HealthyGamerGG - Working on Everything While Working on Everything While Working on Everything

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Today Dr. K talks about trying to balance everything in life from work to school to eating healthy and what to do about it! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/healthygamergg/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A society has told us you can't not do this. It makes you a bad person. If you don't work on your relationships, like what kind of human being are you? Oh my God, like if you eat processed food, what kind of human being are you? You know, I want to get married at this age. I'm going to have my first kid at this age. I'm going to get a second get at this age. I'm going to make this much money.

I'm going to retire. We have like this timeline, right? And we think that life is a race. Recognize that it's okay if your life is a dumpster fire. It's not actually a dumpster fire, unless it's a dumpster fire. Focus on like two or three things at time. And it's okay to not be perfect. You don't have to be like life is not actually a race.

You don't have to be ahead of the pack. I don't even know where the pack is. So one of the challenges in life is that you're working your job while working on your mental health, while working on your relationships, while working on physical health, while working on your family, while working on your sleep habits, while working on self-care, while working on exercise, while working on personal goals while working. Right? So, like, I think one of the things that's happened is we've started to realize that a lot of this stuff is work that you need to spend some time on, right? Like, you have to devote time to it. So I get the sense that in my parents' generation, you know, no fault of theirs, but people weren't quite as cognizant, like, about mental health and the fact that mental health needs to be, like, taken care of, right? So, you know, the concept of seeing a therapist when my dad was my age was, like, pretty foreign.

especially in India or even like 20 years when he was like 20 years old it was like completely foreign like they didn't exist in India or very few of them that and then the other thing is like when it comes to family and relationships and stuff that too was sort of like they just kind of worked themselves out right so like when in 20 years ago 50 years ago 60 years ago just to like share a story with y'all so when I talk to my grandmother now about like relationships relationship stuff, she like shushes me. So she'll be like, oh, like, you know, like there are problems in every marriage, there are problems, you know, these things happen, like don't dwell on them, just, you know, everything will be fine. And there's kind of like this sweep it under the rug mentality. And I realize

that like a lot of that sweep it under the rug mentality comes from a social situation in which change is not viable. So like talking about it or complaining about it or things like that were not really useful interventions. So my grandmother grew up in a time where divorce was like unheard of. And economic options were very few and far between, right? So you like get married. You have a joint family unit. The joint family unit, which means that you live with your parents and potentially like

siblings or in-laws or whatever. And so you'll have like 10, 12, 14 people living in a single household. And the reason for that is because people were like farmers. and you, like, needed to have shared labor and shared resources and stuff like that. You had your own internal small economy. She grew up in a village that had, like, 150 people. And, you know, going to the next village over, which was like a three or four hour walk, was, like, a big deal.

So it was like an event, right? It's kind of like, for us flying internationally. People would, like, go, you know, once in the first 20 years of their life. They're like, oh, yeah, I went to, like, that other village. And then oftentimes it'll be for some kind of occasion, like, you know, getting married or something like that. So there just wasn't a whole lot of like viability for changes, divorce, economic freedom, independence. So like talking about family stuff wasn't a thing. Like there was no point in talking about it because you're dealt the hand that you're dealt.

The power dynamics are also very, very like are strong, right? So like they're hierarchical. So like if the head of the household doesn't like what you're doing, you don't have any kind of requal. course. There's no option B. You're going to have to live there and they don't have to listen to you. So that's sort of like, I think what's happened is that attitude, which may have been quite severe in India, like back in like 1930, 1940 places like that. I don't know exactly what things were like in the U.S. and not everyone in India lived in that sort of situation. Right. So there's heterogeneity there for sure. But I think the big thing is that there wasn't a

cognizance that this kind of stuff you work on. Like physical health, maybe. people were aware of. You got to kind of take care of your physical health, don't eat a bunch of sweets, you know, like exercise here and there. And then work too was something that was sort of like handed to you back in the day. And now I think what's happening is we're gaining an awareness as our society changes as we have upward mobility, as we have lateral mobility, as we have the options to choose our relationships, to a certain degree choose your work. And also as the stresses of this current society bear down on us, things like sleep and family and mental health are like more under attack. Right. So when I was like a farmer 100 years ago, like I wake up when it's

time to wake up and I go to bed when it's time to wake up. There's nothing to do. There's like literally like there's no electricity. So like once the sun goes down, like unless other people are willing to socialize, there's like nothing to do. I can't stay up till 4 a.m. doing nothing. There's like literally nothing to do. And so now what we have is we have like entertainment in our fingertips, right? You can stay up all night long if you want to. Like there's plenty to do. You can text people.

You can browse Reddit. You can troll people on Twitter. Like trolling people on Twitter is a 24-7 kind of activity. And so like now we realize like, oh crap, this stuff needs work. But when do you have time to do it? Right? Because work needs work too. And work is no longer like show up at nine.

leave at five, like clock in and clock out, right? Everyone wants you to distinguish yourself. You got to be a leader. You got to get promoted. You got to get a raise. You can't be content at work. You got to hustle. Right? You got to have your hustle at work. You got to have your side hustle. There's hustle and side hustle, right? And so we've got to have hustle. Got to have side hustle. Got to make your boss happy. Boss now has to make you happy, which we'll see. Right? It's just so much stuff to do. Like, when are you supposed to have time to do this? Like, by the way, there's no entertainment here. You got to work on your relationships. Got to work on your family. Set boundaries with them, talk to them, manage their emotions. It's a pandemic. Got to move in with

them. Your sibling is like, doesn't respect your boundaries. They're expecting free child care from you because they decided to have children when you have decided not to have children because you're still focused on your career. But they got pregnant and they're six years younger than you are. And now they're losing their weekends. And they're like, I don't understand. Like, I need a break. And it's like, you should have thought about that before you have kids.

And then what they do is they start messaging your parents. And then your parents start messaging you. And then like, right? So now you got to work on that. And your sleep is screwed up. And you're drinking too much coffee. And mom is a Q&ON. Sure.

Right? So, oh my God. Like, don't get me started on. man, I have seen Vax and anti-Vax philosophies, like tear apart families during the pandemic. It's wild. Like, you need to get vaccinated because grandpa's got heart failure and is on oxygen already and can't afford to get sick because he's on prednisone. And it's like, I'm not going to get vaccinated because I'm not a sheeple. And then, like, tears families apart.

Right? And then, like, people say, oh, yeah, I'm vaccinated. And they show up at Christmas. They're not vaccinated. They're asymptomatic carriers of COVID. Grandpa gets sick of COVID dies. And then, oh, it's bad. Right.

I mean, it's just, so much to handle right now. And, like, I don't know how people are supposed to get a break. Like, I don't know. It's just overwhelming. There's just so much stuff you need to do. I mean, I think that this is where, like, I don't have wild wisdom that is going to make this easy. I think this is the society that we live in where we're, you know, we're being assaulted on several different sides. Like, we're managing so many things.

I think part of the upside, though, to this, that's kind of weird is that we're at least aware that these are things that you can work on. Right. So, like, people have resources at their disposal for, like, the first time in human history about how to deal with a parent who has borderline personality disorder, how to deal with a child who's narcissistic, how to support a child who has an addiction. like all of these kinds of things we have resources for. We have tools for sleep habits, right? We've got melatonin, which you can get over the counter, and we've got, you know, apps that you can download that will help you train your sleep schedule.

And we also have things like sleep studies and therapists and CBT for insomnia and all this kind of stuff. We also have all these people who will, you know, tell you how to be successful at your work on YouTube. Right? And it's great. Because we have all these resources. And so surely what that means is everyone is getting promoted, right?

Because I watch these five videos about how to get promoted, how to make a million dollars, how I made my first million in two years. And so everyone's walking around with a million bucks because look at all these people out there telling us how to do it. And it's so easy. And so sometimes what happens is we're kind of like we do this sort of stuff. And then we're kind of confused when like, I'm watching all these YouTube videos and it's not working. Right? And then we wind up like this. Because the subtle thing here is that these are all things that I need to work on.

Because I have to work on your job and I have to work on my mental and I have to work on my physical. I have to work on my relations. I have to do my family. I have to do this. I have to self-care, exercise, sleep habits, hustle, side hustle, try hustle. Right? Because that's what successful people do. If you want to have a successful marriage, you've got to work at it, man.

If you want to have a successful career, you've got to work at it, man. to work at it, man. If you want to exercise properly, you got to work at it, girl. Right? Because we've got to do all this stuff. Because here's this person on Instagram telling us how we should exercise. And here's this, you know, doctor on Twitch or neuroscientist who has a podcast who's going to talk about sleep and meditation.

And now I got to meditate. We didn't even, she didn't even include this. Meditation is a big one. I got to learn how to meditate. right? So what do you do about this stuff? The first thing is take a step back, take a big, deep breath, and figure out that or understand a couple of things. You can't work on everything at the same time. It's just impossible. You just really can't. The other thing to understand is that if you work at something, it doesn't take work forever. So generally speaking, the establishment

of a habit is the hard part. And once the habit sets in, or once the habit sets in, or once you you make some kind of progress, once you learn how to communicate better in a relationship, that carries with you. So everyone wants to do everything by a certain time. And so I'd say let go of that. You know, I want to get married at this age. I'm going to have my first kid at this age. I'm going to get a second get at this age. I've made this much money. I'm going to retire. We have like this timeline, right? And we think that life is a race. So like somewhere along the way, we got the idea that life is a race. I'm behind. Oh my God, that person is crushing it. they made their first million by 30.

This person made their first million by 22, right? Because we have that now with e-sports and streaming and YouTubers and all this kind of stuff. I remember being at the Twitch Awards. Sorry, not Twitch Awards, the streamer awards. And meeting other streamers. Because you meet people and then you make small talk. And I was like, you know, hi, my name is Aalook. It's nice to meet.

And there's like another streamer there. And they're like, oh, my God, I'm such a huge fan. I'm a sophomore in college and I'm studying psychology. And it's like we're peers, right? It's wild. I think it's great that they're studying psychology. I think it's great that they're a very successful streamer. But somewhere along the way, we start making comparisons and we think that we got to go fast.

And if you look at that tweet, what happens is like we're trying to do it all at once. Because society has told us you can't not do this. It makes you a bad person. If you don't work on your relationships, like what kind of human beings? are you? Oh my God. Like if you eat processed food, what kind of human being are you? Right? Like, if you don't hustle and side hustle and try hustle and quad hustle, right? Like, what kind of human being are you? Like, you're not going to be one of the successful humans. There's like the successful humans over here who are crushing it and rocking it and posting stuff on Instagram and like doing all this stuff. Penta

hustle. Like, I'm going to develop, you know, if we ever decide to do something besides healthy gamer, I'm going to develop the Penta Hustle machine that both allows you to eat, exercise, meditate, work, and no fap all at the same time. It's going to be this device that you plug yourself into, and it's going to do everything for you all at once. There's going to be a chastity belt. There's going to be a meal tray. We're going to stick in a gastric tube so that you can get ideal nutrition. You don't have to waste time cooking or eating. Because you know what the worst ROI is? Consuming food. And then we're going to do this thing where we have a constant, we're going to have two IVs running, one with ketamine and one with caffeine.

That way we can like reduce our sleep to highly efficient three hours a day with biofeedback. And then I'm going to take this device and I'm going to stick it into a sensory deprivation chamber. so I can get utter relaxation with VR goggles so I can interact with people in the world. Right? Because this is what's happening. Now we have this like tech hustle culture too. We're saying, oh, by the way, the solution, I don't know if you guys know, did you guys know this? The solution to this problem is a sensory deprivation infrared sauna.

You guys didn't realize that, right? Like we're going to, by the way, download our app. It'll help too. It uses science and look at our board. We have a scientist on there. Because we got to do everything all at once. So here's what's happening, right? We have to do everything all at once.

And then society's there. You could talk about capitalism if you want to. But if you're looking to buy something that doesn't exist, someone will make it for you. They're like, oh, you're trying to do everything all at once. Didn't you know that there's this device that improves your meditative efficiency by 88%? Absolutely. We have a scientist on our board. And didn't you know that you would sleep better if you ate organic?

Purchase this thing and it will improve your life. Having difficulty with your relationships? Here, let us sell you. I literally, I kid you not. I once talked to someone who was having trouble communicating with their child and they purchased a set of musical tapes that will make their child more emotionally aware and better able to communicate. and they were just, they made their kid listen to the tapes.

Like, and they were like, I'm confused, like, he's not talking to me. And I make him listen to the tapes. And after he's done listening to the tapes, he still doesn't talk to me. Right? So, like, take a step back. Focus on one thing at a time. Recognize that it's okay if your life is a dumpster fire. It's not actually.

actually a dumpster fire, unless it's a dumpster fire. You may feel like it's a dumpster fire, but when you try to do everything all at once, it feels overwhelming. So take a step back, focus on one damn thing at a time. If you get bored of one thing, focus on two. You get bored of two, focus on three. Don't go past three. Right? So, okay, like this week, I'm going to try to get my job in order. I'm going to try to clean my house, and I'm going to pay my bills. Don't worry about exercise and sleep. Like if you need to eat fast food or frozen pizza, eat fast food. food and frozen pizza, don't worry about it. Your heart will be okay for like a week. And then like do them one at a time and put your mind to it, right? Like really focus on one thing.

If you want to focus on relationships, then focus on relationships. That's a good one because if you learn communication skills, it'll help you at your job, right? Cut yourself a break. Focus on like two or three things at a time. And it's okay to not be perfect. You don't have to be like life is not actually a race. You don't have to be ahead of the pack. I don't even know where the pack is. Like, you know, I don't know. Like people, you know, half the world is like, not half, but like a third of the world is like literally below the UN poverty line, right? So like, you're okay. And if you're below, if you're in that bottom third, then like that's going to take some time to fix. So cut yourself a break is the most important thing. Focus on like a couple

things at a time. And recognize this is like if they have one bit of wisdom that maybe people haven't heard before, recognize that the way that you feel this way is because society is making you feel this way. That doesn't necessarily mean it's true, right? Because we live in a culture where we're bombarded by like people working on these things constantly. So I see this a lot with people who are like spiritually hungry where they're like going to this retreat and going to that retreat and going to like, I need to be like more in touch with myself. Like, I need to understand myself better. Like, I need to learn how to forgive.

Like, I'm, like, I really need to learn how to forgive. Like, I've been struggling to learn forgiveness for so long. And then I realized, like, I can't forgive others unless I forgive myself because I read this book that talks about how forgiving others starts of forgiving yourself. And it's like, bro, if you're beating yourself up for not learning how to forgive, you're like defeating the point. Like, you guys get that? It's like, oh my God, I can't.

forgive. Like, forgive yourself for that. Why don't you say it's okay not to forgive? And then, like, mind blown, right? It's okay to not forgive. That's forgiveness. So, like, we get into this, like, cycle without even realizing it, right? It's like in this, like, wellness cycle where it's like, oh, I got to work on this, I got to work on this, I got to work. No, you don't. You don't actually have to work on it, right? You're allowed to be not a perfect child to your parents. You're allowed to tell your parents, you know what, I just don't have the bandwidth for your BS right now. I love you guys. I just need to take a step back. You're allowed to dodge phone calls. You're allowed to do that. Even that, what I just said requires a certain amount of like self-understanding and being able to communicate.

You're allowed to not answer the phone if someone that is stressing you out doesn't, you know, you don't have to answer it right now. Now, if you have some kind of relationship at some point, you don't want to like ghost them, right? You don't want to disappear off the face of the earth like, them a text message, let them know you're doing okay, but like you don't have to answer. I just don't have the bandwidth for this right now. So here's the concrete piece of advice. I just don't have the bandwidth for this right now. Right? So like, that's something you need to learn to tell other people and learn to tell yourself.

It's okay. Just don't have the bandwidth for it right now. That's fine. Right? Questions. That's my wisdom. It's like be aware of what society is doing to you and don't fall for it. Yeah, there we're we.

go. So I'll be fair saying then I should have more bandwidth. Exactly. Right. So I bet you if someone came up with a product that they claimed turned 24 hours of a day into 26 hours of a day, someone would buy it. Someone was like, we've discovered this supplement that alters the perception of time and speeds up your neurons by 18 percent and allows you to get 26 hours out of a day instead of 24. Someone would buy that. It's called 420. I like that.

So a big brain plays is saying limitless. That's the brand. Hey, how y'all doing today? My name is Dr. Konoja. I'm here from Limitless. We've discovered how to warp the perception of time in our brains.

And we're allowed to, we've broken the time barrier. And we are now limitless. TM trademark. dot limitless. alive because we couldn't buy the dot com because it's used by another motivational speaker.