Here's Where It Gets Interesting - 163. The Hidden Life of Martha Washington

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

Over the next several weeks Sharon will be sharing stories about the lives of American first ladies and the different ways in which they have influenced their families, the presidency, and the whole of the nation. During her lifetime, Martha was never given the title of First Lady as we know it. Instead, she was called “Lady Washington” and was held in high esteem as George’s “worthy partner.” Today, Sharon dives into many of lesser known details of her life like her first marriage, her open home policy, and her views on slavery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, friends. Welcome. So glad you're here today. And I am thrilled to be bringing you something exciting, something I know you're going to love. People are always asking me to share more about a fascinating group of people that we traditionally learn very little little about. It's often their spouses that dominate the conversation. So of course, I'm talking about America's first ladies. And over the next several weeks, one by one, we are going to share stories about the lives of our first ladies. Not all of our first ladies were the spouses of presidents. And not all of our presidents had first ladies by their side when they began their term in the White House. So let's dive in.

Let's take a deeper look at different ways American first ladies have influenced their families, the presidency, and the whole of the nation. I'm Sharon McMahon, and welcome to the Sharon Says So podcast. Many of us know the fun presidential fact that George Washington was the only president who didn't live in the White House. But did you know that Martha Washington did live in the White House? Let's just start at the beginning. Let's start at the beginning. That's a very good place to start. So Martha Dandridge, who was the oldest daughter of a man named John Dandridge and a woman

named Frances Jones, was born in 1731 on her father's plantation, which was called Chestnut Grove in the colony of Virginia. Virginia, not a state yet. John Dandridge was an immigrant from England, but Frances, Martha's mother, was born in America. And she was the granddaughter of a colonel who served on the House of Burgesses, which is the first representative government in North America. It was still controlled by England. It allowed representatives from the colonies to make their issues known before the government across the pond. John and Francis went on to have seven more children after Martha, and it's believed that Martha might also have an unrecognized half-sister named Anne who was born into slavery. Martha is reported to have had a

happy childhood at Chestnut Grove. It was a huge home that sat on 500 acres of land, and she spent her day riding horses, gardening, sewing, playing the spinet, and dancing. And although it was not very common at the time, John Dandridge saw that his sons and daughters received the same fair education in math, reading, and writing. So Martha was 17 when her family announced that she was engaged, not to George Washington, to a different man named Daniel Custis. Daniel was one of the Dandridge's wealthy neighbors who owned land in nearby New Kent County, which sat along the winding Pamunkey River. Daniel Custis was nearing his 40s and had waited a long time to get married. Petite, raven-haired Martha Dandridge had him captivated. After their wedding, Martha moved with Daniel to his plantation house, which was called the White House. There were actually a total of three White Houses,

all built on the original foundation of the home that the Custises occupied for several years. of the home that the Custises occupied for several years. The original White House home was stately with large rooms for entertaining, and it had been built prior to 1700 and was sold to Daniel Custis's father. And Daniel had inherited everything when his father died, including including 18,000 acres of land, 300 enslaved people, and this grand home that was called the White House. And it was to this White House that he brought his young bride, Martha, home to in 1750. Interestingly, all three iterations of the Custis White House burned down, but their constrictions collectively stood on the same land for over 180 years. The second and third White Houses on the Custis property were smaller than the original White House mansion. Martha and Daniel, once established at the White House in Virginia, had four children together,

Daniel, Francis, John, and Martha. Only John, who was nicknamed Jackie, and Martha, who was named Patsy, survived early childhood. Most of us know that people who lived long ago often had children die in infancy and early childhood. We know that the likelihood of people living to adulthood was much smaller than it is today. But this is very evident with Daniel and Martha. Half of their children didn't live to be adults. Jackie and Patsy also outlived their father. Daniel died seven years into his marriage with Martha after a very quick and unexpected illness. He died without a will. And under the law at the time, his property was to be divided into thirds. One third to each of his surviving children, Jackie and Patsy, and one third to his wife, Martha. And so at age 26, Martha became a wealthy widow.

Of course, this meant that she turned a few heads. And less than a year after Daniel's death, she was entertaining two different suitors. The first was a Virginia planter of great wealth and social standing. His name was Charles Carter. And during his courtship of the young widowed Martha, he wrote a letter to his brother about how he hoped to, quote, arouse a flame in her breast, which is really just an 18th century way of saying he wanted her to think that he was handsome and excitable. The second was an acquaintance of Martha's named George Washington, who was in the Virginia militia and owned property in the area and was already well known to Martha and her late husband. He had less money than Charles Carter did, but George Washington was a dashing young man. He was charming. He was quick to smile

and laugh. He was an excellent ballroom dancer, and he was always up for an adventure. It took him only two visits to Martha in the White House to secure her hand in marriage. You know, I feel like we always think about Martha as this plump older woman sitting placidly with her ruffled cap doing needlepoint, right? Like, isn't that, you think about Martha Washington. Isn't that kind of who you picture? But when Martha married George, she was resplendent. Their wedding was a very anticipated, over-the-top, grand event in the Virginia countryside. George wore a blue and silver suit trimmed with red piping and gold buttons. And Martha went with an avant-garde choice, dancing the evening away in purple silk high-heeled shoes that were dotted with silver sequins on the buckles. They were the height of fashion, and of course, Martha had her

own money. And those shoes added a few inches to Martha's tiny five-foot frame. Of course, George Washington was famous for being tall, so this would have helped even out their height just a little bit. They went on a honeymoon, and then they stayed at the Custis family White House for several weeks. And then afterwards, Martha and Jackie and Patsy, who were really just toddlers at the time, moved into the newly renovated Mount Vernon estate with George Washington. Martha and George never had children of their own, but over their long years together, they raised many children at Mount Vernon. It's often thought that when George Washington contracted smallpox in 1751, it left him sterile, but there's also evidence that Martha was injured during Patsy's birth,

and it made her unable to continue to conceive children. But George embraced his stepchildren, adopting them both and raising them as his own alongside Martha. By the time Patsy was 11 or 12 years old, she was suffering from regular seizures. And despite trying everything and consulting multiple doctors, some who came from hundreds of miles away, her condition got worse and worse the older she got. And by June of 1773, Patsy died of an epileptic seizure at age 17. George wrote in his daily diary, At home all day, about five o'clock, poor Patsy died suddenly.

Martha was bereft. She had now lost three of her four children. But while the Washingtons grieved, their family was poised to grow again. I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends. And together we have the podcast Office Ladies, where we rewatched every single episode of The Office. With insane behind-the-scenes stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs.

Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve! It is my girl in the studio! Every Wednesday, we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from The Office and our friendship with brand new guests, and we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand new Office Ladies 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus, on Mondays, we are taking a second drink. You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there.

Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Jackie, who was now 19, had met and begun a quiet courtship with a 15-year-old woman named Eleanor Calvert. She went by the nickname Nellie. After announcing their engagement, Nellie visited with the Washingtons at Mount Vernon. In fact, it was Nellie who rang the alarm when she noticed Patsy in the middle of her final seizure, and she comforted her and held onto her tightly until help arrived. After a somber morning period, on February 3rd, 1774, Jackie and Nellie married. They moved in together at the Custis White House. Nellie and George had four children, but their happiness was cut short.

The Revolutionary War had begun, and George had been named as the commander-in-chief of the Continental Army. Jackie was serving his stepfather as a civilian aide during the siege of Yorktown in 1781, when he died of camp fever, which was likely epidemic typhus. So many people died during the Revolutionary War of contagious illness. Smallpox alone devastated the Revolutionary Army, and it had to be especially difficult for George to lose a child that he had raised since toddlerhood. After Jackie died, Martha and George took in and raised two of Jackie and Nellie's four children. Those children were named Nellie, after her mother, and George Washington. And they called him Washi as a nickname. they called him Washi as a nickname. Jackie's widow continued to raise their two older children,

and those older children were cherished and loved deeply by Martha and George. They stayed close to their daughter-in-law and their two oldest grandchildren even after she remarried. after she remarried. During the Revolutionary War, despite her husband's esteemed position, Martha was content to live a quiet life at Mount Vernon. She did join her husband and his men during a few of his encampments, writing letters and knitting for soldiers, but she preferred her private life back in Virginia. That might have been due to the hustle and bustle of George and Martha's open home policy. Throughout the years, George and Martha took in and supported several of their relatives, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, and grandchildren, sometimes for a few weeks, cousins, nieces and nephews and grandchildren, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for many years. Frances Bassett was Martha Washington's niece. She went by the nickname Fanny. And after Fanny's mother died, Martha took Fanny into the Washington household, writing to her grieving

brother-in-law, my sister in her lifetime often mentioned my taking dear Fanny if she should be taken away before she grew up and if you'll let her come live with me I will with the greatest pleasure take her and be a parent and mother to her as long as I live and as Fanny grew up she caught the eye of George Washington's favorite nephew George Augustine Washington and the two got married at Mount Vernon in 1785 they continued living at the house and raised several of their own children there helping George and Martha Washington manage Jackie's children Fanny also helped Martha in entertaining the hundreds of guests who came through their Mount Vernon home to visit every year. After the success of the Revolutionary War, the Washingtons became quite popular.

George's public image began to shift from that of military hero to moral leader as he called for the creation of a strong union and advocated for a national constitution. Mount Vernon saw scads of guests come and go, everyone wanting to know and be acquainted with this power couple. everyone wanting to know and be acquainted with this power couple. In 1787, Washington was elected president of the Constitutional Convention. And while much of the Constitution's writing was done in Philadelphia, George Washington and James Madison spent the better part of a week following the convention at Mount Vernon determining how to begin the government's transition. Two years later, Washington was elected by state delegates as the first president of the United States of America. Martha took a little more convincing. She liked being at home in Mount Vernon and knew that their

lives were about to drastically change. She wrote to one of her friends, a woman named Mercy Otis Warren, saying, I cannot blame him for having acted according to his ideas of duty in obeying the voice of his country. I'm still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be, for I've also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances. our circumstances. George Washington left Mount Vernon on April 16, 1789 for New York. It would be a month before Martha and their two grandchildren followed. Of course, New York was the first capital of the United States. A young teenage woman named Eliza Susan Morton witnessed the arrival of George Washington in New York City to be sworn in as President of the United States. But on that early

spring day, she remembered the scene in the streets. She wrote, I was at a window in a store on the wharf where he was received. Carpets were spread to the carriage prepared for him, but he preferred walking through the crowded streets. He frequently bowed to the multitude and took off his hat to the ladies at the windows who waved their handkerchiefs through flowers before him and shed tears of joy and congratulations. The whole city was one scene of triumphal rejoicing. And of course, it's not hard to imagine that after all of that fighting, after the entire Revolutionary War, after years of oppression, after years of so many people dying from contagious illnesses, to finally be free and to witness the swearing in of who you believed to be a great man, George Washington, it had to be a cause for celebration. It had to be a cause for celebration.

In May of 1789, Martha, Nellie and Washie, George's nephew, who was named Robert Lewis, and several of the Washington's enslaved people began their 11-day journey from Mount Vernon to New York. Think about how long travel took during this time period. When the United States was first founded, elections for president were held in November, and then you were not sworn in until March. And some of that was to accommodate for how long it took to get places. If it took 11 days to get from Virginia to New York, that's a long time. That's something that you have to account for when you're setting dates for things. Along their journey, they were celebrated at every turn.

Their carriages wove through crowded streets. Fireworks were set off. Church bells rang in their honor. And the first family began George's presidential tenure at number one Cherry Street. But it quickly became apparent that the house was too small. In February of 1790, they moved into the stately Alexander Maycomb House. But it wasn't long before the Washingtons made a third move. Under the July 1790 Residence Act, the national capital was moved from New York to Philadelphia. York to Philadelphia. And it was there the Capitol sat for a decade while the permanent national Capitol was being constructed in the District of Columbia. It was here in the

presidential house in Philadelphia that Martha Washington hosted regular Friday evening receptions open to members of Congress. They hosted visiting dignitaries and men and women from the local community for the duration of Washington's presidency. The presidential household functioned with a staff of about 25 people, some of whom were workers that earned a wage, some were indentured servants, and many were enslaved servants. Slavery was legal in New York, and a few of the enslaved people who made the journey from Mount Vernon were William Lee, Christopher Shields, Shields, Paris, Austin, Mull, and Ona Judge. Ona Judge was often referred to by the Washingtons as Oney, and she had been born at Mount Vernon

around 1774. She was the daughter of an enslaved seamstress named Betty, and Andrew Judge was a white British tailor who worked for George. Ona was said to be light-skinned and freckled, so like many other enslaved people of mixed race, she was given a position in the household. And at 10, she became Martha Washington's personal maid. Ona, her mother and her younger sister Delphi, technically belonged to the Custis estate and so would pass to Martha's heirs, not George's, upon her death. When Washington was elected president, 15-year-old Ona traveled with the family, settling with them first in New York and then in Philadelphia. Life was very different in the city than it was at Mount Vernon, and Ona,

who held a very visible position in the household, was often given pocket change from George or allowed to take on tasks outside the home for payment. She saw plays and the circus and found her way to the city's large, free, Black and Quaker abolitionist communities. This gave her new ideas and solid connections and opportunity. On May 21st, 1796, as the Washingtons made preparations to return to Mount Vernon for the summer, Ona Judge escaped. Later, she recalled, while they were packing to go to Virginia, I was packing up. I didn't know where. I knew that if I went back to Virginia, I would never get my liberty. I had friends among the colored people of Philadelphia. I had my things carried there

beforehand, and I left the Washingtons' house while they were eating dinner. Ona, with her light skin, her high quality clothing, and her refined manner from working in the presidential house, was able to pass as a free woman and secure passage on a ship bound for New Hampshire. George and Martha were stressed. They did not understand why she would run away. Martha felt like Ona had been one of her own children. But of course, enslavement still meant that Ona was owned and had no personal agency, no matter how well she was treated by the Washingtons. Ona would evade the Washingtons' attempts to recapture her

and return her to their household over many decades. George didn't want to use force or violence as his public abolitionist ideals collided with his personal life as a slave owner. Ona learned to read and write, and she married a free black man. They had three children together, and although she lived a near penniless life, laboring harder than perhaps she did when she worked in the Washington household, she never regretted her decision. She said, I am free and have, I trust, been made a child of God by the means. In 1797, George retired from the presidency and the Washington family returned to Mount Vernon to resume a quieter life. After riding his horse on the grounds of Mount Vernon one chilly December day, George returned

home entertaining guests with Martha until late. But a small congestion in his throat became a severe infection, and he died on December 14, 1799, with Martha by his side. She was too grief-stricken to attend his funeral, and after his death, she left their bedchamber for good and moved to a small, plain room on the third floor of the mansion. The room was directly over her granddaughter Nellie's bedroom. Nellie had married not long after the family moved back to Mount Vernon and gave birth to her first child three weeks before George died. The baby's presence during the somber

days of widowhood were comforting to Martha, and she spent much of her time with Nellie and the baby, whose name was Francis. Less than three years after the death of her second husband, Martha died at the age of 70 after an illness that had kept her in bed for weeks. Both George and Martha's final resting place is in a family tomb on the grounds of Mount Vernon. In her 1802 will, Martha bequeathed the only slave she owned directly, a man named Elish, to her grandson, choosing to not follow her husband's example by freeing those she enslaved. The Custis estate's 150 enslaved people were divided amongst Martha's four grandchildren. During her lifetime, Martha was never given the title of First Lady as we know it. Instead, she was called Lady Washington, and she was held in

high esteem as George's worthy partner. But she's our First Lady, and I hope you'll join me But she's our First Lady, and I hope you'll join me over the next several weeks as we take a look at the lives of all of the First Ladies to come. It's going to get interesting. I'll see you soon. Thank you so much for listening to the Sharon Says So podcast. I am truly grateful for you. And I'm wondering if you could do me a quick favor. Would you be willing to follow or subscribe to this podcast or maybe leave me a rating or review? Or if you're feeling extra generous, would you share this episode on your Instagram stories or

with a friend? All of those things help podcasters out so much. This podcast was written and researched by Sharon McMahon and Heather Jackson. It was produced by Heather Jackson, edited and mixed by our audio producer Jenny Snyder, and hosted by me, Sharon McMahon. I'll see you next time.