Her Discussions by Dr Faye - Career Secrets We're Never Told | Mini Episode

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Another Thursday, another mini episode!Every Thursday, we’re sharing the Buy or Bye Bye segment from one of your favourite Her Discussions episodes - a breakdown of what actually works for your health. This week, we're revisiting our episode with Heather Elkington who is one of the UK’s leading leadership experts, an author, and a TEDx speaker who has been featured in Forbes and GQ.In the full episode, we discuss:👛 Hack to get paid x3 times your salary 🤍 How to stop being a people pleaser⭐ Ways to get other people to respect you✏️ 5 things you MUST include in your CVs🚩 How to spot red flags from your managerListen to the full podcast here:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7qF06BemW1O2qldNtukxxp?si=9sPz3cbqTnWLj4MeBGwJSA YouTube: https://youtu.be/GU0lrLsCZXc Please don’t forget to subscribe - it really helps us grow the podcast.Resources & links mentioned:@leadershipheatherCan I ask you a BIG favour? 💙Please leave a review or rating. It helps us grow the podcast and bring you more amazing guests.Share this with someone who wants to protect their brain, boost focus, or live smarter, it might help them feel more energized and confident.Follow us on social media or join the broadcast channel to send us your questions for our guests:Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/herdiscussionspod/⁠⁠Broadcast channel: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbY4liwxlLnewx4H/⁠⁠ 🛑 Disclaimers & legal:This podcast is for educational / informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. All opinions are those of the speaker(s).

Twizzlers keep the fun going. Yeah, I know. I just stopped whatever you were listening to to tell you that Twizzlers keep the fun going. Well, irony isn't my forte, but twisty, chewy, yummy Twizzler sure is. So think of Twislers as a little pallet cleanser for whatever's queued up,

which, by the way, should be coming very soon. Like any second now. Okay, Twizzlers, time to keep the fun going. We're going to do our section, Bye or Bye-bye. So basically, I'm going to show you a card and you're going to tell me whether you would buy this so you like it or whether you'd say bye-bye as in like goodbye. No, we don't want this. Yeah. Starting with LinkedIn.

Yeah, bye, definitely. LinkedIn was, it's a great way to share your wins. Like women are far too humble. We are far too, we do incredible work as much, if not more, as the boys. We do incredible, incredible work. And we just don't shout it out enough. We don't talk about our wins. We're just so, so humble.

And for me, LinkedIn was a platform where I started posting on LinkedIn before any other platform. And it was a place where I could just document like stories and team wins and career wins. And it's a great way. I think LinkedIn was one of the big reasons why I got such big pay rises when I was at Sage because the CEO knew my name.

He was a CEO of a first. Putsi 100 company, like this guy manages technically like 20,000 people. I'm like however many rungs below him. He shouldn't know who I am. But because I was posting on LinkedIn and he was obviously interested in the narrative around the business online, he knew who I was. He came to see me. He would message me occasionally.

I got put forward for opportunities on like internal panels. And so, yeah, massive buy. Yeah. I hate LinkedIn. So far. I hate LinkedIn. I, And I think maybe it is the whole womanly thing

of you don't want to talk about your wins. Yeah. If you are listening right now and you also hate LinkedIn, what advice would you give to just get in your foot in the door trying? Yeah. LinkedIn is a place where there's just huge opportunity.

I would argue that, I don't want to say Instagram and TikTok are saturated because there's always space. There's always room for brilliant people. But LinkedIn is a place where it is so, pale, stale mail, that if you come to the table with something interesting to say, everyone, like it's so needed, the different opinions on there are so needed. I hate LinkedIn probably in the same way that you do in that I know what it feels like, I know what it looks like,

I know what it feels like, and sometimes you go on there and it's just people shout, you know, I've done this and I've done this with my B2B SaaS business and tech and blah, blah, and I get that. But if you can look past that, it's just a huge, a huge option. So when I was, the reason I started posting on LinkedIn was years and years ago, there was two reasons. One, I hated networking. I still do. Hate networking events. I avoid them like the plague, right? And everyone's like, your network is your net worth, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, but I hate these events. I hate small talk, hate the awkwardness. I leave just feeling drained. I just don't enjoy it. So, but I know it's important for people to know me and know my name. So LinkedIn was my tool where I was like,

okay, how do I get my name to people? And so they know what I stand for, they know the work I'm doing, they know what I'm about without having to put so much time and energy into these events. That was one reason. The second reason was,

this time five years ago, I was skin. Like paycheck to paycheck doesn't even cut it. It was like paycheck, then alone, and then, you know, like eating the rice that's at the back of the cupboard kind of skin. And, but I kept hearing people saying, like, you need to be investing. in your 20s, it's the time to invest,

you know, compound interest, blah, blah, blah. But I was like, but I don't have any money. And they were like, you can start an investment bank with 20 pound a month. I didn't even have 20 pound a month. I probably did, but I didn't. I didn't feel like I had 20 pound a month. So I was like, how do I invest in me,

in future me, without spending a single penny? And it was by putting an extra hour in my morning, so I would get up early to do LinkedIn, into crafting a LinkedIn post, telling people my stories. And at the time I was post on LinkedIn, I had no intention of leaving corporate going self-employed. I was just doing it because I saw it as I'm investing time into future me. And I don't know what dividends it's going to pay.

I don't know how it's going to work. But all I know is I need to tell these stories and I need to document this. Even if it doesn't reach anyone, I'll document it for me and I'll document it for my team. And so it was just this idea that how do I invest without cash? And that was what LinkedIn was for me. It was a really great tool to do that. So we buy. Bye.

Bye. Bye. No. Coffee chats. Ooh. In what way? I guess in the maybe reaching out to someone being like, hey, can we have a coffee chat? Like as a networking approach, maybe, I would say.

I'm uncomfortable. I'm going to say bye-bye because I'm uncomfortable with it, only because I think coffee chat, as the way it's like written there, it can feel a bit invaluable. So I would say if the intention here is like we want a network, we want maybe to find mentors, to create bonds with people, start by offering them value first. That's how I got all the best mentors in my life. So I was like, again, I don't have money. You're way more skilled than I but I could help you post on LinkedIn or I could help talk to you about how I'm running my team at Sage

and maybe people at Sage who had been there decades longer than I had and I wanted to learn from them I was like, well why don't I help tell you a little bit about what I'm doing with my team and I'd love to learn about your team and so it's not that coffee chats are a bad thing I just time is our most valuable asset

like it's the only finite asset really it's the only finite resource that we have And so people, the reason I'm saying bye-bye is because a lot of people reach out to me and ask for coffee chats. And I just think, but it's not going to be useful for anyone. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only.

Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, Peace contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I say we've got eight hours recording today. At the end of the day, I want to go home and I want to spend time with my boyfriend or call my mum. But yeah, if someone said, oh, could I come shadow the podcast for the day, like see what you do for the recordings and then, you know, in lunch we're just chatting.

And then you can say, oh, I can take some content for you during the podcast. There is, we, it's not about being transactional. It's about valuing someone's time, I think, is, okay. Definitely. But if it's a threat, but that being said, the reason I was like, in what way is because I'm someone, I really value the existing relationships I have with, like, my family and my friends. And over the last couple of years, it's gone really high up in my priority list to invest

time in them in our relationship, you know, just be with them more. And it gets harder, I think, as you get older because people, certain people have got kids, married, moved to different parts of the country. And so in that sense, it's become a lot more valuable for me. Like, my mum lives about an hour and a half away from me, which isn't that far. And ordinarily, we would just like, like, weeks, sometimes months pass where we'd just be on WhatsApp, maybe FaceTime. And Now I'm like, if three weeks passes, I'm like, I need to go and see my mom and like spend time and invest in her because I love her and I want our relationship to just deepen because we're not going to be here forever. And so in that sense, and same with friends. Like two of my best friends now live a little bit away from me. And I used to think, oh, it's such a fath to travel and go far, whatever. Now I'm like, no, it's not. That's the best way I could spend a day of my life. So in that sense, yes. In like a network. mentoring sense. No. Love. Brilliant.

A CV of the Americans a resume. Yeah, I'm going to say bye. I think we've just gone through a recruitment process with Tisha, who's sat in the room, who's our social media exec, and has passed a probation and is brilliant and incredible in every single way. And so we went through this recruitment process, and I was doing so much research because the world of recruitment has changed drastically over the last few years with AI, video, like, so many things. And so I was like, so what is the best way then?

If it's not a CV, what's the best way to get like a really quick view of someone's skills and experience and all that jazz? For me, a CV still does that. It still shows that. And I think a lot of recruitment processes now will say things like, you know, ditch the CV and send us a video, a five-minute video. or get experimental and whatever. And I think that's okay a little bit later on in the process.

But I think at the beginning, it's naive of us to think as employers that we are more special than every other business out there. And I think like Tisha will be the first to tell you it's really hard at the minute to find a job. And so you want a fast way to get information to people. And I don't want people in the first instance to have to spend like a day thinking of something.

writing something or build it, whatever. I want a CV and then we go a bit deeper after that. So maybe 10% of those CVs will make it through. And then at that point, there's commitment from me and I would expect more commitment from them. So bye. I'm still a CV girl, still a CV girl. Quick one, top tips. Your five top tips for CVs. Show a bit of personality. It's interesting because people think that you shouldn't, but I, not like a photo or anything that could trigger bias, but just personality in the term, in the sense of like, if there's something you love, something that makes you stand out, talk about it on your CV, because I read every CV. I treat, even if we get like hundreds, I will put time into properly looking at every single

one because I'm like, it's a human being, this is their future. And if you've written just anything slightly off kilter, I'm like, oh, what was that? Amazing. So that, the second thing I would say is talk about results and not in. So a lot of people on CV will be like, I ran the social media for this or I, you know, managed a team of five. And it's like, yeah, but what were the results? Tell me what were those results. So I got 10 million impressions in a year.

I took our following from X to Y. I show just results because that's what speaks volumes. Yeah. And I would have to echo the personality thing. Because I also think if you're looking through when I've gone through a process and I'm looking through quite a few Cs. CVs, the people who put on their CV, like, I don't know, want a baking competition or, you know, just, it doesn't have to take up too much space. I don't think if it's not really relevant to the role, but just a little spark of this is who I am as a person. And it keeps, it makes you memorable as well, I think.

100%. More of a controversial one. University degrees. Bye, bye, bye. No. So anything academic, doctor, obviously. Yeah. Anything that needs higher education, 100% yes.

I just feel as though it's become a little bit of a scam and it kind of preys on the vulnerable, this idea that you have to pay an absolute fortune to learn something that you may not use. That being said, I think the most important... My university degree taught me absolutely nothing. So I did business management, which is funny because I now manage businesses and manage people

and talk about management. But in that degree, we just learned, I mean, I barely ever went. I was just drunk half the time. So I barely ever went. But in the lectures, we were just learning theory. It was all Kaiser,

Ford production line, like textbook management. The day I stepped on the Harrod shop floor to assistant manage a team of eight people, I very quickly realized everything I'd learned was useless. None of it mattered. I'd never used it since. and like the level of imposter syndrome, emotion that I felt a degree could have never taught me. The one thing I did really value from doing a degree was just moving out of my hometown.

That was it. And so just getting away from home and spending three years in a city, I went to Newcastle uni, in a city away from family with new people, learning like, Doncaster is very uncultural. It's not very multicultural at all. And so it was the first time that I like made friends with and lived with people from other parts of the world. And it just opened my eyes to like a whole better side of the world. And so that I love, but I think you can achieve that

by just moving out of your home time for a couple of years. So yeah, so just take them with a pinch of salt. Unpaid internships. No. Bye-bye. They annoy me. Bye-bye. Yeah.

I am someone who. people giving me their time is the most valuable thing I could ever ask for them. I would, just from a personal perspective, I would never, ever not pay someone. I have done them. Like, I wanted to be a lawyer at one point, and I did like a law work experience, did an internship with them over summer. And it just made me realize how much I didn't want to be a lawyer. So it was valuable for me.

but I just, if someone was to come in and said to me, can I work for you unpaid, the first thing I would say was, no, I'll pay you. Because I want that value transaction to feel fair. It's like you will never see me have anything gifted on my stories. I get small businesses that are run by my friends, I would always pay them. If a small business reached out, like a content studio reached out to me from Manchester and they were like, can you come and film some content for the day? We'll give you the space for free.

We just would love you to tag you in it. And I was like, well, no, because I normally pay hundreds of pounds. So I was like, I will pay, I would love to come, but please let me pay you. And then if it's great, I'll talk about it. Because I just, I, yeah. Yeah. I think it's quite a personal thing, but I am just someone who there is nothing that I will pay for. Like, it makes me angry when, like, I'm a big tipper.

I just, I don't know, money. talks and I just think from someone who's gone from not having much money at all to now I have the absolute privilege of being able to afford things, I want to pay people for that work. Yeah. I think it's fair. Yeah. And yeah, I would agree. And I think that often we'll come on to this is that often women in the workplace are branded pushovers or too soft and kind of links to what you're saying. I personally feel the same is I don't think that women's kindness generally as women's kindness is ever a bad thing. So people might say, well, why would you, maybe you need to be a bit more cutthroat.

Maybe you need to just take a bit more. But I don't think, I don't think we're doing a service to the world by telling women to put, to get rid of those qualities. You know, being kind, being fair, a strength and not weaknesses. 100%. We'll come on to that a little bit, a little bit later on. Drinks have to work. Oh. This is going to have to be in the middle

because it's a, in moderation, fine, great bonding opportunity. Just be aware that some of the most toxic, gossipy, difficult cultures can be built in drinks after work. And you have to be aware of things like, when we had a really small team, it was fun because everyone drank, you know, everyone, no one had kids. And so it felt very fair.

But when we started to grow as a business, some people didn't drink, whether it was for just out of choice or if it was religious reasons or health reasons. And if you then centre all social interaction at work around drinking, it just very quickly becomes really divisive and unfair for people. And I started to notice that when the business I was working inside grew. And so I just started to put a lot more impetus on, let's do social events that don't revolve around drinking.

as a manager, like when you get more senior, absolutely not. You could go for one, that's fine. Absolutely go for one. If you are drunk around your team, you need to sort yourself out. Yeah. Absolutely not.

Yeah. I hate it. I hate the feeling of vulnerability the next day. I hate the anxiety and it's just not. Yeah. I have people that I get probably a little bit too drunk around and then my friends and people who are close to me. I wouldn't, personally.

But then also I think you've touched on. a really important point about how it can be an unfair advantage if you do drink. What advice would you give to someone who maybe they don't drink for whatever reason? Maybe it's religious reasons or, you know, they just don't. It's perfectly valid to just not drink even if it's not a religious reason. If they feel like they're missing out on those opportunities because they're not going to like drinks after work and having that bonding time. First of all, it's really hard.

And so my partner doesn't drink and she hasn't drank for three years now, over three years. And so I've seen and understood really deeply just how alcohol-centered the UK is, everything. Like literally it spans into every interaction that we have specifically in the UK. And it's so it's really hard is the first thing to acknowledge. So if you, because I've had many, she won't mind me saying this, like deep chats with my partner where she can feel, you almost start thinking like, am I the problem? Like is it me? why can't I enjoy myself anymore? Why can't let my hair down?

But it's not you. You're not the problem. You're the heroes. And I'm grateful for you. And thank you because you're much better than me because I can't do it. So that's the first thing is just like allow yourself to know that what you're doing is really, really hard.

Make some suggestions. Point it out to your boss. Like if you're in a working culture where it really is drink heavy, you're probably not going to be able to change it. I would say try to change your environment because as I've been in those environments. And by the way, I don't want to come off as preachy here when I'm like, don't drink because I've been there. I've been that person who's been out until 3 a.m. with people at work and the next morning just felt like shit.

Trust me, I was that for many years. So this is not to be preachy, but it's like there does come a point where you have to choose what you prioritize. And for me, that was my mental health. And for me, it was also, I. stopped caring about staying out drinking when I got happier. Yeah. So, like, the more happy I got in my personal life, the more happy I felt at home, the more comfortable I felt being at home. And, like, my favorite thing in the world to do now, if you would say, like, what's your perfect, like, Friday night?

It would be me and Shah, my partner, sat on the sofa, ordering a pizza, watching TV. And it's like, because I don't need more. That's just happy. That's just happiness. Yeah. And so then when you find yourself, you know, at 9 p.m. and everyone's on like their fifth pint, if you find yourself in that situation when home is really happy, you're sat there going, why am I here? This is not fun. Fun is at home.

Enjoyables at home. Whereas the times when I was like the person who was out late and trying to get everyone else to stay out late and wanted to do all that was when I was unhappy in my relationship with myself, with my relationship with my partner at the time at home because home wasn't happy. And so, like, if anyone's listening to this, who is the person who stays out too late, the questions I would ask myself is, like, what are we masking? Like, what are we trying to avoid? Because I was avoiding home for a long time. My self-esteem was at my lowest. I felt like I could only be liked if I was the fun, loud one. I never got drunk when it was work drinks because I just, I think I saw a lot of people get drunk at the after-work drinks at the hospital. And if anyone knows doctors, like they like to let us.

their hair down and I just watching that I maybe like a couple of them I came late and I was like god I'm never going to be that person but when I was younger like when I worked there was one really bad really bad time when I was a lifeguard oh my god I just got absolutely I think I got kicked out of after I worked drinks or because I was so drunk yeah yeah and like I but I thought that I could only be valued yeah if I was fun yeah and by when I was drunk I was the most fun version of say, as my self-esteem has grown, I've realized you are valuable for so many more things. You don't need to be the fun one all the time. Exactly.

It's okay. And there's so much more power, I think, in going home. Like, you quickly realize when you've said no, it's the hardest to say no the first time. The first time you make the decision to go home at half six or seven instead of 10 or 1 a.m. It's the hardest because that's the time you're going to get the most resistance from people. You want to say it out loud, but you know people are going to be like, what do you mean? you go and hurt, why you've been boring, you're not usually like this. You do it once, you do it twice, it's a bit uncomfortable, you do it three times. And then eventually,

people know you, my friends, I'm the first one to go home now. They know that, they know that about me. And it's not uncomfortable. And like, I just, it took me a while. The first time you do it is hard, but then after that it feels like you're reclaiming power over yourself. Yeah. Oh, friends with your team. Yeah, I'm a big buy for this. I think, it would be completely impossible to not be friends with your team. And I think especially when you have a great team that works well together, building those bonds is important. There has to be boundaries always.

And I would say those boundaries start with don't do things like after work drinks. Or if you do go for one, go for dinner, keep it civilised. But you don't want to be friends in a way that impacts work. Like, I always think friendships have gone too far when it becomes like gossipy and almost it feels like a place to just moan and be negative about work. Because even though it's good to have that comfort, like, don't get me wrong, you want the comfort in people, you want someone that you can share things with, fine. But when it becomes like, you can't find, it starts to feel as though you can't find any joy in work anymore. because you're just complaining all the time to other people. And you constantly, you know, something happens at work.

You message five other people. Can you believe this? They've done this again. And it just starts to be, yeah, it becomes a bit toxic. So 100% friends with your team. Build the bonds, be friends with them. I don't think I've ever not been friends with my team. I used to think it was a bad idea.

And then I just quickly realized it'd be impossible not to be. So yeah, go for it. Just know your boundaries. You spend more time with you, the people you work with, than your friends and your family. So it should be. I think you'd be a bit miserable if you weren't friends with your team.

It'd be hard. Thank you for listening. If you would like to hear the full episode with even more jam-packed knowledge, then just click the link in the description.