Her Discussions by Dr Faye - #1 Therapist: Which Wellness Trends Actually Work?

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, mid-sized business. We see your big ambitions, but how do you achieve the wins you want when your technology is holding you back? SAP Grow is built to grow with your business, no matter its size, with AI embedded at its core, working across every system, all ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow. AI Cloud, ERP for any size business. First, we're going to come on to a section called Buy or Buy By, because every time you look on the TV or social media, it feels as though there is a new product, a new trend that is being pushed. And I'm sure a lot of the audience feel like they're doing a lot of the mental work in terms of therapy, understanding their own brain, journaling, but actually still feeling stuck in the same patterns. So this section is aimed to try and cut through those trends and that noise.

Starting point is 00:00:56 They're a bit crumpled. Online therapy, would you buy or say bye bye to this? See, this is where it is. It can work. But if it's the first time you're going into therapy, I would say sit in a room with someone. Why is that? Because I'm a relationalist. And I feel that being able to have the,

Starting point is 00:01:22 energy of someone sitting with you is far different than a screen. You can still get, you know, a good result of that. But if it's your first time and you've had issues with relationships, then let's really create a really positive relationship that is seen and felt with your therapist. Nice. Manifestation practices. Keep them. But know what you're doing.

Starting point is 00:01:52 Okay. What do you mean by now what you're doing? What I mean is that there is a whole process around manifestation, see it, feel, it, smell it, really make it, make it real. And just by really, really making it come alive and not kind of setting your sights on something that you feel is too far in the future or, It's just seen so far away. Practice it and start with something small. Nice. Healing girl era content.

Starting point is 00:02:29 Now I'm going to ask you what that means. Okay. Personally, my perception of it is making wellness and making healing more of a trend that is matched with aesthetically pleasing journals, a morning matcher, positive affirmations, a lot of self-help books. When I look at Healing Girl era content, it almost makes healing visually appealing. Yes, yeah, I understand what you mean there. Okay, there are tools that we can use, okay.

Starting point is 00:03:09 But what is healing? You know, healing is quieter, it's slower. It's something that's really individual to the person. And we don't need things. things to do that. I think what we really need to do is to stop and really start listening to what's going on inside us because you can have all of these things and all of this money that you've spent, but has it made a difference? So finding that person, oh, I'm a therapist, I'm going to say that you, but it doesn't have to be a therapist. It can be a partner or it can be

Starting point is 00:03:46 someone that's really trusted that you can start bouncing out ideas of. I often say, find your tribe. It's so important to find your tribe. And, you know, the people that are like-minded like you that maybe have the same struggles that you can all bounce off each other. So things, some, but no. Nice. Positive affirmations.

Starting point is 00:04:13 I love a positive affirmation. Yes, I do. I'd say keep it because I think it's a great way to start your day. And also, sometimes we don't, we're not positive with ourselves.

Starting point is 00:04:28 But again, I'd say it's how you do it. Okay. And the way I say how you do it is being able to really mirror, use it in the mirror and look into your eyes. How many people do not,

Starting point is 00:04:40 they look at them in the mirror to make sure they don't look like a piece of, can I say shit? Yeah, you can. Yeah, absolutely. You know, they'll look outside, but they're not actually looking in their eyes to really see themselves.

Starting point is 00:04:53 So, yeah, that's how I'd say, look in your eyes. Is there a wrong way to do positive affirmations? If you're just doing it from up here cognitively, I want you to feel it, feel it in your heart. You know, if we think about it, whenever anyone says something positive to us, we tend to brush it away, or I often say to my clients,

Starting point is 00:05:14 you let it fall on the floor and you step on it. Let's do it a different way. When someone gives you something positive, take it even if it feels uncomfortable and place it in your heart. Because we're so good at taking the negative and ruminating over it over and over and over again. So with a positive affirmation, just be present and let it flood your whole body. Nice. Nervous system tools like breath work. 100%.

Starting point is 00:05:44 Most definitely keep that. Breath work is so important, you know, and it does regulate the nervous system. I use it a lot for myself and I also use it in my therapy room, breathwork, visualization, calming techniques. Yeah, keep that one. Do you have a favourite breathwork exercise? No, I'm very spontaneous in the way that I do think. And it really depends on who's with me and meeting that person where they are. But just knowing how to abdominal breathe is, because if we look at the baby, right, the baby breathes from their tummy.

Starting point is 00:06:24 Always. And what happens through trauma or upset? We brief them that. So really teaching people to abdominal breathe and then whatever visualization that I feel that's going to work with them, you know, I will use. I don't really stick to any kind of, I'm not really prescriptive. I'm a therapist that will really try and work with whoever is in. in the room with me. That's really interesting because number one, I really hate square breathing, but I found some really good breathing techniques that I really like, like we had someone do the

Starting point is 00:06:57 double H, which I really like that, like a two big deep breaths and then a long exhale. Temi breathing, absolutely. Those really work for me, but I really don't like square breathing, but some people do. Really interestingly, my fiance, literally the other day, I was sat and I didn't realize it myself, and he just says me, fair, you're breathing really quickly. And suddenly I did notice. And just having that moment, I don't know, to checking in on myself, it was really, really helpful. But it was interesting how much we don't realize.

Starting point is 00:07:27 Oh, absolutely. And there's something that you've just said there about checking in with yourself. Often we just roll out of bed and just have a morning routine. You'd never go into a meeting if you was not ready. You would, you know, you'd make sure everything was in order. the actual morning routine I often say is before you get out of bed, just do a quick body scan. How am I feeling?

Starting point is 00:07:51 How am I breathing? Am I carrying any anxiety? Where is it? Do I need to feel anxious today? So what you're doing is being really curious. You know, my morning routine is very much, I will do that. But I'll also meditate for about 10 minutes. And I don't allow my clients to come into my head yet.

Starting point is 00:08:11 So if they do, I send them at my little door. And then I'll jump in the shower. I've got a visualization that I'll do in the shower and then really have a slow routine. And the only time that once I put my key through my office door, that's when I allow everything to come in. But I really protect that space. It was not always like that.

Starting point is 00:08:33 That's something that I've really learnt. And I also have a closed-down routine, you know, packing things away visually in my mind. and putting all my notes away. And then when I'm in my car, sometimes I don't even put the radio or music because I need silence. Or I will just play my music on the way home.

Starting point is 00:08:52 When I get home, then I upstairs, shower, take the day off. And then I can be another part of myself because I'm at home now. I really could have used with that, this advice when I was working 12 hours shifts in the NHS because I really, really, really, really, struggled with that coming home and turning off. Thank you for listening. If you would like to hear

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Her Discussions by Dr Faye - #1 Therapist: Which Wellness Trends Actually Work?

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