Help I Swiped Right - Help! He's 6' 7"

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

Hello Swipers,I'm back with another storytime from my dating past. This week is about Mr 6. 7"... I talk about dating as a tall girlie (I'm 173cm) and ask if height matters?Plus I answer your dating dilemmas.Please send your dating questions and dilemmas to [e-mail] of love,SJamxxx

Hello and welcome to another episode of Help I Spiped Right. I'm so happy you're here. I'm your host, S-Jam. Every week I'll be sharing fun stories from my dating past, musings on the world of modern dating, and of course I'll be answering your dating questions and dilemmas as well. If you would like your question or dilemma answered on the podcast, please email help us swipe right at gmail.com or DM me on Instagram, help us work dry on Insta. How are we all doing this week? Thank you so much for listening to last week's episode and for the reaction to last week's episode. Help I hate being single. Yeah, had loads of nice responses to that. So thanks so much. And yeah, I just wanted to say I feel

1,000 times better since putting that out there. The ironic thing is the actual moment after I finished pressing record, I already felt so much better. I think I need to just feel those feelings, process them, release them, and that was it. And this podcast is like free therapy. Even if everyone listens, just the process of talking about it and getting it out, it's kind of like, what they say in therapy, you know, journaling can be good too. Here, I'm just sort of journaling out loud and yeah just releasing the thoughts itself even by any reaction that's all i needed to feel better so anyone single out there that is struggling with being single or you have those little low moments that is what i'd encourage you to do not i'm not saying start a podcast but please do

i'm saying talk to a friend journal it grab coffee with someone drinks and you need to just get it out there's no use pretending oh it's okay shoving the feelings down no you need to feel the feelings so yeah sometimes all you need to do is express the feelings acknowledge where you're at and just feel so much lighter afterwards so I still feel as important to like document that's where I was that last week that's where I was feeling um nothing's changed like that's the interesting thing isn't it literally nothing has changed in my life The only thing that's changed is my perspective this week where nothing has changed. I would still like a partner one day.

But we keep it moving and we keep appreciating the stage of life that we're at right now. So I have got some more fun stories for you this week. Obviously, this episode is called Help He's Six-Fit-Seven. So I thought we'll dive back into the story time of when I was dating this guy who was six-foot-seven. Now, this man was a literal walking red flag, a massive red flag. But he was six-seven, so I ignored it all. I'd actually need help. But the thing is, do I need help?

I would a lot of girls do the same? Let me know. But we met on Hinge, obviously, and I did see his height, 6, 7, and I didn't really deep it because men lie about their height all the time. They always over-deterate, but, like, no, genuinely. I didn't measure him, but he was 6-7, like, he was massive. I obviously liked his photos, and then we met in real life, and I was like, I think he's really cute in real life.

I can't remember what our first date was. Oh, I remember now. This is a top tip, guys, for when you're dating or if you're out there, you're on the app, you're going on so many dates, it gets really tiring. And also I hear a lot of my girlfriends saying they're getting ghosted, this, that, and the other. So I think what I'd recommend is a little strategy for everyone out there is, don't make a special effort for these first dates, especially when they're from the apps. You're basically

meeting a stranger. You don't even know what they look like in real life. You don't even know if they're who they are, if they are who they're pretending to be on the apps. So the first date is literally just verification in my mind at this point. I don't even get excited. I'm literally meeting a stranger. It's verification. So top tip, tack on a first date onto something you're already doing. Because I hear, I hear these girls saying, oh my God, spent two hours doing my hair and makeup. Then he ghosted me, no, nah, I don't do that. I'm already doing something. I already have my hair and makeup done, because I'm already getting dinner with friends, doing whatever it is I'm doing, and then I will see that man for the first date,

like before or after I'm doing something else. So there's no effort on my heart, on my side. So I remember that this guy, um, we're trying to date. And I was. I was like, look, meet me at 5pm at this place in London. And he was like, he was a bit like free chat by. He was like, I'm the man. Shouldn't I be planning this? Like, and I was like, well, like, this is when I'm through. And he was like, okay.

He was like, oh, I've actually got these work drinks, but I'll try there. I was like, well, look, you can't come, you can't come. But if you come, like, I'll be there. And he was like, okay. So he came and meet me. And I said, Tim, look, I actually only got like an hour, an hour and a half. because I'm going to a work event after this and he was like oh he was really like just squeezing me in like it's a flying visit I was like yeah don't you think it's good to keep things like short and sweet at first anyway um we literally only spent like what an hour and a half max together because I had to go to this work event afterwards but like I say guys top tip I feel relaxed you've got an easy get out cause and if things are going well that's amazing that's good leave it on a high treat a mean, keep and keen.

So we had this, like, quick drink. We had, like, two drinks together. Things are going well. And I was like, yeah, I've got to go now to the event, but I'd love to meet you, like, message me if you're going to do this thing again. Perfect, done. So the first day, I've met him in person. I liked him.

I liked the way he looked. Felt literally chemistry. And he was cute. We didn't kiss. It was just, like, a very short date. Take a bye. Left it as, like, let's let's his thing again. then date two i was like you know i wouldn't you to plan it because i i said come here for the first

one and you know obviously that's inconvenient for you it was just something that fitted me in so i don't mind for you to plan this one like i'm easy now this is the first red flag of this guy he's such he was such like a limp biscuit like why would planning a date be so hard like he was not planning this date basically. He was like, oh, don't know where to go, where to eat. You know, I like it. Men listening, this is what you do. You say, hey, like, what kind of food do you like? Or do you have a preference for, like, what you'd like to do. Maybe, like, ask the girl. And if she says, oh, Italian, you find, like, two Italian restaurants and you say, do you prefer this or this? And then you say, okay, cool, I'll put that one. That's what you do. This man could not make a

decision. He was asking me all these things. I remember he was like, oh, I don't know, like, what to do, like, where to go. I was like, draw me to fucking book this. He didn't want me to book it because he's a loser. Anyway, we'll come on to that later, but we had the second date.

And because he booked it so last minute, we couldn't get a reservation at like a good time for dinner. So he went like at a bar first, I think it was a pub first. Fine, and the thing's going, well, there. Then we get dinner, went to another pub afterwards. Like, it was a nice date. and I remember kissing in the rain and just it was cute, it was romantic.

What I'm saying it's a good date is that we got on with each other. I'm having chemistry and we're flirting and I'm getting to know him. That's why it's a good date. His planning skills, it was not a good date. And siren alert, flashing alarm, he asked to split the bill at dinner. That did let him down. slightly, okay? And I've spoken before in the podcast how I feel about that. I fancied the pants of him, okay? I did feel that in my gut, I was like, oh, can we split this? It's an it. It's

eternal. But at that point, I was really so into him that it kind of like, it ducted to some points, but he had enough points going for me to still then see things. But in my heart, I was disappointed by that. Anyway, that's date two. Now, date three, I plan this. And again, I think that's fair for it to be like, you plan one, I plan one, even though he barely planned that one. But whatever, I found a comedy gig.

We're talking about how we both love comedy, and I was like, hey, let's go and see this comedy show. So, did that. I booked it and paid for it because I was like, you know, it's my idea. I found it, whatever, cool. And this is a weird thing about him. He kept saying things like, oh, I'm supposed to be the man. Like, I should book it.

And it's like, well, like, do it then. Like, you're not a man. I'm the man. Anyway, it was, I remember the comedy day. It was really good. Having a good time. He was very large than life. And obviously he is large.

And we sat in the front row. it was like unreserved we got there a bit late so it's like you have to sit at the front and he was feeling quite conscious that obviously he's massive and we're the front row so it's blocking the view behind us and you know he had the energy of like wanting to be picked on you know and the comedians like turned to the crown and stuff like he was very keen and he like wanted to be hooked I was like bro chill out and I remember oh my gosh it's really embarrassing one comedian you know it's like a night where a

loads of different like new comics come on stage for like 10 minutes set it was that kind of thing so this guy was on stage and he was saying so about being circumcised it's like yo like put hands up like guys nearly didn't too circumcised and this guy put his hand up and I was like how is this the way that I'm finding that out about you like it was weird I was like we've only just started dating I did not know that about him now that's a fun fact I've learned about him were circumcised. I was like, cool. Yeah, that was a bit awkward. Anyway, there were many awkward moments that night, so that that's by the by. I also remember going to the toilet and then come and put out the toilet and this girl is talking to him at the bar and this girl's

like, oh my God, you're so tall, like to him. And I kind of walked over and was like, I think I walked over and kind of like touched him his back or something to be like, yeah, he's mine. we're talking to him back off then the girl was all flustered she's like oh I can't remember what she said but she just tried to elegantly get out of the situation and I was like yeah back off and yeah this is the point I'm making around him he was freakishly tall like to the point where like when we were out other people are commenting on his height coming up to him like but he must be used to it he's massive context I'm 5-8 I'm a tall lady, I'm a tall girl, I'm

173 centimetres exactly, okay? And I say this because a lot of men out there don't know their heights. They've not been measured. They just put Willy lily out there, six foot. Six foot where?

Six foot who? Okay? Because I'm 5'8. I then get men telling me you're not 5'8, you can't be because I'm that, bro, get the measuring tape out. okay i know my height i am a hundred and seventy three centimeters exactly i don't know when or where you're measured answers to that you're not you've just plucked this number out of thin air because you like the sound of it uh so anyway i'm a tall girl so dating someone at six seven it's nice

it's nice to feel like small now i'm not heightest you know i've dated men of all different heights but it is nice having a tool man. I do like a tall guy. I can't lie. After various day experiences with people from different heights, I now kind of just can't be asked to go short guys because it just always becomes a thing that they bring up. They love to bring up my height.

And I'm on the date of a guy who again put on his profile six foot. Every day I had with him, I think it was like three dates in total. He would bring up my height and he'd try to be like, oh, like, you're tall. aren't you? Oh, you're not, are you 5'8? You're sort of like, bro, yes, I am tall. You've met me now three times. Like, you know my height. And he, appalled into his profile was six foot. He wasn't. He was probably like 5'10 or something. So, like, he was, you know, a little bit taller than me. And I just think, I just can't be asked with these men. There are men out there

that was short and I'd probably like secure confident that could be fine but my experience so far has been that they are not okay about it and I just cannot be asked with that energy and dealing with men's insecurities so I just tend obviously on the app you can see the height so I now in terms of view I don't tend to go for I can't remember the last time I've been on the date of a guy that's shorter than me. Hardly ever in my life. Have I been on the day

if I'm shorter than me? And usually it's been like they've put 5'10, I arrived to the date, they're 5'6. That's happened to me like a couple of times. What happens now a lot of the times, yeah, they put like 6 foot and they're not 6 foot, they're like 5'10. But obviously they are still then

marginally taller than me if they're 5'10. So, yeah, I've not really dated guys that's shorter than me. Same height or a little bit taller than me, somewhat common. But I do tend to date guys that are like six foot plus. That's my type. I think we look good together. I think it's a good ratio.

And it's nice to like lean up and kiss someone. But I would love to hear out there. I'm very interested in this height thing. Does height matter to you? If you're a girl, do you only date the eyes that are taller? Um, do you date guys that are shorter? Do we love short kings? My guys out there, I would love to hear your thoughts on height as well. Like, would you date girl taller than you? I know some guys love that. Like, this is the other thing. I feel we're short guys sometimes. It's like they're looking for a tall girl to validate them or it's like a fetish or something. And again, I can't be asked of that. So, yeah. I would love to hear your thoughts on height, and all of my tall girls out there, please write in. I'd love to hear your experiences.

Like, dating is a tall girl. It's no joke. I don't care. And the thing is also, I'm not, like, really, really tall. Like, I'm tall, but it's not crazy. Like, obviously, there's girls out there that are, like, six foot plus. I, I acknowledge that probably does shorten the dating pool, like, a lot. And I can see how that becomes a lot harder and it's a more standout noticeable height.

But my height, I do feel tall, but it's not like crazy. I love my height as a thing. I love being a tall girl as well and I don't even feel too. I just feel like me. But, yeah, heightened dating. Wasn't a bit of tangent there. I guess six-six-six-seven guy got me thinking about height in general. He probably is the tallest guy that I've dated.

And if I can describe his bill to you, he wasn't just tall. He was very muscular. Having your head Tommy Fury, that very, very muscular build, like massive. So, yeah, he was fair. I found him attractive, but he was such a red flag. So, where do I even go? from here. So he lived in a flat share and I went to his flat and this is the point where I should turn around and said this is not a serious man. His flat is messy. It's gross. His room was really

gross. He was like, oh, I've got no clean clothes. I've got to do a wash. He's then just doing his laundry when I'm there. Like it was just, oh. I am a Taipei person. I am a Taipei person. them, okay? I just am. I like order. I've got my shit together. And this guy was very type B. And it's not to say type A and type B can't be together as a couple, but we could not be together as a couple. I could not be of this man. Like he did not have his shit together in life. And again, to other people out there that type B, you could be like, oh, it's chill. Like, so what? He hasn't done his laundry and his house is a bit messy. To me, no. Because you're making the first impression to someone. It's the first time I'm going to his house. Obviously, it was unplanned. So he hadn't, like, if it was planned and his house was tip, that's insane. I'd have to leave. But it was unplanned. So, but still, I just think that gave me an insight, really, as to where he was at in life. And it's not where I was at in life. You know, I've got my own flat.

My house isn't, you know, tidy 24-7, but best believe I'm not letting someone, if I liked someone romantically, and my house is messy, they are not seeing that. They're not coming round. They're simply not coming over. Like, it's not conducive to having a nice romantic evening. So that was, I don't know what number were on for red flags, but it was one of the many red flags that his house was a bit of state and is living with these flatmates. And not again living in a flatmate. like, mates, in essence is fine. I'm not shading that. But he was 35. I'm 30 at the time I was what, like 29 or something. And I just thought, we're not really on the same page. What's the plan here? Like, are you getting your own flat? Like, why did you live these two random guys? Why is your bathroom disgusting? There are a lot of questions. trying to remember that next red flags are we cancelled on a date on me huge red flag he was always super last minute super bad at replying to messages and like plans and stuff and

I always felt like I'd never knew if I was going to see him or not um and then he goes oh I'm really busy with work um I felt he didn't reply to me for ages and then I was like, what's going on? And he said, oh, I'm just really, really busy with work. I'm really sorry. I know that I need to explain this to you. So I remember now, the last time I saw him, I said to him, well, I see you again. Because it's weird.

It's like I had a feeling that I wasn't going to see him again. And I said to him, am I going to see you again? And he said, oh, of course you are. Guys, I never saw him again. and I think you can like listen to your gut like I don't know it's weird isn't it I just I know a lot of things in your gut and obviously you only actually realise that those things are true

afterwards like the event has to happen but even with the most recent guy I was dating when I told you about that he messaged me saying he's exclusive with someone else I had a feeling with him but I wasn't going to see him again and that's what I mess with a friend about it after our last date where I was like, I don't know if I'm going to see him again.

I think I've got this fifth date curse and it was true. But yeah, I was completely obsessed with Mr. 6'7, like, I think because I've been on so many me dates that when I met someone from the apps that I finally had chemistry with, because you're meeting these people, you don't know what they look like, I don't know how you're going to feel in my life. finally I meet someone and there's a chemistry I got so excited by it and like he seemed nice enough

I was overlooking the red flags and looking at the green ones just like you know good job you know sort of at his own like self-employed kind of thing like quite like entrepreneurial obviously very good looking good banter um I was into the green flags which there weren't many but six foot seven

was kind of counted for like 100 green flags um and some reason i just had it in my head of like oh things going well this will be it like surely we're going to like get together no no guys i got too far ahead i experienced what i now know is called limerance which i think it's just when you like it's kind of like lust i guess like you get a bit ahead of yourself you get really into someone um and you're kind of like just getting ahead of yourself like i did not know the guy like we went on more like five dates and I'm already thinking so ahead to like oh it's going really well I think we're going to end up together like I got too ahead of myself and for what

because I'm now I've had to open my phone to remind myself what actually happened and I remember that he was just so crap at text like I I'll now read our last message exchange okay so I text him the day before he didn't reply to me on the day i said hey haven't heard from you so i've assumed that we're not on for tonight hope you're okay he replied i'm so so sorry i completely missed this i know it's been very shit for me i owe you a proper explanation i've just been trying to get a lot done for work and i still haven't even started planning anything for my trip i will get back to you and we can see when it's more suitable for the both of us i replied saying thanks for apologising let me know I get things been busy for you of work.

I hope it's all going okay. I'll leave you be, and maybe we can resume things when things are quieted down with you from work. Guys, he never, ever wrote back to me ever again. What an asshole to say, I'll get back to you and find another time. Just say you're not feeling it

and that you don't like me, you're not interested. Then I can just move on. Like, don't leave me in this limbo or I don't know where I stand. and oh guys why do you do this so yeah anyway

that was Mr 6-7 or Mr Big he was I guess I've got to say Mr Big from Sex and City he wasn't really getting Mr Big carry energy I don't think I've got

carry energy some people have called me Carrie I don't know what sex and the city character I am I want to be Samantha, like, I'm trying to channel Samantha energy a bit more. I'm not sure if I am fully her. I don't know who I am. Maybe I'm Miranda.

What I might do next episode or in a future episode is do a quiz to find out which sex and cissy member I am and I love to hear yours as well. That's pretty much all I've got to say on Mississippi's 7 and being told. hope you enjoyed that. That wasn't the most exciting story time ever. It was just I dated someone who was massive and there wasn't really that much drama or anything to say about him. I do have more fun stories coming up but I guess that one which is in my mind as a bit of a conversation on height and dating and ghosting. Ghosting after five dates. So not on. But But there we are. Like I said, I'm a survivor. We're all survivors. And that is to help us

right by the community for you. Please write in. Let me know your survival stories of what you've been through as well. Okay, let's get into your questions and dilemmas. So, what are your thoughts on an exclusive relationship? I'm confused as to what they mean. I've come across this, both men and women saying they've both been in exclusive relationships. Even the guy I'm talking to told me he's had to. But what's the concept of that? I'm Eastern European. We don't really have that. Either you're meeting or dating or you're in a relationship. That's really interesting. Yeah. I think everyone's got different definitions of dating in a relationship, what it all means.

for me I feel like the process might be at first when you're dating you should be dating a few different people because if you're on the apps you could have like a few different first dates like scheduled up so if you've gone on the first date with someone you might have another first date with someone else scheduled because you know that's how it is and then I feel like when you like someone after if you've been on a few dates of them you would then go exclusive with them which means that you would stop going on first dates or second dates with other people you kind of just zone in that one person then you're just one to one dating that person getting to know them and then if things go well you would go into a relationship that's how i understand it to be but i know some people kind of like don't believe in multiple dating multiple people to start with so i guess for some people you would be exclusive already from the beginning as you're getting just no one person um i think having the exclusive dating chat is important to clarify. I've been burnt by that very recently where I just assumed like after five dates, why would you be, how you even have the time to be dating me,

seeing me once a week and then how many other people are you dating? Like it's crazy. But yeah, I think it does vary by culture. So it's definitely good to like check in with people on what they mean by being exclusive. But that's my answer. What do you guys think about being exclusive? And What are your thoughts on it? I've got a letter here that's made me a bit sad, but I'll read it out anyway. What do I do if I'm totally undaatable? After 14 years of being open to try and find a relationship, I'm finally giving up and throwing in the towel. I'm officially undatable.

I'm going to be 30 soon, and most men seem to prefer younger women. It's clear that I'm ugly and too big. My mum seems to be the only person. and who thinks I'm pretty. If I was pretty, I would have friends and a boyfriend. My life would be so much easier. The other day, I saw a girl get approached by three men in the span of 10 minutes, and they all asked her for a number. I was really jealous. If only I was thinner and younger. I've got zero friends and no relationship. How do I get my mind of being lonely? I do a lot of reading, but I wanted something else. I'm trying to study, and I'm trying to focus on my career.

but I'm really lonely. Any tips? This made me feel sad, but thank you for writing in and thank you for expressing your emotions and sharing where you're at. It's really hard. I can imagine, you know, 14 years of trying to date and not finding anyone. That is super hard. And it's really brave. People underestimate how difficult it is to keep putting yourself out there and face rejection and deceit of people getting romantic attention and that's something you want and you mention being lonely as well so there's kind of two separate issues here one is

friends like having female friendship other is dating now I feel like let's think about the friends one first that might be easier because I feel like think about what are your hobby are. Have you got any, you mentioned like reading. How about joining a book club? This could be a great way to meet friends. Once you start making, and, as you know, lovers as well. You can have a little meet you at a book club. How fun would that be? But anyway, thinking about the friend's side of things. Going to a book club, you've got a shared interest. You've got kind of a goal that keeps you on track as well if you're reading. And you have a nice little discussion. If you're an introvert as well, the book becomes like, it's a talking point. So it's a bit easier to make conversation through

the book. I personally had been in book clubs and stuff. And I used to run a feminist book club actually. And I love book clubs. You get really great conversations out of them and you know, you can meet people with similar interests. So that would be my top tip for you girl. Join a book club. You're going to meet friends through that. And I only say that because you mentioned reading in your letter. You might have other hobbies and interests as well where you might want to to meet someone through that. So taking the pressure off romantic relationships for now, even though I get that's what you want, but I think once you have some solid friendships as well, it becomes easier to

navigate the journey into romantic love and to go through those ups and downs or trying to find someone, at least you've got your solid friendship group to back you up, okay? and you don't want to get into relationships someone and have no friends. That's going to be lonely as well. Like your partner can't be everything in your life. You need to have your friendship group. So that's my top tip for you, girl.

Like, at first, focus on finding friends. I'm becoming happier. I'm sensing a lot of unhappiness here. Like, you know, it's hard to say, I think as women are quite self-deprecating about our looks and there's a lot of pressure, but I'm sensing from the lesser that you don't feel happy with the way you're living your life and who you are and that's a really difficult place to be

in a difficult place to find your partner. I think when you find your partner you're going to be like I love myself. In the words of RuPaul, if you ain't going to love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anybody else? And that is so true. You have to love yourself first. So right now, focus on making yourself happier. And it sounds like one of those things would be finding friendship, could be finding a new hobby, could be changing up the way you look, like maybe there's something you wanted to try with fashion or whatever it is, make yourself happy, like make your life so good. I saw a really good quote the other day. This quote, you're actually going to die, was from someone's hinge profile. But let me read it out to you

because it rang true. Is this someone who came up on my hinge, you know, like what are they called the candidates. I don't know how to describe them. Okay. If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they will fly away. But if you spend your time building a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. Now, this man had this on his hinge profile, as one of his like quotes. Is that a red flag? I don't know. Let me know if it's a red or green flag. I'll read it out again. If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they will fly away. But if you spend your time building a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you. Now, I do like that concept and I agree with that concept. Like, that's my mantra. Like, and I've proven that to be true last year where I was trying

so hard to find my partner. Couldn't find it. So instead, the mantra of it and chasing, like, focus on making your own life amazing. And then the right men, the right friendships, everything will just automatically attract to you. I do believe in that. But the reason, in why I wonder, I wasn't sure about the man having it on this profile, because I kind of feel like, well, I think you should be chasing. Like, the man does need to chase women a little bit. Do you know what I mean? Like, you want, you're going to build your house and your butterflies and you want me to chase you? Like, no. So, anyway, I agree, I agree with that quote, so much so that I screenshot it and I'm now reading it out to you. And that's my advice.

build a beautiful garden and the butterflies will come to you let me know how you get on and listeners please send in your advice as well help i swipe right at gmail.com or DM me help i swipe right if you have any thoughts on my advice that is all for today's episode thank you so much for listening if you enjoyed the episode tell a friend tell a family member tell your man i don't care basically just tell someone about the podcast and don't forget to leave a review if you're sitting on Apple Podcasts. I'll be back next Sunday as normal. I think we'll be having a guest episode next Sunday so stay tuned. Hope you enjoyed today and see you very soon.