HealthyGamerGG - Why You’re Not Reaching Your Potential (Puer Aeternus Pt. 2)

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

In Part 2, Dr. K continues the conversation about the Puer Aeternus and the challenges that come with moving forward once we recognize the problem. This episode covers: Why we stay stuck even when we know what's wrong What it feels like to let go of old fantasies Tools to start making real progress The role of grief, structure, and support in real change If you're ready to stop overthinking and start taking action, this episode is for you. Check out more from Mrwhosetheboss on his YouTube channel: http://bit.ly/4nouudZ HG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3Szt HG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we're fit for your ambitions, whatever shape they may take. Whether you're planning for today or tomorrow, we've got the flexibility and know-how to help you reach your goals. Because we're built for what you're building. First Citizens Bank, fit for your ambition. Learn more at firstcitizens.com slash ambition. Hey, chat. Welcome to the Healthy Gamer Gigi podcast.

I'm Dr. Alok Kanoja, but you can call me Dr. K. I'm a psychiatrist gamer and co-founder of Healthy Gamer. On this podcast, we explore mental health and life in the digital age, breaking down big ideas to help you better understand yourself and the world around you. So let's dive right in. Let's get started. Welcome to other Healthy Gamer Gigi stream. My name is Dr. Aolo Kanoja.

Just a reminder that although I am a medical doctor, nothing we discussed on stream today, is intended to be taken as medical advice. Everything is for educational or entertainment purposes only. If y'all have a medical concern or question, please go see a licensed professional. Okay. So, y'all will not be deceived and y'all will not be denied. So I don't know what the title of today's stream.

Is it something like, why you don't live up to your potential? And many of y'all have correctly deduced that this is Poehre-Eyr-Turnis Part 2. And y'all are right. Okay? So a couple of things before we hop into the lecture. First is, y'all may notice that we have a chat again after many years. We have returned to chat. So chat is, it's an integrated chat.

So it's a chat across all of our platforms. So welcome chat. Next thing is just a quick reminder that we built this thing called meditation tracks. So if y'all are struggling with developing like a meditation practice, we built this. You have access to it if you have memberships. You have access to it if you bought a guide. It's to help you all actually structure a meditation practice, beginner, intermediate, and advanced paths that y'all can go down that will focus on impulse control and improving your

focus in emotional processing is the advanced tracks. And, you know, this is just stuff that we're building because people will be like, Dr. Kay, you teach all these different meditations. How do I know which one to do and for how long? So we like built this thing that tells you, breaks it down for you, forms tracks, et cetera, et cetera. Okay. Cool. Now, ah, chat, chat, chat, chat. What are we going to do with you, chat? Okay. So, about two weeks ago, I made the mistake of streaming. And I did this stream called Puera Turnus Part 2. I'm sorry, part one.

And let's just say it had a big impact on our community. So for like the last two weeks, I just did a search for Puera on our subreddit. Grow up for what? Dr. Kay's video on Puera Turner's hit me so hard that I feel like I've been slapped awake. My story with Puere boyfriend, Puera Turner's only one thing. why some never, title, why some men never grow up, doesn't do the stream justice. Video is incredible, giftedness in Puera Turnus, a misapplied archetype, a respectful critique, perspective from ex-Puera-Turnis, how to overcome it.

Why, I don't think Pueira-Turnis Part 2 will save you. I feel like it didn't go into address the keys issues. It would be great to get another video. Was life-changing, I cannot wait for part 2. I feel like I could be 100% more productive if someone else took over my life decisions just ordered me around by a robot, it goes on and on and on. So we struck a chord with our community. And a lot of the posts were like, what do I do?

Because at one point, and some of the posts are also like, because we talked about this one passage where the puer, let me see if I can find this. Okay. So like this is the text that we were kind of leaning into. which is a text by Marie-Louis-Mont-France called The Problem of Puera-Turnus, and Jung spoke of one cure, work. And having said that, he hesitated for just a minute and thought,

is it really as simple as all that? Is that just the one cure? Can I put it that way? But work is the one disagreeable word which no Puera-Ternis likes to hear. So a lot of people came out of this and were like, okay, is Dr. K. just telling us to just work? We'll just work fix it.

No, it won't fix it. Okay? Let's understand why. There is. I'm looking for one paper. Oh, yeah. So here's a post, for example. Pretty sure I'm a puera turnus,

but doing hard work doesn't seem to have fixed me. Okay? Okay. So people are like, Dr. Kay, are you just telling us to work? And just working doesn't work. we'll get to that in more detail. So this is hands down, and I've said this a couple of times,

this is hands down the hardest lecture that I've ever given. Okay? So it's going to be hard. It's going to be weird. It's not going to make a whole lot of sense. And if you listen to it, really listen to it, it could transform you. But if you listen to it in the wrong way, it won't touch you at all. Okay. So like, so I want you all to listen to my message, not my words.

This is also, I feel like, the peak of what Healthy Gamer is made for. And I think this lecture also is going to be the hallmark of the beginning of the death of the healthy gamer community. So this is like the beginning of the end. This is not a bad thing. And the reason I say that is because if y'all understand what I say today, you will no longer need this place. Okay? Like this is going to be the start of like y'all don't need us anymore. And this is a good thing.

So I've said this for years, right? That like the goal of Healthy Gamer is to no longer be here. And something about just doing this one lecture, right, resonated so deeply. with the community. This is the problem to solve. We are a community of Puere Aterni. We're a community of people who have potential and don't live up to it. We're a community of people who are gifted, but don't turn it into something.

I myself was a problem of Puera Aternus, and now I'm still a Puaer Aternus. But there is a fundamental change that can happen, where suddenly all of the potential that we start to have, constellates. Okay? So I'm going to do a little bit of background on what Poirre Ternes is, but I'm not going to go into, like, too much detail. I mean, we'll get there, but it's not going to be like,

there's going to be a short recap of the first lecture. Okay? So, and here's what I mean by this. So the problem of Puera Turnus is one of constellation. So let me see if I can find this. I'll just have to explain it my old way. Okay, I can't find the right passage. So the problem of Puera Turnus is one of unrealized potential.

The basic issue here is that Puera Turni, first of all, as an archetype, and we're going to go into what that means, okay? But the basic issue is that we have within us a voice that is creative and excited. Okay, that is the voice of the inner child. We get hyped about things. So Puera Turnus literally means puer means is the word for. male child. There's also Puella Aternus, female child. And Eternus means forever. So people who are stuck with this childlike view of the world. They cannot work hard. They cannot commit to things.

The key problem is that, and so this is sort of what I see, is that, like, it's a problem of, like, not being able to give up potential. That is why they cannot live up to their potential. right so any decision that I make in life any door that I walk through in life means that I am closing other doors if I get married to this person that means that I cannot get married to this person if I choose to major in this in college that means I can't major in that in college so many of us are like we're not we're paralyzed with being able to move forward because there's this idea of like what if it doesn't work. So we're going to read a couple of good examples. So let's just characterize this a little bit. Okay? This is our quick recap. There is another typical form of this disturbance. In this case,

the image of the mother, the image of the perfect woman who will give everything to a man and who is without any shortcomings is sought in every woman. So that each time he is fascinated by a woman, he has later to discover that she is an ordinary human being. Once he has been intimate with her, the whole fascination vanishes and he turns away disappointed only to project the the image anew onto one woman after another. In addition, there is an arrogant attitude toward other people due to both an inferiority complex and false feelings of superiority. Such people also usually have great difficulty in finding the right kind of job. For whatever they find is never quite right or quite what they wanted. There is always a hair in the soup. The woman is also

never quite the right woman. She is a nice girlfriend, but there is always a but which prevents marriage or any kind of definitive commitment. So Puera-Turnis is a life of hair in the soup. Something just doesn't work. It's like, okay, but like, I can't commit to it, right? I don't want to like lock in with this soup that has hair in it, which results in what H.G. Baines has described as the provisional life. That is the strange attitude and feeling that one is not yet in real life.

For the time being, one is doing this, or that, but whether it is a woman or a job, it is not yet what is really wanted. There's always the fantasy that sometime in the future, the real thing will come about. Okay? So this is the problem of Puerre. That like, we're just sort of existing, right? So we sort of live this life where we're like trying to keep our options open and we can't lock into one thing because what if it is the wrong thing?

And it's not what if it is the wrong thing. It's worse than that because it is the wrong thing. There is always a problem. There's never the perfect job. There's always a sense of settling. But we don't want to settle. We want that thing that we know is out there. If we can just find it, it'll be perfect.

So we can't afford to settle. And so we end up living what Baines calls as a provisional life. So provisional life is where one is existing, but one is not like actually living life to the fullest. Okay? The one thing dreaded throughout by such a type of man is to be bound to anything whatsoever. There is a terrific fear of being the singular human being that one is. There is always the fear of being caught in a situation from which it may be impossible to slip out again.

Okay. They generally do not like sports which require patience and long training. For puera turnus in the negative sense of the word is usually very impatient by disposition. so that such sports do not appeal to them, right? And then there's this story of like this person who learned all of these like yogic exercises and was able trained himself to sleep outdoors just because he didn't want to carry a pack. Right? So the Puere will never, or Puella, will never dame themselves to be ordinary. I would rather go through heroic growth and be exceptional in this way.

but it's not true heroism. It is avoidance of the dreary, avoidance of doing things like other people. Like, I'm not one of the plebs. For fuck's sake, I'm not always, I'm not one of the plebs. Okay? They do not like conventional situations. They ask deep questions and go straight for truth.

On the contrary, he lives in a continual sleepy days. That too is a typical adolescent characteristic. The sleepy, undisciplined, long-legged youth who merely hangs around his mind wandering indiscriminately so that sometimes one feels inclined to pour a bucket of cold water over his head. The sleepy days is only an outer aspect, however, and if you can penetrate it, you will find a lively fantasy life is being cherished within. They have great, great hopes and great, great dreams. Okay? And they also evoke a response of like wanting to throttle them. Like, oh, I'm going to

stop fucking sitting around and doing nothing. You have all these dreams in your head. Let me take a bucket of cold water and throw it over your head. This response is not just triggered by external people, is triggered by your own mind. So you will feel this response to this. Why can't I just snap out of it, make a commitment, and just get up and grind every day?

This is the problem of Puerre. Now, Jung spoke of work. the solution. But the kind of work that is dreary, that is drab, right? The Poirre is very impatient. So, like, we can get excited about things. But the moment that the excitement disappears, it's like, eh, I can't do it. So Poirres can work really hard. They're just not in control of their work. And this is what's so devastating about it is because we all know, right? We have this, like fantasy of like, not fantasy, we have this reality of there was 72 hours where I woke up. I felt great.

I was hyped. I was engaged. I wanted the flow state. I got the flow state. I produced something that was truly brilliant. And then day four rolled around, day five rolled around, and then I didn't feel like doing it. And instead of forcing themselves to continue doing it when they don't feel like, they search endlessly for the way to reignite that spark. I don't want to do the hard work. I want to find the

perfect optimization, yogic technique, supplementing, brain hacking, biohacking, spirituality, wellness, health, whatever, perfect environment, productivity solution, reading 100 productivity books, summarized in a 10-minute YouTube video, so I don't actually have to read the books. If I can, I want to, I bottled lightning for 72 hours. I don't want to generate a electricity using a treadmill, I want to learn how to consistently bottle lightning. This is the problem of puer. So today what we're going to do is go deeper. We're going to show y'all what the problem, first of all, what Puir is and what it isn't.

Then we're going to go through a series of like constellate, like things that patterns in the Puer mind. And then hopefully we will understand what it really is. the problem is that you can do nothing about this. You can do nothing about this. No action will fix this. And the reason no action will fix this is because this does not exist at the level of action. This exists at a very deep psychological level.

So actions, and this is kind of the problem, I want to show you all something. doing work doesn't work, even though it's the cure. That's the problem of puera. Pretty sure I'm a puera turnus, but doing hard work doesn't seem to affix me. Let's see if we can understand why. Let's go back like 150 years to what this lady said and see if a Reddit post from 11 days ago can be answered by a text that's like 100 years old. The puera turnus has to learn to carry on with work he does not like, not only with

work where he is carried away by great enthusiasm, which is. something that everybody can do. Primitive people who are said to be lazy can do that for as soon as they are gripped by something they, by something they work, even to the point of exhaustion. I would not evaluate that as work, but as being carried away by a festival of work. The work, which is the cure for Puera Turnus, is where he has to kick himself out of bed on a dreary morning again and again and take up a boring job through sheer willpower. Okay. So, per- But people say, but he's working hard, yes. But the reason he's working hard is he must have escaped to some other kind of work.

Or he must have run away from some other kind of work. So this is the problem. Work is the answer, but work will never fix it. Because even when you do work, when you work really hard, you are not doing the hard work. You are running away from the hard work by doing easy work. Got it? So like, y'all see that? And you know this, right?

You know that there's all, you would move mountains to avoid climbing a molehill. We will go through all. I will develop my own theory of integrated physics that combines Newtonian mechanics with quantum mechanics. I would rather do that than study for physics 101 and calculate friction of a pulley system. I will be great. I will be grand and I will be sacrificial. I will work incredibly hard, but I never going to do that. So when I say work is the answer, it's not the answer.

It is the answer and it's impossible to do. So now the question becomes, okay, how do we do it? Like what do we do? Okay, so now we have to understand, I didn't go into this because I didn't know this would be important, but whatever. So we have to understand what an archetype is. Okay. So Jung, okay. This is going to be hard.

So Jung was a psychoanalyst, and he came up with this idea. Didn't really come up with it. Popularized in the West this idea of something called a collective unconscious. So he's like, we have our regular conscious, conscious awareness. We have our subconscious. And then there is this weird collective unconscious which connects us. us all. Okay? Like there is some fundamental thing which is deep. And this thing is more primordial. It's not like, so at the surface level of your conscious thoughts, thoughts are very crystallized.

They're formed. Even at the subconscious level, there are personality constructs, things like borderline personality disorder. You can like, it's like a crystallized thing. Do you all get that? There's like, there's trauma, and then if trauma coalesces in the right way, you will have BPD. If it coalesces in a different way, you will have narcissistic personality disorder. And then at the surface level of BPD, we will have even like more crystallized thoughts. This person is going to abandon me no matter what. Okay, so there's the super crystallized, directly observable level of consciousness, which is thoughts. then there is a less crystallized but still crystallized personality architecture,

which is not directly observable. So if you look at five-factor model, like you can't study your thoughts for five seconds, 10 seconds, 10 minutes, and know what your five-factor personality is. You can't do that. But if you do a deeper exploration, you can get it out. Does that make sense? And then even deeper than that, which is less crystallized, but more primordial are these archetypes.

These are like general things that exist in the subconscious that we all share. So the Puera archetype is like the child within us, the part of us that gets excited. Okay? And when it gets excited, it like longs for things. But the child within us also doesn't like hard work. So when the Puaire attribute, which is deep, and we are all connected by it, right? And like, if you guys want to know what we are all collected by it looks like,

it looks like this. This is what it looks like. This is the archetype. Do you all get this? Like, we are connected. We all feel it. We're like, this is me. It's a lecture.

It's not about you. Do you all get that? This is a guy on the internet speaking. That's not you. That can't be you. It's words transmitted across fiber optic cables to pixels on a screen. This cannot technically be you. But it is.

If you look at healthy, gamer, what is healthy gamer? It's a movement, right? This is why there's all this cult energy. Because we're not connected just through words. We're connected like on a deeper level. Y'all get that? Like, I know you. People will walk up to me and they'll say, Dr. K, you have changed my life. How is that possible? I've never fucking met you. Think about it for a second, right? But there is like a connection, which we feel. We are transformed. People will come to me and they'll be, you changed my life.

I've transformed you. Wow. That's pretty cool, right? So this is the key thing about Poirre. You cannot do anything. You must be transformed. That's the only way it works. This psychology within you must shift.

And if it shifts, all of these lack of, follow through things will start to constellate and you will start to live a life, a full life, a complete life. The reason I know that is because I was a puer that was not constellated. Now I am a puer that is constellated. Okay. So like, just let's be factual for a second. 2.5 GPA graduated in five and a half semesters.

No money. shitty, rejected from medical school. I'm 26 years old. I got shit. I haven't done anything. I have all these great ideas. Today, married, influencer, author, doctor, Harvard, entrepreneur. What the fuck?

Gamer. Degenerate. Like, what the fuck? How is this change possible? The change is possible because the Puerre within me transformed into the healthy version. And then suddenly all of my creative impulses started manifesting in the world. Right. So like I started fucking doing shit when I got excited. And so I'll give you all like a literal example. I've been at VidCon in L.A.

doing podcasts and stuff like that for the last week. I flew in on Wednesday. On Thursday morning, about 27 hours ago, I got on a call with our content director. Content director says, hey, Dr. Kay, we're behind on videos. We need you to fill some shit. And I was like, contact director, bro. I want to do a stream on Puera and Ternis tomorrow. And he's like, well, we have to do all this other shit. And I was like, I want to do it tomorrow.

There's a lot of stuff that the world demands of me. I feel inspired to do something. And so what I did is grind the fuck yesterday, grind the fuck this morning. I'm going to grind the fuck tomorrow. I'm going to grind the fuck on Sunday. I'm going to run the fuck on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I have a ton of work ahead of me. That is the price I have to pay in order to do what I want, to have my dreams become a reality.

Do you all understand that? I'm not trying to, like, do this to flex. I'm just telling y'all that if you want to be a constellated puer, you have to pay a price. Now, people will ask me in these, like, interviews and shit, right? Dr. Kay, what's your secret to success? What do you think everyone should do? And what I tell them is like the one thing that really shocked me about becoming successful is how many good things I had to walk away from.

So I worked really hard, not to do this, but wound up as faculty at Harvard Medical School. It is a coveted thing. And I left to do this. I was well on my way. grinding really hard to achieve some sort of spiritual progress, walked away. And if you guys go back and you all have listened to my circle jerk answers, y'all will have heard me say this, that like life is a series of walking away from really good things. That is how you live fully.

I didn't realize that this is what I was doing at the time. Right? But if you want to live life fully, you need to reduce your potential. then like something weird happens where like the more doors you close the more you get everything behind them and it's like weird but that's like that's true okay like and i'm not saying this to like flex or honestly i'm just telling y'all this works and we know like there's the other reason we know it works is because when we don't do this it doesn't work because what happens is we don't want to close any doors we don't want to close off any doors we don't want to close off any.

potential. And since we don't want to close any doors and since we don't want to close off any potential, we end up like spinning in the waiting room of life. And then doors close on us anyway. And as doors start to close, as opportunities start to close, because we never took the plunge, right? So potential starts to close. And then we feel more panicked. And then it becomes really important to make the right decision. Because now, like, oh my God, I lost this opportunity, lost this opportunity, last year. I have three left. Which one do I pick? Which one do I pick? Which one do I pick? And so if you're an unconstulated puer, your life is a series of getting bumped around by ping pong balls. Or not ping pong balls. A pinball machine. Imagine you're a pinball machine. You become a pinball in a pinball machine.

And you're just getting smacked around. Like you're like, if this thing happens, if this bumper, like, if I hit this button, then like, and you just have two buttons at the bottom of your pinball. all you know how to control. It's like if I can, if I can hit, if everything lines up right, I can hit the button at the right time. This is the one thing I can do well. Then I can like get some energy and I can control where I want to go. But there's this like thing in the middle that's like 10,000 points and as try as you might to hit your two buttons because that's what you've got, right?

You've got like porn and you've got video games and you're like, eh. It's so hard and you know it's possible if everything lines up right and you use your two buttons, then you can get to the 10,000 points in the middle and you can win. But you don't want to work the hard way. You just keep on using these two buttons. Okay? So what we're talking about is an archetype and an archetype that has to come out in a healthy way. And when the archetype comes out in a healthy way, you will be transformed. Then the actions will flow. Then you will be able to do it. So let's talk a little bit about how to do that. Okay. So one of our students has evolved the idea that there is something like a defective self, that in certain people whose fate is very

unfortunate, the symbol of the self appears defective, which would mean that such people have no chance in life because the nucleus of their psyche is incomplete and defective. So the whole process of individuation cannot develop from this kernel. Y'all have seen this, right? This is like, I am screwed, there's nothing I can do. I'm fundamentally broken. Exists within our community. People have this attitude. I do not agree with this idea because I have never seen such symbols of a defective self

without an accompanying defective attitude of the ego. That means that wherever you find such a defective self symbol, where it is ambiguous and incomplete and morbid, there is always at the same time an incomplete and morbid attitude of the ego. And therefore, it cannot be scientifically asserted. that the cause of the whole thing lies in a defective self. Okay? So here's what that kind of means.

Okay, so I'm going to pause for a second, then I'm going to read more. All right? So some people, so if we look at like the problem of Puir, people are like, okay, like I'm a Puir, how do I fix that? You don't fix it. A lot of people believe that they're fundamentally broken in life. And there's nothing that can be done to fix it because they've tried. But it's not that you are fundamentally broken.

it is that the way that you relate, the part of you that shepherds and controls all of these archetypal energies like Puir, that is the thing that is busted. There's nothing wrong with Puir. Puir is great. It is Puir that is inappropriately managed that takes this beautiful force

that then becomes destructive. Okay? So this is a great analogy. this is where the lecture becomes like hard, and it's only going to get harder, okay? So try to follow. And if you don't follow, watch it again,

and I'll try my best. But on the other hand, it can just as well be said that if one eats all the wrong things or does not eat or eats irregularly, then it is not the stomach which is at fault. This, the defective self, always goes with an ego

which does not function properly either. If the ego is lazy, inflated, not conscientious, does not perform the duties of the ego complex, then it is clear that the self cannot appear positively either. Okay? So what this kind of means is like this is talking to this core conflict of like, okay, is, do I have, so if I eat all the wrong things and eat at irregular times,

and then I say, my stomach is bad, right? My stomach is like a trash stomach. Is it the stomach that's at fault? or is it the irregular eating and the irregular diet that's at fault? The same analogy can be applied to Puir. So some of us believe we are fundamentally broken, but are we fundamentally broken? Or are we not fundamentally broken,

but the way we are channeling or accessing that energy, that is flawed. Okay? So let's kind of drive that point home a little bit. So if the man were here today who would certainly object and say, no, it is the other way around. The ego cannot function because the self is defected. I'm fundamentally broken. I'm not making the wrong choices. It's not that I'm choosing to eat the wrong things. Like, my stomach is effed. Really, bro. Then we are confronted with the age old philosophical

problem of free will. Can I want the right thing? That is the problem which the Pereira Turner's will generally put to you. He will say that he knows that everything goes wrong because he is lazy, but that he cannot want to be lazy. I don't choose laziness, right? Lazyness is a feature of me. Everything in my life is going wrong because I'm lazy. But that's not something that I choose. It's the way that I am. And all of those other people out there aren't lazy. That's why they're successful. That perhaps that is his neurosis, that he is unable to fight his laziness, and therefore it is useless to treat him as a rascal for whom everything would go right if he were not so lazy. Okay?

So this is a little bit weird. But it's like this core problem of like, okay, like other people are good, but I'm fundamentally lazy. That's why I can't do anything in life. This is the core problem of puer. So when the ego structure, so let's talk a little bit more technically now, so we have all these archetypal. within us. These are like, you can think about them as like impulses, drives, fundamental drives, like the father, the mother, the caretaker, the protector, the trickster, the wise old

person within us, the child, all of these are archetypes. And we have this thing called the ego, which in the Jungian sense and Freudian sense, psychoanalytic sense, also translates over to the Eastern sense pretty well. if your mind is not able to harness and channel that creative drive, it becomes a problem. Okay. So let's talk about for a second how to fix it. Okay. So this thing is within us.

So, but Jung says that there is no sickness in the collective unconscious. And so as the self is an archetype, it does not seem to me that there can be anything defective. So there's nothing wrong with Puer. I think that if it appears defective, it is because. of the wrong ego attitude. Objectively, in itself, it cannot be defective, which is why it cannot accept the idea of the defective self. If the ego is able to change, something else changes.

If the ego attitude changes, then the symbols of the self become more positive. That is something we can experience again and again. If the person can achieve a certain amount of insight, then the whole unconscious constellation changes. So this is what makes this hard. succeeding with Puir is not about doing anything. It is about changing our relationship with our self. It is an internal change, and it happens at a deep level,

at the archetypal, at the level where the archetype meets the unconscious, or maybe where the archetype meets the conscious. This is why you can't do it. This is why, as we'll see, the Puera archetype, until you change this constellation, it will keep hijacking what you do. All of your attempts for improvement will not work. There is a fundamental stuckness that if you transform it, then suddenly all of this creative energy flows forward in a positive way. So now the question becomes, how do we do that? So what I'm going to do now is go through a series of characterizations.

So the best strategy that I've got is to show y'all basically like how it works. So I'm going to show you the way that the Poir archetype functions in your mind. And if you all want to conquer this thing, what you have to do is notice all of these drives. Because it's really tricky. Okay, so like, I don't know if this makes sense. Like, I'm going to show y'all the move set. Imagine you're playing Street Fighter 6 or Tekken or whatever. There's a character called Puir, and you're fighting against this character.

I'm going to show you all the move set that this character uses. It has this kind of throw, this kind of jump kick, it can counterattack in this way. But I can't fight it. You have to step into the ring, and if I show you what's coming, there's a chance. that you will like be prepared, but then you have to hit the buttons. There is no way to get out of this without hitting the buttons. I can't do it for you. And nothing that I tell you will work.

It must be a struggle of your own ego complex with this destructive Puerre archetype. Okay. So the first thing that we're going to talk about is the gesture of impatience. Okay. So then something absolutely classic happens, namely the gesture. of impatience. That is typical for puera turnus. When he has to take something seriously, either in the inner or outer world, he makes a few poor attempts and then impatiently gives up. My experience that it does not matter if you analyze a man of this type, whether you force him to

take the outer or inner world seriously, that is really unimportant, though perhaps it depends on the type. The important thing is that he should stick something out. That is why such a people tell you suddenly that they have another plan, that this is not what they were looking for. They always, and they always do it at the moment where things become difficult. It is the everlasting switching, which is the dangerous thing, not what they do. So here's the problem of Puir. Y'all are looking for the right answer. There is no right answer.

Anyone who tells you this is the right answer, myself included, will not work. the problem is not in the answer it is in the way that you relate to the idea that there is an answer as long as you believe that you're fucked because then what'll happen is the changing from one answer to the other it doesn't matter which one you pick just don't change that is the real answer right so when i want to do this lecture of puera turnus i don't get to can the other stuff that I have to do. I don't get to switch. I lop things off.

Stick with something. Make a sacrifice. That is what you need to do. And then if you're not careful, the puer will be like, how do I know which sacrifice to make? It doesn't matter. What you need to learn is the ability to make a sacrifice.

Okay? Another thing that we talked about, so the second thing is that, this idea that you are defective, you're not defective. The way that you relate, so if you're fundamentally defective, there's nothing you can do. The way that you relate to your undefective self is what makes you defective. You take your perfect self and you transmute it into something that is fundamentally broken. Because as long as it's fundamentally broken, then you've got an excuse. Then you don't have to do the hard work. The key thing about Puerre, when it is in its destructive form,

is that it avoids hard work at all costs. So what you'll notice is there's this twisting and turning. Just don't want to work hard. I just don't want to do something bad. And this is the real tragedy of it is that you don't want to be bored. You don't want to do something bad. You don't want to stick something out. And in avoiding all of that stuff, you end up with like a dead end job.

Or you end up with a career that pays your bills but isn't fulfilling. You don't ever take the plunge. You don't ever take a chance. You sort of like live in this. limbo state where you're getting your needs met, when your distress becomes so high, you're moved to a temporary form of inaction. So it's kind of like you're this volcano that's rumbling beneath the surface, and when some critical point happens, you'll erupt. You'll erupt even every day by slogging your ass to work,

doing whatever dead-end shit you need to do that is spiritually bereft, and then you come home, and then you're like, I can't do anything, and I'm tired and I'm exhausted, and you never, like, you never, like, quit, right? You never, like, take the plunge. You never leave, your job and start your company. You don't leave your boyfriend or girlfriend because things are comfortable and then you have to find, how are you going to pay rent? You can't afford rent. So you might as well stay with this person, even though the relationship feels dead inside.

And for those of you who are not paying attention or whose Puaire is not paying attention is not right, whose Pua is hyperactive will say, is Dr. K just saying I should fucking quit my job and break up with my girlfriend? He doesn't understand what my life is like. That's not what I'm saying. you do anything that I tell you to do in today's lecture, it's not going to work. It's never going to work. Right?

And notice what happens when your mind says that. Notice what happens. I'm telling you to take the plunge, ain't going to do it. The way that you're not going to do it is by criticizing me. This guy doesn't understand my life. Oh, fucking A. Puerre's thrilled. Oh, shit.

That was a close one. There's this guy on the internet that seems really smart that I've been following for years oh man, I really thought he was great, but the moment he told me to take the plunge, fuck, man, that was close. I almost listened to him and did the hard work. People are saying, I'm lost, and people are saying, caught me? Yes. That's what's hard about this.

This lecture is going to leave half of y'all behind, and I'm sorry, this is the best that I can do. And because I didn't give in to my internal puer, I said, I'm going to do a shitty job at an important lecture instead of waiting to be able to do. do it right and perfectly. And it's going to leave half of y'all behind, which is fine. Sorry. And it's not because y'all are dumb.

It's because I hope you all can tell this is not my best, right? I'm piecing things together. I'm making mistakes in the lecture. This is like hard for me. Okay? You'll get that? And it's fine. It's just like, that's why y'all don't get it.

It's not because you're dumb. It's because I don't know what the fuck. This is the first time I've tried to tie together so many things, and it's going to get harder. Like, we're just getting started, okay? So there is no defective self. Next thing. Next, next move. Now we're going to get into throws, okay?

The greatest difficulty we drag along with us from our childhood is the sack of illusions, which we carry on our backs into adult life. The subtle problem consists in giving up certain illusions without becoming cynical. Just poor children who have grown up in the slums and had a terrible family and fate are very rich children who had all the same miseries except lack of money. Divorced parents, a bad atmosphere at home, and so on. That is where the feeling atmosphere has been neglected, which is so important for children. Such people often grow up quicker than others because at a very early stage they become very realistic, disillusioned, and self-contained and independent.

Okay? If you analyze such people, you find that they have not worked out the problem of childish illusions, but have just cut it off. Having simply assured themselves that their lack, their desire for love and their ideals, simply hammer them like a sack of stones carried on their back. So they must all be done away with. So here's another key thing. You can be rich. You can be broke. Okay?

Doesn't matter. So what a lot of people have is they have this sack of childish illusions. When we grow up, we have this idea of what the world is. Why are you unsatisfied with your life? Because you have an idea that there's something better out there. You see all these influencers or you see all these people like tech bros or what the fuck doesn't matter. Like, I don't care. Like whatever it is, right?

Where did you get? This is the problem. Where did you get the idea that life is better or could be better than what you were experiencing? This is the childish sack of illusions that we carry with us. As we go through life, we constantly think, oh, like, I'm unlucky, this could be better, this person is doing better, this person is doing better. So this is what's so tricky about it is like we carry this idea that something could be better. But it is this idea that something could be better, which is based on a childlike fantastic, impression, which prevents us from seeing what the world really is.

So you can get all of the things that your childlike illusion wants. The path to them just involves a lot of hard work and a lot of uncertainty. A lot of closing off of potential, a lot of sacrifice. You can get it all. It's just not in the way that you want. And they hold on to this idea. And so in your mind, what this will look like, is like, it's like you want to work in this job.

But so I, you know, I had a client once who felt really smart, had a degree from a prestigious institution and wanted to join companies, didn't have a great work history. At 33, he wanted to join companies at the executive C-suite level. He's like, I'm badass. I'm amazing. I'm not going to work through some entry-level shit. I'm going to go straight to the top because that's where I deserve to be. doesn't want to slog.

And it's the fact that they didn't want to slog that ended them up with a prestigious degree from Harvard Business School, 33 with a shit work history. Didn't want to slog. I want to jump straight to the top. Because you have this idea, you have this childish illusion

that you can jump straight to the top. It's entitlement. That's a good word. Okay? Now, here's the problem. So, if you analyze such people, you find that they have not worked out the problem, they've not worked out the problem of childish illusions,

but have just cut it off, having assured themselves that their desire for love and their ideal simply hammer them like a sack of stones, carried on their back, so they all must be done away with. This we see in our community as well. So there is a response to this, okay? So step one is, childish illusions,

this is what I want to do, this is the way the world should be. I enter the world, the world doesn't look like that, so I give up, I'm impatient, all that kind of stuff. maybe I think I'm fundamentally broken. Do you all see how the path of Puaire is like climbing a mountain on a tightrope? Climbing to the top of a mountain,

walking on a tightrope to the top of a mountain with a dozen different ways to fall off. So we've talked about two of the problems. Here's another one. So one way that people respond, if you have all these childish illusions about the way the world should be, it should be good,

and I deserve this, and I'm entitled to this and like all that kind of stuff, right? I'm not making a moral, don't get caught up. This is another thing. Don't get caught up in whether that's true or not true or the fuck. I don't care.

I'm just using those as examples. This is what I'm talking about right now. If you want to ask me what I think the world should be like, that's a separate conversation. So then what happens is you realize, okay, the things that I want, what I want is not possible. You realize that your illusions are false. And then the puir does something really dangerous. They amputate them. They don't work through them.

They're just like, no, I don't want this. I become anti-work. I become anti-capitalism, even though I want money. I lop it off. I'm an in-cell. An amputation of a part of you that want something. This is your inner child. This is the part of you that has joy and awe and inspiration and excitement when you look at the world.

But it gets transmuted into this illusory form. The drive is real. The archetype is real. You know that there's truth to it. Like, y'all know that. You know you can be great. But something along the way happens where this primordial subconscious, as it filters, sorry, the primordial unconscious,

is it filters through your personality structure, as it filters through your cognitive structure, turns out in a weird way, in a non-healthy way, in a unconstulated or unformed way. And then things don't work. And what is easy to do when I've got like a really, really good start and then I put it through whatever, the strainer,

and I end up with something that is shit, the strongest and easiest defensive reaction is to just chop the whole thing down. To give up. Not work through it, not find a way to work. To give up. Amputate your desire. And if y'all are Poirres, y'all have done this, probably.

You've taken something that you're really excited about. You've become cynical about it, and you've said, this is never possible. This is fucked. This is not possible. I'm therefore, I don't want it anymore. You get rid of your want, and you lose a piece of yourself. Okay. Oh, you guys, now we're going to talk about finishing moves.

Y'all ready? Finish him. However, all that he praises he does not stand by, for he assimilates the whole thing intellectually and takes it back to his imaginary world. It is a trick which many puyre a turn-eye form. The realization that they should adapt to reality is an intellectual idea to them, which they fulfill in fantasy but not in reality. The idea is executed only in reflection and on a philosophical level, but not

on the level of action. It looks as though they have quite understood, as if they have the right attitude, as if they know what is important and right, but they don't do it. Do you all understand? This whole thing, all of the answers that we're sharing with you,

will be colonized by the Poirre, and you'll turn it into a philosophical thing, right? You'll spend time on the internet arguing about right and wrong instead of serving the homeless in a soup kitchen. You will spend time posting things on the internet looking for answers. Grow up for what? This is beautiful. For what? Right?

So like, this is staggering. I was glued. But why should I do it? It hits this. You'll get this? I'm not trying to like shit on this person, by the way. And we'll get to community in a second. But this part, like, you'll see the Poirre.

The Poirre is like, it hit me. But why? Why should I do it? So this philosophical, weird fucking thing is like, if it's lands and if you know it's true, the Poirre rises up within you, it's like, no, I will not lose to this. I'm going to counter combo. I'm going to turn it into philosophy. I'm going to reflect.

Why should I do this? Give me a reason. me an existential reason. I'm not going to, fuck me, don't tell me to fill out resumes. Give me an existential reason for why I should, even though it hits. So the Poirre complex will intellectually claim whatever insight you do have. As transformation starts to happen, it'll be like, no. It does this really tricky reverse combo thing. And if you all like pay attention to these posts, you all will see these patterns. You'll see Puerre visible, right?

Why not? So like, oh, like, I was staggered. I was glued. Never in my 40 years have I felt so understood. Why not live in fantasy? Why bother being in a relationship if it's just mad? How is that better than staying alone? There it is.

Holy shit. This is wild. Marie-Louise von Frans in like 1905 or what other fuck when this was written. On page 43 of her. Her text, I'm not reading you. She's reading you. She called it. And look at this, 138.

Look at that. This ain't a small number of upvotes for our subreddit. I'm not trying to call this person out to say that they're bad. You guys get that? This is the pattern. Okay? Next thing. You guys want more or you guys want to move on to solutions?

Okay. More. Okay. Let's keep going. We've got a couple left. That, I think, is one of the trickiest problems in the specific neurotic constellation, that the Puera Turnus tends to grasp it everything, which would be the right thing to do, and then to draw it back into his fantasy theory world. He cannot cross the very simple border from fantasy to action. Okay.

So he cannot cross the very simple border. Let me see. Okay. So then this, okay, I'm going to keep reading this. Okay. He cannot cross the very simple border from fantasy to action. It is also the dangerous curve in the analysis of such people, for unless the analyst constantly watches this problem like an alert fox, the analysis will progress marvelously.

The Puera Turnus will understand everything, will integrate the shadow and the devil's watchdog behind it. It is all a sham. The whole integration takes place up in the sky and not on earth, not in reality, so that it comes down to having to play the governess and ask what time he gets. up in the morning, how many hours have been worked in the day, and so on. It is a very tedious job, but that is what it boils down to because otherwise the fantastic self-deception occurs, which can very easily catch the analyst.

So this is, like, even as the analyst, if you're in an analytical relationship with a puer, they will eat what you're serving with a big ass spoon. They'll be like, oh, man, this is so great. I feel so seen. I feel so heard. I feel so rocked. I feel so whatever. feel heard. Dr. K is great. I made a breakthrough. Everything's awesome. Like, oh my God, this is amazing.

I can't wait for part two. But I'm not doing anything. I'm never doing anything. I can't wait for part two. Part two is going to be great. I'll do something after part two. So they can even do all of the work. But y'all have been saying, I've been catching you from not in day one, but, you know, I've been catching you a lot. And that's why, because if I don't catch you, it'll slip past. Then you have to start catching yourself. Once you start catching yourself, the transformation has the space to happen. Okay?

All right. I'm going to show you all one more, okay? So we also have a very mature community, right? The Puera Turneris very often has this mature, detached attitude toward life, which is normal for old people, but which he acquires prematurely. The idea that life is not everything, that the other side is valid to, and that life is part of the whole existence. I have met many people with a similar difficulty constellation who do that. They live only on condition, which means that they secretly, that secretly they constantly flirt

with the idea of suicide. At every step of their lives, they think that they will try something or other, and that if it does not work, they will kill themselves. The Puera Turnus always keeps his revolver in his pocket and constantly plays with the idea of getting out of life if things get too hard. The disadvantage of this is that he is never quite committed to the situation as a whole human being. There is a constant Jesuitical mental reservation. I will go into this, but I reserve my right as a human being to kill myself if I can't stand it anymore. I shall go through the whole experience to the bitter end. If it becomes too unsufferable, for if it does, I shall walk out of it.

And therefore, the person does not become whole. If one cuts off the wholeness of the experience, one cuts oneself into bits and remains split because of transformation. Oh, because transformation can only take place if one gives oneself completely to the situation. So this is what I've seen. So I've worked with a lot of gifted kids, worked with a lot of degenerate gamers, worked with all these, like kind of people, like all these poohairs. And suicide is the ultimate escape hatch.

If things get too hard, I can always peace. out. So I had a patient once who kept a noose in their basement. And the thing was they didn't want to die. They wanted to live. But the noose was a source of comfort. It was a source of safety. That if I do want to, if this gets too hard for me, I've gotten out. It is the suicide is the ultimate and not just suicide itself. The capacity for suicide. You are telling the world, I have one final Trump card that will allow me to escape any commitment. The world can demand whatever commitments it wants of me. I don't have to fully commit to them.

So we see suicidality. Not necessarily suicide, but the, and this is like kind of how we know, like, if suicide for you is like the ultimate relief, right? It's not like escaping the pain right now, which is oftentimes what it is when it's acute and if y'all are feeling that, in both cases you should see a mental health professional. In the case of acute suicidal, you all should really seek emergency services.

I mean that. But suicidality for the puer looks a little bit different. It's like your parachute if things get too hard. It's your ultimate escape. And this is the whole problem of Puir is that if you leave yourself an escape hatch, if you are never willing to commit,

if you never take the plunge, then you will never live life. you'll live, as Bain said, a provisional life, a half-life. Three. Y'all get me? Okay. Now comes the hard part. These are the patterns of Poirre.

So what do we do about it? Anyone else pissed at Dr. K's socioeconomic views? This post was sparked by the most recent H.E. YouTube video, why you feel so drained, yet my resentment. towards the issue has been building up for a while now. To start off, I'm a four-plus year HG fan, and I love Dr. K's work. While my tone may be sharp, nothing in this post is intended to be intended as a personal attack or a devaluation of HG's massive contribution to the mental health space.

In HG's most recent video, Dr. K roasts a 20-something girl on TikTok for not being able to hack it on a 24K salary in 1660 monthly rent. The premise is that the younger generations were spoiled by the boomer economy and that life was not meant to be easy and effortless as we were led to believe. The solution is basically to have your blood work done to rule out somatic issues, use yourself on less, and then do a little bit more work every day, whether you feel like it or not. Kaizen, baby, let's go. Dr. Kay then pads this tough love with some anecdote of his Indian grandmother running out

of flour, blah, blah, blah, blah. How dare he complain about 40-hour work weeks and having to do chores on the weekend in Europe and America? What Dr. Kay fails to disclose is the fact that he, himself grew up in enormous socioeconomic privilege and never had to personally face any real hardship regarding money and survival. As such, his tough love comes across as acrimonious and uncompassionate. Okay? So this person goes on to say, you know, all the privilege that I had. Okay? Could she be more optimized for sure? However, some of us aren't running from laziness. We're running on fumes.

And before you preach hard work and hustle from a tower of generational wealth, try asking what it feels like to build a life with no net, no map, and no rest. Okay? Dr. Kay's advice comes across this tone deaf. And look at this, 368. This is huge. A lot of people resonate with this. Okay. So I want you all to pay attention to what's happening here. Okay. I'm not saying this person is right or wrong. Now what we're going to do is read this. Through the transference, they begin to hope that perhaps they might trust or love. love again. I got to pause for a second. We got to talk about transference. So in psychotherapy, there's this concept of transference. And what happens when you're sitting with your therapist

is that your therapist is supposed to say neutral. And the reason that they stay neutral is if they stay neutral, the way that you, what starts to come out, they kind of create a vacuum, right? So normally when two human beings interact with each other, you're responding to my signal, and I'm responding to your signals. You're an idiot. No, you're an idiot. You're a stupider. No, you're stupider.

Now, if one person is neutral, what comes out of the other person, right? So if I'm like hitting the tennis ball across the net, you're hitting it back. And you're responding to what I'm giving. And the responses go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So these analysts, Freudian, Jungian, whatever,

discover there's this really cool thing that happens, which is that if you're neutral, the person starts projecting onto you. So if you give them nothing, something from them will come out and will be placed upon you. Right? So if there's like neutrality, it's kind of like nature abhor is a vacuum. If you just, if you as a human being sit with another human being and you are a vacuum, you'll pull stuff out of them. So this is what happens with transference. This is why we use it.

And that's where the real money is. The stuff that really bothers people, like the deep stuff in there, can only come out when you are a vacuum. So, basically, what the problem of Poir is, is when you're working with a Poir, they will eventually evoke a transference towards you. And that transference is where the healing happens in an analysis. So they start to project onto you. And it is in that projection that the healing happens. But when that projection happens, there is a huge step. So here's the step.

First, step number one is I'm hopeless because I've tried and nothing works. Step number two is the analyst shows up. And the analyst is great. And the analyst has all of the answers. Step number three is a disillusionment in the analyst. This guy can't help me after all. This guy is false. This guy doesn't get it.

This guy kind of does this sort of stuff. This is the steps of transference. This is why this is important. No hope. Hope in someone else disillusionment with self. The fourth step, can y'all guess what the fourth step is? This perfect person cannot help me. What is the next step, y'all?

Why does this have to happen? What does this pave the way for? Self help. So, y'all may say, Oh my God, Dr. Kay is such an asshole. He's calling this person out, right? And it's got 368 upvotes. Let's read the top response.

Did we watch different videos? I just watched last night, and he spent half the time harping on how unfair the situation is and emphasizing that no solution is good, but framing his advice is the lesser of two evils. At no point does he roast her or suggest that what is happening is how things should be. It's also important to understand he isn't giving her advice specifically because he doesn't know her full situation.

He's using her question to give more generally applicable advice. I honestly thought it was a bit overdone and that obviously the audience would understand he's giving you something you can control. But reading this post, I understand why he did it. This is why I call this transference. Not because I'm right and they're wrong. I don't even remember what the video is about, to be honest. Do you all see what is happening here? So for a puer to come out of it, they must move through these phases.

You're hopeless. You get your faith in me. I give you solutions. You reject them. You reject them for a thousand different reasons. They get co-opted by your intellectual structure. You philosophically reject them. You decide that you're going to do a vim and vigor for all of 72 hours,

then you give up due to impatience. or you say this guy doesn't get it. And this is why it is hard. This is why psychotherapy is evolved in the way that it has. Because therapists can't give advice. It's never going to work. I could give you all advice until I'm blue in the face. Whatever advice I give, I can guarantee you that someone will post and say, this doesn't work for this reason.

And then someone, and I'll say, okay, then do this. And they'll say, this doesn't work for this reason. I can't give advice. It doesn't work. What must happen is transference. And this is what gets really weird. I think transference is starting to happen parisocially. So this is where things go completely off the rails.

I'm going to just share what I think is going on. So the first is that there is a collective unconscious, which is Puera-Turnas. I feel it, you feel it, we have some connection. I think the way that transference transforms someone is via some weird collective unconscious kind of fucking thing. I don't know.

Like this is really weird. What is the mechanism of transformation when two human beings connect? So as I make this content on the internet, there are two ways to receive it. Mind hive is right. Right? So, like, I know it sounds crazy.

This is mind hive. Like, it goes on and on and on 12 days, like 100 posts or some shit. Not 100, like maybe 40, 50. We are connected across this weird collective unconscious bridge. And something is going on where if you all want to lose faith in me, that is good. You must lose faith in me. And when you lose faith in me, the only thing I implore you is that you find it in yourself. You look at all of these patterns that we've talked about and you sit with yourself.

You struggle with yourself. It is not about doing anything. It is about looking at the way that your mental construct is, recognizing that you have greatness within you, which needs to be birthed. But grappling with the terrible fear that in order to birth that greatness, you have to risk that it will die 100%. You have to go into battle and kill or be killed. The problem is that y'all are sitting on the sidelines. Y'all are never committing 100%, and so your dream can never become a reality.

And if you are never giving it your 100%, you will continue to live a provisional life. I can get you this far, but I cannot transform you. The advice that I give will not work. It will never work. This is the limit of what I can do. The rest you have to do on your own. And there is no way that I can find some perfect solution that will give you the benefit without the risk. You guys can try to optimize, philosophize, efficiency, whatever the fuck, like whatever the fuck you all want to do.

But until you learn to pay the price, nothing will work. And this is happening within our community. amount of people who have lost faith in me in the last year is astronomical. Astrology video, socioeconomic views, and like, this is the crazy thing. This is not what I said. This is what I said, right? And I'm not blaming that person. This is important to understand.

Like, don't get your ego caught up in this. Because mine isn't. I don't feel bad or good or whatever. I don't feel like I want or lost or whatever. I take this feedback seriously, by the way. like change it, make changes and incorporate it and things like that. I try to adjust my tone, not on this lecture. Subsequent shit that gets uploaded to YouTube, sure.

I'll be more sensitive. So we're like growing here. We're going through these phases of disillusionment with Dr. Kay, which is a good thing. I've tried really hard for y'all to not put me on a pedestal, but I'm getting pulled along with the transfer just like y'all are. And when I say I'm an ordinary person, I really do believe that. I think the only difference, if even there is one, is just where I am on my journey. I've managed my puer in a way that, like, it just shows up sometimes now, but it's not like I don't have my struggles or anything like that.

So this is not something you can do. It is a transformation that must happen on the psychological level. The war that you need to fight is not in action. It is not just do it. it is like when there is an impulse within you to not want to do it, to do it. And you have to be careful because if you amputate off your desires, you're going to end up cynical, which happens a lot too with puyers. They end up with like the cynical view.

Right. So I'm going to just share this. I feel like I could be 100 times more productive if someone else just took over my life, decisions and just ordered me around like a robot. Right? That's what a puer wants. it's the problem of Puera in a nutshell. I just can't get myself to do anything.

Well, like, how do you get yourself to do something? You fight internally. You recognize what these moves are, right? That's totally what you want. No, it isn't. People say that's what I want. I wish people would order me around. When you get order around at your job,

how do you feel about it? Not great. When I order you around, how do you feel about it? Not great. That's the problem. The Puer lives in the paradox of, I want this thing and when I get it, Nehe. Right? So people are talking about executive dysfunction. Someone made a post about ADHD and Puaire. So this is important to understand. Archotype is at the subconscious level. Above that is personality. Above that is thoughts. Genetics and ADHD, they're like kind of above that. Archetype is way more primordial. Right. So if we look at like the layer of who you are, you're an individual, you're part of a family, you're part of a guild, you're whatever. These are at different like levels of zooming in or zooming out of your,

identity. So is there a correlation between ADHD and Puaer-Turnas? Probably, I would say, undoubtedly, my opinion. But they're not like one and the same. They're like different kinds of stuff. Right? If I say like there's a jersey and there's a team, are the two things connected? Yes, but they're not, they're like at different levels of stuff.

Right. And there are other people who are criticizing my archetypal stuff. And fair enough. Like that stuff is fair. I didn't go into the archetype stuff because now I am because now you'll need to understand what this is. So Puerre doesn't cause ADHD. So this is the key thing. So now we're going to open things up for questions.

Okay. But the key thing here is if y'all are at the end of this lecture and you're saying, what do I do? It's the wrong question. The short answer is nothing. And an equally valid answer is everything. To conquer Pouer, to purify Pouer is what I would call it. You must understand things at the psychological level. See that tension, see that struggle, and move against it.

Notice the thousand ways that it moves you towards inaction. It'll find a thousand tricks. And if you meet those, it'll find a thousand more. The beautiful thing is that if you start acting in contrary to it, It will purify on its own. Take the plunge. Things may not be okay, but what choice do you have? The choice you have is to sit around and idle for the rest of your life.

Right? So this is where someone's saying, so do the opposite? No, that won't work either. Nothing you do will work. Because if you say, okay, I'm just supposed to do the opposite, practically that can work. But if you're not careful, people are. will hijack that as well. So it'll, it's so tricky.

It'll select things that where the opposite, this goes back to this thing, you'll remember when I pointed out that they'll do work, but they'll do a work to escape work. That's what's so tricky about it. So you have to struggle internally, fight it on the level of psychology, recognize that you have this voice within you that is trying to come out. And it's, it's scared.

It has this childlike perception of what the world is. So what I would do is take an attitude of let me figure this out. Let me try and really give it my full fourth effort. Because if I run an experiment and I cut it off halfway, I don't actually have any good data. Huge problem with Poirres. They think they have data, but what they have is a series of aborted experiments.

just while we're doing questions. Two other things, guys. First is Dr. Honda is doing a healing from narcissistic parents workshop. So Dr. Honda has been an awesome guest who has dained us with his presence here on the channel, has done a lot of great stuff. specializes in personality disorders, attachment styles, relationships. He's done a couple things with us. We really love it. And sometimes we'll put together workshops for things that our community really cares about. So a lot of people will like ask questions about, you know, if I

have screwed up parents, like, how do I fix that? Right. So we talk about secure attachment and insecure attachment. But if you have like insecure attachment, like how do you fix it? So that's what Dr. Honda is sort of an expert in. I've done an addiction workshop, a trauma work Dr. Thorgerson did a workshop on ADHD and Skills Building, which went awesome. And so here is, we'll just show you all real quick. So he's doing a workshop. So it's 150 bucks per seat. It is a four-hour workshop on July 27th.

So check it out if you all want. We generally speaking, like, I think it's, you know, it's pricey. we understand that. But it's a really great experience. The first workshop we did, I think 98 or 95 to 99% of people said, I'm willing to sign up for the next one. I don't even care what it is. So it's a different kind of experience.

And when you're in a workshop that's taught live with a different, with a human being, like the level of depth that things sink into is different. So when you're just watching YouTube, the attitude is different, right? Because your second screening, you pause it, you walk away, whatever. So if y'all are interested, definitely check it out. Dr. Honda is an expert in this stuff.

The other reason that we do this kind of stuff is because y'all have been asking for content like this, or even workshops or like, how do I do this? Not everything can be turned into a YouTube video, right? So sometimes if it's like gritty and you got to get into it, like a workshop works better. And then he's also just an expert in it, and this is not something that I don't know how to heal from narcissism. parents. He does. Okay. The other thing is that there's a, there's a command in chat called exclamation point voicemail. So we are collecting voicemails. So if you all have voicemails that you want me to respond to, please use the command and submit them. Okay. So we're trying to give you all, like, I don't know if this kind of makes sense, but we're trying to give you all like all the different

slices of stuff. So there's like interview, there's voicemails, there's live stream, part one. live stream part two, there's a workshop. And depending on like what you're, where you are, which we try to give people stuff to kind of meet them where they're at. So for those of y'all that want a more in-depth, you know, actionable kind of experience, that's what the workshop is. Those kinds of things just don't perform well on YouTube. And by the way, I, this is the other thing that a lot of people don't realize. When we put something that doesn't perform well on YouTube, we lose money. So that's why we sort of do

some of this stuff in the way that we do it. The other thing is that if y'all want to work on Puaire, there's a lot of stuff over on the membership side that is like foundational. And unfortunately,

that stuff doesn't do well on YouTube. So like the things where we explain some basic foundational stuff but doesn't have like a, it's not like a targeted problem with a targeted solution. Those foundational, like, how do I understand what my mind is? There's some great lectures on Vassana and Glistah.

When we get chances to, we'll take the ones that we think based on community feedback would perform well in the public space and we'll shift them over. So we've moved a couple of, we've made a couple of membership lectures free on the YouTube channel. Okay? By the way, so this, originally we said, you know, we thought that we would, would do part two over on the membership side. But there was such an interest in it that we did it on the main channel.

So it's like, if there's sufficient interest, we'll, like, do things on the main channel. That's what really, it just depends on the broadness of accessibility. What's the absolute first step? Question one. The absolute first step is watching this video again. Just watch it again. And this is what I mean. So like the reason this lecture is hard, and when I say like this stuff like this is the beginning of the end, for the people who get it, right, we're going to move on to step four, which is you don't need me anymore. Once this transformation happens, you don't need me. That's the point. That's why we showed up. Right. Then I'm going to go on to doing things that I enjoy in life. So the absolute first step is to try to listen to my message, not my words. And for those of you who do,

don't know how to do that, which I imagine is a lot of people, that's exactly the problem, right? So you have to learn how to listen instead of do. Don't do, listen. And if you're not hearing it, that's okay. There's a fundamental quality of listening. And we get so externally oriented, like literally our orientation, the way that we're facing is outside of ourselves, that we forget. how to listen. So if I tell you to do something, you can do it, but then Puhr will hijack you.

It'll hijack you if you're in the doing face. What you need to be doing is looking at Puir. Don't let it hijack you. But don't let it is not something you can do. It is not an action you can take. It is like a direction that you're facing. So what I would literally do is watch this again and listen. And this is what's hard is I have to convey a message at the level that will resonate with the collective unconscious. I'm not talking. There's words up here, but then there's like a message that I'm transmitting via the collective unconscious. And I know that sounds fucking weird. It's happening, though. So that's what you all need to listen for. The other thing that y'all can do, right?

So for those of y'all that are not going to watch it again, you want to fucking answer, here's a fucking answer. Pay attention to the patterns, right? We laid out the patterns of Puaire, because it's not the first step. So I guess the first step is watching. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch yourself.

I've given you the patterns. That's the most I can give you. I can show you the move set. It's kind of like asking, like, okay, now that I know the move set of this character and Street Fighter 6, what's the first button I push? Do you guys see how that's an absurd question?

You don't always want to start with low kick or upper kick or jump kick or whatever. There's no right or wrong answer there. The orientation needs to change. The first step depends on what version of Poirre is active within you. So I suppose then you could say the first step is observation. But that too is like tricky to do. Okay? And by the way, this is also the limit of what I can do.

This is the most that I can do. I'm trying some weird collective unconscious transmission, which, by the way, this one is definitely going to be membership side. So I realize something that there's a connection between beege mantras and archetypes. So this is what gets weird. Why do I feel confident talking about Carl Jung? I'm not a Jungian analyst. But I am, I've studied spirituality for 21 years. and Jung's ideas come from India.

They come from the yogic Vedantik, Vedantik, tantric tradition. And so I'm like 95% sure. There's a tantric mantra kind of thing that will work for Puera-Turnis, that all of the archetypes line up with the beege mantras, and there's some way to combine these two things. So there's some sort of tantric or mantraic practice that will purify the archetype.

what the fuck that is? I don't know, but I'm working on it. And that's something that I don't think belongs on the main channel. Okay? How to recognize when there's a sacrifice to be made and to commit to it. Easy when you don't want to. Right? Like there's always a sacrifice to be made.

So what you need to be pay attention to is not making the sacrifice. This is hard. Making the sacrifice isn't hard. I mean, that's not where the money is. The money is in noticing that you don't want to make the sacrifice. It is about seeing that there's a part of you that has this childlike idea, right? So what is a child? Why is it puer?

Why is it a child? Because I want my birthday cake. I don't want to have to work for it. So you have all of these illusions. And you're asking like, when should I make the sacrifice? The answer is all the time. I don't know. I can't say.

It is not that you make. make when to make a sacrifice, it is that you make a sacrifice. I don't care what it is. That will start to unravel Poirre. Commit to something. Now, people listen to that and they say, what is Dr. Kay saying?

Is he saying, just make a commitment? Then you have not heard my message. You've heard my words. You've not heard my message. Who here understands what my message is? Let's see if chat can help me out because I don't know how else to say this. Right?

So like, so for those of y'all, Yeah, so maybe this. Okay, so do you all see? So I love this. Okay, thank God. Okay. So every answer is right. And if you read chat, none of them will work.

Right? So I feel better now. Because I was thinking maybe this is a deficiency of me that I don't know how to explain this. Right? So if you guys are reading chat, what you'll see is that everyone is like saying all the stuff and they're all right. Commit to the completion of something. Sure. But the whole point is that the Puerre won't let you.

If you could commit to the completion of something, you would commit to the completion of something. Look inside for a solution. Become aware. All that stuff is correct. Right. So y'all are all right. And if someone who did not understand and some of y'all may not, understand. I don't know. If someone who did not understand read the chat, this would be the most

generic self-help advice on the internet. This would be terrible advice. There's no nuance. There's no appreciation for my circumstances. And it is exactly what you have to do. And this is the, okay, this is the thing. Y'all ready? The thing that has to be done is not at the level of words. It is not at the level of actions. It is not at the level of visibility. That is why all of these people are right. And if I look at this with the wrong attitude, if my puer is active, I'm going to look

at this and I'm going to say, this is such a fucking waste of time. I spent here two hours at this lecture for this guy to tell me to just do it and just make a commitment and make any sacrifice, make small, meaningful steps. It's all the right answers. And none of them will work. what needs to be done, and I think y'all get it, the work has to be done at a deeper level, not at the level of action.

It can look like action. And as long as you are oriented towards action, it's sort of not right. Because you need to be oriented towards your resistance towards action and overcoming that action. Okay, so this is also, I love it. Jesuando is saying, this lecture is great, And two sentences later, someone is saying, I don't get it.

Which is correct. That's why this is hard. Because it's not words. It's message. Okay. Is the best option for a puer to notice when his mind leads him to inaction? Okay. We're going to keep, I'm going to fucking hammer this as many times as I need to.

This is great. Y'all tell me, I'm going to read this question again. Is the best option for a puer to notice when his mind is, leads him to inaction. How do we know that this question is coming from Puaire? Beautiful. It's looking for the best. You all see that?

How subtle it is? What's the best? What's the first? Here I am telling you action doesn't work. In the top three questions, everyone has worked, what's the first? What's the best? Where do I get started? Give me action.

Give me action. And that's the fucking Puerre. You guys haven't been listening. I mean, you have it. You've been trying. It's not your fault. my fault are our fault you'll get it what's the for abs not just first step y'all oh this guy was like girl was like they they were thinking and they were asking what's the question i want to ask

they're like one person said what's the first step and another person posted a question in slido what's the absolute first step and everybody was like oh yeah let me upvote that Absolute first step. Where do I get started? Give me the beginning. Just give it to me. There's an absolute first step, right? What's the best option? When do I know what I'm supposed to make a sacrifice? Condit. You all ready? Okay. Hold on. Let me find it. You find it. Let me find it. I started to say it. No. Can't find it. It's conditional. You'll see the conditionality of these questions, that's puer. So if it's conditional, it's puer. Okay? The other thing that we've got to say is like, I'm sitting here and I genuinely, genuinely, genuinely hope that no one feels bad.

I want y'all to understand this. In order for us to move forward, I have to say something. Y'all have to respond, and then I have to respond to your response, and you have to response to my response. This is how we build things. This lecture literally was born out of my reactions to your reactions. This does not work with me. It only works with us. So even the people that I point out, and I cannot stress this enough, the people that I point out that I cast in a negative light are a critical part of the process

of this community's growth. So if you posted something and it's not like y'all are in isolation, right? I pick things that's 368 up votes. That's a lot. And this person isn't wrong in any way. But this is how Puaire works. It wants to know what's the best,

what's the first. And now that I've given you, oh, this is the best option to start. If I tell you this is the best option to start and you do it what happens next. Well, fucking A, if this was supposed to be the best, why hasn't it fixed me in 72 hours? It is baked in.

Do you guys see? It is not at the level of your words. It is not even the level of your personality. It is deeper than that. We are just pointing out words, but I'm telling y'all it is deeper. It is in your bones. In the space around your body,

Puere will exist. It is an energy. It suffuses you. Okay. Is the best option for a Puer to notice when his mind leads him to inaction? It is a option. I'll say it's a good option. Get rid of the word best. Excellent questions, by the way. Do you all kind of get that? Like, without these questions, even though I'm sort of like crapping on the question, I hope I'm, this lecture is strengthened greatly because of these questions. So, and like, and y'all aren't the only one making mistakes, okay? Like, I hope this is clear.

I made a ton of mistakes during this lecture. And like, I'm going to keep screwing up. Yeah, our Poir asked questions. Good. And this is what's beautiful. As we notice they are Poir asked questions, things are changing. Y'all are starting to do pattern recognition, not action, not thought. not calculation.

You are seeing it. You guys see how big this is? You're seeing it. I'm saying, listen. Don't hear my words. Listen to the message. Now there is seeing going on in the community. I can show you, but I can't make you see.

There is a fundamental limitation. We've reached the barrier of how far Dr. Kay can go. Only you can go from beyond here. And if you find out how to move from beyond here, this is the beginning of the death of Healthy Gamer. And let it go. Do you all understand? I love it. One person is like, yep.

And another person is like, bro, I'm lost AF. I know. I'm sorry, friends. Like, I had a choice today. And it was take some of y'all as far as I can go and leave half of y'all behind or take everybody 25% of the way there. And I chose to take half of y'all as far as I can take you. And then you don't, like, that's, like, that's what I chose. I'm not saying it's the right choice.

I plunged. And without some of y'all. Okay. Okay. Should I have backup plans? Yes. So here's the thing. So this is kind of the thing.

It's like sort of the same thing. Like, you should have backup plans. Sure. Why not? I have backup plans all the time. But Puera is not about having backup plans or not having backup plans. In fact, you all remember that thing about the heroic puer who's going to use yogic breathing techniques so that he doesn't have to carry a tent. Y'all remember that example?

So you should do all of the ordinary things. The problem with the Puir is that the backup plan is a necessity for forward action. The problem with the Puir is that the backup plan is that the backup plan is a necessity for forward action. The problem with the Puaire is that the backup plan in the back of your mind, and this is going to be so hard to detect, but fuck, man, if you guys can get this, it's going to be huge. For a Puerre, the backup plan is the primary plan. That is the difference. It is not truly a backup plan.

It's the first plan that you will eventually exercise. It's not really the backup. It is not in case of. it is we're going to do it and that's why you won't move this is it love it you won't move forward until you have your backup plan

that is ready to go and now it's just the time is ticking we're going to go through this play we're going to act out doing this thing until we exercise the backup backup isn't a true backup so I will say you should have a backup plan

but don't delude yourself into thinking that your backup plan is truly a backup. Because it may not be. And what it should be is truly a backup. You should commit 100% and only when every option is exhausted should you pull the string on your parachute. Don't just bail at the first sign. There are times where you have to make changes. Right.

I moved, like I left my faculty position. at HMS was hard for a little while. But like you got to make alterations in life. That's what part of taking the plunge is. Taking the plunge is not just going straight down. It is recognizing that as I move down, I need to move left, I need to move right. Okay.

And I'm sorry, y'all. I'm going to leave half of you all behind. Does the inability to commit to something unable to sacrifice come from the fear that choosing something means not choosing everything else? Choosing something means sacrificing everything else. How is that price worth it? Yes, that is a great characterization.

See, anytime I make a choice in life, I am choosing to give up everything else. And that is precisely the problem. The potential of everything will always outweigh the actuality of one thing, except you can have infinite potential and it's worth nothing. This is the paradox. Okay? And for those of y'all that are being left behind, you're not going to be left behind. forever. This is here for you when you're ready for it. You're just not ready. I'm like serving up

a main course and you're still working on the appetizer. It doesn't make you any less good or bad or whatever. What I would say, if people don't understand this lecture, go over to memberships, watch 10 lectures that Tech Teller suggests, or Ms. Panda suggests, or somebody else suggests. Watch whatever they tell you to watch, then come back. Because we also make a lot of it. We also not have puerres in the audience. Like some of you all may not be puer, so whatever. It's not like a shortcoming on your part if you have no idea what I'm saying. It's just, you're not ready yet, or I just suck too much to be able to communicate it well enough, which I'm happy to admit. Okay, but yeah, you're right. Going back to the original question,

inability to commit is yes, the fundamental problem is that you can't afford to give anything up, so then you never act. Or the only actions that you take are non-committal. So you end up with these like, you know, you're hanging on to your freedom, but you're not actually like building something fully. You're building things, but like only when you can afford to. And then it ends up never as good as what is possible. So you never live up to your full potential. And when Puir constellates in the right way, you start, all of those potentials start becoming realities. And the real tragedy of it is when it starts to constellate, what you realize is like I closed off a bunch of doors.

I chose one thing and I gave everything else up. But what you start to realize, this is the truly crazy thing, is that once you walk through that first door, you find that all the doors are connected on the other side. So you actually get everything. Then you have a full life. So choosing one thing will give you everything. But if you don't, if you get paralyzed by choosing the right thing,

then you'll never get anything. Right. I know it sounds crazy, right? People are saying what, but like, I mean, like, literally I look at my life and I look at the people that I've worked with. And what I tend to find is that like, so we have this saying in medicine. It's well known in psychiatry. There's tons of research to back it up. All boats rise together.

So when the water level goes up and you all know this, there are some people in life who have everything and some people in life who have nothing. How is that possible? It's possible because when your water level rises, that's what Poirre is. It's not I'm doing this and doing this and doing this and doing this. Constellating puer means your whole water level lies and you start doing it all. Do all boats sink together as well? Abs of fucking lute. Absolutely.

When you get cancer, you also go broke. You also lose your job. Your partner also divorces you. You also get depressed. You become suicidal. All that shit happens together. I hate to say it. Happens.

Physical illnesses affect mental illness. Mental illness affects physical illness. Physical illness and mental illness. illness affect your financial security. Physical illness and mental illness and financial security affect your relationships. Yes. I wish it were not true, but it is.

That is depressing. Yes. Don't be resigned because all boats rise together to. So it just means that when it's just rubber banding pendulum. Okay? And it doesn't necessarily happen like that. Sometimes, you know, it doesn't happen like that.

Could you imagine Okay. Okay, I'm going to answer three more questions and then we're going to wrap, okay? Oh man, there's so many good questions, four questions. I'm going to go fast. Could you imagine the puer in your mind as a child and talk to it, understand it? Would that make it easier to change? The answer is, I don't know, maybe. It's not the tools that I use. So this is why we have people like Dr. Honda, right, running his workshop. There's a lot of great stuff that you can do. and just not like, you know, I'm spec to use spear and shield.

Like, I don't know how to use a battle axe. Like, so there's all this like talking to your inner child stuff that people swear by. I don't get it. But if it appeals to you, you should absolutely do it and give it a shot. I'm not saying it doesn't work. It's a great question. It's just, that's just not. So my approach to this is analysis and awareness and that's why I get to my answer.

It's not the answer. It's a answer. And once again, if we look at the paradox of Pua, you're like, which answer is best? It kind of doesn't matter. You just do one or do them all or whatever. Okay? It's not something that I can teach you all how to do because I never talk to my inner child. But it may work great.

I mean, people swear by it. If Puerre feels like the best choice would be making a sacrifice, how do we do it without knowing it's the best choice we can conjure up right now? Is this the right step? Or is it infinite regression living within the Puerre framework? Yes. So there is no best, I mean, there may be a best choice or a right choice. The whole problem with Puera is that you are paralyzed unless you know it's best or right. And since it's hard to ever figure out if things are best or right, I don't know how you measure that.

And oftentimes, even if you logic out a best choice, you'll still be reluctant to it. The problem with Puera is that even a best choice means losing out on something else. It is the avoidance of the cost that is the problem. And if you all paid attention, or not paid, it sounds so condescending. If I was able to explain myself well, which I didn't do a great job of, one of the key points from lecture number one is focus on the costs. Just be willing to pay the cost, and then Puir will fall apart. It is the reluctance to pay a cost that keeps the whole thing going, and then it can regress infinitely. It's the fomo of your other potentials, right?

That is a great way to put it. How can I use meditation to purify my Puera turnus? Great question. So I would say some of the stuff like Glistah, the lectures on Vassana, Glistah, I think one of those is on the main channel, the other ones are on membership side, are excellent. Like there's some foundational building blocks. And then like I said, there's some lecture that I think is maybe in there somewhere about pairing up mantras with archetypes or tantra with archetype. That may, we may have a targeted purification process. But anything that purifies the ego or raises awareness of the Manas, Buda, and Ahamkar will help you with Puir.

Right. So the other thing to keep in mind is I had a big Puer problem. Now arguably, I don't, I don't think I do. And my methodology was not, I didn't even know it existed. I just did a bunch of yoga. And that works. Okay. Does everyone have a puer even normal people?

Absolutely. So the key thing about, I couldn't find this. Okay. Does everyone have a puer? here it is. Just as in one way, it means a renewal of life. Okay, so the great problem with which we are confronted is this general outline by Jung is the double aspect of the child archetype.

Okay? Just as in one way, it means a renewal of life, spontaneity, and a new possibility suddenly appearing within or without and changing the whole life situation in a positive way. So also does the child god have a negative aspect, a destructive one, namely where Jung alludes to the apparitions of the radiant boy and says that this must have to do with a pagan child god who has been condemned to appear only in negative form.

The negative child god leads us into very deep waters. Behind us, it is the infantile shadow which must be sacrificed, that which pulls us backward into being infantile, dependent, lazy, playful, escaping problems and responsibility in life.

On the other hand, if the child appears ahead of us, it means renewal, the possibility of eternal youth, of spontaneity and of new possibilities. The life flow towards the creative future. The great problem is to always make up one's mind in each instance, whether it is an infantile impulse which only pulls us backward or an impulse which seems infantile to one's own consciousness, but which really should be accepted and lived because it leads forward.

The destructive side and the constructive side, the pull backward and pull forward are very closely intertwined. Okay. So I know the reason I didn't include this part is because I know it's kind of confusing. So the text is dense. Okay. So I'm doing, I'm doing my best to translate a Jungian analyst's like 300 page text to make it accessible. Doing so means making certain sacrifices.

So here's the base. So first question was, do all of us have a puer? Absolutely. So all of us have all of the archetypes, right? we each have within us a child that does two things. And the archetype is neither good nor bad. The child pulls us forward through excitement, through possibility. It wants to explore. It wants to create. And the child also pulls us backward because kids are lazy. They don't want to make sacrifices. They want to stay up late. They don't want to go to bed. And so the problem of Puerre is, when should you listen to the

archetype and when should you not? What is the healthy form of the archetype? And there's another passage here that I don't know why I can't find, but there's a passage in here that talks about how if our creative energies are not given expression, they become destructive. So what y'all will notice, if your creative energies, if your dreams are not being turned into a reality, they actually become a, a force that weighs you down. So if my hopes and dreams, I'm not crafting into a reality,

it's kind of like, it's like a toxic substance that unless I transmute it into something good, if I don't harness this radioactive energy, it will destroy me. But it can absolutely be harnessed to great effect. So if I have dreams in life and I'm making something of those dreams, great. But if I'm not making something of those dreams, I would actually be better off if I had no dreams at all. Because dreams mean that either I'm a success or I'm a failure. But if I'm not a success, then I become a failure. Right? Because now I'm a loser. I have all these hopes. I have these aspirations. I have wasted potential. I might as well not have any potential at all. This is the problem of puer. This is why it's so damaging.

Because unless you turn it into something great, it will turn you into something terrible. This is why it's so paradoxical because you've got to take the plunge towards lack of greatness. You must take the plunge towards mundane. You must take the plunge towards shit. And on the other side of that, you will find greatness. But as long as your mind is looking for greatness on the other side of the shit, You will even go 40 years of incredibly hard work escaping from something, looking for something, and never truly living.

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$25,000. Want to get started? Head to carmax.com for details and get pre-qualified today. Want to drive? CarMax. How do some people figure this out without external help? I think most people figure it out without external help. I'm confused.

Why do you keep saying nothing you do will work? What do you mean by that? Great question. So let me try to be clear. Nothing you do will work. Doing only works for problems that can be fixed with action. The problem of Puaire can be fixed with action, but the problem is really internal.

The problem is not action itself. It is getting yourself to act. Do you all understand the difference? One is something that I do with my hands. One is something that I do within myself. So when I do, and here's the problem, if I just act without doing the internal work, it won't work. because the puir will hijack it i'll end up giving up i'll start to philosophize i'll say this shit

it was never going to work anyway i will self-sabotage i will run away if you force yourself to action without conquering the problem of puer it won't work and then we had this passage that we talked about about you know then you amputate this part of yourself and you become really cynical so just doing won't work. What needs to be done is that you need to be okay with doing. That's the work. You must be

okay with doing. You must be okay with doing when you don't feel like it. You must be okay with doing when you don't feel inspired. And you must, most important of all, you must be okay with doing when it means

you will never be able to do the other thing. Because each time you do, you are choosing to not do something else. That's what keeps you stuck. So the doing itself is not the point. It is doing and letting go of doing something else. Does that make sense? For those of y'all that did not understand earlier, does that help? Okay. Good. Okay. Yeah. So someone's saying, I'm going to leave you all with one last thing. Someone saying, is it okay to say, it's okay to fail as long as I try? Okay, I don't know if you guys got this. It's okay to fail as long as I try. Sounds great. Puerre will eat you for dinner. Because what it's going to do, oh, I tried. It's okay to fail. I failed. Okay. Done. Now back to

video games. I gave it my all. I'm finished now. I tried. Do you guys see? This is what the problem is. This is like, nothing you say will work. Nothing. There is no way that you can put it into words. This exists at a level beyond words, underneath words. Like, I can't tell you what to do because nothing will work. Puerre can hijack any answer I give.

And you all can ask me a thousand questions, but I can give you a thousand answers. And the thousand answers won't be the answer. The only thing that you will see is the pattern of the questions and answers. I can't teach that to you. I can show it to you, but you must see it. Be careful. Puere, puer, puer, puer, puer. So we're cooked.

Oh, yeah. Fuck. We're fucked. Back to video games. You guys see it'll twist and it'll turn back to video games, back to video games, back to video games, back to video games. Even your responses to my response aren't going to work. Here's the cool thing. To succeed, you don't need a...

any of it to work. You can do it. You can 100% do it. A thousand percent do it. You can do it. And y'all are, it's happening. The transformation is happening. The pattern recognition is happening. Right? So I can point out the pattern, but now we're seeing it. Now we're seeing it. Now we're seeing it. It's powerful, but so are we. We're more powerful. And it's not your enemy. It just doesn't understand. It has become a destructive force because it cannot be a creative force. So let it be a creative force, it will no longer be a destructive force. Okay? All right. Thank you all very much. Good luck. Thanks for joining us today. We're here to help you understand your mind and live a better life. If you enjoy the conversation, be sure to subscribe. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.