HealthyGamerGG - Mizkif

Episode Date: February 22, 2020

How to Deal with ADHD with Mizkif. Stream Schedule: https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life-changing decisions can be hard, or they can be flexible, inclusive, and best of all, rewarding. Earn your master's in computer science, data science, or information systems at Northeastern University in the San Francisco Bay Area. No matter your experience, earn your degree, plus the desirable Bay Area is a smaller collaborative campus, but connected to the huge Northeastern University. Discover the different technology degrees available. visit northeastern.edu slash pathways to tech. All right. Hey man.

So first of all, I wanted to apologize for having to cancel on you a couple of times and just being like literally unable to speak. Oh, no, it's fine. That's fine. So sorry about that, but we're here now. And so thanks for coming on.

Yeah, I'm nervous. Okay, what are you nervous about? Talking about ADHD in front of everybody because it's, I don't know, which is something I don't like to talk about. Well, we don't have to talk about ADHD. No, I think it's almost like I want to. Okay.

I mean, I turn off both chats, so I'm trying to almost pretend that it's just you and me talking. Okay. I want to talk about ADHD because it's probably the thing that, to me, is the most important to fix. Okay. Because I took out of all for six years, and I know what it's like to almost not have ADHD,

but I feel like it's, this might sound weird, but I feel like it's almost getting worse. Okay. And I think it has to do partially with being on the internet, having three monitors. Sure. Seeing Twitch chat all day, not reading, not doing these things. But I really don't know how to fix it, and it's, it's scaring me. Can you hold on?

I feel like just one second. Sorry. Yeah, sure. Hello? It's just reset Discord. Okay. Sorry, Mitch. Give me a second, okay?

All right. Let's just go with it. Sorry about that. That's okay. So you were saying that you feel like your ADHD is getting worse? Yeah, and I feel like I'm genuinely getting dumber. Like, it scares me. Like today, for an example, I woke up to get cereal and I ate the cereal, was walking around my room doing stuff.

I don't remember what I was doing, but I left the refrigerator open. And I do that almost every single day. and it's embarrassing because I don't want my roommates to see how dumb I could really be and how much I forget. So I do this kind of stuff all the time. So it sounds like when you have an attentional problem, it sounds like you conflate or like you sort of lump that in with intelligence or stupidity. Well, it's like the thing is even with your sentence that you just said, I dazed out. Okay, that's okay. It's spaced out.

So it sounds like when you space out, you think that that's like you feel stupid. You feel like it's an idea. Yeah, all the time. Okay. Can I ask you how old you are? 25. And have you been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD? Yeah.

How old? At 16. At 16. Okay. And you said you were on Adderall for a while? Like six years. And six years. So when were you first put on Adderall?

I was first put on Adderall at 16. And is there a particular reason you stopped three years ago? I, well, I had a heart virus and the, if I kept taking it, there was a higher risk of me getting the heart virus again. So I pretty much was told you can either take it and risk yourself dying or you should stop taking it. So I stopped taking it. And it, I don't know. I don't know if it was, I don't know. It's weird to be off because I know what it's like to be on Adderall and it was euphoric.

Like I remember walking around having euphoric feelings being like, oh my God, like this is what, this is the best feeling over had in my life. Like the best feeling ever had of my life was on Adderall going to a doctor's office. That was the best feeling I ever had. Okay. And I don't know. It's just weird to be off of it. And I just want to not. I like having ADHD.

I think creatively it helps a lot, but I just want to try to be able to fix it and not think all the time of just 20 different things because my brain just goes everywhere and it really is bad. Like me even just telling you the sentence, I'm thinking of the most random shit. Like I'm thinking of my friend's house drinking alcohol in July of like 2016. Okay. For no reason. Can I just think for a second? Okay. I'm just making a list of talking points.

Okay. You feel like it's getting worse, right? Yes. What do you mean by that? I just think it's harder for me to focus on things. I think, like, even just talking to my girlfriend, it's a lot of times I daze out. A lot of times, and it's not just because she's saying stuff that isn't interesting to me.

I just can't focus on what she's trying to tell me. And she'll say something to me and be like, Matt, I told you that five minutes ago. And I already forgot. Okay. And I hate that. I hate that I can't remember things. I hate that I can't focus on things. I hate that my brain is always everywhere. Okay. That I always have to get explained to everything. It's horrible. And what effect did the Adderall have on this stuff?

The Adderall didn't really necessarily make me, it didn't make me remember as, I guess it did kind of make me remember more, but it just made me be able to focus more on what people are trying to say. So I was able to I could feel like the cogwheels turning Is where it's it sounds Yeah sure In my brain I felt I was able to listen to people a lot more Understand what they're trying to say

And want to talk to them more about stuff Okay When an ADHD nowadays I just want to not listen to what people say And shut up and just sit there And I don't know Okay Okay so Ms. Kiff

Have you watched any of our streams before? I tried to watch some of them, but then I started playing like other games or something. Okay, no problem. So sometimes I talk to people about their feelings. In your case, I would like to talk to you about that, but I think that there are two different paths we can go. One is to talk about your experience of ADHD and also some amount of like how you hate it and how I think by extension maybe you hate or frustrated with yourself or being this way. Right. So that's going to be like a little bit more emotional or personal. The other thing that we can talk about is like what is ADD, like what's

happening in your mind, and what are the things that make whatever is happening in your mind worse or better, and what are the things that you can do to potentially like even improve it over time? Is it weird if I go grab a piece of paper? No, not at all. I'll bet back a piece of paper. Yeah, this is going to be a challenge because I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm an academic. And as academics, we like to talk really, really long. Like, we just like to just keep going. So he's doing well. He's coping, managing. Okay. Okay. What does an academic mean? Um, so I, I have a faculty position. So I teach. And I'm in my ivory tower. So I get in front of groups of people and I just open my mouth and I keep talking until

they're all asleep. Oh. So you're teaching. Yes. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty much part of the job. Yes. Wait, which job? Twitch streamer? Being a teacher.

No, just talking until people fall asleep. Or an ASMR, Twitch streamer. Either of. I, uh, where's a pen? Um, I lost my pen. Who would have thought? Um,

I guess I can, maybe, maybe my Twitch chat. I always learn. learn better when I write. Good. Let's talk about why that is. Very good.

I don't know. Why you get so excited. Very good observation. Why did you just get so excited about that? Is it just an interesting thing that I know about myself? No, I think it's a very important principle that if we understand, you'll better understand how your mind works and how to get it to do the things that you want. It's a really important data point to know.

Okay. I also, if in terms of like things that make me remember more, colors. Yeah. Like I like, I like vibrant colors, I feel, make me remember a lot more. Did you find a pen? I have found a blue marker. Okay. So, it looks like a crayon.

Yeah, maybe this thing won't work. I'm sorry if I'm, I think I'm wasting your time. Hold on. I'm pretty sure it's a crayon. I know, I guess my kids have the same crayons. they have the little nub that lets them go up and down. Okay, I found a pencil. Strong work.

Okay, so I was going to say we can talk about your feelings and what it's like to have ADD and your frustrations and things like that. Or we can talk about understanding what you mean by ADD, because I think it's more complicated than just ADD. So, or not complicated. There's a broader, it's not just an illness. Your mind is functioning in a particular way. So would you like to learn how your mind works or would you like to talk about it? about the personal impact of having a mind that works like that. The first one.

Okay. So help us understand what you mean by ADD. When I think of ADD, I think of almost like, if I, I can like draw it. Like, let's say this is what reality is, right? but for some reason when I'm with ADHD it's almost like this is going to sound so weird

um this is how I really think of reality where it's like this is what reality is but I go in such a trance of just thinking of other thoughts that my brain starts to go different ways and I start really having a different person like I'm like just talking to you right now I'm thinking of the Cheetos guy

for what read there's no Cheetos around me, but I just words or I don't know why my brain goes this way, but I start thinking of other things. Okay, good. Good observation. Yeah, this is how I would perceive like ADHD. Okay, that's, that's very good. So that's something that we call a tangential kind of thought process where your mind starts here and then it ends up going this way and this way and this way and this way. And by the end of it, you're like far away from where you started. Right. So your mind, you notice that your experience of your mind tends to have like a lot of randomness to it.

Yeah. And I do like the randomness a lot because it's what makes me me. Like my friend Dave said to me one day, he said, you have the best word association I've ever seen in my entire life. And that's what makes me, I believe, in a lot of ways, funny. Where I will hear someone say a word, pick it out, and then think of an abstract thought which makes a joke. And they're like, wow, that was funny.

Or, you know, so I do like a part of my ADHD a lot. But a lot of it is, it sucks. Like, I can't even, I can't do basic things. I can't do it. It's very difficult, though, to just, like, call my mom or really try to remember anything. Yes. It's painful. So we're going to talk about that, okay?

So the first thing that I want to do is reframe ADD to something called a Vata mind. So Vata is the son. script word for one of these things called a dosha's, but I want you to think about it like the element of wind. Do you play RPGs? No. So you have like a mind that's like the wind. So the wind... Well, I play wow.

Sure. So like, you know how they're like different elements, right? So like in different games. And then like elements have properties. So a wind mind is one that blows really hard in one direction. And then like the wind, it can kind of stop, right? There's a gust of wind and then there's nothing. And then sometimes. the wind blows this way, sometimes the wind blows that way. Sometimes it stops. Sometimes it starts again.

That's kind of what your mind is like. It's like all these different gusts of wind. It's not like a mind like fire, which is sort of steady and stable and like burns in a consistent way. It's also not like water, which sort of flows consistently in a particular direction. It goes all over the place. Right? Yeah, that's actually a good way. Yeah, I like that.

So the first thing to understand is that each of these mind types is adaptive in some ways, but maladaptive in other ways. So Charles Darwin studied finches, which are little birds. And what he noticed is that they have different kinds of beaks. Some beaks are very like long and pointed, and some beaks are like short and powerful. and so long and pointed beaks aren't better or worse than short and powerful beaks. The long pointed beaks can get into holes and like find caterpillars and stuff, whereas the short powerful beaks can like crunch seats. With me?

Which one is better? They both are good. Exactly. So the first thing to understand is that the Vata mind, your mind is good at some things and it's bad at other things. Right? So you know. Do you think that's with everybody? Or do you think that's just with ADHD people?

No, I think it's with everyone. So fire minds have some strengths and weaknesses. Water minds have some strengths and weaknesses. Wind minds have some strengths and weaknesses. So your strength, and so this is the interesting, this is what I don't like about the pathology system. So when we say you have an illness, we miss out on the fact of something very important that you notice,

which is that your mind is actually better than other people at some things. Like you're funnier, your word association, is good. You're dynamic. You're actually a good entertainer because no one knows what they're going to get when they watch you on stream. It's probably instrumental to a lot of your success. And it is a big part of a lot of your failure. You see that? So we just have to understand that this is how your mind works. And there are some things you're going to be good at and some things you're going to be bad at. And the key to becoming successful is to understand, okay, what can we capitalize, what can we like support about the way that my mind is and what do we need to like account for or like

kind of like what are the things that my mind sucks at and how do we make that better with me okay so the first thing is that generally speaking your ability your mind's ability to focus on one thing at a time changes over the course of your lifespan right so like like let's think about what's the difference between the mind of a five-year-old, a 15-year-old, a 25-year-old, and a 35-year-old? Let's start with 5- and 15. What's a 5-year-old's mind like? Not strong. What do you mean?

Or just go-go-goug-gaga? I mean, I don't know. Like, they just, they're... Yes, very good. Pretty much like how I am nowadays. Yep. So what is that? Let's define that.

Beautifully put. they just will be thinking of something and then just think of something else and see something shiny and run away. Absolutely, right? So their mind wanders a lot. The attention of their mind is not focused on one thing for a long period of time. So what changes when you're 15? Instead of random things, it starts becoming women's boobs. Sure. So there's more focus, right? And so like sometimes there are a particular. particular objects that your mind can retain its focus on. So you noticed another really important thing, which is that your mind's ability to focus is not the same. It can be subject dependent.

Right? So your mind can focus more if you are presented with the right stimulus and can focus less if you're presented with another stimulus. So what do you think mine is now that I'm 25? Is it just Yeah, so we'll get there in a second. So then what's the difference between a 15 year old and year old. I guess I would probably say they have, they're an adult now, they have work. Yeah.

They have responsibilities. And so what does that mean for their mind? How does their mind work? Instead of focusing on, like, all about, I would say it's probably more, if I'd describe it,

I guess it's more water. Very good. Crazy. Beautiful. What does that mean, though? Yeah. I like when you smile, because I sort of got,

you're a teacher, right? Sure. no teacher has ever smiled at me unless I'm getting kicked out of the class. They don't. I've never had a teacher that was like, oh, they enjoy it. They were like proud that I said something. That's shitty. Well, I was always the class clown.

Like I would say one joke to get kicked out. Like I knew I was going to get kicked out, but I would just say it anymore. So, Ms. Kiff, you're good at this. So I don't know if you realize this. But like, you're giving me answers which are not complicated explanations, but capture the essence of the answer. That's why I'm smiling. Because you can't put into words, but you fucking understand. Because when you say, what is a five-year-old's mind like?

You stumble around with your words, which I think sometimes makes you feel stupid and makes other people maybe think that you're stupid. But then you do this. That captures a five-year-old's mind. You see that? And then when I ask you, I just introduced 30 seconds ago the concept of elements and mind. And you are already understanding that concept and bringing it back to me. A 25 year old's mind is more like water. You have in the span of 60 seconds taken an entirely new concept, understood it.

You can manipulate that information and you can speak my language. This is the strength of a Vata mind. you learn incredibly fast. You can't focus on things for a long amount of time, but I can drop you in the middle of nowhere where you don't understand what the fuck is going on. You'll understand what's going on in four hours because your mind is so fast

in accumulating information. Right? So a dynamic scenario is going to be good for your mind. What are you feeling? You look like you're feeling something. I feel happy. I mean, I, I, I really do feel stupid all the time now. And for someone to say that I'm not dumb, it's, it's, it makes me feel a lot better.

I just feel dumb. But do you get that? I'm just not saying that to be nice. Like, do you, do you agree with what I'm saying? Like, do you understand how your mind is picking up new concepts and, like, using them in a very rapid way? I, I, I don't think I'm dumb. I as a person, I know I can be smarter. I know I am genuinely a smart person.

I wouldn't be where I am today if I was just dumb. You know, I obviously am smart in a lot of ways, and I know I understand things, but I just feel like it's almost like a piece of me is turned off right now, and I really want to try to turn it back on. But what I just did to you is, I don't know if you've been noticing,

I've actually been staring down, not looking at the screen. Because I've been able to focus a lot more just staring at my keyboard, just literally trying to listen. And that's one thing I don't do enough nowadays. And I think I just learn that with you is I don't listen as much as I need to. Because when I listen, now I remember a lot of things. Yes. So this is number one of the points that I jot it down.

So I want you understand your memory is not bad at all. It's your attention. That's the problem. Right? So a lot of people with ADD think they have bad memories. So like when you describe the fridge incident, you think, I forgot, because English is like an unsophisticated language when it comes to the mind, you say, I forgot to close the door, which implies that it is a memory problem, because the word forget has to do with memory, right? But if we think about memory, memory is about reaching into like the library of your mind and pulling something out. That's not your problem.

You can actually pull something out of your mind very easily. The problem is stuff doesn't go in. so your mind doesn't process because it is distracted that the door is open in the first place and what you're that that's exactly yes and what you're noticing now is that you've somehow in the course of this conversation figured out how to listen a little bit better so what does that mean that means that your attention is actually focused on what i'm saying and therefore you are learning and getting the information in your problem is not one of memory it's that the information doesn't come in.

That's true. And so how are you listening to me now? I'm just, I am trying to just focus all on my hearing and just stare. I'm literally just staring at one keyboard or one key. Good. So I, I ask you how, and what you're doing is focusing your attention on something sensory. And somehow by staring at a keyboard, my words are sinking in better. How the, because there's no distractions.

Why aren't there distractions? Very good, Misk. Because I'm looking at one specific thing. Like, for example, when I'm streaming, there's like three monitors, thousands of people in chat, donations, people trying to get my attention. And with you right now, it's just one keyboard, and then I'm just listening to you. So do you have ADD right now? Yes. Yes. I still do. Absolutely. Is it affecting you the way that it does at other times?

No, not as much. Beautiful. So that's something we have to understand. Right? So the first thing to understand is that just because you have ADD, there are literally things that you can train yourself to do. There are also environmental things that you can do to influence your mind to do a better job at what you want it to. And you are actually doing that right now. So I'll tell you exactly what's going on. You were, so normally your mind is a thousand different things. You were focusing on one thing to keep all of the other things at bay. Does that make sense? So your mind, by focusing it on one thing, which is like a piece of paper, your ability to listen to my words actually improves. And you're already figuring, you figured actually Biscuit, you figured all this stuff out, bizarrely. It's great.

And you've also noticed what is the circumstance. that leads you to have a more ADD mind. You've already talked about it. The circumstance that leads me to have a more ADD mind? Distractions. Yes. Like what? Chad.

Yes. Right? So if I'm out with my, like, anybody, like one place that I have 80, this is going to sound weird, but I have ADHD more at grocery stores that I've ever had in anywhere. And that's because I've noticed. that it's if I'm trying to talk to my friend, there's a thousand different things behind him that can grab my attention because colors grab my attention a lot. There's a thousand different

things that can grab my attention. People talking, noises and all those things. And they just, I am completely out of it when I'm at grocery stores or like a Walmart or something. Yes. But I feel like right here, if it's like it's a black keyboard, there's nothing else that's very stagnant, like what you said. I feel that I can talk. and listen a lot more. And also, I feel like in general, I could speak better. Yes, right? So good.

So you're recognizing that there are some kinds of environments that are, so your mind is prone to distraction. And so if you're in a high stimulus environment with a lot of different things coming at you, it's going to amplify your VATA. It's going to increase your ADD. And if you are in a low stimulation environment, then your mind's ability to focus is going to be better. Right? So I think unfortunately, one of the bad things about our current society is that technology and the rapidity of technology trains your brain to not think about one thing.

Right? So Twitter teaches our brain to shift from one thought to another very, very rapidly. Reddit teaches our brain to shift from one thing to another very rapidly. So there's some interesting research about children and screen time. So people are wondering, like, what's the effect? Or if people, if kids watch like screens, like iPad or YouTube or whatever, does it make them more prone to ADD because ADD is on the rise? And it turns out that it's not necessarily the screen. It's whether they watch something long form or short form.

So if you watch an episode of Sesame Street that's 30 minutes, that doesn't make them as ADD as watching YouTube videos that are three minutes long. Because your brain is training itself to shift its attention. Shift, shift, shift, shift, shift. And your environment with streaming and managing chat and stuff like that. So by the way, you're also good at that, right? Your mind can handle three different monitors, Twitter chat, donations, this, that. If you think about it, like some people's minds, people's whose minds are like water,

have trouble with that. They're like, no, man, I just want to flow in one direction. and like I can't fucking like I'm a I'm sort of like this so I've trained my mind to you know attend to this and I find that like I do a really bad job if I look at the donations and stuff it completely derails me so I have to like not look at chat and I don't look at my viewer account and I don't look at any of that because if I start doing that I lose my attention with you so there are some vulnerabilities that your mind has and if you account for your vulnerabilities it's going to do a better job so technology is going to make your mind more Vata is going to make your ADD worse. Yeah. Oh, 100% it does. Like, I, I've noticed that. I've tried to stop looking at socials and stuff like that because it's, and also just,

uh, constantly trying to like, something that I do a lot is I'll, I'll open Google, look at something, close Google, go to a game, open Google, do something. I wouldn't even realize I did it. Like it just comes naturally. I don't even mean to do it. And I, um, I've been trying to. It's not easy. It's very hard.

Yeah, I'm trying to do that way less or scrolling through Twitter, Instagram. I never look at it. So I want to point something out to you. So like the cool thing is that you may be able to stare at objects to help keep your attention focused, right? So what you're doing is actually something called a dharana, which is actually a meditation technique. So it is focusing your attention on one particular thing. So now we're going to talk about how to make the. things better. So the aggregate amount of random-ass screen time that you get exposed to is going to make you more ADD.

Yes. So if you spend time doing other activities, you're literally giving your mind like time to operate in a particular way. So it's sort of like, you know, if you spend a bunch of time walking, it's not going to make you better at swimming. But if you spend half of your time in the water and half of your time walking, your body's going to get good at both. things. That makes sense. See, like, look. That was good. I like that.

Yeah. So, I don't know if you know this misgift, but I tend to have very long and complicated sentences that people tend to have difficulty following. Really? I like that. I thought that analogy or I don't know what that is, but I like that. Yeah. So you're attending, right?

So that's very good. So I want you to spend time, the dedicated amount of time every day, focusing on just like attending to one thing. Right. So whether that's a conversation or whether that's this or whether that's that. And in terms of your girlfriend, if you want to, you know, improve your relationship and not frustrate her, you guys both need to understand that like if you're outside at a grocery store, your capacity to attend to her is going to be decreased.

Yeah. And so for you to even use some language like, hey, it sounds like what you're saying, saying is important right now. Is it okay if we just like go to a place where I can really just listen to what you're saying and maybe sit in the car or something like that? So you can you can delay those conversations and it's a weird thing to tell someone. But if she yeah I feel I just feel bad. Yeah. Why do you feel bad? Because it just sounds I feel so dumb that I have to say that to someone like hey you I can't talk to you right now because I can't focus like we're just at a supermarket. I can't focus on what you're saying. But it's true. I know it's true because it happens like we went to

sushi and I I couldn't for the life of me focus on what she was doing because there was a birthday party going on behind her. There was like all this other stuff. People walking, people talking. It was raining and I just, there was nothing I could focus on. I couldn't focus on anything she was saying. I felt terrible because I felt that's where I felt. That's where I felt. so dumb. So maybe I need to just tell her we need, there's times where I can't focus on stuff because like you said, there's pros and cons to my brain and this is one of the cons that I have to deal with. Absolutely, right? So this is going to be hard, Miskip, but you have to let yourself be where you are. What does that mean? Great question. So a lot of people are in a particular

place, right? So like they have certain strengths and weaknesses. and they beat themselves up so much for being where they are that they don't like let themselves be there. Does that make sense? Yeah, being present, you mean? Just not only being present, but like accepting that you suck at some stuff that other people find very easy and normal.

Oh, I'm fine with sucking at most shit. Like, I actually, I don't mind it whatsoever being bad at a lot of people. What bothers you so much about this? I just, I hate, I feel like I'm not living life. I feel like I'm not enjoying conversations as much. Like it bothers me that I could see people talking about stuff and I either A, I'm just not enjoying it or B, I just don't, I can't listen to them because I just don't care or I hate that I have a conversation with my mom and I just feel like 20 seconds into the

conversation, I stop listening. And I just start saying, okay, yeah, blah, blah, blah, giving generic answers. And then I'm not listening to the conversation. What's wrong with that? I think of a hundred different things. What's wrong with this, I just feel like I'm not being present. And I hate not, I want to be present more. What do you hate about not being present?

I don't feel like I'm enjoying life. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of things by not being present. Because a lot of times I'll be doing this with my brain to try to make jokes and try to make people laugh or try to entertain. and I won't be here. And because I'm not there and everyone else is there, they're all enjoying themselves. When me, the only thing I'm doing the whole time is thinking of random stuff to make jokes and say stupid stuff.

And I know there's a balance of it. I've been there before where my brain's like this constantly, but I've had a balance before where I was able to enjoy myself and focus at parties or focus at with someone, but also still be funny. and I just want to try to get to that balance more because right now I feel like if there's like a middle

I'm sorry these drawings are weird but if there's like a middle where I want to be and like this is like you know over here is like really you could like let's the water and over here's air

I want to be more in the middle of water and air or as close to those middle as like possibly very good so now let me ask you something misgift. When you write, why is it easier for you to explain things? I don't know. What, so what? It's right there in front of me. So I want you to notice something. When you're not writing and you're not focused on your keyboard, what is the speed of your thoughts? Can I see the other side where you have the different boxes? Oh, yeah. So how long does it take you to get from the

bottom left box to the top right box. In about one sentence of you talking. Exactly. So when you're drawing something, is your mind focusing on one thought for a longer period of time? Is your mind moving slower? Sorry, I spaced out. Can you say it again? So when you're drawing something, is your mind moving faster or slower than the boxes? Slower. When you write, what is the speed of thoughts that you think compared to the thoughts that you

write. When I think they're way faster, when I'm writing, it's way slower. So now we understand. When you focus on a keyboard, what is the speed of your thoughts? Slower. So all you need to do

is use certain techniques to slow down your mind. And the reason that writing helps our memory is because we literally sit on that thought for a longer period of time than thinking. Does that make sense? If I write out that H2O is water and water is a liquid, can be a liquid, gas, and solid, that sentence takes two seconds to think. It takes two seconds to say.

But it also takes way longer to write. And if I write it, my mind is literally sitting on that thought for a greater amount of time. And the longer that we sit on a thought, the further in it sinks. So for you to be able to attend to conversations, all we need to teach you. how to do misgift is to slow down the speed of your mind. And you have already discovered many things that slow down the speed of your mind. And the cool thing, the really cool things to just think about this for a second. When you slow down your mind, you're actually able to do the very things that you feel stupid for not doing. Like you can do it. You just have to duplicate what you're

doing right now. Yeah. What do you think? But I still don't think I can do as much as you think I can do. Yes. Like, I don't think I can go to school and do get good grades. Like, I cut it on Adderall. Like, it's just a different beast. Yeah. Because I think there's things that I suck at, like school on ADHD and with stuff like that. What makes you think?

But I do think I can at least slow down my brain. What makes you think I think you could succeed at school? Maybe I was wrong. So, Ms. Kiff, I think you, I agree with you that I think that I have more faith in what you're capable of. than you think you do. And I also think that school is going to be a very difficult environment for you. But this is what I will say. I think you can be very successful without school.

So school is for water people and fire people. It's for river people and, you know, bonfire people. It's not for Vata people. So the other thing, or certain kinds of school. So I think there are other kinds of school that you could do. But like sitting in a, like, if you had to like come and listen to my lectures, you'd be screwed. Actually, my lectures are pretty good. I'm pretty good about that.

So, you know, if you have to sit in a classroom and focus, like, that is not what your mind is designed for. I don't think you're going to ever excel in that scenario. But I think part of the advantage of understanding Vata is that in order to succeed in life, you don't have to be one of those people. The whole point of being Vata is to structure your life so that you succeed where, I mean, water people or fire people would fail. Like streaming. Exactly. So I, for example, have four or five jobs. And what I found, so when I was failing out of college, my, so I went, I was a freshman in college playing into a bunch of video games, also ran for like student council, joined a bunch of gloves, joined a fraternity, took like two different languages. Actually, in my first year, I took Spanish, Japanese and Mandarin, my second year. And then like, so studied philosophy and was majoring in like biology and all this kind of crap. My mind was all. all over the place, and I just failed. Like, I had, like, a 1.5 GPA.

And so my dad comes to me, and he says, oh, look, what you need to do is just focus on studies, like, don't do any of the other stuff. So my second year, I dropped all the clubs, stayed in the fraternity, still played video games. What do you think happened to my GPA? Is I focused on just...

1.6. Nope. 1.4. Oh, nice. That's close. Went even lower. And then, so then what I said is, like, man, fuck this. I'm not even going to take a full class load. I'm just going to take two classes.

So my second semester of my sophomore year, I just took two classes and focused on those two classes even more. What do you think happened to my GPA? Did it go up or did it go down? Were you still playing video games? Probably wouldn't. Probably stayed around there. Went down. So the fewer things that I tried to do, the more I tried to like make my life easy, the worse I did. So then I go to India and I talk to a buddy. of mine who's an Ayurvedic physician. And I tell him, this is what I've been struggling with. What do you think? And he started laughing. And I said, what's wrong? He's like, that's a terrible

idea for a vata. If you want to be successful as a vata, you don't focus on one thing. What you need to do is juggle as many balls as you can without dropping a single one. You need to have, when your mind gets bored of something, you need to have something else for it to move to. And then when you get bored of that, you need something else to move to. And when you get bored of that, you need to have something else to get bored. And by the time you get bored of the fourth thing, you can go back to the first one and it's interesting again. So if you want to, if you're in school, Miskif, you're screwed. But if you're in school and you're streaming and you're learning how to cook, you're going to be capable of things that other people are going to think is actually superhuman.

The water folks are like, how does he do it all? Because what you need is, because here's the cool thing about your mind, Miscuit. you feel dumb, but when your attention is actually focused, like, you probably feel brilliant. Like, you get that, right? That you're able to pick up concepts way faster than the average person. So all you need to do is instead of just focusing on like one thing, switch your mind and let it focus on different things. And then you will actually be able to move forward. The problem is that if you try to climb one mountain, you're going to fail.

If you try to climb four mountains, you're going to succeed. So, like, if I, like, because I swear, I sound like a two-year-old, but I don't know why. Just writing makes things easier. So you're saying I get bored easily, right? So, and because I get bored easily, I should, having numerous things is a good thing

because it makes my brain better. So then, like, if I was to draw what you're saying, because I swear the drawings helped me, like Maya, my girlfriend, she drew she read this book about ADHD and she drew like the stuff and I look at it every night

and it's to teach me how to focus and try to be more present because that's a huge thing I've been having a problem with for years is trying to be present but what you're saying so drawing just help so what you're saying is like this where it's like the first thing

and then if you don't like the you keep going and juggling different things and then you finally get to this one and when you finally get bored with that by the time you're, this one's, so the only thing that's wrong with that is that big arrow on the left side of the paper needs to be down instead of up. The arrowhead is in the wrong way.

So you go from thing number, this big one? Yeah. So the arrowhead needs to be pointing down, not up. Oh, so it goes back down. Yes. Yeah, I was thinking that like it's never ending. No, that's not what you want.

If you go never ending, you're going to fail at all of them. Right? Why is that? Because you're never going to spend enough time on one. Okay. So what you need to do, like you don't, so you can, like, what you want to do is come back to square one and then work on that. And then when you get bored of square one, go back to task two and then move to task three

and then move to task four. And then in order for you to complete any of those tasks, you've got to go back to task one again. And then work on that for a while. And then when you get bored of that, go back to two. And you want to move forward on all four of those things kind of simultaneously. But you need to create a life where your dynamic mind, instead of forcing it to do something that it doesn't want to do, you sort of like give it an opportunity to like thrive in the way that it normally functions. So what do you think I should do?

So I mean, I don't know practically how you spend your days, but like I think streaming is good. But I would think about like other goals besides streaming that you work on. I have a I feel like this is probably Deja Vu for you, but I have a game that I'm, working on as well. Good. It's, yeah, because I,

I've learned that I need to distract myself from streaming. Um, because I think about it all day. That's all I think about is streaming in my job. And I'm trying to think of other things, like my YouTube channel. Um, I don't know,

is that if that's a good one. Yeah. So I'm not quite that. So I'm not quite sure what your life is like and what you're working on. But like, I would also think about, you know, structuring your girlfriend into that.

right so like like make her a task in your mind that your mind can focus on for periods of time so if you spend five hours with her you're going to like lose attention but if you spend like an hour with her like you can probably do okay for an hour and then you're going to get bored and when you get bored it doesn't mean that you don't care about her or things like that and you're going to feel dumb you need some something to occupy your mind to move it to so you essentially want to rotate the focus of your mind because it's naturally going to want to move Okay. So I can... If I'm with her, I should...

I should try... It's really anyone. I mean, you don't have to just label just her. Like anybody, because it's all my friends, too. I should try to be in an environment that doesn't have any distractions. And if I am in an environment with distractions, I mean, I don't have to tell them, like, hey, you know, right now I can't focus, but try not to have more serious conversations. at those places, focus it more at places like my house where... Yeah.

If we're just in a room together. Okay. So the cool thing about that is if you start to do that, what do you think is going to happen to the quality of your conversations? You're going to go up? And how is that going to make you feel? More attentive, probably a lot better. What is better mean? Probably more present.

Sure, more present. How is that going to make you feel about yourself? Smarter. How does that feel? That feels great because I feel so dumb. So now, Miss. if we get to an interesting question. If you feel smarter,

do you think that has any impact on your attention? Yes, I would say. How? Well, I think a lot of things that come down to me is a lot of stuff when it comes to me is confidence. And I lack a lot of confidence right now

in my attention and ability to be attentive. But I know when I'm more confident, I'm better. And I think that if these things align if like these stars align and I start working more towards better conversations with people and focusing that I think I'll be more confident and I'll be able to yeah okay so we got to understand that right so once again misgift the cool thing about this you actually have all the answers I think what I would like to help you do is understand the equations behind your observations

So how on earth does confidence make you make your mind less ADD? Like how does that work? Because I think when I have ADHD, this is going to be made like a minute to figure it out. But I know the less confident I am, the more ADHD intensive I am. Because this is going to sound bizarre. But when I'm more ADHD, when I'm less confident and I think, feel dumber, I look to ADHD more as like my way because I try to just constantly think of, instead of like focusing on a conversation and enjoying it, I try to make jokes a lot.

And I'll focus more on making jokes with my ADHD, which will make it'll make my ADHD do this times like five. Because now I'm just, if I'm in full ADHD, I call it retard mode. So I'll go in retard mode and I'll start doing this times like five. And I'll just start trying to make jokes constantly and get completely derail from conversation. Yes. So, so let's understand this. Why do you start making jokes when you feel, when you don't feel confident? Um, I don't know. Okay. I'm not gonna, I'm not, we're gonna not not not good enough, buddy. I'm gonna dig. So how do you feel when you make a joke? Ephoric. I love it. It's the, it's one of my favorite feelings ever is when I see people

thinking I'm funny. Okay. So, so you, so there's something within you that says, hey, misgift, now it's time to make a joke. We need to make a joke. Right? And so what is what are you looking for in the joke? What am I looking for? By joking. Like something in your mind wants that, right? A good feeling. Yes. A sense of approval. Yes. Very good. Now why do you need that sense of approval? Because I lack confidence in other areas and I want people to, I want to be people to validate me. Perfect. Right? So look at how fast

you're answering this shit. Beautiful. Five seconds ago, you said what? I have ADHD, man. I don't remember. You said, I don't know. Oh.

Right? Yeah, I said I don't know. That sounds accurate. I usually do say that. And it turns out that you do know. So now... It's validation. So what you're noticing is that you give in

to the ADHD process and you actually support it. You want to... I'm writing it. Yeah, you want that ADHD process, right? Because the ADHD process makes you feel how? Euphoric and makes you feel confident. So what you're doing in that moment is actually like fertilizing and growing the ADHD neurons in your brain.

Yeah, I definitely know that it is. So you're strengthening your ADHD to protect you from what feeling? From feeling dumb. Yes. I'm feeling. Very good, right? So you feel dumb. but if you can make everyone laugh,

no one notices that you're dumb and you don't have to pay attention to the conversation because everyone's looking at your joke. And everything is fun and wonderful. So in a bizarre way, if you become more confident, the fuel that you put into the ADHD gas tank starts to go down.

You don't need that part of you if you can feel confident in yourself. So do you think that with streaming and with the lifestyle that I've, live, I've fueled that ADHD fire massively because not, I think I feel it with multiple things. I feel like I fueled it with looking at socials all the time, Twitters and stuff like that. And then I've also fueled it a lot by giving into the ADHD process because my stream is six hours a day.

And then if I'm six hours trying to make jokes all the time because it's my life, I'm fueling that ADHD fire because I'm giving, I don't, I don't need, I'm looking for very much. validation through the ADHD process. So I'm feeling that fire massively with streaming and through also socials and three monitors and everything else that's going on in my life. So that's making that fire massive. And then that's why I feel dumber today than I did, like, let's say a few years ago. I'm sorry.

Was that a question or was that a conclusion? I guess that was a conclusion. Absolutely. I was also drawing that. Absolutely. Right. So this is Miskip, what we call understanding. Yeah.

So now you're kind of saying at the beginning you said, I feel like I'm getting dumber and my ADHD is getting worse. And if I were to ask you how does that work, you need to go back and watch the VOD of what you just said. Because that's how it works. Right? Because absolutely. So you see that?

Like you're actually, you need the ADHD. You rely on it. Yeah. You're growing it. You're feeding it. but I don't want to just feed it good so this is where you got to meet yourself where you are

so right now it's big it's going to take time for it to grow less weak but the first thing that you need to do is understand once again that it comes with confidence so there are two solutions here one is to become more confident and the second is to be more tolerant

of feeling stupid no I I'm yeah I mean I love feeling dumb Like I love when chat thinks I'm dumb or they, you know, I love being an idiot. It's my job. Yeah, so I think that there are two kinds of idiot here, right? So now you have to really tunnel and pay attention to yourself because I think there's the idiot that's funny. And then there's the feeling inside you that causes you to joke that you try to get rid of by being funny and being an idiot on stream.

Those are two different idiots. Yeah, I would agree that there's two different idiots. So one of them you're very comfortable with, because that's the mask, that's the ADHD idiot. What you're not comfortable with is the other one. Yeah. How do those feel different to you? I think when I'm trying, when I'm on stream, I don't feel as bad about feeling dumb because they're thinking it's funny and it's entertaining to them. But then when it's something, the idiot, the other idiot is like talking to my mom and how I feel like when I talk to her sometimes I don't remember anything or she's,

telling me, Matt, I told you this five seconds ago, like, why don't you remember, or she's getting upset with me that I didn't remember a text message or any of those kind of things. So there's, those are the two different. Yep, very different. Very, very different, right? So it's good. So once again, English doesn't have really a great way to differentiate those. But, I mean, I think you have this sort of deep set, kind of like idiot complex that you

try to run away from. So what we need to help you do, so one is we can help. you be more confident by like like and this is going to be tricky because you're going to have to say things that that are going to evoke that complex when you tell your girlfriend hey i can't talk to you about this right now because we're in a grocery store you're going to feel like an idiot it's going to bring that feeling up so you've got to be ready for it and then you've got to say what you're saying is actually really important to me and i'm sorry i'm trying to like i'm trying to like learn how to concentrate better well i don't want to lie to her yeah but so

So just tell her. Like, this is like, so if, the funny thing is that she, you know, oftentimes when people talk to other people about their weaknesses, and I tell people, how can I say this? So if I'm like working with a patient and I kind of tell them, hey, like, I'm going to have to cancel today. I'm just not in the brain space to where I think that I can really, like, help you the way that you deserve. How do you think they feel? If you did that to me, I'd feel like, well, I'd feel like you didn't care. That's just me. Okay.

I don't know. How would another person feel that? That I didn't care about you? Yeah, but that's just me. Yep. I would say upset. I wouldn't believe they'd be happy about it. They'd be like, lost, maybe.

I can see why you think that. As it turns out, it's actually the opposite. So in my... You can, I know it's the opposite. You care a lot and you want to give as much attention as you possibly can. And then you don't want to... Look at that bat-in-mind. Look at you saying one thing and then being able to understand the exact opposite

within the span of a second. This is your strength. But I don't think that's that hard to understand. Maybe I'm... I don't think... I feel like anyone can understand that, no? Yeah. So this is something that we tend to do, right?

So most human beings, and this is true of everyone who is watching at home, We tend to devalue the things that we're good at and over amplify the things that we're bad at. Yeah. So you see how you do that? So that just reinforces the lack of confidence because you're not able to see that you're actually exceptional in some ways. All you see is your fuck-ups. Yeah. And we're taught that from a very young age.

You know when we're taught that? Five. Yeah. Right. So when we go to school and you get a 75 on a test, is that a good grade or a bad grade? I would be jumping for joy if I got a 75. What about the average person? Probably a little upset.

Yeah. Because we always look at the 25 questions we got wrong instead of the 75 questions we got right. Yeah, I do that a lot. I think everyone does that. Is that like a human nature type of thing? Sure. and it's reinforced by some of our societal stuff. So you have, so the cool thing, so, Ms. Giff, I think there's hope for you.

And the reason I think there's hope for you is because I think you have learned and you have fueled and cultivated some of these negative patterns of viewing yourself in the way that your mind works. You know, you've done like bonsai sculpturing of your mind and it like, it grows in this weird twisted way that's like based on ADD. You fuel the ADD because it protects you. you from feeling stupid. Yeah. So the cool thing about that is that if you've grown it and cultivated it one way, you can actually cultivate and grow it the other way. That'd be great.

You can do that, right? And it starts, and it's going to be difficult because what you have to do is it starts with something as simple as a conversation, simple but hard with your girlfriend that's going to make you feel dumb. But bizarrely enough, what she's going to hear is, oh, Ms. Kiff is actually trying to, like, do right by this relationship. Generally speaking, you know, if your girlfriend tells you that she's having difficulty with something and she wants to do a really good job, and can you give her some time and space to do that? How does that make you feel if she says something like that?

I'm okay with it. Why don't you think she's dumb? Because it's, I guess you're right. Yeah, it shows that she cares. Absolutely. That she's more willing to care about, like, what's going on. so it's not bad it's a good thing because they want to give you their full attention exactly right yeah and and so yeah so misgiff what if i told you so like do you think what i do on stream is special

i would say of course yeah okay you're very very unique yeah so how do you so would it surprise you to learn that i think that what i do on stream is completely average and that anyone could do it uh yeah i mean I'd say a lot of Redditors would probably say that they could do your job, but I think that they can't. Yeah, but I feel that way, right? Because I also overvalue my weaknesses, and I undervalue my strengths. I think that's a very common thing with streamers, though, is we all do that. I think, I think chat doesn't realize that, but streamers in general, we all undervalue ourselves massively, and we all think of ourselves less than what they think of us.

Yep. Like, I really don't feel special, and I don't, I know people think I have this massive ego, but I don't feel special at all. I feel very the opposite almost. In some cases, I wish I had more of an ego so that way I could be more confident. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes, but it actually, I think you probably do have more of an ego because confidence in ego are opposites. They're not the same thing.

So the more... Is that maybe an English thing that I'm thinking it's different? Yeah, well, I think English just a lot of us don't understand how ego and confidence works because we don't explore it. But generally speaking, you know, the person who is more ego-less, so think about someone who's egotistical and think about someone who's confident or those different people in your mind. I can't really think of an example of someone that's confident,

but I can think a lot of people that are egotistical. Yeah, but it's weird, right? Because you say, I can't think of someone who's confident. So your mind is automatically saying that the egotistical people are not confident, because you're looking for someone else. So actually ego is a cover for insecurity. It's the armor against insecurity. And confidence, because the egotistical person, their view of themselves depends on themselves or other people?

Other people. What about the confident person? Themselves. Absolutely different, right? Beautiful. So the confident person's sense of self-worth comes from within, and the egotistical's sense of self-worth comes from without. And if you are not confident, there is a high likelihood that you're egotistical. Because that's just how our mind protects us from insecurity.

It's a protective mechanism. So I do have a huge ego. Possibly. I don't know. So I think you don't feel like you have a huge ego because you don't feel confidence in yourself. Right? So like the ego is what protects you when you're feeling down. So whether you have a huge ego or not, I can't. really say I'm not detecting much of an ego right now. Yeah. I mean like yeah I I feel like I used to

have way more of an ego and then I don't have it as much anymore. I did like a year ago I had a huge yeah nowadays not so much. Will you feeling secure in yourself a year ago? Yeah really. Interesting way more but I I stopped feeling that way a lot more last year as I grew as a streamer because I I don't know if you know this but I like doubled my view count overnight pretty much because I got banned over a week and in doing that

I got a lot of positive vibes and a lot of people that were you know it was crazy but a lot of people also shit on me and then people started getting hating on me and getting sick of me and you know I started getting hate which is something I was never used to

and that hate like what you just said before with we tend to look at you know we've got a someone will say something what were you saying before is like we look at something and it's like if the 75% right like we look at the 25 that we got wrong that's exactly how i is streamer and a lot of other streamers look at the negative comments that we get is we look at the positive ones and we just glance right through them but we'll see like one negative comment and it'll sit with me all night And it slowly has deteriorated me. I think it's a streamer.

Absolutely, buddy. That's just how we work, man. So you have to stop feeding those neurons. Right? So like you have to acknowledge that, oh, this is my mind. Because what happens is the mind looks for confirmation of what it believes. That's just how the mind works. So if you believe that you're doing a bad job and you lack confidence in yourself,

your mind is going to go towards the one or two things that support what it already believes. So I was once working with a patient who was convinced that their spouse was having an affair. And so they would do all kinds of weird mental gymnastics. They're like, yeah, they came home late one night. And so that's evidence that they're having an affair. They said that they were at work.

But I tried calling their cell phone. And it rang. But they usually don't get cell phone reception in their building. so I don't think that they were at work. They must have been at a hotel. And once you believe something, your mind is going to look for any way to kind of support that pre-existing belief.

Right, yeah. That's very true. Like, I will get, some people will, I've gotten comments before people saying, like, and this has definitely hurt my confidence, and I guess it has made me create an ego where it's I've gotten people saying like

oh man like I miss old Ms. Kiff where he was just an idiot and was playing this game called Marbles I don't know if you know what that is and like I would just sit there and play Marbles all day

and do that and just listen to music and like oh I miss that Miz Kiff and I would ban them and I would think on that a lot because I'm like wow Like, have I really changed this much as like over the course of just a year? Have I really as a streamer become this like completely different beast where nowadays

my old viewers can't even recognize who I am. They don't even remember. Like they can't even watch me because they don't, they just missed who I once was. But then I, then I, I, I, they message me. And then I, I go in this huge trance where I just start thinking like, oh my God, they hate me. My old viewers fucking hate my guts. They think I'm a piece of shit. Like, I don't.

know what to do anymore, like all my old viewers left. But then I'll message them. They'll message me. And they're like, yo, dude, I was just kidding. It was just a joke. I love your streams. I have no problem with who you are nowadays. And I like who you are. And I'm happy for you. But you said, we just go off in such a trance. And we look at one comment and just go off the wall. So absolutely. So I think it's a really common problem. I'm glad that you notice it. And if it's okay with you, Miskip, I want to go back to ADD. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So first of all, how long have we been talking? I would guess 42 minutes.

Is that how long we've been talking? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. So how do you feel like your attention has been over the course of this conversation? I feel it's crazy like what I said. I mean, like I've wrote your notes and like I've been writing. But writing and then staring at the keyboard has helped me a lot.

Like my like and it helps me understand like ego. I think of it as like just a circle and hollow. Right. And then confidence I think of as, you know, not a hollow circle. Yeah. Like a full circle. Beautiful. But just like, you understand.

Writing these things down. Yeah. I feel like I don't. I don't feel like I'm like I feel like anyone can get that. Yeah. But I feel it's weird. When I do this stuff with you and I really listen and I've noticed that when I listen to people, like, let's say I'm talking to one of my friends and I really am trying to pay attention. they're saying, the wheels start turning, and it makes my day better, because I feel like almost

like these cog wheels that have, you know, webs on them that haven't been being used are being turned and it now makes me more focused throughout the entire day. Yes, beautiful, right? So this is why I have hope for you, because that too, so by the way, Biscope, you're beautiful with imagery. Because, like, ego is a shell. That's what it is. Right. And confidence. So what people say about ego versus confidence is that ego is iron on the outside and water on the inside. And confidence is water on the outside and iron on the inside. So right? So like really hard exterior with like jelly in the middle.

Whereas confidence, like you let stuff slide over you. You don't resist it. But on the inside, nothing can touch you. Yeah. So that's sort of a Chinese approach to ego and confidence. But how do I get more? confidence back. So I think you're already discovering, right? So you actually have the answer right there. So first of all, that attention and concentration is a skill that can be trained. So when you say

I have cog wheels that are like covered in webs and aren't moving properly, absolutely. So when you train your attention, you can actually start the flow of that machine in a positive way. And all it takes is practice. Because in the same way that sometimes you feed the ADHD, a conversation like this, a conversation with your girlfriend where you are attentive actually levels up your concentration skill. So this is a big... Is it weird that I don't know, I feel like right here. Is that normal? Like you feel? Yeah, that's it. That's your third eye, maybe. So as you are understand things, I wouldn't be surprised if you feel things here. Because this is where understanding comes from. Not information, but understanding. That's a conversation for a separate day. But I'm not surprised at all.

So I want to just get to a couple of other points which I want to mention to you. The first is that your concentration will continue to improve until you're about 32. So the brain... So I'm not... No, you're not. So your frontal lobes,

which are responsible for things like impulse control, the focus of your attention, and executing long, complicated tasks, that's the difference between a 5-year-old, a 15-year-old, a 25-year-old, and a 35-year-old. it's frontal lobe development delaying gratification controlling your impulses

that's what we call quote unquote maturity right so five year old mind is all over the place 15 year old can concentrate on boobs and every once in a while they can focus on their physics test a 25 year old can go to work most days and be like kind of stable but still like on the weekends like doesn't have quite their shit together

that 35 year old does things like pay taxes and contribute to their IRA and 401K that's maturity. That frontal lobe development ends around 32, but it's my hypothesis is that that is changing in our society and that our frontal lobes actually have a delayed maturity because of the influences like Twitter

and things like that. So you're going to get better at this just naturally. Like your brain is literally going to develop. Okay? Okay. Second thing is that if you reduce your Vata, so control the influences

that make your mind more wind-like. You will get better at this. So to spend time every day writing or concentrating on keyboards or learning to do art or creating music or something like that. Something that engages your attention, so we don't want you to like read textbooks on biochemistry. We want you to do something that engages your attention more naturally over an extended period of time.

So we've been talking for about an hour and 20 minutes And it feels to you like 45 minutes But your mind has actually been way more focused Than I think like you give it credit for You have not defaulted to making jokes and things like that Your ADHD has been more restrained And so this is a skill that you can learn Next thing is how are your bowel movements

Really? Yes They feel like in general You have like more than one a day You have a lot of bowel movements Or what's going on? Tell me about them. Constipated? I was when I was younger I used to take one of those things in your ass

Suppository Yeah Because I couldn't I never Yeah Shit I think like at least once a day Okay

And you go at the same time every day No At least I don't think so now. Okay. And are they like, are they like stinky? Are they like kind of like one log? Like what is it like? I would say it's not one log.

It's like way. It's like five pieces. Long. Okay. So are there times that so what like are there are there certain things that you can eat that make it one log? I know it's a weird question. Have you? I have no idea.

Okay. So there's a growing, so in Ayurveda, the way to reduce vatah is through the bowels. So you have to fix constipation and reduce gas production. So the crazy thing is that like Ayurveda's been saying that for thousands of years, but now there are actually studies on the brain gut axis, which show that everything from autism to depression and anxiety can be changed by changing your gut bacteria. They did a wild study where they did stool transplants from depressed mice. So they took mice that are depressed so they can measure mice depression by like how much they play in their cage and how curious they are and things like that.

They also have like a terrible test that they do to mice, which is they drop them in water and they see like how long the mouse mouse fights before it gives up and like lets itself drown. And more depressed mice will give up more easily and less depressed mice will fight for life. okay, they don't actually let them drown. They pull them out when they give up. So the interesting thing is they took a group of not depressed mice and they took a group of depressed mice. They extracted stool, not extracted, but they took the stool of a depressed mouse, transplanted it into a non-depressed mouse and the mouse became depressed.

So there are some kinds of gut bacteria that are higher in people with anxiety disorders and some kinds of gut bacteria that are lower in people with anxiety disorders. least scientifically valid evidence. I work with some people at this place called the Lurie Center, which is like a center for autism at Mass General Hospital in Harvard Medical School. They do a lot of stuff on behavioral disturbance for people with autism. So sometimes people with autism get really behaviorally disregulated and they get angry and they'll do head banging and stuff like that.

That altering their diet and giving them other kinds of like iron and things like that and smoothing out their bowels actually reduces behavioral dysregulation in people with autism. unpublished data, all clinical. So it's like anecdotal. But like when people come from all around the world to come to the Lurie Center when their kids have autism, and like this is what some of the clinicians there do. So your bowel movements need to be smoother. So you need to think about what foods will contribute to like big logs.

Okay? I think you're 80. Do you know what foods would? Yes. So high fiber foods, cooked foods, you want cooked vegetables. Things like sweet potatoes are ideal. Root vegetables are good for you. The other thing that you can do is you can order fenigreek seeds.

Take about a teaspoon of fenigreek seeds. Put them in water, like three to four ounces of water at night, and in the morning, drink them on an empty stomach. We'll reduce your vata. Okay? Make sure you talk to your doctor about all this stuff before you start it, but it should be safe. The last thing, so to think about Vata, there's some dietary things that you can do. you can focus and attend to your concentration. And I'm going to have to run in a minute, so I'll give you a chance for question.

Let me just see. Okay. I've got six minutes. So your frontal lobe is going to develop, right? So you can do, improve your constipation. Let me just think for a second. There are one of two things that. Yeah.

And the last thing is kind of coming back to this confidence point. So I want you to understand that the state of your mind emotionally is going to make you more vulnerable to the ADD thinking or less vulnerable to the ADD thinking. What do you mean by that? So when you feel less confident, remember, when you feel bad about yourself, the ADD is going to activate to be a joker and make you feel less bad. So working on your confidence is going to be important. But working on your confidence is going to be tough because you have to admit the feelings

of stupidity, right? You have to acknowledge those and face those. You're going to feel a little bit dumb when you tell your girlfriend, hey, I can't. can't talk to you in a grocery store because my mind is weak. That's not really what it is, but you're going to have that feeling. You've got to just acknowledge that feeling and then sort of try to tell her that, you know, I really care about your relationship and I'm trying to work on this. And I want to practice listening to you. The cool thing is that as you level this skill up, your ability to talk to her in a grocery store is going to get better. Yeah. You just got to level up.

I have a lot of good stuff. Yeah. Last thing is you got to meditate, buddy. So meditation is literally like doing push-ups for this part of your brain. There's a stream that I did that hopefully is on YouTube about dharana. Dharna is the Sanskrit word for concentration. But concentration in one-pointedness of the mind is a skill that you can develop. Some people are naturally better at it.

some people have more difficulty with it. But it's like literally something you can get better at. Okay. Yeah, I've been told that meditating is going to the gym something good? Yes. Put that up? But it's not going to help. I mean, so you should go to the gym for other reasons.

There are a whole other things that we haven't gotten to about the way that your mind works and how ADD works and stuff like that. So the other thing, anyway, so we can maybe have a follow up, but there are other points on my talking list that I just haven't gotten around to. But questions, thoughts? From the chat or from me? Anyone, everyone. Oh.

I think I got a, I really got a lot. Like, I'm actually ridiculously happy. I, because I went in here. I didn't know if you were going to be able to help me at all. But I, what I've learned a lot, I wrote it down because it helps me, is that, I try to validate Like I give into my ADHD process all the time Because it validates me

It makes me feel better But by giving it to the ADHD process It makes this go haywire Which is making my It's fueling my fire of ADHD It's making my You know What does it call when I'm like the gust of wind

Vata Vata It makes me go it makes that times five until like a crazy storm because I'm feeling that fire massively. I'm making it worse and I shouldn't do that. I need to learn

slowly to focus over time to have good conversations to understand people and I need to also understand that there's an idiot that's funny and then there's the idiot that doesn't remember things and the idiot that's funny is fine but I need to

learn to talk to people to understand people to grow less of an ego and have more confidence in myself so that way, because confidence is less ADHD intensive and an ego is just me increasing this because it's just feeling my fire. So, can we get a fucking round of applause?

Because you just tied it, just think about all of the different directions you just wove together in like 90 seconds. confidence, what you're fueling. Yeah. So many different things. Why you do it. You just beautiful, man.

Beautiful. Watch that. Like, you guys get that? Like, that wasn't that, like, that is a better summary than I could put together. Sounds like someone was fucking paying attention. Yeah. Good job. I know I could do it.

I don't know. I just have a lot. Like I said, I have low confidence that I can pay attention anymore. But I think from this, I learned that I can. I just there's different, I know I can. It's not I think I can. I know I can. It's just I need to, there's different states and there's different ways to focus.

Like, staring at one thing does help. Try to have less distractions as possible. I think meditating, I'm going to try to read. So I want to give you a particular practice on meditation. So I got, my parking meter is about to run out and I'm in Boston where they like give us tickets. and I've got 37 seconds. So I want to teach you this, though, okay? So I want to just leave you with this.

So sit up straight. Close your eyes. Tell me what you felt in your forehead. It felt tingly. Okay. I want you to put your middle finger like a millimeter away from where it felt tingly. Don't touch.

Good. Just and keep it there. Right? So middle finger right here. Good. Yeah. Just focus on the sensation. Do you feel tingling or warmth?

Mm-hmm. Just focus on that. Now let your arm come down. Relax. Keep your eyes closed. And just continue to focus on that spot. Focus on the tingly sensation. Thoughts may come, so be it.

Your mind may wander, but just return to that tingly sensation. And now I want you to drive your attention into it. I want you to imagine your attention like going into a funnel. And it kind of starts like in your head and then it focuses down and like comes to a point and then is pushing out of your forehead. And that's that tingliness that you feel. That's that's your attention kind of flowing into that. Does that make sense? No, but I feel the tingling.

Okay. So then just focus on the tingliness. Good. Now open your eyes. How was that? Oh, cool. I mean, I, my brain was going crazy closing my eyes. Like, it was, I was thinking of chicken nuggets, like, McDonald's. I mean, I'll tell you, it was just like Mario Kart, Yoshi, chicken nuggets, winter. Okay. Like, it was just random stuff. So now what we need to do is I want you to practice a half-lited gaze, okay? So I'll teach you one more thing. So you shouldn't do meditation with your eyes closed. So the half-litted gaze is kind of just like, just kind of, to zone out and stare at, so turn, there's a picture somewhere. So look at one of your pictures. Okay, so sit up straight, half-litded gaze. Focus on the tingling. Is your mind has less thought or about the same?

Oh, way less. Good. So you need to do half eye-open meditation, half-lid gaze. Very good. You can come back. Is that because I'm focusing on one object like I do on my keyboard? Yes. So you need, how I don't know.

Ideally, I could teach you Throtica, but, so we're going to have to think about that. But I want you to focus on that tingling sensation and gaze at something. Okay. Thoughts or questions before you wrap up? How long do I do that for? How long do you think? Like, as long as I can, 15 minutes? 15 minutes is going to be a lot.

I'd start with three to five. Three to five minutes. Yeah, don't beat yourself up and get... Do I do it like once a day? What do you think? Whenever I want. what do you think about that? I think it's good to meditate

whenever you possibly can. So I could do this kind of on the road then, right? If I could just stare at something and then just focus on that middle... Yeah, so be careful if you're driving. So I think that... So you have to balance your Vata, which is that you want to do it at random times

versus recognize that if you do it at random times, you're also feeding Vata. Okay, so I should do it in an area where it's... Calm. And also you should try to build consistency. But it's better that you do it every day as opposed to like not doing it. I would try to build some consistency in your practice. So if you have any anchor in your day, like if you, you know, wake up in the morning and then like if you go for a walk or like take a piss or something like that, you know, you're in Austin. So go outside. And especially at dawn or dusk would be ideal. Like you pick an object that's outside like a tree. You do half-litted gaze towards the tree. Okay. I can do that.

Okay. Any last thoughts or questions before you wrap up for the day? If chat has anything. I'm happy with it. I learned a lot. I feel really good. I don't know if it's possible. Can we do this next week?

I don't know about next week, but we'll definitely message you and we'll set up a time. Yeah, because I would love to do this again. Let me see if we can do it next week. Okay. All right, man, strong work. Good luck. And just because you feel that idiot doesn't mean that you need to give in to him.

I won't. I'll try to do it less. I'll do these things. Okay. Awesome, man. Strong work. I feel happy. Good.

Look at that. I'm glad. Take care, man. Yeah, it's weird. Later. Yeah, it's weird. He feels happy. Like, it's weird.

Like, he, like, paid attention for, like, an hour and a half. Like, that's crazy. Okay, chat. So Ms. Kiff is awesome. He's great. And I think he's going to be okay. Okay, right? So it's going to be hard. It's going to be a tough road. It's going to take him years just between us and you. But he's going to do it. I'd like to help them out. So yeah, parking meter. Hopefully I don't get a ticket. So listen, guys, I want to thank everyone again. So I saw that we've had a bunch of gifted subs and stuff. Hearts Hold, Sherlock, profound soup, sniffy, like buttered loaf, sears up. God, so many gifted subs. Wow, that's amazing. Oh, nine days ago. Okay. But so anyway, thank you guys very much for all of the support.

We're going to be streaming. I think Sunday we may change the time. And I think we're going to have follow-ups next week with people like Bobby Scar and maybe Mitch. And we're going to do this, chat. We're going to do this. We're going to help these people. And you guys are going to help them too. And if y'all are fans of misgift, so like try to help him out when it comes to, you know, the negativity versus positive.

And we're going to do this. These guys, like, y'all are going to be like, they can get better, you guys can get better, I can get better, we can all get better. Like, it's good. It's doable. We just have to understand. Like, the problem here is that we're playing a game without a tutorial. Like, that we play the game of life and no one teaches us. Like, no one is explained to Mizgift how his mind works. Right? Like, he's like, it's like, imagine if you're playing a game and you have, you know, like a keyboard in a language that you don't understand. And so you have, you have a keyboard in a language that you don't understand. And so you have. And so you have. And so you have. And so you have. And, to understand how you work because he's not dumb. He's actually brilliant. You guys see that? Like how, like, we talked about a lot of stuff. He moved fast. He moved really fast. That's what he's good at. He just needs to create a situation where his mind can thrive like that. And, and like, yeah, his summary was like, I couldn't do that, guys. I could not do that. And he just learned it for the first time. And look at how he summarized. This is beautiful, beautiful. So listen, thank you guys very much. Hopefully this was helpful for you all too.

If you guys feel like you're A-U-D or that you're dumb or things like that, probably not the case. Right? So, like, I know that you feel that way, but a lot of the stuff that we talked about with him should apply to YouTube. Because gaming, Twitter, YouTube, all of these things, Twitch, all of these things are going to enhance the vatanus of your mind. So don't feed those and try to spend some time focusing your attention on a particular thing. Okay? So thank you guys very much. Thanks for the subs.

And if you guys have signed up for coaching or the beta, hopefully stuff, you guys should get communications soon. And we're going to start training our next batch of coaches, maybe in March or April. And so hopefully we'll get more people from the beta enrolled in a couple months, too. So thank you guys very much.

I'll see you all on Sunday. Strong work today. Oh, and who are you rating? Let's rate someone. Who to rate? Can we? Let's read Destiny. Okay.

Oh, let's just raise me. Okay, Ms. Kiff is live. Let's read, just, guys, send them some positivity. Right? By the way, for those of you guys who don't know, for those of you guys who don't know, he figured out the charging the laser beam thing. You guys see that, right?

So we'll talk about that too. Okay. Take care, guys. Hi, welcome to your neighborhood pharmacy. Hi, I've got a prescription for diabetes test strips. How much is the copay? Well, it depends on your type of commercial insurance and factoring in your yearly spend, subtracting the deductibles, also depending on your monthly allowance based on...

Why can't there be a better option? Or you could try Contournext test strips. A 35 counts only 1999 over-the-counter and proven to be highly accurate. Go to contornex.com slash radio to see if over-the-counter strips are a more affordable option for you. I think I'll try Contour Next. Life-changing decisions can be hard, or they can be flexible. inclusive and best of all rewarding. Earn your master's in computer science, data science, or information systems at Northeastern University in the San Francisco Bay Area. No matter your experience, earn your degree, plus the desirable Bay Area is a smaller collaborative campus, but connected to the huge Northeastern University. Discover the different technology degrees available.

Visit northeastern.edu slash pathways to tech.