HealthyGamerGG - Talking With an Actual Incel? | Dr. K Interviews

Episode Date: September 10, 2020

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Oh, there we go. Can you see me? Yeah, I can see you. Okay, hold on. Yeah, sorry. I wish I prepared for this a little bit better. That's okay, man. We, you know, a big part of the stream is technical difficulties in poor preparation.

So, yeah, you're right at home, buddy. And what's your name, friend? You just call me Ganny, like last time. Okay. And so for those of you who don't know, Ganny, was on the ban appeal stream, is that right? Yeah. And you were, did you get unbanned, by the way? What happened?

Yeah, no, I ended up getting unbanned. Awesome, dude. Congratulations, Sam, and welcome back. Thank you. You know who unbanned you? I think it was Jake that unbanned me. I don't know. Incorrect. Who was it? It was Twitch Hat.

Twitch had, oh, yeah. Yeah. You offered your case to Twitch and Twitch found you worthy of mercy. Well, thank you so much, Twitch, Chan. Yeah, man, I think we're, we're rooting for you, Ganny. So tell me a little bit about what we're talking about today. Well, as far as my understanding goes, we're talking about the, because last time when I was on the ban appeal stream, there was, the issue came up about whether or not I'm an in-sell. So I guess it's about better understanding what it means to be an in-sell or what, uh, whether or not I guess I qualify as an

install and what, like, what that's all about. Okay. Yeah. So, uh, can you tell, can you just recap for people like, and for myself? Like, what, what was the reason that you were banned? I know we don't want to get too much into that, but. Well, I was banned because of some comments I made that were, like, considered, uh, either insensitive or not safe for work or, offensive. Okay. And so what's your understanding of like, you know, when you came on the stream and you said, hey, this is what happened.

Do you have a sense of like what Twitch hat resonated with in terms of like why they thought you should be unbanned? Well, I think it's because they saw my ability to look back at some of the things I said and maybe reflect on them. And I guess like some people, I'm not sure if everybody liked the fact that I laughed at them, but I think they kind of were able to appreciate the fact that at least I was able to find, like, at least I was able to look back and reflect on maybe how the kind of things I said and what that meant. Yeah, absolutely, man. I think that's a great way to put it. So I think we, you know,

appreciate people. I think we're, as a community, we're here to like grow and learn from our mistakes, right? It's not about being perfect. It's about learning from where you misstep. And I think in that way, again, you actually exemplify, you know, what we want to build, right, is a place where people come and they learn something about themselves and hopefully they grow from it. So thank you very much for coming on last time and just being a part of the community and hanging out on Discord. I'm really grateful to you, man. Yeah, no problem, man. So tell me a little bit about, I mean, this term, Incel, do you think you fall into that category? Yeah, nay. Well, I think by definition, like if you think

about it is just somebody who's involuntarily celibate, somebody who maybe wants to get a date or wants to be able to be sexually active but isn't. I would say I fit in that category in the sense that I mean, I've tried many things. I've tried approaching girls. I've tried doing all sorts of things to try to get, I guess, girls still like like me, but none of it's really worked. I've gotten rejected a lot. Okay. And I think there, and I think the part about the insult, the insult terminology that, I guess a part of it is about resentment towards women. Okay. And I think that in some ways, I harbor some sorts of resentment, but I don't, I see that as

more of a negative thing. I don't see it as like, I see it as like unproductive, the resentment, I think. Sure. So can you tell us a little bit? There's that word approach again. We had that word on Friday. Used a lot. And so, Gany, do you mind if I ask like ballpark of how old you are?

I'm 19. Okay. And how old, do you have a sense of like how old you are before you become an in-cell? Like, do you have to try for a certain amount of time or is it just sort of like? Well, I think I've heard the number 24 thrown around, but I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not quite there yet. I have a few years. But I think, I think in some ways, there are certain things that are determined, like, at a very young age, like your parents.

or your social skills that can also affect your ability to attract women, I think. Your social skills are determined in an early age? Well, but I think it depends on how you're raised and depends on the environment you live in, I think. Okay. Okay. And your appearance is determined when you're born? Yeah, although I guess there can be changes in appearance when you get older, like if you work out or even if you don't. Like sometimes your face changes, you grow into your face a little bit more. So I guess that's why some people don't consider people who are like teenagers or younger to be insults necessarily. And so if we're talking about sort of what was determined when you were born,

do you feel like you kind of got a particular hand of cards dealt to you when you were born? Yeah, for sure. Can you tell us about that? Well, I think as far as my appearance goes, like I'm not wearing a mask. I mean, there are many, a couple of reasons why I'm wearing a mask, but I think one of them is insecurity about how I look. And I feel like appearance for me, at least recently, has been a pretty significant issue when it comes to like self-confidence and self-esteem, I think. So I think that's one of the cards I was out with when I was born.

And I think that's, I honestly think that appearance plays a very big role in attraction just because, like, Like, I feel like, I feel like the way you behave also does, but two, two people with like, varying levels of attractiveness can behave the same way and it'll be taken a bit differently. You know what I mean? Sure, absolutely. I remember seeing this, uh, cold, I think, Tinder profile or something where some, some, someone made like a profile of a, like, with like a male models picture and basically said in the, um, the, um, someone made like a profile of a, like, with like a male models picture and basically said in the, the blurb that in the Tinder profile that he was either like a convicted sex offender or a pedophile or something really bad and and he still got bunches of like you know women swiping right is that swiping right is accept or reject except yeah okay yeah so you say you're insecure about how you look and appearance certainly plays a role um how does how long have you been insecure care about how you look. I think, well, I've, um, I feel like I've been insecure about it for maybe a few

years now. I think for a while, I just didn't care about it, but that's because I wasn't really concerned about like attracting women that much. So I wasn't really super concerned about how I looked. To me, how I looked is just like a side effect. There was just something very small. So I never really paid too much attention to it because I didn't think it was necessary to pay attention to Okay. Can you just tell me a little bit about how you grew up? That's a bit, like, what specifically? I'm sorry. I'm just curious, like, you know, what was it like growing up for you? Who was at home? Well, I live with my, I've lived with my mom for most of my life.

And I was mainly, I mean, like, are you talking about like home life specifically? Sure, yeah. Yeah, no, I live with my mom and she's had like, partners and stuff, like boyfriends and stuff. But my parents divorced and I was pretty young. So yeah, what was my mom mainly? And I saw my dad on like weekends and stuff. What was your relationship like with your mom and dad?

My relationship with my parents, in some ways, well, in some ways my relationship with my mom was kind of, it was pretty close. But it's also kind of complicated. and my relationship with my dad has been a little bit distant, but he's been there like, well, I feel like when I've needed him, he's been there's some of the times, I think. He's been there some of the times. Yeah.

And is there, can you tell us what you mean by when you've needed him? Can you share like a, like, what's a time, like what's an example of that? Well, like, um, there's just been times. Like, I feel like when I was growing up, I, I, uh, I never really, like, I, certain things like how to talk to like girls for instance or how to talk to like other people. I feel like it's something that your dad can teach you and my dad wasn't really like talking to me about that stuff as much or if he did try to talk to me about that, I wouldn't really want to

talk about that. So I would just think. So yeah. So I'm trying to get a sense of I mean, so if you weren't sort of taught how to do this properly, is that because your dad kind of dropped the ball there or is it you almost mentioned like you maybe didn't want to talk about it. Well, it's like a mix of both. I just kind of didn't care at that age. I didn't really start to care about like talking to girls until I was like maybe 17. Okay. And do you think where do you think you know what a bell curve is? Yeah. Where does that fall in under the bell curve of when people get interested in talking about girls? I feel like that's pretty late. Although like I was interested in girls. Also, I was interested in girls in like middle school. And then

but then throughout high school, throughout most of high school, I just wasn't interested in girls really. And can you tell me about what school was like? Well, I went to a very small school. So there wasn't really a lot of like different kinds of girls. So I wasn't really attracted to anybody at school. So I just, to me, like school was about hanging out with my friends and like like learning and stuff and it wasn't really I never really thought too much about girls because to me the girls that I was grew up with were not very attractive so I just kind of didn't pay attention to them I see so it seems like the girls that are worth paying attention to are people that are attractive well the kind of girls like I guess the girls I was interested in dating like I wasn't interested in dating anybody in school until I was like 17 okay and what happened when you were seven Well, when I was 17, I started to get attracted to this one girl who I, uh, that at school, that kind of got me interested in girls again. And, um, I think that was when I started thinking about like, oh, why don't I have a girlfriend or when can I get a girlfriend is when I started like

trying to get this girl's attention or trying to, I guess, get this girl to like me. Can you tell us about her? Yeah, well, I mean, the thing about this girl is like at first, I talked to her and I was pretty upfront with my intentions. Like I told her I was into her and I asked her like out on a date, but she said it was really weird because she rejected me. But then for like a week straight, she would like text me like almost 24-7 and constantly keep in contact with me. And then after that she just kind of dropped off and stopped talking to me. how do you understand that well i still i still it's still hard to wrap my head around just because i don't know why you give somebody so much attention after rejecting them and what why you would um like what

i was like it was she kind of into me but then i was thinking if she wasn't to me she wouldn't have rejected me unless if like she just i don't know like like i i i don't really know what the what she was trying to communicate with that kind of interaction yeah that's a damn confusing situation. Yeah. Can you tell me what you mean by she rejected you? Well, she just said she wasn't ready for a relationship, so it wasn't straight up, but it was like, it was kind of like a little bit left in the air, but it was like,

she just said she wasn't ready for a relationship and she didn't really want to date me specifically because of that. But she didn't really straight up. It was hard to really tell if she was saying, like, I'm not interested in you or I'm just not interested in a relationship right now in general. So, okay. So when she said she wasn't interested, and you like, you like walk, like, can you walk me through like what happened?

Like you just walked up to her and you said, hey, I'd really like to take, like, what'd you, can you walk, do a play by play of the interaction? So I think there's, well, I messaged her on Instagram, I remember. And I, I think I, at first I was just asking how she was doing. and then I was asking like how she was like I was just trying to start small talk I guess it's kind of weird to go right from that to like oh I like you uh I can't remember the exact messages but um how much time between the small talk and the stating your intentions uh I think I don't as far as I remember well there wasn't a lot of time no are we talking like minutes hours days or weeks

I think minutes or minutes to like maybe like 10 minutes. I don't know. Okay. And what's your perception of like what's in her head? Like do women walk around and sort of have kind of a conscious understanding of like, okay, these are the three dudes I'm willing to date. These are the seven dudes I'm not willing to date. Like how does that work? Well, I mean, what I've been told in the past that like a lot of the times

girls know whether or not they're attracted to you, like, within, like, seconds of meeting you. And that, uh, there are certain guys that they were just to be attracted to and certain guys that still just not be attracted to. And it's not just looks, but based off of certain factors like looks or like personnel, like, like, like, like, when you say you've been told, where, where, I mean, who told you that? Well, I've talked people on the internet. Okay. It's actually a pretty good source of information. What do you think about it, Ganny? Well, I think it makes sense to me because, like, usually I know who I'm interested in pretty quickly. Although, it does take me a little bit of time.

Like, I feel like there are many girls that I'm, like, attracted to. Like, I think they're attractive, but I wouldn't necessarily date. So maybe it does take a bit more time. I don't know. Okay. So it sounds like you know who you're attracted to pretty quickly. Yeah. Okay. And what do you think could be, happening when when you talk to someone and you say hey how's it going do you like the weather small talk small talk and then you're like hey i'm really interested in going out with you what do you think are the range of possibilities of what could be going on inside the person that you're talking to when you transition from small talk to like letting someone know that you

like them like the range of sorry can you say that again the range of yeah like What are the range of things that she could be experiencing? Well, maybe it could, like, take her by surprise. But I guess it wouldn't really take her by surprise because a lot of girls kind of know if you just start messaging them randomly. Like, a lot of girls kind of expect that you're interested in them if you're randomly sending them messages. You know what I mean?

How do you know what a lot of girls expect? Well, because I assume at least that girls get messages a lot from, like, guys that are trying to hit them up because they're, like, interested in them or whatever. Okay. So it sounds like an assumption on your part. Yeah, no, it's definitely an assumption. Okay. So you said that maybe she feels surprised, but then you sort of walked that back and you thought maybe she doesn't feel surprised. So what do you think? Is surprise a possibility?

Yeah, it's just a possibility, but I'm not 100% sure necessarily. Sure. So what else is a possibility? A possibility is maybe that she expects it or she's just waiting for you to say that because she kind of expects that you're going to say it. Sure. So she's waiting for you to ask her out. Yeah. What else? Um, well, maybe she, maybe she, maybe the girl might perceive it as being like, uh, like there's something, there's something wrong with kind of saying that. Like it's uncomfortable. Like she might feel uncomfortable with randomly being like going from like small talk to like being asked out. I don't know. Sure. She could feel uncomfortable. What else could she feel? This is great, great hypothesis generation.

Annie? She might feel, I don't know, I can't think of anything else, I'm going to be honest. Okay, so maybe she feels fear. Yeah. Right? Like maybe she's afraid of what this means or something like that. Maybe she feels joy. Maybe she's like you said, been waiting for you to ask her out. Maybe she feels valued or important. Like flattered? Flattered? Absolutely. Yeah. Right. Maybe she's, like you said, she feels confused because maybe she feels like more than one thing. Right? So maybe she's flattered and confused. Maybe she's been waiting for you. I think what I'm kind of sensing though is that there's just a lot of different things that she could be feeling. What do you think?

Yeah, no, that makes sense to me. Okay. And so if someone's feeling a lot of different things and you ask them a yes or no question, like, hey, do you want to X, Y, Z? What do you think they'd say? Well, it might be a complicated answer just because of all the things they could possibly be thinking. Yeah, so generally speaking, it's been my experience that when people are complicated and confused, they tend to say no. Oh, really? Yeah, that makes up to me. Right? So if I called you on the phone and I'd say, hey, let's say I DMD you like three days from now. Hey, Ganny, how you doing? You're like, I'm doing well, Dr. Kay. And then I said, Ganny, I have an amazing investment opportunity for you.

Are you interested in hearing more? Oh, I thought you were going to ask me out, but... No. That I think you would expect, right? Yeah. So I think sometimes people just say no when they don't really know what to think. What do you think about that? I mean, I never really thought of it that way, but I mean, that's a possibility.

Like, I can kind of see how that logically follows. Yeah. Because oddly enough, Katie, I, you know, I don't know how to, say this, I'm just going to go out and say it, but like, I think it sounds like she was actually kind of interested in you, but much like yourself was like a confused 17 year old who didn't understand what she was feeling. What do you think about that? Yeah. I mean, it seemed kind of possible, but then afterwards she said she rejected me because of religion or something. So I don't know, I don't know what that was about, but. Yeah, I think that it sounds like she had some.

So the interesting thing there is that if we really tunnel down and look at the reasons, what are you hearing the reasons that she said no because she gave you two different reasons yeah what were the two reasons the two reasons is the religion and she just wasn't ready for a relationship what does that say about your attractiveness nothing what do you think about that well i mean i'm sometimes i'm under the impression that like even if she doesn't feel ready for a relationship if she's like attracted to you that that whoever it is will just kind of like especially when some people are young and like aren't necessarily thinking ahead that much like I feel like if they're attracted to you they're less likely to think ahead and less likely to think oh I'm not ready for this they kind of just want to

get involved in it I don't know yeah I mean do you think what percentage of the population do you think that describes well I think it makes sense that it would describe a lot of young people you know what I mean? Like a lot of people who, I think young people have a less foresight in general. Sure. And so what are we talking about? Are we talking like 90% of young people are willing to throw the future to the wind? 50%, 30%. I don't know. Yeah. So I mean, even if you say 50%, it's like she's maybe there's a coin flip, whether she's someone who's like has bad judgment, basically. Yeah, I guess so. Because what you're sort of describing to me, sounds like bad judgment. It's sort of like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about the future. I'm just going to do whatever I feel like because I'm physically attracted to someone. Yeah.

I know this sounds bizarre, Ganny, but in my experience, most people are not like that. What do you think about that would make sense. I think there's a lot of assumptions that are made about, I think specifically women a lot of the times, like about an attractiveness and like what women are willing to do if they're like attracted to a guy. I don't know. I feel like, Where do you where do those assumptions come from? Well, I think a lot of, I think a lot of the, like, there's a lot of stuff I've read on the internet, like a lot of, uh, that assume a lot about, like, I think what women are thinking or how women act or how women react to like, I guess like chads or like guys that are considered like really attractive or whatever. Yeah. So what I'm really curious about is where does stuff come from? Like where, like, I guess like Redfield, the, like, uh, Redfield community or like, no, no, I.

I understand that there are communities, right? But like, where does the original information come from? So I get that there's like a bunch of people who communicate with each other on the internet. They sort of describe what female behavior is like. But what I'm curious is like, where is the root of this knowledge? Well, I think a lot of it's from men, so I guess. I guess men's perception of like how women behave, I guess. Okay.

And what do you think about that? Well, I think, I mean, I think there's value in like, I guess men who interact with a lot of women and like maybe how they, they're, I guess their perception, but at the same time, I guess there is a reason to believe that maybe it's not the most reliable sources of information when it comes to like how women are. I don't know. Yeah. So, I mean, let's let's just be critical for a second. So like on the one hand, it makes sense, right? Because we have observations. right? So men make observations about the way that women respond to them. Agreed? Yeah, it makes sense. And so based on my observations, like you made it an observation. So you've concluded you're kind of like in soon-to-be in-cell. Like if you hit 24, like you're concerned about appearance, you think women are not attracted to you.

Is that fair to say? Yeah, I think that's fair to say. And so based on this experience, like you use the word rejected. Yeah. To describe this interaction with this woman. Whereas the weird thing is I'm not hearing that you were actually rejected. Really? Yeah.

It sounds like you asked someone out on a date who wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I mean, they did kind of more reject me afterwards, but I guess it first. That too. I don't think she rejected you. I guess the beliefs I had. Yeah. I mean, so let me give you a different interpretation, Gandy. I'm not saying mine is right.

It's just there's a different way to look at the story. So she is actually physically attracted to you. And she's taken by surprise that like you're making small talk one second, then you ask her out. And then she kind of panics because like a lot of times when you're, you know, when you're taken aback by something, you just sort of like panic and you're like, oh, I don't really know how to respond. Or she has her own anxieties. Maybe she doesn't want to seem too easy, for example, right? because they're like groups of women who also will make assumptions about men's behavior. And one thing that they'll tell each other is that like you can't come across as too enthusiastic.

Otherwise, he'll use you and dump you. Does that make sense that women would propagate that? Right. So then she's like she's really confused because actually she really likes Ganny and she's been, she's excited. But then she's like, oh, like my friends have told me not to say yes right away. So she says that or maybe she's just not ready for a relationship. maybe she's 17 and she's not really sure what she wants and then she starts messaging you as you put it 24-7 now that indicates to me that like she's interested in you in some way because why would she

message you all the time afterward and i'm not sure no say what you're going to say so so i'm not sure exactly what how you responded to those messages but then it sort of sounds like maybe she was interested in you but ultimately decided that she didn't want a relationship with someone who maybe there was some kind of religious conflict with. But even then, that actually implies to me that, like, if she's giving you that as a reason, it sounds like she was really like considering pros and cons. And that actually what happened is like, if you cite that as a reason to turn someone down, it usually means that there are actually a lot of things in the pro column.

Like a week of deliberation followed by, hey, I don't think it's going to work out because of religion, sounds to me to be more the result of deliberation than like, you know, knee jerk, you're ugly. Yeah. What do you think about that? I mean, that makes sense. I think that is a different way to look at this situation, although I do kind of recall, because we had a lot of mutual friends, and I do recall hearing something about, like, how you wanted to, like, let me down kind of easy. So I don't know if that could be part of it too. I'm great.

I'm so glad you brought that up. So now we get to a really interesting question, right? Which is like you could make the argument that you're very unattractive and she's using the religion as an excuse. Yeah. And then actually she thinks you're just like ugly. Has that thought crossed your mind? Yeah, it has many times. Okay.

So now I've got a question for you, Ganey. How do we know? Right. Like let's say, let's say, let's say I read. you and then I give you a reason. How do you know if the reason is right or the reason is wrong? Well, you would have to, I guess, go off of like the person's, I guess you look at the person's behavior, like their history and like how much the reason

lines up with like how consistent it is with how they actually conduct themselves, I guess. Absolutely, right? So you can use observation to determine if they were shitting you or not, right, pulling your leg. That makes sense. I think the tricky thing is that you seem to be adopting in my mind an unfalsifiable hypothesis. Do you know what that means? Yeah, no, I know what that means. Can you explain it to us?

It's like a hypothesis that can't be proven wrong or that no matter what is going to be proven right, I guess. Whether or not it actually is true or not. Sure. And do you have any sense of what could be, when I say I think you're adopting a potentially unfalsifiable hypothesis, Do you know what I'm referring to? Well, I guess that there's no way to prove that she necessarily is interested or there's no way to prove the fact that she isn't interested necessarily wrong. Right.

Or that like, like, so she's giving you reasons and you're choosing to kind of hot, like, supplant those reasons with your own. Yeah. Right. And I think the interesting thing is that the reasons that you're using are based on the insecurity about how. how you look. Yeah, that makes sense. So the funny thing here is that what I'm hearing is like your insecurity is actually what's in the driver's seat. So yeah, so let me put it to you this way. Let's say I'm an attractive dude, but I don't believe I'm an attractive dude. And if someone tells me, hey dude, you're you're pretty attractive. How do I respond? Does it change my, does it change my view?

No, not really. What happens? What do I say in response? Well, you can Do you think they're lying or you think you think they're saying that to you to make you feel better? Absolutely, right? So then like then that's kind of tricky. Like, Ganey, what do I do about that? Because no matter. So some people and then what happens is like when I ask someone out on a date and they say, no, sorry, I'm not interested in a relationship right now. What do I think?

You think, oh, it's because you're not attractive or because you don't think you're attractive, basically. Right? Yeah. So now, now how do I come out of that? Well, you come out, you come out of it thinking you're either less attractive or you come out of it like with your hypothesis proven correct or in your mind with your hypothesis correct. Yep. So I'm asking you if I'm stuck in that position, how do I get out of that position? How do I change? I guess you could change by either changing your hypothesis or I guess making your hypothesis something that is more reasonable. I don't know. No, but that's not going to happen, right? Because like we just saw that the, the, the,

two biggest reasons, least that I can think of, that would change my hypothesis, one of which is people would disagree with me and try to explain to me how I'm wrong, or that I actually get evidence to the contrary from another person, or not evidence, but let's say they'll say something else. And both of those I'm going to knock back. What I'm kind of curious about is like, how can I move out of that? Um, like move out of the, I guess to say, I like, move out of what again, sorry?

Move out of the idea that I'm unattractive. Um, I don't know, because that's what I've been trying to do for like a long time. So it's, I don't really, I'm not really sure. Yeah, I'm not sure either. So let's say something else. So let's say you're walking down the street. And, and a woman who is incredibly attractive approaches you and says, hey, you're kind of cute.

Do you want to buy me dinner? what do you think then well i feel like then you would be i would think i would think i was attractive because like i feel like if i wasn't the girl wouldn't approach me or say that to me okay i disagree i don't think that's what you would think okay

what do you think i would think i would think that this is something i i would think that you would think that there's some kind of trick here like i i guess i would i would probably be the kind of skeptical like I would be like what's her in what are her intentions I guess yeah right because like she sure as hell isn't going to actually find you attractive yeah right like you're not it's not going to change your mind like your insecurity I don't think is going to get wiped away by a perfect 10 approaching you on the street and and sort of expressing interest in you what do you think yeah probably not right so I mean, this is kind of just tricky because I'm not really sure like how you can, you know, because it sounds like even when people tell you things that are contrary or don't support your view of things, that for some reason your mind swats those reasons away, like because of religion or whatnot.

And you substitute it with this idea that I'm unattractive. Yeah, I think so. Hmm. Any thoughts about that or questions? Well, I think I think the fact that I'm or the idea that I'm unattractive comes from like more than just, uh, I guess encounters with girls. Like I feel like I feel like there have been multiple encounters with with girls that have like made me think that not just that encounter with that one girl. And I feel like I feel like if it's, I feel like if something keeps happening over and over and over again, you start to see a pattern and you start to kind of try to explain that pattern with some sort of factor or you know. I completely agree.

So, so let's just run through that. Let's just recap, right? So when you see a pattern, you try to come up with a good reason for that pattern. Agreed? Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Now, here's the really tricky thing is that I think this experience that you described, you're saying is fitting the pattern, whereas I think your mind is cramming it into the pattern. Yeah, I guess, like, we're talking about the experience with the girl that I just mentioned.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess in some ways my mind will make it fit the pattern no matter what, whether or not it actually does. Which is interesting because then the pattern that you're developing is not necessarily based in fact. It's based in like your mind cramming a factual experience into a particular interpretation. Yeah. I guess that isn't very productive way of seeing it. But it's like I can't remember. I'm trying to think of a word to describe this.

But it's like, I guess, cognitive bias or like it's like when you haven't a hypothesis in everything that you, you find a way to make everything that you experience through that correct? Yep, exactly. So we all do that. And like that's normal. It's called a confirmation bias, if I remember correctly. But, you know, at the same time, we don't want to assume that this is just a confirmation bias, right? Like if you really believe this, Gany, there's got to be like a decent reason.

It's not like you started with a confirmation bias. Does that make sense? A confirmation bias only applies if you all. already have a hypothesis. Yeah, that's true. So then the next question becomes, yeah, go ahead. I feel like, oh, sorry, can you say the last thing again that you were saying? Yeah, a confirmation bias only applies once you already have a hypothesis.

So the idea that Ganny is unattractive can then be confirmed, but it has to come from somewhere. Yeah, I feel like that hypothesis comes from like multiple. like I saw the last stream and the last guy had like 300 rejections. I'm not quite fair, but there are being like many girls that have rejected me and I feel like and like I had a girl like okay I've some of the rejections were like from IRL girls but there have been some from like girls online and people are online are a lot harsher. So I've had a girl literally say it's because of my looks because I'm not attractive like I've had like online girls will like literally just say that like straight up. They won't even like mince words. Can you tell us about that? Well, I didn't actually ask this girl out, but somebody said, like, somebody asked her, oh, would you date me or would you date this person? And she said, no, I wouldn't want to date a guy who was that ugly. How did you feel when you heard that?

Well, it kind of upset me a lot because I was, she was like pretending of me my friend or she was talking to me like as my friend for a long time. And then all of a sudden she's like, oh, no, this guy's ugly. And I was like, I was kind of surprised that she would say it. So, like, she would say it like that. Like, I feel like even if you don't find somebody attractive, if you're their friend, you wouldn't say they're ugly. You would just say, I'm not personally attracted to them.

Sounds quite hurtful. Yeah, very hurtful. What happened to that hurt in your heart? Well, I kind of, yeah, I kind of internalized it. and I kind of, I guess I really took it to heart because I was thinking that this must be what all girls think if this is what she thinks. I don't know. It started to become something that you believed about yourself. Yeah, for sure. So it sounds like her opinion became truth.

Yeah. Did you resent her? In some ways, I resented her, but in other ways, I kind of was like, oh, figures, like, because it was already, aligned up with my hypothesis part of me found it very easy to believe and it was very easy to digest so i just thought of it like i was very upset about it but in another way i was like go figure like of course she thinks that hmm so it was sort of confirmed what you already knew yeah pretty much that sounds like real evidence though because we're talking about you know interpreting certain words it doesn't sound like you can interpret that a bunch of ways

Yeah, it's pretty straightforward. Yeah. Can I think for a second? Yeah, go ahead. It's interesting. I actually have an alternate interpretation. Yeah, what is that? Right, so why do you call someone ugly? Well, I would say you call them ugly because you think they're ugly, but I mean, I don't know. Incorrect.

If you think someone's ugly, what do you call them? Well, in many cases, you call them attractive to make them feel better. to make them feel better. Absolutely, right? Or what you normally do is, is like, you'll say, like, yeah, I'm not interested in that person. Yeah. When do you call someone ugly? Well, I guess, I don't know if this is what you're getting up, but maybe the person

might be secretly attracted to you in some way. I don't know. Not only secretly attracted, I mean, yeah, that's a real stretch, buddy. Although that can happen, right? So sometimes people have something called reaction formation, which is that they like, They denigrate that which they feel embarrassed to want or that which they cannot have. Yeah. Right.

So that shit happens all the time. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, that makes sense. So what if I tossed out that if the reason that people call other people ugly is to hurt them? Yeah. That makes sense. And what if I were to say the most powerful or common reason to call someone ugly is to try to hurt some.

Yeah, I mean, that seems reasonable. Right. So all you have to do to test that hypothesis is go to any third grade playground. And you'll have people calling each other ugly all the time. And what are those kids trying to do? They're trying to offend the other kids or make themselves feel better. Absolutely. So if you actually tunnel down, I don't think most people, like, even if you're not attracted to someone, I very rarely heard or I cannot think about many cases or any cases. where someone actually calls an ugly person ugly to their face unless there is an intention to hurt them. Yeah.

Which is interesting. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Nope. Go for it. When I talked to her afterwards, it was kind of weird because it's like she didn't even see what was wrong with her saying that. Like she was like, oh, no, I wasn't trying to like say anything. But she said like, oh, she said I was feeling entitled.

Like she said I feel entitled to have every girl be attracted to me. Like, I am, like, wrong for saying that I should be insulted by somebody calling me ugly. Yeah, man. So I don't know how else to ask this question. And I don't know if this is going to make any sense because it's a fucking abstract, weird question. Is that shit about you or is it about her? Well, I feel like it's about me, but it's also partially about her because... Buddy, that's about her.

Yeah. So, like, if she's on a social crusade to put entitled men into their place, because men feel entitled to have all women be attractive to them? Like, I don't even know where she gets that. Is that something that you... Did you do something that she felt like she had to put you into your place? Because it sounds like someone else asked her, hey, would you go out with Ganny or not?

Yeah, no, I never even expressed attraction to her or said I was attracted to her at all. So I don't know how to say this Gany, but that has nothing to do with you. That has like, that has everything to do with her issues. Yeah, I can kind of see that. right? Like, why on earth, it just doesn't, does that make sense? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me, unless, like, there's some context I'm not getting. No, that makes sense. And it's just weird, because people don't call, like, even if you're not attracted to someone, you don't call them ugly. Yeah. I mean, I've never, that's pretty rare. Like, I haven't heard somebody actually say that besides her,

really. So, and so, I mean, if she's saying that you feel entitled to have all women be attracted to you, like, where's she getting, like, where's she getting that from? Now, we got to be careful because we got to make sure there's no cognitive bias here that you're blinding yourself to something. Because there are some people who are like in cells or chads or I don't even know what to call them now. What do they do feel an entitlement towards women? Have you done anything that? I think I do kind of have a sense of entitlement just by nature. Like, I feel like they're having times where I've gotten pretty, like, well, I felt pretty salty towards women who rejected me.

and I have, like, I think I, like, one of the chat logs, like, if you read it, it said that I don't really feel entitled to think that, like, I wouldn't go out to grow and say, oh, you're, like, I'm entitled to you for you to like me. But I do feel like in general, like, in a fair world, everybody would have at least like one person that's attracted to them, you know what I mean, or one person that, but I guess we don't live in a fair world, so. No, hold on a second, but you do have one person's attractive to you. Do you think so? Yeah, that first girl. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Right?

I mean, she's... Like, she sure as hell didn't call you ugly. And it sounds like she was into you for like a week while she was sorting through her feelings. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, I mean, I do hear a lot of words that don't seem to be from your mind coming out of your mouth. Uh, what explain what you mean by that? like you see it's like I hear like platitudes like oh in a fair world there would at least be one person

attracted to me but it's not a fair world so fuck me I guess that sounds like the resentment of the internet it doesn't sound like an act like I think it resonates with you I think that perspective validates you I think that perspective makes you feel not alone and not like an idiot which someone who's insecure is going to look for a lot of ways to not feel like an idiot. And there's also a really subtle thing there, which is that if it's an unfair world, Gennie, it's not your fault. You just do the short end of the stick. It just feels like even though it's not my fault, it really sucks. And it feels kind of like therapeutic sometimes to complain about like how unfair things are.

Like, I feel like I do got to get something out of it. You're damn right. I think you get a lot out of it. I think this whole community gets a lot of it. So I think this is a very confusing thing where a lot of people assume that like in cells are dumb. Like the Chads and the Stacey's think that y'all are like dumb and losers and rejects and all that kind of stuff. I don't think so. I think that you guys are, you're definitely getting something very important out of this.

What do you think you get out of calling yourself an insult? Well, I think it kind of shifts blame away from you or it shifts. it kind of, I guess, says something more about the world than it says about yourself in some ways, I guess. Yep. And so then what do you get to do if it's not your fault? You get to, I guess, as they would say, like, lie down in rot or not do anything about it necessarily, like just waste time? Absolutely, my dude. And boy, don't we love that. If there is one thing that we love here on Twitch and in the gaming community, It is to lie down and do nothing, right?

We love to bitch and complain and do nothing. What do you think? Well, I see some truth in that, but I do also see some truth in the fact that I am constantly trying to improve. I think it's just about finding the discipline to do to behave like that consistently or to consistently do things to improve. I'm really, really happy, and it gives me hope that you choose to disagree. even someone. Yeah. Well, thank you.

Because I gave you an excuse, right? I gave you the perfect excuse. Go ahead, my dude, Ganny. Lay down and do nothing, bro. And what did you say? I said that I don't want to lay down and do nothing. I want to change myself and get better. Absolutely, man.

And I'm behind you 100%. And I think that's why you came on stream today. And I think you are going to change. And I'm not trying to wrap up. up here, but I feel like it's an important point here. I think you are going to change, and I don't think you're going to be alone forever. I really don't. Well, thank you. Yeah, I hope not. I mean, I like to think that maybe I have a future, maybe there is a possibility for something more. Yeah, I don't know how else to say this man. So I'm going to sound like a real boomer here,

so I hate that I'm about to say this, but I feel like it has to be said. Dude, do you know how long five years is? I mean, it feels long to me because I'm pretty young, but it's, it's, it's, no, dude, it's such a long time. Imagine, just imagine how much you've changed from 14 to 19. Yeah, no, it's crazy. And five years is a really long time. A lot of people don't get laid in high school or even at the age of 19, right? Like, some people get late after college.

Like, it just, everyone's at their own pace. Yeah, the average age to lose virginity, isn't it like, around 16, though, like it's, uh, at least in the United States. I don't know. I would be surprised if it's that young. Yeah, no, it's like 16. And even then, I would be careful about the phrase average. Because a mean is biased towards outliers. I think the important question is what's the median age? Yeah, because I guess the like, if there's a lot of people or a fair amount that are like, losing it super young or super old, that like inflates the average.

right? Yep. So that's why the important is the median, not the mean. Because there could be like 13 year olds out there having sex and they're going to really lopside things. Or even the, another important thing would be what's the mode? So what's the most common

age to lose your virginity? Right? That's... Yeah. So anyway, statistics fog. Yeah. So I'd be careful about average because I think averages can oftentimes be misleading.

Yeah, no, I've been told that before, and I think it makes sense. I mean, an average is really just a number that's made up with, like, other numbers, really. That is correct. That's what an average is. That's a real five-head shit right there, man. Well, thank you. Okay, so let's go back. Can we go back to sort of the sense of, like, getting rejected online and resentment and entitlement?

I think the resentment, yeah, sure. I think the resentment and entitlement comes from, I think, this idea that I'm special or that I need validation from others to feel important or to feel, I guess, adequate. So do you think the resentment and entitlement are related to each other? Do they kind of? Yeah, because my entitlement isn't being fulfilled or isn't. being satisfied. And where did you get the sense? And what do you feel like you're entitled to? I feel like I'm entitled to a lot, a lot. Like, I feel like I'm entitled to a better, like a life that's better than most people or a life that is maybe not easier, but that is like, more fulfilling or that is more interesting, I guess. And where do you get the idea that you're entitled to a life that's better than most people. Well, I feel like, I feel like there is this idea

that, um, that I'm special or that there's something about me that's like, I don't know, just different from other people. How long have you felt special, Ganny? Ever since I was like really young, I think. Can you tell me about that? Well, like, I can, like, I took an intelligence test and I was very young and I scored. like pretty well on it in certain areas like I scored high in certain areas and low in other areas but I was like called gifted or I was given the gifted classification and then I was sent to like a special school for it when I didn't contribute it that's not the only reason but I feel like that contributed to it being told that you're different or special or like

you sounds like you actually were special objectively yeah it was and do you feel like you've lived up to your potential Definitely not. I feel like if I'm supposed to be smart, like, I feel like in many ways I'm supposed to be smart because of like what the test told me, but I feel like my life hasn't really lived up to that potential, lived up to what it means to be smart. And what does it mean to be smart? Well, in my opinion, like people who are smart usually get good grades or successful or have a lot of things going for them in life when it comes to like success and either money or grades or something. that makes them stand out, like some sort of status, usually. And do you stand out? I think I stand out, but for the wrong reasons.

So was that insensitive? I thought that was... No, no, no, I understand. Yeah. Why do you stand out? Well, I think I stand out partially because of, like, mental illness and partially because of, like, I think sometimes I, oh my God, I guess I could go into a lot, but I feel like I,

there are certain behaviors that I do that make me stand out just because I try to stand out. Like I think in some ways I've exhibited attention seeking behavior in the past or behavior that where I want to be like at the forefront of like whatever's going on. And what makes you want to be at the forefront of whatever's going on? Because I feel like if people acknowledge me, I feel more validated and I feel more adequate, I think. Do you remember that's a very analytical answer. Do you remember was there a certain kind of acknowledgement that you wanted growing up? Well, growing up, I'm going to be honest, when I was really young, I didn't really need that much acknowledgement from my peers because I was kind of opting my own thing.

So I feel like this has been a recent thing. Like when I was really young, for the most part, I got most of the validation for myself or most of the validation. internally, whereas now I feel like a lot of it should... When did that change? I think it changed like late teenage years or, yeah, I think like late teenage years. Do people tell you that you haven't lived up to your potential? Not necessarily, not to directly, but I feel like there's indirect ways that people say that or whatever. Can you give me an example?

Well, I think it's communicated sometimes through like, if I get a bad grade, I usually, think to myself, oh, like, I should have gotten a better grade just because of my potential or like, what did I do? What am I doing wrong or why am I not getting the sort of success in school that I expect? Why don't you think you're getting the success that you expect? Well, I think I just have a lot going on in my life and a lot on my plate that kind of distracts me from being able to work effectively at school. And I think it's not just, it's not just that I have a lot on my plate as far as mental health is concerned, but also because I get pretty distracted. Like, I have problems with focus and paying attention and I have like ADHD and stuff like that.

Can I think for a second? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Kenny, you know what I think the biggest problem is? What? Your confidence in what you know. Oh, okay. Explain what you mean by that.

So I ask you a lot of questions and you give me a lot of answers. and you give a lot of really good answers. Yeah. Right? Well, thank you. Yeah, it's kind of interesting, but I think it's actually kind of a burden. It's sort of screwing you over.

Because what I'm not hearing is a 19-year-old who hasn't figured it out. What I'm hearing is a 19-year-old who's figured everything out. Oh, my God. What do you mean by that? Well, so like I'll ask you questions, right? We're talking about women. We're talking about being an,

We're talking about your views and how people treat you and stuff like that. And you have answers for everything. I get rejected. I'm ugly. You know, the world is unfair. It's not my fault. Answers, answers, answers. I'm smart.

I was gifted. I was tested. I haven't lived up to my potential. I'm handicapped. I have ADHD. The world feels really like a definitive place. to me when I listen to you speak. Like I already have an idea of like what's going on or I already have an I think I know it's

like I think I know everything. Yeah, right? It's you have way more than an idea. You have piles and piles of evidence. You're way past the hypothesis generation phase. You're even way past the testing phase. Your you conclusions have already been made. Does that make sense? Yeah, I know. It makes sense. Right? But at the end of the day, like, you know, I don't mean to sound like a boomer, but like you're 19. And I don't mean to say that your experience doesn't have value. What I, what I'm trying to say is that there are still more experiences which need to happen. And the biggest concern that I have for you is that your mind is not letting evidence change your view. It's letting your view change the evidence.

Yeah, that makes sense. And so I'm concerned for you because I think, you know, I think there are a lot of alternate hypotheses. So I, too, theoretically, was gifted. I was never tested or anything, so I don't really know. And then I also struggled a lot. I probably could have been diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19 years old or younger. Certainly didn't have good grades. I had like a, you know, like a 1.5 GPA or something after one year of college.

And I hadn't lived up to my potential. And also had a lot of sense of entitlement. I also had a lot of reaction formation personally, where I hated a lot of the things that I was jealous of. Yeah, I feel that completely. Right? Like, like, I can't have it. So fuck that shit. I hate you. Yeah. Because you are everything. What are some examples of that? Tell me.

Like in your life, like, what are some examples? of like things that you were jealous of or things that were like upsetting to you. So I devalued school and education because I felt like I wasn't good at it. And it wasn't an accurate representation of my intellect. I felt like they were plebs just reading fucking textbooks instead of thinking for themselves. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think I actually, for me, it's like the opposite. that I feel like education is very important or education is like very concrete and I feel like

I'm inadequate because I don't live up to the expectations of education. Yeah, so I felt that too. I think it's actually the same feeling. It's one coin with two faces. Yeah. So deep down, I felt exactly the way that you did. And then my ego constructed a defense against it, which is that I don't have to feel bad about myself if I put them down. Yeah. If they call me ugly, I don't have to listen to them if they're the ones that are ugly. Hmm. It protects me to put other people down.

Yeah. It also helps me not take responsibility because then I get to do nothing about it, right? Because if I'm truly enlightened and they're all plebs, I don't have to listen to them. I don't have to value what they say. And their rejection of me, which is like F's on my report card, doesn't have to touch me. if I devalue them and what they represent. I guess that's like how I do rejection in somewhere, how my attitude towards women in some ways. What do you mean by that?

Like I see their rejection as like an inadequate or like as, oh my god, I kind of lost my thought here. I guess it's how I interpret their rejection of me in general, like as, and how I like, I feel like I'm not good enough, but in some ways I like getting, I, I think there's something wrong with them and not necessarily something wrong with me. If that makes any sense. And it's kind of confusing, right? Because there's a part of you that thinks that and there's a part of you that clearly thinks there is something wrong with you. Yeah.

Something that's wrong with you that is just so wrong with you that it's unfixable. Yeah. Even the word in cell. Right? So it's like it's not even virgin anymore. It's like virgin is like someone who hasn't gotten laid yet. virgins have become incels. Salabot is like a choice.

It's like something that happens, you know, in life. It's like a long time span. And somewhere along the way, they're like a bunch of virgins who now call themselves insoles. I think it's the idea that like, as you said, that it's just never going to happen or that something has happened to you. Or things have happened to you that makes you believe that there's just nothing you can do about it. Yeah. So what happened to you that made you feel like there's nothing you can do about it? I think just like constant rejection and constant feedback from like other people.

When you say constant, tell me what constant rejection means. Well, like when I was in university, like during my first year, I had this kind of idea that if I were to approach like one girl a week or if I approached a certain amount of girls that at least one of them would find me attractive. So it was like I was kind of playing the numbers game. But like every girl that I approached just didn't seem interested in either talking to me or didn't really seem interested. interested in me at all or they straight up rejected me or like said they would rather be friends or something else. And what does that mean? And how do you understand them? Well, I just understand it as like it as I'm just, they're just not attracted to me in general. And I feel like because of how many girls have rejected me, I feel like I can make a state, like I could use that as like a sample size to kind of think of like what girls in general would think, I think. How did you talk to these women?

Usually I just try to approach them or try to start up a conversation or whatever and see if they were interested in talking. Sorry, getting it. I just got a little bit frustrating. I got to think about what's frustrating, but okay, can I talk at you for a little bit? Can I lecture? Okay. So the first thing is if you're approaching women, don't, that's not a thing. I don't know what that is But like here's

Okay, so here's what I'm going to say First thing to understand Ganny And you're allowed to disagree with any of this Okay, I'm just going to rant. Is that cool? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, you ready for it, bro? Yeah, I'm ready for it.

Issue number one, people are stupid. Okay, what that means is that like a lot of times men are stupid and women are stupid. Issue number two, people don't know themselves. These are like universal facts about humanity. I don't understand what's going on inside myself. And a lot of times, I suspect that you don't understand what's going on inside yourself. And the women that you talk to

don't understand what's going on in them. So like, that's the first thing. So if, you know, I think your, your example is fantastic that, you know, sometimes when you ask a girl out, she doesn't know what to think or she thinks, shockingly more than one thing. That there are reasons she is attracted to you and there are reasons that she's not interested in. you. Second thing is that if you're basing your idea that you're celibate or an in-cell, based on approaching random women on the street and striking out over and over and over again, there's a difference between your worth as a human being and the strategy that you're employing to ask women out. What do you mean by that? Like if I'm a surgeon and I go in and start hacking

at people willy-nilly, and then I say, oh, fuck, I'm a terrible surgeon. I will never be able to save a life. There's a huge difference between the way in which I perform surgery and my capacity to perform surgery well. Right? There's like a method here. You're interpreting your value as a human being based on what sounds to me like a terrible way to approach women. Like you're not treating them like humans. You're treating them like objects to be approached. And I'm not surprised that you get rejected over and over and over again. As nothing to do with the fact that you're ugly, has everything to do with the fact that you're probably like, like, you're not, it's not like a normal interaction.

Right? Because people don't hit each other up on the street and then like start asking each other out. That happens rarely. It happens in the movies and we think that chads do that. And sometimes some people can get away with that shit. But that also has nothing to do with like that person being a Chad. It has everything to do with the fact that an interaction between you and another person, Ganny, involves you and another person. There's a whole other person there with thoughts, feelings, insecurities, their own issues. Case in point, lady who called you ugly because she felt like you were entitled to the attractiveness of all women. I have no idea where she gets that. I mean, maybe you were a toxic asshole and you said that to her, so that's fine,

but it sounds like you weren't. It sounds like you didn't even hit on her in any way, shape, or form, and that you were just generally around. And that she chose to call. you out as ugly because she felt like you were entitled to the attractive attraction of all women. Does that make sense? Like that has nothing to do with you, man. Yeah, that makes sense. So, like, people are stupid and they don't know what they feel. The other thing is that, like, there are some differences, I suppose, in terms of gender dynamics, in terms of, like, when, you know, how men and women treat each other and find each other attractive and stuff like that, There may be differences there.

But I'm telling you, like, as a scientist, the in-group variability far outweighs the between-group variability. That's a tricky sentence. Do you know what that means? Not really not. Okay. So if you look at, like, intelligence amongst ethnicities, what you'll find is that basically people from all over the world, on average, are the same amount of intelligent.

So it's not like Indian people are smarter than German people, or that German people are smarter than Indian people. The variability in intelligence within a community far outweighs the difference between communities. They're really smart Indian people and they're really stupid Indian people. They're really smart German people and really stupid Indian people. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, it makes sense. That's also true of genders. So there are women who are attractive and confident and picky and assholes,

and there are men who are attractive and confident in picky and assholes. There are also men who are attractive and confident and nice, and there are women who are attractive and confident and nice. There are women who will judge a man based on his appearance within 30 seconds and then decide to date them or not date them. And there are also women who won't do that, and who will take some time to get to know people. before they decide whether they want to date them.

What do you think about that? Yeah, no, that makes sense. Okay. So here's the next thing. I think that a lot of your, a lot of what they could be responding to is not your looks, but your insecurity about your looks.

What do you think about that? Well, I feel like it is a mix of both, but if you are confident in how you look, I think you are more likely to get women or feel attractive. Okay, so let me ask you something, Ganny. When you come on stream with a mask on, yeah.

What do you think that does to your insecurity? I think it gives it, it gives it like weight or it like, I feel like it's, it validates it or gives it oxygen. Absolutely. I love that last part. It's not validating. It gives it oxygen. It helps it grow.

And what do you think that insecurity? Every time you let your insecurity get a little bit bigger and a little bit bigger, what happens the next time you talk to a girl? It's, uh, I come across as insecure or anxious. Yeah, right? And they don't know. And it's, it's not that they like don't, they're not like, they're not like knocking you off of a list permanently. I think a lot of times what it'll do is it'll probably confuse women. What do you think about that? Sorry, say that last part again? I think it confuses women. What confuses women?

The combination between you approaching them randomly in the street and being a gigantic pile of insecurity. Yeah, it's probably really weird to have somebody, especially somebody who's anxious or, like, nervous to just randomly start talking to you out of nowhere. Absolutely. And then if you're anxious, how do you think they feel? They probably feel even more anxious or, like, uncomfortable. Absolutely, because we're empathic organisms. So they're not, I don't think they're looking down on you like you're a piece of shit and they're judging you because they're the superior sex. I think they're really confused and anxious.

And generally speaking, when someone is confused and anxious and you ask them if they want to go out with you, what are they going to say? Probably no. Even if you're Dr. Chad Thundercock. You think so? Pretty sure, bro. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think like, so yeah.

Any thoughts about what I've said so far? I mean, it makes sense to me. I've been kind of told versions of this before, but I think the way you say makes it makes a bit more sense. Like, I feel like probably my insecurity is playing a big role in like how I'm perceived or I guess my attractiveness overall, like especially if I'm randomly approaching people out of nowhere. Right. I mean, like so most of the people that,

I, you know, most of the successful relationships that I've seen don't start with anyone approaching anyone. Yeah. It's like usually like people get into relationships when there are unplanned repeated interactions plus attractiveness. This is the biggest thing that people tend to miss out on. Unplanned repeated interactions is seriously the foundation of most, well, this has changed since online dating. But like if you look at prior to online dating, unplanned repeated interactions are like most of how people like find someone to date. And that's why people date like their co-workers and fellow students. You don't date people off the street. You date your coworkers because like you go to work every day. They go to work every day. You guys like kind of chit-chat a little bit. You crack a joke. They laugh. They crack a joke. You laugh. And then like it's sort of like an organic kind of thing. Now, online dating is a little bit different.

I think that certainly does sound like more of a numbers game, right? And people swiping right and swiping left and whatnot. But even then, there seems to be some amount of organicness to the more successful relationships. Yeah. And what I'm hearing from you is that a lot of your interactions are not organic or natural at all. Maybe I'm forcing it in trying way too hard or making people feel uncomfortable because of my the way I'm approaching them partially too. Yeah, I mean, I certainly think so.

But I encourage you to really just kind of look at yourself because I don't think, I mean, I, you know, I can understand everything that you've said. I think it makes sense. Like, I think it makes sense that you felt like you were rejected by that girl at the age of 17. But I think the really tricky thing, Ganny, is that with each of those rejections, the confirmation bias grows. and the more you give oxygen to your insecurity, the more it finds confirmation biases.

Does that make sense? Yeah, no, it makes a lot of sense. So oddly enough, I think that much like the other in cells that I've spoken to, I think your shit is a bunch of confirmation bias piled on top of a faulty assumption. Okay, yeah, that sort of makes sense. What do you think the faulty assumption is? That I'm ugly, or? Either that you're ugly or I'd say even in a broader sense that you're you're not worth valuing.

Damn. Right? And we hear subtle tones of that. I think ugliness is just the face of it. But we hear subtle tones of it when you said that you used to acknowledge yourself. And then at some point, you started needing acknowledgement from other people. And you noticed that you needed acknowledgement from other people in high school. But I think that that sense of that that's when you all.

needed acknowledgement. The hunger was already there in high school. So the question is, where did the hunger start? I think it started earlier. And if I had to put my money on a couple of things and we'd have to talk more. So oftentimes these hypotheses, it's not that this hypothesis has a high likelihood of being correct, but this is the best that I can come up with. May have something to do with your parents, may have something to do with your mom's boyfriends, may have something to do with your dad, may have something to do with school, and you feeling like you didn't live up to your potential. And the more that you don't feel like you lived up to your potential, the more you need other people to confirm for you that you have potential or that you have value,

because you don't get it from in here, so you need it from outside. And if you needed it from outside in high school, I think you started losing that confidence in yourself, probably around middle school. And we even hear like a couple of tones of that, right? Because you were interested in girls in middle school, then you stopped in high school, which is a little bit strange. Yeah. So I don't know if this is like one of those stories of like, you know, and we kind of heard a couple of different tones of this from your dad where it sounds like there's a part of you that feels like your dad should have done better. But then you also accept blame. Yeah, I found it hard to just blame somebody absolutely. Because

I know people are complicated and it's hard to just it's not it's not except to women you could blame them absolutely very easily yeah I guess I guess I bet I think like I mean blaming individuals like blaming people and like so specific person sure so here's here's a pro tip okay so here's how you move forward you have any idea no okay first thing is stop treating women as a class and start treating them as individuals. Okay. What do you think about that?

I mean, it's something I've been told before, but I think, I mean, it makes sense in general. Yeah. Okay. So, and some of them are going to be assholes, right? So, like, you shouldn't, you know, you don't want to go like white night and like milady them to death. That's also treating them like a class, by the way. It's still dehumanizing them and not treating them as individuals. I'd say that's the first thing.

Second thing is give yourself some time. Because I know it can be frustrating to hear, but you're young. And what I mean by time and you're young is give yourself some opportunity for new experience. Give yourself the opportunity to change your thinking. I'm not saying just like change your thinking because your thinking is wrong. If it's your thinking, it's your thinking. There's no reason that my thinking should be better than you're thinking. So if there's a part of you that's still convinced that women are going to reject you because you're fucking ugly, then that's fine.

You can think that. What I'm saying is that give yourself the opportunity to change your mind. Give yourself the opportunity for an interaction. Watch that thought process give you a reason to explain any interaction with a woman from this day forward. You're going to have like you're going to DM a woman and then she's going to say something to you. And then that part of your mind, that programming, that in-cell is going to start giving you reasons and answers. Oh, see, this is because I'm ugly. It's like, dude, the lady hasn't even seen you yet.

But she knows I'm ugly because I have not, I don't show my face on voice calls. It's that unfalsifiable hypothesis kind of reasoning. You see that? Yeah. And then, so give yourself the opportunity to learn or have a different kind of experience. And the last thing is, you know, Let the women come if you want it. They'll come in time, Ganny.

What you should really focus on is yourself. Because right now, I don't think you're a dude that's like worth being in a relationship with. And I don't mean that like personally to make you feel bad. I just don't think most 19 year olds are. And give yourself like the benefit to like grow exactly as you are doing. And actually you've made huge strides on that over the last couple of weeks that I've gotten to know you. Continue working on yourself. and then like, you know, give yourself a chance to like feel good about yourself.

So think about what it is that you want to accomplish. And don't make it too high. It's not about living up to your genius IQ. It's about like, you know, setting things, setting small goals for yourself that you can actually set yourself to do. And try to do them. Start small. How do you climb a mountain, Gini? Well, I guess one step at a time.

Absolutely. And just because you're an IQ, and have a bunch of potential, that just means you're trying to clout Mount Everest instead of Mount Kilimanjaro. So don't get confused because, oddly enough, I think intelligence is a burden. It makes your life harder, not easier. What do you think about that? Yeah, no, I've seen that in my life for sure. Right?

So one of my supervisors once told me that giftedness is a special need. You should treat gifted children like special needs children. and generally speaking we think about special needs children as handicapped in some way but I don't think that that's a fair way to put it I think giftedness is a special need and those kids do need to be treated differently they need to be challenged differently they need to be supported differently they oftentimes get into this issue of like having way too much potential because they're told like you're a five-year-old who's told like hey you have a bunch of potential

and then just imagine what that does to a five-year-old psyche. How does a five-year-old live up to its potential? Yeah. When you say, yeah, what does that mean? I'm asking you how to... It's a lot to expect from somebody, especially at such a young age, and it's a lot to put on their plate. But what are you even putting on their plate?

How do they live up to their potential? I guess they have to live up... I guess that's to be kind of a bit more patient and not expect everything to come immediately. But how does a five-year-old understand? any of that shit. I guess the point is the five-year-old doesn't. Absolutely. It is impossible to live up to your potential as a five-year-old. Because you don't even know what that means. All you know is that you have potential. You have no idea how to live up to it. And your parents don't even

know how to live up to it. But the burden gets placed on you then, and your five-year-old little brain doesn't know what it's supposed to be doing. All it knows is that it's supposed to be doing more than everyone else. That's all a five-year-old understands about living up to their potential. And so you were placed on an impossible road at a very young age. And you found yourself not walking it. And so then you became insecure about yourself. Because you feel like a failure. Like you haven't lived up to your potential.

And then your insecurity finds something, oh, looks, at least that's something we can wrap our head around. The cosmic potential of your life is like, I don't even know how to wrap your head around that. And so your mind finds looks and it finds women. And, ah, see how insecure we are. Now everything makes sense because we have a system. We have a system to understand our insecurity.

We have an explanation for our weakness. Because the world makes sense if you're an in-cell. And you have a bunch of people on the internet telling you things. And it fits. It feels good. It resonates with your experience of life. And that's the saddest fucking thing because it's actually not true. You indoctrinate yourself to believe that you're unattractive and not valuable to women. And the really sad thing is that's just not true, man.

You seem to be a guy who like cares a lot about growing as a human being. And I can guarantee you that that's what makes a good partner. I know a lot of people want to just get laid and whatnot and Chads and Stacey's and plates and all that kind of good stuff. But if you're talking about actually building a relationship, the hard thing about a successful relationship is that you start as two people and then you change. Because if you started dating someone tomorrow, Ganymede,

like in five years, you would be a completely different person and she would be a completely different person. And then five years after that, you would change again. And so the most important thing I think for a healthy and successful relationship is someone who's willing to change.

Not like, become what your partner wants you to become, but become what your partner needs you to be and what you need yourself to be. And so give yourself the opportunity to do that. Yeah, that makes sense. I guess in some ways, like, if the opportunity presents itself to be in a relationship and I'm not prepared mentally, that could probably, like, the consequences for that could be pretty bad too. Absolutely. So does that mean you should be in the relationship? Not quite, I guess not. Incorrect.

Oh, why is that incorrect? Dude, man, go for it. If you have the opportunity to engage in a relationship. Yeah, I guess because you still learn to get something out of it, right? Absolutely, man. Right? And at the end of the day, like, I'm one of these old school nobs who believes in love. And I still, like, I have a pretty, you know, like, I think I, I'm a believer in one idas.

I don't think one idus is a bad thing. So, you know, I definitely do think that people can get overly obsessed with one human being. And sometimes that can be harmful. But I don't think it's like one idis is a class of stuff is bad. Right. Love can definitely be like awesome and it can also be devastating. Oneitis, if you pick the wrong person and you're not willing to let them go or you should invest in people who are willing to invest in you. And if oneitis means investing, I think a lot of times what it ends up meaning when they kind of talk about it in a negative way is it's essentially investing in a relationship that isn't reciprocated. That I think is unhealthy. But it all depends on the person. And Ganny, I think if you have the opportunity for a relationship, even if you're not ready, I'd say give it a shot and then learn. Because oftentimes we're not, we don't become ready before we do things. I don't know how else to put that.

Does that make sense? Not quite. What do you mean by that? So is anyone ready to be a parent? Not, not quite, no. How do you become a competent parent? You have to have experience. Absolutely, bro. So you may never be ready for a relationship.

Don't let that stop you, man. Yeah, I guess that's a way to think about it, yeah. Just fail magnificently. You shouldn't avoid failure. fail magnificently just go for it man well i guess failure is the normal part of learning i mean if you don't fail what are you what are you going to do right you're going to lay on the ground to do nothing which is exactly what we love to do that's us man now we come full circle so i think we're done for today because that's it right yeah you can blame the world and do nothing

or you can fail magnificently but don't get don't confuse yourself because success is not an option Take success off of your plate. Your two options are to do nothing or fail magnificently. Your life will transform overnight if you internalize this idea. Do not attach yourself to the outcomes of your actions. Devote yourself to the action themselves. I guess don't go into things with a specific expectation about what you want out of it, but just do just do what you need to do.

Yeah. And it's okay to want something, right? It's okay to have an expectation. but just acknowledge that that's an expectation and don't hold yourself to it. Yeah. Questions? I don't have any questions right now. I can't think of anything right off of that.

So I have a very challenging meditation exercise for you if you want to try it. Okay, sure. Okay, can you turn your camera back on? Well, I was going to ask you to take your mask off, or at least think about taking your mask off. And I wanted you to notice the insecurity that arises within you. What do you think about that? I can take it off anyways. Yeah, but you have to do it on camera.

That's the whole point. Oh, shit. Well, I'm sorry about that. That's okay. So see if you can get your phone charging. That's okay. Okay, so this is what I want you to do, Gany. So sit up straight.

Okay. It's not the same unless you're on camera. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, I get what you're trying to go for. What am I trying to go for? You're trying to get me to kind of accept the way I look or not be so... No, good God, no. Holy shit, that's hard.

I'm not trying to get you to accept anything. What I'm trying to get you to do... Sorry for shutting you off. But no, no, no, no, none of that feel good except yourself bullshit. What I want you to do is face your overwhelming fear. Yeah. I'm going to see if I can find... I'm going to see if I can try a different chord and see if it charges.

Hold on. Good. Look at the balls on this one, Twitter chat. Oh, God. I hate all this positivity stuff. Except who I am. Is it ugly motherfucker. Embrace your ugliness.

No, man, it's not about that. It's not about, are you still around? Yeah, no, I'm here, but it might take a little while to charge. Okay. Take your time, bro. Chat is willing to wait for the big reveal. Got to keep us in suspense for education and entertainment purposes. So here's the idea behind the practice.

So earlier, Gany, I'm just going to talk about you in the third person while you look for it, because I don't know if you're here or not. Okay. Okay, sure. Go ahead. Okay. So here's the thing. So Gany has a belief about himself.

I love your phrasing, by the way, real 500 IQ play there. It gives it oxygen. Right? So the interesting thing that I want you to do today in meditation is don't worry about like whether you're actually ugly or not. That's not the point. The point is if I ask you to take off the mask, the insecurity is going to like awaken, awaken, like a slumbering dragon.

And it's going to wake up. And it's going to be like, no, no, no, no, don't do it. What I want you to do and even you can fail at taking the mask off. You can stop yourself from doing it. That's fine, too. It's not really about whether you take the mask off or not, but it kind of is. It's about noticing that within yourself, there is a force that tries to control you. Right? And that's the force of insecurity. And literally, like, think about what the force of insecurity is doing to you.

If we think about the actual physical action of taking a mask off, it's nothing. right it's just like I think of another thing to do here if this takes too long I have a laptop that does a webcam on it it's kind of shitty but good enough can I tell you for a second Ganny yes sure if you're ugly is it better to have a shitty webcam or a good at a shit you have cam all right boot up your laptop bro okay so anyway well I hope you guys understand what I'm saying. So we're going to see the feeling of insecurity. So like notice that, you know, the physical action of taking a mask off is just, you know, you just pluck out the little strings and then it's off, right? It's like five seconds. But you can't do it. You can't do it. It

won't let you do it. Right? Your mind won't let you do that thing. She was pretending he ghosted me. That's okay. If gany ghosts us, so be it. His insecurity one out. which is okay. Remember, it's not about saying no thank you. I don't feel comfortable doing it. If you're going to fail, do it magnificently and leave Twitch chat waiting for like 30 minutes while you never show up. Debated.

Right? Yeah, so did you guys catch that? Don't put it in the this guy, who's this guy? He caught it. Somebody caught it. The insecurity dragon faced itself. Don't put it in the thumbnail. Did you guys catch that? So you guys see how it's so quick. So what you guys got to do is like look at yourself, right? Not if you're ugly though.

Okay, now we're going to do this. Okay. So what I want you to do is so close your eyes. Gany, close your eyes and sit up straight. And I want you to just notice yourself. Notice the thoughts that go through your head. Oh. Yep, you're doing good. Just close your eyes. How do you feel right now? Talk to me.

Slightly uncomfortable. I don't know. Okay, good. So tell me what does the discomfort feel like? Just a bit nervous, a little bit anxious. Okay. Where do you feel that anxiety physically in your body? Mainly in my back and in my shoulders.

Okay, good. Eyes closed. Okay, good. Okay. So now I want you to think about taking the meat skull, Gandy. Now I want you, as I tell you to think about it, notice what happens within yourself. Tell me what happens. I start to get kind of nervous, I think.

Okay, where do you feel that nervousness? In my back mainly. Okay. Do you have particular thoughts? nothing that I can pick out specifically. Okay. Okay, that's okay. So now I want you to just notice that like there are going to be forces within you that are concerned. Right?

So you asked us before, it sounds like you're thinking about taking your mask off. So that's fine. But you mentioned don't put it in the thumbnail. So that's a good example. Yeah, let's just like a... Yeah, tell us about it. It's an anonymity thing, really. Okay, that's fine.

So, by the way, if you want to stay anonymous, then you can do that. I don't want to pressure you into not being anonymous. If you, I feel like this is a good example of depriving the insecurity of oxygen, and that's why I'm asking you to do this. Does that, is that distinction clear? Yeah, no, it makes sense. Okay.

Do you want to try to deprive it? your insecurity of oxygen? Yeah, sure. Okay, so then take the mask off. Eyes closed. Okay. And now, how do you feel? I feel a little bit exposed now.

Okay, good. What is the feeling of exposed look, feel like? Well, I feel kind of tense, and I don't, I know it sounds weird, but kind of naked. Like, I feel like there's nothing to cover my shame. Yes, good. Okay. So now let's just look at that for a second. Can you look at it with me?

Gany, you with me, buddy? Should I open my eyes? No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, no, don't open your eyes. But just, can you listen to the words that I'm saying? Or does that sense of being exposed overwhelm you? No, I can listen. So now let me ask you something.

Why does someone need to not show? Like, when we think about exposing, exposing involves seeing what? Well, it depends what you're exposing, right? Right, but like when we use the word expose, we're sort of talking about something unsavory, right? That's the presumption. Yeah. Like if I, you know, if I go get some flowers from outside, I don't expose them in a vase, right? I display them.

Yeah. But displaying and exposing are both showing. You with me? Yeah, no, I'm with. Yeah. So what is it that we expose? like it's something unsavory. Yeah, or something that you don't want, people don't want to see. So wait, wait, you don't want people to see or people don't want to see?

Something that people that I think both. Like, you don't want people to see and something that you expect. Very good, right? Because now notice this comes from you, Gany. You don't know what people want to see, but you are afraid that if they see it, then what's going to happen? That they're going to judge me. they're going to think bad, poorly me, like look down on me. Okay. And what, in what judgments are they going to have for you?

They're probably going to think I'm ugly. Like, that's what I think people are going to think. Okay. So now, do you feel like people are thinking, no looking, no peeking at Twitch chat? Okay. Do you feel ugly? Kind of, yeah. Okay. So now I want you to focus on your breath for a second. So notice that there's a feeling of ugliness Like what the fuck is that even? Like ugliness is not

Yeah, it's hard to explain. It's weird, right? Because like we think about ugliness as a physical attribute, correct? Yeah. But like, it's not. It's a feeling. What holds you back is a feeling. It's not a truth.

Does that make sense? Yeah. I know it makes sense. Okay. So just notice that feeling of ugliness. Lynn, like, tell me a little bit about it. Well, it's, I mean, it's obviously a negative feeling. And I feel, I don't know.

I kind of feel it in my gut right now. Like, I feel like I'm making a mistake. I don't know. Good. Okay, good. Right. So this is, it's a protective mechanism. Something in your body is warning.

Yeah. Do you see that? So now I'm going to ask you a couple questions, Gany. What has happened in the past when you have shown yourself to other people? I was about to say exposed, but that would be way to... It had negative things to say about it. And when was the first time you felt this way? The first time I felt this way was...

I can't even remember, like, probably not too long ago. Or not too long ago, probably like a little while ago. Okay. This feeling of being exposed and fear of judgment, that's a feeling that's new to you. Uh, no, not really. Okay. How long has that feeling been familiar? For like a few years now.

Okay. And so would it be fair to say I'm going to try to put words to it? Okay, you let me know if I'm not trying to lead you, but you let me know if I'm right or wrong. Okay. Are you afraid of what other people will see you as? Definitely, yeah. Okay. How long have you been ashamed? of what's inside? Like what's, I feel like I'm more ashamed of what's outside than what's inside, honestly. Okay. How long have you been ashamed of it? I think for like a few years now. Okay. So now I want you to pause for a second and think about this.

You've already exposed yourself. It's done. You've taken your mask off. What do you think about that? I'm not sure if I'm going to regret this, but I mean, I already did it. There's nothing I can do about it now. Yeah. Do you have you? regret it right now? A little bit. Okay, good. Tell me about that feeling of regret. I don't know. I just feel, uh, I feel like like now kind of like, uh, it's like I've

opened pain doors box and I don't know what's going to happen as a result of me showing my face here like right now in this moment. Good. Do you know, so I want you to just take a snapshot of how you feel. Is there any? feeling besides the Pandora's box? Well part of me feels like at least out there, like at least now I don't have to hide or I'm not hiding to the same extent anymore. Yep. So I want you to take a snapshot of how you feel right now. Do you know what we call how you feel right now? There's a word for this emotion. Can you guess what it is? What isn't? Should we ask Twitter chat or should I tell?

Nope, incorrect. Just telling me. This is a word. This is what we call courage. Oh, really? Yeah. How does courage feel? Well, when you put it like courage, I feel a little bit better. I feel like I'm at least making a good decision rather than a bad one. It could be a bad decision, right?

Pandora's Box and all that. Yeah. Here's the crazy thing about courage. Courage doesn't feel good. We make it sound like a good emotion, but it's not a good emotion. Courage is awful. What do you think? think about that. Yeah. No, it makes sense. Yeah. And so now I want you to try to appreciate

yourself for a moment, right? That like you did it. And you decided to take a chance. And it could end up terribly. I don't I don't think it's going to really. I don't think it is. Danny. Yeah. But facing the fear is actually the hardest part. Right. It's it's the insecurity that holds us back from acting. That's the hard part. We're controlled by like these feelings on the inside. Ugliness is not even a thing. There's no there's no like it's not a thing. You're just I'm just talking to a guy on stream. If we had never had this conversation and we talked about what your favorite video game was for an hour and a half, you would be the same exact person. Twitch wouldn't know anything about you being afraid that you were ugly.

It's all coming from you, man. It's not that the world judges you in a particular way. It's not that some woman, sure, people can call you ugly from time to time, like that one particular woman called you ugly. But that's because she's got her own social justice shit that is going on or whatever. Yeah. Right? You are what you are. Nothing can change that. And the world can judge you, but any kind of judgment, if you, if you are, if you are, you are, you can change. you give into it is going to be damaging and here's the crazy thing the white world judged you for being brilliant and what did that do to you it it i mean it kind of uh the correct word is

fucked you it fucked you yeah and that's such a but who wouldn't want to be judged is brilliant or beautiful all judgment fucks you that's what judgment does big truth that buddha discovered all judgment is back You are what you are, Gandy, whether you're ugly or you're attractive or whatever. I have no idea. It's not my place to say. What I can say is that you're courageous. What I can say is that you haven't figured everything out yet.

And thank God for that, because if you had figured everything out, then your conclusions mean that your life would suck. All it takes is courage. Courage and an open mind. And give yourself the chance to change. Okay. How do you feel right now? A little bit nervous. I don't know.

Good. See, I'm telling you all these really inspiring words. And what's happening inside you? Well, I feel a little bit better about it, but it's still, I don't know. I'm going to need some time a few days to think about what just happened. Fantastic. That's what we want you to do. But what's happening inside you?

You see that little thing? It's like an animal. Yeah. I can say as much as Dr. K. inspiring shit as I want to and that animal is still there do you see how it has a life of its own yeah but that's not you man that's it can you see that it is separate from you kind of yeah okay so now I want you to try something one last thing put the mask back on okay I don't know if this is on straight so that doesn't matter is that the beast talking again okay now the mask is on do you feel

safe? Yeah. A little bit, yeah. Okay. I feel like it's already being exposed, so it's like, what can I do now? Exactly. But still, so despite the fact that, that what can you do now, you still feel a little bit safer. Now take it off again. Do you feel feel re-exposed? Yeah, I do. It's weird, right? But even then, like, nothing has changed. People have seen your face already. It doesn't make any sense. It's just this thing inside you that has. It's just this thing inside you that has a life of its own. It's not logical. It's not true in any way, shape, or form. Does that make sense? It's just like it, it's like mask is on. Oh, I feel better. Mask is off again. Oh, I feel worse again. Like, what the fuck? You've had it off for the last five minutes. Like, what difference does

it make? But that insecurity doesn't care. It's not logical. And it'll find whatever reasons it can to justify its existence and convince you otherwise. So practice not listening to it. Practice courage. And then one day, you'll be ready to talk to a woman. Thank you. Any last thoughts or questions? No, not that I can think. What are you feeling now? I see you smiling. I don't know what I feel. Honestly, I'm gonna have to take some time to think about it.

Beautiful, right? So like, just that's awesome, man, because what you used to feel was nervousness and now you're saying, I'm not sure. which is exactly what we want for you, dude, is to not know for certainty what your life holds. The more you say, I need to think about it, and I'm going to figure it out, the better your life is going to be. So that is the right answer. And I think we're done for today. What do you think? Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I think this is a good place to end it.

All right, man. Listen, Getty. All right, see. I really wish you all the best, man. I think that, you know, like, just keep walking what you're walking. And don't let yourself, you know, it's okay to be held back by your insecurities, but for only so long. And keep doing what you're doing. And don't give up on the rest of humanity because we're not going to give up on you.

Well, thank you. That feels better to hear. All right. Take care, man. Okay, take care. Bye. Okay. Gigi Gany.

Oh, my goodness. Ganny, the legend. Be careful, chat. Be careful of the expectations that you put upon Gany's back.