HealthyGamerGG - The Work Never Stops - What It’s Really Like to be a Creator | Part 2

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Dr. K talks to streamers about being a creator! The group dives into good days vs. bad days, authenticity, actionable goals, optimal performance, and more! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's about really understanding, like, what's the equation? Basically, general conclusion, having worked with over 400 content creators now, is that the best way to make content is to be, like, authentic and energetic. Do you all want me to mute? Do you guys want to finish your conversation privately? I mean, I could turn it's cool. Okay. It's on.

Yeah, I know. It's fine. Okay, awesome. Keep going. Sorry. Oh, I just wanted to thank her, because while I was sick with COVID, I was lurking in her stream and it really helped me like focus on not being sick with the cool ASMR sounds and especially the singing bulls that was my favorite.

Are you feeling better now? A lot better today but I've had days like two days ago where I felt like absolute garbage because I don't know this COVID was off and on. This is my first time having it and I got it from my parents of all places. I didn't even get it from like something cool. so I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope you don't end up with any like

long COVID stuff or... Thank you. Yeah. Cool. Hi. How's everybody doing today? Better.

It sounds like metric got COVID. I actually had COVID when we did our first session, but I just doped myself up. real good and pretended like nothing was wrong. Ah. So a crucial skill for a content creator, pretending like nothing is wrong. Oh yeah. And just performing, right? So welcome everyone to week two. I think hopefully we'll have Ms. Ashrocks able to make it. But if she can't, you know, that's okay. We're welcome. We're happy to have her whenever she's is going to be here.

So just to give you all a little bit of structure, I don't know how many of you all saw the recap that we that I kind of shared with y'all a couple days ago. So we'll be sort of sharing recaps with y'all, hopefully on a weekly basis. Sometimes they may even be a little bit more substantive in terms of like worksheets and tools and things like that, but we'll kind of get to that later, like burnout assessments and stuff like that, scientifically valid scales, things like that. But I thought I just, first of all, welcome everyone back. I think we can go ahead and do brief introductions as well again this week. So please let everyone know where they can find you, you know, what kind of work that you do. And then the other thing that I'd like to do is just kind of

go over a format of what we do on a weekly basis. So what I'll do is we'll start with check-ins. There may be announcements or things like that at the very beginning as well. And then probably what we'll do during check-ins, I may frame them in a particular way. We won't do that today because we're going to do introductions. And then afterward, I'll put like a question to people, oftentimes relating to, okay, what did y'all take away from last week? So what did you all remember for people who did homework? You know, what was that experience like? So we'll kind of check in about last week. If people have thoughts, reflections, kind of recaps, we'll sort of talk about that for a little bit. And then we'll kind of open things up based on what the check-in is like in people's responses. Does that make sense?

I did share with y'all the eight topics that I've pre-prepared. So if people, want to steer in that direction, y'all can explicitly open that door. You can say, hey, this really resonated with me. But based on my understanding, there were a couple of things that kind of floated to the surface that people felt pretty interested in talking about. So we'll get to those in a second. Any questions about that format? Okay. So we're going to meet, announcements, check-ins, kind of recap, talk for a while, all probably try to summarize and maybe do a little bit of explicit teaching towards the end, depending on how much time we have. Sometimes that's better in the middle. And then that's kind of our format. And then we'll kind of assign homework as necessary.

Sound good? Okay. Sounds good. So let's restart with introductions. So why don't you all tell us a little bit about, you know, who you are, where people can find you. And also what you kind of took away from last week's group. I can start first if, unless anyone has a preference. Awesome. I'll start first. Hi, everyone. I'm Michael. I go by Smirky here on Twitch and various other socials as my doorbell just rain, even though the door is unlocked. I will grab the door here in a minute. I'm an LGBTQI plus variety streamer. I've streamed for 10 years now. I also do a bunch of charity work and a fundraise over $65,000 for various causes, as the door keeps getting knocked on. I've also been, a Twitch partner for the past four years. I have specialized in a game called TuneTown, which is a former Disney MMRP that's now hosted private servers run by the community, which is pretty fun that I get to still dabble in that, but I'm also focused on like multiplayer games. And we love focusing on positivity, authenticity, and inclusivity. So that's my little

intro if I'm missing anything else. I'm already forgetting. That's totally fine. All right, awesome. I'm going to get the door now. Sure. I don't know if anyone wants to go next. Yeah, you can grab the door, Smirky. We'll figure that out. Okay. I'm Ruby True. I stream on Twitch. I create mindful meditation content, ASMR content.

Everything in my kind of content is focused around wellness. We talk about some pretty interesting topics. as well amongst that and yeah you can find me at twitch.tv.tv slash ruby true and yeah that's all my brain can deal with today talking about myself awesome ruby is there any way you can turn up your volume a little bit i have you kind of maxed out on the discord call but it seems like you're still a little bit quieter than other people thank you very much is that better uh say something again i can go up a bit more perfect that's better yeah thank you cool Thank you.

Oh, I'll go. I'm metric seconds. Hi. He him. I used to grind darkest dungeon like crazy, would do deathless runs and challenges and all sorts of stuff. And nowadays, sometimes I play it for fun, which is wild. I work on variety, but mostly super hard challenges when I can find them.

and you can find me at Twitch.tv.tv slash metric seconds. Awesome. Next. Hey everybody. My name is Kathy, aka Zerk Girl. You can find me on Twitch streaming mainly StarCraft 2 at Z-E-R-G-G-G-I-R-L. There's a lot people like to ask how it's spelled. And yeah, I just mainly stream StarCraft 2, whether it be Ladder, matches, playing co-op or team games with friends. I also work in corporate at Activision Blizzard King.

Awesome. Thanks, Kathy. All right. I'm last. So what's up, guys? My name is Josh, otherwise known as Zell. I stream at Twitch.tv slash Zell. I guess most people have heard of me through the talk show I used to do at Riot Games called AllChat. And then I moved into doing stuff. with offline TV. And now I'm a retired streamer streaming MMRP of Final Fantasy 14,

mostly these days. And I do anime content, and I'm known also for doing K-pop dance covers and stuff. So anime, video games, K-pop, all that jazz. Awesome. That's me.

And I guess we were supposed to talk a little bit about our takeaways from last session and just that... It's a great transition. It's a, it's hard to be in a group setting. We're talking about kind of like our boundaries a little bit. One of the notes that I wrote was just like, you know, talking about, you know, ambiguity. And I think it's one of those things that we do to be kind of conscious of others to not like, you know, over detailed and over dumped things onto people.

So we kind of go to being ambiguous as kind of like protection from them. that. So, yeah. So, yeah, that was one of the takeaways. Awesome. Thanks, Elle. So I think that's a great chance to transition. So I'm kind of curious, like, what was last week like for you all? Awkward. Gary. I was terrified. I mean, I built it up in my head for weeks, so sorry. Okay. So awkward. I mean, yeah, Ruby, I agree with you, though. I also enjoyed it. it, like, it was hand, the awkwardness and the enjoyment of it goes hand in hand. I felt a lot better, like, about 30 minutes in, I think, which, I mean, I've probably heard that before.

That was it, yeah. That was a nice joke. Sorry. I'm really sure what to expect going in. I didn't really feel awkward at all. I know I was silent for most of it, but I think that's just me. I like to kind of sit back and listen more and then, you know, engage whenever people want to talk about certain things or I feel like I have something to contribute to a topic.

Yeah. And so remind me again, who's responsible for making sure that everyone is participating well enough? Everybody. Yes. But me the most, right? You have a little bit more height in that. But yeah, I'm going to share that responsibility with y'all.

So I appreciate Kathy sort of also bringing up that, you know, acknowledging is the whole group noticed. and by the way, y'all did really well. Because sometimes it usually takes weeks for people to really like notice that some people are more naturally quiet. It's not necessarily shyness or things like that. And especially in a group setting, sometimes people are really vibing, right? And they're like saying things that feel really important. So we don't want to interrupt that flow, especially if we don't have something to add, which is totally fine.

So other things that you all kind of took away, so it was kind of awkward. Did you all feel like you learned anything? Yeah, Ruby? I got a really lovely long voice note, and I was going to tell Metric before you suddenly wished us on to stream, but it's probably a really good thing for stream. I got a really lovely long voice note from a good friend of mine, who is also a streamer. I won't name them. Just saying how much they appreciated Metric story about streaming and representation. and yeah how much that meant to them and how important it was

and so I took away from that how you don't realize your story or your little thing that you think is unimportant can really reach someone that you have no idea who is listening and make them feel less alone or make them feel more confident or, you know, just change their day. So, yeah. That really means a lot that probably made my week. So thank you.

That's holy crap. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. If you want to know who it was, I can ask them if they would like to talk. If they ever want to reach out, I'm always available. I'll ask them. Thanks. Thank you.

Okay, so we're going to learn our skill for the day, and I forgot to mention that in the intro. But one of the skills that we're going to focus on is noticing. So we cultivate all kinds of actionable skills, right? So one of the things that, so prior to becoming a doctor and becoming a streamer and all that stuff, I spent a few years studying to become a monk in India. And one of the things that they teach is that awareness and noticing is actually a skill. And in the West, we generally think about skills as actions, as opposed to things that involve our sensory organs. We sort of know this like somewhat, right?

So even if you're playing video games, for example, there's like certain sixth senses or awareness that you develop. I'm always going to be looking at the mini-map. We know obviously that people in particular fields become good listeners. We also know that chefs, for example, will refine their palate. So I'm going to ask you all, what did you all notice about Ruby? I would say even if she's soft-spoken, she's very deliberate. There's no wasted words. There's no wasted time.

And she's careful in what she says and how she says it. So that it has its like maximum impact. So whereas like I could babble on and on and I'm doing it right now. Okay. There's like a lot of, like, it's like a combination of like cautiousness and intentionality that kind of like blends well together with how Ruby communicates, I think. Okay. Anyone notice?

I think, oh, I think Ruby is very empathetic. I feel like when you were introducing yourself last week, you were talking a lot about emotions and you kind of understood that about yourself. And then also like kind of bringing up your friend's story in relation to metric. I think that shows great empathy from you. And what did you go ahead, Zell? I guess we're taking choice.

Oh, I mean, because I felt like I was the last one out. So I just, my impression was just, yeah, kind of similar to Zergirl there, like empathetic and very open, like emotionally very warm. and inviting to people, you know, kind of sharing your own story and experiences. And I think, you know, again, when Dr. Kaye last week asked a question, or, you know, asked for questions, like Ruby was not hesitant in, you know,

opening up for, you know, situations that I think a lot of people would find themselves uncomfortable. And I think that's an admirable trait. So, yeah. So I guess everything that we noticed is very complimentary, right? What do you all think about that? I mean, part of it, I think is, that's our courteousness as people, right? And I think we, we don't want to attempt to offend each other, you know, especially this early on. So I think like, you know, not saying that like I think

badly on anybody or I'm judgmental or anything, but I think just in general, that's just how people trend in social situations that, you know, are, haven't been defined it. Like, we haven't really figured out our boundaries yet. And so this is part of that like boundary setting, I think. Yeah. If she, if she has body. like cut up in her freezer, we don't know. So. All right. So this is what makes us fun.

So, so excellent. Excellent points by everybody, right? So obviously like when I'm saying, oh, like we all complimented her, in the back of my mind, I don't have some kind of criticism that I'm asking for people to guess, right? There's a, because I agree with all we all. I mean, I think for the most part, we're going to be very, very supportive. And at the same time, we also want to notice what we're doing, right? And as Zell said, it's kind of like boundaries.

Like when you're like, oh, like, let's all talk, let's all take turns talking about Zell. And then everyone's going to be like, oh, Zell is so great, and Zell is this and Zell is that, which is awesome, right? So we want to be positive. And also we want to just be aware of what we're doing, that this is still the early stage. And at some point, if our real goal here is to help. each other, right, if we want to be authentic and compassionate. We also may want to at some point challenge people a little bit or notice things.

So the thing is, you all started staying stuff. What I noticed was that Ruby was at the edge of tears. And I don't know if you all, and I think people were interpreting that as empathy, but like what I was struck by is she's very thoughtful. She's, you know, clear she's an awesome ASMR streamer, right? because of her words and her deliberateness, she's very well spoken. And now I mentioned tears and it's like, did I just fuck up?

No, I cried on stream today. I'm having a really, like, it's something with my ADHD, like my emotional dysregulation. Sometimes I'm just super emotional. And then other times I can just deal with it. And yeah, like today I've just been like, Yeah. You didn't mess up anything. It's just me. Yeah. So now I kind of feel like I messed up even more because I commented on it and now she's tearful.

But this is exactly why we notice because now what is Ruby now shared with us? It's kind of like she's opened up, I guess, like she's being more vulnerable. And I think that's very powerful, you know, with like being open about her, you know, and everything. Yeah. And so how did we get there? What happened when we... That's how you got there.

I'm kidding. If I had said, oh, Ruby is amazing and she's wonderful. I believe all those things. Right? So I, when we compliment people, what happens? We feel. So I, what I'm kind of noticing is that like, as we compliment people, there's such a positive energy.

Right? And it's like, yeah, like, oh, my God, like, oh. And then the interesting thing is that when people have tears, so the way I interpreted that is like, wow, that must have been one hell of a voice message. And that, like, you know, she was summarizing it, but I'm guessing that the voice message was really, really heartfelt. This person was really impacted and metric story really resonated with someone. And, like, Ruby was witness to that.

And also, maybe there's more to it. maybe we shouldn't assume that the tears are just empathy and joy and stuff like that, right? So this is where we're kind of combining, noticing, and digging into ambiguity. We're not necessarily, we're going to get to this in a second. We're going to teach you all how to talk. But so now people are kind of wondering, okay, Ruby is sort of saying like she's having maybe not the best week. And like now what do we do? How do we respect the boundary of like privacy versus trying to be compassionate?

Is that where people? are like what do we do with this now? Yes, no? What do people think? Am I making things really awkward too fast? I mean, I think part of it though was also that Ruby sort of mentioned that like this is her, you know, condition and this is like how she, you know, sometimes things just happen. And so she's kind of like establishing that like her tears aren't necessarily the fault of what you had said and that like, you know, uh, like it puts the own. bonus back on her, I guess, versus us in that, like, we, she's reaffirming that we are not hurting her in what we had said. And I think that, too, is like another boundary setting sort of thing. Um, so if anything, I feel more like Ruby's saying, no, you're good. Keep going. You know, like, this is, this is our time to continue to, you know, talk about things and don't worry too much is kind of like how I took it. And what is it will be telling us now?

Yeah, I'm fine. Right? I'm absolutely fine. I've just, I've, I've, I've had one of those days, like, I care about things a lot, and I care about people a lot. And then it just takes, sometimes, if I'm caught on one of those off days, where maybe I've been a little more overwhelmed and I found, like, the day a little harder to get into you. I've actually had a really good day. and like yeah it just takes one small thing so like

then I cried earlier on stream because someone said something and then I've gone and like worked out for an hour and then I've come here and you know I'm just tired now I think that's it it sounds like a really full day like physically taxing emotionally taxing not necessarily in a bad way

so now we've kind of a fork in the road. We can talk a little bit about, you know, homework and kind of what we discussed last week sort of formally open up a topic of discussion. Or we can sort of focus a little bit on some of the themes that Ruby is bringing forward, like how do you as a content creator manage good days versus bad days versus full days, talking about taxing days? What do you all want to do? Do you all want to kind of talk a little bit about homework and stuff or sort of focus on, because we had proposed a couple of topics for this week. Good days and bad days definitely was like the theme of my last seven days.

Because, I mean, there were some days where I just was not awake or I couldn't talk or couldn't swallow, you know, food without utter pain. I lost my sense of smell for a while, which was fun. And I couldn't stream. So that was also like really. frustrating because basically this month for me between like seeing my parents for a week and then getting sick from them and then just being sick for the rest of the month this whole month has been a wash um not to say I'm not grateful for the streams I've been able to do but like

you don't want to take that much time off if if you're regularly creating content and like even last night I tried two point campus for the first time and I broke the game in two hours and I made the game give me infinite money without really trying and it wasn't fun anymore and like I'm not bragging

I literally was like how did they make this game and not notice that I could break this like all I did was have the game pay me to take loans and then pay other loans and then it's almost like like real business, but there's social commentary there somewhere.

But I was so frustrated because I was really excited for this game. And then I I guess like I had to sit back and think about like what is there to be grateful for

in all of it and it was all the people who still like wanted to hang out despite that and wanted to see me despite, you know, all the days that I took off because one of the things that, like, when you're sick or you can't stream or anything like that or if something happens, I think like every streamer is kind of familiar with being told, take as much time as you need. But, like, we don't get sick days. We don't get PTO. We don't get anything like that. Like, that's, it's, it's a really nice platitude. but and I know that like anyone who tells you that doesn't mean it sarcastically or thoughtlessly or anything like that they mean it in the best way possible but we can't take as much time as we want to it's sort of like you know if you're sick at a at a normal job like people don't tell you take as much time as you want to at a certain point it doesn't work right so I don't know like this

This week was kind of just making me feel like, well, I have all these people who still stick by me no matter what. And even if I have a rough month like this, like they've given me the confidence to know that, like, I can bounce back. So I kind of, so kind of jumping off of what metric was saying and relating it to actually our homework. Like, I think just the general theme, I think when it comes to content creation, is just every action has a opportunity cost. And that's how it relates to our homework, right? Is that like, if we are being our authentic cells, what is the cost of that? If we are just focused on our metrics, what is the cost of that?

If we are focused on our health, what is the cost of that, you know, in metrics case? Like, if we take time off for ourselves for our mental health, what is the cost? Like, I think the easy trap mentally when you're a content creator is like you're trying to eke out and match. maximize each possible moment. Like a couple of my friends would always say as a content creator, it's all about your ABCs, always be contenting. And like you start to figure out like literally how to maximize each and everything that you do. It's like, okay, well, I'm going to make a Twitch stream and I'm going to make a YouTube video out of it. And I'm going to take the clips and put it on TikTok and Instagram. I'm going to take pictures. You know, like everything you're trying to

maximize always. And like it goes in so many different. different ways too, not just like in your, just how you make content. It's like what content do you make? And then, yeah, I don't know. So like to me, actually, like all these things sound related under the kind of umbrella of opportunity costs for content creators. So personally speaking, like, I think, like, yeah, I don't know. That's how I see it.

Can I speak? So you're saying about that always. be content creating that made me laugh um so last year when i got my ADHD diagnosis i kind of like quit creating so much content um i kind of just i needed a time out after being diagnosed um and Twitch stream was my main focus like you can stop making YouTube videos you can stop post posting on Instagram for a bit, but if you stop streaming, I think that people notice, like, quicker and it falls down faster, you know, than other platforms. And so when I got diagnosed, I kind of, like, everything really hit me because I'm very, like, I don't know how to describe this, but I'm very ADHD. and everything I've done in my life has been to not be ADHD,

if you get what I mean. Like everything I've done in my life, like meditation, and everything I've found to help myself has been to not act or like to counterbalance my ADHD. But the only thing that was like feeding it was content creation. like there was this like it was like I was on a hamster wheel like if I could make a TikTok every day so this is what I was doing in a week

I was doing four Twitch streams three TikTok streams two YouTube videos a TikTok every day uploading on Instagram like every day then I started running another Instagram and uploading reels on there every day and then thinking about what Twitter content I can put out, what clips I can take from stream. And I had that all like down to an art. I would get up in the morning. I would edit. I would record. I would edit. I would stream. I would post.

I would still be doing community nights on my Discord once a month. I would be doing all of that. And then I got diagnosed and just kind of felt like I went like this and just let it all go. Just throw the papers everywhere. Yeah, that's what it felt like. I just like. I relate to that so hard. Can't do this anymore. Yeah, me too.

Me too. Yeah. And it was kind of like a weird relief. And I focused on stream and I focused on myself even more. I realized that everything I knew up until that point about myself, I kind of had to relearn in a way because now I, knew why I did that thing, why I reacted like that, why I kind of had to reconfigure myself and I'm slowly getting back into it now, like, but I don't want to be doing that again.

That was like I was chasing some kind of hamster wheel. That was burnout. That was like, my eyes were always dry. Like, I was in physical pain every day because I just felt like I had to keep on going. And I don't want that again. But I also know I need to. I say I need to. I don't need to do anything.

I want to create good content that comes from my heart and a good place. See, look, tears are coming back again because I'm just having it in a moment. day and when I talk about stuff like my water just comes out my eyes so ignore it so yeah I realized that by sharing and talking about I've told all of my community about this and I put posts out and the outpouring of love I got back from just being honest was larger than any response I've ever got from a video that took me weeks and I stayed up till midnight making and didn't get any sleep and then it didn't do as well as I wanted it to do and like I'm not saying

it's for everyone to just put yourself out there and talk about how you're feeling and what's going on but yeah the the reaction was good and it was scary. I don't know what I was so scared about. And yeah, that's what I wanted to share. So I don't want to dominate the conversation, but it's fun. And I also don't want to come off the wrong way here as well. So two caveats right away. But I was sort of in a very similar situation where I was overworking myself and, you know, the always be contenting thing. Like, you know, I was, and this also relates to Zerg Girl too, because I was working my full-time job at Riot Games. In between meetings, I'm checking offline TV stuff to figure out

what we're going to do and checking editing. I would go to the gym after I was done working and then I'd go to my K-pop dance practice and then I'd go home and stream for a couple hours and then I would stay up till 4 a.m. to edit my daily vlogs videos that I was doing and then I would wake up at 9 a.m. to start it all over again, you know? So like, I did that and eventually got to a point where I was like, I can't do all these things. So I ended up leaving Riot. and thinking that I would do just all content creation. And then COVID happened. And then I got to that point where I was like,

screw it, I can't do this anymore. And I just completely, like, I lost. It felt like my entire momentum that I had built up with my productivity because I had it all down to a system. And once I pulled a piece from that system, for me, personally, it all came down crumbling. I became like just instead of being a content creator who was addicted to video games and stuff, I was just the guy who was addicted to video games. And then so I stopped making content and all that.

And like three years now, you know, it's been three whole years since the start of COVID and like my fallout there. And I look back and not going to lie, like I kind of regret it. Like I kind of regret falling off the horse because it's been so hard to go back onto them. So this is, yeah, I'm just kind of sharing it just because I have such a, I, I, I, I, I, have a kind of a different viewpoint and like I and this is like the it's like the fear of content creator god kind of came back into me where I was like damn if I if I lose momentum like that like I could really lose everything and like I struggle with that now which is that like I'm now kind of a has been content creator and now how do I work up to that point to where I was again

has been something that was like very is like very scary in the back of my mind and like again it's like that I think every content creator fears that God of like what happens if you stop creating and like what if you like stop doing you know like working at this so like anyways the fear of like the fear of irrelevancy almost yeah yeah it's like as a content creator you know how lucky you are to have the audience that you have you know how hard it is and how difficult it was and how even though you worked hard how fortunate that we are in the position position that we are And so there's just a lot of fear and anxiety about losing that, right? And so, like, for me, it was reaffirming that.

So anyways, yeah. No, no, exactly. You literally said it. I was going to say, did you really enjoy it or was it just the anxiety that kept you going? Because for me, it was fear and anxiety. I wasn't doing something that I loved anymore. I... Like, and when I threw it away,

I didn't throw it away. I'm just changing my perspective. Yeah, no, I think that's totally valid. I think for me, and this is my own demon, right? And that, like, I've always been someone who pressures themselves constantly to, like, push, push, push. Like, like, as a kid, like, this is now, we're going to the life story of Zell now. But, like, historically, just, like, growing up, like, I was always just, like, push to perform and I think that's just something that I've took with me. And so like when I was

super productive, yes, it was tiring, but it was like I was also putting out good work and I felt really good about it. And, you know, that was sustaining. And so like, yeah, I don't know. It's a different perspective, right? Because I think there was part of it of this anxiety. That's probably part of what drives me as a person and to continue to perform is just like this like learned behavior that I took with me throughout my life. But at the same time, the, the results of that anxiety also pushed me to do better as a content creator to create things that I could be proud of because I think part, in part with creation, I think there is just has to be a little bit of anxiety about your creation because if you don't have any anxiety about what you're creating,

then like, how can you, how can you like see the quality of your own work if you don't actually assign any value to it. So like that's that's just my perspective on that. That's where I'm coming from. It's interesting. I mean I get I kind of get where you coming from as well because I come from a performing arts background. I was like a stage school kid like royal ballet and stuff when I was a kid and so I kind of get that pressure but I've kind of unwound that and dislike it but that's a whole therapy session. Yeah, so let's pause for a second. Let's just kind of notice what's happening here. So a lot of people are sharing. I think some themes are coming forward. Definitely a couple of teaching topics we can touch on. But let's kind of, I'm going to point out that we haven't heard as much from Kathy or Smirky today. And that's okay. Not everyone has to participate the same amount. And at the same time, I want to give them an opportunity because I'm wondering if it's, especially like I'm thinking a little bit about, you know, Smirky being heavily invested in a game

that isn't quite as popular now. I'm sort of also noticing that Kathy may resonate a lot with working at a gaming company and also trying to balance that with being a content creator. I'm kind of curious. Do either you all want to kind of chime in with kind of your perspective or things that resonate with you or things you're curious about? I've wanted to chime in, but I also want to give people space to say what is on their mind. So I wasn't going to like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have to be sorry. It's totally fine.

You know, I love listening to everything and I'm just like digesting everything. And I could relate in the sense of like having like I just graduated college and I was like busy with school. Like throughout most of my content creation, you know, journey. I've, it's always been streaming in school. And, uh, I would always have to like, I was very heavily involved with like all these organizations. I did, you know, the thing that people tell you not to do is, which is to like not learn how to say no to things. You always say yes and you just like, you add one thing onto the plate, then you add another thing onto the plate and another thing. And before I knew it, I was like super busy and I couldn't really keep like a consistent schedule or anything.

So it was a little difficult to kind of like deal with that. And I also kind of felt like, you know, it was impacting like my system of what I had. Just like, like I've always had like doubts and thoughts in my mind. Like, wow, like, you know, like, yes, we have a great community. And I feel like, you know, there's this feeling that's like, you know, it could be more, I guess, not sustained. but like it could be more built together I guess like it could be more intact but it feels a little like loose and it feels like I have to put in so much work just to like make sure that you know I'm putting the pieces back together of this puzzle to make sure it's like a you know strong

tight knit family almost I guess if that makes any sort of sense um I yeah so I can definitely uh relate to that for sure and like definitely have gone through so many periods of burnout as well. And just having to, like, very recently I, like, would take several, like, weeks off of, like, streaming just for my own, like, mental health and, you know, making sure that, like, I'm in an all right place. And even nowadays, I'm, like, being conscious of, like, hey, this is time that I need off. But, like, making sure that I, like, set aside a good amount of time that's comfortable for me

to, like, take the time that I need away from stream. And then also it's like, well, now you're like doing all these other things like emails or you're thinking about your next video idea when you should probably be like backing off just a little bit more and like actually taking time for yourself, taking care of yourself. One of those things where it's like always preaching how like, hey, you, you should take care of yourself. And then like not falling through on your own words. I'm definitely someone who does that a lot.

I don't know. Those are some thoughts that come out of my mind in the midst of listening. all of this. Great. Me personally, I feel like I can't really relate, which is why I was not able to chime in with any anecdotes or whatnot. I really respect all of your work ethics. I think that's amazing.

I guess my approach towards streaming was just like, you know, I'm going to bring up sales acronym ABC, but always be chilling. Like, you guys do a lot of work with editing. your videos, pushing out stuff on different platforms and whatnot. The way I approach my own content creation and streaming is just, I'm just kind of laddering and presenting my authentic self. So that's probably like, to me, I always think like, oh, I'm kind of like lazy about this. I'm not really, you know, manufacturing something, I guess. So that's how I kind of cope when not burning out and also working like you know i make sure i eat healthy i get good exercise

make sure i have like a decent social support system but um yeah that's why i couldn't really relate to that because i don't do the i don't put out the amount of work that you guys put into your content i think that's totally okay um because there's this like i don't know y'all can correct me from wrong but there i feel like there's kind of like a standard or misconception that like uh like we always have to be working all the time like like yes content creators do put in so much work into their craft um but that doesn't necessarily encompass every single content creator um i certainly have had moments for like yeah maybe i could be doing a lot more but here i am just being complacent with like just streaming

every now and then and not really doing anything else and just letting my youtube channel that i used to do stuff on just kind of sit there and not really making any problem progress with that, but honestly, just, you know, being okay with that as well. Just like, you know what, it's, it's, you know, can't do everything at once, you know, having to make sure that, you know, I do what I can, but if I can't do something, that's, that's totally okay too. When it comes to work ethics, like, there's an ideal me and the ideal me is a shark. Like, to me, like a typical shark is always swimming.

It's always going forward. It's moving on to the next meal. And then like when I get bogged down, which has been more often than usual, especially in the last couple years of living like a hermit, I feel like one of those crabs or whatever that just hides under the sand and just waits for something to come along. And like, I'm not, that's not my ideal me. And I feel lazy or like, like, it might be rest or something. something that I actually do need, but I don't regard it as such. And then I just feel really guilty about that. And I mean, in the topic of like has-binism, if that's a thing, if we can use that word, like, I feel like I fell off a while ago, because it's not just like numbers or anything like that. It's the amount of people who you felt like were peers. And then all of a

sudden one day they don't really talk to you anymore and you're like what what happened you know like i guess i guess those numbers that i was putting out um they don't make me uh as attractive to hang out with anymore or something like and i always i always wonder about that because like there's this weird social circle to success on twitch um or at least in content creation in general where like you know, metric who? And like, that's the thing that's sitting in the back of my head all the time is metric who. Where, like, two years ago, I just thought, like, oh, man, I cannot wait.

Like, they're going to know me. And, I mean, I don't even know me anymore. So, so let's pause for a second. What are we getting out of this? We're talking about our experiences. you know, this is like, Ruby's like, yeah, I like, it's a perspective shift,

hamster wheels. What we kind of call it in our content creator coaching program is the feeling that the sand and the hourglass is running out, right, while you're on top. And we're talking about all of our experiences. We have different experiences. Some people feel this.

There's some stuff that we're resonating on. Some stuff is a little bit of, but like, what's, is this going to help y'all? I think it is for, from my own perspective and I mean maybe someone has a different perspective and that's totally cool.

I think for me one thing that I really wanted to do more of is not simply just like oh hey let's work on this collaboration with said other creator. But like actually getting to like sit down and like hear the stories and experiences from others to open up dialogue

and just kind of like I don't know just kind of like open up a book and essentially like like indulge in like each other's experiences where you know then we start noticing more like hey I resonate with this or I feel you know you know I have feedback on this or I don't know it's definitely really great to just like have these conversations because you're like hey I'm not alone like this is you know these are struggles that other people are going through things like that and I see Ruby has something they want to say so I'm not passing out.

So I'm trying to restrict my hand. I'm literally trying to put it down. I'm done. You go. You got this. I feel like it relates to the homework about authenticity and content creation and numbers. Where does that balance lie? Zirko actually said the words that she's not trying to manufacture something. And she's just chilling and just being herself, which is like the best. But it's also, and I'm not criticizing your words,

but it's, we all do it. We are trying to manufacture something, or it's that feeling that we are trying to create something. And what are we trying to create it for? What's the outcome? Are we feeding our own egos? Are we trying to fill our own, like, for me, like, I think part of it was realizing that I was just on this dopamine train.

And the more work I put in, the more results I saw back. But were they really the results that actually truly resonated with me and what I wanted my content to be and the message that I want to create? Or was I following and focusing on what's trending, what's going to get clicks? What's... Am I taking myself... Like, when you get on that hamster wheel, you don't have the time to breathe and focus on what actually you're creating. You're just putting it out there and does it have, like, not everything has to be that deep.

I know, okay, Ruby. But for me, with the content I'm creating, it does have to be a little bit deeper. It does, like, for me to feel fulfilled, what makes me happy is genuinely, genuinely making other people's, like, feel happy. I like people being happy. I like, you know, and that's what my aim of my content was, but had that shifted and was I just trying to make myself happy? And it's finding that balance between likes

and knowing that those likes are human beings that chose to come and click on your content and they resonated with something. I would much rather get like 10 decent comments on a YouTube video where people want to share something because that video connected with them in a certain way than a hundred comments of people talking about my appearance and my looks. And I think that's where that perspective shift happened for me. I'm going to chime in a little bit here. but so kind of to go back to what Dr. Kay kind of asked like I think you guys are all awesome and I think

these shared experiences are really interesting and I would love to like one-on-one talk with you about my experiences and hear your guys of stories and how we relate but as it relates to like actionable things that I could learn to take away like if if the rest of these sessions were all of us just kind of sharing our experiences and we we nod at each other and we go hmm okay yeah that is interesting okay but that doesn't quite you know some of it relates some of it doesn't and then I would go home and then I think about it and then I don't think I would have changed as a person uh after these things as much like I would kind of understand that uh some of the things I'm going through are how other people but like you know the step that I would want to take to the next thing is like

okay we have these shared experiences or sometimes we don't but like what is like the missing thing that helps us because like from my perspective I don't even know like I've Obviously, this sounds like a dumb thing to say, but like, I don't know what helps me. And I don't know if talking about our experiences just kind of blindly and shooting in the dark and hoping that someone relates is actually a step in towards, like, helping me understand what I need to help myself, you know? And, but that said, like, again, like I was saying before, like, I would love to talk to you guys about your experiences because I think it's fascinating. I think it's interesting because we clearly have very different values in how we look at things. And I think that is, one, it's valid that, like, you know, for example, like, maybe Zergirl doesn't feel that, uh, the sands in the hourglass as much as like someone like I do. And I think that's really interesting and I would love to

know more about that. Um, but yeah, I don't, I don't know. I just kind of rambled there. Yeah. So I'm, I'm glad you said that Zelle. So I'm, I appreciate everyone's experiences. So let's understand a little bit about what my goals are. So I'm going to offer some direction to the group. you all can actually veto it if you want to, okay? So let's understand a little bit about science of sharing and success. So we know, for example, that if you take a group of patients who struggle with chronic pain, that if you get them in a group and they talk about their pain, that their pain generally feels better.

So there's like a quality of life improvement. Sometimes you'll get some mild amount of functional improvement. but we also know that if you've got patients with chronic pain, there is a value to shared experience. There is a value to resonating with people. But in our experience, sharing experience is just the beginning. And you can manufacture or extract more value out of these things if you take it a couple of steps forward. Now, I'm not saying that we have.

to necessarily do that. That's what I'm going to try to do if y'all are okay with that. But essentially, like, so we share a bunch of these experiences and then what? So there's actually a value to that. So we know as human beings that sharing is sufficient for attaining some amount of value. What I've seen a lot, and this sort of starts with my kind of experience as a psychiatrist, is that, like, I would get patients come into my office and we'd like talk about their feelings. and like, oh, you know, like, I got dumped by my significant other and it hurts. And it's like, oh, yeah, that's bad. Let's talk about it.

Okay, okay. After a while, they feel better. They start dating again. They get dumped again. And they're like, oh, God, it hurts. It's the second time it's happened. Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry for you. That must hurt.

Yeah, it's so bad. Start dating again. They get dumped again. It's like, I don't know why this keeps happening. And it's like, at some point, it's like, well, maybe we can actually answer that question. It's not. I was starting to feel attacked there. I'm just saying.

We'll get there. metric. Pace yourself, funny. So now what I'd like to do is just sort of share what I'm kind of hearing from y'all. So the first thing is that each and every one of you has adapted to this core problem of I'm going to call it the hamster wheel. Or I'm not going to, y'all call it the hamster wheel. So here's the thing about being a content creator. So we're talking about, like, you know, wellness and taking time off and things like that. But the undercurrent that people have sort of suggested is like, you know, Ruby is like, I'm satisfied with 10 comments that are in the right direction rather than 100 comments that are in the wrong direction. We can all resonate with that?

But the question that I've got is, can you get 100 comments in the right direction? Why does it have to be 10 comments in the right direction or 100 comments in the wrong direction? Right. And like in terms of manufacturing content, I love that word as well. Like, because I think that there's a certain grind to it, right? and we sort of have this idea that the more that we grind, the more successful we are. And here's metric kind of saying like, oh, like everyone's like, oh, take a day off, metric. Like, it's okay. You got COVID. You don't have to stream. But then if you take a day off or you take two days off or three days off or five days off or eight days off or 14 days off or 17 days off, at some point, it becomes hard to come back from that.

So as a scientist, I know this sounds kind of weird. But is there a certain amount of time off that you can take as a content creator? And the answer is yes. There actually is. Right? So, like, we can actually study this. And we can decide that, okay, taking a one week break, everyone is going to be back once you start streaming again. You take a month-long break, and like some people may have sloughed off, they may have moved on to other things.

You take a year-long break, and depending on how you come back, everyone comes back. everyone comes rushing back. So how do we balance? Okay, like, you know, Ruby, like, laid out, and I think you did a fantastic job of laying it out. And I think everyone sort of struggled with this. It's like X number of Twitch days, YouTube videos, editing, TikToks, Instagram number one, Clips channel, Vod's channel, you know, like this kind of thing, shorts, this, like,

one night a month on Discord, it becomes an absolute grind. and does do each and every one of those things actually correlate with growth as a content creator? Because I think this is where things get kind of tricky because, like, y'all are content creators, right?

And we've also got Kathy's perspective, which is completely valid, and sometimes we'll actually help content creators get to this point, where they realize I love creating content, but I don't want it to be my primary source of income because the price that I pay to be able to pay my rent

to succeed in content creation where I think unfortunately we live in a world where if Ruby did go in the other direction she'd probably make more money. Right? And that's the challenge as a content creator. You can jump on a trend, be on inauthentic with yourself,

and get that sweet, sweet growth. And so as a content creator, how much do you, how do you decide what's right for you? How much do I be on the hamster wheel? When am I allowed to take a break? You know, is it okay to take PTO? Or pay time? I mean, we don't get PTO as contact creators, but, you know, is it okay to take time off? And the other thing that I'd love to share with y'all, because I know it sounds kind of weird, but we may think like, oh my God, like these things don't have real answers. It's BS. They do have real answers. There's actually data about this stuff. It's just we live in an industry where we don't have those numbers. Right? People know that there's a certain amount of ideal. It's something we do well in medicine, where we're like really clear. Like if I prescribe you a statin drug, I know what percentage of cholesterol, what percentage of people will get a certain benefit on their cholesterol number going down. We're like really good about data. And in terms of content creation, I think the problem is that we don't tend to pool data, right? So like Twitch may know particular things. YouTube may know particular things. They may push particular kinds of content, et cetera. But as a content creator, how do I decide what is, like the right level. Like, how do I achieve optimal growth without sacrificing myself? And this is where, you know, I've sort of seen both sides. We're on the one side, like, I'm all for wellness and, you know, I'm a yoga teacher and meditator and stuff. And I'm all for reframing and like putting yourself first. But a lot of the clients that I've worked with are like,

I'm not willing to put myself first if it costs me my success. There's sometimes what I'm hearing from all of you and everyone has kind of decided on their own. own kind of balance, which is good, is that there's like, how much do you want to pay to be successful? And what I heard from Ruby is she used to pay a lot and she decided it ain't worth it. And it's my belief that actually we don't have to pay as high of a cost as we think we do. It's about really understanding like what's the equation. because our basically general conclusion, having worked with over 400 content creators now, is that the best way to make content is to be, like, authentic and energetic.

The problem is that, and there's a certain numbers game to it. So there's, like, a minimum amount of, like, numbers game, but that there's diminishing returns with, like, more stuff. And then there's certain kinds of what I would call, like, polluting fuel, like, I call it. dirty fuel or dirty energy that you can use to continue to excel. So being driven by anxiety, being driven by fear. So we call this internally the sand and the hourglass is running out. So we work with a lot of content creators who feel like, you know, sometimes they'll like blow up, right?

Or they'll see like a thousand more viewers or they, you know, they've doubled their viewers. And now they feel like they have to ride the wave. And then a thousand viewers becomes 1,100, 1,200, and 1,300, and 1,400, and 1,500, and 1,500, now they're riding the way for five months, six months, and then like, how do I stop? Like, how do I take a break? Like, I can't take a break. I'm so tired.

But things are popping off. And, like, I don't know how to say no. So as a content creator, and what I'm hearing from Zell is like, yeah, like all this, you know, all this like put yourself first and take care of yourself and don't burn out is great and all. But I kind of regret it. I kind of regret that I didn't continue to grind. because now that I've fallen off, I don't know how to get back. Or do I have to grind? Or like, what is the formula for success?

And so it's my belief that there is actually a formula for success. It's my belief that we can learn particular skills, which allow us to work, but not at the cost of ourselves. That we can manage our emotions in a particular way, that we can continue to make content on a daily or weekly basis. and we can even be exhausted by it, but that we're not fueled by the wrong things. Because thankfully, at this point,

we do have a lot of science on what burns people out. Number one cause of burnout is not the amount of work that you do, not the reward that you get, but the relationship between the two. So when you work really hard and you don't see a benefit, it causes people to burn out. The challenge is when I work really hard, and I'm not seeing a benefit,

what do I do? What do you all think? Work harder. Absolutely. Double down. Right? It almost becomes something like the gambler's fallacy

where it's like, I lost some money, like now I got to get it back. Because as things start going, I see Zell furiously taking notes. This is the part that Zell has been waiting for. Yeah, Zell, we'll give you lots of data. Don't worry, bro.

By all means, take notes. It just helps me think. I was not trying to embarrass you. I was trying to applaud you and just appreciate that everyone in this group is different, which is exactly why we have y'all here. Right. So what we're going to try to do is, first of all, it's good to share all these experiences. It's good to have some of these, like, you know, different comparisons and stuff like that.

That's all healthy and good. And at the end of the day, what I would like to do is help y'all, first of the, of all be authentic because I think what we're seeing on the internet is things we're getting really clickbaity for a while. Yeah. And how do you all feel about clickbait? I feel scammed. Well said. It's like on one hand I'm like happy that it brings some kind of success to someone because I like seeing people succeed. And on the other hand, you know, I just think to myself about like the, I guess, ingenuity or inauthenticity that is more than likely behind it. And I wonder, like, if deep down that's, like, something that, you know, said person is, like,

truly satisfied with or, I don't know. I wonder these things. So here's the thing with clickbait. It gives us dopamine, but our higher order brain functions recognize we're being scammed. And so there's a hunger. this is what I'm noticing. So if you look at like content trends on the internet, they're kind of like swinging.

And I think people are really valuing authenticity on the internet in a way that they didn't use to. Case and point, like we opened up the session and Ruby was like, I got this really heartfelt message because the internet is becoming a cheap place. And there's a group of people, and this group is growing, and I think it's actually like the majority. And yet we're still a little bit addicted to the dope.

open menergic cycle of clicking on things and stuff like that. So it's not that clickbait isn't effective. But I think part of what makes people successful on Twitch is that creators tend to be like pretty authentic. So this is not, if you look at like celebrities and like Twitch streamers or certain kinds of content creators, there's a certain like level of access and authenticity, like the fact that, you know, you do show up when you're post-COVID and you're not feeling really well.

or, you know, I was talking with someone recently about a particular streamer that we're, all three of us are content creators in a particular realm. And we were talking about a particular streamer, why the streamer is so successful, because they're not the best skilled person at the game. But they rage every now and then. Not too much, but they rage. And what that does is resonates with the rage with everyone who plays that game. Because we see in this streamer a piece of ourselves.

And like literally that's what the message that Ruby got. I heard metric talk and I saw a piece of myself inside that person. And I never realized that like I wasn't alone in feeling this way. And this is how I felt. And so this is where I don't, so I'm not the most successful content creator by any means. Right. So if you want to rise to the top, you may not want to take my advice. But what I, what we have helped a lot of content creators do is become more successful.

and do it in a healthy fashion. And I think a big part of that is like understanding kind of who you are, why you're making content, recognizing that I hate to break it to you all, but if you really do want to grow, like consistent effort is a part of it. You can strike lightning once or twice. And generally speaking, you know, content creators will do that. Like you'll get something will happen. You'll wind up on the top of LSF, like whatever.

And you'll get an influx of people, you know, but there is a certain amount of consistency. And this is what you all have all learned, I think, right? Like so even though Ruby, I think Ruby is like a good example. I keep on bringing up Ruby because she was so detailed with like how she was doing stuff on a day-to-day basis. But what amount of that is like diminishing returns do you actually have to do it all? Because my goal here is to help you all be better content creators, more successful content creators, and healthier. And that's what we're really going to focus on. Yes, Ruby.

Can I say that when I let go of doing all of that stuff and just streamed, it felt it took a few weeks, but it felt like the biggest exhale of my life. And actually my stream got better. Absolutely. Because I was focusing on the right things. Absolutely. And so this is another, I think that echoes kind of, lays into my next point, which is, it's my belief that to be successful in content creation,

actually what you have to do is offer value. It's not about clickbait. It's about value. And I think that that's where, like, for whatever reason, each and every one of you has offered value at some point and in some way. And to try to really understand what is the value that we're offering. And there are two words for this, right? So there's like the feel good word.

and lean into that. Or there's the corporate word, maximize it. Both are the same thing. So I think each and every one of us has a particular kind of like approach to things in terms of are we thinking about it in terms of mathematics or kind of like spirituality, right? There's kind of this dichotomy between like numbers and metrics and stuff. But I think at the end of the day, you know, my hope is that we do share these experiences. I think we're learning a lot about what are the issues. but I want people to come away with like concrete understanding of how many days should I take off.

I want us to focus our direction on, and now we'll get to another important point. So sharing is a part of the value. But the real value that y'all are going to get is not by just hearing what other people say. It's when other people start to ask you questions. and bring out what you really need to be motivated by. So what I want to see is people asking Ruby, what was that process actually like? We know that Zell needs details.

Right? So like, what was the falling apart like? What did it feel like? What did you do? How did you decide to do ASMR instead of other stuff? What is the relationship between being a sound therapist, learning this kind of thing, this kind of thing, this kind of thing, and your ASMR.

Right? It's like asking all those questions and trying to understand, okay, like, what is the formula here? Because if we put together all the pieces that everyone has, we'll get a formula.

Now, this is going to have to be adapted to you. So then we're also going to ask questions like we're going to ask Kathy. Like, you know, what's it like, are you pretty happy with ABC, always be chilling? And, you know,

how did you decide that you didn't want to do more or do want to do more? Do you have regrets around that? Is there a part of you that, is there something you had to grieve when you went through that process? Or are you kind of content with that? Are you like, you know, what's going on there? And in terms of like metric and Zell, like, Zell, like, I'm getting the sense that Zell is hungry.

Y'all feeling that? Zell, are you hungry? I did eat just a little bit. So he's still hungry. He wants more. Right? So when Zell responds, with a joke, I don't know if I hit a nerve or I missed a nerve, right? So I don't know if I'm off

base or too close to home. I don't think you're too close to. I think you're straight on, though. I am, I am a hungry person. Yeah, right? So, like, it's our job to not just talk about feelings, but if Zelle is hungry and he's tired, I'm going to say something kind of brutal, right, but these are the words that I've heard you'll use. If he's tired of being a husband, we're not saying he is, but if that's how he feels, or maybe he is.

And if he is, like, that's a responsibility that we're going to pick up. We're not going to pretend. We're not going to pretend if that's the way that he feels and he's unsatisfied with where he is in life. This is where we have to decide as a group. I mean, I'm putting that on you,

but when I run a group, like, it's not about helping Zell with his feelings. It's about helping him do something that he can be proud of. It's not just like massaging his feelings into the oblivion. It's about like, okay, so what's that plan going to be? Right. And for each and every one of you to think a little bit about, okay, what are your goals?

What are your challenges? And we're going to help you with those things. I do a good job at like identifying the things I know I need to work on and it sits there in the back of my head and then I don't make a plan to like actually do anything about it. So okay what are we going to do about that y'all? Well I want actionable goals that like I can like compare to last like the last time I did it or the time before that and feel like I did it even better or at least get some sort of practice out of it. I mean you were like mentioning me alongside Zelle. I feel like like there's this like motivational speech that's circulating around TikTok and

it's about bawling your fist up and getting into a fist fight to get what you want and like I want a fight like I want my stuff I want what's mine I don't want to be denied anymore and I want to stop denying myself so like I feel like the biggest thing

in the way of getting what I want is me absolutely me like every single day so okay how do people feel about it? I'd say we are our own worst. I'd say we are our own worst critics.

Maybe not all of us. Maybe not all. It's not even criticism. I am generalizing. Yeah, it's not, it's not just criticism. It's like, criticism comes after the fact where I didn't do the thing that I wanted to do, or I didn't do it well enough. It's like, even like getting in front of the, getting the motivation to just do the thing,

right? Like, like, I'm going to have X amount of things done by tomorrow. And then I wake up and I'm like, oh my God, it's. Three in the morning, where did the day go? Okay. So I'm going to check in with Ruby and Kathy because I'm getting a certain energy from Smirky, metric and Zell. I just don't know if it just happens to be a gender breakdown.

But, you know, so how do you all feel about what metric Zell and Smirky? Do you all feel like that's kind of resonating with you? Are you hungry? Do you want to set goals for yourself? are you your own worst enemy? I wouldn't be surprised if your experience of where you are right now is different. I mean, I feel like that. Yeah, so let's talk about, let's give Ruby and Kathy a chance to share where they are.

Yeah, I've felt like that, and I know that feeling, but that just will lead me back to the hamster wheel. Excellent, okay? So where are you right now, Ruby? I have a lot of goals, and I know what I want to do and where I want to go. Part of it is confidence within myself to be able to fully realize my goals. And I've also learned that just myself and I feel like I'm constantly bringing up ADHD, but it's like my whole life. I've realized it affects everything.

You know, metric was like, oh, I wanted to do this many things in a day. I've stopped doing that to myself because it leads to feeling bad or feeling like I didn't get to the end of that day list that I wanted to get done. So then I will stay up late and I will push myself too far. Like I'm in a pretty good place physically now, but at one point in my life I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, which was part of my job. part of my yoga journey to getting back moving again because they just kept telling me to go for walks and I was like you want me to go for a walk I'll go do yoga um so yeah I I know that having too many things on my play and getting back into that place again is going to take me into like yeah that I'm I'm hungry but not in the same way I don't

I have a thing online and I plan everything out and working on and what I need to be working on. And I kind of just, it will get done when it gets done. And if something's not resonating with me and like that doesn't mean like I'm a flaky hippie. Like I'm getting stuff done. But if I put too much pressure on myself, that's when it all goes wrong. And then I'm back in the machine again. Yep. So this is where I think we're going to, so here's what I would like us to help Ruby with is, and I think this is going to apply to all of us, right? So how do we find the sweet spot of pressure? So there's this term in science called use stress. So we hear about distress all the time. It turns out that if you don't put enough pressure on yourself or things are not challenging enough, then we wind up in boredom. and if we push ourselves too hard, we end up in distress.

But if you look at optimal performance across fields, whether you're talking about medicine or e-sports or like athletic performance, there's a window of what we call you stress that brings out the optimal performance. So I want you all to think about, you know, like people who are competing in the grand finals of, let's say, a video game tournament. There's like a sweet spot of stress where if you want to play your best in that, game, there needs to be some amount of pressure on you. And what I'm hearing from Ruby is that she learned the hard way that she was putting way too much pressure on herself. And now she's

pulled back a lot, has kind of checked in with who she is, is creating content from a healthier place and is doing better. And at the same time, we want to be careful about, you know, is it possible for her to put more healthy pressure on herself without winding up on the hamster wheel? She may have actually already found the balance. We don't know. But that's definitely something we can kind of think about and talk about. Where are you with this stuff, Kathy? Oh, sorry, Zell, go ahead.

I just had a question because, like, so from my perspective, when I hear that, I'm like, I'm sure everyone has different tolerances to use stress and when it becomes distress. And then, like, is it symptomatically bad if you feel like you need a lot of stress in order to feel like you're functioning at your optimal? You know, like, because when I hear that, I was like, I think I'm generally, somebody who just likes to be under pressure, but is that also just symptomatic of something that's worse going on?

So that was kind of where my brain went. The short answer, I'm going to say, Zell, I know it's going to be kind of weird, is probably. So here's what we tend to do as human beings. Since we don't, we're not very reflective about stress and the relationship with our motivation, what we default to

is excessive stress to motivate us. So I'll give you all just a simple example. I don't know if you all have ever had to cram for a final exam. Right? So most people cram for final exams. And so what is the motivational energy that we use to, like, study? It's like an excessive stress. So, like, a lot of us will naturally learn to put ourselves in excessively stressful situations

in order to, like, provide dirty motivation. And then we become reliant on that, because then I start to think to myself, after I procrastinate and I study for the final, and I do okay, next semester I do the same thing, next semester I do the same thing. Then I make a statement like Zell made, which is I need to be unhealthily stressed in order to be productive. So that may be a statement of truth in the past. and I would hope that we can help you be more productive with less stress. And this is where thoughtfulness and kind of being a little bit careful about understanding ourselves and how we act and how we function and stuff, hopefully we can get there. I feel pretty confident about that.

So sharing experiences is fantastic, but we got to start thinking a little bit about what do we want to get out of us and how can we frame that and sort of build almost a plan for ourselves. Kathy, we haven't given you a chance. Where are you with all this stuff? In terms of the hunger you say, I guess, ambition, I think I'm channeling that more towards work because for work, yeah, I want to get things done. I'm very open to opportunities, networking,

but I don't really feel the same way about that for streaming. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. So my expectations, I guess, are a little different because I did a lot of soul searching before this. I had to like write down pros and cons list like, no, what makes me happy? Like I don't want to be someone who's like unhappy and just like I was super stressed out

all the time. And I realized like, you know, working more behind the scenes in the gaming industry is something that I found more value in for myself. I mean, it might not ring true for other people, but, you know, yeah, different perspectives. 100%. So I'm going to say a couple things. They may sound kind of weird. So the first is that, Kathy, if you've gone through this process and you feel pretty good about where you are, that's fantastic. Your role in this group, at least at the beginning, may be a little bit different because you've already gone through the process. So we may want, I would encourage you to share a little bit more about what has worked for you.

The other thing to think about is that as we talk about this stuff, you may feel like a little bit of an outsider if you're already kind of further along, which implies that everyone's on the same road. So just let us know if you start to feel that way. It doesn't mean that you don't belong here or anything like that. And then the last kind of thing that I'd kind of put to the group and also put to you, is that we're also here to help you. We're here to help you think about what your goals are, clarify what your goals are, things like that. And so it may require a little bit more work on all of our parts.

Because if everyone's kind of vibe in around this and you're like, eh, I'm kind of ABC, always be chilling. And so it's going to require a little bit more work on everyone's part to first of all inquire in terms of like, you know, what growth looks like for you over the course of the next eight weeks. So you may have to volunteer more or share more with if there's something that you're kind of working on or thinking through. And then we may have to like inquire more. The last thing to kind of consider, which I want to be very, very careful about is that if your ambition in the workplace is really where your mind is, then we're more than happy to help you with that.

The main concern that I have with that is that you have a job in the gaming industry. and I wouldn't want anything about the way that you frame the situation or anything like that to negatively impact your career within the gaming industry. So this is live streamed. And if you're saying like, oh, like, I want to get promoted, but my colleague is, you know, shady. Like, we don't want to get you in trouble. So we have to be very careful around that kind of boundary. Whereas, like, I think with content creation and stuff, it's like a little bit safer.

I just kind of want to acknowledge that. but we do do a lot of stuff. We see this, I don't know if you all are familiar, but we have a career coaching program, which is actually doing really well. It's something that we recently launched, and we manage a lot of corporate climbing kind of issues in there. So that's definitely something we can talk about and help you with,

but I just want to be a little bit cautious on your behalf about whether that's actually safe to do here. Thoughts, reflections. You okay with that? I'm fine with that. If anything, I could also draw on past work experiences too. Everything will be probably anonymous. Sure. Most likely.

Yeah. So we just don't want to do anything that's actually going to, you know, hurt your career. Anyway. Okay. So let's, I'm going to give you all homework. How did you all feel about homework last time? Was that okay? Did it feel excessive to people? Do you all want more or less structure? It didn't feel excessive to me.

Okay. Yeah, it was good. So I'm going to give you all some homework for this week. So what about you is holding you back? Are you writing this down, please? They did it last time. We can send it on our group DM. Thank you.

So, and then I want to kind of give you all some wiggle room there. The other thing that you can sort of really think about is when we talk about holding you back, it presumes that you want to. go somewhere. Right? So, like, part of that discussion, and this could be just as good, is where do you want to go? Now, these are sort of purposely left to be open-ended. We'll probably be a little bit more formal with how we come back.

So I understand we're probably taking next week off. Is that correct, everyone? Because I think a lot of people are going to tax. Yep, it's correct. Awesome. So we're going to take next week off. So I'm giving you all something that's a little bit more substantive. for those of you all that want more guidelines,

what I would say is, I'll type this out, but I would say like literally write up one page on either or both of these topics. So I think a solid like, you know, 300 to 400 words will probably be really, really good. You can, you know, write it physically. You don't have to write if you don't want to. You can think about it or take notes. But in my experience, when you write things, you may think you know what the answer is at the beginning of the page.

but by the end, almost everyone uncovers something that they were not expecting. What we'll also do next week is maybe, depending on how we'll check in, and presuming that stuff hasn't happened that we need to kind of address, we'll start to think a little bit about what we want and what's holding us back and kind of dig into that in a more formal way. Okay? Questions? Awesome.

Okay. closing thoughts reflections do we understand what we're doing here how do people feel about it i'm i'm enjoying these sessions a lot and like i already like think about things like my hamster wheel is always running um but um i guess it kind of in a good way exemplifies it it's making me critically think about like certain things that maybe i didn't think about before good having a great time so um i'm feeling less alone um which i've kind of not that like i i didn't have people to talk to or anything like that or even other streamer friends to talk to but this is like kind of a bit more intimate setting that it yeah it did it did kind of i don't know what the words are

I'm sorry, but yeah. Cool. Yeah, I'm really enjoying it and appreciating it. And yeah, I don't know if less alone is the, when you said it, I felt like the same. But I'm like, I don't know if I feel less alone. I don't really talk to anyone about stuff. It's nice to talk to people that do do other things to me because I don't really have anyone who does what I do. that I actually want to listen because a lot of other streamers that I know,

um, like kind of dismiss me. It's maybe that's how I feel, but it's nice to feel listened to. Yeah, it's good to like listen to other stories and like, you know, it's kind of like the intersection of all these different people, different backgrounds and it's like, you know, we can find some like really interesting stuff to talk about. And I think that's really power. Cool. Yeah, I've been enjoying these sessions as well. And when I say that I do prioritize work,

that doesn't mean like content creation. It's just in the garbage bin for me. Like I am interested on like trying out new things. Like maybe I will edit or manufacture things later on if I, if I find like, because like one of my biggest problems is I think I get very unmotivated sometimes, or I'm like depressed here and there, which is kind of one of the reasons why I was reaching out

for those coaching sessions with your company. So I recognize there's a lot of things I need to work on. Cool. And have you all gotten mental health support information in terms of clinical stuff? You all received that yet? Okay, so we'll get on that. So I think we're going to send you all something shortly.

about, you know, if you all are struggling with things like depression or ADHD or things like that, we'll try to help you all connect with people if you all, if that's something you're interested in. Okay? Appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you. Awesome. Awesome. So, you know, thank you all very much for coming.

I know it's just week two. So I think it's going to be, it tends to be a meandering kind of road that we walk. I don't know if we're going to get to all eight. of the teaching points, but one thing that I'm sort of definitely think we need to touch on. I think point number eight is being in the business of friendship. I think that's point number eight, right? I don't remember where it is. But I think this is definitely something that I think we should talk about at some point.

I think right now we're going to still focus on ourselves a little bit, but I think relationships, as metric was kind of pointing out, like sometimes people don't message you quite as much. Ruby is sort of noticing that people will, you know, not be kind of open, welcoming, discussing. And so content creation is very interesting because y'all are in the business of friendship. And so it's really interesting because like, you know, when someone wants to reach out to collab, you know, it's like, is this, by getting invited because this person likes me or is it because of my viewer base or what? And conversely, we've also heard from content creators that I'm a small content creator. I hung out with a large content creator. I actually genuinely

like this person and I want to hang out with them for personal reasons. But I'm terrified that if I ask them to do something, they will think that I'm, I'm clout chasing. Right. So at some point, we can definitely talk a little bit about how to navigate, you know, relationships in the content creation world, something we also have explored quite a bit. So, and if other topics kind of jump out to you and stuff like that, please kind of, you know, let us know, pitch them forward. If you're feeling kind of left out or you're feeling like you're not getting much from the group, let the group know. And I know that we're still,

I'm kind of maybe pushing, I'll ease up a little bit, but at some point we've got to start challenging each other and, you know, it can't just be all positive all the time. Probably still two or three weeks before we get there. But, and y'all are also welcome to say, hey, I don't think that we're doing a good job.

I feel like, you know, y'all can criticize me too. so thank you all very much for coming. I'm super optimistic. Really appreciate everyone's input, and it's awesome to have people who share so much and are also so different. That, I think, is going to be really what makes this very worthwhile for everyone involved.

Thank you all very much. Thank you for having us. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Dr. Chaos. Bye. Very well.