Help I Swiped Right - Help I've Been Away at a Festival

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Hello Swipers!Sorry this episode is a little behind schedule...I have been away at a festival with no signal!In this weeks' episode I share tales from my weekend at Truck Fest and reveal my festival related icks before diving into your dilemmas.Next week will be an ick special! So send in the pettiest or funniest reason you got the ick to [e-mail],SJam x

Hello and welcome to another episode of Help I Swiped Right. Every week I'll be exploring the highs and lows of modern day dating culture, sharing fun stories for my dating past and answering your questions and dilemmas. There'll be new episodes every Sunday, so please do subscribe so you get the latest episodes as soon as they come out. now this week's episode is a little bit different so for transparency i was away at a festival last week and i did record an episode before i went away but i listened back to it to edit it before going away and i didn't like it and i didn't have time to record a new one and then when i was at the festival there was no signal whatsoever so i didn't i wasn't able to record a new one when i was away so yeah

bringing this to you slightly late now I'll end back home and yeah today's episode will be a little bit shorter I'll be sharing some tales from the festival I'll be showing my festival Ix and then I'll be answering your dilemmas and yeah I think next week I'm going to do an Ike special so this week I'll be doing festival Ix in particular but for next week please do send me your X and yeah it's special next week. So like I said, I've been away at a festival. It was called Truck Fest in Oxfordshire and just had the best time. I'm with a friend and we've not camped for ages.

So I was a bit nervous in advance, but we had nothing to be worried about. It was amazing. Great facilities at the campsite. Hot showers. We paid extra to have like the lot. luxury area, which basically doesn't mean you've got showers. In the normal camping ticket, there was no showers. So you're like, oh, I think we can need showers if we're going to be away for like four days. So paid extra for that. And it was so worth it. We had a great time.

Just really good atmosphere at the festival. It was something for everyone. They had music, they had comedy, they had yoga and sound baths in the morning. They had the Oxford Symphony Orchestra on the Sunday. It was actually a highlight, surprisingly. There's videos on TikTok. I'll repost them on the Help I Swipe Right TikTok channel of people like moshing and crowd surfing to the orchestra. It was really fun.

So yeah, had the best time. And, yeah, there was no signal there. But I actually loved it. It allowed me to just be in the moment. No social media, just a break from the way. world living in this little festival land and it was just lovely. And yeah, the whole thing to remind me what's important life. Life is about having fun. It's about people. It's about being in the moment and enjoying the simple things in life. And yeah, it was just amazing. So sorry's

episode is coming to you late. Going forward, I am going to make every effort to release them every Sunday. I'm actually going to Ibiza this Sunday. So I'll make sure to cue the next episode up in advance before I go away. So yeah, when I was at the festival, I kind of thought, hmm, couldn't help but notice the odd ick and green flag as well. So I'm going to share with you my festival icks and my festival green flags. So, Ick number one, when men wear a towel and it's kind of wrapped around nipple height, so we're queuing for the showers in the morning. Okay, A, actually, cueing for the shower in itself, that's an ick. I ick myself out by being in this cue. Everyone else queuing in the

shower gave me the ick. So, yeah, men carrying their little toiletry bags, that icked me out. but in particular when I've seen a man like leave the shower area just with a towel sort of around underneath their armpits I don't know why but it gave me the ick I think it was just giving very feminine energy and it was an ick but then saying that in the same vein topless men also an ick so you can't win really but yeah it was nice weather and there were a few men quite a few beer bellies out and about at the festival and yeah that was it so's guys what are my other icks as well hmm sunburn huge ick i saw a lot of burnt people that were not wearing sun cream and like tan lines actually as well really severe tan lines that's giving ick as well as well as well as well as well as well, unfortunately. This one's very random. But in the crowd

for the next to bedding field, there was a guy just peeling a potato. That was an ick. That was strange. She was sat on this guy's shoulders and just holding a potato peeler. And no one knew what it meant. Everyone was staring. I thought, what's this potato peeler guy?

I don't know what that was about. We also went to a comedy tent and the warm-up guy was like can I get someone from the audience or volunteer to count to a language, to count to three in a different language? And this one guy who says, yeah, I can do it. Okay, what's your language? Binary.

Now, I still don't really know what this is. I think it's something to do with computers, but he was like 0-0-0-1, something like that. And everyone was just like, what are you going on about? So, yeah, that was a big it. Just pick a language. Like the other languages was like German, Greek, you know, things we all know. What is binary? He's trying to be different and isn't land. Okay, moving on, green flags, because there were some green flags at the festival. The first one being Milk-Froffer Dad. Now,

there's only one person out there who knows what I mean by that, and that is the friend I went to at the festival, and possibly the man himself in question. If you think you are, Milk-Froffer Dad, and you're listening to this, let me know, because because, yeah, I was putting a few help I swiped right business cards around at the festival, and I was wrapping the brand wearing my help I swipe right t-shirt as well on the Friday. So people might have seen me, and Milk Brother Guy was one of our camping neighbours. So, if you're listening, hello. So, milk proper guy, it was a green flag, basically, to be bringing a milk for a

with you to a festival to camp with. So this guy, he was of his daughter. He was an older guy, he's a dad. And he had a single dad, my ad, my ad from the looks of it. And he had a really nice camp set up. He had like really nice coffee with him. So he was making his own coffee every morning. And then I saw he had a milk frotha as well. And that just tipped me over the edge. I just thought, this is a level of organisation that I strive to be. This is a man who's going to look after you. This is Amaya's going to make your coffee in the morning. Even when you're camping, he's got all the little camping bits. That was very attractive. And then I see him washing the milk proffer with a little bottle by the 10. And that just put attraction level to

1,000. He's made a coffee for you with his little milk proffer. And then he's washing up the equipment as well. Just chef's kiss, green flags all the way there. I turned to my friend and I said, I'm getting turned on right now. It's the milk brother. It's him washing it. It's the thought of having a man that can look after you in that way. It was very attractive. And may I add as well, Dad Bod's, Green Flag.

So I did earlier on Slate Beer Bellies. I draw the line there. And also I think when you're in and amongst the festival, put a t-shirt on. But this man was just at, you know, in the campsite, possibly even just got up in the morning. He didn't have a t-shirt on and I didn't mind it. So dad boards green flag as well. Other green flags, I'm going to say, are literal flags. So at the festival, some people had fun flags and banners and fancy dress and I think all those things are green flags, just having fun, being creative, people that took the effort to make like creative banners and stuff for the bands.

Those are huge green flags for me. So, what do you think of my green flags and my icks? Let me know, guys. Like I said, next week I'm doing an ick special. So please send through the pettiest reason you got the ick or the funniest reason you got the ick. I would love to hear from you. I've actually got a response to last week's episode about when I asked a guy out over LinkedIn. I asked you guys, where's the weirdest place that you've asked

somebody out? And I did get a response to this that I really enjoyed. So, is there love at Tesco's? This person might have found out of Tesco's. So let me find this message. Okay, found the message. So I was in Tesco and I thought the cashier was cute. So I asked his, colleague if he was single. And when the colleague said yes, I fully hit on the cashier and I got his number. What came into me? Who knows? Will this go anywhere? I have no idea. Had I just rolled out of bed after an app by whence Tesco's? Yes. And I still have no idea why the cashier said yes to me. I'm still riding an adrenaline high. So if the ladies, if the apps aren't working, just hit on your cashier. I loved this message.

It made me smile and so true about they were getting out of just rolling out of bed and going into Tesco's I feel like it's always happens like you see someone hot and you think to self

oh god why do I like a troll right now this is like why this is the one moment that I do not look good and I don't feel good to approach someone because I'm not prepared

not got any makeup on but good for you girl I love this I just think confidence is so attractive and what I was talking about last week about I really want to approach someone in real life. So maybe a slammer in Tesco, if anyone's cute there, who knows?

So thanks for trying that message about the weirdest place you asked someone out. If you've got any stories about your funny in real life mute cute, please send them in to help I swipe dry at gmail.com. Right, let's dive in to your dilemmas. I think this could be my favourite part of the podcast. And hearing from you guys, you enjoy this part as well. So keep sending in your dilemmas. I love answering them and hearing from you. And you know, I'll always give you the honest truth or my honest opinion. I'm not going to shuncoat it. It is just my advice. So take it with Pinterest salt. You have to follow it. But very happy to talk through your dilemmas. So first one, I have been travelling around South America for the last few months. I met a guy that. lives in Brazil in March. We got on so well and I like him so much, well, I actually love him and we've seen it for multiple times since March. I'm currently back in Brazil again to see him

and doing some volunteering. I'm supposed to be coming home soon but I don't, but I really don't want to and leave him. I think the relationship could be something really great, but it would mean me moving here as that could be the best option for us both. It's a completely different way of life and one that I do like but don't know if it's even crazy to think about staying longer for him. It's only possible if I find the job here, I don't know if I'm being crazy and I should go back to normal life as my parents keep saying, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. You're swept up in a romance with a Brazilian guy and that's exciting. And it's fun being in love and so what, you've been together since March

so that's about four months but obviously in that time you've not always been in Brazil you've kind of been travelling South America and you've come back to Brazil to see him and things are going well at the moment and now you're thinking about staying there look not to sound a bit boring

and a bit like your parents but I think you should go back not forever even but like if your relationship has got foundations and it can last it will survive you going back to the UK for a few months even like you'd have to stay in Brazil forever you have to stay in the UK forever I'm just saying go home as planned get some perspective see how you're feeling when you're back in the UK and see if he can put the effort in And if you can put the effort in as well for a little bit, to, you know, be on FaceTime, whatever, and just see how things go for a temporarily long distance.

If you find that you're still really into him, then it can be thinking about, right, do you move over there or does he move over here? Or do you go and visit him again for a few more months? You know, whatever. I think it could be an idea just to come home as planned just for a little bit just to reset and time will tell if it's meant to be you can definitely move back there or he can see you or things can work but I don't think you need to stay in Brazil just right now and I know it's getting really hard to say goodbye to him and things like that but just keep reminding yourself that it was meant to be it will. Something will work out, but it's okay to go home and see your family and friends for a bit, and they'll be able to help you through this dilemma in this situation as well. So yeah, that's what I think. What do you guys think?

Email me, help I swept right at gmail.com. What would you do in this situation? Okay, next dilemma. I matched with a guy a few days ago. We seemed to have a lot in common, excited to meet him this weekend. Then he informs me, oh by the way, I don't look like this anymore. I've got a really long hair and a long beard now. I'm not that attracted to long hair or long beards.

I know that's superficial, but I can't really help what I'm attracted to. I'm not sure if I should be like I'm usually not attracted to long hair or beards, but I'll give you a shot or to say nothing or to cancel. I don't know. it's really annoying that his pictures weren't current. What would you do? I don't think so short at all. As you said, you like what you like. There's nothing wrong with that. And it's kind of crazy of him to have long hair and a long beard and do not have any pictures of him on his profile that look like that. That's wild. And also it's like, how old were the pictures on the profile

if he's got short hair in those to the point where he's now got a long hair and long beard. Like, do you know how long that takes to grow out? It's all a bit worrying. I think I'd ask for a face time with him. But you can make it flirty as well. You make it fun. Don't make it be like, oh, I want to see what you look like. Try to make it just like, oh, that sounds really cool. Like, can't wait to what you look like. I don't know if you'd like to have a little face time in advance because I don't think I can wait any longer to our date. You know, that sounds a bit more like enticing and he won't be more up for that but the long short of it is yeah like what earth does you look like would you even recognize him how are you going to you know when you say

meet me at this location how are you even going to recognize him and what's his WhatsApp picture how are you talking now are you talking on WhatsApp at the moment I've got a lot of questions here and yeah a lot of questions that you need to ask him as well possibly on the first date you know if you see him with the long hair and beard and you're like oh you look more attractive with the shorter hair how attached is he to this hair and beard is it just an experiment would he be willing to cut this off for you can you take him to the barbers or is he like no this is my new look and i love it i'm not changing it for anyone and if you don't find that attractive Yeah, it's just not going to work.

It's interesting. I mean, it could be hot. You never know. It could look really good. Or it could not. And the only way you're going to find that is if you see him. I think I'd go for the thrill of it, but you definitely have the FaceTime. So I'm quite concerned about how he even going to recognize him on this first date

in like a public place if you don't even know really what he looks like at the moment. So I'd probably do that and go for. from there, that is so funny. I had that before where I've seen a guy's profile and in some pictures they've got like a mustache and some they haven't and I've been like, what do you actually look like at the moment? Like what is the facial hair situation? I need to know because you look quite different in all of these photos. So yeah, that's wild. Good luck girl and hope he looks time real life. Okay, last dilemma. My ex doesn't want to lose me, but doesn't want to be with me either. What does this mean? When he said he didn't want to be with me, I said, okay, let's go no

contact and I'll block you, to which he said, I'd want to be invited to your wedding someday, whether it's with me or someone else. And I don't want this to be done forever. I told him, I'm not going to be his friend if we break up. And if we break up, it's over 100%. I'm not going to be reaching out. He doesn't like this and it's making him hesitant to break up with me for good. What does this mean? This is a mess.

He's making it a mess and you've got the power to stop making it a mess. Block him. Go back to your original plan. So he told you he doesn't want to. want to be with you and you've been like okay cool like well let's stop let's stop contact and now he's gone back to you and he said oh actually i i would like some contact and maybe i'm going to come to your wedding one day this is insane he's insane he's insane he's confusing i actually don't know what his deal is i'm not actually sure what he's trying to get out of this

it's some kind of control. He kind of just wants you there just in case he changes your mind. By doing this, he's stopping you from being able to actually move on. He wants to just linger to just be in your mind. No, no, no, no, no, no. Either someone wants to be with you or they don't. And if they need time and space to figure that out, then they need time and space to figure that out.

Give him the time and space. Like, don't be in touch to each other. um and if it's meant to be it will be but maybe you need like yeah a break of no contact whatsoever um yeah stick to your boundary stick to your guns you've already said what you want and what works for you don't worry about where his heads at that's kind of irrelevant to you i don't know what game is trying to play here but stick to your boundaries of what works for you that's my advice you did the right thing on no contact. That is the only way to process an X. And it doesn't have to be forever. I stand by that. Like, time can pass.

And after an appropriate amount of time has passed, maybe it could work to, you know, have some kind of friendship or it really depends on how the relationship ended as well as to whether a friendship can be formed. but for now in order just to like process it to heal you definitely need that no contact and him saying that I might be at a wedding one day whether it's with me or someone else that's an odd comment and it's confusing you don't need that in your life that brings us to the end of today's episode thanks so much for listening thanks for being with me and waiting patiently until

Tuesday for the release of this episode. Like I said, next episode will be out on Sunday. It's an Ick special, so please send me your Ix. Either DM me on Instagram, Help I Swiped Right, or email me at Help I SwipDrite at Gmail.com. Thanks again for listening and see you next Sunday.