HealthyGamerGG - The Secret To Always Staying Motivated

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

Welcome to an exciting journey towards unlocking your full potential and harnessing 100% of your motivation! In today's video, we'll dive deep into the fascinating realm of motivation, exploring not only what holds you back but also powerful techniques to supercharge your drive. Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/47yln26 Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: https://bit.ly/47dGzKj Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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how to unlock 100% of your motivation. The frustrating thing about life is that that we know if we can get this person to actually put forth 100% of our effort instead of half-assing it, we would do awesome. And we know that it's theoretically possible because there are tasks in your life where you've been able to give it your all. And when you give it your all, things turn out so well. The problem, though, is that as we look at the tasks in our life, like maybe I have this project for work, I have to do something for school, or my brother's birthday is coming up, whatever the task is, we just can't put forth 100% effort. And in those moments, if you're like me, you start to wonder, what would my life be like if I could actually put forth all of my effort

all of the time? I'm super excited about this topic because this is one of those cases where everything that I've invested in seem to click. So my years of studying to become a monk or doing neuroscience research at Harvard, or even years of clinical practice. Because the problem with motivation is that it's quite multidisciplinary. We can sort of look at the neuroscience of it, we can discover particular things. But how do we translate that down into what you do today? And so that's exactly what we're going to teach you. And we're going to weave together some aspects of neuroscience, some aspects of clinical practice, i.e. working with people to get them more motivated. And lastly, we're going to understand sort of this yogic or Eastern perspective to help you

really unlock motivation. Hey, y'all, if you're interested in applying some of the principles that we share to actually create change in your life, check out Dr. Kay's Guide to Mental Health. It combines over two decades of my experience of both being a monk and a psychiatrist and distills all of the most important things I've learned into a choose-your-own-adventure format. So check out the link in the bio and start your journey today.

So let's start by understanding the experience of 100% effort. So when you are in a situation where you're putting forth 100% effort, what are you feeling like? What's your internal experience? So the first thing is that emotionally, usually your emotions are aligned with the task, right? So this doesn't even necessarily mean good emotion. So if you're really pissed off at someone and you're like, I'm going to teach this personal lesson.

Your anger is in alignment with yourself. Oftentimes this also means that in other situations you're excited, right, or you're curious about something. I really want to learn about something. So there's an alignment of emotions with the task. That's number one. The second thing is that your energy level is pretty good, right? So when you want to do something, your energy level is good.

Like you're putting forth 100% effort, which means you've got enough energy to sustain the effort. Now let's look at the alternate scenario where you don't want to put forth 100% effort. What are the most common experiences within your mind and your body? So number one thing that a lot of people will say to themselves is, I don't feel like it. I just don't have the energy today. So if we sort of look at a lack of 100% effort, what we're talking about is not feeling like, it or not having the energy to do it today, right? It's, oh, I'll have the energy tomorrow, but just today I don't have the energy, so I'm not going to put forth 100% effort. So let's

understand what these subjective experiences in the mind actually mean in your brain. When we say, I don't feel like it, which part of our being does that relate to? And it turns out that it's actually emotions, right? So you don't really notice that you don't have an emotion, right? It's kind of, I just don't feel like anything. You sort of feel emotionally neutral. But, but it's not, I just don't feel like anything. at the same time, you're also using the word, I don't feel like it. You're not saying, I think it's a bad idea, or I've made a logical calculation using the tools of AI available on the internet, and I have naturally concluded that I'm not going to do this task. That's not what happens. What happens is, I don't feel like it. And what is feeling? Feeling is an emotion. And so now

the question kind of becomes, what determines your emotional state in response to a task, right? Because if we don't feel like it, we have to cultivate the right kind of emotion, well, how do we do that. So I'll give you all a scenario. Okay, let's say that I go out with my friends for dinner. And then they say afterward, okay, let's go dancing. Or maybe I'm sitting there in the restaurant and a dance floor opens up in the middle of a restaurant. Now, what do you imagine my emotional reaction to my friends getting up and starting to dance art? Well, that depends on you, right? So depending on who you are, you may say, wow, this is an amazing opportunity. I can't believe that they just opened up a dance floor. It's time to go boogie. Let's go. Or you could

say, oh crap, I'm not very good at dancing. I don't know how to dance. Now all my friends are on the dance floor. I'm sitting here awkward alone. Oh my God. So even though the scenario is exactly the same, our emotional response can change depending on our perception of self. Okay. So I know it sounds kind of weird, but just hear me out. So depending on how I think about myself. So if I think of myself as I enjoy dancing or I am a good dancer, then my emotions when it comes to dancing will be positive in nature, exciting in nature. And if I think of myself as not a good dancer, I don't know how to dance, then my emotions will be negative and I won't feel like doing it. Literally, the difficulty of getting on the dance floor depends on the emotional response that I have.

And the emotional response that I have depends on my sense of identity. But you will say, but Dr. Kay, hold on a second. It's not just my identity. It's not, it's not all in my head. I am objectively a bad dancer. Like, I never learn. how to dance. So it's not that it's my ego. It's not my sense of identity. I literally do not know how to which, I don't know if you've met these people, these people piss me off, but these people who aren't good at stuff and can still do it 100%. You ever met these people, these fuckers? You know, they're like the people who are like the first time you're like visiting some tribe in the Amazon and everyone in the Amazon starts dancing or I see these people when I'm going

and doing like Indian dancing stuff like Garbar and Ravratari. If you'll ever seen this stuff, it's a lot of fun. So sometimes you'll have like when we go to this festival where there's a bunch of like literally thousands of Indian people dancing and stuff like that. And then I'll sometimes like take my friends who are Caucasian or of other ethnicities, Asian, African American, whatever. And then when I take these people there, there's two kinds of people. None of them know how to dance. They've never been here before.

It's absolutely insane. But some of them are like super excited. It's like even though I don't know how to literally do this skill, I'm excited to learn. And I'm going to put forth 100% effort. And there are the people who are like, I don't know how to do this. This makes me feel awkward. I am going to look like an idiot. y'all are both going to look like idiots, but one of y'all is okay with it. And this is what I end up

seeing is that out of the friends that I take, the people who are okay looking like idiots are the ones who do a good job, learn how to dance, and have more fun. So it's not about the objectivity of whether you have the skill or not. It's about your sense of identity and the emotion that that creates in response to that task. And if you're like me, because I'm the one that when I, you know, go to things and I'm like learning new stuff. I have friends with me who are like, yay, let's learn. And I'm like, I feel like an idiot. I'm not going to do that. And I look at them with envy and jealousy. It's like, I wish I could do that. I wish I was willing to make myself look stupid to enjoy and engage with life. And then I would learn so much more too because the other really

frustrating thing about these people is that they like learn so many different things because they're living life to the fullest. We're going to teach you how to do that today. The second thing to understand about when you don't have maximal effort, you can't forth maximal effort, is that you don't have the energy for it. So now we have to understand the science of arousal and what gives your body energy. Okay. So we have this axis called the HPA axis, the hypothalamus pituitary adrenal axis. And this axis governs a lot of our energy and arousal in life. And so if we kind of think about it, the level of energy that we will kind of have when given a task fluctuates, depending on our opinion of the task.

So I know it sounds kind of crazy, but hear me out. Okay, so if we look at our energy level, what we tend to see is that our energy level goes like this. Okay? And what this is is essentially our level of stress. And what we sort of discover is that in order to have optimal energy for a particular task, you need a medium level of stress. This is something that we call you stress.

Now, if a task is not stressful enough, i.e. down here, the stress level is really low, then our energy level is low. This is what we call being bored, right? So doing paperwork is not stressful at all. It's just annoying. And even though it's easy to do, the level of effort required is super high because our energy level is naturally low. The task is easy, but our energy is so in the pits because it's a boring task that it ends up being hard to do. Next thing to understand is when our stress level is too high, our energy level actually tanks. And this is what we call being overwhelmed.

So this is when our body, our brain is basically saying, okay, this task is too much for us to handle. We won't be able to succeed in it. Therefore, we don't want to waste energy because it's too much. It's too big. It's too much. It's not going to work. It's going to be waste of energy.

And our brain and body, if there's one thing that they're really good at, is being efficient. So this is when we feel overwhelmed. Our mind is like, okay, I have 15,000 things to do. I don't know where to start. it's too much. I, and then internally, how do you feel when you're overwhelmed? You feel energetically drained.

So this is the key thing to understand is that when we're talking about putting forth effort, we need to have the right level of energy. But instead, oftentimes we are bored with the tasks or we are overwhelmed by the tasks. And now the question kind of becomes, okay, well, what do we do about that, right? Because can we control how stressed out we are about something? It turns out, yes, we actually can. And that, too, has to do with your sense of identity. So let's understand this. So depending on how you feel about yourself or who you think you are,

the level of stress a particular task evokes will be different. So if you think something is beneath you, then you will sort of start to think it's kind of boring. It's too easy. You'll sort of slip into the low stress category where everything in life is boring. And I used to be one of these kids. Maybe you all know these kids. They're all over the internet where they're like, yeah, I study quantum mechanics in my like, free time and like I'm a philosopher stoic and like, oh my God, Marxism and I'm so much better than you and like, oh my God, I can't ever apply for a job ever. Like, oh my God, it's so boring. I can't believe this. This is crazy. And those people don't like accomplish much, right? They're just like arguing with people on the internet. So it is our perception of the self and if something feels

too easy to us or feels boring, then our energy level will decrease. On the flip side, things that are overwhelming are not always overwhelming. When you first engage with something, it can feel overwhelming because you don't know how to do it. And that's what you'll tell you're, you'll tell yourself, right? If someone else was in this situation, they would be able to handle this. But I've never done this before. This is too much for me. I don't know how to handle this kind of thing.

And so it is your perception of self, which tells you that this is too much for you to handle. Because if you were different or you said to yourself, you know what, even though I'm inexperienced with this, I have faith in who I am. This is a challenge that I can rise to. Let me sort of give it my best shot. It all has to do with the perception of self. So this is the really insane thing.

When it comes to unlocking 100% of your motivation, there is an energy component, which is governed by our arousal system in our HPA axis, and there is an emotional component, which is governed by our emotions. And furthermore, both of these things are emotional response to a task or how stressful or engaging a particular task is, how much it activates our HPA access,

actually has to do with your perception of self. Now, science can get us this far, but now the question becomes, okay, from a perception of self standpoint, what do we do about it, right? So if I believe I'm all of these things, like do I need to go through 15 weeks of psychotherapy to change my identity,

you can absolutely do that by all means. Some people will say, should I go do psychedelics and change who I am? I wouldn't recommend it, but some people have. This is where we turn to yoga. Because yoga and meditation in these Eastern traditions, they're the ones who sort of figured out from a subjective standpoint how you can change your sense of self.

And here's the basic thing that they figured out. Essentially, all of the constructions that we have about our sense of self are constructions. They're not really who we are. They are intellectual conclusions or even emotional conclusions, but there's something that we build up about ourselves. And this is precisely why identity can change over time. If identity was like fixed in physical and true, then it wouldn't be able to change over time, really. But if you sort of think about your identity, your identity is quite fluid based on the conclusions that you draw.

And this is what we literally do in like psychotherapy for people with like trauma is we will take an identity and we will literally cognitively reshape it into something else. It's absolutely possible. And we're going to teach you all a very simple, powerful technique that if you do over time, will change your sense of identity. This technique starts with this step. So the first thing to do is take a task where you can't put forth 100% effort. Once you have that task, you will notice one of two things.

Either you don't have the energy or you don't feel like it. And now what I want you to do is take either of those things and try to trace that back to a sense of identity. You can do this with like a piece of paper. or you can pull something out right now, whatever you want to do. But start to think about, okay, what is it about me that creates this emotional response? So if I feel like, I don't have the energy to do it, or I don't feel like doing it, or I'm afraid to do it, or I'm anxious to do it.

Recognize that other people would not be quite as anxious as you are, right? Or even if they were anxious, they would be able to handle that anxiety in a different way. So what is it about you that makes you unable to engage in the task? And from an energy standpoint, the same is true. about this is overwhelming for you? Or what about this is boring for you? And if you tunnel down, you'll discover some aspect of your identity. It doesn't have to be 100% correct. We're not going to worry about arguing with it or trying to convince it to be different. You may sort of slip into that, don't do any of that. Just notice some aspect of myself. And this could be something as simple as,

you know, I'm not good at dancing. Very simple. I'm not good. So the simpler it is, the easier it is. So make some statement about yourself. Now comes the fun part. So once you have that piece of your identity. What I want you to do is sit up straight. So your spine needs to be absolutely straight. Spine is straight, neck is straight, head is straight. So if you want to, one of the things that you can do is imagine that there is a, like a string or a rope at the top of your head, and you're kind of pulling up on that string and imagine what it would do to your spine. That's how you can sit up straight. Okay? So you want your spine, neck, and head to be 100% straight. Now what I'm going to do is take a moment, take a deep breath. You can chant oom three times if you want to.

that really helps a lot. So you can do five minutes of oam chanting for this practice. That's ideal. You all can check out Dr. K's guide or some of our other YouTube videos on instructions how to do that. But just use some kind of centering practice. Ome chanting works really well. And then what we're going to do is look within yourself for that attribute of your identity, right? So notice your experience of this moment. What exists within you? What are you? You'll notice you have certain physical sensations. You may notice your breath. You may notice sensory stimuli. then you may notice thoughts and emotion. But thoughts are just thoughts.

They're not real things. They're like literally thoughts, right? So I can think of a unicorn. It doesn't make the unicorn real. A thought is an abstraction. It's some not reality thing. It is a construction of the mind. And you may have understood this very simply.

If you thought you left your keys in this particular drawer, but then you open it up and the keys aren't there. Oh, no, thoughts are not reality. So by all means, you can notice thoughts. There's no problem. thoughts. In fact, we want you to. But notice what actually exists. And as you just notice what actually exists, look for that aspect of identity within you in this moment. So if all you have is this 60 seconds, could you determine from your experience in this moment that this thing is true? Is this

a real thing within you? And you may, some of you all will get tripped up because you'll start thinking about it. But as we already said, thinking is not real, right? Sometimes it mirrors reality, but thinking is not a real thing. It's just what we think. And we sort of know that people can experience psychosis, which literally means they think particular thoughts, which they believe are real, which are distorted from reality. Thoughts are not reality. And so as you look in yourself, look for this attribute of your identity. And what you will discover is it is not there. Because all aspects of your identity are abstractions, are conclusions. And as you sort of look for this part of yourself, I'm not good at dancing. I'm neither not good at dancing. or not good at dancing, or even if I'm not good at dancing, it's simply because I haven't learned yet, right? This vessel has not been trained. So be it. And then as you cannot find this thing within you, take a deep breath in, deep breath out, and let that attribute of identity go. Just let it go. It's something I believed about myself, but it isn't true in this moment. So I'm going to go ahead and let it go. And as you do this practice, over an extended period of time, and you take these

attributes of identity and you start melting them away. This is where someone would say you will unlock your true potential, right? You will be able to accomplish things beyond your wildest dreams. And that was true for me. So the big difference between failing out of college and training and teaching at Harvard Medical School was a change in my sense of identity because I used to think I was a smart kid and then I realized I am what I am. I don't know if it's smart. I don't know if it's stupid. I'm just going to focus on learning. I'm going to focus on becoming the best that I can't, the best person on the planet on understanding the science of complementary and alternative medicine, understanding the science of meditation and yoga and herbal medicines. And then suddenly,

that attitude is what allowed me to rise to the top. And so this is where sometimes someone would say, oh, this will allow you to accomplish your full potential. It's not going to do that. We're not here to have you accomplish a damn thing. We're here, not for your accomplishments, but to let you put forth a hundred percent effort. And in order to do that, you have to let go of who you are. And then this vessel will have more energy and the right kind of emotions to rise to the task.