HealthyGamerGG - Should you really follow your dreams? | Interview with bbno$

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Today Dr. K and bbno$ talk about life as a musician, staying grounded in life, drugs, work-life balance and more! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quick, choose a meal deal with McValue. The $5 McChicken meal deal, the $6 McDonald's deal, or the new $7 daily double meal deal, each with its own small fries drink and four-piece McNuggets. It's actually no rush. I'm just excited from McDonald's. For a limited time, only person to participation may vary, not Belgrade or McDelivery. At what point, if you're making good music often, are people not going to want to tune in? That's just like a recipe for success.

It's like, same with like clothing. You make good music or good clothing often. Why wouldn't people want to buy it? You make good food all the time, new recipes. Why wouldn't people want to come to the restaurant? There's just so much music. And like, if you don't compete with the output of music, there's 46,000 songs on Spotify every single day.

I do a lot of meditation and I practice mindfulness because my brain will explode. I am just a human and there's too much data and information being passed into my brain. That's one of the probably the best things that I've been able to teach myself is like actually forcibly taking a step back when things are getting too hot. How do you know when things are getting too hot? Oh, I can feel it. You know, it's like your nervous system is just firing. So welcome. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me on. Thanks for coming on. We really appreciate it. Oh, absolutely. So let's just start with this. What would you like to go by today? How would you like me to refer to you? Call me Alex. A lot of people call me

baby and like I like that too don't get me wrong but um you know I'll take what I can get I think Alex works do you hear feedback coming from my headphones or not at all yeah okay perfect it's great um have you got the water I got the tea it is yeah no sometimes people mistake this for water it's actually what no I'm getting it's it's water um yeah so Alex help me understand a little I mean is there anything in particular that you want to talk about today or anything that you, maybe I can help you with? Still, I mean, like, just being a musician is a lot. Yeah.

At least all of my, like, musical friends that I work with and talk to, all kind of go through some of the same things. I feel like there's, like, a lot of, like, self-deprecation and self-doubt that, you know, I think this also probably encompasses just like the parameters of being a content creator because like you assess your self worth and validation

like almost exclusively off like analytics and statistics. Unfortunately, I haven't figured it out yet. So, but I, you know, I think over the past like two years with COVID and everything, I definitely have gotten, you know, okay with it.

with for instance i i had a song la la la i don't know if you've heard it and it just kind of went usually my songs would go like this but this song just went like straight parabolic um and i was like oh man like this is it this is the start of my career like this is like i'm gonna be huge i'm but in actuality you know things everything comes in waves and you know it ended up going down and there was a massive psychological issue within myself because I was like, damn, you know, how am I supposed to deal with not everything hitting the, hitting as well as the other songs and what like that? So I was like, no one really prepared me for that.

God bless that, like, you know, I went to university and I'm a relatively like a spiritual individual that like, you know, I was educated enough to like be like, seek, seek help and And I was like just happy that I was a you know, I had a good, good upbringing and everything because I was like, I don't know if I would have been able to deal with this. And, you know, it's weird because it's like, it's all so positive. And yet there's so many negatives with it. Yeah, right. And no, yeah, no one explained that shit to me. And it's like, damn, you know, like, what the hell?

But it and it's also kind of like, I'm sure like Twitch gamers feel the exact same way. I've done a fair amount of Twitch streaming, and it's like, if you don't keep up, like, things go down. If you don't keep up. And it's like, it's petrifying, you know? It's like, dang, this is like my livelihood. Like, I needed to work. So that in itself is just kind of worrisome. But, yeah, I mean, that's just like one of a bazillion things that I, like, that course through my brain probably daily.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess thank you so much for sharing all that, Alex. I think there's just so much there. Can I kind of just reflect back kind of what I heard?

Yeah, easy, easy. So it sounds like you grew up with, you know, some amount of advantages. Like it sounds like, you know, you had maybe supportive family. You sort of have a spiritual outlook on things. You've done some college, gone through college. and that you have a lot to sort of be grateful for, right? So like you had particular songs and stuff that were hits and there was a lot of growth. But it's kind of confusing because no one really prepares you for the roller coaster.

Exactly. And what you would think is that like on balance if you take all of the gains and all of the losses, you are so far ahead. But that's not sometimes how it feels. That's not how your mind actually looks at it, right? Because your mind is so damn relative. And what it always does is compare to what you've done recently as opposed to looking at like the summation of what you have to be grateful for. And then that's kind of confusing because there's a part of you that's sort of like, well, I shouldn't, you know, I should feel hype about this.

And there are parts of you that feel hype about this. But also like sometimes it's kind of weird because like your mental is sort of like not doing what you would expect it to do. and then it's kind of confusing even further because then it's sort of like, well, like, even when I look at things on balance, if everything is in the end a net positive, like, and that's not enough to raise my mood or whatever, then how do I navigate this? Right? Yeah, exactly. And I've definitely felt like there are so many situations where, well, my manager knows it for firsthand that I sent them yesterday.

I was like, look, man, things aren't moving as well as they should be. Like, we got to go harder. And it's like, you know, I was looking out, I was having a cup of ginger tea. And I was looking at, I drink ginger tea every day because it's, I will die without it. Um, I was looking outside the window. And I was like, dude, what the fuck? Like, what am I doing? You know, I, like, I'm, I'm really happy.

I'm so fortunate. But I remember when I bought my apartment, my mom was like, congrats. Like, you really have done this. Like, you, you, you know. And I just, like, I didn't even, like, I bought my fucking apartment. I didn't even, I didn't even think about it. Yeah. You know, I was so distra.

I've been so distracted and so incredibly, like, just caught up in my own shit that, like, I haven't noticed and I haven't taken steps back ever. And I, I'm like, now I know that I need to relax sometimes. But unfortunately, I'm kind of worried about this year. I have, like, 100 extra shows until the end of the year. Sure. So it's going to be very, it's going to be very busy. Um, but like, yeah, I'm, I'm figuring out, you know, like the methods and, and, like,

practices on how to like self reflect a lot more than I used to, which is good. And I think a relatively healthy practice. Yeah, it also sounds tough because I'm sort of hearing you say, like, if things don't go well, right, you got to go harder. It sucks. You got to go harder. But if things are going well, you can't slow down. exactly so you've got two options right you gotta go harder and you can never slow down so there's just

there's just one you know and so how do you take a step back it sounds like you have developed some degree of like keeping yourself sane through certain methods and practices and and stuff like that but yeah man it's tough i i'd love to talk about this if you're you know if that's i'm that's why i'm that's why i'm here baby that's what i'm here so talk to me alex about being a musician tell me about that. It's really like a beautiful thing. You know, I started making music because I I was both a bunch of my friends. We were smoking a bunch of wheat and we laughed over beats. And immediately at that moment, I was like, this is really fun. You know, like, this shouldn't have been as fun, like the creative process of just like making something and like making,

which I wouldn't call art back then, but sure, it's called art. Why wouldn't you call it all? Well, the first song was not art. That was some crazy. Yeah. But now, you know, now I call it, sure, it's art. You know, I don't think I make like Kendrick Lamar level music, but the goal is to obviously get to that point where it's my music is so undeniably, like, good that people just will allow me to be, maybe no money and forever. And yeah, being a musician, it's, it's very interesting. And I wasn't that musical when I was growing up.

My mom forced me to play piano, but I couldn't read. So I just kind of like found. You couldn't read piano or like music? No, no, no, I can read. I can read piano or like notes. And I still actually struggle with like keys. But I think I have a really, really. relatively good, like, understanding of what sounds good and what doesn't.

And I think that's more important in itself than actually having, like, the technicalities of making music. It's just, like, being creative and then just, like, being okay with whatever you're making. What is... No, keep on. Sorry. I just have, like, everything you say, I have so many questions, but just keep going and I'll... That's great. That's great.

I guess being a musician is great, doing shows. You know, it's kind of interesting because from an outsider's perspective, you know, You would assume that I've been making money from shows, but it is very difficult to make money doing shows. And, you know, that's not obviously end all be all, but like, I remember when I would go watch people at like 500 capacity shows, I'd be like, dude, you must be making so much money. Like, he's so cool. Like, but in actuality, you're just like losing money because you're like paying for production. You're making this show. Like, you're paying people.

And it's like you're a business that is, you know, alluding other businesses to flourish, essentially. Like, and it's great. I, you know, my, my videographer who is one of my best friends now, well, he calls himself the director now. He has a kid and he just bought a house and I genuinely feel like I provided him a lot of money and he bought a house and he's happy and it's like, you know, it's just like he like fired a bunch of other people, not fired, but like stop working on other projects and like just kind of works on mine and it's beautiful.

And like I have offered the abilities to do that for him. And we both like always reflect and we're like, too, like every time I go over to make a music video, it's more like a retreat because we just talk about everything. We talk about health and and like wellness and everything. And yeah, I don't really know what else to say other than that. But if you have some questions, we can riff on them. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm just sort of you're talking about doing a bunch of shows and how maybe you don't make as much money as you think. So maybe baby no money for real, you know.

you know it's weird because my dad my dad's ran like a house for his business for like 40 years with his with his father and he was like if you spend more than 7% on advertising you're losing and I'm like 7% I've spent I'm spending like 75% of my gross income and it's like oh but I have a weird relationship with money we can talk about later too but uh But yeah, ask me some questions. Yeah, so tell me, you say that you have a feeling of what sounds good. Help me understand where does that come from? Well, when you make music that is just like objectively dog shit for four years

and then you end up making music that is just objectively decent, you kind of just know what's happening. Like I've made like 700 songs probably. And, you know, I don't make music as much as I used to anymore. Yeah, it's a lot. And like only 100 has seen light of day because you make a, bunch of garbage. You just, like, kind of figure it out.

You know, I don't really know how to explain it. You, you know, when you know you made a good song, like, you know you made a good song. And you usually make it really fast. And when you make it really fast, you're like, oh, wow. Like, this one's going to connect. I know it's going to connect. And you have this weird, like, deep, profound feeling that it'll work. Everything will, everything with that song will work.

And just, like, things kind of. magically just put themselves into place where it's like it seems like it's luck but it's not and yeah that i guess that's the best like descriptor of how to know what sounds right or how to know what sounds good you also need to be like pretty tapped in with with what popular music is the sound of popular music at the current state because like for instance look at drake like this next song you know like there's going to be a new genre that's popping because of tick and then, like, little do you know, Drake's going to make, like, the exact same song that's, like, the biggest song in the world. And then his relevancy is still at key.

So that's just how you do it. I don't know if he's necessarily doing it himself. I can't really see him being on TikTok 24-7, but if he is, then God bless Drake. Yeah, so that's so interesting because what I'm hearing from you, Alex, is like this almost, like, duality between, on the one hand, keeping up with trends, on the one. one hand grinding, on the one hand, this sort of very like external process of making music. And on the flip side, also like almost a spiritual process, which has nothing to do with that, which is the sort of like deep, profound feeling that you have where you like, you kind of know that you're like giving birth to something, right?

And it's not calculated. It's not based on trends. And you kind of just feel it and it starts coming out really fast and you just feel really good about it. no 100% I think it's interesting I've done my fair share of

like dabbling with the you know medicinal and non-medicinal drugs and when you're making a hit song there's nothing better like I you know it's like euphoria

I can't explain it like you just like you're sitting there and everything's just flowing out of you and it's like you know I'm not the best freestyleer I'm not the most I wouldn't say I'm like

the most creative individual if I was you know my career would probably be bigger but you just feel it and it's like it's like it's like you know when you like crush on a girl

you know and you like love them for like the first infatuation period it's kind of like that when you're making a song you're like damn dude you start feeling yourself you maybe take your shirt off in the studio and like you start sweating with the boys

and yeah it's like a really really good time and I you know I make I make music with my friends because I'm so much more comfortable with them. And like, it's just like making music with your friends. There's nothing better. And, you know, creating. And that's the beauty of being an artist is like the creative perspective. Like, you know, having to be creative and, you know, you get accolated because you're creative.

And like, you know, when you see that it's kind of like the same concept of being like a stand-of-comedian. I feel like a little bit less hectic because of stand-of-of-comedians are. exclusively like they require a laugh whereas like you know we have more emotions that we can like go with um um but dude yeah life's good i mean so help me understand what do you think it is that allows you to get to that state of connection what are the things that sort of allow you to create your best music what goes into that i mean coffee for sure um I mean, if you're living in the 2022s, you know, and you're not a coffee addict, then you're not doing it right, in my opinion. I have, like, so many gut issues that, like, drinking coffee is, like, a double-edged sword for me.

So I still do it because I'm addicted. And, you know, when I tour, I don't. So when I, when I have a coffee, it's like, wow, it's fabulous. Yeah. It's like, it's so, it's like the one thing in life that is always going to be there and it's always going to be good, you know. I don't know if you drink coffee like that, but I fucking love coffee. But as far as like mentally where my head's out when I'm in that, like in the zone, I have no idea. Because if I knew I would, you know, regurgitate the knowledge of like me pinpointing.

So maybe we can talk. Because I have some ideas about that. I've worked with a lot of different creators, musicians, also like people like athletes. And even when I've worked with people like traders or professional poker players, like we'll talk a lot about, you know, kind of getting into that zone. And I'm especially thinking about people in finance where they sort of like, or poker, where they can almost like predict the future like in an eerie kind of way, right? Where it almost sounds similar to me of your process where you're taking in a lot of

information. but the process of putting that information together is not really conscious. And then like it almost becomes like you have to read what's going on in finance and trends and, you know, what's happening with bond prices and cryptocurrency and all that kind of stuff. But then like it kind of goes deep inside you in some way and then it like, you know, stews for a while and then something comes out of it. Yeah. I mean, I've definitely, because living in Vancouver, British Columbia, there's usually no sun.

So, sads are a super real thing here. And every time, like, there's a period of where I'm staying in, like, the off season, I would say. And then I go to L.A. and there's sun. I'm just, like, so happy. Everything's bottled up. Like, the emotions are bottled up. And I just usually do, like, like, a sporadic spree of writing music. and I usually write like an album in a month

and I just like bang it all out. And maybe that's it. I have no idea. It's very profound. Yeah. It's super profound. You know, I never expected to be a musician. So I'm glad that I've been able to experience these emotions and like

and like do what I want to do every day. Like, you know, people always ask me like, yeah, like, what's it like? And I'm like, what it is? is the best way to describe is you get up in the morning and you get up. You don't lie in bed. I don't remember the last. I mean, last time I laid in bed was,

I was incredibly hungover. But, you know, like, that's the only time I would, like, lie in bed because I'm like, okay,

my body, like, genuinely needs it. Rather than, like, me just waking up on a normal day and be like, oh, I just want to get to work.

I just want to, like, work on this because everything I put into it is, like, directly correlated with, like, an increase or, or more success.

And it's so refreshing and rewarding to be able to, like, have my own hand in things, you know. I have a friend that works at a Facebook, and he was just like, he's just like furious. He's like, dude, like, I'm way too creative for this. Like, I'm doing X, Y, Z every day. And that's all I get to do. And then I'm like, but that's kind of nice. Like, you know, you're doing X, Y, Z. You're getting paid for it.

You have a great, great life now. and you don't have to be creative. You don't have to expend those, like, those stores, right? So I've always just been like, Dan, if I go work at 9 to 5 that would, like, progress my career to the point where it's, like, progressing it, like, actually genuinely progressing it, I'd be stoked, but it's just too difficult.

Like, you know, you know, when you have all these social medias and all these, like, all this data in front of your eyes, all you want to do is just keep feeding the data machine. Yeah. It is, it is, you know, the tricky thing about feeding the data machine, especially when it comes to our mind is the more we feed it, the more it grows and the hungrier it gets. It's nuts, in it? It's crazy. I wish there were no social media, but then I would not be a musician. Yes.

So can you help me understand something, Alex? You mentioned that you'll be in Vancouver, British Columbia for a while, and then when you go down to L.A., you mentioned you used the phrase bottled up in. motions. So I was a little bit confused. Does that mean when you get down to L.A., you start bottling them? Or when you get down to L.A., you uncap them? I just, I cannot deal with not having sun. In Vancouver, it rains like 75% of the days of a year, and it's piss. And, uh, you know, it's sunny in Vancouver now. And it's interesting. My mom calls me every single time it's sunny, if that makes sense. So she's so happy. She's like, oh, I want to talk about the day.

I want to do this, I want to do that. Whereas, like, when you go down to L.A., it's just sunny every day. And people are so spoiled down there. It's not, man. They are spoiled. And, yeah, it's just bottled up. I'm just, like, ready to write, usually.

And then, you know, it's like an expungement of sunlight and vitamin D when you walk down there. You know, I, like, always, my manager always sees me just, like, lying outside on the pavement, just soaking up the raise, like shirtless in his neighborhood. So, yeah. So it sounds like the emotions come out. Oh, yeah. Okay. For sure. And then when you're in Vancouver, you're usually positive because I'm in a better mood to be down there. So it's not like, it's not like I'm, you know, expelling the negative. Well, perhaps I am, but it definitely feels more positive. And so tell me a little bit, Alex, about how you manage. So you mentioned that you develop certain methods or practices that sort of help keep you sane and maybe like you stay grounded with.

Can you tell us a little bit about that? So I do a lot of meditation and I practice mindfulness because my brain will explode. I am just a human and there's too much data and information being passed into my brain. You know, I studied kinesiology at university and I know the benefits of exercise. so I will sometimes slap myself in the face and be like, I need to go to the gym because I'm being anxious for literally nothing. And, you know, I'm having some crazy intrusive thoughts that I just know will be gone if I go for a 10-minute job.

And, you know, I can't really stress the benefit of physical activity. You know, I used to be an athlete. It helps you sleep. It helps you eat. It helps you digest. it helps you be more of a man, be more of a woman. It helps you. Literally, it's the best thing you could probably do for yourself.

So I know that deep down that whenever I, you know, I talk to some fans that are like, oh, I'm like anxious, I'm depressed. Like, what am I supposed to do? I'm just like, I always, I'm like, guarantee you you will feel better if you do like 30 minutes of cardio every single day for like a month. Just give it a shot. And like, they always come back to like, damn, how'd you know? and I was like, bro, it's like, it's not, the information is out there.

But it feels good that I can actually provide some, like, relatively decent information because of my degree, even though I don't use my degree and it's completely waste of my money. But it was, it was, I got educated. It's good. And I learned how to copy from text and not get caught. So would you look at that? Do that kind of answer the question? Yeah, so you mentioned you meditate.

You mentioned that exercise is really important, especially for managing some of your thoughts and stuff. When you say meditate, can you help me understand what you mean? Well, I just do like guided meditation. You know, it's impressive that like a 10 minute to 20 minute of just like breathing, like proper breathing and like forcing yourself to relax and forcing your like train of thought to be somewhere else is like, Dude, it's nuts how much it helps sometimes. Like, if I'm overwhelmed, I like, I have to take a step back.

And because it's just like, what's the point of being overwhelmed? Like, I already have gray hair. I don't need any more. And I think that's one of the probably the best things that I've been able to teach myself is like actually forcibly taking a step back when things are getting too hot. How do you know when things are getting too hot? Oh, I can feel it. You know, it's like your nervous systems just firing.

Like, I was talking to my therapist a couple days ago, and she was saying, like, yeah, when you're in a room with someone that is feeling hot, like, you can feel it and, like, subconsciously feel it because, like, nervous systems can, like, kind of, like, communicate with each other. So I found that really interesting because, like, I've been in several situations where people are, like, you know, hypothetically mad at me, or hypothetically sad with me. and hyperlaught frustrated with me and you could feel it. So without like them, you know, addressing their issue where it's like if you're in a room

and someone who wants to say something to you but doesn't know how to communicate with you, you can feel the angst. And sometimes when, when, you know, whether or not you can feel the angst or like you have the angst, it's just like, dude, like take a step back. Nothing matters, you know. And back to like the first point that we discussed is, like in the end of the day, nothing fucking matters

unless it's family. Help me understand that. Dude, it's like family, friends, people you love, and that's it. Like, nothing matters. Like, that's it.

That's the only shit that matters. Obviously food, because food is, oh, I love food. Every type of food, man. Being able to tour and eat food is the real actual blessing of being.

an artist. But I have a gut issue, so I don't get to eat too, too much food. But typically like Asian and like Asian cuisine, it's like my favorite. But yeah, nothing matters. It's weird. My videographer and I, we do a fair share of hallucinogens and like healthy, obviously. And it's great to be able to ground yourself with those medicinally. And we've, we have had so many conversations where it's like, dude, like nothing matters. And I'm like, you know, you are right in the end of the day. It's like having him in my life matters more than the business that we do together and the money that we might make. 100%. And like, what other things in life are like work, enjoyment. And that's it. So it's like, you know. Can you help me

understand a little bit about what role hallucinogens play in your, what do you, what do you get out of using them? Like, what do they do for you creatively? I don't really make too many things creatively on them, but when I do a lot of work, sometimes I'm like, yo, Shrez, I'm coming over. And it's kind of just like a reset, you know? It's like an emotional reset where for that period, you don't have to deal with anything that you've dealt before, and you can just live in that exact moment. For instance, like LSD is, it's great. It's like an intertwined experience that it's like maybe the perfect definition of Yolo. You know, like Carpe Diem, live in the moment. And you just live in that exact encapsulated high, for instance. And everything is super, super

intertwined in every single point and every single memory is, in my opinion, is stored as one. and you know I don't do it that often but when I need it I'm like damn I really need to like like think about things and and can you help me understand what is your sense of when you need it like what do you detect within yourself that sort of tells you like signals to you hey it's like it's time for this when you're ready I don't know okay like you just know it's just like uh I don't no, that's a good question, actually. I, uh, because I definitely will never do drugs when I'm not in a healthy place. That's just like stupid. So perhaps what makes that stupid? Because it will drive you down. And I've been, I've done, I've done mushrooms when I wasn't in a good place. And, you know,

I think it was a expelling. I did a ton of expelling, but it wasn't a positive experience. And I believe that life should almost exclusively be positive. And, you know, surround yourself with, like, my team is amazing. I, you know, I was at the Juno's. And everyone in my team is so positive and so charismatic and loving. And, you know, you don't find that that often in the music biz. And usually it's more like just business is business. But I, like, the wholesomeness is what I kind of strive for.

for both people that I work with and people that like genuinely care about everyone else's well-being and it's really nice and uh you know like having like I read this book called the non-violent communication I can't remember that Marshall something I don't know you probably read it great fucking book for for business for relationships for this for that for family and it just like has offered me the ability to like really grow and and and figure out the most effective ways to communicate and to have a safe workplace and like emotionally safe workplace and whatnot. I don't know where I was really going with this point, but when I know I need to do them is just like, I just wake up one day and I'm like, fuck it. Let's go have some fun. And, you know, I don't do

it. I don't do it because I need something. I think I do it because it's like, oh, I like, why not just have a little reset, you know, like a little press reset. But, you know, it's like that button. It's like done or it's done. I don't know. Home Depot button. I don't fucking know. That sounds good.

So maybe what it. Yeah, I've got let me. Can I think for a second, Alex? Think all the way. I'm going to get some water for my teeth. Rebecca. The thoughts are browsing. Am I well lit up enough?

I think I am. Yeah. The only thing is sometimes when you move, you move out of focus. But that's not when you like lean back in your chair. That's really the only thing. but otherwise it's fine. So, Alex, I'm going to kind of push you a little bit. So when you say nothing matters, so there's this kind of idea.

Like when I see a successful creator or when I imagine other people see a successful creator, the way that you live your life doesn't seem on the surface to the way you live your life doesn't seem like it's a guy who doesn't think anything matters, right? You're kind of talking about doing more shows. You're talking about grinding. You're talking about kind of hustling. You're talking about, you know, waking up. You made 700 songs, 100 of which the, you know, that does not sound like someone who, for whom nothing matters. And I, it gives me life. It doesn't, okay. It's hard because I'm, figuring out how to

perpetuate the nothing matters. I think that truthfully, I know deep down that like me making a new song, it's, it's,

nothing matters. It doesn't matter. It doesn't, you know, it's like, because it just doesn't. Like, I do it for myself, absolutely. But like, I'm just a speck on earth. You know, like,

we're all. all just specs on earth. And, you know, I think the only thing that matters is, like, personal growth. And, you know, my goal for this year is to become, like, obviously, it's probably a little bit of a difficult ask, but, like, become, like, the best person I've ever been in my 26 years of life. And, like, whether that's, like, just having better relationships and, like, owning up the things that I've done and and like really just coming full slate clean and like that's what matters

you know that's what matters it's rather than like you know making money like I I love making money my dad grew me up you know it's a capitalistic society and we got to play the games sometimes and uh and I'm very fortunate to have made a lot of money and I'm you know I'm safe and it's amazing it's actually like it's beautiful um and I think every single one of my fans Um, but it's like, nothing matters. I, I don't know how to explain it. So, so I, maybe, maybe we can clarify. Because I don't, I don't think what I'm sort of hearing you maybe say is that the stuff that

people traditionally think matters, like money and fame and success, that the more you've come to understand yourself in this world, those aren't the things that matter. And, and sort of like if, if you make a 10 songs and none of them see the light of day, like that actually doesn't matter. Is that fair to say? Is that what you kind of mean by that? Yeah, 100%. Like, yesterday, I was like, I don't know how much longer, longer I'll do music, you know? It is pretty grueling sometimes with touring and whatnot. But I mean, I could just like drop music and not tour. But I was thinking, I was like, damn, like, you know, once I'm done, like, I'm going to do something that actually matters. Like, you know, start a nonprofit organization. I live Vancouver,

and there's a really, really bad, like, drug problem downtown. on the east side and it's like you know it's the warmest place in Canada so most homelessness or homeless people come and they they get like train tickets to come to Vancouver um and it's bad and I've I've lived here my whole life and I donate a lot of money to the the woman's center and I like 90% of all the free clothing I ever get I just give it down I just I'm like I'm not going to wear this shit like you know so I just give it to people who need it um And I've always really, really always wanted to do something positive, like very positive. Like I wanted to be a doctor and I wanted to help people.

And when I broke my back, I figured out how to be empathetic and because I, you know, I actually went through an experience that was really traumatizing. And I was like, how can I like, how best can I help and give back? And I was like, well, I could just give back from being like an athlete and understanding that people go to physiotherapy but never actually. fucking do their exercises. You know, it's like, so I knew that. And I, like, from first experience, and I was like, okay, well, that's what I'm going to do. And then I feel like I've helped a ton of people with my music. And it's, you know, it's an honor.

And I feel blessed to have the ability to just make shit in my bedroom and, like, make people happy. You know, it's great. But I feel like I want, it's very hard to materialize sometimes through, through the internet. And, you know, I'm sure like, what do you mean by that materialized? well unless I'm doing shows like I don't see my fans you know like I don't like every time I do a show even though even if it's sold out I'm like

is anyone here? You know like just like it's it's like kind of like that surreal feeling where it's like what the fuck like what is going on this makes no sense I shouldn't be doing this but I am and all of my friends are like Alex

like if the show is sold out people will be here relax and I like I just had this weird aura around me that's like, you know, whether or not it's like a perfectionist perspective, I don't know, but. What is that aura around you? What is it, how does it affect you? What does it create in your mind?

Well, you know, growing up, I, my dad and my mom are pretty traditional and like, they were like, work them to a pulp type thing. I started working at my dad's business like when I was like eight, nine. You know, pay it under the table. Let's go. We got a little money. And it was great. It was super positive.

But, you know, I'm a workaholic. And it's like, I just want my things. I want things that I work on to do well. And I'm, I'm, you know, there's two sides of me because it's like, I don't care. I really don't. I don't want to care. But then I do because it's like, you know, I'm putting. my personality, I'm putting my emotions in my music, whether or not they're like ridiculous

emotions, sure. But, you know, I put a lot of time and energy into my music that I want things, you know, as anyone would, right? It's like you write a paper that's 70 pages. Ideally, you pass. So it's, when I was growing up, you know, I was the youngest of the family. And I kind of had it a little bit easy in comparison my brother and sister and I feel like there's always just been like a weird little sense of like you'll work harder work harder work harder work harder um like not necessarily like you're not enough but like it's just like that workaholic has been distilled in my in my soul my dad was working like 82 hour weeks before COVID hit you know my sister's junior PhD in psychology and my brother works his ass off being a photographer and my mom's Swiss-Danish.

So me showing up late, never a thing. So that's kind of like where I grew up and like that was like the vibe in the house. So and you know, I'm fortunate to say that this is the first time my grandparents aren't doing too well unfortunately. And this is the first time I've ever felt. family distress and it is such a fucking blessing. And I'm so thankful that I grew up in like a house that was very supportive and very strong and very healthy. Dude, I can't even.

When I have kids, I got to do exactly what my parents did. And I just like, I can't thank them anymore. As soon as soon as they're ready for me to buy them a house and buy them whatever they want, like that's, I'm all there. Like anything they want. just like can't repay them anymore. It's fucking amazing. So Alex, I'm noticing that there's a lot of two sides to the coins when I hear you speak. So like, you know, kind of on the one hand, you're sort of saying, you know, there's this workaholic tendency. And then on the other hand,

like nothing matters and like what's important is important. You know, on the one hand, you're very calculatingly, because that's what you got to do in the business, right? Like, stay up with trends, you know, work on your socials. like, you know, cultivate that kind of thing. And on the other hand, like, none of that stuff really matters, you know, you could, you could focus on making music or you could do shows that you feel really grateful for the opportunity to, like, help people and support people and inspire people and make good music. And at the same time, you kind of feel like really disconnected from them. Even when it comes to things like health, like you're someone who really

prioritizes your health. And at the same time, sometimes you're hung over from time to time and things like that, you know, you kind of go too hard, maybe eat a little bit too much, you know, and even when it comes to things like the positivity, it's like, so when I, when I sit with you, I get the sense of someone who's very optimistic, someone who's very hopeful, but we sort of see, or I'm sort of hearing, like, you'll use words like grueling, right? Like, like, what you're setting yourself up for is going to have dark moments. And what I'm kind of curious about is like, so I, I always always, almost see you as like just all of these, I think on the surface, people may think they're

conflicting. I don't necessarily think they're conflicting. I think it may be like integrating opposites as opposed to conflicting. But I'm kind of curious, like, you know, can you tell us a little bit about like the grueling part and like the hard part and like, because most of the artists I've worked with, I mean, I think it's the shit that makes their music and art so profound. It's not the highs. Yeah, 100%. Or, you know, it's the dawn after the dark night. And what I'm getting from you more today is the dawn.

And maybe we're just catching you on a good day. But I'm super curious about sort of your creative process and what you've been through that's hard or, you know, like, can you share a little bit more about that? Yeah. So I guess there's like two sides of the business, right? It's like the music, the music itself and then like touring itself. and music is chill totally fine just make it put it out hope it blows up fingers crossed do a lot of marketing make a bunch of tic-togs make funny Twitter posts and have fun with it and uh but touring

sometimes it's tough um you know I have been dealing with like chronic sleep issues for like four seven years so I'm sleep deprived like almost 24-7 and I'm probably burnt out for the past two years. And when you're touring, especially if you're flying, it's like you go to bed at maybe one, you wake up at four, you go to a plane and you rinse and repeat for months. And, you know, it's amazing. Like, I love it.

Being on stage is what makes it beautiful. but it's just like it's exhausting and it's you know I'm said I said I said I said this shit out myself so it's obviously my my fault but so I can't I can't really be like the one to be like I don't want to do it but uh but I do I really do I like genuinely do but sometimes like for instance I have vocal fry right now and I've drank like 35 liters of water in the past two days three days. Like, I probably pissed out all my electrolytes.

And I get scared because I'm like, oh, shit. Like, if I blow my voice right now, like, the next month is gone. And, and, like, that's the stressful thing. I used to be totally fine with doing shows, but I ended up blowing my voice in Australia one time. And then it just, like, has never really gotten better. And then I developed this, like, thing called SIBO, which is, like, small intestine and bacteria overgrowth. and I can't eat dairy, can eat sugar, can't eat gluten.

So the touring I'm eating is not ideal as it used to be, because I used to eat the good good all the time. But, you know, I go for Vietnamese food, and that's like the one thing I love the most. But, yeah, it's just difficult. Like, it's, I didn't expect it to be as tiring. But it's all worth it because, you know, you get to see the people that make your life your life.

It's like, I do it. I do for myself. I made my music because it's an outlet and I, I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do. But I do it for my fans because, dude, it's like, you got to, you got to repay them somehow. And like, the easiest way and the best way to do it is, like, you throw down a good show.

And, like, you take pride in your show and you show them that, like, this is a reason why I listen to this guy. know, this is a reason why I, I, like, fuck with his music and it's sick. He's great. He's a nice person. And, like, I've always felt that trying to be, give every single person as much time as as humanly possible is, is, is, like, the best way to do because they've given me, they've given me time. Time is money. And, you know, I, I can buy time when I get older. Alex, if it's, you say it's all worth it. If it wasn't worth it, would you be able, would you know, would you notice? Would you let yourself say so? Yeah, 100%. I'm pretty aware with when things aren't worth it.

I don't know what else I would be doing regardless. I do want to go back to school when I get older. I want to get like a degree in nutrition and work for like a rugby team. But I don't know. I really think it is. I really think my life is amazing and I'm so happy to do what I do. What do you do with the parts of yourself that doesn't feel like it's amazing? Those parts that, I mean, because this is sort of what I'm getting from you is like I understand that I see that you're resilient. I think the challenge is that I think there's so many artists who don't, who can't do what you've. done.

Right? They're the ones that wake up at, you know, you go to bed at one in the morning, and then you wake up three hours later to catch a flight. And in the grand scheme of things, I think you've developed a healthy amount of detachment is what I would call it when you sort of talk about nothing matters. And we can talk about spirituality and stuff in a second. But like, bro, like, that sounds rough, man. Right?

Yeah. You know. You're sleeping on flights, I just wish. I wish first class wasn't so stupidly expensive and sleeping on flights was like applicable for me. I saw I put like I put my mask on. I put earplugs in and then I, you know like the neck pillows? I wear it like this. So it's like a little like telotubby and I like put my head on the side.

Yeah. And, uh, dude, yeah, I just wish I, I would, I got like, I mean. Fuck playing, dude. I hate planes. I know. I mean, like Alex, there's a part of me that's a little bit worried that you're kind of like you're eating up your life energy for the sake of what you do. Like, you know, your guts kind of going out, like, you're having trouble sleeping. Like, I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a mole heel here, but I'm, you know,

it's, there's a part of me that's, like, concerned about the price that you're putting yourself through. Uh, I don't really know what to say to that. I mean, my dad, I was hanging up with my dad yesterday and I fell asleep in the, in the living room. He's like, bro, it's 4 p.m. I'm like, yeah, but I'm tired. And he's like, he's like, you know, you're burning it. You're burning it too hard. This life you lead is too hectic. And it is, but it's fun.

It's, it's, you know, I love it. I am in, I love it. I, uh, how much of it is, is that you love it and how much of it is that you can't afford to do it any other way, right? Because I'm sort of hearing, because I, I, I think I'm hearing both. You know, I hear a lot of genuineness. And if my questions are offensive, please let me know.

But I'm also like wondering, because I think part of the challenge is that when you love it, it's so much easier to sacrifice yourself for it, you know? Oh, 100%. There's no. Right. And then like the hustle rolls in and then the social media and you're doing so many shows. And it sounds like you're not making a whole lot of money. And then like, you know, like here you are like wholesome, like doing it for the art.

and like this is the music industry man like someone's making money it just may not be you know what i'm saying no no it is pretty cut through this business um i don't know i really i you know that's probably something that i should like i well that's something i know that i should think about more often um you know i i had this manager antonio and we ended up splitting because it was just COVID and no one was happy with anyone. No one was doing well. No one was happy. And I remember we got on a call and we had like a debriefing like four months later type thing. It was like a full-blown breakup type thing. It was pretty funny.

And now we're friends now and we work together again and it's great. But we were like, dude, we were killing ourselves. Like just straight up like ruining our lives. and, you know, we had a long conversation about it because we were, you know, like we were spending like 18 hours a day just like trying to market my music and trying to push my music out.

And like, you know, it was like statistically doing infinitely better than my music now and like, but it's like at what point, at what cost? I do definitely, there's no question in my mind struggle with, work life balance. And I know I have that problem, but it also comes from people who aren't as passionate.

I just lost you there. What do you mean? It comes from people who aren't as passionate? It comes from people who aren't as passionate about, not necessarily what I do, but about things. I, when I focus fire on things, I focus really hard. And I, you know,

I love things. And when I love, it's like, it's a, it's a, I love. So I, uh, I've been trying to work on the work life balance within myself type thing. It's like, rather than just like going to do things, I've been trying to figure out specifically, like, what I need from both. Um, but it's, it's difficult, you know, that's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do in entire life because I just I love doing what I do you know and I feel like a lot of people don't have that ability to say that they do and it's like it's a goddamn blessing for me you know I wonder if that blessing comes with an obligation obligation in what sense like you know since you love what you

do does that mean that you can't take a day off you know since you are so lucky if that comes with sort of like a certain amount of like, you know, on the one hand, you wake up every day and you're ready to get out of bed, which is awesome. Like, you have a lot to be grateful for. And also, it's like, if you didn't feel like getting out of bed, would that be okay? Yeah, I hear exactly where you're coming from. A good example was my friend Young Gravy blew up and I was still at university. He was still at university, too. And I, uh, I just remember being like, I need to take this up a notch. I am obliged because I have to do this.

No one else who's granted the opportunity to have a frequent collaborator, like the most frequent collaborators of both of our BS, blow up. And then I'm just like, dude, like, we have an EP together. Like, this is go time. Like, so I stopped, like, partying and I started drinking coffee at three in the morning and, like, sleeping less. and just like working my ass off because I was like,

I have to do this because I look down in the future, I'm going to shoot my feet, you know? Like, I'm like, why didn't I try? Like, why didn't I take this opportunity of a lifetime? And maybe that's kind of where it came from, you know, like... Alex? I, like, yeah, I don't know.

What does it take to succeed in this business? A lot of it is luck. A lot of it is facade. A lot of it is... What was that facial expression? I asked you, what does it take to succeed? And it's interesting because you're so positive. And I was expecting a positive answer.

It takes passion. It takes love. But you're like, oh, fuck me. It's... I don't know. I mean, one, the biggest thing. The biggest thing is just good music, if you can make it. And two, is a lot of it.

because at what point if you're making good music often are people not going to want to tune in you know that's just like that's just like a recipe for success you it's like same with like clothing you make good music or good clothing often why wouldn't people want to buy it you make good food all the time new recipes why wouldn't people want to come to the restaurant you know what I mean it's like you just have to be innovative you have to be creative you have to be always on your toes I'm hearing what it takes is all the time. That's all the time, 100%. If, if I, like, I did my first 10,000 hours before I blew up.

So, you know, if that, if that's a consolation, how much work this fucking shit takes? Tell me about, tell me about the luck in the facade. Well, you, you got to be interesting. I mean, I'm very fortunate to have presented my branding online as me. and I don't have to do anything else. I don't have to be anyone else, and it's great, and I don't have, like, imposter syndrome. And I, you know, I'm very happy that I've done that.

And I just get to literally be myself on a constant basis. And I think that's also, like, a selling point with my brand is a lot of people like me. I'm just a nerd, you know, I'm just like a gamer kid. Like, I'm wearing a Diablo 3 t-shirt, you know, like, and I feel like people can relate to that. and I'm glad that I have been able to offer people a ton of, like a safe place to relate to. Whether or not like my music is PG, but I mean, fuck it, who cares?

I'm not hearing much of a facade. I'm kind of confused because what I'm hearing is that this is actually like authentically who you are. So what do you mean? Well, no, no, no. That's for me. That's what I'm saying. I just like, dude, I met so many musicians and they're not at all,

like what they perceive themselves to be online. and it's like yeah you can fall into the world where you become that person that you've created but you need people to live vicariously through you

so you need to be cool you need to be interesting enough intricate whereas like it's so it's so interesting because I take Twitch as an example and streaming is everyone's

real on it there's just like no point of not being like unless you know unless your doctor disrespect on like legend you know like perhaps he is a little daughter disrespect inside but like there's no way he's like every day walks down and with coffee and he's just like wearing sunglasses and there's a green screen in the back you know it's like he's obviously like there's some of him there but it it's way more difficult because you've got to be on fire for like seven hours right and and that's just that's just not for me like i did twitch streaming for a while and there'd be days where I'd be like slam a coffee

and be like go crazy and then my voice would be hurting afterwards and I'd be like, dude, I gotta just not do that. I'm just gonna watch Master Chef and just follow the beta or the, yeah, like the Master meta. If that kind of answers the question? Yeah, I, you know, it's interesting

because this may sound kind of weird, Alex, but you're just really different from most of the people that I've worked with. Like, so I'm all for gratitude. all for appreciating things. But like, you know, I don't, I, how can I say this? Hit me with it. It's not, it's not a bad thing.

So I was hoping that when we had this interview, there are creators out there, budding musicians who could watch this and learn something from it and could really take away something about what's made you successful and apply to. to their own lives. But what I'm really hearing is that there's just so much about, you know, what you have that I think it's hard for people to take that away, right? Like, I think it's just so hard for people to take away. And that's why I'm so curious about where your understanding, where your gratitude,

like, where does this come from? Like, I can't tell if you're, I can't tell. The gratitude comes from all of my friends being like, Alex, wake the fuck up. What does that mean? Take a day off. Take a day off. Enjoy your life. Go outside.

Touch some grass, you know? But that's where that comes from. That's where, like, my support group and my friend group is unbelievable. And I couldn't have asked for a better friend group. And, you know, couldn't ask for a better group of real people that don't, yes. man me and I send them a song and they hate it. They will say this is trash, Alex, fucking go eat an egg. You know what I mean?

So that's where that comes from is like I'm blessed to be around great people. But I mean, when it comes to like the, to provide information of like how things have been done in my business is like, I don't know how else to put it other than like just drop music all the time and do a ring of the social media. Don't don't discredit a social media because you might blow up on one social media first and like just update it every day if you want. Update it once a week. Sure. That's all you got to do. That's like and you just got to make good music.

You just got to make good music. So however long it's going to take you to make good music should be the moment when you. realize or the moment that you're like, all right, now things might work rather than, rather than from the get, you know, like, I know so many musicians in Vancouver that like, I've been working on an album for four years. It's like, why haven't you put more music out? Because like, no one's going to care about the album. And it's like, you need a fan base to, you need to utilize your fan base and like that fan base needs to help you um and if they believe in you they will they will share it they will come to the shows they will post the shows they will um they're your team in the

end of the day and it's like it's great i don't know does that yeah yeah yeah so let me see if i i i think maybe i had a bias in and of myself in that i wanted a romantic answer you know i wanted like, like, there's no romance here. No, I mean, I think that that may be, that may be the message. Like, so what I'm hearing is like, you know, here's, here's your formula for success. The first is make a shit ton of music. Yeah. Most of it's going to suck. And, and that's just, that's how it is, right? Like, it's like a numbers game. And the more you make, the greater the chances, like to cat, like, it's almost like you're trying to bottle lightning. Like, you got to,

to catch those sparks. Completely. That is it. Unless you're the type of guy that's like a just like a genius, a genius like songwriter, like, but there's 10 a generation. So that's just not the case. And like nowadays,

there's just so much music. And like if you don't compete with the output of music, there's 46,000 songs on Spotify every single day. new songs new songs every single fucking day and it's like point zero zero zero one percent of those get above like two for two thousand streams isn't that crazy like absolutely mind blowing and it's like how do you beat be through the like whack the weeds you know like how do you get through the weeds and it's like you just need to reach out to people you need to collaborate you need to that's the one thing I've actually noticed with with content creators I guess that's like the best

terminology to say like YouTubers and Twitch gamers is they're very open to collaborate very very open and it's you know whether or not it's like a little biased perspective because I am baby no money like I have a brand and it's like completely separate from the world sure but they're very nice people the music biz not so much. And it's way more cliquy. It's way more, um, the, just like, kind of,

I hate to say this word, cloud-based. And it's like, if you don't have your shit up, if this shit's not going, no one cares. And it's like no one will care. And it's like, it's difficult, you know? I feel like, whereas like the gaming world, dude, it's so nice. Everyone's sick.

And I love playing video games and people. It's like, everyone's just funny. You know, it's like, that's it. No one is like, no one's making sad music because they're sad or like sad gaming because they're sad. Everyone's just happy, upbeat. Like, obviously people have their own shit they're dealing with for the most part. But like, you know what I mean?

It's like, it's a completely different like tone. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I, there's just so much I'm sort of starting to put together. So one is like, you know, it's this sort of tension between. And so what I'm really noticing about your life, Alex, is that you're like, you're walking a tightrope in so many different ways. So there's like, you got to hold on to nothing matters because if you let things start to get to you in this world of social media and stuff like that, like it's going to tear you apart. Right? You can't let that aura of negativity start to take control.

And balancing that is that you, in the music industry, it is about cloud. it is about who's popping off. It is about, you know, because there are 46,000 songs a day. And in a sense, like, in the industry, everything matters. Yeah. And like what I'm hearing about kind of your kind of, the way that you've made it is, first of all,

it's just make a shit ton of music because some of it's going to be bad. Most of it's going to be bad. But also that you've got to grind, like, on all the other channels, too. Like, it's like, you know, you got to keep up with social. socials, you got to do shows, you know, you got to spend everything you've got. You've got to be able to take criticism. And then also like in order for you to succeed, just given how much that squeezes out of you, right? Like it squeezes so much out of you because you got to like you got

to be getting on airplanes and you got to post on Twitter. And you got to be making music somewhere in there. Right. And so then how do you survive that? Like you got to have solid friends. You got to have people to keep you in check. You got to have people to help you unplug. I found the, you know, the first couple tours were like, okay, like, I'm going to party. You know what I mean? Like, why not? Like, this might not last.

Ended up lasting. God bless. And, dude, first tour was a shit show. Just don't, like, I don't party much. The last time I party was at the Junos, and I, like, really partied because, so the Junos is the Grammys of Canada, pretty much. And I got to perform, and I said on live television that I was no longer a virgin. And it was just, then I dapped up the health minister of Canada afterwards and Sean Mendez.

And it was just like the funniest shit I've ever done in my life. And like, it was so invigorating because it was on live television in Canada. And, you know, I think I tapped the bell for Canadian culture at one time. And I was like, okay, got a party. I just like, I need to rage. And I don't party anymore because I have my gut issue. And holy shit, that set me back. If I was legitimately on tour, I would have had to cancel shows.

Like, I was unable to speak for the past three days. And I haven't spoken. This is pretty much the first time I've had a conversation. And I'm glad because I'm using the muscle again. And I got to go tomorrow. But just don't. Just treat yourself with respect when you're touring. That's the only way you're going to make it.

Like, you, you, unless you're just like, Motley crew, which is hectic, but I don't know if it's, it's just not healthy to do that. And you, you won't last. Like you just, you, you will burn out so fast. Yeah. I'm, yeah. I'm hearing just to keep up the pace, you've really got to, you know, everything from ginger tea to exercise to trying to sleep right. Because like, I mean, it's going to take every ounce you've got and it's going to take a little bit more. And so you've got to figure out how to stay on top of things as best as you can. 100%. And, you know. And I think what's what's sort of sad about that answer is it's not this sort of like deep creative struggle, right?

It's like it's waking up on time. It's like staying free of gluten and dairy and making it, make it, make it, make in hundred songs that will never seat the light a day or 600 songs in your case. It is the struggle, man. It's the struggle. Not being able to eat pizza is a fucking struggle. Oh my goodness gracious. Dude, bread is so simple, the simplest carb ever. And you can just, like, and it just feels as you, pastas.

So, so simple, but nothing. It is what it is, though. Cool. Yeah. Any questions for me so far, Alex? Anything that you're kind of curious about or anything that I've mentioned that you want to talk about? No, man.

I, uh, unless you, unless you have like a, uh, if anything is like sparked a trend thought process in your head where it's like, there are these weird you know it's like every single conversation always falls at one point and it's like every single thing that i state is like is like there's a note where it's like oh that can probably be reiterated because of this i would love to hear that yeah so yeah so i've got a couple of thoughts one is that i think um so i think you're pretty self-aware and so you remember i was asking you like how do you know when it's time to take a day off Yeah. And I think what's going on is that you can almost think about it like hunger or thirst,

where now I'm starting to see a little bit better that like, you know, given your work ethic and given your schedule and stuff like that, that like there's almost this like hunger meter or like I need a fucking break meter that is kind of like in the back of your mind. Like how do you know when it's time to eat? You just some part of your body or mind just kind of tells you, right? Yeah. And that's how you know. And so I think. that's I think they're just you are pretty self-aware and so I think that you've got certain dials that are kind of you know tuning up a little bit and then you kind of really need to take a break because it does sound like you kind of ride yourself pretty hard. I think another thing that I think

we could talk a little bit about or I could share because I know also you know you've got vocal fry and stuff and maybe I can I can do most of the talking for the next 10 or 15 minutes. But we could talk a little bit about spirituality, meditation, and the creative process. So, you know, I think a certain amount of it is definitely grind. But as you were saying earlier, like, I would almost describe or based on the work that I've done with people that, you know, it's a state of consciousness where you're like, it's almost like the flow state, if you've heard that term. But where we're kind of ego is out of the picture, metrics are out of the picture. Like, even you are, kind of out of the picture. And what you really are is like a conduit for music. And then everything

is kind of flowing. And you kind of said that it happens rapidly, right? It's not like this analytical editing towards perfection kind of process. It's like it's very spontaneous. Yeah. I'm not surprised to hear that. So the thing that I've always struggled with in terms of helping people get to that state is I've noticed that some people, I do think, not necessarily in the moment, but that substance use maybe a week before helps you get there in a weird way. I do think that using substances gives people the impression that they can be in that state, but oftentimes they're not quite as productive, less true musicians and artists that I've worked with. And some people will use hard drugs and just be like super creative.

I think they just pay the price over time and it's not really sustainable. But I think that there's, you know, and I would also kind of echo for you as well that all of the intellectual stuff is important following TikTok trends and stuff like that. But then like I do think that there's this process where you pull all that stuff in. You know, you're paying attention. You're really working with your mind. But then the creation of music is when you transcend that process. You kind of like bring it all in. and then you stick it in a pot

and you let it ferment and then what comes out is different from what went in. Yeah. You know, it's almost like brewing beer where it's like, we're going to put in hops and we're going to put in this source of sugar

and we're going to put in this and we're going to put a little bit of this making wine and we're like, we're going to put in these different kinds of, and then like what you get out of it is something that is its own thing. And you may not even be able to detect the components. But I think that flow state

is actually really, really, important. Totally. And cultivating. And I think that's where I'm not surprised or I'm happy to hear that, you know, you do exercise, you do take care about your diet and things like that. Because I think all that stuff has to be there in order for you to really channel that state of consciousness. Because the thing is you can't call it up.

It's not a skill. Even with all of your experience, you'll enter into it. And you'll be kind of like, you know, it'll be coming out of you. And then you'll lose it. And those 600 songs that never see the light of day are when you're trying to create and you don't access it. And so that was just one thing that I, you know, I just thought was kind of interesting because to hear you really talk about that kind of deeply profound sort of state that you get in where it's like, you know, like it's almost, it feels transcendent to me. Yeah. No, I mean, it is, it's honestly just a regurgitation.

inspiration is kind of like a regurgitation of what you take it in for the past xyz so your point is very accurate um and you know sometimes they even even lyrically sometimes i will take inspiration uh from something that is relevant or something that is like newly relevant uh or unfortunately sometimes sometimes i just think don't update my music afterwards i write it and then sometimes there's just like i remember there's one song i put out in like 2019 it was like 2017, what up. And then, you know, it's just like, but whatever, it doesn't matter. The other question.

The other question that I had for you is, can you tell me about Kendrick Lamar? He's a goat. Like his last album, this song, We Cry Together. I don't know if you listen to Kendrick. Not much. But his last song, or his last album is great. And there's a song called We Cry Together. and it's like a five-minute song with, I think, some actor, a voice actor or an actor,

but it was him arguing with his significant other. And it's just genius. Like, I don't know. You've got to go listen to it. They're just arguing. It's pretty much like the heated amount of an argument from typical relationship shit into them going to have sex. And it's just yelling, swearing the whole way through.

And it's just there back and forth. And it's like, how is this a song? And, you know, it is a song. It's just genius. And it's like, you don't, you, we're living through a time where he's, like, going to be, like, a legend, like, a, like, undeniable legend to the point where people 100 years from now may listen to Kendra Kumar. And that's a blessing. What is it, what is it that makes him so good? What do you respect about his work?

It's very contextualized, which a lot of music nowadays has no relevancy towards other songs. For instance, my music. And he, you know, in a day and age of singles and just one type song drops, he still drops albums that are albums. And, you know, a lot of other musicians do it, but he does it just better than most. that's pretty much it it's just admirable can you help me understand what do you mean by contextualized

like everything sounds like it fits like as an album as an album yeah like you listen to like Pink Floyd you know back of the day it's like when you run it run an album you run the album

you have to listen to it in full because it just makes so much sense they were the first people ever doing like beginning and end of songs that were running into the older songs when they like it would keep on the vinyl it would go through right so and they were the first people to do that and like look at them legends you know um like i recently just listened to a bunch of pink void again i was like holy shit they made some hits like really good songs and you know

they went down in in history for sure they're they're they're still you know there's still history that like it history in the making is right now with kind of of mar and like some of these other greats and he just he just embodies like an album really well um and it it it's it's almost like he's painting a picture his his songwriting ability is is fabulous um and it's very vivid almost like a good mad cities by one of my favorite albums ever and there's like a there's a scene where he's talking about like how his his friend shot in what's it called?

And there's so many sound effects and there's so much like imagery just distil it in your brain when you're listening to the song and it's like, holy shit. Like I can see this photo. I can see it happening. And not many musicians have that ability.

You know what I mean? Like I can say like pee-pee-poo and stuff like that and fun stuff. But like my next next album, I'm really going to spend I'm going to dial it in and I want it to be the best work of art that I've ever made, unquestionably to the point where it's like,

you know, it's one of those things you're nod to your head, you're like, all right, like he did his thing here. And then at that point, I don't know what I want to do with music afterwards, but that'll probably come out next year. And I'm excited to like go to an island and get a studio and stay at this island for two months and turn my phone off and just let it let it all out.

So, um, But that's why I like Kendrick. Kendrick is really great at painting a picture that not many music can. So just to see if I kind of understand what you're saying. So like the first thing is that in this world of content creation, right, which is such a, it's such a soulless kind of like algorithmic. You know, like we're moving from blogs to vlog. to video essays to TikToks to, you know, a world from blogs to Twitter, right, 160 characters. Everyone's making standalone songs.

And Kendrick is making an album. He's elevating it. It's like back in the day, like, I mean, I don't even know if you're going to remember this or if you were. When I was growing up, like, you know, episodes for cartoons that I used to watch were narrative. They were like one episode and it has no connection to any of the other episodes. And nowadays what we have is we'll have like TV shows that are like narrative, right? They tell like one story over the course of a season or multiple seasons or things like that. And I'm almost hearing you kind of say that what Kendrick Lamar does is his whole album is like, as you mentioned,

contextualized. So it all fits together. So everyone else is making like, you know, one liners and he's just building something that's larger, which is so much harder to do. I mean, he genuinely also has the ability to do that. Because, like, musicians nowadays, like, if you just, you got to drop singles until, like, you get a fan base. And, like, he's one of the biggest in the world. So, if I was at his level and I didn't drop, like, an album that was, like, all front to back type thing, then I'd be doing a ginormous disservice to myself.

Sure. Because, like, that's what I want. That's what every musician wants. They want to be able to dial it. in and write exactly like a perfect album. You know, they want, you know, obviously music is incredibly subjective,

but they want to be able to write a front to back type thing where if you have that big of a fan base, like... You can afford to do that. You can afford to do that. Yeah, absolutely. Whereas, like, me, like, singles naturally just do infinitely better than album songs. Like, if you go into any one of my albums,

like, my album tracks, like, on a good, day, they'll be doing like six, seven million in half a year, whereas like a single probably will be sitting at minimum 15, 20. And, you know, it's just like arguably like it's a night and day type of effect. Sure. So, yeah, Kendrick's, Kendrick's gate, great as hell. He's the best. And it also sounds like he's able to use music to paint a picture, which is, you know, which which is so interesting just from a neurological perspective. Like I'm so curious what's happening in the brain in terms of how that happens. You'd be surprised.

It's funny because we know absolutely jacked shit about the brain, right? So maybe in the future, well now. But I actually like, I want you to go listen to we cry together after this. Sure. And I will. Just experience it because it's not something that you turn on at the party. It's barely something that you turn on with the boys. It's barely something you turn in the car.

It's like you listen to it. And you're just like, wow. Like this is like a work of art. This is like literally art. So it's great. And Alex, what I'm also hearing from you is that, you know, this is going to be your year to really make the best music you've ever made. I mean, knock on wood.

But yeah, January, February, I've already told all my producer friends and all my friends. I was like, do we get, I was like, we got to dial it in. I like exercise, beach front, you know, like eating wherever island I'm going to be on, eating local food, everyday fish, you know, like living the life of, of, of a successful musician, but more importantly, making what I really, really, really have been dying to do and like, like actually dial it in, you know, and like. Yeah. however long it takes.

Yeah, I think it's going to, it's interesting because you talk about sort of living it up, but what I'm sort of hearing is that you're going to need every percent that you can get. You're going to need every drop that you can get to really create what you need to create. At the level that you're talking about when dialing it in, it's like you're going to need that atmosphere. You're going to need the sun. You're going to need the fish. You're going to need the waves. You're going to need it all because it's going to take everything you've got.

to take more so you better set yourself up for success. No, 100%. I'm, I actually, like, haven't been excited for something in a while, and, like, I'm really excited. Because, like, I finish all my shows in December 18th. And then I'm going to probably do Christmas with my family and then, and then I'll leave. But, yeah, it's going to be sick. I'm going to have so much inspiration because it's so difficult to write music on tour

because voice and this and that. Yeah. So it's going to be great. I'm excited for the future. Cool. Yeah, I mean, I feel like we're at a good point to stop. What do you think? I'm all for it, man.

I really appreciate you jumping on and allowing me to vent and, you know, I like hearing things back to me. So I think, yeah, no, I was going to say I really appreciate you coming on and explaining Kendrick LeVar to me and a lot of other stuff. But I really just love to hear about your creative process. and sort of like, you know, what it takes and what you've been through and how you manage it. And just in terms of the picture you painted in my mind of what January or February is going to look like, all I can say is like, I wish you the best of luck.

And I think this is what you've been put on this earth to do, man. So you've got to, you got to. My friend's mom talked to a medium. And I was like, she was like, can I mention your voice or your name? And I was like, sure. Like, whatever. Like, I love the mom. and she was like

the medium said you're put on this planet to make music so maybe maybe she was just regretting what you were going to say and yeah I think I am

I you know it's not the best but it will be so that's the goal right words to live by yeah thank you very much man oh man thank you

I as many I ate like six halls during this and drank like four cups of tea. So we're hydrated and now I'm going to go get some food. So thank you for your time. Sounds like a plan. Thanks so much for coming on. Best luck to you, man. Take care. Cheers, Bob. Have a good one.