Her Discussions by Dr Faye - I Said YES twice... the Full Engagement Story

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

How do you actually know if they’re the one?This week’s episode is a little more personal… and a lot more special.After sharing my engagement news, I was flooded with messages, questions, and stories from so many of you. So instead of just telling the story, I wanted to turn this into something deeper… a proper conversation about love, commitment, and the decisions that shape your life. Because saying “yes” is about everything that comes before it… and everything that comes after.Whether you’re in a relationship, questioning one, or just curious about what it really means to find your person, hopefully you’ll find this episode helpful.**What I cover:**🤍 The full engagement story ✨ How to actually know if they’re *the one*🫣 When proposals don’t go to plan🙅‍♀️ Why you shouldn’t settle💒 What marriage means to meAs always, please let me know if you enjoyed the episode in the comments and if you have any feedback :))🔔 Join the HERd* broadcast channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbY4liwxlLnewx4H/?igsh=MWhuaXFweGtucTB3cA==📱 Find us on socials: Instagram & Tiktok - @drfayebate Podcast Instagram & Tiktok: @herdiscussionspod📩 Want to reach out?Email: [e-mail]🛑 Disclaimers:Opinions are my own. This content is for educational / entertainment purposes and not medical or financial advice.

Welcome to a horrifically narcissistic episode of Her Discussions podcast because, guys, I am engaged. You would not believe it because there is not any ring. However, I will explain that a little bit later on. And I promise this is actually not as self-indulgent as it may initially appear. I, of course, want to tell you all about my engagement, especially because you have been here since the very beginning of. this relationship. I really want to give you the biggest debrief of my life. But on top of all of that, I promise I am not actually just using this as an excuse to speak all about my engagement. I have learned so many extremely personal lessons from this experience. Extremely personal things about my relationship, extremely personal things about emotional issues I probably have to work on. And I truly believe that one of the most important decisions that we make in this life is who we choose to spend it with.

The person that you marry is the most important business partner. And so many questions that you sent in on the Heard Instagram broadcast channel were actually not even about the engagement, but how to decide whether someone is that person that you would like to spend the rest of your life with. So, as narcissistic and self-indulgent as this is, I'm going to be covering all of it. The ring, the proposal, how I knew this was the right decision. But before I get into any of that, if you have not done already, please subscribe or leave a five-star review if you're on Spotify. I promise it does help us bring you guests to help you live a happier, healthier life. Just not right now. I am the guest.

There were so many questions about the ring, the proposal plan, the wedding, and of course, even crocs. But I'm going to start with, did you discuss when you wanted to get engaged? I feel like the woman who wants to get engaged is such an awful archetype for women. But at the same time, I am someone who did want to be surprised. I did want the big romantic gesture. On one hand, I am a control freak. Every single area of my life is extremely well thought out. and I'm going to be completely honest,

I really, really, really struggled with this area of uncertainty being when I would get engaged. Now, if you think that I'm a hypocrite, fair enough, you do you. I think it isn't completely understandable why someone would once know when they are getting married,

but also would like to have that old-fashioned, romantic surprise. That does not make me any less of a feminist or backwards in any way, shape or form. Guys, we live in a world where the gender pay gap exists. We live in a world where women take on all this unpaid labour. There is so much gender inequality that exists.

Do not come after me for wanting a romantic gesture at a man to get down on one knee. At the same time, this whole process has brought up a lot of things for me in terms of why I feel the need to be in control all the time, where that stems from, what childhood experiences have led me to this place where I really struggle with. with not knowing what's going on. I will come on to the ring a little bit later, but we went ring shopping last year and there are pros and cons for ring shopping. My parents are married. Marriage is something that is important to me. Again, if that's not important to you, leave me alone. Okay, leave me alone. Every woman is different and that is absolutely okay.

My mum is religious and my dad is not religious. However, my dad said the most beautiful thing when it comes to weddings and marriage that has always stuck with me. The one opportunity you have to declare your love for a person in front of all the people you love. And I love that. I know there's the crazy statistics about half of marriages end in divorce, but I just think that is really, really, really, really beautiful, whether it's religious or not, and that has always been important to me. Another argument I have for marriage is there are only two occasions where you can get everyone you love,

one room and one of them you are dead for. So I think marriage is important to me, but the symbolic idea of a wedding as an opportunity to get everyone you love in one room and spend it with the person you love most in the world is something I 100% get behind. Do I think there are some historical issues that stem from the patriarchy? Yes, of course, will my dad probably still give me away? Yes, my fiancé's parents have been together for the whole of my fiance's life. However, they only got married two years ago. And they got married for financial reasons. It wasn't something that was necessarily important for them. They just realised that if one of them was to die, the other one would not have access to the other one's pension, which just seems ridiculous for two people

who've been living together for almost 30 years. And even though this is really personal, I am sharing it because I do not think these nuanced conversations are happening enough. I think you see the pretty engagement picture and not the trickier conversations that come alongside that. However, when I speak to a lot of my friends, they are having the exact same conversations with their partners. So I am putting a lot of personal stuff on the line here because I do not think it's spoken about enough. So learning point from that is I think it's really important to try and see where the other person is coming from in their views of marriage and a wedding because a lot of people grew up around divorce or cheating and that really impacts how you view a marriage.

So yes, we did discuss it. Were all of those discussions easy? No. Are we so much stronger from those discussions? One gazillion percent. I think we understand each other so much better because of those conversations. If so, was it much of a surprise or did you know it was happening sometime this year? I was extremely suspicious, as you may be able to tell by the colour of my nail. My fiancé booked a surprise trip to Paris in December. That, I was quite suspicious for that, but not extremely suspicious because my boyfriend hates Paris. My boyfriend is not a huge lever of Paris, which was why it was so nice that he booked this

surprise trip because he knew that I wanted to go. I didn't think he'd propose in Paris, but I did have maybe a little hunch. When we went to India, I thought maybe it might happen in India, but I didn't want it to because I don't think that's a cool look to get proposed to and then rock up at someone else's wedding. Personally, not what I wanted. However, this trip, there is a secret project that I am working on that I cannot speak about. And when I found out about this secret project, I suggested to him that we went away for me to get a head start on the secret project. So just remove distractions, sit and work in a different environment because I feel the most creative when I remove myself from my everyday life.

I think when I'm in my everyday life, I fall into the patterns of every day. And that makes lateral thinking a little bit more tricky for me. When I said this to my boyfriend, I noticed how he latched onto this rather quickly. Bearing of mind, it was going to be a work trip for me. A week later, he said he'd booked this trip. And when he showed me where he'd booked, he didn't show me the booking. He showed me screenshots, which I thought was suspicious, number one. I was pretty suspicious.

and then my manager sent me a message about a brand trip that I'm going on in April and she said, they've offered you a plus one. I think it's a trip where you'd normally take Dylan, so I've put Dylan down. Now, I thought that was odd because for her to make the assumption that I would want my boyfriend there, I would want my boyfriend there, but it seemed fishy. So that threw me off the scent for Finland. However, he had also booked everything, which isn't unlike him. He is the person who looks after the important stuff in our relationship. He was just being suss. He was being really suss. We were supposed to arrive on the 11th, be there for the 12th, 13th and go home on the 14th. So I knew if it was going to be this trip, but he probably wouldn't do it on a day that we were

travelling. He wouldn't do it on Friday the 13th and he wouldn't do it on the day that we were leaving. So that just left the 12th. So at least I knew that if it doesn't happen on the 12th, is not going to happen on this trip and I can kind of relax. I had my suspicions, but I find managing expectations quite difficult. So I was really, really, really tossing up whether I got my nails done. They're a bit ducy right now. Please ignore them. Because I felt like getting my nails done was setting my expectations.

And if it didn't happen on this trip, then I would maybe be disappointed. So I really was, I'm in Naring, do I get my nails done? Do I not get my nails done? Anyway, nothing about the trip went to plan. and I will explain that a little bit later on when I talk about what actually happened for the proposal. The next question is possibly the most important. How did you know your fiancé was the one? I love every single cell in that man's body.

He is just the most wonderful, kind, generous human being in the world. However, controversial opinion. I do not think that love is enough. I think this is the most important business partner you will have in your entire life. There are three ingredients that I would say helped me make this decision. Number one, love, you have to love this person. You have to fancy the pants off them. That is a giving.

Number two, your values and what you want in life have to be aligned. On the flight over, this is going to sound so, so, so stupid, but on the way over when we were on the flight and I was very, very suspicious that it was going to happen the next day. We were watching Louis through. When the weather cools down, Golden Nugget Online Casino turns up the This winner, make any moment golden and play thousands of games like her new slot Wolf It Up and all the fan-favored Hoff and puff games. Whether you're curled up on the couch or taking five between snow shovels, play winner's hottest collection of slots.

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Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggetcasino.com for details. Please play responsibly. It's a new documentary, The Manosphere. and just the commentary that he was given as we were watching it and the way that I could see it was making him as angry as it was making me it just was a really, really, really nice reminder. This is someone who holds the same values as me

and values that I hold incredibly close to my heart and I'm not saying that you should make a decision about whether you want to marry someone based on their reaction to the Louis Thoreau-Mannosphere documentary. I'm saying that there are multiple experiences that I've had with this man over the last four years where he has shown time and time and time again that we care about similar things, we have similar views of the world, we want similar things from our life. I also think when I met my fiance, I was in a bit of a place where I think where I was trying to be

someone that I'm not. I wasn't very comfortable in my own skin. I wasn't very comfortable in who I was as a person and what I've loved over the last four years is feeling so loved and so accepted for who I am at my core and that being encouraged and we should all strive to connect to our own authentic self independently without the need for someone else but having someone in your life who brings out that truest vision of yourself is just the most glaring sign that that is the right person for you. And my third ingredient is definitely relates to the point that this is the most important business partner that you'll ever be with in your entire life.

And that is, all of my weaknesses are his strength. So, for example, I am extremely chaotic. He is the calmest, most patient person in the whole wide world. I will shortly be explaining how I almost ruined the proposal by missing. our flight. And when I tell you, it was completely my fault. And this man, I was saying to him, I'm so, so, so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And this man was saying, no, it's both our faults. Don't worry. When it just was not, it absolutely was not both our faults. It was absolutely my fault. He is just, oh, he is the human embodiment of nervous system regulation. Like, his strengths and my

weaknesses, we complement each other extremely well. However, he never, ever, ever has made me feel less than for my weaknesses. When someone is very, very different to you, there can be a tendency for them to maybe judge your differences. And he embraces my differences, my quirks, and I embrace his differences and his quirks. So those are my three ingredients, if that have helped. me make that decision and when I was really, really, really struggling with the anxiety of not knowing what was going on, when it would happen, how I would plan my life because a wedding is a huge thing to factor into your life plans, like my five year plan didn't have this huge, huge thing in it, which is why I think the whole archetype of the woman wanting an engagement is just so,

so so damaging because it completely neglects the fact that we don't have oversight over that big, big, big event in our life or where it's going to come. Anyway, tangent over. When I was struggling with these feelings of not being in control, I sat with the most important question of them all, which is why this is the person that you want to be with for the rest of your life. And remind myself that that was the most important part, did really, really help. Okay, the ring. Easily my favourite part of the proposal story because it began 14 months ago in Argentina. Now, I was sat at lunch opposite a girlian stem called Karen and Karen had just started a fine jewelry business with her sister, where they took gold from recycled electronics and made them into the most beautiful jewelry you could

possibly imagine. And at the time, she hadn't applied for any grad jobs. She was clearly quite anxious about this new venture, but was so, so, so, so passionate about her business called Incadour. And I remember who telling me the name of the business and just getting goosebumps. You know, when you hear someone talk about something so passionately, and especially another woman where you hear them talk about their passions and you just think, God, every bone in my box, once you to succeed, I could see that she was anxious about it as a new founder. Clearly, my cup was so full being around a lot of really inspirational people. I just remember so many of the conversations that we had in Argentina being so inspiring hearing wonderful people doing wonderful things. I came home,

I tell my boyfriend and spoke about Karen and her jewelry business. Anyway, myself, my boyfriend, and when ring shopping, we will come on to whether I think that ring shopping is a good or bad idea in just a moment. But we went ring shopping to two ringshops. The main reason I wanted to go ring shopping was to try on the different shapes on my finger to see which looked right on my finger. I've also got really, really, really small fingers. So even just getting an idea of sizing, of what sized stones looked a bit too big on my finger or, you know, know, I did want a big rock. What can I say? I did want a big rock. But getting that size is quite important. So this first ring shop that we went into, he brought out these rings that just looked

like toy rings that you wore when you were three, four years old. They were super blingy, super bejazzled, which isn't the vibe that I wanted. And I really wanted a pear-shaped stone because there is a pear tree at the bottom of my home in North Wales. I have a... pair tattoo on my uncle. You probably can't see it. But I like the idea of having a pair. However, I think a pair engagement ring can look a little bit funny depending on your handshape. So I just wanted to try them on. And this man in this ring shop said, when I said, oh, have you got any pairs that I could try on? He said, oh, no, I don't, but someone's brought their engagement ringings clean. So you can just try that on, which really icked me out. That gave me such a bad vibe. I, yeah, did not like that.

It felt very odd putting on someone else's engagement ring that they did not consent to me putting on. Left that ring shop. He also asked Dylan his budget in front of me, which Dylan was clearly like not very comfortable with and it just wasn't a nice experience at all. Then the next ring shop we went to was a much bigger jewel is, was a much bigger jewelers. So, they had a much better selection of stones. She even blew tacked two pair diamonds onto a ring so I could get an idea of what two pair diamonds look together. And that was super useful. That was the first time I tried on one pair by itself and realized I didn't like the way it looked on my finger and then tried on the two pairs. And I really, really, really loved the two pairs. I've got quite short, stumpy fingers. And I've found that narrower stones on stumpy fingers just make your fingers look stumpyer. whereas the wider stones give this illusion of elongating your fingers. But I tried on quite a few rings and I gave Dylan verbal feedback on which rings I liked, which I didn't, but left the final decision up to him.

However, when I left the ring shop, I did feel as though it was a big, big, big, jewelers. It didn't feel personal and I did really hope that he would go with maybe a smaller jeweler for the ring. Little did I know this man had listened to me talking about Karen and Inkador. So when I got proposed it, there was a note from Alice and Karen from Incadour and that was when I put two and two together, which was such a beautiful surprise. And one of those moments where you just feel so loved, so seen, so listened to, which Dylan said that when he met Karen, Karen spoke about how I'd spoken about Dylan really fondly. I'd spoken about Karen and Incadour really fondly to Dylan. So it felt like there was just that real personal connection, which I love.

And then Dylan had planned a dinner for the evening, and that was our big, big, big debrief. And he took me through the 72 email long chain of emails of him designing this ring. He added a sapphire on the big diamond and an emerald on the small diamond, which are our birthstones. And he designed the band. So it's got this beautiful, beautiful detail. I put a video on screen now because I'm just going to butcher the description. And when he was showing me the emails of him making all these suggestions, there were these sketches where he'd drawn how he wanted the band to look,

which, yeah, just seeing the amount of thought that went into the ring made my heart burst probably my favourite part of the whole day. That is the ring. I could not be happier with the ring. The reason I do not have the ring right now is because it was just a little bit too big on my finger. I've gone down a size or a size and a half. I can't quite remember. I should have it back in a week and I am missing it a lot. Dylan, he is getting it insured. However, I'm still really incisive about whether I want to get a fake ring. I have ADHD. I have gone through seven pairs of AirPods. Seven. I am extremely concerned.

being trusted with such a beautiful piece of jewelry. I truly, truly believe that jewellery should be worn. I personally don't own jewelry that holds significant financial value because jewelry should be enjoyed and worn. However, this is an extremely special and personal piece of jewelry that I would be devastated if I lost, even if it is insured. You can't replace that ring that was given to you on that day. So part of me never wants to take it out the country or never wear it because I'm so scared of losing it. However, I also think that there is safety in always having the ring on your finger because then you always know where it is. So if you have any advice on whether you think a replica is a good idea or if there are any ring brands that do wonderful replicas, then please do a goal of favour. Let me know in the comments, especially ADHD guillies who have expensive pieces of jewelry because I am so terrified.

I'm so scared. Okay, proposal plan, the big one. Can we get the proposal story? What did Dylan plan? Both before the proposal and the proposal itself. So I have got a proposal vlog that should come out next week, which will explain in-depth what happened step by step. However, a brief overview. Dylan booked where we were staying in Finland. It was this gorgeous lodge with a private sauna, private hot tub, really romantic, really beautiful. And then we missed off light, not because we weren't in the airport, not because we woke up late, not for any reasonable reason whatsoever. We missed off light because I was sat eating breakfast in Weatherspoons. And I said, and I quote to Dillon, I said, what are they going to do? It's way more hassles to take our bags off. And then we arrived at the gate and they said, we have taken your bags off.

The plane has left, which was an important lesson for me to learn. I just feel as though since COVID, every single time I arrive at. a gate and it says final boarding call, there's still a queue. There's still a queue. And I said to my fiance, I guarantee we get to the gate and everyone's still cue in. Actually, that was not the case. We arrived at the gate and the plane had left. So I saw how stressed this man was. And he had told me he'd booked a sunrise walk for the next day. Red flags, red sirens going off in my head. I am thinking this is when it's going to happen. When the lady at the gate told us that our back had been taken off, she told us the next flight was the next day. So in that moment, I realized

if he is going to propose tomorrow, I have ruined it. This poor man, I have ruined his proposal. And I felt awful. I felt so, so, so guilty. He just stayed calm, got on his phone, found different flights. We had to connect. So it took us a lot longer to get there. We did not. Our flight was meant to be at 10 a.m. in the morning. We did not arrive there until 2 a.m. It was a long day. And he told me that the woman who was doing the walking tour had said that the weather wasn't that great. We probably wouldn't get a sunrise. So we'll do the walking tour later. Anyway, okay. So then we have breakfast at our hotel. Our hotel is amazing. We come outside and our guide is there. We get in her car. Her car has a label on it that said Marion's walking tours. I, thinking this woman is just a guide and we're not doing the sunrise tour anymore so maybe it's not happening maybe he has just booked a walk so we're walking up I start getting blisters on my feet and and Marion our guide whips out a first aid kit so I'm thinking this is this is definitely this is a walking guide we're going on a walk we get to the top of this hill it is quite cloudy

and Marion says I'm going to go get firewood my boyfriend is like do you want to go out and get some pictures by the view and I said to him, no, we have to wait for Marion to get back with the firewood. Anyway, Marion was a lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely woman. However, I have spoken before about how my fiancé is a more introverted individual. I got a lot of hate for explaining that he took a long time to open up to me. When I did crack that shell, he has the most wonderful, beautiful, incredible personality underneath that shell. However, with strangers, with new people, he's an engineer, guys, he's an engineer. He doesn't open up to everyone, especially not strangers. Now, Marion was not a tour guide. Marion was actually a photographer. I had no idea that

Marion was a photographer. This is where it's really important to know who you are and who your partner is. as people because for me and my fiancé, the only thing that could have been worse than a public proposal is a proposal with one other person who is a stranger. So Marion, who I still think is a tall tour guide, tells us to go over to the edge of the hill. And I could tell in that moment, wait, he is trying to propose. And I can feel how not just nervous my fiancée is, he's not speaking to me. I'm also kind of anxious about like where, where our walking guide is.

Because it's just us three alone on this mountain. We've been with her for the last hour, maybe. He gets down on one knee. This spring performance auto group invites drivers to upgrade with confidence. From March 26 to 28th, the spring upgrade sales event offers a thousand dollar upgrade credit toward any new or pre-owned vehicle. Plus trade evaluations across their network

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Marion took some pictures and then we headed back, which was about 40 minutes back. I got in the car, I fell asleep because I was so, so, so tired. We get back to the hotel and Dylan says to me, how do you feel? Or how was that? And I said that was so awkward. and Dylan says, yeah, no, I completely feel the same. That was so, so, so awkward. I didn't, it didn't feel like what we wanted it to feel like. And this is extremely personal to share. Again, I am sharing this because you only see the picture perfect proposals.

You don't see the ones that maybe don't always go to plan. Anyway, we crack on with our day. We made the decisions not tell any of our friends or family on that day because we wanted to be in our bubble together. And I'm so, so, so glad we made that decision. That was the best decision. Because the next day when we told everyone, it was, you don't want to offend anyone by not telling them early enough or telling them too late or someone else knowing before or like, say our parents, like, who do we call first out of our parents? It's, it's, you know, it's a lot to think about. then once you start calling people, I genuinely think it took all day to FaceTime people and reply to messages. It was an ordeal. No, it was a mission. It was a, it was a full-time job. And I'm really glad we took the time to just be present with each other and debrief. And Dylan had booked a gorgeous dinner for later that evening. And I was washing my hands later that evening. And I said, oh, do I need to take my ring off when I wash my hands? Like, what do I do? Do I have to take it off every time I wash my hands? And then Dylan said to me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, take it off, take it off. So then he took the ring off me and then I came out just before we were going to go to dinner and he basically did a second proposal. But for the second proposal, he read out his letter, which I hadn't heard him read out the letter and that actually was so, so, so special hearing those words come out of his mouth. And the first proposal, I wanted to be completely honest with you. I wanted to give him.

a big old sloppy snog and I couldn't because I was like where's our walking guide this is kind of awkward if she's just I don't know stood there looking at us snogging and then just the second time just felt really really really really special just as in our little lodge um really really intimate and beautiful and I got to give him a big sloppy snog afterwards. I think because I had this suspicion that it was coming, it wasn't that much of a surprise the first time. The second time when I just was washing my hands, was a complete surprise and it was beautiful to hear him read out the letter he'd written me. So yeah, it was really, really gorgeous. And then he booked a dinner in like an igloo with all the roses. Oh, I also forgot,

when I came back to my room, when I came back to my room, there was also roses, bubbly, and where we went for dinner was so, so, so gorgeous, really nice meal. I compiled all the questions that I wanted to ask him about the proposal, which I will put on the Who Discussions Instagram page in case you want to save it for when you get proposed to to ask your partner about the planning process because apart from the second proposal, that was my favourite part of the day because that was when I got to read the email chains about the ring

and hear about him speaking to my parents, speaking to my friends he had done so many things he had planned so many decoys with my manager so this trip to this brand trip in April he'd asked her to say that I could have a plus one to be a decoy for the Finland trip all these details that came out

I was asking him these questions, so I will definitely make sure to share that list. That was not the end, because the weather in Finland was actually pretty bad. It was really cloudy. The night of the proposal and the next day he'd booked two Northern Lights tours. The night of the proposal got cancelled, and the next night we went to try to find the Northern Lights and we didn't get to see them anywhere. The Saturday morning, the morning that we're about to go, the sun comes out, it's absolutely gorgeous, winter wonderland vibes, and I say to Dylan, I don't. I don't. want to go home. I'm in this bubble. I would, why don't we stay for an extra day? And I'm looking at flights saying to him, why don't we stay for an extra day? Why don't we stay for an extra day?

He's telling me that the hotel was not available for an extra day. And he was very insistent on us coming home. Okay? I couldn't really understand it. I wanted to exist in this bubble one more day. So, anyway, we get home. So I turn on the light in the kitchen. And there are five suitcases in the kitchen. Okay. Now, and then I see that there's a light on in the living room and I run into the living room and there are my five best friends from North Wales sat there. They've decorated the living room. There's a video on screen on the projector and they got me the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful gifts, engagement gifts, including a bride gibbet for my crocs. Then they sang me a happy engagement song. My best friend Sophie had made a video of Dylan planning the proposals. Every time that

Dylan went to a meeting with Incadour to design the ring or when he posted, he got keys cut to our flat and posted them to Sophie in North Wales so that they could break into the flat whilst we were still in Finland. That was so nice because I didn't want my little engagement bubble to be over. I wanted in Finland longer so that we could keep celebrating and not have to go back to real world because I had an assessment as soon as I got back. But I got to come home and the celebrations just continued and I just was not expecting it. And then my five best friends stayed for two nights in London. We got to celebrate the next day together. It was just so nice. We watched, we got to watch 27 dresses all together. It was just girlhood. It was just girlhood at its peak.

Another thing that I forgot that Dylan had planned for after the proposal was the day after the proposal he'd booked in a meeting with a wedding venue in Italy, which was really, really, really lovely because the wedding venue was so gorgeous. I don't think we're going to go with it, but he has been so engaged with the wedding planning proposal. And he said something really, really, really sweet to me last night. He's really excited to plan the wedding with me because we get to do it as a team. And he didn't like planning the proposal because he didn't like. like keeping things from me, which... Green flag. How long has Dylan been planning the proposal? So this proposal, not very long, because his initial plan was after we were in India to go to the Maldives and do it in the Maldives, unbeknownst to me that he was planning a proposal in the Maldives,

I decided to go to Brazil for Carnival with Sofia and Raffi. Yeah. So I'm not sure how long he has been planning to propose. He started designing the ring with Inkedore in October. So it has been a long, it has been a, it has been a journey for that man. And we, he's had the ring since January. And he'd hid the ring above the boiler in our kitchen underneath a panel in the, in the wall. And considering how controlling I am and how I struggle with uncertainty, clearly,

I never went looking for the ring. Never went looking for the ring. And I'm quite proud of that. Was it everything you dreamt of? The second proposal was everything that I dreamt of. Poor Dylan thought that I would want a photographer there because of social media. And I don't think those pictures will ever see the light of day. That's not what was most important.

And that's really sad because he wasn't comfortable in that moment and neither was I because someone else was there. What has always been most important to me is feeling like connected and in love in that moment. but I think that when there is a lot of pressure on social media or you see these picture perfect proposals again and again and again that can really distract you from what's most important which is the person standing in front of you and feeling in love and happy and feeling connected in that moment

it definitely depends on who you are as a person but personally the video that Dylan took a video of the second proposal and when I watch that video back and I hear the words that he is saying to me and I see, like it brings me straight back to that moment. I think it's really nice to have the moment captured, but that does not need to be a professional photographer. What is important is the moment? Because I don't really want to look at the pictures that the photographer took because

it makes me feel awkward looking at the pictures because that's how I felt in that moment. Whereas when I look at the video of the second proposal, it makes me feel loved and connected and grateful and happy because that's how I felt in that moment. Just another little learning point that it's not the pictures or videos that matter. It is capturing that moment and it doesn't necessarily have to be that moment. Why, oh my God, my friends from home when they came down to London to celebrate the next day, we took cute engagement pictures in Battersea Park because, and those people, even though technically they might not be as good as the professional photographer pictures.

They mean so much to me because being surrounded with all my friends, you know, putting in a shift to get these pictures just brings me so much joy. Thinking about being surrounded with all those people I love and the person that I love that I've decided to spend the rest of my life with. I just think that's really, really important to say because there's so many pressures. And I recognise that I would be contributing to those pressures if I did not acknowledge the realities, my own proposal story. At the end of the day, the point of this podcast is for you to live a happy, healthier life. That comes in many forms, whether that is your gut health or your sleep,

or the expectations that you place on your life that ultimately have a huge impact on your mental health. When are you getting married? We are thinking end of summer, 27 that would give us a year and a half to plan. Are you planning to have a long engagement or start planning straight away? I had a call with a wedding planner today. So we are in full planning mode. I've done my list of guests. My mum has 11 siblings. So our guest list is looking pretty wild. We are at 150 and that is pushing it. But my mum's siblings live all over the world and weddings always bring all of her family together. So it's extremely important for me that all of her family are there for her. Also, my favourite memories growing up were at family weddings on my mum's side. So yes, we are planning.

If you have any tips, please leave them in the comments. They do not teach any of this at school. I am lost. As soon as I finish recording this podcast, I am going straight on Reddit to try find the 2027 Brides thread and pull together all the important pieces of information. If recording this podcast episode has really irritated you and you would rather just listen to experts speak about health, then that is completely fair enough. I've found wedding content extremely helpful and if I'm being honest, I have been saving wedding content for the last year. So I do not necessarily believe that you have to be engaged to benefit from wedding content and I would like to document the learnings and information I accumulate on this journey of planning a wedding. However, I also understand it's not women's health related. It's not why you listen to this podcast.

It's not maybe why you follow me. This will always be a place of women's health first and foremost. However, I also want it to be a place where you can actually derive value from the real world issues. And you may be going through this process or planning to go through this process too. So let me know what you think if you find wedding content irritating or helpful or whatever. What are your plans from this point? if I could tell you what this secret project was, you would be telling me that I need to do something to make my life more manageable because this secret project is huge. It is the biggest thing I've

ever done and I'm extremely excited and passionate about it. However, on top of that, I am doing a full-time master's. I am planning my best friend's hen as her maid of honour, keeping the podcast ticking over one episode at a time. and now supposedly planning a wedding. It's as fair to say I have realised that maybe the NHS was not the issue in me being stressed. I think I am the issue. I am the issue. I do not know when I have reached capacity and when I need to say no. Two things. I'm a big, big, big, big, yes person. I'm a big yes person. What can I say? I enjoy living life to the fullest. However, sometimes the fullest means my calendar is extremely

horrifically full. So the plan right now is find a venue and ideally find a planner who will take a lot of the stress off me. If you have any good recommendations for planners or how you found the planner for you, I would really, really appreciate that because I'm not against investing money into a service that allows me to put more energy into the things I'm passionate about. The podcast, my master's, my secret project. I'm not an events organizer, but I also think I'm really scared of getting a planner that turns out to be not that good because what do you do? Like you're kind of stuck if they're not very good. We are tossing up between Portugal and Italy. Italy has a very special place in our heart because there was a holiday we went on to Italy when we'd been together a couple of

months and that was where Dylan said that he knew he wanted to be with me forever. So I and I remember thinking the same thing about Dylan because before that I thought we were going to break up when he went back to uni if I'm being completely honest. Before that I thought that we were going to break up when he went back to uni to do his master's and then on that holiday I was like, oh yeah, no, this is, this is definitely a little bit more serious. I do really love this man. So Italy has a very special place in our heart. However, Italy is extortionate. We told this planner our budget today and she basically said to us, we should be budgeting a thousand pounds per person, which for 150 guests would be 150 grand. It is fair to say, that is not.

our budget and not what we want to spend. So my dream of an Italian wedding is becoming more and more of a dream as time passes. Portugal, on the other hand, offers much better value for money. And if I'm being honest, I would much rather be able to spend more money on like paying for our guests' accommodation or having an extra day of events than having a wedding in Italy. And there are some incredible venues in Portugal as well. So also, if you have any recommendations for any venues in Italy or Portugal, then, let me know. What is your wedding vibe?

I am so glad you asked. I just sent Rafi a voice note that I'm going to play for you because I think it explains it really, really, really well. I do not want my weddings feel like you're in a fancy restaurant and you don't feel like in place. Like people don't feel comfortable. I want it to feel like a family Italian restaurant, vibe, you know, where everything, like the fears are good, the vibes are good, but you don't, you're not afraid to let your head on. Summarized quite well. I think relaxed, colourful, vibrant, authentic, I do not want a posh, elegant

vibe. And the planner I had a phone call with today, the, the aesthetics of these weddings are so, so, so beautiful. Big, bold colours, peppers. tomatoes, like fruit and vegetables, as decorations on the table. Tins of tomatoes as decorations, food ingredients, that's the vibe. That's the vibe I'm going for. Anything but sophisticated. I do not want it anything but sophisticated because I think that reflects our personality is quite well. Crocs. Okay, there were two questions about Crocs. Dylan wearing crocs, I am extremely sorry to disappoint you. Dylan does not actually own a pair of crocs. However, Dylan has, in our four years together, Dylan has bought me two pairs of crocs.

My first birthday, when we were together, he bought me a pair of white platform crocs, which are extremely well loved. And then this Christmas, he bought me a pair of pink crock slippers. the pink crock slippers. Oh my gosh, they even have sports mode. They're wonderful. How does it feel to be engaged? And what was Dylan's reaction to the Crocs story? It feels amazing. I feel this, the engagement bubble is really, really, really, really real. You cannot wipe this smile off my face. I'm so, so, so, so happy. And I feel so, so, so, enveloped with love. I said to Dylan today, I can see why people get pregnant immediately after getting married. The way that when you announce this big, big, big life thing, you are just enveloped with love and happiness.

And when the world is kind of disgusting a lot of the time at the moment, there's so much bad news. This has been really, really, really, really wonderful. And I feel really loved, especially by you. It's just been so wonderful to have gone from vlogging about this boy in the library to now that being my fiancé. What was Dylan's reactions to the Croft story? I don't remember the first time Dylan saw that vlog because when myself and Dylan started seeing each other, I didn't tell him, he asked for my Instagram

and I told him I didn't have Instagram. So he didn't know about YouTube or Instagram for quite a while. I think, again, because I think I was so worried about him judging me, which if there is one piece of advice I want you to take away from this episode, It is be your most authentic self to your core because the person who is meant to be for you will love you for your most authentic version of yourself

for his first birthday with me. I made a video using that vlog and I remember him watching it and being quite emotional and it made him quite happy. So, and I think to come back to the question about how did you know that that person was the one, someone who never makes you feel like you should change. Dylan has never been anything other than completely accepting of every single part of me,

even the most irritating, annoying part, e.g. missing a flight when we were in the airport. And I think I have a lot of internal issues with feeling too loud, too annoying, too much. And he has never made me feel like I'm too much. He has always made me feel like I am loved and enough, which has just been the best experience in the whole world. I remember the first time I said to him, oh, I feel like I'm being really needy. And he said, you can't be needy if you're wanted.

And that. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet, from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter. Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. That just healed my little heart. How did you first bring up that you wanted to get engaged?

I actually can't remember the first time that we spoke about it, but when we first got together, we were both still in uni. So I think it's so much easier to have those conversations about what you would like for the future, when they're not imminent issues. So I think very early on, I said that, marriage was important to me, getting engaged was important to me. So he knew that well before it was an expectation, you know? And we have lived together for two years. We both are on the

property ladder. There have been lots of decisions over the last few years where we've made it very clear that we want to build a life together because being engaged isn't the only way to show your commitment to someone else. What did you talk about to know you were both ready? We have spoken about everything from kids to our retirement. What we want out of life and our values are very aligned. I have already said that. But there's only so much that you can find out from another person. I think a huge amount of the work has to come from yourself and working out whether you are ready from a, I don't know, emotional side. From a practical side, finances are a huge, huge, huge thing. The economic climate right now is just a little bit disgusting. You know, it's horrific

for young people right now to get on the property ladder, especially in London. That was a huge priority for us before we're even thinking about spending tens of thousands of pounds on a wedding. That personally would just not be a sensible decision unless I had bought a home. Another important practical factor is I would like to be married for a couple of years before thinking about having children. The biological clock is unfortunately a real thing for women. I don't think you have to do that. Personally, that is just what I want. My mum and dad did that and they think that that was a great decision to this day because they got time to settle into this commitment before involving a child, which I would also like to do because even if you've lived with someone for

however many years, being married does change your relationship. They're being a legal document keeping used together for the rest of your lives will bring on a whole host of emotions that a lot of people say happen after a wedding and yeah i just would like to get acclimatized to those emotions without involving a baby so from a practical perspective thinking about the biological clock i know it's going to be triggering to bring up that phrase i do not bring it up to strike the fear of god into anyone i bring it up because I'm a firm believer that knowledge is power and power is what helps us make decisions that empower us. So I will leave the link on screen for the two videos I filmed with Dr. Nagler all about fertility because yeah, it's not about fear. It's about giving you guys the

knowledge. But working back, doing the classic awful woman thing where you do the backwards maths from when you want to have kids to being married. Getting married next year to 2027 is a good age for me. Also, you do not have to get married before having kids. Like, you absolutely do not. In an ideal world, that is what I would prefer. But if I'd met Dylan at 32, I probably would have kids before getting married. Especially when weddings are so ridiculously expensive. Will there be a proposal vlog?

Yes, yes, there will be a proposal vlog. Should be coming out later this week. Thank you so, so much for listening. If you did enjoy, please don't forget to leave a five-star review. And I will see you back for the next episode, which will be coming out. be, which will be with an expert and not me narcissistically self-indulging myself talking about my engagement. Okay. Thank you. Bye.