Heavyweight - 2025 Update: Buzz

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

This week, we catch up with Jonathan's dad about the years since his appearance in our first ever episode — #1 Buzz. Buzz and Sheldon are brothers in their eighties who’ve been estranged for decades. Buzz visits Sheldon to see if there’s still a relationship left to salvage. CreditsThis episode was produced by Jonathan Goldstein, Wendy Dorr, Chris Neary, and Kalila Holt, with editing by Alex Blumberg and Peter Clowney. Special thanks to Caitlin Kenney, Starlee Kine, and Rachel Ward. The episode was mixed by Haley Shaw. Music by Christine Fellows and Haley Shaw. Our theme music is by The Weakerthans courtesy of Epitaph Records.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pushkin. Hello. Kalila Holt. Don't scare me like that. I'm sorry. My God. Welcome to the studio. Thank you.

So now that we find ourselves at our new home at Pushkin Industries. Like you're reading it for the first time. We're celebrating some of our past accomplishments in the form of Encore Presentations. Encore! Ravissimo! Today, we're going to be listening to the very first Heavyweight. An episode called Buzz. And it's an episode that's personal to you.

Spoiler alert! Sorry. Yes, it is. It is. Buzz is my father. I really enjoy your dad. Whenever I get to hear from him, it warms my heart. Oh, that's so nice.

Yeah. My father has, well, I'm not going to say that my wife married me because of my father, but I'm sure it didn't hurt because she's a very big Columbo fan, Peter Falk. And my father sounds a lot like he's of that generation. In fact, he would have grown up in Brooklyn around the same time as Peter Falk. But anyway, yeah, this was the blueprint for Heavyweight. And it was out of this episode that I thought maybe I could use my powers of interlocution to help others as I was helping

my family. Why not spread the wealth? Yeah, you thought I'm so good at this that I gotta do more. When you have mammoth gifts like this, I mean, you have a responsibility to share it. So well, without further ado, let's listen to the episode and stick around after for an update from your dad. But first, oh but first, a word from our sponsors. Thank you sponsors.

Miss Holt, before you go, if I could just ask you one more thing. That's a very interesting t-shirt that you're wearing there. This is an iHeart Podcast. The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Recipients have done the improbable, the unexpected, showing immense bravery and sacrifice in the name of something much bigger than themselves. This medal is for the men who went down that day. On Medal of Honor, Stories of Courage, you'll hear about these heroes and what their stories tell us about the nature of bravery.

Listen to Medal of Honor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, China's economic rise has been symbolized by the unstoppable force of low-cost manufacturing. But today, a new and far more disruptive wave of competition is unfolding. One that threatens not just Western manufacturing, but also the West's geopolitical dominance. I'm journalist James King, and in my new audiobook, Global Tech Wars, from Pushkin Industries and the Financial Times, I'm unpacking what China's rapid technological ascent across

cutting-edge industries like artificial intelligence, electric vehicles, and surveillance technology means for the future. Find Global Tech Wars at pushkin.fm slash audiobooks, Audible, Spotify and wherever audiobooks are sold. Phone ringing Hello. Hello? From Gimlet Media, this is Jonathan Goldstein, your old pal. Is that what it's called? Gimlet? Gimlet Media? That's correct.

It sounds like giblets. The inside of a chicken, like all the innards. Well, everybody loves giblets. Ew. Oh shit, there are my kids. Hey guys, I'm up here. Do you know what my new podcast is about? I know I don't know anything about it. Each week I travel into people's pasts to help them repair something that's been troubling them.

Mm-hmm. I'm sort of like a therapist. Like a therapist. So- Yeah. Do you find that funny? I just think supportive. That's the laughter of support?

I think it's great. I think it's great. Do you have that funny? I just think supportive. That's the laughter of support? I think it's great. I think it's great. Do you have any questions for me about what my show is and what it's going to be like?

What's the name of your show? What's the name of your show? Yes, we're going to go now, but Jonathan's just about to tell me the name of his new show. As soon as he tells me, I'm gonna bang down on him in five, four, three, two, one. Do you remember when we used to do that? Yes, hang up the phone on each other.

Okay, ready? Yes, yes. The name of the show is Heavyweight. Heavyweight. You get it? Two, one. No, it's- Time to take your place.

Hello? Hello? From Gimlet Media, I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this is Heavyweight. Today's episode, Buzz. Hello? Hey, Dad? Hi, Johnny. Hey, how you doing?

Good, you? Good, good. Good yumtiff. Shana Tova. Aksameyek. Aksameyek. What's that mean? I'm not sure. Good, good. Good yom tov. Shana Tova. Aksameach. Aksameach.

What's that mean? I'm not sure. Oh, oh. This is my father, Buzz. I'm calling him at his home in Montreal, and the reason we're talking crazy talk is because it's Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, which seems as good a day as any to talk with him about forgiveness. So I wanted to ask you something and I just wanted to gauge your interest. How would you feel about paying your brother Sheldon a visit?

I have no feelings, but I'm not really interested. You're not? No. My father Buzz is 80 and his brother Sheldon, his only sibling, is 85. And for the past 40 years, they've pretty much been on the outs. My father lives in Montreal and Sheldon lives in Florida. And the last time they saw each other, over 20 years ago, was at their mother's funeral when they had a fight over the details of the arrangements. Since then, they've hardly spoken.

It worries me because there's not a lot of time left, and I don't want my father to have regrets. When the subject of his brother comes up, as it often has over the years, my father feels competing things. He grows angry or defensive, but other times he'll become sad and remorseful. And it's the sorrow and the remorse that I like best, because it's these feelings that I believe speak to his better self, the self I want to encourage. I'm not surprised that you're not jumping at the idea, but I'm a little surprised that you're as against the idea but I'm a little surprised that you're as against the idea. Yeah, time's passed. He hasn't shown much interest so I'm respecting that and I

leave him alone. What he did do was he called you on your 80th birthday not so long ago and you felt good about that. Yeah, of course I called him on his 80th birthday. This kind of tit-for-tat accounting is what always gets in the way. There's been a competition between the brothers since I was a kid. I remember how in my grandmother's small New York kitchen, Sheldon and Buzz got into an argument about who could do the most push-ups, and the next thing I knew, my father was pulling off his shirt and dropping to the kitchen floor in his undershirt. My mother, not used to seeing the sight of him, stood over my father, flapping a dish

towel hysterically while begging him, to the point of tears, to please stop. Now you go, my father said, rising from the floor when he was done. But Sheldon shook his head with a smile. It was like he didn't even think my father was worth the effort. You know what it is at this point with him? I'll tell you what it is. I don't think it's even anger. He's past anger and he's past any feelings of animosity. He's past that. He just doesn't care. Yeah.

You know, that's apathy. I mean, sometimes at least hate or love, they're emotions. Apathy is nothing. Yeah. You know what, Johnny, as a child, even when I was 10, when I was nine and eight, I was crazy about him. We had a great, you know, I loved him. He was the older brother.

He was, hello? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listening. You know, I just looked up to him and he had all the friends. Sometimes he'd take me along with him and he was good. Somebody tried to call here, binging me here. Don't you see, Buzz? It's Father Time who is binging you here. And Buzz loses track of time.

Air conditioners remain boxed all through July. And expired coupons from the mid-90s make plump his wallet. So I worry he'll put off reaching out to Sheldon until it's too late. The most complicated question, the one I keep coming back to, is how did the bad blood begin? And there are many versions.

An ill-fated trip to Montreal where Sheldon felt slighted about having to stay in my father's basement. An ill-fated trip to New York where my father felt slighted about having to stay in Sheldon's attic. Rude words spoken to each other's wives. In one version of the story, Sheldon's refusal to bring a table to my bris almost resulted in my being circumcised on an ironing board.

But in the version being told today, my father was asked by Sheldon to pay more than his fair share for their mother's funeral. And I said, you always working some kind of an angle. So that he got furious. He got furious. He started screaming into the phone, go to hell, drop dead, bye bye bye. He was that. That was how that ended. But I feel he's the kind of guy that he has angles like that, you know. He has angles. I always felt that was on the up and up with him and he wasn't with me.

If you got a stronger sense that he was interested in seeing you, then would you? Yes, yes. You would be more inclined to see him. I wouldn't stay at his house though, that's out of the question. Okay, quick sidebar. Anytime I've ever raised the prospect of visiting Sheldon, no matter how hypothetical the scenario, my father always makes a point of insisting how no matter what, he would not stay in Sheldon's house, even if he was invited to, which I should point out, he never is. I wouldn't stay at his house.

How come you? I wouldn't stay there. I mean, it's not my thing to. How come you always bring that up? I mean, normally when someone goes to visit someone that they haven't seen in decades, they'll stay at a hotel, you know? I would stay at a motel or somewhere near his place.

A motel. Yeah, no, we get a place, you know, with an ice machine and, you know? I would say the motel or somewhere near his place. A motel. Yeah, no, we get a place, you know, with an ice machine and, you know. Why, you want to, you're interested in making a trip? I mean, I'm interested. Do you think that there's anything to be gained in seeing him? Hmm.

I guess there's something, you know, you share your common experience and talk about the old days and there are things that only he and I can remember, you know? Yeah. You know, what you could do is, you could call him and see what his attitude is.

It depends on how you feel, what kind of reception you get. Yeah, I mean, I would be happy to do that. My concern is that- I like your initial suggestion that you call him, feel him out, and see what he's like. Okay, I didn't suggest that, but you suggested that. Yeah, I like that. You'll give me an honest reaction.

I'm happy to do it, but what are you looking for? What do you want to hear from him? I miss my brother. I would like to see him. Okay. That's all. Okay. You understand? And you come back on me with an honest evaluation. speaking. Hi. I was quite a shock getting your phone call. You said John, my hearing

is not that great. Okay. And when I heard the first message, I'm saying, who the heck is that? I don't know anybody by that name. Sheldon now lives outside of Fort Lauderdale, but my few memories of him are from when he lived in upstate New York. I remember he lived in a trailer. I remember that he worked at a local prison, that he smoked cigars, that he looked a little like my father but was hunched, like the world was weighing down on him. And he always wore this expression on his face that seemed to say, you gotta be kidding me. You're keeping okay? You're keeping occupied? Yeah, I read a lot.

I go to the gym. I go shopping. You know, here and there, little things here and there. And so you still go, how often do you go to the gym? Three times a week. Wow, and what kind of stuff do you do there? Well, I do about 20 minutes of aerobics. And then I do a little weight training. I try to flirt a little with the women there.

Oh yeah. My father also goes to the gym. That's a part of his routine also. He was happy to hear from you on his 80th birthday. Yeah, well, he didn't call me on my 85th though. Tit, meet tat. Yeah, like, so, you know, maybe we could go out for dinner, I don't know, that kind of thing. Uh-huh. Well, what kind of a time frame are we talking about here? I don't know.

Our lives have been much different. I don't know how much we have to have in common anymore. Yeah. We don't have much in common anymore, except the fact that we're elderly and retired. Other than that, I don't know what we have in common. You have your past in common. Yes. I'll tell you honestly, I'm not a very sentimental person. And I, being a pragmatist, I take things the way they are.

I try not to dwell upon the past, and I try not to take people the way I remember them, but as they are. Do you think that makes things easier? Makes things easier for me. Yeah. Do other people around you sometimes, does it make it harder for other people around you, ever?

To be honest with you, in the last few years I've been, in the last few years, I've been a loner. You would basically almost call me a recluse. I don't socialize with many people and I really don't give a damn what anybody thinks. Yeah. And contrary to popular belief, I like being alone by myself. I get along with myself very well. Yeah. Look, I don't want to be rude or anything, but I want to go have my lunch. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's fine. It's fine. Sheldon, I wanna go have my lunch. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. It's fine. Sheldon, I appreciate your talking to me. And you would be amenable to spending some time? Why not? We are brothers. I mean, we're not close or anything, but we're not gonna have a chance

to see each other much in the future. Yeah. Is that anything that you think about? Not much, no. And so I call my father back and let him know that Sheldon is amenable. And because I know that for my father, the days tend to pile up like unboxed air conditioners, I have my mother get on the phone to help nail down a firm travel date. And daddy wants to go?

If dad wants to go, if he wants to go. Does he want to go? Next weekend. We don't have to go on the week and we can go during the week? Yeah. It comes as a, you know, you caught me off guard. How about I call you Wednesday or Thursday? How's that?

Today's Monday, or yeah, or even if you feel like calling tomorrow you can call me. Yeah. Okay I'll probably call you at the latest Thursday. Did you get the Thursday? At the latest. That's three days from today. Yeah. Okay. I have to think. Alright you do what you want to do. You call me but... I'll call you Thursday. Coming up after'll call you Thursday. Coming up after the break, Thursday. The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Recipients have done the improbable, showing immense bravery and sacrifice in the name of something much bigger than themselves.

This medal is for the men who went down that day. It's for the families of those who didn't make it. I'm JR Martinez. I'm a U.S. Army veteran myself, and I'm honored to tell you the stories of these heroes on the new season of Medal of Honor, Stories of Courage from Pushkin Industries and I Heart Podcast. From Robert Blake, the first black sailor

to be awarded the medal, to Daniel Daly, one of only 19 people to have received the Medal of Honor twice. These are stories about people who have distinguished themselves by acts of valor, going above and beyond the call of duty. You'll hear about what they did, what it meant, and what their stories tell us about the nature of courage and sacrifice. Listen to Medal of Honor on the I Heart Radio

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, China's economic rise has been symbolized by the unstoppable force of low-cost manufacturing. But today, a new and far more disruptive wave of competition is unfolding. One that threatens not just Western manufacturing, but also the West's geopolitical dominance. I'm journalist James King, and in my new audiobook Global Tech Wars from Pushkin Industries and the Financial Times I'm unpacking what China's rapid technological ascent across cutting-edge industries like artificial intelligence, electric vehicles and surveillance technology means for the future. Find Global Tech Wars at pushkin.fm slash audiobooks,

Audible, Spotify, and wherever audiobooks are sold. And so on Thursday, possibly with a little nudging from my mother, Buzz agrees. And then my father and I are off to Florida to visit my uncle Sheldon. Press where to and then type, do you have an address? Yeah, I do. Okay.

My dad and I meet up at the Fort Lauderdale Airport. I flew from New York and my dad from Montreal. My father's all dressed up, wearing a faux suede sports jacket that I've never seen him in. We grab our airport rental and prepare for the two-hour drive to Sheldon. In the 90-degree heat, it's immediately made clear that faux suede might not have been the best fashion choice.

It's like we're on a safari. On the road to Sheldon's, my father will experience a spectrum of feelings. As we first set out, there's excitement. You know, my brother was funny in a lot of ways. I could laugh. We're going to have laughs with him. You know what I mean? He's a very funny man.

A half an hour in, and there's bitterness. We invited him to your bar mitzvah, and he returned a very cold card, sorry, we will not be attending. He was, you know, so mean. You know, so mean. You know what I mean? Even the writing. An hour in, and how is Buzz feeling? I'm relaxed.

Kind of old to get anxious, you know what I mean? A half an hour to Sheldon's. Little bit apprehensive, no? 10 minutes to Sheldon's and Buzz is feeling... Alright. Yeah. Yeah. He's feeling a little...

It's going to be strange. Yeah. It's going to be very strange. I mean, the man is a stranger to me now, and yet he's my brother. You understand? It's a very strange feeling. Yeah. I wonder if he's getting nervous.

Maybe. Because he's waiting for us, right? Yeah. You all set? Yeah. Uh, woo, it's hot. It's really hot, yeah. Sheldon lives in the corner house

on a quiet suburban street. Ring the bell. I guess. Is this his door? I'll double check. Maybe it is. Oh, here he is. Ah, hello. Hey. Hi. Hi.

And this is Jonathan. Nice to meet you. Nice to see you. Yeah. Come in. Come in. Thank you. I smell a good smell of cigar. Yeah.

Lately I've become a monk, me and my pussycat. Oh, you got a cat. After all the years and the worry and the dread, things seem to be going swimmingly. We sit down at Sheldon's kitchen table, and my father gets right into it. Now there's things I want to know. You said that Rene died. Yeah, she did die.

The dead are a good place to begin. As a subject, they're easily agreed upon and not likely to spark a fight. The uncle died. The uncle died? He was the youngest brother. Oh, he died long ago. He died, eh? Oh, you know who died? Who, uncle died. He was the youngest brother. Oh, he died long ago. He died, eh? Oh, you know who died?

Who? Hoffman. Hoffman? A real prick. Yeah, I didn't know him that well. A real prick. Yeah, yeah. Knish.

Oh, that's shocking. Yeah, he was fat. He was fat. Redhead. Redhead, right. Yeah. Knish. Yeah.

Remember Johnny? Johnny was a sex maniac. Johnny, oh, he would fuck a dog. He would fuck a. Yeah. Knish. Yeah. Remember Johnny? Johnny was a sex maniac. Johnny, yo, he would fuck a dog on the street if he saw the dog. He'd try to fuck the dog. Wow.

Wow. Can I get you guys a cold beer? I'd like a beer. Yeah, sure. I'll have a beer. Thank you. Even though they're in their 80s, Sheldon and Buzz still possess voices and temperaments

suited to shouting out Brooklyn tenement windows, while my voice... Yeah, sure. I'll have a beer. ...is best suited to asking a waitress if there will be a sharing charge. And the fire... Forgot about that, sorry.

Case in point, this is Sheldon accidentally swiping a portable microphone receiver off the kitchen table and me trying to smooth things over. Take this off, will you? It's annoying. No, here, just put it in your pocket there. Just take it off, will you please? Thank you, thank you.

Over the next couple of days, my testes will flee like frightened cockroaches upward, ascending to heights not seen since the bar mitzvah that sheldon was not attending and while we're on the subject of testes here's sheldon reminiscing about the time he was examined for a rupture by their family doctor. Me and wally rosen were joining the weightlifting club see how to be tested for a rupture. I remember he put his hand under my balls.

I started laughing so hard, I pissed right in his hand. Ha ha ha! Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Over the years, I've seen my father in the role of husband, uncle, and grandfather. But I've never really seen him in the role of younger brother. How odd to see it now at 80. He sits beside Sheldon with this expression I've never seen on his face.

It's wide-eyed, sweet, and deferential. But as the day wears on, Sheldon and Buzz begin to squabble over their memories, fighting over every little detail. Remember the halibulu we had with the hair dryer? That heavy set girl? She was a manicurist. She was a hair dryer. Manicurist.

No, she was a hair dryer. Here's what happened. She went over to Irving. They even argue over the death of their grandmother. I found her body. I did. No, no. My mother was across the street at Greenberg. I remember walking in.

I looked in on her. And I knew she was dead. I never saw her dead body in my life, but I knew she was dead. Sure. So wait, so you found her or you found her? I remember looking in on the room to see how she was. I said it was awfully quiet.

I found her, but let him take the credit. No, I'm not. Some credit. No, I'm not. It's some credit. The whole afternoon is like this. Every subject, even their dead grandmother, somehow becomes fodder for another pissing match. They're burning up all this time with small talk when what they need is some big talk.

In particular, they need to address a story that I know holds a great deal of meaning for my father. It took place in 1939, on the day their mother left them. I've only ever heard the story from my father, never from Sheldon. I wanted to ask what you remember, what your perspective. All I remember at that time was when Pop was smacking her around and she ran out in the hall in her slip. She was fighting in the hall. No, he was smacking her around.

She ran out. So what happened the next morning? The next morning? Yeah. Look in the closet, her clothes were gone. She left. What happened after this, and my father's telling, is that his mother returned soon after she left with a policeman in tow.

And he, they came back to try to get you. They wanted you to come back with them. And where were you? I was there, but you was, they were trying to drag you out of the house. They weren't trying to grab you? No, no, no. I could stay with my, my father and grandmother. trying to drag you out of the house. They weren't trying to grab you out? No, no, I can stay with my father and grandmother. This is the point of the story for my father.

It proves once and for all how his mother loved Sheldon more than she loved him. Sheldon didn't move out with her, and after a year their mother returned, and together Buzz and Sheldon grew up under the same roof, in the sameeldon grew up under the same roof, in the same bedroom, often sleeping under the same blankets, each knowing who the mother had chosen, and each having to do their best to carry on and live life with the burden

of that knowledge. A couple times during the day, I ask them why they haven't spoken in so long, and they both insist, maybe out of embarrassment, that they do talk. Just not often. But it isn't true. In fact, my father learned of Sheldon's wife's death many years after the fact, and then only from me. Sheldon's daughter got in touch through Facebook, and we made a phone date where she caught me up on her life in Sheldon's.

And a few nights later, while over at my parents' for dinner, I told my father of his sister-in-law's death. There was a terrible look that fell across his face, one of sadness, but something else too, maybe shock over just how far he and Sheldon had drifted. I found out about Judy, about her death. Who? Your wife. I didn't know about it either until you told me.

Yeah. Didn't I tell you? No. You didn't know about it? No. We didn't know. We didn't know about it. No, we didn't know Hmm. We didn't know She was sick about two years

Judy Well when she Got the diagnosis she was already stage four What did I know about cancer so the the surgeon, so I said, well, doctor, how did the surgery go? Oh, he said it went very well. What? The cancer's in her liver now. Oh, it's spread. I said, it's in her liver.

I said, it's in our liver. I said, what? And on top of that, I'm driving home, I'm all fucked up and I'm spaced out, and my driver window's open and some kids pull up alongside me and flip a lit cigarette into my car. ["The Last Supper"] You know where I usually eat? I come in and buy myself a butter bar. They got a waitress there who always waits on me. It takes good care. For dinner, Sheldon takes us to a local outback steakhouse. As people walk by, he provides a running commentary of an elderly couple, Don't get like that couple, whatever you do.

It's time for the execution. of an overweight couple, Boy, are they fat. People are fat today. It's as though he's sharpening his wit, readying it for the main event, teasing my dad about Canada. I don't know how you could take Canada when you're around. Why?

Because we got nice neighbors. It's nice. It's okay. What was I gonna say? You're living in the same place for how many years? Oh, about over 35, 38 years, something like that. I'm happy to hear that. For my father, I know this is a touchy subject, believing as he always has, that Sheldon looks

down on him for the dinkiness of his Canadian life and home. It's like a constant reminder of just who is second best. Later, my father will repeat Sheldon's words. You're still living in that same place, he'll say, for how many years? But just then, I watch my father clench and unclench his jaw, as he does when he is brooding. I know he's trying to take the high road, trying not to ruin the evening. That's $200.30 at 8th and... Sheldon invites us back to his place for cookies,

but my father says he isn't up for it. Thank you, good night. I'm sure I'm happy now. As we walk through the restaurant parking lot to the car, my father is silent. I find myself feeling protective of him. After midnight, lying awake in our hotel, my father insisted silent. I find myself feeling protective of him. After midnight, lying awake in our hotel, my father insisted we stay at one. I lay in bed thinking about that day

in 1939, when my grandmother came back for Sheldon, not my father. For my father, not only did it push him away from Sheldon, making him feel jealous and resentful, but it also cast a shadow over the rest of his life, causing him to always feel passed over. He's mellowed with age, but as a kid I saw it come out in all kinds of ways, always sensitive to slights, ready for a fight at the smallest perceived defense. I wonder if there's a different way for my father to see things. If there is, the only living person in this world who can help is Sheldon. When their mom left, Sheldon was nine, my father five.

Sheldon would have understood a lot more than my father. Yesterday Buzz and Sheldon talked like a couple of kids who used to play stickball in the old neighborhood. Today, if me and my big fat meddling yap have any sway, they'll have a chance to talk as men. As brothers even. Because if not now, when? Day 2.

This is a damn good cigar. He sent me. Oh, Dominican Republic. They make a damn good cigar. He sent me. Oh, Dominican Republic. They make a damn good cigar in Dominican Republic. Despite the difficulties of last night, the coin is flipped back to the good side. Sheldon offers my father a cigar. And with the cigar, some cigar talk. Some pretty foul cigar talk.

We're riding on Queens Boulevard. Johnny's in the back seat with the whore. He's got his naked ass up in the air. And he's humping. The funny thing is we had to stop for a light. And there's a truck driver sitting in the cab up high. Looked at the guy, that was funny. See, have you guys missed each other?

What? Do you missed each other? What? Do you miss each other? You know, he asked the weirdest question. What's that? What is he, abroad? No, I mean, I don't know. That's, you know. Eager to prove to my uncle Sheldon that in spite of the fact I'm wearing my wife's travel deodorant,

I am indeed not abroad, I allow them to return to more pressing matters, their prostates." The guy says, geez, he says, your prostate feels like the moon crate is in there. I said, thank you, doctor. He's complimenting me. So if I could steer this away from the prostates. So my father said that it's significant to him to have come. What do you say? I agree with whatever he said.

But what about you? I said I agree with whatever he said. Do you want a written contract? No, no, I'm happy for that. It feels like I'm getting a taste of what growing up with Sheldon might have been like. So again, I make my move. So I have some questions just about, because the stories that I know from my father, but I'm curious what your take is because you were older.

Do you remember what was going on when your mom, when your mother left originally? Like what, what, why, and what was going on? Didn't you cover this ground before yesterday? But from my father's perspective, the way I understood it was always you were the favorite. Did you feel that way? At this point, Sheldon's face suddenly softens. I always felt that I got the short end of the stick.

Yeah, but you were kind of a favorite with my mom. Yeah, maybe with mom, because maybe temperamentally we were closer than I was with my father. My father never gave me spit. Did you ever get any money from my father? Can't remember. You never got a from my father? Can't remember. You've never got a dime. Can't remember. You never, one time I sprained my ankle so bad. Oh, I'll never forget that. That was terrible.

I laid in that bed, my ankle. He was- He says to me, you lazy bum. Yeah. Man, he went off on me that time. He took Sheldon once. Sheldon happened to say the word fuck. He came in with that fucking strap swinging with the buckle.

And I can understand it leaving a feeling of resentment and dislike. That was his way of communicating with us. Smack, smack and then. What a way. Yeah. Was he easier on you, do you think? He wasn't that easy, but he was tough on Sheldon. I know you were closer to him than I was.

A lot of things that went on, you didn't understand really what was going on. So you had a different take? Why, are you surprised by it? But I was a kid, I didn't understand it. But you didn't know that Sheldon was getting it so bad? No. In Buzz's telling, their father was always

a more or less benign, childish figure, incapable of expressing his feelings, and so given to temper tantrums. For Buzz, it was their mother who was the manipulator, the woman who played the brothers off each other. But hearing Sheldon's take, it sounds like maybe their mother didn't come to take Sheldon because she loved him best, but simply because he needed more protecting from their father. For the first time during our trip, I can see my father considering Sheldon's point of view, actually taking it in. I know it's intense for him, because he can't even meet Sheldon's eyes. Instead, he looks at me, addresses his comments to me.

You know, it's sad that my father had such a negative impact on him, you know? Just awful. Because he had so much going for him. He was a wonderful son. He worked hard. He was a good boy. You're talking like I'm a failure in life. No, you weren't a failure.

That's the thing that I'm saying. You weren't a failure. But all I'm saying is that emotionally, he left an impact on you. It took a long time for me to get out of that emotion. And now I'm at peace with myself. I can talk about him and laugh about it. Now I want peace, quiet.

I'm happy living by myself. Are you lonely, Sheldon? No. No. The last time my father saw my grandfather in full health, my dad was visiting from Canada. My grandfather asked my father to drive him to the cemetery to visit his parents' grave. And once there, my grandfather wept inconsolably. Later that day, he would succumb to a stroke and shortly after be moved to a nursing home. With Sheldon being more local, the burden

of my grandfather's care fell mainly to Sheldon being more local, the burden of my grandfather's care fell mainly to Sheldon. It seems like a lot of the family's burdens fell to Sheldon. They put a lot of the responsibility on him that my dad should have been taking that responsibility. And he shouldered that. Who's going to take care of you?

Who's going to take you to school? Meet you, I remember one time I was late or something, you stood outside that school, you were crying. I was, yeah, yeah. I said, Buzzy, I'm here, I'm here. He was good to me. A lot of times I was mean to you. Mean, you know, you start, you were my older brother.

You used to knock the shit out of me sometimes, but you know, that's the way it is with brothers. Yeah. I was good in some ways, some ways I was mean. Who was not, who was not? Who was not? So if you feel like you were compelled to see each other now because you knew that, you know,

it's now or never kind of thing, then it means that it was important to you both, right? To see each other. You wanna take that? Sure, yes, it's an easy answer, yes. Yes, because we're not getting any younger. I mean, what's down the road? I'm 80, he's 85.

I mean, because there was a lot of water under the bridge and we want to close that bridge now. I want to feel easy now. I want to say now he's going to be 86. I want to call him on his birthday and say happy birthday to him now. I'm not going to stand in any fucking ceremonies anymore. As my father speaks, as per his brother's example, dropping F-bombs like he's in a Guy Ritchie film,

Sheldon keeps his arms crossed and his eyes shut tight. He's quiet for several seconds, and then he reaches out to pet his cat. Should I leave you to cat in my will, if anything happened? If anything happened, I'll take care of the cat. I'll take care of the cat. I'm happy I came to see you. That I am. I'm happy you came here. you, that I am. I'm happy you came here.

That's good, very good. If you want to buy a house, that one is for sale over there. When it's time to leave, Sheldon walks us outside. But before we get into the rental, he points across the lawn to his neighbor's house. He tells my father that it's for sale, and then he tells him the asking price. And my father says, that doesn't sound bad at all. And Sheldon says that, what, with Canada being so bloody cold,

my father should consider moving to Florida. And my father says, maybe he will. They don't get too emotional. They don't even hug goodbye. They just shake hands. And with that, it feels like Buzz has forgiven Sheldon, and Sheldon has forgiven Buzz. All right, you take care.

Water under the bridge. Take care, you too. Safe trip, both of you. Thank you. Yeah. We'll speak. We'll speak. We'll speak, we'll speak. [♪ music playing on radio and radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio radio As we ride to the airport, my father says that the thought of Sheldon all alone in that house with just a cat makes him sad.

Do you really think he isn't lonely? My father asks. I assure him that Sheldon seems okay with being alone, but my father doesn't seem so sure. After all these years, the burden of having lost his brother has been replaced by a new burden, one that might be heavier to bear. Now that the furniture's returning to its goodwill home Now that the last month's rent is scheming with the damage deposit So, you know why I wanted to talk to you? Yeah, I know you wanted to talk to me.

But you know about what? I have no idea. So I wanted to revisit, do you remember the story that I made about you and your brother Sheldon? Sure, oh yeah. Back then you were in your, I think you were 80 and I think Sheldon was 84 or 85. Right, right, right.

Yeah, if I was 80. You just turned 90. A couple months. Yeah, yeah, December. Did you get a phone call from Sheldon? Yes, I did, of course. Oh yeah. He welcomed me into the big nine-oh.

He'll be 95 in July. So do you guys talk on all of your birthdays or just on the big ones? Every birthday. Every birthday. I call him, he calls me. Yeah. And we talk a little bit. Yeah. We just talk. So what do you guys talk about? What did you talk about when he called you up for your 90th? How he's feeling? Does he still go out to eat? Does he still drive a car? You know, things like that. Is he getting around? And he goes out. He's got the steakhouse that he goes to. It's like an outback. And he goes there. He has his seat or stool. Does he still smoke his cigars and drink beer? No, you know, he stopped that because he developed a cough.

So he stopped. Even though you only speak to Sheldon a couple times a year, do you feel like your life is enriched by having him in it? Yes. He's important to me in many ways. I feel he's my mortality. In other words, as long as he lives, I'm okay. Do you understand that? This is a bond we have in a certain way.

That we have this long life and it's kind of a gift and it's kind of a magic to it. As long as he keeps on living, I'm okay. Wow, you know, he's 95, I can go yet, you know, a few more years. Thanks to everyone who helped put this episode together. We'll be back next week with another Encore presentation of Heavyweight, and with it, another update from our guest. I'm going to go to bed. The Medal of Honor is the highest military decoration in the United States. Recipients have done the improbable, the unexpected, showing immense bravery and sacrifice in the name of something much bigger than themselves. This medal is for the men who went down that day.

On Medal of Honor, Stories of Courage, you'll hear about these heroes and what their stories tell us about the nature of bravery. Listen to Medal of Honor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. For decades, China's economic rise has been symbolized by the unstoppable force of low-cost manufacturing. But today, a new and far more disruptive wave of competition is unfolding. One that threatens not just Western manufacturing,

but also the West's geopolitical dominance. I'm journalist James King, and in my new audio book, Global Tech Wars, from Pushkin Industries and the Financial Times, I'm unpacking what China's rapid technological ascent across cutting-edge industries like artificial intelligence, electric vehicles and surveillance technology means for the future. Find Global Tech Wars at pushkin.fm slash audiobooks, Audible, Spotify and wherever audiobooks are sold.

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