HealthyGamerGG - "Do People Really Not Understand Ego?"

Episode Date: March 3, 2024

In today's episode, Dr. K analyses another reddit post from an individual who asks the question, "do people not understand ego?" Join us as we explore what ego is, the active of "witnessing", and perhaps what lies beyond it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Want to get started? Head to CarMax.com for details and get pre-qualified today. Want to drive? CarMax. The ego is a part of the mind. It can be observed just like your thoughts, just like your emotions. You can notice the function of ego. It's trickier. It's subtler. But you can even notice any eye statement that you make is a thought, right? And it's being sort of run by the ego. Why does everyone talk about the ego as if they're not the ego that's doing the talking? Everyone seems to refer to the ego as if it's as if it's separate from the one typing or talking. Just as a thought. arises, so do these words I'm typing, as well as the words I speak. It's like everyone is trying to transcend this voice in their head or whatever, but the voice in the head is what's creating these words I type, as well as the words I speak. Do people understand this, or have they just created a super

ego that thinks it's separate from the thoughts and words when reflecting upon what they've seen? When explaining to me, it seems as if the program has realized it's a program, but other people seem to think that the words they write and say are not coming from thought slash ego. I'm not referring to the awareness or consciousness that's observing all of this. Just referring to the seemingly large number of people who think they're not an ego when communicating. So, if you are confused, because everyone's talking about ego, but isn't it just the ego that's doing the talking? No, it's not. Hey, Dr. Kay, how do I get my kid to put down the game without it being a fight every single time?

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And we run into this problem here with English, because English does not have the language to specify these differences. So the first thing is that this person says thought slash ego, which implies that thoughts and ego are the same thing. Right. So if you're using like good slash right, like that implies, this is precisely this person's problem, according to me, is that they haven't understood that the mind has different parts and that different parts can observe and act on each other. So let's understand that. We're going to use the Sanskrit phrase, Antakarana. So Antakarana is oftentimes translated as the mind,

but man is mind such an unsophisticated representation of it. So an takarana literally means internal instrument, and that is the best definition. So if we look at our lives, okay, there is this physical body. We have hands, we have eyes, we have nose, and all of these things are designed to interact, with the outside world. So I can pick up a pen.

So that the hand is really interesting because it is a sensory organ and it is an organ of action. I can affect a willpower change in the external world with my hands and I can get information from the outside world with my hands. The whole body is an external instrument.

I can taste things from the outside. My body will let me know whether this is healthy or unhealthy because I'll get sick or I'll feel good after I eat something. So we have this instrument that allows us to connect the external. And then we have this instrument that is internal. This is the Antakarn. This is the mind. Now let's understand. So much like the body has hands, feet, eyes, nose, we have five senses. We have many organs of action, right? We can do things with our feet. We can do things with our hands.

We can do things with our voice. We can affect change in the outside world with many instruments that are part of the body. So what are the parts of the Antakarana, the internal instrument? So the first question is thoughts and ego, because this is what this person is confused about. Can I think without having an ego? Absolutely. Right? So if we look at what is the ego, the ego is the sense of I. So an ego is something that's me, mine.

That's what ego is. So even in the West and the East, we kind of agree that there is a quality of possessiveness. There is a quality of me-ness. There is a quality of e-ness. We know there's this part of the brain called the default mode network, which is probably where this part of the onus lives. We also know that the me has a spatial location. So I know this sounds kind of weird, but you, the euness of you exist somewhere over here.

You're not in a different room right now. You're where you are, right? And that sounds kind of weird, but we also know that you can electrically stimulate the temporal parietal junction of the brain, and you can trigger a out-of-body experience. You can have an eye that is outside of the physical location of your body. So there's a certain eyeness. So the function of thought is separate from the function of ego. So ego is identity.

It's like who I am. Okay? In Sanskrit, we have the word Ahamkara, which means the sense of I or eyeness. But you can think about things without ego. It is you that's doing the thinking, yes, but you're not thinking in terms of ego. Like, I can just drink this water. There's no ego involved in that, right? I'm just drinking water.

And you can say, but you're saying you're saying you're drinking water. But yeah, but that could be unconscious too. I could just drink the water. So we have thoughts. We have emotions. And then we have the ego. So the ego is anytime you have an I statement, that is the ego. So I am good at this.

I am good at that. That requires a judgment of an identity compound. Anytime we make a comparison, it involves the ego. Because I cannot say that you are taller or shorter without me being taller or shorter. So you can make comparisons to non-people. That's not ego. But anytime you make a comparison to someone else, that involves the ego. Because you can't say that you are taller or shorter unless you have an identity.

And so the ego is a part of the mind. It can be observed just like your thoughts, just like your emotions. You can notice the function of ego. It's trickier. It's subtler. But you can even notice any eye statement that you make is a thought, right? And it's being sort of run by the ego. Your little one grew three inches overnight.

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ever jump into a body of water that is a little bit cold. For a moment, you're just pure existence. You're not fat or thin, you're not silly or smart, you're not successful or a failure, you're not poor or rich. For a moment, you're just jump into the water and then you exist fully in that moment. You're not not paying attention. You're not thinking about video games or distracted or anything like that. You're fully present right there for just a flash of a second, but you have no sense of identity. If you really pay attention, you'll find this. And so this is the ego.

And it's not the same as thought. It's not the same as emotion. And then we sort of get to this ultimate idea, which the person kind of alludes to in their post, right, which is, I'm not referring to the awareness or consciousness that's observing this. That's what's ultimately at the end of it, okay? Is that there is a consciousness, the act of witness, observation, or experience is ultimately like what's even beyond the Antakarana. So the Antakarana, the internal instrument or the mind has thoughts, it has emotions, it has ego, has two other things, some scars, like memories, and it's got a location. of sorts called the chita. It's got a space where all these things interact. And then beyond that is pure consciousness. And so when this person says it seems to me as if the program has realized it's a program. It's not the program that realizes it's a program. It's the consciousness that realizes that there is a program running. So you have a witnessing capability which can witness your thoughts, can witness your emotions, and can witness your ego. But the witnesser itself doesn't have

any ego qualities because it is just the screen on which everything else is projected. Right. So I don't know if this makes sense, but like, you know, you can have a lot of pixels on the screen, but the TV itself doesn't change. Everything, all of the images that are projected on the screen can change, your thoughts can change, your emotions can change, but that which experiences has never changed. That's the you. Your body has changed. Your mind has changed. But you have not changed. What makes you you, you is you are the one who experiences every moment of your life. This is why it's so hard for other people to understand you, because they don't experience the other parts of your life. If everyone could share experiences, everyone would understand each other.

The whole challenge in life is you're the only one that experiences your life. And yet you are always experiencing it. You don't get a break from it for even a moment. This quality of experience is the most fundamental thing. And that is what observes the ego. It isn't the ego observing the ego. And there's a very simple way to understand this. So when someone is behaving egotistically, do they know they are behaving egotistically?

Not at all. Y'all get that? The more of their head that someone has up their, the less aware they are. The ego dominates the mind. It dominates the antakarana. And as it dominates the untaqarana, you lose awareness. Narcissists don't know they're narcissists. That's the whole problem. How do you demolish narcissism? You raise awareness. As they become more aware, the narcissism reduces, literally. If we look at things like dialectical behavioral therapy, which is regarded by many as the best evidence-based treatment for borderline personality disorder, which is a cluster B

B.P.B. Personality disorder. And the cluster B.P.D. and narcissism also include narcissism. So what do BPD and narcissism share? They share a very unhealthy ego. That's the root of it. Unhealthy in different ways. And so mindfulness helps both. So the more we move away from the ego, the more that the symptoms of these clinical illnesses improve. And so ego doesn't observe itself. Okay. And now if y'all are really paying attention, some of you all may ask the question, but, you know, what is it? So if the witness or the experiencer can observe the ego, what is it that observes the witness?

And the cool thing is people may say, is there a witnesser beyond witnesser? Right? So I witness my life, but is there something beyond that? Is there something beyond that? Is it basically like turtles all the way down? And the answer is no. There is an end of the road.

And the witnesser is the end of the road, but you can't understand that until you get really good at looking beyond the Antakarana to your awareness, until you learn how to move, past emotions, thoughts, and ego to what is experiencer. And then you try to look beyond that. You can keep looking and then you'll find the answer.

It makes sense once you find it, right? There's just one, it's not like the TV is pixels on another TV, which is pixels on another TV, right? So this is what it kind of looks like. But no, it isn't infinitely regressive. So in the way that we know that is because if you actually get rid of the Antakarna, if you stop all thoughts, all emotions, and all ego, and you are just witnessing in a raw way, there's nothing beyond it. That's full. It feels complete. You have to experience it. But by all means, go looking for something beyond ego and, I mean, beyond the witnesser and prove me wrong.

Go for it, right? This is just, once again, the ego of me. Oh, my God, my experiences must be generalized to everybody. I could be wrong. I could be an idiot. In fact, I am an idiot. So check it out for yourselves. Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we're fit for your ambitions, whatever shape they may take. Whether you're planning for today or tomorrow, we've got the flexibility and know-how to help you reach your goals. Because we're built for what you're building. First Citizens Bank, fit for your ambition. Learn more at firstcitizens.com slash ambition.