HealthyGamerGG - Dr. K Gives You YOUR Daily Dose of Internet

Episode Date: February 6, 2021

We're joined today by Daily Dose Of Internet. Stream Schedule: https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg on Twitch. Youtube: https://youtu.be/s5cjlHMkOUM for VoD Archive. Support us at https://ko-fi.com/healthygamer if you enjoy our content and would continue helping making it accessible to everyone! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, are we live? Yep, we're live. Hello, everyone, this is your Daily Dose Internet. Here you see Daily Dose having a nice chat with the famous Dr. K. That's cool, man. I like that voice. All right, awesome. So we're doing it.

Let's go. Let's go. How you, and what do you go by? Jason or Daily Dose or pretty much anything, really. Okay. The Minecraft people call me Big D. So. That's great.

I'll take anything. Yeah. So thanks for coming on, first of all. I think so far, you know, we haven't docks you revealed your identity. We're going to try to see how long we can keep that going. Well, it's one of those things that's like, I mean, it's not impossible to find a quick Google search. We'll get you exactly what you want to see. I mean, it's not like.

We can see the big D on Google? No, you can. Go to Google Images. We'll help you out with that. But, you know, it's just one of those things where a lot of people just don't want to have the magic ruined for whatever reason. And they have their own idea of what I look like. And I don't want to ruin that magic for them. So it's totally up to them.

Okay. Cool. And Jason, is there something in, thank you very much for, you know, coming on? It's cool to hear the, you know, you go into the voice. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of cool. So I basically add a little bit of stress on it. I mean, my, like, you know, my regular voice. But if I want to like, I add a little bit of stress.

And the reason why I do that is because I want to make it sound as clear as possible because it's an international audience. So I get people from all around the world and they're like, wow, you know, I'm just learning English. And I like watching your videos because it helps me practice and learn my English because you speak so clearly. So I'm like, yes, that's exactly what I was kind of shooting for. I want to sound as clear as possible for as many people to understand the. point I'm trying to get across and yeah. That's cool. But you have very clear like a crisp diction.

I guess. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I didn't really. I never connected those dots until you kind of said it. That it is. Yeah. I mean, I obviously, I add stress on it for on purpose.

Yeah. Yeah. It's cool. Is there something in particular that you want to talk about today or anything that we can help you with? Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't know exactly what you've already covered, but I think it's interesting from my perspective on what, you know, what most YouTubers go through, what they have to go through.

And from a mental health aspect in what they have to overcome, what they have to conquer, and what they deal with on a daily basis is really interesting. I don't know. Like, for me personally, it's interesting how my whole life changed, because of YouTube. You know, I didn't really use social media much. It's just kind of, I really didn't.

And now that it's, I use it every day, it's my job. I have to be on, you know, Instagram and TikTok and YouTube and all this stuff for many hours a day. And I just wonder, you know, if there will be any negative impact on that in the future. Because I have seen in my own life how it's almost like my perspective on what is considered normal and what is considered what's a correct term is what is considered normal is what's considered normal on Instagram is not considered normal on everyday life. Sure. So basically it only shows the good and it kind of distorts my view on reality. And I'm not saying like, oh, social media bad, ooh, I'm saying like, I'm saying like, I truly believe in some aspects of my life, it has distorted my view of reality.

And so I just wonder years from now how, what's going to happen, you know, when we, because social media is still relatively new, years from now, when all these studies come out, what's going to be the negative impact of social media? And what's, and how is it distorting other people's views? because, I mean, when you spend multiple hours every day on social media, no days off, what does that do to you? Are you afraid of what it's doing to you? That's what I'm afraid of. I am afraid because I don't know. This is unknown territory in the scientific world because we really don't know. it's like I said,

social media is very, very new. And we don't, you know, we don't have a ton of studies on this. We don't have decades of, you know, studies on the impact of social,

social media on someone. So I'm just, I just don't know what's going to happen. So I, hopefully nothing bad, but, you know, I don't know. Yeah.

So I think we don't, so it's interesting. So I'm going to start just a touch like abstract, academic or philosophical. I think, unfortunately, I don't know if we're ever really going to have studies on it. And there's a really simple reason for that. And that is that the pace at which science studies something is far slower than the pace at which social media is evolving.

Right. So this is like kind of different. I mean, this is relatively new in the history of science. So if you look at medicine, right, like people have been breaking their legs for like millions of years. People have been getting infections for millions of years. People have had hearts and lungs and hypertension for millions and millions of years. People have had cancer for millions and millions of years. Now, there are new kinds of cancer, right?

So when people, like, started smoking tobacco, there's, like, lung cancer. And then we can study that. But, like, people have been smoking tobacco for hundreds of years. I think there's something really interesting going on when it comes to things like video game addiction, mental health impacts of social media, where, like, you know, there are studies, like, sort of coming out. now about like Facebook. Right? And like that doesn't even account like it's not even the current iteration of Facebook.

It's like a study published today measured people's like Facebook usage three years ago. And like Facebook is different now. Oh, that's true. It's constantly changing. Isn't it? It's not the same. Whereas cancer will just remain. Yeah. So cancer will change a little bit. Right. Like we've got COVID. COVID is like relatively new, but also we've had coronaviruses. I mean, the common cold is a coronavirus. So we like have known a bunch about coronaviruses. We know a bunch of, so there's like, there's evolution in medicine, but generally speaking, science can keep up with the change of like physical medicines pacing. Right. Whereas social media is evolving so rapidly and technology is evolving so rapidly. Like,

we still don't really have a clear sense of whether, you know, what the risk of keeping your cell phone in your pocket is for testicular cancer. Like those are the kinds of studies. Like, those are the kinds of studies that were kind of like have I have always worried about that so I like I always keep my backpack it. I'm like I'd rather get butt cancer than yeah but cancer ain't pretty though no it isn't but um so so yeah I mean there's just a lot of weird responses to that statement like you can't actually just remove a testicle and like you'll be if you get you know can't can't remove your butt I guess not.

I mean, you can if you use Instagram filters, I suppose. But anyway, so I think, like, that's one of the really interesting things where is a mental health professional. Like, I don't, I've, I've come to an interesting realization. And I'm sure that history will prove me wrong because history proves most physicians wrong. So I actually, I know it's going to prove me wrong because we're actually working on that. But I think that the old system of studying things is too slow. And so, you know, we're going to have to adapt. And so one way that we adapt as an organization is like, I don't think we need to worry so much about what effects it's going to have on you.

Because I think you already know, like this is the cool thing about clinical medicine is that you don't need studies, right? Like you work with a patient. You work with an individual. And based on working with an individual, you can learn a lot. So like my question for you, Jason, is like how has social media already affected you? Well, I just feel like I don't want to get too personal about that, but I do feel that we need a need. I think there's a need for disclosing when Photoshop is used in pictures and stuff. I just feel like there has to be some sort of law of some sort because it's so easy to edit a photo on Instagram.

or even on TikTok or whatever, and to show something that's just not true. And you're constantly flooded with this idea that, oh my gosh, she looks like this. Oh, my gosh, this guy has so many cars and stuff.

Like that idea of a false reality gets embedded as truth, and it can really distort your view on reality. And I just think it's really dangerous. And we really have, there's nothing we can really do about that in terms of preventing people from doing that. I mean, anyone can do whatever they want. I mean, that's the beauty of it. You can do whatever you want.

But also, it's like you kind of have to take it with a grain of assault. Like, hey, watch out. Not everything that you see on social media is factual. Try not to dive too deep into that. Yeah. So, you know, it would be interesting. I think you're kind of talking about a macro solution to a macro problem. So as people, you know, if people had to state when a.

filter was used. Like, I think that's one step in the right direction. I still think, though, that, I mean, you know, I don't, how can I say this? When you look at a pick, you know, when you look at 10 pretty people in a row on Instagram and there's a little disclaimer in the bottom right corner that a filter was used, I don't know that your brain is really going to feel any less inadequate, right? Right. I don't know. I guess I don't know. I just don't know if there's an answer for this sort of situation. Because I think it, well, not a, not a, I guess if you just, yeah, delete Instagram, delete, you know, social media. Not the one that I was thinking of, but that's an answer too.

Why, what were you thinking? Well, because I think that there are two things that you can, there are two dimensions that you can act, right? One is on the outer world and one is on you. So, so, you know, you were asking at the very beginning, you were going to, you were, kind of talking about what YouTubers face, what content creators kind of face in terms of mental health challenges. And this is where like we've actually learned a lot. And there are things that you can do. Right. So like like, so let me just give you kind of a quick example. And if I'm getting too far off track for you, just let me know. No, you're good. So, so I think the really cool thing is if

you look at like ancient like India and China, there was a lot of research that was done on like how the mind functions, like in its fundamental parts. So we have this thing called ego. or Ahamkara is what they called it. So Ahamkara is sort of translated as ego, but technically the translation is like the I feeling, the feeling of I. So it also gets translated as like your sense of identity. And what the yogis kind of figured out

is that there are some things that will cause the Ahamkara to like get worse. So comparison is a good example. So like comparison makes our ego or our sense of self feel worse. What's that quote? Comparison is a fief of joy? Yeah.

I've heard that a lot recently, right? Yeah. Absolutely. It's a fantastic quote. And so the yogis also said that the greater you're a hum god or the more you're suffering, which is. I mean, since you're on that topic, I kind of did dive into into Buddhism because I was really interested in that because basically it's all, it's like everything in life is like life is pain. is, life is miserable and it's, it's like understanding that life, gosh, I forgot, I had a really good quote for this. But I did dive into Buddhism. It was just really interesting because I really felt

connected to it because it's like life is pain, life is miserable, but like we, it's just the way we go about it. Gosh, I'm sorry, I haven't, I haven't dived into it in a while, but I was really obsessed with Buddhism for about six months ago. And can you help me understand, why you got interested in it? I mean, it's because, gosh, this is, this is embarrassing because I, I was, like, obsessed with it for the longest time and now I can't remember anything. Hold on, hold on, Jason, Jason, this is a good opportunity. Close your eyes.

Okay. What are you feeling right now? Um, well, I'm, I'm frustrated because I want to, I want to figure out had a really good quote. Yep. And it was so awesome. Yeah. I couldn't find it.

Yeah. So how does it feel? Stop looking for the quote. Gosh, okay. Eyes closed. How does it? So notice like the intolerability. You got to find it.

You see what your mind is doing? Well, I think that's just my ADHD as well. Sure. So that's still your mind. But you got to find it, right? And what happens if you didn't find it? I get frustrated because I want to share this amazing knowledge with so many people and I can't share it. Yeah.

right? So like, can you let that go? No, I like educating. I like educating people. I love, I love teaching people. I'm very passionate about teaching, which is why I love my job. Okay. Find a quote, bro, if you want to. Hold up three. It's going to take three seconds here. I got this. Okay. Okay. I finally found it. Oh, so that's it. Everyone is suffering. Everyone is suffering with something life is suffering and um three so all life is suffering the second point is the cause of all suffering is desire and to remove to remove the suffering you have to remove the desire that's the three points so from the top all life is suffering the cause of suffering is desire and to remove the suffering you have to remove the desire and I really connected with that on Buddhism I thought

was really interesting. Okay. How do you feel having shared that? Because I feel like, I just feel like I shared knowledge with people. How does that feel? Yeah. Right? So now this is really tricky because you had a desire to share it.

Yes. And as a result, I was suffering. I was suffering because of my desire to share. Ah, but then you shared. And once you shared, you shared, you, You were happy. Right. And so then how do we approach those noble truths that you have there?

Right? So how do we say? Because it didn't, I mean, wouldn't you say that if you, you know, the fulfillment of desire leads to happiness? Um, I don't know. Because that's what happened with you just now, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. Right. Right. That's correct. So why isn't that on there? Why isn't what on there?

That fulfilling your desires leads to happen. happiness. Well, I mean, I guess I maybe just a little bit of happiness, but I do I do feel connected in the end and and those those noble truths there because it's almost like I just I just feel so kind because there's just just just pain there's suffering everywhere and it's all because we have a desire and with with desire comes suffering and it's just you know if you want something you got to work for it. And that's most basic form of desire, you know, you're going to suffer and you will be rewarded, but you're going to suffer to get it. Yeah. So this is kind of interesting, right? Because I don't think that the

noble truth say anything about a reward through suffering. No. But I'm just kind of like piggybacking off what you just like, because there is a, I guess there is a reward. But even if it's just for a short amount of time. Yeah. So that's, that's the key thing. Right. So if we, if, so So I think what Buddhism discovers, like, let's talk about a cookie, for example. Like, so if I want to eat a cookie and I eat the cookie, am I happy? Uh, what, what was your objective? Did you want to eat the cookie? Yeah.

Like, you want it to. I wanted the cookie, man. It's a warm, partially baked chocolate chip cookie, bro. And after you eat it, do you feel any sort of regret? Sure. Okay, then I don't know what to say. Right. So I'll ask you when you eat, do you like chocolate chip cookies?

I love chocolate chip cookies. Everyone does. Yeah. And when you eat a chocolate chip cookie, do you feel regret? Well, maybe a little bit, but I'm also kind of a health freak. See? So this is what the Buddhist discovered. You fucking asked me a question.

I asked you the same damn question. And your answer is at least a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. Right? So, like, this is the crazy thing about even satisfying your desire, which we think makes us happy. But then the more that you look at it, okay, I eat one cookie. Oh, no, now it's gone. They're suffering there.

I want another one. Exactly. It's so goofy because I almost feel like it applies to everything in life. Yes. Are you Buddhist? Sure. I don't know. because he seemed very knowledgeable, because I feel like a lot of people don't, aren't unaware of this.

Yeah, so I'm pretty knowledgeable about Buddhism, but I think, so the first thing is, like, Buddhism is, like, not really religion. No, it's just a way of life. Yeah. So, so, like, and Buddhism is essentially, like, I mean, I'm sure a lot of Buddhists will take offense to this, but, you know, it's an outgrowth of, like, what we call the Hindu tradition. Right? So there's particular, like, Hinduism is a, it.

is also not really religion because it's so many different things. It's simultaneously atheistic, monotheistic, and polytheistic. So I sort of follow the branch of Hinduism, which is like sort of atheistic, which is sort of basically Buddhism. Cool. But whether it's Hinduism or Buddhism, I mean, Buddha grew up in India, all of his teachings, you know, come from his own experiences, but are rooted in, quote, Hindu traditions. but all of those labels and ownership of what is who is like all Western, those are all like based on monotheistic Judeo-Christian conceptions of religion, which is you are something or you aren't something,

which like that concept doesn't really apply to what I call the karmic religions. Right. Yeah. I don't know. I've always been fascinated with, I've always been fascinated with just learning about different religions, learning about different ways of life, how to live. I've always been a very, I'm not saying like, oh, I'm a scholar or anything, but I've always been very fascinated with, like, you know, psychology and philosophers and, you know.

What's wrong with saying you're a scholar? I, well, what is the definition of a scholar? I think it's what you do. What I do on daily dose of internet? I think you're a scholar. That's a wonderful. compliment. Thank you so much. I don't feel that way either, but why not? I don't know. I thought a scholar was someone who, who really dived into something and they're extremely

knowledgeable, much more, because I just scratched the surface on everything. And I go, oh, that's interesting. And they kind of move on. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, how would you know when you've gone far enough. What's the, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, um, ancient quote. They said, I know then, I know that I know nothing. So that's the answer to that question. So, okay. You never know. You never know. Okay. So do you feel like you don't understand Buddhism well enough? I don't. I mean, I forgot that three noble truth. Doesn't that by definition make you a scholar? I, I guess, I guess so is, is, I, is, I don't. I mean, I mean, I don't know, is, I

guess is if anyone has a ounce of curiosity, they are a scholar. So you just, you just, uh, inflated the egos of so many, so many people who might be unamountable. Interestingly enough, I think it's your ego that gets in the way of you like calling yourself a scholar. Why, what do you mean that? That means I don't have an ego then. No, no, I think it's actually your ego. So your ego says, I'm not good enough to be a scholar. This is the way that real scholars are. and look at me. I'm just an amateur. Well, I, I, this is so goofy.

I've never thought about this. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I guess you're right. That's ego, right? You're saying it's, there's a voice in your head that says, I am not this. That's fucking ego. Yeah. I'm the best person in the world.

Fucking ego. I'm the worst person in the world. Fucking ego. You know, I was thinking about this other day. I was like, when I was growing up, when I was a teenager, I really, I truly believe I knew everything. Like, I thought I was. so smart. I don't need my parents help all this stuff. And then I got older and went, oh my gosh,

I don't know anything. I know nothing. And it's so goofy how that works out. Yeah. So I think that that's, how do you think that happened? Gosh, hormones or something? I'm not sure. If only hormones could make people humble, the world would be a very different place. I have no idea. Here's an injection of the humble hormone. Yeah. So I think, you know, Jason, mentioned, I asked you one semi-personal question and you kind of steered away from it. So if you really want to know how that happened, I would have to, we could explore that together. Because I suspect like, I don't think it was just hormones. I think that I think what makes you scholarly, I mean, is that a job? I don't know. But what makes you scholarly is I think you're curious. And I think, you know, you devote what attention your mind is capable of on a particular thing. And I think that our society tends to undervalue breadth of knowledge to depth of knowledge. Yeah. But I don't think that depth of knowledge is necessarily superior to breadth of knowledge.

You know, I wasn't always really curious. Like, I'm more curious than I've ever been in my life. I just want to know the answers to everything. And then the more answers I find, the more the more questions I get. And it's, if that doesn't, that's a fucking scholar, I mean, I don't. I don't know. But like, because I, I was never this curious. I mean, I said this to some of my friends. I said, I felt like I lived, I think I made, I even made a tweet about this. I felt like I lived on my life on autopilot up until I was about maybe, maybe it was about 23. And that's when the first time I, I truly felt like I was awake. I was like, I truly felt awake for the very first time of my life. And I was, oh my gosh. And I just got extremely. me curious about everything around me. And I think it's because, you know, I graduated from college and it was my first time living on my own and I go, wait, no one's telling me what to do,

where to go. And it's like the first time in my entire life that I've had to make my own decisions and that kind of just opened up my entire personality to trying to figure out life. How did that happen? Well, it's because, I mean, I had a wonderful, wonderful upbringing with loving parents and loving family. However, for some reason, well, a couple problems here. Since I had ADHD growing up, that caused a lot of problems. And it caused a lot of self-doubt in me. And it caused me to be extremely reliant on my parents for their opinions, on my career. career goals, anything, what I should do.

They help me with everything, which is great, but it left me very helpless. So I had no self-identity. Like, if you asked me what my personality was when I was in high school, I'd be like, I have no idea. I truly didn't feel like I had a sense of self whatsoever. And then that sense of self grew in college, but it really took off after college, because that was the first time I was really on my own. I wasn't reliant on my parents or anything at all.

And I was able to become my own person. And it's beautiful, like a little blooming flower. Can you tell us about that person now? Well, I don't know. It's just a, like I said, I was very timid. I had no self-confidence. And the biggest thing is that the best way for someone to grow confidence is to be good at something. This YouTube thing is the first time I've ever had confidence in my life.

And I've said this many times. I thank people on Twitter all the time ago, you know, thank you for changing my life. YouTube changed my life. It gave me a sense of confidence that I've never had my life. I was never good at anything. I was never good enough at anything to be considered, you know, whatever. So this is the first time of my life where I was actually better at other people at this. for whatever reason.

And it grew my confidence. And it didn't make me cocky or anything, but it made me go like, oh my gosh, I feel proud of what I've accomplished, which is something I've never really felt before in my life. And yeah. Yeah, sorry, go keep on. I don't think I had anything else.

And what did you accomplish, Jason? Like I said, when I quit my job at the bank. So February 2nd was my last day. So three years ago, okay, so February 2nd was three days ago. That was the three year anniversary of me quitting my job at the bank. And I was working at the bank and I worked there for two years after college and I didn't know what to do. I only went there because my uncle helped me get a job. He knew a guy who knew a guy, so helped me get a job.

But that was not my decision. That was not my life goal. That was not my. So obviously, how am I supposed to have confidence in something that I know nothing up? Also, that job I did not need a college degree for. I literally felt like a monkey pushing buttons. So it's just unfortunate because my parents and me spent so much money on my college degree just to be a monkey pushing button.

So I'm happy that I got out of there. but I really grew into my son's self once I did something on my own. When I told my family, like, I think I want to quit the bank and do YouTube full time. And I got a lot of backlash. Oh, no, no, no, no, you got to save the bank. You got to say, you know, it's, that makes sense. Our parents grew up at a time when it's, you know, the internet's the unknown, the scary place. You don't know what's going to happen.

And I'm like, I'm going to try this. I know it goes against everything that my family really wants me to do. And I rely them on their advice for such a long time. And it was the first time I want, I don't want to take your advice. And I felt very empowering because I felt confident enough. I was like, I really, seriously, the first time I really didn't take my, my family's advice. I was like, I want to do this. I want to give it a shot.

I don't, I don't want to pressure you with what I'm going to say. I just want to share something. I just really wish people could see your face right now. Yeah, yeah. We don't need to change anything, Jason. Do you think I'm pretty? No, I think your face says a lot. I mean, I think people can tell you what your words mean,

but I think like you can see like the hope. There's a, you know. Yeah. There's a good, I'm not, I'm not saying we should change anything. I'm just commenting. We'll see, we'll see what people do next time, huh? We can do another one. Yeah, whatever. Well, it's worry. I just maybe it was inappropriate for me to say, but I just wanted to...

Oh, no, no, let me put it this way. I really enjoyed being able to see your face in that moment, so I'm glad you're on video, at least for me. Put on video. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I'm really not trying to pressure you. Hold up. Let's go. Nope. Nope. Nope. We're going. Close your eyes. We're not going anywhere. Close your eyes. All right. What happened? We're going to do it again. We're going to measure. What's the desire? What's happening? We're going to play this game. Round two. How do you feel about going on camera in front of the internet?

I think it would be funny. But I mean, I've done this before. I did the, I'm not, I'm not afraid or anything. I mean, I've shown my face like a few times on the internet, so it's whatever. But like, I'm not, it's not like a big face review or anything. You can just, but at the same time, I've never really done like a podcast thing. like a live, like a live video of me. So let's do it.

So is that coming from a tranquil mind? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a crazy person. So. I swear my life, you're okay. nervous. I'm just like I think that like you know don't get me wrong Jason your voice is awesome but your face is too bro. Thank you. Okay hold on a second. I figure out how to do this.

Oh besides, I can show off my cool standing desk then when you get the camera going. Let me just figure out. I just got a standing desk and I love it. Okay. All right. Anyway, so we can just keep talking. Cool. We're good. We're live. Yep. All right, cool. So, but so you said that developing confidence is about being good at something, right? Right. Okay.

So did you feel like you were good at something when you told your parents that you wanted to do this? Yeah, I felt like I was, I knew something that they didn't know. And I felt like I was more knowledgeable about, about YouTube and what goes about it than they do. So I just felt like I felt extremely confident about what I wanted to do. And so yeah, it's been now it's a three year anniversary of me quitting the bank. And it was a big decision. It's kind of funny. I didn't know you had to put in the two-week thing.

And I guess you don't technically have to. But I guess you don't technically have to, but I was kind enough to do that. And it just so happened to end up on Groundhog Day, which is so funny because it's like, it's so like symbolic. like Groundhog Day, you wake up to do the same thing over and over again, hating your life. Hopefully, a lot of you people saw that movie. But, yeah, so it's just kind of symbolic. Anyways, that's an easy day to remember. Like, oh my gosh, Groundhog Day, the day that I don't have to go to the bank.

Yeah, that's actually, you know, quite the karmic coincidence. Uh-huh. Well, it's funny. Like, I didn't know what I was doing at the bank whatsoever, like at all. And so you know how like most jobs, they have performance reviews and they're like, they'll be like how, what did you? Oh, sorry. On it's ringing. You'll do like performance reviews where like whether it's like a six month review, out of the year review, most people would talk about all the things that they accomplished and all the amazing things they did during that year.

Like most people do when they do a job. Like, here's what I did. I helped on this report. I did this task. And they'd be like, you know, a page long. Every time I had a performance review, I wrote one sentence. And all I said was, I just want to get better. And I left it at that.

My boss called me in the office the first time I did that. I did it like five times. I just want to get better. And the first time she went, what's going on here? Like most people give like all the things that it did. I'm like, I don't even know. Like I really don't know much about banking. I'm just trying to get better every day.

I really don't know what I'm doing. Like I'll be honest. Like I really don't know what I'm doing. I just know what I need to do. So yeah. And then what did she say? I just, she was like, okay, whatever. Whatever.

Yeah. So, yeah. I get the feeling, Jason, that you weren't really living your life back then. No, I wasn't. And it feels to me like you're living your life now. I wanted to be a YouTuber since I was 16. So this is my dream job. Well, actually my, yes, this is my dream job.

My other job was I want that I wanted to be, is I wanted to be a high school guidance counselor because I had such an awesome high school guidance counselor. Super cool. and I was like, this is such a cool job. All you do is call in students every day and go like talk. He would invite me and like, what do you want to talk about? Like, what's going on?

I think that's such a cool job. Just like just get inside the heads of how the kids are doing in the high school. So that was my other dream job that I want to do because I think just, it's just interesting just to, you know, give that support to people who might be not feeling too great. sounds like that it's kind of interesting because I'm noticing some

irregularities in your story what do you mean so the first is that like you kind of said that you weren't like a real person until 23 you know that's sort of the impression that I got

is that like you were just listening to your parents and like kind of going on autopilot and stuff like that but and then you kind of go back and you say actually like you wanted to be a YouTuber since you're 16 Oh, I did, but I didn't seriously like, I was like, oh, it's not going to happen.

Like, no one's going to watch me or anything. So it's a really important distinction, right? So I think actually like, Jason, you've been a person all along. You just didn't have the confidence to know it. Yeah, that was probably it. Maybe that was a situation there. Right? Because it's like you knew what you wanted.

You just didn't have faith in yourself that like your opinions were good ones because you were. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I didn't really. get in, I didn't get in, that's why everyone was kind of my friend in high school. I didn't have any, I didn't get in any arguments whatsoever because I was not knowledgeable enough to think of any counterpoints. Like, oh, that's a good point. I don't know. I just kind of agreed with everyone. If you agree with everyone, it's pretty easy to get along. Yeah. You're kind

of a chameleon. Yeah, I just kind of blended in. It's kind of, it's kind of goofy because I kind of just blended in with everyone else. I'd be like, no matter what friend group I was with, I was like, oh, I guess I have to act this way now. I got to act this way now. So I just kind of changed my personality based on who I was with, which is obviously not the best thing to do.

Who are you? I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. I'm just some guy trying to get through life like everyone else. Does that question make you uncomfortable? No, no. What if I said, what if I said I didn't believe you, that you don't know who you are? I'd be like, you're, okay.

I don't care. Like, I don't care. So, so it's interesting because Jason, here's what I would say. I think you know who you are. I just don't think you know how to explain it. I don't know how to explain either. I don't know. I really don't know who you are.

Oh my gosh. I just turn off my monitor. You may have turned off your monitor, but we can see you fine. Okay. I think I'm back. I don't know what just happened there. I'm back. Yeah.

So, we say something about I don't know who I am. Yeah. Do you really not feel like you know who you are? No, I know. I don't even know how to, what's the definition of that? I don't even know how to explain that. Like, what if I say, who are you? Like, what would you say?

I'm me. Okay, well, I'm me too. So what's a problem? And there's no problem. Right? So here's, here's, my problem is that when you say you don't know who you are, I call bullshit. Okay, that makes sense. Okay.

Well, I mean. But I just get, I mean, I don't. And now it's, it gets tricky because we know you're a chameleon. So are you just playing along because that's what I want to hear? Like, do you like, because I get the sense that you're, I mean, we talked about how you're confident in yourself. Like, you know who you are. Well, I mean, what I don't know what the correct answer here is. Like, do I just say I'm a, I'm a YouTuber.

I make YouTube videos. I mean, I'm a, I'm a guy that just wants, I'm a curious person that just wants to learn about the world. Like, I don't know. There's just so many different answers for that kind of question. Yeah, good. So now we get back to Buddhism. Yes.

So, because you're saying all of those things are not, don't capture the essence of who I am. That's actually what I'm hearing. Yeah. I think so. It's sort of like, if I look at a house from one side, that's not the whole house. And then if I walk around to the side of the house, that's not the whole house either. And then if I walk around to the back, that's not the whole house.

And so could you be described as a YouTuber? Sure. Could you be described as, I think, a little bit closer to the truth of who you are, is that you're just a curious guy who likes to teach people things? Yeah. That's what I love the most because I really wanted to be a teacher. I really wanted to teach people things. Now, I really can.

So whenever I get something educational, I get so excited. because I don't want to like bore people with educational stuff but if I find something that's genuinely interesting I'm like, ask let's go. I got something good. Like because there's a lot of stuff that people, you know, a lot of schools won't teach for whatever reason. It's not like controversial stuff just like they can't cover everything.

So they're not going to talk about here's a cool video. Here's a cool video of a whale getting tracked by the government or something. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. So I don't know exactly where this conversation is going, but I'm going to teach you a little bit.

We're going to dig into Buddhism a little bit. Is that okay? Sure. Check my city. I'm going from a standing desk to a sitting desk. Watch. Gigi. So smooth.

Welcome. So the interesting thing is that what, and now I'm going to sort of make some. assumptions about Buddhism, but I'm not as well versed in it. I think at the end of the day, Buddhism and Hinduism share a lot. There are some arguments that they have, which I think are personally, I feel like, are not really important. But the, so one interesting thing, if we kind of go back to ego and the self, is that the way to know who you really are is through this phrase netty, which means not this, not this. Okay.

So if you can use anything to describe who you are, that is not who you are. Okay. So I'm not a YouTuber. I'm not a curious person. The true essence of what you are is not a YouTuber. Because you were you before you were a YouTuber, right? Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I had a sense of self before, uh, became,

a YouTuber. But I think it really grew, my sense of self grew with YouTube because I got more confident. And once I got more confident myself, then yeah, it's beautiful. I just had, it's just so frustrating because if I, if I was a person I am today and it's just, I compare myself to my sister. My sister was always very confident from a very young age. And I was thinking about this too. I thought about this too. I was like, oh my gosh, she set the bar so high. Like, you know, she got straight A's and everything, got double majored in Spanish and everything. And I, engineering super smart. So it's just like the bar was set so high.

It's like, how do I compete with that? And I don't know. I just, I just, I just, I forgot where I was going with this. What was it like growing up with ADHD with a sister who was so effortlessly successful? It's, I guess it was, well, we didn't really have that close of a relationship because I just, for some reason I was, I just didn't really talk to her that much. because I guess we were on friendly terms and everything, but I just didn't really have a very strong relationship with my sister. And now it's very strong.

Not that I've developed a sense of self. My sister has addressed this too. She's like, I'm very proud of you, Jason. Like you've grown into a very beautiful person because she knows who I used to be. I used to be extremely reliant on the opinions of others. I could never make my own decisions. and now I can. How did that happen?

Like I said, I think it's just from from YouTube and everything. Like I said, YouTube has saved my life. Thank you so much. It's getting so much. It's interesting, right? Because we started this conversation with, oh, my God, what is social media doing to me? And here we hear about the life-changing positive aspects of YouTube. Not a story we hear every day.

No, no. It's just so goofy. because, I mean, yeah, it does have its positives and it's negatives for sure. And you said your sister is proud of you now? And you guys are close? Yeah, I mean, she was always proud of me. She was always a loving sister. But like she could tell that I changed and that's a good thing.

And my mom mentioned that too. She's like, you've changed Jason. That's a good thing. So how does it feel to hear your family say that? It's really nice because it's like, I get to form my own opinions now. I get to be part of the conversation because I used to, you know, I like family dinners and stuff. I just sit there and eat.

I just sit there and eat. I wouldn't plug anything to the conversation. I wouldn't feel a need to, especially like, you know, big, like family dinners like, you know, Christmas and Thanksgiving and stuff. I would never input anything because I wouldn't feel confident enough to give my own opinion. And now I can. It's wonderful. Can I think for a second? Yeah, go for it.

I get a lot of authenticity from you, Jason. What do you mean? A lot of authenticity. You're just, you're authentic. Yeah, I guess. I have nothing to fake. This is me. This is who I am.

Besides, this seems really exhausting to fake a personality. Oh, it is. Like, I'd just be so mentally exhausted. But I mean, you did that for years of years and years, no? No, I guess I don't even. feel like I even had a personality. I don't even feel like I had a sense of self. So I had nothing to fake. I just kind of like, okay, here, where am I supposed to be? I guess I'm here. Where am I supposed to be now, mom? Oh, I guess I'm over here. Like, gosh, I probably had my mom call the doctor for me up until I was like 20.

You know, make appointments for me and stuff. Sure. So I just didn't, I didn't even think about these things. And now I do everything by myself and it's nice. But it's like, I'm learning for like a first time ever, like so many things. Yeah. So I'm. I find myself being a little bit sort of at a crossroads of sorts or one of these weird Boston intersections that has like five roads in one intersection. So I could ask, I'm not sure exactly where to take this conversation. Is there a particular, I can lay out a couple of options that I think would be interesting. Well, I was talking to someone else about this yesterday. Kind of random.

But since you're a doctor, I was wondering what you're. your input input would be. Do you think you'll see lower rates of Alzheimer's because of so many people are gaming now? Like as we get older. Alzheimer's? Yes. Because as we get older you will we're still going to be playing video games and stuff.

Like we're, you know, our generation as they get older when we're going to be like 70, we're still going to be gaming. We're not going to stop gaming. And I think we'll do you think we'll see a lower rates of Alzheimer's as a result. It's a damn good question. And I think we will. Okay.

I think we will because think about the there's so much brain power being used when you're simply playing a video game, first person shooter or anything. And one of the things you want to do to prevent Alzheimer's is

Alzheimer's is to exercise your brain. And that's why, like my dad, he's, today's his birthday. I'm going to see him today. Don't worry. And today's his birthday, what he likes to do to prevent getting Alzheimer's dementia or whatever,

he plays, he doesn't play video games. He makes videos. He makes his own YouTube videos and to, you know, just to exercise his mind. But he also practices Spanish a lot every day. He practices Spanish every day.

He gives free legal advice to poor people. So he does exercise his mind. because he takes precautions to avoid getting Alzheimer's. And I was thinking about them like, well, when our generation gets older, are we going to see lower rates of Alzheimer's as a result? And I think the answer is yes. So I think that that's a very hopeful perspective. I think it also could be true.

So here's, there are a bunch of variables I'm thinking about. So the first thing is that what's protective against dementia, So, the first thing is that not all dementia is Alzheimer's. And, you know, so Alzheimer's is a particular pathophysiologic process in the brain that actually has to do with the inability to clear waste products from our neurons. If pathophysiology serves me correctly, because, you know, it's been years now since I've really dug into the pathophysiology of Alzheimer's. But so, so fortunate or unfortunate, There are some processes that happen in our brain, which have arguably less to do with our mind and keeping our mind engaged. Some things, there are some brain processes that our mind has a greater influence over, others that it has less of an influence over.

So if we think about something like anxiety or depression, I believe that our mind has a strong potential impact on the brain in anxiety. so we can do things with our mind that will change the function of our brain in someone who's anxious. When it comes to something like a glioblastoma multiformi, which is like a particular kind of brain cancer, I think that our mind has less of an impact on altering our brain. So, anxiety. So I say, you don't think, you don't, do you feel like, um, there's not much? You almost feel like it's like, it's a given. It's a given.

like you will get dementia or do you think there's really not much we can do? I don't think either of those statements are true. Okay. So there's a lot we can do and it isn't a given. But I don't know that video games for the answer. So let me just. I'm not saying that's the answer. No, no.

They could be a part of the answer. We'll get to that in a second. So the first thing to kind of lay out is to understand that our mind has different, like the impact of our mind. mind or our brain, changes depending on what process you're talking about. So one end of the spectrum is like cancer where like, I don't know if you can think your way out of cancer. You can certainly, as bizarre it sounds, you can train your mind to think your way out of anxiety. And then in the middle is something like Alzheimer's. So we know that, and this is the interesting thing

about Alzheimer's, and I'm rusty here, so you've got to take this with a grain of salt. If I remember correctly, what's protective against Alzheimer's is actually novel experiences. So what does that mean? So that means like if I've been playing Mario Kart since the age of five and I continue to play Mario Kart until the age of 80, I don't think that's going to be very protective against Alzheimer's. So new experiences? New games. That's a different story. So like this is where like, you know, people think that something like a crossword, like doing a crossword every day is protective against dementia.

It's and really the data seems to suggest that like doing new stuff. So like your dad, you know, engaging new clients that can't pay him and stuff like that. He's like learning to make YouTube videos. That shit is protective against Alzheimer's. But that's because when he was like five, he wasn't playing it. So I think the issue is that, you know, if you spend your, like, I think if you play the League of Legends for 10 hours a day now and you continue doing that for 60 years, I think you're more likely to get Alzheimer's. That makes sense because it's when you're making new experiences, you're making new connections. Absolutely.

So that makes a lot. So the neuroplasticity component has to do with novel experiences. Yeah. I was saying when you learn how to, I think I read something, whenever you learn how to play an instrument, you gain like 3% brain matter mass or something, like something ridiculous. I don't know. I saw some sort of quote or something. So this is also where things get a little bit confusing because actually trimming down connections in your brain.

is how a lot of learning happens. So the highest density of connections and neurons actually happens at birth or even before birth. And then like within the first couple of months or years, like we get down to 10% of what we started with. And the way that I'd kind of think about it is like imagine that I made a block out of a city out of like a block of wood. Like I made like a diagram like, you know, really like the city emerges, the order. emerges out of the reduction of mass, not the increase of mass. And that's also sort of how our brain works. So like, a lot of axonal trimming and things like that is actually associated with learning. So anyway, so I, so. So you're trimming the fat off. Yeah, you're like, because if you think about like,

you know, if I, if I take a blank piece of paper and I cut it into like an image, the, the, the resolution in the world happens from losing stuff, not gaining. stuff, which is something that a lot of people don't, like, they think that the brain, like, oh, I'm, like, increasing my number of neurons, whereas, like, your brain rewires and it strengthens connections, it trunes, like pruning is actually a big part of the learning process. Interesting. I don't know that. The last thing about Alzheimer's, though, this we do have very good data about, is that heart health

is brain health. So a lot of the dementing processes that happen happen because the blood vessels in our brain get, like, clogged. And so is the blood vessels, in your brain get clogged, like you just can't support the health of your neurons, you can't clear waste products. And as you can't clear waste products, that shit builds up in your brain and your neurons start to die. So you're basically pooping in your own head. No, you're not pooping in your own head. You're unable to poop out of your own head. It's actually a subtle

but important. Your head is consipated. Yes. Far better. Yeah, right? Because it's the evacuation of the waste materials which we get bad at when you impact vascular health. So the problem with playing games is that if it comes with a negative impact to your cardiovascular health, like i.e. your weight or your diet or things like that, that's going to be more Alzheimer's prone, would be my judgment. So the simple matter is that I think, Jason, your theoretical instinct is correct, that if you continue to play games that are like new and interesting and like, you know, you give some like boomer game or VR, Yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

I was saying, I hope there's not someone out there who's still playing the same game for 50 years. I mean, so I'm one of these fucking nobs that loves that, though. Like, I've, you know, because I've been playing Dota since like, God, I don't even know how long. Yeah. And, and I mean, that's what I think is amazing. You know, it's like these games like chess. Like, you can play chess in your entire life. Mm-hmm.

And I love that, yeah, go ahead. I would say, I love chess. I love playing chess. I'm not very good at it, but I love it. I like the, it's almost like, it's like a, just a very simple war game. That's all it is. Battle game. Yeah.

Chess is great. Chess is great. I love chess. Yeah, so I was going to say, I'm not really sure. I mean, if you've got questions, I'm happy to answer them. I find myself being immensely curious about one detail of your personal life that you may not want to talk about. We can talk about Buddhism. or so I'm kind of curious what's your what's your relationship status I'm single how do you feel

about that um I'm at a time of my life where why I was just in a two-year relationship that ended in October and um it's because I don't know I just well I don't want to get into details why I didn't work out but um I don't feel like I'm a complete person yet so I don't feel like ready for a relationship feel like I'm genuinely not ready for a relationship. I think I have a lot of self-discovery I have to go through. I'm not the best person I want to be. And I feel like I have a long way to go to be the best person that I can be. So that's why I'm single.

And I don't know when that's going to change. I don't know. We'll see. So I'd like to challenge that for just a second. Okay. Yeah. So this is going to be a far short. shorter conversation that I thought it was going to be. But first of all, I appreciate you

offering the answer because it is a personal question. But the one thing I'd encourage you to keep in mind, Jason, is that you've been a YouTuber for far longer than you give yourself credit for. So you've been a person. So even amidst the chameleanness, I think you were always in there. And the reason I ask you about the relationship, I have no fucking idea how or why I thought this. But like, I encourage you to try to remember that and to acknowledge that in the same way that you were always you before you had the confidence to be you, you may be more ready for a relationship than you give yourself credit for.

Maybe. But my biggest fear is that I don't want to hurt someone. I'm very afraid of that. And I know that's just part of the game. people get hurt and people, I'm very afraid of hurting someone and be like, you know, all of a sudden, like, I don't feel it anymore. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not invested in this anymore. And that's my fear. I don't want, I hate, I don't want to hurt anyone. And that's my biggest fear. I really don't want to hurt anyone. I don't like hurting anyone, period. I don't like killing things. I don't like hurting things, spiders. I hate it. I don't like hurting anyone, period. Anyone or any, thing. And I guess it's part of the game. But that's the reason why I'm single is because I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone.

But at the same time, I maybe just got to toughen up. I'm like, okay, it's part of the game. People are going to get hurt. It's just part of the game. Don't do that. Well, I'm not trying to hurt someone, but I'm saying like. No, I think that's you becoming callous and that's you becoming something that you're not. Yeah.

I don't know. So, so Jason, this is. where like there's a middle road, right? Like you can, um, you want to get into this? No, no,

go for it. I want to hear it. No, no. No, I, okay. Yeah,

okay. I, I am, I'm open to everything. Like I said, I'm, I'm, I'm not going to be offended by anything.

Yeah. I know you're not going to be offended. I just may not be pleasant. Go for it. Be brutal. I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not going to hurt you.

I just just, you know, I'm not going to be offended. be brutal. It's just, it can be hard to face these things. So, so like, let's think a little bit about that. Okay. So, like, it's great that we have this backdrop of Buddhism. So, like, I want you to recognize that your desire to not hurt someone can sort of be a good thing. Like, so in, in Sanskrit, there's this phrase, a word ahimsa, which means nonviolence. And that nonviolence is, like, the highest ideal that, like, all other, like, moral values.

should like be subject to non-violence. Yeah. So I think that you're very naturally, like you, a hymsa is very important to you. So that's wonderful. And at the same time, you have to be careful because there's a difference between fear of hurting someone and a hymsa. There's a difference between ideal and an emotion. Like, like, so like, let me just give you an example. So I'm a doctor, right?

So like sometimes as a doctor, like, I think, to myself, so we take this oath when we graduate and it says, you know, like one of our, one of our ethical principles is non-malfeasance, which is to do no harm. Now, the problem is, like, I could prescribe a medication and they could have an allergic reaction and they could die, which is like the very opposite reason why I'm there. Yeah. And so then the question becomes, okay, so like, I'm really here to help people, like, I want to save lives, not end them. But every time, you know, if I'm a surgeon, every time I go into the operating room, there's a chance that the patient could die. And so that fear of not wanting a patient to die, like, cannot be my

guiding principle. It would be the worst surgeon in the world. Get out of here. Because I wouldn't be a surgeon. Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. I know where you're getting that. And so I think you've got to be really, really careful. And so I'm going to be kind of like, if anything, I'm going to be judgmental because I'm making a lot of a side. assumptions about your experience. Those aren't really based in reality because I haven't asked you any fucking questions.

But I think that you've got to be really careful about letting that fear control your actions. Right. Because I think caring is a wonderful thing for a relationship, but fear of hurting someone and like depriving yourself of the opportunity of giving them in yourself, everything else is like, you're like the surgeon that will never enter the opportunity. rain room. Right. No, I mean, I've thought about this because at the same time, I've only, I've been in like maybe like, I've only been in two relationships in my life and only one of them was serious. So at the same time, it's like maybe it's just one of those situations where I have

to just try it with someone else. Like you never know. Yeah. So I would encourage you to like notice that fear. Right. So like I've asked you to notice a couple things within yourself. Like and probably that that fear comes from sort of like a traumatic experience. Yeah, I mean, you know, breakups are scary. No one wants to do that. Yeah. And, well, I mean, it may even come from before the breakup. No, definitely not.

Well, because it's like it was the first time I truly fell in love with someone. So that's why. What was that like? It was wonderful. That was really nice. And I know you don't want to talk about it, but I can see you're getting emotional. Yeah. What are you feeling right now?

Um, I was just sad. You know, and the whole thing. But yeah. I'm just not going to say anything for a second. You don't have to speak. We're just going to sit with it. Let me know if you need a dick joke. Yeah, I'm good.

I'm good. Do you feel well-supported? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, my family's got my back. Everyone's got my back. So trying to figure out what to say. No, you're good.

You're good. Life is beautiful. So these are good things that go through. These are good things to talk about. I like talking about everything and everything. I'm not, I'm not scared to talk about things. So can we acknowledge that not everything is beautiful? Well, I think, yeah, you're right.

Not everything is beautiful. You see, yeah. So here's the next step. So Buddhism would say it's important to acknowledge that not everything is beautiful, right? Because what are the life is suffering? Yeah, life is suffering. Hey, I can bring it up again. I can give you a three because I just think it's so interesting because it just really resonates with me.

It really stuck with me and I just, I just felt it was so interesting because it's like if you want something in it's going to be painful. And whatever it is, whatever, because, I mean, you're a doctor. You probably want to school for like 10 years, right? So, yeah. It's going to be a painful, long process. So all life is suffering. The cause of all suffering is desire.

To remove the suffering, you have to remove the desire. Yeah. So here's what I'd say to you. Your desire to not hurt someone. Can't be your compass. It's going to keep you from living. Yeah. And it's good that you don't want to, you know, like a hymsa, I think is good.

But like, be careful about the emotions. I had a couple of other thoughts in there, but. Oh, yeah. So it's not everything in life is beautiful. And then here's the other thing that people don't really get is that it's okay for things to not be. beautiful. There's no problem with things not being beautiful. Right. And if I were to kind of like, because I think this is the mentality that a lot of people have. I'm just going to pick one thing from your background, which is like when you were growing up, I can imagine that it was hard

being a kid with ADHD. And sometimes it's even hard to acknowledge how hard it is because your parents are so supportive. And then, you know, growing up with your sister the way that she is. but I think that's a prime example of like she's studious and intelligent and I have ADHD and look at where you're I mean it's how I hope she's doing well but like I think ADHD it's interesting I didn't know you had ADHD but now that I think about your content makes perfect fucking sense you know I was I was talking to someone about this I actually think my ADHD gave me an advantage so basically um so here's a problem this is the entire reason why I started my YouTube. channel in the first place. I looked on YouTube and I went, there is no videos catered to ADHD people. And I want to change that.

And I, because I realized I couldn't pay attention more than like 30 seconds on a video. I was like, I want to click off. I want to do something else. I want to, so basically, that's why all the clips on my videos are about 30 seconds or less. And so I have this, basically,

when I'm editing my videos, I'll just be, I'll like watch it. and then as soon as I lose interest, I'll stop it. I'm like, I'm done. Like, that's where I'm going to cut the clip and then we're going to put in the video. And I think that's why a lot of people find it so, so. It's brilliant. So I know, because it's so addicting because like, as soon as like I start to peek at one video,

another one comes up. It's like that's the whole purpose. And it's literally built for ADHD, people like me. Because I can see it firsthand and go, as soon as I lose interest, as soon as I find it not interesting, the video will end there. And a lot of people get frustrated with that. They go, hey, the video is only, you know, you didn't show the full video. Like, it kept going.

I'm like, yeah, I know, but I lost interest. So, no. It's like a superpower. It really is. And I think this is where we talk a lot about, so in Eastern medicine, one of the key things is that, like, in the West, we sort of think of, like, minds is all one way. right? Like we don't like so in we know that for example, they're a different color like hair color right? We know there's like normal variants of hair color within the human population. But when

we think about mental characteristics, we don't think about normal variance. We sort of say that the mind is one way. And what happens is we diagnose some people as being ill because their mind, their mind's attention span is like short. So it's not adapted to sitting in a classroom for eight hours a day, but it is very, very adapted to sifting through tons of shit on the internet and finding the choicest pieces and then linking them together. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I tried to hire people to do my job and to help me out

and stuff, not to do my job, but to help me out and help find videos. It didn't work. People just couldn't find what I wanted. And so I was like, okay, this is, this is frustrating because I can't put my brain in someone else's head. So, yeah. And I'm sure other people, bro. Exactly. And like, I tried explaining like, hey, like, this is cool, but like, it's not good enough for daily dose of internet. So I take great pride in making sure I show the best clips because I want to put a really good product out there for everyone to enjoy. Yeah, that's cool. And so it's like, if it's just like a regular, like standard cat video, like, ooh, being cute. I'm not going to show that.

I'm not going to show that. It has to be something funny or unique about that cat video. I just don't show me a regular cat video. that's not going to fly. That's cool. Yeah, any questions for me? No, no. I mean, how long

do your podcast usually go? Usually, like, I'll ask people around the now mark. It's about 1.30. Sometimes they go long, like they tend to run anywhere between like one and two and a half hours.

Yeah. Usually around two. And it really just sort of depends on like the lifespan of the conversation. Yeah. Well, like I said, I mean, I'm, I love, I love talking. I love, I've talked. If you guys want to know more about me, but like, I don't know, I, I'm more of a,

I'm not really, I know we came into this conversation wanting to talk about, you know, what, you know, what, you know, what, like, one of the things that my, my stress levels are always high, almost because of this. because of my job. And because I want, that's part of the problem is that there's no job security here. There's no job security. If you don't do good,

if you don't do well enough, someone else will take your time. Someone else will take your slot. Just like regular TV, you know. If a, if a show is not performing well, someone else will watch a different show instead. So I want to make sure that I'm always going to put out

the best product I possibly can. and yeah so it's very stressful it's very stressful it's uh but it's it's a good stress it keeps me busy and the problem is that i'm so busy that time flies by so fast it flies by so fast like i can't believe it's already february yeah jason i think you're your touch too positive bro um so so like i mean i i recognize that it okay hold on all right so there's a lot to talk about here um you know I can kind of start to get into it and we can sort of discuss. But so I recognize that the stress drives you to perform. Right.

Right. But it also drives you to suffer. Yeah. I haven't had a day off since I started. So my last day off was probably 2015. Yeah. So when you say stress is a good thing, you know, like, it has advantages.

So I think about stress as like, do you play games? Yeah, I love playing games. You know blood mages? No, I've heard of it though. So like, like there are blood mages in random ass video games. And the idea behind a blood mage is like instead of eight,

like, so you know, some mages have MP mana, right? Magic points. Yeah. And so like you spend your MP to cast spells. And then like every now and then you'll have a game that has a blood Mage. And a bloodmage doesn't have mana. He uses HP to cast spells, usually a dude. Right? So it's like, you get the spell effect, but you pay for it. Right? You pay for it out of your own life, blood. And when I think about like content creators and like the stress of performing, I kind of see them as blood mages. Yeah. They're basically sacrificing their life and their free time to entertain other people. And that's fine and that's great because that's what they want to do. And it's, you know, especially like those. 24-hour live stream sort of things.

Like you're sacrificing your freedom, your life to other people. And it's fine and it's normal, I guess. But I'm just saying like that's part of the job. You're sacrificing your freedom and your livelihood and your life to other people. Yeah, but that's not fine. So is it normal? Sure. Okay.

Oh, so just because it's, yeah, just because it's normal doesn't mean it's okay. Right. Right. So, so, and this is the wild thing, right? So, like, we see this a lot. Like, y'all aren't the only ones that are blood mages. Like, other examples of blood mages are investment bankers, right? They're like, I'm going to just give my youth and my sweat and my stomach ulcers for the sake of this contract.

And you haven't, you haven't had a day off since 2015. Well, I fucking way that that's healthy. Well, it is, though, because the way I pace on my day is. very, so what I've done, what I decided to do for 2021 is to force myself to travel more. Okay. And to go do things. I get still work because what I do is like I can get all my work done on the plane. So I'm going to, I'm going to add, I'm going to disagree.

So I'm not saying that you haven't found a sustainable way to not take a day off in five years. Right. I'm, I so wouldn't call that healthy. I just, I mean, there's a, there's a. sure, you have it turned into a dumpster fire of a human being, and it sounds like you're actually doing really well for yourself. But like the standard of health is not being, like, it's not the absence of being a dumpster fire. Right? It sounds like you had a really fulfilling relationship for a couple of years. You have good relationships with your family. You connect with people.

You educate people. You enjoy things about your day. Maybe you've got a dog that you play with on a regular basis, like, who knows? Sure, I'm not saying that you haven't learned to adapt, and this is what we see with content creators, is that they come up with a system that functions. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that it's healthy. I don't feel unhealthy. That's the weird thing. I don't. I feel like if I took a day off, I'd be bored. Yeah. So this is where maybe I'm the one who needs to disagree with myself. So of all. All of the people that I think that can build a healthy lifestyle without taking a day off in five years, you may be at the top of the list. It may really be that the word is just so.

But here's the question. Anyway, so, but you still use the word stress to describe it. I mean, it's a good stress because you want to make sure, because I'm technically a performer, even though I'm doing anything. So you want to make sure you're at the top of the top of your game. Yeah. So this is where I think that there's like a lot to be learned. And thankfully, there are systems at place to, you know, help people stay at the top of their game and build a work-life balance. Right.

So this is where I think you really may be an outlier. But like a lot of like, you know, content creators feel burnt out. I don't get the sense that you feel burnt out. No. Like I said, I am. So here's the reason why. The reason why is because I think I'm a little crazy. Yeah, I think so too.

Thank you in the aspect that I know I'm not good at anything other than this. So I don't want to go back to my bank job. I know I can never do another regular job ever again because of this. And since I'm so insane about not going back there, I work so hard to make sure that doesn't happen. because I worked for a Fortune 500 company. I hated it every second of it. That was the worst, most depressing days of my life. Like, I would wake up and I'd be like,

I would be upset that I was still alive. I would be like, why is this my life? I cannot believe this is my life. I'd wake up every day miserable. Yes. And that is not my situation right now. Jason, what I think makes you an outlier is you have, you have somehow managed to describe gratitude and desperation with one rolled up emotion.

What you described there is both abject to desperation and endless gratitude. Yeah, yeah, exactly, because I don't think I would be the person that I am on YouTube if I didn't have that bank job first. Because if you have everything handed to you on a silver platter, you're never going to know if you're always what, right? If you're always winning, you're not going to, I think failing is very important in the formation of someone's personality and the formation of someone's morals and how they go about their life. Yeah, I think that that's also, I sort of found the same thing.

So when I started medical school, I had failed a lot. Yeah. And I found that it really made med school like really easy. what is like well because so so I was with a group of kids who were presumably sort of like your sister right so they were like valedictorian of their high school top of their class in college like the average college GPA for like premeds is like 3.8 or 3.7 or something right so like maybe a B here or there but like all A's highly motivated smart kids top of their class a disciplined study super hard and then there was me I kind of scrape in. And you look like you had a question. No, I was like, so you're probably on, so it doesn't really matter because you're, you're on the same level now as everyone else, like same level.

Yeah, you, you might have started off in a different place. Sure, sure. That's one way to think about it. But I actually think my level was way better than their level. Because I had known what it was like to fail, to like really fail. So one of my friends, um, was at Harvard Law School and I asked him, like, you know, how's your, I was excited for him. So his first semester ended and we were kind of catching up. And I was like, you know, how is it?

And he's like, it's awful. I was like, what do you mean? It's awful. Like, you know, everyone's super depressed. And I was like, what do you mean? Everyone's super depressed. I thought like everyone wanted to go there. And then he said something he's super wise guy. Like, not like, not a wise guy, but he's like actually like wisdom. He has a wisdom. And he was like, one of the worst things you can do to a child, a person. is like to take a group of people who have always been the best and suddenly make them average. Oh, yeah. That's true. And that's what med school is sort of like.

And then like suddenly these kids, because they felt like kids to me. I mean, I was four years older than them. So, you know, not really. It's like 27, 28 and they were like 22, 23. And they would get like a B and it would be like devastating. Devastating. Or, you know, they'd get some feedback and a doctor would be like, hey, like, you really need to do a better job with, you know, your auscultation and listening to heart sounds because this is like, because it's not just book knowledge. It's like, you know. Yeah. I'm not really. Sorry, I was sorry, I'm kind of getting random here, but like, for people, for doctors that, you know, graduated 30 years ago, do they have to take like mandatory courses to catch up on all the new, like, medical? knowledge that comes out? Yes, they do.

Okay. So it's like mandatory. Yes, it's mandatory. So there's a certain amount of continuing medical education that you have to do to maintain your license, I believe. So technically you're always in medical school if you're a doctor. Yes, you're damn right. There was one interesting statistic that 50% of what you know, 50% of what you learned during medical school will be replaced by the end of medical school. Wow. I don't think the statistic is quite that high because, you know, like, you learn things like where the heart is in the body and that shit ain't going to change. You know, there is some weird cardiac inversus or something where people have our heart on the right side of their body. But generally speaking, like, you know, the location of the heart isn't going to change.

Yeah. But, but, you know, there's, there are lots of advances and things like that. Anyway, kind of going back to, I don't know why I was. telling the story, but I'll finish it now. But I think, you know, oh, you were talking about how you wouldn't be who you are today unless you worked at the bank. And so I kind of felt the same way that in med school, it was sort of easy because like people would kind of get yelled at by, or not even get yelled at. They would just be told publicly that they made a mistake. And like they don't even know what failure looks like. So it feels like failure to them. I'm like,

this is nothing. Yeah. I don't think people really truly understand how important it is to fail. Like if you, if you know, if you're just given everything, you're not going to learn anything. You have to learn in order to appreciate in order to appreciate what you have. And that's why a lot of people, that's why I love ragged or riches stories, you know, a poor guy, went up and became a millionaire in the NBA, like or something like that. I just love stories like that because they are, and they always give back to the community in some sort of way. Because, like, I know where I came from. My community was very rough.

It was whatever. And then they give back. And it's beautiful because they understand the pain. You know, it's not, it's beautiful. Yeah. I mean, giving back is why we're here on Twitch today. So I was like, man, there were a bunch of nobs. Look at all these fucking nobs that are just like me.

Yeah. And failing. I still remember, you know, going to a Christmas party in my hometown where I met people that I had gone to call. Like, I mean, so we were in high school together and we all went to college. we were all pre-med. And so the funny thing was they were like done with medical school. And they were going off to be like surgeons and ophthalmologists and stuff like that. And I went to this Christmas party.

And then, you know, we were all catching up because we hadn't seen each other in years. And I was like, oh, what are you doing? They're like, yeah, I'm going to go be like a E&T surgeon. I was like, cool. And they're like, what are you up to? And I was like, I'm applying to medical school. We're like the same age, right? Yeah.

And so it can feel bad, but it's like it makes you who you are. Right. Right. And I think that like this kind of goes back to this idea of beautiful, not beautiful, comparing ego. You know, the only time you're going to feel insufficient is when you hold up a standard that isn't yourself. Well, it's funny how my standards have changed. Like back when I was a very small YouTube channel, I was like, oh my gosh, a million views of video. Yes.

awesome. It's like, I'm not saying it's like it's cocky, but it's like your, your, your idea of success is like any business or you always want to see improvement in any sort of business or whatever. And if you don't, you're going, oh my gosh, what's going on? What's happening? Like, steady for businesses is good, but ultimately what they want to do is they want to grow. And I think the same thing is with YouTubers. They want to constantly be growing. They want to constantly be better. Because if they're not, they go, what am I doing wrong? Yeah, so that's where Jason, to be honest, I mean, so like as an organization, we support content creators through this kind of stuff. So it's a lot of work that I mean, in my private practice, I work with a lot of, you know, in my clinic, I work with a lot of like people who are like obsessed with being the best.

Yeah. And we sort of teach them, you know, how to recalibrate a little bit, how to like let go some of that stress. So I think a good example is like the nuance between Ahimsa in the field. of not wanting to hurt someone. Right. And how both of those things may sound the same, but one is actually going to like keep you from living life. And one is going to like let you live life with like a strong guiding compass that actually gives you strength. Right.

You know, and so like to enter every relationship. So one is going to keep you from a relationship. And the other is going to allow you to enter into a relationship with this idea that like, I'm going to do my best not to hurt this person. well i mean not like not hurt them physically hurt them but like you know hurt their feelings you know i know yeah i just want to clarify youtube drama i would be really surprised on maybe this is just my naivete but i'm pretty sure everyone knows we're not talking about physical abuse or even being toxic just like you know sometimes things don't work out and people are sad yeah i'm pretty sure that's what we're all talking about i just want to make sure

Sorry if I feel like a little uncomfortable because I am, but that's just because I'm like that with most new people. What's like, I mean. Yeah, that's, I think you should feel uncomfortable. Well, I don't know. Because I'm like, I know how I'm acting right now and I feel like I'm not completely relaxed. What's wrong with that? I don't know. Because I want to, I want to show kind of show the real me, but it's, I almost feel like it's not the real me.

because it's like nervous it's like nervous me sure so that's we love nervous you all right thank you we love relaxed you too right you never really though and we've never seen relaxed you not really okay we love you anyway well i know when i was in that zoom call with like a bunch of other YouTubers I was I was kind of relaxed there but but I don't know why it was maybe because there's so many people I didn't feel like I need to um like I kind of just like could just like say my thing and then back up in the crowd. So Jason, we've kind of touched on this a couple times.

Remember, so Buddhism says not all things are beautiful, but that beauty is not worth more than ugly. Yeah. That's the other piece of the equation. So this is where like, I'll take you however you are. If you're nervous, that's fine. If you don't want to be on camera, that's fine. No, no, no, it's not the camera.

It's just, no, I know. I'm just using it as an example of like you're allowed to be whatever you are. You're allowed to be fearful. You're allowed to be anxious. You're allowed to be happy. You're allowed to be positive. You're allowed to lie. We had this dude come on stream a couple weeks ago.

Fucking just lied about everything. Oh, yeah. I don't know. And that's fine too. Right? Like, it's like it's okay to like be exactly where you are. You know, I used to be a crazy liar when I was growing up. I used to lie all the time.

I lied all the time. And then I think around college is when I stopped. because I went, lying is getting me in more trouble and causing more stress in my life than I need. I'm like, if I just tell the truth, I usually get in less trouble. Also, it's just a burden off my chest. Just the stress of constantly holding on to that, that lie for the rest of my life was just like, just get this off my chest. So it's crazy how that changed because I used to be such a liar. I used to lie about everything.

And I'm like, if I lie, I'll be like, I'll feel horrible about it. And then I'll be like, okay, I'm sorry. That wasn't true. I'll bring it up. Yeah. So, like, so yogis and I don't know if really Buddhism says this, but they say that a lot of your success probably comes from the fact that you don't lie. So this is also where, this is kind of interesting.

So there's another hymsa. There's another phrase satya, which means truthfulness. The interesting thing is that a lot of people are like, oh, I'm into radical honesty, which means I'm going to be an asshole and tell people what I think about how I'm going to be they are. And so the interesting thing is that that it. in sort of this Eastern system of morality, Satya is actually like secondary to a HMSA. So if truth hurts people, like that's, you shouldn't say it.

Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, you know, Jason, I think there's a lot to your journey that I think is really maps on to like spiritual growth and success. Sort of this model of like, you know, adopting these principles like nonviolence, truthfulness, understanding who you are, letting yourself become who you are. Yeah. You know, and you kind of make these claims like you didn't really have a personality in high school. And I know you felt that way, but I think you were there just under the surface. You're always there.

Right. Yeah, that's true. And even now when it comes to stress and the impacts of social media and stuff like that, I think going back to kind of science and kind of tying things up where we started. So, you know, it's been my experience. that there aren't a whole bunch of studies, but we do have a ton of useful clinical data. So we know, like, how to help people develop healthy social media hygiene.

We know how to help people deal with stress and burnout and things like that. So we have, like, the reason that we exist as an organization is because, like, we're trying to help people with these issues that, you know, if you go to a therapist and you ask them, like, I don't know what to do about my TikTok usage. like hopefully they'll do a good job, but a lot of them don't, right? Because it's so brand new also. Exactly. So this is where things like imposter syndrome, burnout, dealing with stress, being on this like everlasting treadmill of success, right? Like you guys, you guys win battles after battles after battles, but you never win the war.

Like that's what it's like to be a content creator, is to have victory after victory after victory and like never be able to stop fighting. Yeah, I guess. I feel like I'm just kind of competing against myself though. I got it because I like look back at videos that I made five months ago and I cringe at things. I go, come on. Do I really do that?

I got to do better. That's part of the reason that I think you're healthier, Jason, than a lot of content creators, or at least in this aspect. Is that, you know, the more, so it's easier to compare your, it's less damn, it's less suffering for your ego when you compare to your former self as opposed to when you compare other content creators. And this is where you don't stream on Twitch, right? No.

No. Okay. So this is where we actually recently have been working with Twitch to actually support their content creators through stuff like this. And the program seems to be going really well. But, you know, so I don't think that that's available to you, but that's something we're going have to think about, obviously. I mean.

Anyway, let me, let me just think about that. I feel kind of bad now. About what? About not being able to support you in a more substantial way. Oh, I'm fine. No, I'm good. I know you're good. I know you're good.

But I'm still allowed to feel bad even if you're okay, right? Okay. I don't know what's to feel about, feel bad about. I mean, yeah, it's like I said, it's just, it's just the grind baby. it's the grind. You gotta do what you got to do. And I think it all stems from the PTSD of literally not being good at anything in my life.

So it's just, it's like, it's kind of like you have someone who is raised in extreme poverty in their entire life and all of a sudden you give them all the food in the world. They're going to finish the plate and they're going to constantly save food, constantly save food because they don't know, they're so inbred with the idea that they don't know when their next meal is going to arrive.

I'm kind of like the same way. Yeah. But Jason, Jason, it comes down to suffering, man. Yeah. Right? Because here is someone who has all the food in the world and they still suffer. Right. So I understand that, you know, whipping yourself towards success because of the desperation,

like I said, some weird, you know, real cocktail of like coffee and alcohol of like desperation and gratitude all rolled in. I've never heard any. I mean, it's brilliant because it's. like 50% desperation, 50% gratitude. And I know you're a resilient guy, so you manage it well. But there's a part of me that says that, like, you know, that kid is going to be a little bit more peaceful if they didn't hoard food. Right.

And I think there's a way for you to like continue being successful without being driven by like the fear of going back to where you were. Like I also have a past that. drives me forward. But I don't think I'm ever going to be back to, you know, like, no one can take it away from me. Like, even if I lose my job, lose my license or whatever, like, I'm going to be a doctor because that's what I am. I'm going to be me. And so I think that there is a, there is actually like a, I think there's a road forward for you. I'm not saying you're in a bad place by any means. But I think if you really want to understand Buddhism, like, there's always one step

closer to freedom from suffering. And I think the problem with your step is that it involves actually giving up something that has become very adaptive for you. Right. Yeah. What would mean adaptive? Well, because it's what makes you successful. I guess, yeah. The never wanting to be at the bank again and that fear that pushes you to not take a day off in five years, years, pushes you to, you have what, like 10 million subscribers on YouTube? I'm almost at 11, yeah. Right? And so, like, who can say that you're playing the game wrong?

Like, you're playing the game fantastically. And I'm going to venture that there's a better way to play it because there's still some suffering there. Yeah. You know, it's kind of goofy because, like, I was so lazy about everything in my life. And I was so lazy. I didn't want to, I did the bare minimum for everything. Even when I worked at the bank, I did the bare minimum.

And then all of a sudden, you give me something that I'm actually genuinely good at, something I know about, I'm more driven than I've ever been my life. Dude, I love that you said that because that's like, that's what I've been trying to explain to like our community is that they describe themselves as like lazy and undisciplined, right? They're like, oh, I'm such a fuck up. And like this is, we see this actually in our coaches. So it was interesting. We had a, we had a really good session yesterday with these parents. and then like the parents were talking about how their kids were like the kids thought that they were worthless. They were like, yeah, I'm so worthless. I'm such a screw up. You know, I can't

succeed at anything. And like, like our coach was like, yeah, that used to be me. Like I used to feel that way. And then I started coaching. And now it's like, I love it. Like, you know, I'm independent. Like I, you know, I do like I wake up every day and I like make the world a better place. And it's awesome. And I'm not lazy. I'm not undisciplined. You got you got to find something that that inspires you. You have to have something to look forward to the next day every day. You have to look forward to something, something that inspires you. Like even if it's like, that's why a lot of people, you know, like with children, if they have children, they'll be inspired to work hard for their child.

Like that their child literally inspires them. Like where's that? Where's that from the Simpsons? You know he's got that picture of a, why can I think is his child's name. But, you know, when he's working, he's thinking about his little baby. Yeah. Absolutely. Listen, Jason, do you, are you interested in meditation at all?

I tried it. It was the most difficult thing I've ever attempted my life. It was so hard. I couldn't. So, you can go on. Sorry. It's so hard. Yeah.

What was hard about it? So, like, just not thinking about anything is the most difficult thing in the world. That's not what meditation is, but okay. Well, well, that's the goal. The goal is to just sit there, focus on your breath and all that stuff. But to really just block out everything else, all the outside world and just focus on, you know, simple breathing tactics is hard. It's very hard. Yeah.

So I think this is where, you know, especially for people who have ADHD, I recommend particular. meditations. Yeah. Because slowing down your mind is not going to work for you. So entering a no-mind state involves speeding it up. So if you have ADHD, the kinds of meditation techniques that I recommend, so if we say like, you're saying that the goal of meditation is a no-mind state, right? Yeah, I guess.

Okay. So sure, that's a good way to put it. So like if we think about a no-mind state, it's a mind that's still, right? Okay. And so what you're saying is I have a lot of trouble staying still. Well, it's not about the staying still. Like, I can sit there. I just get bored.

I know. We're talking about your mind. Your mind staying still. Yeah. Right? So it's hard for your mind to stay still. So there are two ways to get a mind to stay still. One is like telling it to stay still.

And you're like, don't move. Stay right there. No moving. And then your mind is like, fuck that. I'm going to go do all this cool stuff. the other way to get your mind to stay still is to have it run instead of telling it to be still

actually pushing it to move as fast as it can you run buddy you run run run run go mind go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go and at the end of that running it'll naturally be still yeah does that make sense yeah I mean I love working out I work out every day it's one of my favorite things I do if I don't work out I feel horrible I feel angry I feel like

I don't know. I just feel, I don't feel good. So I always feel better after I work out. I just feel like a better, happier person. It's like meditation in its own way. Yes. So I think that that's a good form of meditation like physical exercise. Since I can't, if you are willing, if you're open to trying something, I'm going to try to give you. Let me just think about what we can do because my favorite ADHD meditations you can't do over the internet.

But I can try to come up with something that we can try. Sure. Just may hit or miss. sure let me just think about this oh yeah i've got a good one okay can you um can you stand sure let me put my standing desk up okay going up i'm gonna have to stand too all right so we i can't hear you without my headphones because i don't have speakers okay so why don't you just hang hang tight there for a second uh i'm gonna have to mute the desktop audio for a second okay so don't we can't hear you either

okay, I'm going to demonstrate. Oh, shit. How am I going to do this? Because I do want to... You're standing, right? But you can stand there comfortably? Okay, cool. I can still walk you through this.

Okay, so this is what we're going to do. Right. So, let's do this. You can stand next to your computer. It's totally fine. All right. What we're going to do... Oh, I got to move this one too.

So, I'm going to say, stand like this. Okay, so I've got... I've got my knee. I don't know if I... Yep. Okay. And I want you to close your eyes.

Just stay stable. And now I want you to tell me what... Eyes closed. Tell me what you had for breakfast this morning. I didn't eat breakfast. I don't eat breakfast. What did you have the day before? Stay still.

It's hard to be down someone, but... It's, well, last night for dinner, I had some sort of pasta that was really yummy. Okay, so now I want you to stop talking and just focus on staying still. What do you notice? The balance. Good. I didn't do this, though. Yep.

You can search like a little bit. Can I open my eyes? Yes, open your eyes. That's much easier. I have my eye open is a lot easier. Yep. Okay, so now tell me about what you ate two days ago. What I eat you is a prop?

Oh, for dinner, what I have? I have no idea. There's probably some sort of pasta or something. I have no idea. I have something called, I got, I recently got this, like, food service thing. It's really nice called Tuvala oven. So it's like, it seems like oven-cooked meals, but it's like the liver. It's really cool.

Okay. So I want you to now close your eyes for a moment, and let's stop talking. And I want you to notice the difficult. Colty? It's hard to balance. Just like, close my... Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Easy road.

Okay, good. Close. When you need to, you can open. Close again. Open. Okay, you can relax for a moment. So let's talk about this, okay? So, it gets hot...

Oh, I guess people can't hear you because I'm muted. So, when your eyes were closed, When your eyes were open, what were you able to think about? I don't know. I wasn't really thinking of anything. So you were answering my questions? Yeah, I was answering your questions, but I really wasn't thinking of anything.

Okay. And when your eyes were closed, what were you thinking about? Well, the questions you asked me, I was struggling with. And then I was focused on trying to balance. So it was really hard. Yeah. What was your mind doing? Um, like what was it thinking about?

Yeah. I don't, I don't think it was really thinking much about anything because it was. Oh, so the physical activity, the was a distraction, got it. So let's understand. Okay. Let's be precise with our language. Okay. So first thing.

What is the mind? The mind is the presence of thoughts. Yeah. right? So when you're ADHD, like when people say I'm ADHD, what does that mean practically? It means that their mind thinks all kinds of random things. And so you're like, meditation is the hardest thing in the world because I can't get my mind to focus on one thing. That's why it's hard. Yeah. And yet, in 60 seconds, you have managed to get your mind to not think about anything. When was the last time you didn't think about anything?

It's been a while, but yeah, it's been a while. Yeah. Right? So meditation for you, so meditation starts with one pointedness of the mind, focusing all of your attention on one thing. Now, your problem is that you fucking probably went to some mindfulness person who told you to observe your breath. And you're like, your mind is like, fuck that. So what we're going to do is try to give your mind as many things to jump. as possible.

Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with you that you have trouble balancing with your eyes closed. That's just our body has three balancing mechanisms. I cite are dorsal columns, which is like proprioception. And then like part of our ear canal. Yeah. We have a vestibular apparatus. And so when you take one of those away, balancing becomes a lot harder.

So what I did is like try to create a scenario where like your mind has. has no choice. That's cool. To focus on one thing because it's like, I can't fucking talk about what I ate because I'm busy right now. Yeah. Right? And so for you, what you need to do is like, and that's what I mean by making your mind run. Where like your mind is like, no, this is easy for me.

And I'm like, okay, fine. Let's bump up the difficulty, baby. Let's go as hard as you can go, like max difficulty. So in your case, I think this is a balancing exercise. Now, the tricky thing is as you get better at balancing, as your body learns, your mind is going to get bored again. Right. Okay, so you can do this for a little while. And then you've got to find something different.

Yes. And this is why advanced yoga postures exist. People don't understand this. Yoga has nothing to do with your body. I mean, it has something to do with body, but it's not really about body. The reason that people do yoga postures is because the posture should bring. your attention to the present. It should demand your attention. That's why you start with easy ones. And as those get easy, you get more bendy because the bendier you get, the more of your mental

attention it demands. It's so exhausting. I didn't edit yoga like twice in my life. It's so exhausting. You're just like mentally exhausted afterwards. Yes. That's the point. It's a mental activity, not a physical one. So in your case, you can do this business, you know, this, arms above your head and balancing on one foot. And then like, like what you want to do is like basically like make it hard on yourself. So in your case, so for some people asking them questions becomes easier or harder.

In your case, it seems like eyes is sufficient. So eyes open. If your eyes are open, it becomes easy and then your mind is going to start to wonder. Yeah. And then eyes closed. Oh shit.

Panic mode. Panic mode. We got to focus. Everybody on board. all the attention in one place. And it's automatic. If meditation is hard for you, that means that you're not learning it the right way. Meditation isn't supposed to be hard.

It's supposed to be easy. That was easy. Thank you. Yeah. So give that a shot. And then, you know, you can try practicing that and other kinds of physical postures. And, you know, maybe we ever meet again or whatever. Like, if you have other questions, we'll have to figure out some way to, like, teach you

lesson number two. sure cool um any questions about the meditation practice or any any kind of last thoughts or comments no i'm good this was this was very fun thank you for inviting me thank you for coming on man i i really really appreciate it's been absolutely a pleasure to talk to you yeah yeah um yeah a bunch of streamers recommended and that i i i join in everything so yeah it was wonderful yeah thank you very much and you guys just want to because I know we're streaming on Twitch but do you want to tell us just I think pretty much everyone knows who you are but for the few people that may not know who you are and what you do yeah I'm I'm a daily dose of internet on on YouTube and I have

almost 11 million subscribers I make I take the best trending videos from around the world and I put them all into one video twice a week that's only about three minutes long so I only need six minutes of your attention once a week. I think about you as the NPR of memes. Yeah, yeah, it's because I want to be, I want to be as soon as you do something. So the reason why everything is very family-friendly is because as soon as you do something, you're basically alienating an audience as soon as you swear, as soon as you do anything. So I try to.

I try to form it in a way that's family-friendly but doesn't feel family-friendly. I could take some pointers from you on that. So people are asking to say the line. What does that mean? That's the end of the stream. I really hope you enjoyed. And I'll see you guys again very, very soon. Later.

Thanks, man. Take care of Jason. All, bye, Dr. Kay. Thank you. Bye. Yeah. So that was fun. He's a cool guy.

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