Help I Swiped Right - Help...There's a New Way to Date!

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

In this weeks ep I am joined by the creator of new single events platform, Date Wildly. With Date Wildly, you meet first, match later. No filters. No awkward small talk. Just real people, meeting in real life and matching after.I sit down with Jema to discuss dating culture, dating in London and why we are both ditching the apps. We discuss our new years dating resolutions and answer your dating dilemmas.Take a look at the latest Date Wildly events and sign up at DateWildly.com

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Health High Swiped Right. I'm your host, S-JAM, and this week I'm joined by Gemma, creator of Date Wilde. Super excited to have Gemma on the podcast this week as we're going to talk through how she created Date Wilde, and also answer some of your dating questions and dilemmas. So, Gemma, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. Great to be here. Thank you for having me.

I'm very excited to chat. Thank you so much. Please have you on. So I connected with Gemma a while ago through, I went to one of the first date wildly events, actually, I think, did I? It was a dream. Yeah, just a drink social. So I think I came across Date Wildly on Instagram and it looked like a really good idea.

So I invited some friends to come with me to, just like a singles mixer. and then ended up chatting to Gemma on Instagram to hear a bit more about the date wildly, like inspiration and where it's going. So yeah, Gemma, great to hear from you if you can tell us all a little bit more about date wildly. Sure, yeah, it sort of came from a place that I feel is needed as a single person who's been single for sort of most of my adult life on and off. I've been on most of the apps. I've been on a lot of the platforms, you know, from like my single friend back in the day, which is probably still going to like all the ones that are on now. And I've sort of fallen in and out of love with them and, you know, had some successes, a lot of failures. And but then this whole rise in sort of singles events is happening sort of over the last couple of years. And there's been a lot of success in that. People want to connect more. So I've been going to more of those sort of in person events. I've always felt like something was missing from those.

There are loads of really good ones out there, but when I go to those events, I sort of feel like I'm really bad at passing on my number or telling someone that I'm into them. And I imagine other people are too. I don't think I'm the only person. So I sort of wanted to create something that allowed you to be able to go to an event

and then connect with people afterwards, but in a way that it felt familiar. So I've sort of created this sort of ticketing platform, date wildly, you go to the event, buy ticket to an event, and then the next day after the event, you can match by swiping left or right with everyone that was at the event the night before. For me, that's like a way to just really help you connect with people that you've either spoken to you early on in the evening but didn't get a chance to give your number or you saw

across the room. You liked the look of them, which you can get much more of a sense from by seeing them in person versus a picture online. you may not have had a chance to speak to them. So it's like an extra opportunity to connect with people after the event. But at the same time, the other thing that it offers, or my sort of aspirations for it, is that there are so many singles events out there at the moment, all saying that they're the best ones out there, they're all quite expensive, so it's a commitment. And so for me, it felt like overwhelming that there were loads of different ones coming at me on Instagram,

just, I don't know which ones to go to. And there was no one place to find them. Also, the aspiration for date wildly is that it's a singles events platform and where all singles events are just on that platform. So if you're a single person, you go there, that's your destination to find the right kind of dating for you, the right kind of event, the right kind of people, whether it be around like a sports club or drinks or a dinner. So in the future, I'm building it. It's sort of in its early days. And we've had, as you say, we've had a few socials, date wildly socials and a few partners that. I've worked with for sort of dinners and different kinds of events, but the aspiration is that it's the one place that you go as a single person. And with the result of ideas, but it's been built for single people, essentially, well, essentially for myself, but for single people as well.

So it's you as a single person, it's easier for you. So you have one place to go and you have an extra way to connect after the event. You just have to be the person that puts yourself out there to go to that event, which is becoming more of a thing, as I say, but there is still that you have to put yourself out there. But I think making it easier and more fun is the sort of main objective so that we can actually enjoy dating while we're single, rather than, rather than it being just just like a long old slog, which it often is for a lot of people and quite scary sometimes. So as much as we can give a helping hand, I've created it for myself, but also for the wider single sort of group. Yeah, such.

That was long winded, wasn't it? That was such a good, I said, such a good idea. And I related to a lot of what you were saying there about the feeling of giving, going up to me giving my number, like, the thought of that makes me just cringe as well. So can relate to that. And I said, I've been to one of the date wildly events and it was really cool how you're afterwards the next day you can see everyone who's at the event, men and women, which is super helpful, that you said.

Sometimes you might want to connect with other like people of your own gender, like you connect with on a friendship way. And then seeing all the guys as well and you could just swipe left or right, super easy. So if there's anyone he wants to connect with, but you didn't get a chance to speak with them, you could still connect with them afterwards if they liked you as well. So it's a good idea because I've had, I've been to a couple of like in-person dating events and sometimes they're so big there could be like 100 people or people or more there. And there might be someone that like caught you caught your eye or you have like a very

brief chat with kind of thing, but you didn't get the chance to speak to them properly. So at least through the date wildly platform, you could still like connect with them. Exactly. Yeah. And I just really believe in meeting people in real life to know whether you're into them. I think that's one of the big downfall, well, there's many downfalls of the apps. One of the big ones is you just don't know until you meet somebody whether you ride with them. And You just can't know from a picture and there's so much you can do to a photo these days. So I want to meet people in real life. I know that the majority of the people that I've met that I've really connected with

or actually dated have been people that I've met in real life. And I probably wouldn't have swip right on an app, you know, because it's based on connection. It's not based on a face or a line on a hinge profile. So for me, it's so important that you can see, at least see or meet that person beforehand. And then you flip it on its head. match with the people when you know if you fancy them or not. So it's for me that's the right way around. And having spoken to a lot of people, they sort of agree that that is a better way of

doing it. But yeah, because date wildly is new, the idea is I just want to get people trying it and letting me know if it is, you know, a better way of dating. But connection is all about connection, really. Yeah. No, that's so true. I can think of an occasion actually last year where I matched with someone on Hinge, we're messaging and voice-noting a lot. And I was really excited to go on this date with him. I was like, wow, we get on so well. It felt like we really connected. And then on the date, there just wasn't a vibe.

There just wasn't a romantic vibe. And our conversation felt a bit stillward, even, which is weird. And we were talking so much beforehand. But yeah, it was so disappointing. It was just like, oh, you're not who I thought you were going to be. Yeah. Yeah, and that's, I think the excitement of the apps is that there's like so many people out there and you can see all of those people that are single. You get excited about those conversations that you're having with someone when you sort of click.

But I think you can quite easily have, I mean, not always, but just because you can have a conversation with someone on text or voice notes, just still, as you say, doesn't equate to you actually fancying each other when you get there. So, and it builds up such an idea of somebody before you've met them, which I just think is that just completely the wrong way around. So, yeah, that's why I created it just because as people are being braver and putting themselves out there a bit more at these events, I think they just need a little helping hand and connecting afterwards. Yeah, no, I think it's fantastic. And I think it's exactly, we are seeing this move away from dating apps and into wanting

to date and meet people in person because exactly what you said, you need that real connection rather than looking at people on the screen and the endless messaging, the endless swiping. We're definitely seeing, I think, a rise of dating events and a lot of people wanting to try and create new different type of dating events, which I think it's really exciting. Yeah. Yeah, agree. And also, as you say, that it's so important to meet people who are in the same sort of life stage as you, I think particularly as you get older. And singles events were a really good opportunity to do that. I know I've made loads of great female friends from singles events that have more time than a lot of my friends who have kids and partners. So it's so, so nice to have them

as part of my sort of 2025, 226 life, like that dating, going into that dating world with sort of people that I know are in the same space as me. And I'm so I'm hoping that date wildly sort of also offers that opportunity for you to sort of build relationships with people, not just romantic connections, but sort of friendship connections as well. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I remember now actually at the date while the event I went to, I was a little bit antisocials. I did bring true friends with me. So then we're kind of using it more as like a sort of catch up for us as well as mingling. But I do think going to dating events by yourself is the way to go actually. And then you're going to be more likely just to meet a whole bunch of new people.

I went to a board of dating apps running event. Oh yes, it could have been two years ago. Run club event, yeah. Raya ended up meeting a girlfriend who, you know, she lives in North London so we didn't even like meet up. But we just stayed in touch over WhatsApp and even just messaging her and being able to like give each other like support and share like our dating tales and everything. I just found that so helpful.

because again, I don't know if you're fans at the dating event, sometimes the ratio would be like a lot more women than men, so it feels like you're more likely to connect with a woman anyway. Definitely, yeah. I mean, there's this whole, it's probably a whole other podcast, but there's this whole thing about, you know, women's tickets set out much more quickly than men. And I know that there's a lot, probably a lot behind that.

But yes, there's usually quite a lot more women at a lot of these events. And I think that's also a reason why, it's helpful to have this connection piece after the event with the swiping because you when I'm not a sort of somebody that would proactively go up to like every man in the room that I think is attractive and if there's you know 25% men then you're gonna you have those more confident women who will go up to those men and so I I very rarely get a look in if it is that sort of ratio which is fine like I think mass. of kudos to those women who have that confidence to go up to people. And I do wish I was a little bit more like that. Maybe 2026 is my year. But I think it's important to be able to have that additional connection option because you might have made eye contact with someone,

but they were being, you know, they're in a conversation with someone else for like most of the evening. So I think it's hard to get around those 25% of men when there are so many more women there. So yeah, I think helpful to have that, but also for the friendship. Because, yeah, as you say, I've made a lot of great friends through singles events. And boda events are ones that I've met quite a lot of women, which has been great. Yeah, no, that's really good. I think we should make that our new news is a release in general to go and approach someone. You should say, I have never approached anyone.

It's really bad. For years, it's been on my like bucket list. something I want to do and I still haven't done it. I half did it last year, which was I did it via LinkedIn, which I don't think counts. I chickened out. I need to do like a real life asking someone for their number. I still just haven't done that in my life. And it's just like, I feel like once you've done it, you'll be like, oh, it's fine. It's the, I was asking my friends the other day, like, how would you chat someone up? I don't know. So, So I need to just practice really.

Yeah, and I think it is what you were saying before we started the podcast, that it's just practice just chatting to strangers. I think it's so important. It just builds your confidence. And I've done the same. I've done the odds LinkedIn or like message through a friend, ask out, which in itself I think is quite a big thing because you're still risking the rejection. But you're right.

Once you've done it once or twice, you're like, well, you know, no loss. It's a compliment to them. and, you know, if they're not interested, that's fine. I'll just ask someone else out. But so now we need to actually move towards asking people out in real life, or at least making an initial move at an event, I think. Yes. It's all good practice, isn't it?

Yeah, because at a dating event, it obviously feels like a much more safer space because you know everyone there's single and is looking to date, so it kind of feels a bit more safer. Whereas when you're truly like in the wild, just like at a bar, at a gym, whatever, You've got that like added layer of are they even single and, you know, all of that stuff on top of it. And like with LinkedIn guy, because we met at like a business networking event.

But I felt like there's a vibe between us and I was like, did I misread that vibe? So all I had was is LinkedIn to contact him afterwards. And I was still thinking about him a few days later. I thought, well, do you know what? Screw it. I need to just ask him out for a drink. But I remember being so nervous and even like crafting the message and chatting to my friends like, this is message to okay?

You're like, what should I do? And then it was fine. And did you reply? Yeah, he did. We were on a few dates. We dated last year. Things didn't work out in the end. But like, yeah, thankfully I didn't misread the vibe.

There was a vibe. But again, he said he felt nervous to ask me out. Like he didn't know how I felt and he didn't want it to be. be like, oh, am I hitting on her at like a networking thing? And she's going to be like, you know, whatever. So it's interesting actually, isn't it? Everyone feels that fear of that like not wanting to misread the signs. Yes.

And I think it's actually harder and harder for guys to know what's the right thing to do these days, which is why a lot of them don't do anything because I'm not a man so I can't speak for them. But I think it's very, because things have changed so much over the last sort of however many decades. maybe like it's not even been that many decades really, but they it's harder for them to approach a woman now. And so we need to probably take some responsibility in doing that. And the good ones will probably not ask you out for fear of offending, whereas actually, yeah, they're the ones that we want to ask us out. The other ones are still asking people out, but in the wrong way. But yeah, I think we need to step up and do a bit more.

as women actually to take the pressure off men a little bit now. I mean, there's a lot of conversation around all of this, isn't there? And the sort of gap between men and women these days and dating and all of that stuff, which again is a separate podcast. But I do think it's a fairly even playing field now in terms of both of us probably need to make the effort. And the events are a good space to do that. 100%. Like I've heard from guys, they're just looking for like a green light.

away and green light. So with the guy that I asked out, he was then like, oh, like she feels it. After that point, he then took the lead, which I was super happy about, because my worry is I don't want a guy to think me asking me out is then now I've got to plan everything. Like, no. So I was thankful that after that point, he then like plan the day. He just needed the green light that I liked him as well kind of thing. Yeah. So that that was good. But I think, I hate you saying, is that fear that we're all feeling, fear of objection, worry about offending someone or misreading the signs. And I remember we had a chat before about Date Wildy when you were kind of getting some initial thoughts on it.

And you were saying how the whole swiping after the event function was something that kind of like appealed to men. Yeah, I think, well, it's probably men and women, but I think when I've spoken to guys about it, and particularly some guys who work in the sort of men's mental health and dating space, they said like it, they think it will appeal to guys because it sort of takes that pressure off having to ask somebody out on the night. And I do think, and it's the same with women, but I think because traditionally men are the ones that are expected to make the move, I think it hopefully helps guys feel a little bit more comfortable in like getting to know people on the night,

but then you've got the swiping left or right. And, you know, it's still an element of like, you know, they might not swipe right on me, so we might not match. But it's less sort of an in-person reject. It's a bit softer, a bit kinder. But then I think people at these events, when you go to a singles event, you're going there with an open mind. And I think you have to have an element of like,

there needs to be a kindness about you in terms of people are there. They're putting themselves out there. And they're, you know, if they ask you out, if you're not interested in, then you need to be a bit of, be kind in the way that you respond to them because they've made an effort and they put themselves out there. And I think a lot of people are like that. But the swiping bit, yeah, just helps to soften that rejection or to the ads and excitement. The way I say it is it adds an excitement after the event of, you know, continuing the chat. I mean, there is people have also said, oh, but what happens

if people do already swap numbers at the event on the night? And I'm like, That's great. That's the best way to do it if you can do it. But I think a lot of the people who are at the events are probably there because they're not very good at going up to people or handing it over their numbers. So, so it's that, as I say, it's a little helping hand to say if you like somebody, if you feel like you connected with somebody, let's see if they felt the same. And just a match doesn't mean that, you know, you could match with six people from an event because you felt like there was something there with all of those people. And then there is a, then the chat function once you've matched to be able to continue that. And the likelihood is you won't stay on the date wildly chat for very long. You'll probably swap numbers then and there, but at least you have that confirmation

that they're interested in you. Whereas you don't really have that. If you're just going to an event and then you leave, you've got no real way of connecting with people afterwards. I've always felt like it's a bit clunky. A lot of them say, you know, oh, let us know if you met somebody that you liked and we'll try and find them and it's just like it's clunky it's embarrassing I don't want to tell the host that I fancied the six foot two man that was in the corner all night like I don't know that it doesn't

sound great but that I don't want to I want to put myself out there and then yeah the hosts to then have a rejection like I just want to do it myself and I think that's why dating apps are so comfortable for so many people because that you can hide behind the screen but at least this way you've put yourself out there and then you can hide a little bit afterwards, but also you might get those matches because you genuinely felt a connection with somebody, which is more likely than if you're just swiping left or right on a Tinder photo. 100%. Yeah. I actually remember I saw like a board of dating apps lost connections thing. Or it might have been haystack. I can't remember which I have one, but it's like

descriptions of people and this thing and I was like, I hope people find each other. but it's quite hard to you. Yeah, and the idea is that I'd love for Board of Dating Apps and Haystack and all of those events to be on date wildly so that as a user you have, as I say, one place to go to find all of them. So, all the dating apps, Haystack, let me know if you're interested. But, but the, you know, I'd love, that's the idea. So that from a user experience, it's better, cleaner, easier.

you can just find what's right for you all in one place, but also from a host perspective, you then aren't having to do that matching piece. And I know there's an element of like creating content around it, but actually there's a platform that does that for you and that actually allows the people who are buying your tickets to have a better sort of all-round experience. And I have lots of aspirations for Date Wildiesel going forward. I'd love to develop it into an app. I'd love to add additional features to make it even more fun. You know, you get rewarded for putting yourself out there and date. Like, there's a lot of things that I really want to do, but I just, it's in its simplest

form at the moment because I just really want people to try it. Let me know if they like it and then we'll sort of build it. But yeah, I'm a, I'm not a techie. So this is all new. But one thing that I am an expert in is being single and what it's like to be single. So I feel like I've got that perspective. I also have hosted many events in the past, including singles ones. So I have the perspective from both.

So I felt like this was the right sort of thing to go into. Yeah. So like admirable to do that. Like you say, I relate to what you said as well about not being technical, but knowing what it's like to be single and dating in London. And so you've got this idea and that's all you need. And I know it's going to take off. As I said, I've been to the events myself,

and I really recommend anyone out there single in London to give Date Wildy a try. Yeah, what's coming up this year for Date Wilde in terms of events? Well, I've been working away over the Christmas period, speaking to different event hosts, and I have a few Date Wilde ones that I'm going to be launching. A couple of sort of quieter, not quieter, but like slightly softer, less boozy ones for sort of January because I appreciate people

who won't have really, well, traditionally people don't have much money or energy or, but they want to get out of the house. So I'm going to do maybe a dog walk in January. You don't have to have a dog. You just have to like dogs. And then I have a few more things sort of in the works. And as I say, speaking to quite a lot of event hosts, a few people that want to put their, there's on there as well. So hopefully, yeah, early Jan, so around about now, I will have a few, a good handful of events on there for people to have a look at. But as I say, the more the merrier, really, it's also a platform for people to,

if you know loads of singles and you want to host an event for your friends or work colleagues or community, you know, tennis community or whatever it might be, it's essentially like an event bright but it's tailored for single so it's got the matching piece. So if you want to host an event for people you know or your own event and you're just an independent person, it's also a platform for that. So yeah, the more the more the merrier really. But yes, early Jan, I will have a good number of events on there for people to have a look at and hopefully come along and hopefully I meet lots of new people.

It's a great way to just meet people as I'm saying. It's been a really lovely thing to do to just meet other singles, whether it's romantic or not. It's just a really nice, nice thing to do. Yeah, absolutely. That single community is so important. Looking forward to seeing how everything takes off with date wildly. It continues to grow in 2026. Do you have any dating New Year's resolutions?

or, yeah, what's dating in your life looking at for 26? Well, outside of date wildly, because that's sort of taken over a lot of 2025, really. 2026, I mean, I did set this sort of intention for last year as well. And it's just really to, as you said, get out there a bit more. I want to go to a singles event at least one a month or put myself out there in a way that enables me to meet new people at least once a month. For me, that's like achievable. It doesn't feel daunting, but I know that I'm going to be meeting, you know, however many people on a night each month where there's the potential to meet somebody romantic day, but also build new relationships.

And that's outside of my date wildly events. I try not to mix business and pleasure, but get a bit complicated. But yes, for me, that's manageable. Like the idea of going to like one a week is just too much. and it's expensive and exhausting. And the same with dating apps, I went on back on Hinge for about a month at the end of last year. And it's sort of, every time I go on it, it reminds me why I shouldn't be on it.

So I'll come off again. Yeah. And it's just, I'm much happier off the apps. So to not go back on them and make sure I stay off them, because I don't get any joy out of it, it just drains any joy that I have. Yeah. And then to put myself out there a bit more, I think it's just important to, for practice more than anything.

And I think for like, because we've got so used to apps and that sort of casual, like, what's the word? Just passive dating, I think apps have created this like passive dating culture where you can ghost, where you can just, because you're not committing to, well, you've not met that person yet. So they don't feel real, you know, and there's so many. You don't feel like you have to have, treat them with any respect or like you have no loyalty to them. You know, nothing's been built up yet. So people are flaky, they're rude. You know, it's not, for me, it's not the right environment. People do, you know, people do find love on the apps.

Going to events just makes it more real for me. And then I do feel like people have a little bit more loyalty. because they've met you. There's just, you can't hide behind a screen and you feel like you do. I mean, personally, also it depends on your age. I think I'm 41 now. So I've got past the sort of worrying about what I'm saying on messages or like not replying for a few days.

Like I don't want to play any games and if I'm not interested in someone, I'll just tell them. And I think that is happening more just generally, but because you've met somebody at least hopefully people feel a little bit more, like they owe them that message rather than just ghosting as well. I mean, it's not always the case, but I find that if you spend an evening having drinks or dinner or something with somebody, then you feel like you owe them that a bit more. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think this ghosting culture is because of the apps for sure.

Like when you know someone or as a friend of a friend or whatever, you're way less like, you kind of remember. like you kind of remember this person's a human being and it's like not okay just to ignore them and I should with respect and I think there's a great dating goals that you shared I like the once a month in person dating event because it's once a week would be way too much and then once a month it's like you can really pick okay what do I want to go to you like what's the best investment of my time because there are so many events now so many. Yeah, you've got a kind of... It's overwhelming.

Yeah. Like what looks most appealing to you or like relating it even to like any skills or hobbies that you're interested in and then go along to one based on that. Yeah. Also I think if you, if for me personally, if I book it in, I go because you often can't get a refund on these things anyway. Whereas if I don't book it in, I just won't do it. So the same as like going to the gym or going to a class or whatever.

If I don't book it in, I just don't do it. So for me, it's important. If I book it in the month before, I'm committed to it. I'll go. And that's a better way for me to work. To know, even if it gets the day and I'm like, I just really can't be bothered to do this, which is usually the case. I've committed to it.

So I go. And then I actually do enjoy myself most of the time. Yeah. And then no dating apps. Great goal as well. I'm also with you on that one. And yeah, happy to be your. accountability partner for that one.

Thanks. Same as you. I know that I just, there's just no point to being on them. It's how I see them now. Like if I know that, but I think it's out of habit and out of the, you have one moment where you feel a bit lonely or you feel a bit like, oh, let me try to work on my dating life. And it seems easy that you could just do that from home and from your phone.

But actually they are completely pointless is how I view them right now. This could be a bad way of viewing it. I've got friends that are engaged, long-term relationships from dating apps. I've met ex-partners from dating apps, but in my opinion now, that was very like a few years ago. I think where we are now in 2026, I don't, that is not for me. That is not for me. Yeah, I agree. I've got, you know, my sister and I've got a lot of friends who met their partners who are now married in the early days of Tinder when it was people were actually going on it with a good

intention of meeting people. And I think it's the intentions. And people are, you know, I've read a lot about people go more into sort of intentional dating, meeting in real life. And that's what meeting in real life is now. It's having an intention to actually meet somebody for most people. And the apps used to be that. It used to be a new way to intentionally date. But now it's not new. It's sort of old and people realize that they can be a bit more casual with it. The intentions changed, I think, for a lot of people, not everyone, obviously. There are probably people on there. I know there are people on there who actively want to meet somebody.

But as you say, I don't think it's the right channel really, unless you have also have friends who will, as soon as they're single, they just go on a date every single night for like three months. And they'll date seven people a week. And like, it's actually insane, but it's a mass, you know, it's a numbers game. And then they do meet somebody after that. but I do not have the energy all the time for that.

I cannot be bothered. And yeah, I'm too long for that now. So I think great for whoever can do that. If you want to do that, brilliant. Like, line them up, but I don't have the time or the energy. So, yeah, for me, it's like, one to month. Oh, my God, I know. Also, that's the thing.

I can't really date more than one person at a time. I feel like a bit wrong. And, but some people can do that, you know, if they're not in, in it fully, they can sort of casually take quite a lot of people, which again is absolutely fine, but I just can't do that. So yeah, yeah, one event a month, not a huge commitment, meet a decent number of people, see if there are any connections. If not, try again the next month. I think that's the best way to do it. Yeah, I love that. Well, keep me posted on how I will. Can I see you at some of the events? Yes, I'll keep you posted. I said,

my goals are a bit different this year, which is kind of not focusing on data. at all. But that's fine. Like, I'm going to let life flow and I feel really excited about that. And yeah, I'm happy to go to the odd event. If I see one that looks really fun and it's like a hobby that I'm interested anyway, maybe we can go to one together. Yeah, that sounds fun. Although I don't run, I'm afraid, so it wouldn't be a, it wouldn't be a running one. But yes, definitely. I'm done with the running one. Like, it was fine, but it was also like quite chaotic. And there was honestly I would say about 70 women and seven men. And because I did meet this really good girlfriend.

I did meet a guy who I started dating. You did well out of that. So yeah, so I can't say anything bad about it in the sense of I did meet someone and I met a girlfriend. But I just found it chaotic in terms of the how many people were there and the ratio and like, yeah, I don't think I'd go to it. I love running, but I'm totally happy to just go running alone and not have to like date and run and try and talk to. It's quite a lot to get into an evening, isn't it, or a day? Yeah, but there's one thing. I would say about the date wildly events that we've done so far, most of them have been,

although quite small numbers because it's new, you know, it's not a boja levels or anything, but it means that you can speak to everybody who's there, and it has been fairly about. in terms of men and women for most of them. So I think there are, the bigger events have, have their bonuses for sure. Like you can, you're more likely to meet somebody probably because there's more people there. But then the actual meeting of people is harder because there's more people. So, I don't know, I think it's quite good. That's why one a month, if you do one, one, one big event, one month and then a smaller one, another month.

It's, I think, get a bit of a range of different experiences. Well, then you have to come to some date wildly once. I will. I'm really interested in the dog walk idea, so I'm totally down for that. But like, yeah, I went to one recently. It's new as well called dating unswiped. And that USP is small events. So, for my opinion, I think it's a lot better. Like, yes, there's people there. So it was eight men, eight women.

So 16 of us, but it was perfect. Honestly, in times about a number of people to meet in one evening. Yeah. Christine was great. It was just a nice group vibe. So recommend dating and swiped as well and, yeah, hoping to get dating and swiped creator on the podcast as well in a future episode. So yeah, I can connect you guys because I think that's a nice idea as well.

Just keeping it really small, I think feels a lot less overwhelming than going into a room of 100 people and trying to like network with all of all of them. network full of them. Definitely. But then it is like there's something for everyone, isn't there, like with dating and there's so many different ways to meet people now. Like traditionally it was like if you were meeting in real life, it was some sort of awkward speed dating event. But now there's just so much more, you know, there's board games, there's sports, there's drinks, there's dinners, there's everything you could think of. So again, that's why I think it's important to have them all in one place so you can work out what is right for you and the way

you want to date and meet people. Because some people feel really uncomfortable sitting down at a dinner and having to sort of have enforced conversation with the person in front of them. And some people love the idea of a smaller dinner where they only have to meet, you know, they have three people around them that they have to speak to and that's it. So it's like people really do have like preferences of the way they want to date and the way they feel comfortable meeting people. And it's great there's so much out there now. But just to find what is right for you is quite hard, I think, at the moment. So fingers crossed in the future, they'll just be one place.

Yes, super excited. Well, thanks, Gemma, for talking about Date Wilde. And encourage people to go and follow Date Wilde and Instagram to find out about their latest events coming out. To end the episode, would you mind helping me answer a few dating dilemmas? I would love to. Okay, let's go. Hey S-Jam, need your advice on this. I'm completely speechless and lost for words that will just happen to me.

So I matched with a guy a few days ago and we had some really good conversations. We planned a date for tonight at 7.30 p.m. He knew that I was working until 5.5. until five. We're messaging occasionally throughout the day, but officers I work. He sent me a message at 4.30. 5 p.m. is when I stopped working. I then clicked on the message notification to like try and view and reply to the message, but he unmatched me. Less than three hours before the date. I'm beyond shocked. Yeah, I really don't know what to do. Have you got any advice? I mean, goodness. I mean, I guess I would say that that is dating up behaviour, isn't it? A lot of it. Not everyone, but from my last experience at the end of last year, I got, the feeling was that it's

just so easy to let people down or cancel or not even have to like tell somebody that you need to cancel. It's just, it's very easy because like I said, you don't have any. loyalty to that person yet if you've not been on a date with them. I guess, well, firstly, if they're going to do that, then you don't want to go on a date with them anyway. You've got out of something that would never have been very good. It's disappointing and I totally get the, you've put an effort in to chat to somebody and it just feels like a real waste of time, doesn't it? But I think, I guess that's why apps like breeze and things are around because it stops that chat bit and you just have to commit to the meeting. For me, that's not what I want to know

that they can spell and, you know, I can actually hold a conversation. But you do risk the fact that they can just drop out at any point. Again, that's why I don't believe that they're the right way to meet somebody these days. But I think if this person still wants to use whatever app that was, just keep going. It is a numbers game. You know, shrug it off and try again. But it's sort of what is to be expected on apps these days. It's very strange behaviour because they were messaging throughout the day. He's confirmed the date and then he's suddenly with three hours to go just unmatched.

I mean, that's evil. I do think there's quite a lot of male anxiety out there when it comes to dating. And there's something that I realised more recently. Like, I've had a few guys cancel on me, like, literally on the day as well, and with no real reason for it. And I think they're dealing with their own things, or whatever it might be. But, and it's bad practice, bad behaviour. It's not okay. But I do think there is a lot more male anxiety out there around dating than we realize maybe.

And there is being communicated. I just think, why do you just unmatch if he just said to her? Yeah. Well, that's cowardly, isn't it? Yeah, to even actually say the words, I'm really sorry I can't meet tonight. I'm not feeling well. But to full on just unmatch

after you've been messaging throughout the day. Yeah, it's weird. But then maybe he's speaking to like six other people and had already planned another day. I mean, you don't know, do you? And you can waste time wondering, but actually just, I think, sack him off. and go on a date with somebody else.

Yeah. There's lots more. Self care. Self care is key. Self care. Exactly. Have a nice bath. Yeah.

Treat yourself to a takeaway. Have a nice evening in. And then start again the next day. Yeah. Definitely. FaceTime your friends. Yeah. Maybe just delete hinge as well.

Yes. A bit of advice. This is why I also think you should exchange numbers. Yeah. And you've ranged a date. I know some people say. Yeah. I agree.

No, there's no reason to exchange numbers, like keep it on the app. And then after me, I can give you my number. But for me, if I've arranged a date with someone, I would definitely prefer to exchange numbers just so, you know, even on the way, any problems, whatever. You can just call each other kind of thing. Because I think on the apps, you can literally just unmapped and that's it. There's like no way of contacting them. Yeah, I agree. And I do think someone becomes a bit more real when you've exchanged numbers with them.

and you can see their WhatsApp photo and like it's a bit more normal communication outside of the app. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. They recommend exchanging numbers. Like you've got a date arranged. Okay. Next dilemma. This one's not really a dilemma.

It's just a rant on dating. So this is the right place for that. I always say sending your questions and dilemmas to help us swipe to write at gmail.com or help I swipe right on Instagram. but honestly, send in just your rants as well. We're here to listen and empathise of you. So this rant, it's not really a rant, but you know, I get where this person's coming from. I'm just starting to feel really worn down by dating and just looking for some advice. I've been putting myself out there for a while now and it's starting to feel exhausting rather than hopeful.

First of all, I'm feeling a struggle just to match with people. Then when you do met, it could turn into love bombing and or ghosting. I also had a situation where I was seeing someone for four months, talking every day, spending most weekends together, and then I found out that he was seeing someone else the entire time. I know I'm not alone in this, and listening to your podcast really helps me feel less alone in this. I'm just feeling really disheartened and fed up by the whole situation.

Do you have any advice? Oh, poor thing. She sounds like she's been in through the ringer. Yeah. I mean, I have a few friends who are just really disheartened by dating as well. And I do think what your plan is for 2026 is a good one. It's like, take yourself out of it, recharge. And because I think if you're going into dating, feeling sort of sad and drained by it all,

you need to go in with your energy in full, you know, like your enthusiasm, in full to have a positive approach to it. And if that's dipping or is completely drained, you're not going to get the right stuff out of it. So I think take yourself out of it, recharge for a few months, then go back in if that means going on the apps. If that's what you like, then great. But as we've said, I would remove yourself from the apps because there's no,

like, empathy or emotion on the apps. It's not, it's like, it's tech, isn't it? It's like when I was in COVID, you realize that working from home, you don't get the extra bits that you get in the office of like chatting to people, having those like friendly banter around the water fountain type thing. And I think and it's that like extra, it sort of saps all of that extra niceness out of just like being behind a piece of technology. And although obviously we've readjusted to working from home now, like I think it's a similar thing. takes out any niceties that you would get around dating when you're just on the app.

So take yourself off that, put yourself back into a sort of real life and go to real life events like we've been saying or practice just talking to people and building relationships. But I think the most important thing is like look after yourself, get yourself back to being happy about it before you then go back out into the world because it's a really, really tough world being single and particularly nowadays the apps we've got the apps to be grateful well to be thankful for that and it's yeah I think you can only really go into it when you're feeling at your best otherwise you need to take a step back from it all yeah and I know it's the cliche of like you'll only meet someone when you're sort of when you don't need to or you don't feel like you need to you're at your happiest

but I do think you're going to be most appealing to people and the right people if you are in the right place yourself. So, yeah, I think the focus should always be you being happy. And if you feel like you're not, then take yourself away from what's draining your happiness. Yes, I'll completely echo that advice. Yeah, first of all, get off the apps. They're not here. Second of all, sorry to hear you went for that situation of, you know, dating someone for months, finding out there seeing someone else the entire time.

That is a big betrayal of trust and I get what I'd make you feel down about dating. So yeah, definitely take some time off. Like don't throw yourself into it straight away and think yourself as well, like, what did I learn for that situation? Like, was there anything to do with communication between me and that person? that wasn't clear and like how can I sort of prevent that happening again. And just to say you're completely right in your rant like dating is hard can be hard. Dating culture has changed where people are a bit flaky and whatever.

So take it easy and try to focus on more in real life dating as well rather than the apps. That's what I can say to this person. Keep your head up. Do things that make you happy. Spend time with friends and put less of a focus on dating if you can. Yes, agree. Agree. Even if it's just for a few months, I think it's so helpful. I'm usually at my happiest when I'm not trying to date anyone. So it's probably saying something about me, but I think definitely taking yourself off the apps, which don't give you that, like, nourishment that you need in terms of like,

connection. You know, there's the whole loneliness epidemic of particularly men and like people create a craving connection now. So put yourself in places where you feel connection and like nourished by people around you rather than drained. That's the most important thing. Great advice. Okay. That is all of our dilemmas for today. And that brings us to the end of today's episode. A reminder to everyone listening to please make sure you're subscribed or following the podcast. and make sure you've left me a review if you've not done so already. That is really important for helping the podcast to grow. So massive love to anyone if you can take a little bit of time to do that.

Thank you so much, Gemma, for coming on the podcast today. And remember that you can follow Date Wildly on Instagram and check out any upcoming events. All right, everyone, thanks for listening and see you next Sunday.