Heavyweight - Heavyweight Check In 5

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

Jonathan surprises Stevie and Kalila with some special friends from seasons past who, wouldn’t you know it, are still in need of his help. Mix by Bobby Lord. Music by Bobby Lord, Christine Fellows, Blue Dot Sessions, and Connie Shi (https://www.iamconnieshi.com/). We put together a Heavyweight playlist… fan and staff favorites. If you’re looking to introduce friends to the show, it’s a good place to start: heavyweight.show/playlist. You can find Connie's song here: https://open.spotify.com/track/46QGACGIdJ9XWcxkEvgBmi?si=f1OduvGzQwK7BP7o2ASGxA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Kalila? Hello? Let me get Stevie. Hang on. Hello? Kalila? Hello? Let me get Stevie. Hang on. Hello? Hi. Hey. How are we? Stevie?

I actually had a really great weekend. What did you do? I saw two friends this weekend. As in real life? Yeah, yeah. My friends Peter and Leo. I saw two friends this weekend. As in real life? Yeah, yeah, my friends Peter and Leo. And, you know, we stayed six feet apart and everything, but, like, I saw friends. And it's been so long since I've seen in person a friend.

Yeah. I was waiting for them outside, and I Peter go you know Stevie and it was like immediately I felt like I was like lighter you know like it really lifted something and I left feeling really light like I don't know I don't really yeah it was very hard to resist the urge to just go over and like give, give them a hug. It was like fighting with that, you know? Yeah. I also saw people for the first time, you know, 10 feet apart this weekend. My in-laws, they came by. I think it was nice for Augie.

Occasionally, of course, like, he would forget and kind kind of run towards them and we'd have to pull him back. Grand-grandpa. Augie, stay back. First for grand-grandpa. And I think those were the moments that felt the roughest because, you know, it's sort of like you're negating this natural, wonderful tendency to run towards people that you love. Yeah. wonderful tendency to run towards people that you love. So, um, Augie and his grandparents were exchanging knock-knock jokes.

Augie, I got another one for you. Knock-knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Kazoo type. Yeah. Ha ha ha. All of Augie's knock-knock jokes made no sense. Knock-knock.

Who's there? Emlyn. A doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Nos Magua. Yeah, so that was kind of, it was a mixed bag, but it was kind of nice. Yeah.

Kalila, what have you been up to? How was your weekend? Just something about this past week especially. I don't know. I don't know. I think it just hit the point of really sort of feeling gray. I feel like I really was hitting a point of like despair kind of. Uh, so this weekend,

um, sorry, you guys, I don't know why I'm getting so emotional. It's okay. Um, yeah. Yeah. So, well, so one thing we did this weekend which this is you and your boyfriend yeah me and sam my boyfriend got a zip car for yesterday to just like go somewhere else um which ended up being nice like we had a nice day um but the planning of it sort of just like made us both feel worse because we were like oh like everything is closed like

yeah it just really made it feel like oh there's like nowhere there's like nothing to do um and we ended up going to um fort tilden uh and walking along the beach and having lunch out there, which was nice. Yeah. And then in the evening, I watched a movie, which is, like, all I've been doing is watching a ton of movies. But I miss, like, going to, like, a movie theater, like, going to the movies. So I made popcorn on the stove. Two tablespoons of oil. Which I'd never made it on the stove before. Like I'd had it with my family that way, but I'd never just done it myself. And you've had popcorn in a movie theater.

Yes, I've had plenty of popcorn in a movie theater. I once ate so much popcorn in a movie theater that I threw up afterwards. This was as a child, I've had plenty of popcorn in a movie theater. I once ate so much popcorn in a movie theater that I threw up afterwards. This was as a child, I'm assuming? Nope, this was like two years ago. Really? So sad. No, that sounds like living the dream. How can you be sure that it was from overeating popcorn?

This has happened to me before. I think the problem is if I don't eat dinner and then I eat just popcorn with a lot of movie theater butter on it, it like makes me a little nauseous. But I love it, so I always eat it anyway. Wow. So you really love popcorn. I love popcorn, yeah. And did you use the technique of like where you wait for the first kernel to pop and then you start shaking the pan vigorously? Yeah, and actually when I heard the first one, I was like, is that a pop?

That sounded like a pop. Really makes you question yourself. Yeah, it does. But it turned out really well. And I melted real butter to put on it. Did it make you less nauseous? Yeah, it actually did. Hey, success.

You didn't throw up. I didn't throw up. I didn't throw up. Was there something just about having popcorn to watch a movie with? Yeah, it was nice. Yeah. I mean, it did make it feel more of an event instead of just filling the time, I guess. There's something just about the sound of popcorn popping

that I think is universally one of the most wonderful sounds. Yeah, it's great. I think we're in business here. You know what else I've been up to? What? And this is going to cheer you up. This is going to cheer us all up. Okay. You ready for some good cheer?

I guess. I decided that as a special surprise, I was going to check in with some favorite people from the show. People that we and America and parts of Canada have grown to love. Like who? My old friend Gregor. A favorite indeed. We talked for a while.

He's homeschooling his kids. He's taking on their education. And we got to talking. And do you remember a young man named Joey? Yeah, how could I forget? How could we forget? Two seasons ago, Gregor and I went to Los Angeles to help him. He had been banned from his favorite pizzeria

and Joey's kind of a sloppy guy and he was having trouble with his roommates. Of which there were many. Yes, many, many roommates. So Gregor and I had kind of decided that we would give Joey a call, check in with him and see how he's doing during this quarantine. there was something that happened during the course of our telephone call that kind of made Gregor and I feel really good about having called him in the first place because it seemed like he was still in need of our help. Joey? Is this who I think it is?

Good to hear your voice. Guess who I have on the line here? It's-a me, Joey. The one and only? You sound exactly the same, only healthier. I think I am healthier than the last time we were together. Yeah, you radiate health. My diet is a little more varied than it was when we last spoke.

When it was just pizza. Yeah, I've moved on from day-old cold pizza to some actual veggies now. Go on, what do you got in your crisper drawer, Joey? My house just went to the grocery store yesterday. So, okay, we got eggplant, lemons and limes. Oh, leeks, that's a fun one. Whoever has a leek. I think we can pause you there.

Joey, do you still have that mustache? Yeah, yeah, and I'm growing a quarantine beard as well. Are you still keeping up with your rollerblading? For the most part. I mean, it's kind of slowed down because it's not super fun to rollerblade in a mask. I think last we left Joey, he had a roommate situation. That's right. So now what's your deal?

Are you living on your own? I'm living in a much better situation now. Living in a duplex apartment with six other boys, so, you know, little tight quarters. How many roommates did you have back when? I think it was five. And now you've got six. So I opted by one, yeah. But it's a bigger space.

It's like a real house. I'll admit I still am in a curtained off, kind of a makeshift living room turned bedroom deal. Wait, so you still have bed sheets for walls? Yeah, only one wall this time as opposed to all of them. I got to say, no offense to Joey, but Johnny, I think your craftsmanship in fixing Joey's life is questionable.

No, it's way better now. He's picked up another roommate and he's got a sheet for a wall again. Why all of a sudden when Joey's not doing well, all of a sudden he's my son, Joey? Well, he was your charge. You said, I'm going to get this guy out of his No, we were both.

No, that's the thing. See, I'm giving you credit for elevating my life and lifting me out of where I was. See, I'm doing a lot better now. I just picture him on his rollerblades on a slight grade where he's rolling back down and not realizing it. He's going backwards down the hill. Okay, but downhills are always the funnest part

of rollerblading. So you have now six roommates? Yep. We've all been friends for years since college. You're pitching in? I'd say so. But lately, since quarantine started, it seems like the other roommates in the house have kind of doubled down on trying to keep things clean,

which I get. We're spending more time at home. Things get messy easier. But to me, I can't clean every crumb every single time. That's just going a little too far. And so this started really getting to one of my roommates. Every time I would leave a single crumb, a single knife in the sink,

he would confront me head on. And this really just blew up the other morning. I woke up and the first thing I hear is just him beckoning me into the kitchen to say, is this your knife? Is this yours? He just wanted to get into it as my first thing I hear in the morning

and I just really couldn't. I needed to avoid confrontation. I just basically ran away and said, I can't hear this right now. Now, Joey, when you went back to your room, like, this would be a situation where one might slam their door. What do you do? No, I mean, I tried to do the same.

I retreated to my room. But the difference is he was able to just walk, like, right on the other side of the curtain and, like, speak to me. So five minutes later, he— You push the curtain aside or you crawl under the curtain? I'll push it aside. Just painting an image in my mind. Okay.

Because it's less dignified when you frog crawl out from under your curtain to get yelled at. No, it's better than that. But no, he did come around and try to talk to me through the curtain and just said, I'm here to talk when you want to. So did you ever end up having that conversation with him? No, no. Instead, he ended up sending me a text, like, I think a few hours later.

That was actually an apology. He wrote, my approach was not the right one, and I apologize. I haven't felt great this week. I've been overly sensitive. And then he goes, no need to respond. Just wanted to send this to you so you knew where I was at. I really care for you and don't want to hurt you or cause division between us.

Wow. Wow. Okay. Did you not read this text until now? I read it. I read it just one time. I mean, I was still definitely kind of heated when I got it. I think you just heard Joey digesting the second and last emotional phrase of that text.

That was definitely the first time. I mean, we don't usually talk like that. So that's pretty surprising. Okay. And then what was your next text back to him? So he said no need to respond, but I figured I would just let him know I got it. And so I just wrote thanks. Did you send it as an emoji or you actually wrote it?

And that's it, just thanks. I accepted his apology. I mean, how long ago did you get this text from your roommate? I think it was about a week ago now. Were you to call him over and say, hey, I'm partly to blame for this whole knife situation also, he would know what you're talking about? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

But wait, but first my question is, I mean, do I owe him an apology? I think we need to address that first. Gregor? This roommate seems like a prince. He's like, I'm sorry I yelled at you for leaving your filthy knife and crumbs on the floor. You're important to me and I cherish you and I cherish our time together. Did he use the word cherish? Uh, I don't think he, I don't think that's part of his vocabulary. Point is,

Joey should pick up after himself. This is not some complicated equation. Alright, so you're saying that Joey owes him a little bit of an apology. A reciprocal apology. I think if you live by yourself and you're a disgusting slob, you're reprehensible, but at least you're your only victim. If you live with six dudes,

if everyone leaves a knife in the sink, you got a forest full of knives in the sink. You're all under house confinement. I think it's time to be super persnickety. So he could have been nicer about it, but I still think he's apologizing for giving you some harsh treatment. I think you need to step up your game.

I think you're right. I'm totally fine with you like sleeping with your dirty socks next to your bed. That's in your sheeted off quadrant of the living room. But you can't leave food around. That's just not good. So what is your roommate? What is his name? His name is Pavin. Is Pavin within shouting distance right now? His name is Pavin. Is Pavin within shouting distance right now? I am tucked away in the closet doing the recording. Can you do it in a muffled yell from inside your closet?

No, maybe open up the closet door. Okay, let me get out of the closet here. And it's going to take me some work to weasel my way out of here. Now, while Joey struggles to get out of his closet studio, we're going to have an advertisement. What a building of narrative suspense. You know, I've been listening to this whole thing on double speed, and now I'm going to slow it down to single speed. Here come the parade of savings. Savings.

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Please play responsibly. And we're back. We're back. We're back. Let's just join Joey as he struggles to get out of the closet and on with his life. It's also a thousand degrees in there, so it feels good to get some fresh air. Hold on. I'm climbing over the desk right now. Oh, boy.

Okay. All right, so, yeah, I'll also mention that Pavin's room is the one right next to mine. So we almost share a room, really, that's curtained off. But, yeah, here he is now. Hey, Pavin. Yeah. Listen, I kind of wanted to apologize, actually, for what happened last week. I think you probably know what I'm talking about. I do know what you're talking about.

Yeah. So I know that you sent me a very thoughtful message, and I thank you for it. That was really nice. Yeah, yeah. Probably took a lot for you to do that. Yeah, I just, you know, it's a really heightened time, and I didn't want to. It could have been handled better on both sides. I agree.

But thank you. Thank you a lot. I don't know if I fully said it, but I apologize for leaving things around. I know it's my responsibility. This is like a community. Thank you so much. Thank you. I mean, it's just nice to know that we're on the same page because then there's no tension in the house and things are going well.

So, yeah, you're doing a great job, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for keeping things clean. Yeah, you got it. Joey, Joey. Joey, that was magnificent. That was so good. Really? From the last time that we were with you. I mean, you've come so far.

Yeah, that was really straightforward. And I was getting ready to start sweating when you said, I want to talk to you. And instead, you were just clear, concise, really spit it out. It was great. Yeah, I think he definitely appreciated that. And I feel better, too. It was great. I mean, this is the kind of skill set that only a Goldstein can give you to deal with your roommates. And a Gregor.

No, it's all you, Johnny. See, before we were both trying to pawn Joey off on each other. And look at us now. The whole time you were talking, all I could picture was the fade, and Johnny comes on in his dulcet voice where he's like, and so it is that the roommates were reconciled, and the apartment found peace once again. Peace once again.

So I spoke with another favorite. Who? Steve Marsh from the Marshes, from the titular Marshes. Do you remember Steve? Of course. Likes his Seagrams and 7-Up, ayahuasca plants. We did an episode with Steve about how as an adult he'd found out that his parents had had a kid before he was born that they had put up for adoption and that they never told him or anyone about. And Steve and I set about trying to find her. So I checked in with Steve

to see how he's weathering this pandemic and he still needs a little help from, from Jonathan Goldstein. Can you hear me? I can. Can you hear me? Yeah. How's your head space? Because I know you're, you're a pretty social person.

Yeah. That's, that's been my biggest thing. So I love meeting new people and it kind of wakes up my brain and, um, it's one of the great, uh, pleasures of my life. So now bereft of the chance to meet new people, your mind drifts to,

uh, people like if you can't go outside, you go inside. And so you have these, uh, memories and nostalgia for people that you haven't talked to in a while. Are you thinking of someone specifically? Because we've been doing this thing lately where we're trying to connect people with friends that they've drifted from.

There's this woman, Mika, she's in Paris. She got pissed at me when I was stuck in Africa. Her now husband had to go to Paris or so I could get out of Gabon. Wait, wait, hang on a second. Back up. You were stuck in France? I was stuck in Africa. What happened? My friend was in a movie about people going to Gabon, was in a movie about people going to Gabon, Africa to do Iboga, which is this psychedelic route. And I went down there and I met them and I was like, I want to try Iboga. And I did. And I went into like a fugue state for like 48 hours and I missed my flight back. Holy cow. And this was pleasant?

No, it's horrible. Like a waking nightmare kind of thing. And it was weird. So I did like 30 spoonfuls of the, they grind up this iboga into a powder, but 30 spoonfuls of it. And then I also did an additional, how much of the sawdust through an enema at the same time. at the same time.

God, this does not sound appealing. It's like you're eating basically a large breakfast bowl of this. Of sawdust, highly acidic sawdust. And then when you're done with that, they're like, no, no, no. Now comes the enema. Yeah, they're like, oh, you haven't had enough. Because I was like, oh, I can't do it. You're not getting, like, because I was like,

I was like, oh, I can't do it. I can't do it anymore. I was being a baby. And they're like, okay, well, come into this hut and we'll give you an enema. What recollections do you have from those 48 hours? Anything stick with you? Well, they ask you, like, to describe what you see. And I was like, I saw some flickering on the lantern.

So then that's my Ibogaine name. I'm like whatever the African equivalent of flickering in the lantern is, which is like, who doesn't see flickering in the lantern? I was kind of quasi seeing this uh a woman in minnesota at the time and i i felt like she was uh not just seeing me you know i i focused on those kind of paranoid uh feelings until i went into this like yeah grayed out fugue state for eight hours. And then to come to and realize that Moroccan Air isn't going to refund my ticket unless somebody can appear on my behalf at the Paris Orly airport. Why would someone have to, why would that be the terms of getting a reimbursement on your ticket?

I don't know. You need it. It's like, I don't know. So she had to go to this airport in France. Her husband did. And I think Mika just found the whole escapade to be irresponsible and has really

never forgiven me. And that was the end of your friendship? Yeah. How long was it since you last had actual contact? Oh, man. So this was in, this is like right before Maggie and I started dating.

It's like eight years ago. So like, and then I think it was like a couple years later or something. I was like, hey, you know, I might be coming through town. And she was like, I don't want to see you. Hmm. Oh. And was that the last contact you had with her? That was it, yeah.

And I love Mika. Like, Mika's, she has a great laugh, man. I used to love making Mika laugh. I guess it's one of the few kind of, the few people in my life that I've really hurt them. A few people in my life that I've really hurt them. Do you want to reach out just to see how she's doing in the midst of all this? Yeah, man.

That might be nice. That might be nice. Then maybe I could actually apologize to her maybe formally. Because you never have, really. I don't think so. Is she still in Paris? Yeah. Because I think right now it's midnight in Paris.

Calling her midnight might make things worse. Yeah. So on behalf of Steve, I ended up just sending Mika an email. And she said, yeah, sure, we can get on the telephone. So that's what we did. Oh, you hear that European classy ringtone? I do. It's better than you, that ringtone.

Better than me. Hello? Mika? Hold on, let me put on my headphones on. Okay. Should I be talking? I don't know. I didn't think of it. What? I don't, should I be talking? I don't know. I didn't think of it.

Hello. Hey, Steve. I hear Steve. Hey. Hey, man. How are you? How are you? I'm good, man.

I miss you. I was just thinking, I was talking to Jonathan and Christoph having to drop everything and bail me out of my Iboga stupor in Africa and inviting that Condé Nast guy, the photographer, to crash your place. Your mom walked in on... Wait, Steve, I'm really sorry to interrupt.

Mika, forgive me. But wait, what is... We talked about the whole drug thing, but what is the thing about the photographer? Oh, well, Mika had gone on a family vacation, and she let me stay in her crib. Okay. And then I was out with a Condé Nast photographer, and he didn't have a place to stay that night, and I volunteered Mika's place without asking her permission.

Oh, wait, so on top of the whole other thing, there was also this guy, Stephen. I know. I mean, Mika, that's the thing. Honestly, I'm sorry for all of it, and for Christophhe as well. I feel like I estranged myself from you by acting like such an ugly American. I mean, no, I was definitely wanting to help you out when you're in Africa.

When you called me, you were like, I'm desperate. I need to get out of here. So I was totally like, okay, we're going to get you out. And Christophe is a really great guy. And I was just like, just tell him thank you. You know, please, like, I don't know if I can swear in this, but, like, you got to, like. No, you could swear. Or something.

Oh, I don't know that. You better. Right. Oh, I don't know that. You better. Right. I think what was really problematic was that, yeah, you invited your friend without telling me. So when you asked me a couple years after to come with your sweetie, I was like, I had to make a choice like do I want to have another adventure and put up with like well it was kind of tricky when you came and it was a

little bit for lack of a better word high maintenance right right totally oh Steve I'm I mean I'm totally glad that you you know, we're friends and I'm really happy to talk to you now. And I really appreciate you saying sorry. And I thank you for that. Steve, you're good people. We're cool. Thanks Mika. It's great to hear your voice, man.

What's up Steve? How are you? I'm good man yeah I'm totally good how is Paris you know like so in about 10 days or on the 11th and hey guess what that's our show that's it okay yeah oh but not quite yet a couple more things oh well okay so that was a lie uh i wanted to mention that oftentimes people ask what they

could do to help support the show. And you know what? Don't send us any money. Don't send your jewelry. All you have to do is try to listen on Spotify. You can listen anywhere you want, and we're appreciative of that. But if you want to do a solid, listen on Spotify because it won't hurt. It'll help.

And what we've done to further entice is we've assembled a playlist of some of our favorite episodes as well as some of listener favorites. This is called the Heavyweight Starter Kit. If you search for that on Spotify, you'll find it. And it's a lot of fun.

And there's a link in the show notes. Yeah. If you're into the whole clicking thing. And another way that you guys can continue to support us is by sending in your emails with your stories and just how you're doing at this time. We really enjoy reading them. And among the emails that we received this week was a song by a singer-songwriter named Connie Shee. Hello, I'm Connie Shee. I'm in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn, and I am currently in my bedroom on my floor looking out my window at other buildings. So I am having trouble processing my feelings about all this and so i wrote a song about it

and i thought i would share it with you every passing day i feel a little worse about zeus i was good for a while, filled my schedule with classes Got dressed in my makeup, even curled my eyelashes But a slump is so close, it might be here already I watched ten episodes of Community last night And my screenwriting class is a great group of people But I don't think I'm a writer, I'm more of a sleeper

In my dreams I can float, I don't feel any pressure I am light as the weather Is it morning already? Where is the sun? I lost my marble somewhere in the bathroom And I can feel all my atoms are shaking with what can't be done It's hard to feel lucky without feeling guilty. A soundtrack of sirens haunts and connects me. The future feels heavy and I miss my mom. I've got no room to pace so my mind is what's running but it's more of a stumble With no distance I'm covering I know now is the time to create, but I'm hungry again

Is it morning already? Where is the sun? I lost my marble somewhere in the bathroom And I can feel all my atoms are shaking with what can't be done I know that something has ended and something's begun I just wish someone could give me more answers Or tell me just close your eyes and then open When I get to one