Help I Swiped Right - Help I've Been Dumped!

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

Hello Swipers,Bringing you piping hot tea this week! Your girls been burned...It's ok it happens to us all sometimes! I am super vulnerable this week as I open up about my my latest dating flop.This isn't just a podcast...it's a dating app survivors club! I am out there in the trenches with you.PLUS...I tell you all about my recent trip to Ibiza!Please keep sending your dating questions and dilemmas to Help I Swiped Right on Instagram or [e-mail] of love,SJam

Hello and welcome to another episode of Health by Swipe Bright. Did you miss me? I have been away in Ibiza, but I'm back now. Barely, I'm back. Am I in bits and pieces? Yes. But I'm here and I'm ready to record another episode. Thanks for bearing with me as I'm a little bit late this week again because of all.

of their bea-tif-trip and then getting back from that trip and going straight into two birthday parties and then a Fred again concert. So love that for me. But yeah, this episode, we're getting real, we're getting raw, we're diving into some piping hot tea as I go into, yeah, hot off the press news on my dating life. Let's dive in. So fear not, guys, I will be going into the full story time on Ibiza later on. I need to just get this off my chest, I think, before I can even dive in to Ibiza. So prior to going on Ibiza,

I had been on five dates with someone, and I felt like things were going well. I felt like they were five fun dates, and we had agreed to see Jeffer again when I got back to Ibha. then he started getting a bit quieter on message when I was in Ibiza and I just thought oh that is a bit strange I was literally like am I being ghosted but I was confused because I thought the dates were going well anyway now he messages me oh um I've started seeing someone else and we've

recently decided to go exclusive I have so many questions here like how recent when the timeline when did you start seeing this person um when's recent when did you go exclusive with them like we've been on five dates and for me in my mind i'm not going to go on five dates with someone and then be dating other people i just can't do that it's confusing to me i don't know how people do it and yeah i'm getting very raw here guys i i made a promise to myself to not share current dating situations on the podcast because obviously I am you know if I want to get to know someone I want to get to know someone that they need to feel like I'm not going to be talking about them on the podcast so I will not talk about anything current on the podcast

I'm only showing this one as it has now ended so it's done um and even then you know obviously it's quite recent. This literally happened today and I'm showing this with you all. I think it's important for me just to be honest. I also wanted this podcast to be positive as well and I want it to be like hearted and fun and entertaining. But I do know that there are elements of dating that do just suck and we'll go for it. So people might be hearing my stories like oh, the Olympian and LinkedIn guy and whatever and all these fun things. But obviously, you know, I'm not always having a amazing time dating. I've definitely been through a lot of difficult dating experiences as well.

And being dumped or the other person kind of saying that they want to see you anymore because they've found someone else, that always stings. So I wanted to share this with you all just so you know that, you know, when you do go through that, you're not alone it happens and thank god for friends thank god for friends making you laugh picking you up remembering reminding you that you know that's just one person's opinion it's okay it obviously always sucks when you like someone you thought things are going well and you'd hoped to keep seeing them but um life is still good and everything's going to be okay but you've got to feel those feelings as well and that's what

I've done with my friends and that's what I'm doing with you all now. I'm sharing its experience I had where yeah thankfully I wasn't ghosted because honestly at one point I thought I was getting ghosted and I just thought no you can't ghost after five dates for someone that's unacceptable so he did rise from the dead only to tell me that yeah it's done he's seeing someone else. So that's my latest tea. You know, I was having a good experience dating him up until that point. Like, when I look back, I can't think of anything wrong.

They were genuinely five really great fun dates. So, yeah, maybe just the timing of things as well. Obviously, I was away in Ibha for a week before about dinner festival. so that's where things could have stalled a bit and he might have met someone else but still like yeah I was about to say if you like someone you would just you know that's not a long time so clearly he didn't like me enough that I was the only one um so it does sing a bit what do I do now I don't feel like I want to date just right now. I think I'm going to keep focus on the podcast and keep having Hot Girl Summer.

And we'll just see where it goes. And like I said, if I do start dating again, I'm not going to be talking about it on the podcast live. Hopefully the next person I date, things might go a bit better and they won't be anything to share in the podcast. But of course, once something's ended in the past, and if I have any fun experiences to share, I'll let you all know, don't you worry. So, yeah, that was me. I don't know.

The other thing that came up, I suppose, from this is the question of exclusivity. What does that mean to you? At what point when you're dating, do you become exclusive? and when do you talk about it? Like, should I have been dating other people? For me personally, I just can't. It gets too confusing. I just want to get to know one person.

You know, initially, you might, let's say in a week, you might have like two first dates lined up. So that's obviously fair enough. But after three dates for someone, in my opinion, you kind of know, like, if I want to see them again, why would I also be going on like a fourth date with someone else? To me, that's crazy. I really don't get it.

Apparently, that is what people are doing. That's clearly what he was doing. And a lot of people say that. They give the advice. Don't put your eggs in one basket. You should get to know of people, but I find it confusing. What do you guys think about the whole exclusive thing and timelines? At what point do you think you should become exclusive?

Do you believe in exclusivity just, you know, from the start? Because I'm getting to know someone. I'm getting to know someone. Let me know your thoughts. Obviously, DM me, help I swiped right, on Insta. Or send me an email, help I swiped right, d'emol.com. We'd love to hear your thoughts. And I hope you appreciated that very hot off the press, dating update.

Your girl's going through it. It's never nice to get that text when someone that you thought things were going well with. Doesn't, you know, quite feel the same way. I mean, he wasn't horrible at all. it was a nice message. He did say, you know, really had a great time with me, thinks I'm a great person, so, you know, just one of those things. It's not always going to go your way,

and it's definitely okay to take a break from dating at times and focus on other fun things in your life. And yeah, that allows me now to move on to the next part of this podcast, the full Ibiza story, because a time was had. I had the best time out there. So forget this guy. I don't have a nickname for him. He's just going to be that guy, Mr. Five Dates.

Oh, it's the thing I was going to bring up. I think I've got a curse. I think I've got a five date curse. I was saying it to someone before that I've not been on more than five dates with someone. for ages. Maybe like over a year. It's kind of like recently the most amount of dates I've got to of one person has been five and then you're not seeing them anymore. Does that mean anything? Do I need to go and get a curse lifted? Do I need to go and see a witch to remove this curse? Have you guys experienced some sort of dating curse before? Am I cursed? Let me know. If you are a spiritual

person or some kind of healer, please do get in touch. I think I do need a cleanse and a reset. So, yeah, please write in. Help by swept rat at gmail.com. And now, about further ado, Ibitha. Okay, now for the fun bit of the podcast, I have just got back from the best holiday ever to Ibiza. So fun fact about me. I've been Tai B for seven times. I absolutely love it. I went for the first time when I was 21 after uni and that was it. I just found love of it there and then I just knew I was going to keep coming back and I tried to go back most years. One year I even went twice. And then obviously of COVID there's a bit of hiatus, you know, the COVID years. But yeah, I've been seven times and it's my spiritual home. It's not for everyone, obviously, I get that. But if you love music, if you love dancing, you're going to love it. It's the best place to party in the world, in my opinion. You cannot compare anything to it, the culture there.

Like, on Sunday night, I went to a Freda going gig in London, and it was amazing. But the vibes are just not the same vibes as Ibiza. and London is obviously one of the best places in the world to party as well but nothing compares there's something about the atmosphere there and the people that are there and the clubs the DJs that just makes it and people say that Ireland's got a magnetic energy and a magnetic force that always pulls you back and I think that's true it's a very special place

and it's a beautiful island as well with all the partying as well. It's got stunning beaches. And obviously I've been there so many times now. Like I know, like, what restaurants I want to go to. And there's places that I look forward to visiting again. And I just love it. So we went for a friend's 30th birthday.

I think that's also why it's one of the best trips there ever, because we're celebrating a birthday. We're also kind of celebrating all of us, like being in our 30s and just women in their 30s, living it up, us being the hottest best versions of ourselves in this decade. And I think as well we learned from the past, like when I look back to when I was 21, first time there, you know, I can't believe how much I would have gone out and how much I drank looking back. I think I was drunk the entire time. And that's fine, you know, do what you want to do. You know, should live

your life. If you want to be drunk, pretty for something and I'd be further, then absolutely go for it. And of course, I was 21. So that's, that's kind of normal. But it's really nice now being older and kind of it was the perfect balance of we had time to chill. We were still partying. We were still

raving. It was a perfect balance trip and it just flew by. I can't believe how quickly it went. I really want to go back for closing parties. Like, I just feel it in my soul that I need to go back there one more time this year before it all ends.

So what did we get up to? We went to O Beach, of course. Now, this is controversial. Of course, O Beach. This is Wayne Lineca's Beach Club in San Antonio. And, you know, you might know it if you don't know it already. It's all the orange and white sunbeds and stuff. You know, it's quite an infamous, iconic place.

And it's very love-hate. Some people say, oh, it was like the whole of Essex was there, turkey teeth and all that. But it's very British as well. It's basically like complete British takeover. But we did meet some Swedish guys in O Beach. So the very few non-Britz there, we found them. We made friends. I did give them my podcast business card.

So if you're listening, hello, shout out to you guys. You're a lot of fun. I gave out quite a few business cards actually in O Beach I don't know what came over me obviously I was day drinking and feeding the love and I thought this is a business opportunity it's not just pleasure I'm here of business

I bought my business cards with me to O Beach I'll put some pictures up on the help I swiped Instagram I was networking okay it was professional so I hope I don't know if anyone got my business card the No Beach and you're listening now. Hello, welcome. Special shout out to you. I was giving out a few cards in Ibiza over the trip. You know, I wanted to do a lot more promotion than what I did,

but I got carried away enjoying myself and I forgot. So I didn't do as much podcast promotion as I hoped to do. But when I met people and if I was chatting to them just organically, I just spoke about the podcast. So yeah, I didn't really go as hard as I wanted to on the promo. But, you know, you're enjoying yourself it's a holiday after all after all and um at the best time so you met those Swedish people in o beach that was fun we are then stomping home say stomping home we are then stomping after o beach to get dinner so o beach is kind of like on the marina in san Antonio and you can walk along that going back down to our hotel and we'll blasting Skepter and Fredigan Victory Lap, their new song, obsessed of it.

And then we saw Skepter was playing in High and Universe, I think as well, I'm like, oh my gosh, we have to go and see Scepter, Skeptor and I beef, that's crazy. We ended up not going because we got too carried away in 5 to 8, another club venue. We didn't make it. Little did I know, I would end up seeing Fred again. and Skepter performed that live on Sunday back in London. So thank God it's all meant to be. I got really lucky there because I thought, oh, I've been a Skepter.

But he actually ended up performing literally 20 minutes from where I live back in London on the Sunday. So that was amazing. See, that was the O Beach Day, fun times. Other little fun stories from Ibiza was 5 to 8. So this used to be called Zoo Project. And now it's called 5 to 8. And it's an outdoor venue, like, in the hills, sort of near San Antonio, but very, like, uphill. And it's really cool. I loved it. It's been my favourite night because I liked how it was outdoors at first, from, like, 6 to 11.

It's open air. And that kind of added to making it just a really fun atmosphere, this, like, open air club. Then after 11, it moves into, like, a small disco, which again, I loved. I loved, it was hot in there. but I did love how intimate it was and it wasn't a super club, it was this tiny little room and it was a great atmosphere, great friendly atmosphere in there. And that night, I met this guy who came up to me and just said, your glasses, it's like infinity, you know, the logo eight, infinity, never ending. Guys, I have to show you these glasses. They were just normal glasses.

So he was seeing stuff for sure But he was hilarious Made lots of friends that night I said it was really friendly atmosphere Met really fun French lady He was fabulous And we were dancing together And met a couple who just got engaged

And like before And yeah Really really fun vibes in 5 to 8 We left when it closed 4am Got a cab back down to Sanan And some chips Actually, the world's worst chips, I have to say. I was desperate.

Obviously, we arrived about 8pm to this party, and then we've left at 4 a.m. I needed something to eat. So I went to, you know, probably the world's worst kebab shop in San Antonio and got literally the world's worst chips. They were almost inedible, but I was desperate. I had to eat something. So that was 5 to 8 night. Another top memory from the trip.

probably has to be Pasha. I think this is my third or fourth time going to Pasha. I love it there. It is such a special place. And we went for Defected and it was just amazing, amazing DJs. It was Grieve Armada, Monkey, Sam Devine. It was iconic.

Oh, sorry, I'm not telling this story well. I'm just kind of flowing. Five to eight, the outdoor venue, we saw Confidence Man, which is so different for Ibiza, they are actually singing like a live performance and then at night after it was in a disco it was a Confidence Man DJ set but Confidence Man the energy they brought was so fun if you don't know them go and look them up but Confidence Man they do these insane dance routines that are kind

of like Ross and Monica from Friends they're so fun so much energy so yeah that's just a great night. But back to Pasha, it was Monkey, Sandvine and Grimada headlining. Just amazing. The atmosphere in Pasha as well, it was so good because Pasha, it's not too big. I've seen Universe, the new place, and when I see the videos, it just looks massive. It looks really overwhelming. I do want to check it out. And even high, the main room and high, It's really like long. That's how universe looks to me, but bigger. I say the Pasha main room is more like fat.

It's wide. And I quite like how it curves round. So you can be standing like more by the edge. And it still feels like you're kind of close to the DJ still. And I don't know. This is a very technical point I'm making. But the layout of Pasha, I think, adds to the vibes and making it a really fun place to dance and have a great night out. Sorry, this whole episode, this whole segment

is very niche and if you want to bea at all, you might find this really boring. For my Abifa lovers, you know what I'm talking about. And for anyone that's been thinking about going to Ibiza, go, just go, just try it. There's something for everyone and even if you don't want to party, there's a lot of fun things to do there, but I do recommend you try at least one party because why don't? Day party, go to a beach club, or Ashwaya could be a good one because that's on sort of like six till midnight, I think. So that's a very popular one. But Pasha, we left at 6am. So we had the best time. We probably got there for what quarter to 2 and then left at 6 and it was amazing. And in Pasha, I met a really cool group from Amsterdam or from Netherlands and I was intrigued by them so they're all different ages and I was chatting to them I asked them like where you guys from blah blah and they said oh yeah we're father and son I was like no way imagine going out clubbing with your dad like that is so fun um and then

they brought their friends along with them as well so like the dad put some of his friends with him the son brought his friend with them and they were all raving together I was like this is amazing So they were a really fun group. Love meeting them. So, yeah, in some, we just had the absolute best time. Now, there is something here. I'm a little bit hesitant to share. But here we go.

So basically, one of the guys in that group, this Netherlands group, I said, we're all getting on really well, chatting away, blah, blah, blah. One of them's like, oh, do you want to hang out tomorrow? And obviously, at the time, when I'm partying, having the best time, I'm like, yeah, of course, let's be up tomorrow. Anyway, we do actually meet for lunch the next day, even though I'm obviously, I'm like, death's door. But I felt bad.

I was like, oh God, we agreed to me. And I was like, sure, whatever, like, we'll just get some lunch. That's fine. So met up. And in my head, I just thought it was friends. Now, again, I think I've got a problem here where in general, I always think that it's just friends. I've been here before where I never get the vibe.

if people like me or not, I just think it's friendly. Unless they're being overtly flirty, it just wasn't. So you're having lunch, which I just thought, was a chilled, we're meeting up, talking about last night, etc. But no, I think it was a date, and I didn't realise that. So, sorry. I'm bad at knowing that. I've been here before.

I've been on an accident date before. This was years ago. with someone who we were friends like from uni and he was like oh let's meet up in this food market I was like yeah great sounds good again food market is giving friendship but then on the quote unquote date he's offering to like pay for stuff and I was like why are you offering to pay for something that's the only clue I had that it was a date up until that point I just thought we're friends so anyway same with this guy from Pasha I just thought we were friends but I think he saw it in a more romantic way. So here's my question to you guys. How do you know if someone

likes you as more than a friend? And like, can men and women just be friends? You know, has it always got to be a date? Why can't we just be friends hanging out? Let me know. Let me know your thoughts on this. And also let me know, have you been to Ibiza? Send me in your favorite Ibha memories, send me in your favorite saucy ibitha moments. Like if you've had any fun dating experiences in Ibha, I haven't really, which is why there's a podcast which has been about my general experience out there because I just love it. I love music. I love dancing. I love meeting people, but I think in my head it's always just friends, chatting to people, that kind of vibe. I'm not going there.

for that but obviously people do so send me your iB for stories thanks for since iB for story time haven't got any holidays booked as of yet i'm trying to get a lot more regular with the podcast going forward she said so yeah hope you enjoy that story time on to your dilemmas i've only got one dilemma this week so this is a huge reminder and plea to keep sending me your dilemmas. Please email me, help I swipe right at gmail.com, or DM me on Instagram, help I swipe right. So these can be any questions you've got any about dating.

If you need any advice, if you want me to send a text to a guy and you're not sure I to word that text, if you want any help with your hinge profile, your prompts, hinge openers, let me know I'm here for you so yeah email me I need to hear from you because I said I've got one dilemma this week before I go into that dilemma I'm going to start off something that came up on my TikTok for you page about a new dating trend so listen to this

a new dating term has just dropped it's called getting Shrek it's when you've been absolutely traumatized by a man that either looks like Shrek himself or Lauren Far apart so getting Shrek We're not just getting ghosted anymore, we're getting Shrek. So, yeah, have you been disrespected by someone who looks like Shrek himself? I think it happens to us all, doesn't it, girls? I mean, guys, I don't know. You can let me know if there's an equivalent for you.

But I think we'll do this. Sometimes you're like, oh, yeah, I can look past that about him. more, he's got a great personality, da-da-da-da-da-da, and you're like, hang on, I've just let myself get disrespected by someone who's medium-ugly at best. Why do we do it? Don't do it to yourself. And my friend sent me for something really funny as well that was like, you're not good looking enough to act like this. That's a bar, that's a line that I'm going to start using. So, yeah, new danger. getting shracked. Let me know your thoughts on that. Right, now into the dilemma. Okay, here we go.

My boyfriend's entire explore page on Instagram is naked women. I'm not a jealous type at all, and usually I wouldn't even care about something like this. But I do find it odd. What do you think? Okay, I'm not entirely sure what the explore page on Instagram is. I am a TikTok. Girlie. I don't really watch Instagram Reels, but I presume is the Explore page a bit like the few page on TikTok.

And I'm assuming as well it is based on like your algorithm. These apps know what you like. They know your boyfriend like's naked women. Therefore they're showing that to him. Now, on the one hand,

obviously yes, your boyfriend does like naked women. Like In one way, that's a good sign. Obviously, he's straight. He's attracted to women. Men are quite simple. That's what he like. That's why he's getting seen it.

But I don't know. I've never looked at a man's explore page before. I don't know what's normal to be on there. I can see how it would make you feel a type of way, you know, looking at that and he's just looking at those are naked women. I agree it's not a nice thought. It's a bit of an it. But part of me is thinking, is that just men?

men please write in do it anonymously what does your explore page on Instagram look like I'm going to look at mine right now if I can figure out what on earth this is so I'm going to guess that this is when you go to your

when you click on the sort of magnifying glass bit is like your explore page okay mine is um oh sorry that's loud mine is the first one is oh this is someone that I really know so I don't know why she's popped up and explore

There's this influencer who's all about like body positivity and like dangerous positivity. She's popped up. The next one is Victoria Beckham. Cool. Next one is, oh, I know this girl. This girl is like a running influencer. Showed us some flowers. That's a nice photo.

Next one is Dornow Porter. So these are all people that I know. Is my explore page working in the right way? Don't actually follow those people to be first. Maybe it knows that they're people that I like. I don't get to follow them I love doing a reporter and how I'm at this to my husband

that's popped up hello maybe it is listening and now I've got like tattoos I'm not a tattoo person and that's come there six weekend habits actually restore your energy and I've got

Stacey's Solomon as well on Carl Cox yeah mine is random I don't know what on earth my Instagram thinks about me but clearly your boyfriend is just naked ladies look I mean basically your man likes to look look I'm probably not just look at naked ladies

I don't like it is it it would be nice if he had other interests as well or I didn't swim I don't know I don't think you told him I don't think I'm usually my answer is talk about it in this case it's not because that is like a private thing on his phone and he might find that a bit invasive. But if you don't like it, think to yourself how much of that is a red flag for me. Is it to the point where you're like, I don't want to be with someone who's like this? Or are you just like a little bit intrigued by it?

Like, I don't know. It's a very personal thing. Guys, girls, everyone, let me. me know what's on your Instagram Explore page. I'm now really curious. Please screenshot me your Explore page and send it to me. Help I Swiped Right on Insta.

That's it for today's episode. Please remember to rate and review the podcast even if I'm already. I'll really be so grateful if you can take just one minute to leave a rating, write a little review, spread the word, share above us so that we can grow this beautiful community. See you next Sunday for more dating tales.