Here's Where It Gets Interesting - The Life of America’s First Lady Martha Washington

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

Sharon explores the life of America’s first First Lady, Martha Washington, highlighting the many ways she shaped her family, the presidency, and the nation itself. Though the formal title of “First Lady” didn’t yet exist, she was affectionately known as “Lady Washington” and respected as George’s “worthy partner.” Sharon dives into many of lesser known details of her life like her first marriage, her open home policy, and her views on slavery. Credits: Host and Executive Producer: Sharon McMahon Supervising Producer: Melanie Buck Parks Audio Producer: Craig Thompson To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, friends. Welcome. So glad you're here today. And I am thrilled to be bringing you something exciting, something I know you're going to love. People are always asking me to share more about a fascinating group of people that we traditionally learn very little about. It's often their spouses that dominate the conversation. So, of course, worse. I'm talking about America's first ladies. Not all of our first ladies were the spouses of presidents. And not all of our presidents had first ladies by their side when they began their term in the White House. So let's take a deeper look at different ways American first ladies have influenced their families, the presidency, and the whole of the nation. I'm Sharon McBan,

and here's where it gets interesting. Many of us know the fun presidential fact that George Washington was the only president who didn't live in the White House. But did you know that Martha Washington did live in the White House? Let's just start at the beginning. Let's start at the beginning. That's a very good place to start. So Martha Dandridge, who was the oldest daughter of a man named John Dandridge and a woman named Francis Jones, was born in 1713. 31 on her father's plantation, which was called Chestnut Grove in the colony of Virginia. Virginia, not a state yet.

John Dandridge was an immigrant from England, but Francis Martha's mother was born in America, and she was the granddaughter of a colonel who served on the House of Burgesses, which is the first representative government in North America. It was still controlled by England. It allowed representatives from the colonies to make their issues known before the government across the pond. John and Francis went on to have seven more children after Martha, and it's believed that Martha might also have an unrecognized half-sister named Anne, who was born into slavery. Martha is reported to have had a happy childhood at Chestnut Growth. that it was a huge home that sat on 500 acres of land, and she spent her day riding horses, gardening, sewing, playing the spinet, and dancing. And although it was not very common at the time,

John Dandridge saw that his sons and daughters received the same fair education in math, reading, and writing. So Martha was 17 when her family announced that she, She was engaged, not to George Washington, to a different man named Daniel Custis. Daniel was one of the Dandridge's wealthy neighbors who owned land in nearby New Kent County, which sat along the winding Pamunkey River. Daniel Custis was nearing his 40s and had waited a long time to get married. Petite Raven-haired

Martha Dandridge had him captivated. After their wedding, Martha moved with Daniel to his plantation house, which was called

the White House. There were actually a total of three white houses, all built on the original foundation of the home that the Custace

is occupied for several years. The original White House home was stately with large rooms for entertaining, and it had been built prior to 1700 and was sold to Daniel Custis's father. And Daniel had inherited everything when his father died, including 18,000 acres of land, 300 enslaved people, and this grand home that was called the White House. And it was to this White House that he brought his young bride, Martha home to in 1750.

Interestingly, all three iterations of the Custis White House burned down, but their constrictions collectively stood on the same land for over 180 years. The second and third White Houses on the Custis property were smaller than the original White House mansion. Martha and Daniel once established at the White House in Virginia, had four children together, Daniel, Francis, John, and Martha. Only John, who was nicknamed Jackie, and Martha, who was named Patsy, survived early childhood. Most of us know that people who lived long ago often had children die in infancy and early childhood.

We know that the likelihood of people living to adulthood was much smaller than it is today. but this is very evident with Daniel and Martha. Half of their children didn't live to be adults. Jackie and Patsy also outlived their father. Daniel died seven years into his marriage with Martha after a very quick and unexpected illness. He died without a will. And under the law at the time,

his property was to be divided into thirds, one-third to each of his surviving children, Jackie and Patsy, and one-third to his wife, Martha. And so at age 26, Martha became a wealthy widow. Of course, this meant that she turned a few heads. And less than a year after Daniel's death, she was entertaining two different suitors. The first was a Virginia planter of great wealth and social standing. His name was Charles Carter. And during his courtship of the young widowed Martha, he wrote a letter to his brother about how he hoped to, quote, arouse a flame in her breast, which is really just an 18th century way of saying he wanted her to think that he was handsome and excitable.

The second was an acquaintance of Marthas named George Washington, who was in the Virginia militia and owned property in the area. and was already well-known to Martha and her late husband. He had less money than Charles Carter did, but George Washington was a dashing young man. He was charming. He was quick to smile and laugh. He was an excellent ballroom dancer. And he was always up for an adventure.

It took him only two visits to Martha in the White House to secure her hand in marriage. You know, I feel like we always think about Martha as this plump older woman sitting placidly with her ruffled cap doing needlepoint, right? Like, isn't that, you think about Martha Washington. Isn't that kind of who you picture? But when Martha married George, she was resplendent. Their wedding was a very anticipated over-the-top grand event in the Virginia countryside. George wore a blue and silver suit trimmed with red piping and gold buttons.

And Martha went with an avant-garde choice, dancing the evening away in purple silk, high-heeled shoes that were dotted with silver sequins on the buckles. They were the height of fashion, and of course Martha had her own money. and those shoes added a few inches to Martha's tiny five-foot frame. Of course, George Washington was famous for being tall, so this would have helped even out their height just a little bit. They went on a honeymoon, and then they stayed at the Custis Family White House for several weeks.

And then afterwards, Martha and Jackie and Patsy, who were really just toddlers at the time, moved into the newly renovated Mount Vernon Estate with George Washington. Hey, it's Jill Schlesinger, CBS News Business Analyst, Certified Financial Planner, and host of the podcast Money Watch with Jill Schlesinger. It's a show where we answer your questions about your money, from investing to retirement and completing your taxes. I'll be your financial coach and help take the stress out of managing

your money. Plus, we might even have a little fun along the way. Follow and listen to MoneyWatch with Jill Schlesinger on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Martha and George never had children of their own. But over their long years together, they raised many children at Mount Vernon. It's often thought that when George Washington contracted smallpox in 1751, it left him sterile. But there's also evidence that Martha was injured during Patsy's birth, and it made her unable to continue to conceive children. But Georgia embraced his stepchildren, adopting them both and raising them as his own alongside Martha. By the time Patsy was 11 or 12 years old, she was suffering from regular seizures.

And despite trying everything and consulting multiple doctors, someone came from hundreds of miles away, her condition got worse. and worse the older she got. And by June of 1773, Patsy died of an epileptic seizure at age 17. George wrote in his daily diary, At home all day, about five o'clock, poor Patsy died suddenly. Martha was bereft.

She had now lost three of her four children. But while the Washington's grieved, their family was poised to grow again. Jackie, who was now 19, had met and begun a quiet courtship with a 15-year-old woman named Eleanor Calvert. She went by the nickname Nellie. After announcing their engagement, Nellie visited with the Washington's at Mount Vernon. In fact, it was Nellie who rang the alarm when she noticed Pat's. in the middle of her final seizure and she comforted her

and held onto her tightly until help arrived. After a somber morning period, on February 3rd, 1774, Jackie and Nellie married. They moved in together at the Custis White House. Nellie and George had

four children, but their happiness was cut short. The Revolutionary War had begun and George had been named as the commander-in-chief of the Continental Army. Jackie was serving his stepfather as a civilian aid during the siege of a Yorktown in 1781 when he died of camp fever,

which was likely epidemic typhus. So many people died during the Revolutionary War of contagious illness. Smallpox alone devastated the revolution. Army. And it had to be especially difficult for George to lose a child that he had raised since toddlerhood. After Jackie died, Martha and George took in and raised two of Jackie and Nellie's four children. Those children were named Nellie after her mother and George Washington. And they called him Washy as a nickname. Jackie's widow continued to raise their two older children,

and those older children were cherished and loved deeply by Martha and George. They stayed close to their daughter-in-law and their two oldest grandchildren even after she remarried. During the Revolutionary War, despite her husband's esteemed position, Martha was content to live a quiet life at Mount Vernon. She did join her husband and his men during a few of his encampments writing letters and knitting for soldiers, but she preferred her private life back in Virginia. That might have been due to the hustle and bustle of George and Martha's open home policy. Throughout the years, George and Martha took in and supported several of their relatives,

siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews, and grandchildren, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for many years. Francis Bassett was Martha Washington's niece. She went by the nickname Fannie. And after Fannie's mother died, Martha took Fannie into the Washington household, writing to her grieving brother-in-law. My sister in her lifetime often mentioned my taking, dear Fanny, if she should be taken away before she grew up, and if you'll let her come live with me, I will, with the greatest

pleasure, take her and be a parent and mother to her as long as I live. As Fanny grew up, she caught the eye of George Washington's favorite nephew, George Augustine Washington, and the two got married at Mount Vernon in 1785. They continued living at the house and raised several of their own children there, helping George and Martha the Washington manage Jackie's children. Fannie also helped Martha in entertaining the hundreds of guests who came through their Mount Vernon home to visit every year. After the success of the Revolutionary War,

the Washington's became quite popular. George's public image began to shift from that of military hero to moral leader as he called for the creation. of a strong union and advocated for a national constitution. Mount Vernon saw scads of guests come and go, everyone wanting to know and be acquainted with this power couple. In 1787, Washington was elected president of the Constitutional Convention, and while much of the Constitution's writing was done in Philadelphia, George Washington and James Madison

spent the better part of a week following the convention at Mount Vernon determining how to begin the government's transition. Two years later, Washington was elected by state delegates as the first president of the United States of America.

Martha took a little more convincing. She liked being at home in Mount Vernon and knew that their lives were about to drastically change. She wrote to one of her friends, a woman named Mercy Otis Warren, saying, I cannot blame him for having acted according to his ideas of duty in obeying the voice of his country. I'm still determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be, for I've also

learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions and not upon our circumstances. George Washington left Mount Vernon on April 16th, 1789 for New York. It would be a month before Martha and their two grandchildren followed. Of course, New York was the first capital of the United States. A young teenage woman named Eliza Susan Morton witnessed the arrival of George Washington in New York City to be sworn in as president of the United States. But on that early spring day, she remembered the scene in the streets.

She wrote, I was at a window in a store on the wharf where he was received. Carpets were spread to the carriage prepared for him, but he preferred walking through the crowded streets. He frequently bowed to the multitude and took off his hat to the ladies at the windows who waved their handkerchiefs through flowers before him and shed tears of joy and congratulations. The whole city was one scene of triumphal rejoicing. And of course, it's not hard to imagine that after all of that fighting, after the entire revolutionary war, after years of oppression, after years of so many people dying,

from contagious illnesses to finally be free and to witness the swearing in of who you believed to be a great man, George Washington. It had to be a cause for celebration. In May of 1789, Martha, Nellie and Washi,

George's nephew, who was named Robert Lewis, and several of the Washington's enslaved people began their 11-day journey from Mount Vernon to New York. Think about how long travel took during this time period. When the United States was first founded, elections for president were held in November, and then he were not sworn in until March. And some of that was to accommodate for how long it took to get places. If it took 11 days to get from Virginia to New York, that's a long time.

something that you have to account for when you're setting dates for things. Along their journey, they were celebrated at every turn. Their carriages wove through crowded streets. Fireworks were set off. Church bells rang in their honor. And the first family began Georgia's presidential tenure at number one Cherry Street. But it quickly became apparent that the house was too small. In February of 1790, they moved into the stately Alexander Maycomb House.

But it wasn't long before the Washington's made a third move. Under the July 1790 Residence Act, the National Capitol was moved from New York to Philadelphia. And it was there the Capitol sat for a decade, while the first. national capital was being constructed in the district of Columbia. It was here in the presidential house in Philadelphia that Martha Washington hosted regular Friday evening receptions open to members of Congress. They hosted visiting dignitaries and men and women from the local community for the duration of Washington's presidency. The presidential household functioned with a staff of about 25 people, some of whom were workers that earned a wage, some were indentured

servants, and many were enslaved servants. Slavery was legal in New York, and a few of the enslaved people who made the journey from Mount Vernon were William Lee, Christopher Shields, Chiels, Paris, Austin, Mall, and ONA, Judge. ONA Judge was often referred to by the Washington's as O'Ne, And she had been born at Mount Vernon around 1774. She was the daughter of an enslaved seamstress named Betty and Andrew Judge, who was a white British tailor who worked for George. Ona was said to be light-skinned and freckled. So like many other enslaved people of mixed race, she was given a position in the household. And at 10, she became Martha Washington's personal maid.

O'na, her mother and her younger sister, Delphi, technically belonged to the Custis estate, and so would pass to Martha's heirs, not George's, upon her death. When Washington was elected president, 15-year-old Ona traveled with the family, settling with them first in New York and then in Philadelphia. Life was very different in the city than it was at Mount Vernon, and Ona, who held a very visible position in the household, was often given pocket change from George or allowed to take on tasks outside the home for payment. She saw plays and the circus and found her way to the city's large, free, black, and Quaker abolitionist communities.

This gave her new ideas and solid connections and opportunity. On May 21st, 1796, as the Washington's made preparations to return to Mount Vernon for the summer, Ona Judge escaped. Later, she recalled, while they were packing to go to Virginia, I was packing up. I didn't know where. I knew that if I went back to Virginia, I would never get my liberty. I had friends among the colored people of Philadelphia. I had my things carried there beforehand, and I left the Washington's house while they were eating dinner.

Ona, with her light skin, her high-quality clothing, and her refined manner from working in the presidential house, was able to pass as a free woman and secure passage on a ship bound for New Hampshire. George and Martha were stressed. They did not understand why she would run away. Martha felt like Ona had been one of her own children. But of course, enslavement still meant that Ona was owned and had no personal agency, no matter how well she was treated by the Washington's. Ona would evade the Washington's attempts to recapture her and return her to their household over many decades. George didn't want to use force or violence as his public abolitionist ideals collided with his personal life as a slave owner.

Ona learned to read and write, and she married a free black man. They had three children together, and although she lived a near penniless life, laboring harder than perhaps she did when she worked in the Washington household, she never regretted her. her decision. She said, I am free and have, I trust, been made a child of God by the means. In 1797, George retired from the presidency, and the Washington family returned to Mount Vernon to resume a quieter life. After riding his horse on the grounds of Mount Vernon one chilly December day, George returned home, entertaining guests with Martha until late. But a small congestion in his throat became a severe infection, and he died on December 14th, 1799, with Martha by his side. She was too grief-stricken to attend his funeral.

And after his death, she left their bedchamber for good and moved to a small, plain room on the third floor of the mansion. The room was directly over her granddaughter, Nellie. bedroom. Nellie had married not long after the family moved back to Mount Vernon and gave birth to her first child three weeks before George died. The baby's presence during the somber days of widowhood were comforting to Martha and she spent much of her time with Nellie and the baby whose name was Frances. Less than three years after the death of her second husband, Martha died at the age of 70 after an illness that had kept her in bed for weeks. Both George and Martha's final resting place

is in a family tomb on the grounds of Mount Vernon. In her 1802 will, Martha bequeathed the only slave she owned directly, a man named Elish, to her grandson, choosing to not follow her husband's example by freeing those she enslaved. The Custis estates 150 enslaved people, were divided amongst Martha's four grandchildren. During her lifetime, Martha was never given the title of First Lady, as we know it.

Instead, she was called Lady Washington, and she was held in high esteem as George's worthy partner. But she's our First Lady, and I hope you'll join me for the next several weeks as we take a look at the lives of all of the First Ladies to come. it's going to get interesting. I'll see you soon. Thank you so much for listening to Here's Where It Gets Interesting. If you enjoyed today's episode, would you consider sharing or subscribing to this show that helps podcasters out so much? I'm your host and executive producer, Sharon McMahon.

Our supervising producer is Melanie Buck Parks, and our audio producer is Craig Thompson. We'll see you soon.