Here's Where It Gets Interesting - The Lightness of Choosing Peace with Barb Schmidt

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

In this episode, Sharon chats with Barb Schmidt, better known to her many social media followers as @peaceful_barb. Barb and Sharon talk about ways we can feel less overwhelmed by the news and negativity and be more confident with being ourselves (the world needs YOU, not a duplicate of someone else!) Barb also shares how she likes to combat repetitive negative thinking. There’s no use in wasting our precious, finite energy on negative things that, ultimately, aren’t going to help us live the lives we want to live. Instead, Barb champions getting to know ourselves well enough that we can make wise decisions and recognize our stressors in the moment so we can know our next step forward. That next step is important, and while it isn’t feasible for most of us to lighten the suffering of many, we can choose to use stressful moments to ease the suffering of someone around us with a smile, a positive thought, or a simple action. Choose to write yourself a good story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Canon Canada. From street interviews to vlogging or filmmaking, great content gets even better when you're shooting with great gear. That's what Canon's Level Up sales event is all about. With awesome deals on their range of cameras and lenses, you can grab everything you need for that shot or scene you've been dreaming of for less.

Whether you're helping that special person take their content up a notch or adding that extra quality to your own shoots, Canon's got you covered. Shop the Level up sales event today at canon.ca. Hello, friends. Welcome. So happy you're here today. I am joined by my friend Barb Schmidt. You might follow her on Instagram. Her account is peacefulbarb and she just has this beautiful smile and she is usually holding up a whiteboard with a sign. And the sign usually says something super profound. And I just love her. She has so

much warmth, kindness, wisdom. And this conversation was absolutely incredible. So happy to have you here because I know you're going to get a lot out of this. Let's dive in. I'm Sharon McMahon, and welcome to the Sharon Says So podcast. so happy to have you here because I know you're going to get a lot out of this. Let's dive in. I'm Sharon McMahon and welcome to the Sharon Says So podcast. I'm so excited to be chatting with Barb Schmidt today because when I saw her face come up on the internet for the first time on my Instagram for the first time, I was just like, I was mesmerized. And so I've been, I don't know exactly how long I've been following you, Barb, but it's been a while, I was just like, I was mesmerized. And so I've been, I don't know exactly how long I've been following you, Barb, but it's been a while. And I just like every single post. I'm like, well, I love that too. So thank you for coming. The same right back to you,

Sharon. I know when you came up on mine, I mean, I just, I love the way you walk us through all of the teachings that you have and all of the truths and the realities out there. I absolutely love it. It's my favorite. It really is my favorite. You're my go-to for what's all happening. You're my go-to for making sense of what's happening out there. So thank you for being you. Tell people if they're not already following peaceful underscore Barb, Barb. Tell everybody what it is that you do. So, wow. It's been many decades of doing the practice that I do of meditation and mindfulness and really trying to connect deeply with myself to be everything in life that I came here to be. So that connectedness with myself. So that's what I do. And I think in translating that when social media came on the scene and I decided, my

daughter, Michelle and I, we decided to start this nonprofit, Peace of Mind, Peaceful Life. It really was about how can we now, we've got access now to the world. How can we actually share all the teachings and all the practices in order to help people find that ability to find a more centered, more connected. And when I use the word peaceful, it truly means strong, powerful, connected. It doesn't mean find a place to be able to go in a cave or sit on a rock and just really be quiet, but really to try to be quiet from the outside world to get connected from the inner whispers and the voices that are always happening on the

inside. But when I first came across your account, the primary things that you were sharing, and you still do share these regularly, is a picture of you holding a sign and smiling at the camera. And first of all, I have to say that I find you extremely beautiful. There is something about your face. There's something about your face where I'm like, woman is extremely lovely. And you have extremely beautiful smile. Somebody is not following Barb yet. It's a picture of Barb holding a sign that says, well, you can't control someone's negative behavior. You can control how long you participate in it. Or another example is how beautiful it is to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged. And I could continue and I probably will bring up some more later, but it's those posts that initially attracted me to your account. And I'm curious

about how did you decide, like, you know what I'm going to do is make some signs. And I want you to take a picture of me holding a sign. I love this so much. So, so I, you know, we'll probably talk about my, but I went into treatment for bulimia about 38 years ago. I was 27 years old. And so when I got out of treatment to stay in recovery and to do the things, I was so passionate about learning from other teachers and reading. I'm such an avid reader for inspiration and mentors and who are my role models and all the things. So I would see a quote from a teacher, from a mentor, from an amazing human being, and it would fascinate me. Now, what does this teacher

mean by this quote? How do I actually live that way? How do I actually figure out what they're trying to teach me? And so I became obsessed with quotes. So Michelle and her, you know, she's my daughter. So she heard quotes her whole life. And so one day she said, mom, I think you should put these quotes out like on a sign and, you know, talk about your experience and relationship with them. And you're the new sign lady. So I said, really? She said, I think people would really resonate

with that. So it was really her idea. And it has really taken off because I think what you're feeling in the two that you just read, I never put anything that I don't already know and haven't experienced and haven't wondered about and haven't failed at or haven't tried to make the best of. So those are two powerful ones. And I think during this pandemic, a lot of people were going through, we can't control the outside world. So now what? Because the outside world is such a mess. And that's what I love about your account. As I said, you really walk me through the things that are happening in the outside world. So then I take my practice like, okay, Sharon said, this is happening in her take on it. Now, how can I actually practice in my own life to the best of my ability to not be overwhelmed and overcome and lose my connection to what I need to do next. So I think it's maybe

it's twofold. It's probably more that you read the quote, which is powerful, but it also, you're reading it from us, from my own connectedness to it. My energy to it is there because I'm wouldn't share it if I wasn't passionate, really about teaching people how they can live their best life. That's my whole purpose in life. I think I love that. Yeah. You're, you're right.

That there is something about the way you look holding the sign. That is, that is much more attractive. I guarantee you, Barb, that if you had just made an account where you nicely typed the quotes and just put those up, you wouldn't have 400,000 plus followers. Yeah. And I'm an artist. I write every one of those quotes and I don't, Oh yeah. And I like to brag a little bit. I don't, I don't do pencil first. I'm not perfect at it. I just get my marker and just start writing it. I, I am a little artist at heart. It was one of my favorite things as a little girl and in high school in particular and calligraphy and all those things. So I love writing them. I love

finding them. I love it. I truly love it. So I think you can feel that. I know that I feel it when I'm writing them and it's, it's just, it's fun. I want to go back to something you just mentioned, because I think it's something that a lot of people who follow my account and listen to this show really resonate with, which is this idea that it's important to know what is happening because we cannot make the world better if we are ignorant to its dealings. But yet we cannot let what is happening in the world overcome us. Because if we are overcome with anxiety or paralyzed by fear, then we are powerless to enact any kind of positive change,

both in our own lives and in the world. And I would love to hear you talk a little bit more about that because I know so many people feel like, oh my goodness, I just said that everything's going to hell in a handbasket. I don't even know what to do. What tips or strategies or thoughts would you have for somebody in that position? I think it's really important to really take a look at who, who are you getting your news from? Who are you listening to? Whose opinions are you listening to? And are you listening to so many opinions without actually seeing what resonates for you? And then stop. Like when I go to your page and I read what you have, I look at your stories and I think,

I've got what I need to know. I don't need to go get opinions from any other people because I really trust what you're saying. And I think we must trust the people that we're reading or we must feel like we have a connection. So that's the first thing I have learned that I don't really, I don't really watch the news I did before COVID first started. I was kind of obsessed with trying to figure out what the heck is happening out there, but it's not helpful. It's not helpful to get a lot of other opinions. So that's the first thing. And then I look at, well, what can I do? What is one step that I can take in the direction that's going to empower me instead of, as

you said, make me powerless. So I try not to allow the news to take my power and what's happening in the world to take my power. Because as you said, then we render ourselves useless really in the efforts of being able to help ourselves and live the life that we want to live and then also to help others. So it's really important to be discerning. What am I going to listen to? Who am I going to listen to? What resonates for me? And then stop. And I also don't listen to the negative thoughts or the, I think that, you know, there's been a lot of research on thinking, so much great research

on thinking. And one I love in particular, we think about 70,000 thoughts a day with over half of them being negative and with 85% of that half being repetitive. So when I, I thought, well, I feel that way, you know, the mind is going down rabbit holes of negativity a lot. So I think stopping learning how to wait a minute, what is true? What is false? What is true? What is false? And not participating in the mind, allowing you to take you down a path that will get you feeling depressed or feeling sad or overwhelmed. Not that that doesn't happen to me, not that I don't get overwhelmed, but I'm really aware and I can bring myself back out. I like Miley Teal's, she said, I'll never forget when she did a whole post on feelings are not facts.

And so thinking about that, I'm feeling upset right now. Wait, am I feeling upset because I'm just in this emotional state about something that's not actually true? So am I allowing that to take over my mind? So I'm really big on the mind and not allowing the mind to be the boss of the life that we're trying to live. I love that. I love that because I firmly believe that what is happening in your mind manifests itself in your life. And I've said this before, that what comes out of your mouth comes into your life. And the words you speak become the house you live in. Yes. Beautiful. And so what is it that you want to bring into your life?

What kind of house do you want to live in? I don't particularly want to live in a house that is made up of puke emojis and insults about some politician's appearance. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that's not an interest to me. No, no. And I think if you're aware of how much energy it takes and you want, we wonder why we're so tired. We're wasting our energy on things. You just said it. I have goosebumps. Like we're wasting our energy on things that don't matter and that are not going to help us live the life that we want to live. That's right. I totally agree with you that, that energy that you're using trolling the comments of some news section. And I'm not saying everybody here is doing that, but sometimes we get sucked in. We read the comments and we're like, what?

And the comments are ridiculous. And they send you into this kind of emotional spiral. And that is the epitome of unproductive. Yeah. It's such a major distraction. And if we can really start to be aware of that and see it, wow, I'm being so distracted from the life I'm trying to live. And then if we could dig a little deeper, what do I need to be distracted from my life? What's happening for me in this moment or in my life that I'm being called to be distracted. Maybe there's something that I need to pay attention to in my life that would, if I were aware of what's happening, I might be able to make a choice or a decision

that could relieve any kind of suffering or anxiety that I'm feeling. So I really feel like life is like a circle like that. If we're being distracted so much by comments and the news and all this stuff, then we might be avoiding something that we're afraid to look at inside ourselves of one little tweak here, one little change here could make all the difference in what we're trying to do for our lives. I like that, that question for yourself. What am I gaining from this distraction? Yeah. What do I need to be distracted from? I mean, that's a legitimate question to ponder. It really is. What would you say to somebody who feels like they have no resilience when it comes to reading

bad things? It's like all or nothing, Barb. I can't watch the news at all, or I'm obsessed with it and I get dragged down and it takes my whole life. And I always say to people, I'm such a proponent of sitting with yourself in quiet so you can really start to get to know yourself. So if it's overwhelming and you can't listen to it at all, maybe sit and start asking yourself what's happening when you do listen to it. What are the feelings that you're having in that moment? And sometimes some people have said to me, I'm feeling like I'm helpless.

I can't do anything. And then it makes me, as you said earlier, then it makes me feel so powerless. And then I don't feel good about myself because I'm powerless. And so as I track that back, okay, you feel hopeless because you can't do anything. And then you feel hopeless because you can't do anything, and then you feel powerless, but the reality of it is there are things that you can do. You can't just solve it in this moment. When we hear a really sad story, I know for me, when I hear a really sad story, I used

to, years ago, get down the path like, it's so overwhelming, and I can't do anything. Now I think, a really sad story, a really sad thing that happened. What could I do in this moment? Or where could I put my energy or where could I put my time? So I think we're afraid to feel the feelings that we're feeling in the moment. And if we could actually do that and sit with them and start being able to talk with them a little bit and understand what is it triggering inside of you that you're not able to sit there with it. I can't really watch violent movies. They really get to me, but I can watch your stories and I can

know what's happening in the world because it empowers me more to keep doing the work that I'm doing. So it can act as fuel because I'm not internalizing the story that you're talking about or not internalizing the truth that's being reported in the world. I'm trying to always empower myself. What can I do? Where is my place here? What is the teaching or what is the thing that I'm supposed to be learning from this? I shift the intention, but in a violent movie, it's not real.

the intention, but in a violent movie, it's not real. It's what somebody's produced to try to give to me to watch. And I don't feel that I want that in my consciousness or in my energy, but what's happening in the world. I want to know what's happening so that I can know what to do next, or I can have a plan or that I can really be effective and be mindful in what it is I choose to do next and be that example of a person trying to do the best that I can in my life. Because I believe one person can change in our when we're in our little sphere here, and our neighborhoods and our communities, we can affect change. And I think the only way to do that is really being aware. And so I would say to the people, start to become aware of where it's touching you. That was a long answer.

I'm so passionate about people becoming aware of what it is that the feeling is bringing up in you. Like, what is it about this that watching Sharon's story is making it really difficult for you to be there with it? What is it triggering? Because that is the key to life. How do we get to know ourselves so well that we can choose wisely in every moment? So if someone said to me, I can't watch Sharon's story because it's triggering me X, Y, and Z, that would be a different thing. Oh, I get it. So I have to be careful if it's about this subject. You really are knowing if it's this, then I won't do that. If it's this, so that you actually become like the master of your life. You're making the choices that are serving you,

but you're not throwing the whole baby out with the bathwater kind of a thing. You're not like shutting yourself off to other things that might be truly beneficial. I feel that. Hey, Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use and greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling Right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference.

Because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends. And together we have the podcast Office Ladies. Where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind-the-scenes stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve!

It is my girl in the studio! Every Wednesday, we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the office and our friendship with brand new guests, and we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand new Office Lady 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus, on Mondays, we are taking a second drink. You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free

Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. I also like to encourage people to change the medium of consumption if they are feeling very overwhelmed by what's happening in the world. And I mean, to be frank, there's a lot of terrible things that are happening in the world. I'm not going to sit over here and pretend like there isn't, but it's just like what you were saying with violent movies, the visual medium of watching the news coupled with then the angry pundits that are commenting about the visual news, plus the chyron at the bottom, which is like continually running, like more horrible things are happening. Plus sometimes there's music that is a lot for the human mind to absorb. And some people are naturally more sensitive to those

things than other people are. And that's okay. That doesn't make you less than it's okay to accept that that is just how it is for me. And I need to read a newspaper or I need to only follow certain social media accounts. And I need to control the method of consumption for my own mental health. We don't need to take it all in. We don't have to read the whole story and get all of the adjectives and all of the drama that I think has, as I've gotten older, I noticed the way people report the news or the way stories are told, they're certainly told with a lot more drama and a lot more creativity, if you want to call it that, where it really, you actually feel the emotions of it a little bit more. So I agree with you. If you're a person like that, just take in the facts without taking in

the feelings of the facts, because we can form our own feelings. Once I read a headline of something, I can have my own feelings about it and I don't really need to take in someone else's. That's one of the things I agree with you, that one of the reasons I don't really enjoy watching the news very much is I actually don't need your feelings about this. I'm perfectly capable of generating my own. Yeah. That's empowering. And that's the point. We're not trying to ever lose our power or our strength or our ability to thrive or even survive in some instances. And so I couldn't agree more. It's really important to understand your line in it and honor it and not be judgmental about

yourself or others and really allow yourself to be exactly who you are. And that's fantastic to be that way and function that way and actually act that way. Being exactly who you are is exactly what the world needs. The world does not need a second Barb Schmidt. It needs the one that there is. People forget that, that we're constantly trying to be something other than what we are. And it doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for improvement or we shouldn't try to be the best version of what we are. But if we spend our whole life trying to be something other than what we are, what a waste. Yeah. When you think of the word comparison,

Michelle and I talk about this a lot and she had the greatest thing. We were talking one day and she said, mom, why do we waste time trying to compare ourselves to others when there is no possible way we can be the other? Like, why aren't we using that energy to just be exactly who we are and start to become happy with who we are? And as you said, become the best that we can be and know deeply that we're trying to do something that we cannot do. Nor if we really think about it, do we want to do. We truly don't want to be someone else. We really love to be comfortable in our own skin and feel like we belong and fit in wherever we are being exactly who we are. That is what we long for.

I would love to hear because what I can do, me, Sharon, what I can do is different than what other people can do. And what you can do, your unique gifts, talents, life experiences, what you can do is different than what I can do. So can you give us some examples of the types of things that you are looking for when you see something that terrible has happened in your community or in the world? And you're asking yourself, what can I do? What do some of those things look like? This is so beautiful because I like to add, when I ask myself, what can I do? I always include myself.

What can I do for myself in this moment to get out of this state of mind or this feeling or this overwhelm that I'm feeling? Because I believe the relationship we have with ourselves is the foundation for everything. So if we're not okay, if we're not feeling okay, that's okay. So take a break and don't do anything. Don't make a decision. Don't allow yourself to go down the rabbit hole. Just, wow, I'm overwhelmed. This is okay.

So when my dog, in the last couple of weeks of her life, I was like in another planet sometimes in my mind. And so I wasn't thinking very clearly sometimes. So I'm going in the drive-thru at Starbucks one day. And I literally, I'm just driving and you can come in two ways. So I went and I didn't see the car coming on the other side. So I turned left and he was coming. So I cut him off.

And I had Ellie in the front seat with me in her little car seat. And I thought, okay, no big deal. I felt a little bit bad. I cut you off. I'm sorry. No big deal. And I got it. He was irate. Holy goodness. Oh my gosh. Beating his horn, giving me the finger,

screaming at me out the window. His wife was in this, like, I couldn't, I can feel the feelings a little bit now. I couldn't even look in my rear view mirror. And so I'm just, I'm sitting there and I'm really bringing myself back to, I use affirmations and mantras all the time. I thought, it's all right, Barb, because I was feeling really overwhelmed. And a part of me wanted to just stick my head out that window and say, what is wrong with you? You're wasting your whole life. So I get to the window and she opened the door and window and she knows me and she goes, hi, Barb, how are you doing today?

How's Ellie? And I said, I'm great. And I said, I would like to pay for the coffee or whatever the people behind me just ordered. And when I left, I was completely calm. So I use that example a lot because it cost me, I think, $5.50 or whatever it was. I cannot even imagine how that affected them. But I do know that that was the one thing that I could do to relieve my overwhelm. I was overwhelmed with

Ellie to begin with, caused me to cut him off. So I think if we can start being aware of ourselves, what is it that's happening for us? How are you feeling? So that you know what the next step is. And so in an external, more things, I remember a lot during the pandemic, when I would go to take the garbage out, I'd take the garbage out. And then when I'd hear the garbage van come, I would run out the door and hand them $10. So I'm saying these little things because we can't necessarily do the great grand. Like you said, we couldn't necessarily cure cancer in this moment. We can't stop the war that's happening, but we can relieve the suffering of one other human being every day. That's what I look for. If I am really overwhelmed. So the man in the car behind me in Starbucks, he was suffering. We've got a world around us falling

apart and he was overwhelmed. So in my mind, I thought hopefully I was able to come and he said, wow, that was really nice, whatever it was. So I look, how can I relieve the suffering? So how can I go out into the world wherever I am? A lot of homelessness happening around the world right now, a lot of places where you could just do one thing, whatever that is, even a smile, even a smile. When I show up at the bank and I'm smiling and the person in front has just been yelling. So I just look for how can I relieve the suffering of another person? But I also have to, how can I relieve my own suffering in this moment? What's happening for me? That's very wise.

I love that. I always like to look for ways that I could do for one person, what I wish I could do for everybody. Oh, I love that. I love that. I can't do it for everybody. I can't house all of the homeless. I can't house all of the children displaced by wartime violence. It's a lot that I can't do, but it's not going to stop me from doing what I can. And if we underestimate the importance of our small contributions and we tend to overestimate what other people are doing, we underestimate what we are doing.

Yeah. That is genius. Buy a book that someone has written that is promoting their books and then trying to really get their message out that resonates for you. Just buying their book, that person may never know it, but you're doing something to help your own learning, doing something of service for someone else. We underestimate always what one small thing. Didn't Mr. Rogers say, look for the helpers? And so I always have lived like, I try to be a helper, but then I also, when Lovey, I think she was speaking once on, on one of her Instagram stories. And she said, when she goes in to speak, the first thing she says to herself is, you know, let me find my helpers. And I just think that we're helpers. We're all helpers and whatever little way that

you can help. And it, you're, I just love what you said. It's genius. We underestimate our power of doing that one small thing and the ripple effect that it has if we all did that one small thing. Sometimes that's all we can do. And so if we can find a way to do that, that's why relieving our own suffering, our own anxiety, or our own overwhelm is key. That's such a good point, Barb, that we tend to be like, what can I do for other people? What can I do for other people? And I absolutely wholeheartedly believe in that, but you're no good to other people. If you are just the person who is giving other people the finger in the Starbucks line,

if that is you, then you're not relieving the suffering of other people. You have to do the same for yourself, what you wish you could do for other people. And how is that agitation? I always look at the ad, I call it the agitation in the mind. How is that agitation affecting the way, the quality of life that you're trying to live? How is it affecting your relationship with your children? Or how is it affecting your relationship with your friends? And how is it affecting your relationship with yourself? And then when you go to watch the news, or maybe when I go and watch your story, the people that are saying that they have a hard time, possibly is it because I'm already so agitated about whatever it is, I don't have the ability.

And I'm not talking about people that are empathetic that just can't, as you said before, that is true. And that is however, and whoever you are is perfectly phenomenal. But what about if it's a desire that we do have, and it's somehow we're being blocked from watching your story or from really getting involved in something big out in the world that we want to get involved in, understanding what's happening for us and where's the mind agitating us so much that it's almost

paralyzing us. It's keeping us. Like that incident in Starbucks, I'm just wondering what kind of a life with that kind of agitation happening just because I cut him off. Where else is it showing up in your everyday life where you're just frustrated and agitated a lot where you might not necessarily have to be living that way? Are you creating the conditions under which you don't give yourself any margin to deal with obstacles that will arrive in your path? Because the obstacles will arrive. And if you have zero margin to deal with that, and then your immediate reaction is extreme agitation, the people in your immediate life,

the people you have the most power to impact are going to be dramatically negatively impacted. And then the ripple effects of that are huge. So if you don't deal with your own stuff, you're no good to anybody. Yeah. And I think, stop judging. We don't know what's happening in other people's lives. I don't know what was happening in his life. About 25 years ago, I was taking care of my mother. She was dying of cancer and I had to run to the grocery really fast. I was like a crazy person. I got to go grab this one thing. So I ended up grabbing a few things and I left the cart in the parking lot because I was in such a panic of rushing to get back to her. And the cart started to move. And this person started screaming at me,

how inconsiderate, blah, blah, blah, all the things you're inconsiderate. Look at you. I started to cry. I just let it go. I got home. I was crying. I was crying. Like, I know, I know. You don't know what I'm going through. And in that moment, Sharon, I was like, wow, Barb, how often do you judge people for just doing, like the man judged me for cutting him off. We don't know what other people are going through. So it changed me a lot when someone is doing something so benign, but harmful and my judgment of it, I always try to say, okay, maybe they're going through a really tough time. I don't exactly know what's happening for them, but I don't want to waste my energy and my life in this moment, judging it and getting

agitated myself. Right. Because then you're producing all voluntarily producing all kinds of negative repercussions in your own life where you could choose to act with compassion towards that person and be like, oh my goodness, their child must be crying in the car. They must be in such a big hurry. I'll just put the cart back for them. And then your emotion following that choice is one of kind compassion instead of like people these days are so inconsiderate just out here leaving the carts everywhere now you're in an agitated state for what for what I love this so much well because come on you know Sharon we write stories in the mind all day long we are always always writing stories. So I love what you just said. Let's write a different story. That person has a crying child. She has a dying

mother at home. They just lost their job. The pandemic's been so hard. Let me give them a break. Write a compassionate story or write a story that might be more true than we actually imagine, because it's true for us. I want people to treat me with compassion when I'm acting like a crazy person. So I love this so much. We are story writers. The mind is always writing a story. So what would it look like if we actually made the decision when the mind starts to write a negative, judgmental, When the mind starts to write a negative, judgmental, snarky, to use my daughter's word, story, what if we wrote a story that was compassionate and made us more open and loving and curious instead of angry and agitated and taking it out then on all the people that are around us when we get home or when we get to work? I think it would be phenomenal if we could start

rewriting the stories that the mind is saying, because we don't know. So why not write a good one? That's right. You have a choice to either, to either tell yourself, I wonder if her mom is dying at home. She probably didn't even realize that she left her heart here. That choice that you might make could affect the rest of your day actually. And then can affect, you know, again, you don't know what kind of ripple effects, so you might as well make the more compassionate choice because what do you have to lose? What do you have to lose in that moment? And I would say you have everything to lose when you're always looking at the negative, agitated parts of it. You have everything to lose because you carry it as

you all day long, as you said, carry it into our dreams. How many times would we tell the story of how awful this person was all day long? And it does affect our work. It affects our relationships. It affects everything. So true. Well, okay. People want to hear more from you.

First of all, they should follow you on Instagram, peaceful underscore Barb, but you have a book and you have a podcast. Can you tell us more about those things? So my book is called The Practice and I wrote that, wow, now 2014. Oh my gosh. Eight years ago. That's amazing. It really is my practice. It really is my 30 some years of coming out of recovery from bulimia. And then really just learning with all the teachers and the masters and my own reading my own experiences and creating the practice that I live today, helping people to start to find their practice and practice that I'm really adamant, you don't really need to follow another person to do what they do.

You can follow another person and see what they do and see how it resonates for you and then find your own way, find your own path using pieces from what people do and what people teach and what they have to offer, but then truly making the practice your own. So that's my whole premise of the book, The Practice. And the podcast is one of the most joyful things in my life right now. Michelle, my daughter, Michelle, she has wanted to do this for several years now. She said, mom, I really want to do a podcast. And she said, I want to call it Barb Knows Best. And I'm like, a little bit more. Oh, really? And she said, yes. She goes, look at what you taught me for 36 years and all that. And so I didn't drag my feet,

but I said, okay, honey, you know, think about it, create it and let's do it. So we started this podcast a couple of months ago. And really, she said, I wanted to just be, you and I talk incessantly every day, just about life. And we're always having these conversations and people are always DMing us or always commenting. We would love to be in the living room with you. We would love to be in a conversation with you. So that's what it is.

We're every day, we're sitting with each other across the table, having a conversation about all of the topics of life that are most coming up for everyone. Boundaries, death, we just did a two-part on death and grief. So no topic is off limit. So we're really going to cover all of the topic, people-pleasing. I think we just did one on people-pleasing, confidence. So I am loving it though. I am loving it. And I'm in the talk of people pleasing. I think we just did one on people pleasing confidence. So I am loving it though. I am loving it. And I'm in the process of writing the second book. So life is really, really fabulous right now. I'm very, I'm very curious and very open to everything that's happening for me right now, because I want to have a mindset of how can I share my life and my experiences for the benefit and help for others? If I, I would say, if I can do it, you can do it. Cause my life was not,

I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. That is for sure. And I had a very, very difficult childhood and a very difficult life. So we are capable of becoming exactly what it is we came here to do and being that person that we are deep within. I love that so much. And so tell everybody where they can find your podcast. So at Barb Knows Best Pod at Apple and Spotify and all of the places where podcasts are and following Michelle Maros and following me, peaceful underscore Barb and peaceful mind, peaceful life, the nonprofit and all of the places there on Instagram. I mentioned the nonprofit, Sharon, because I just want to say that the work that you do internationally to relieve the suffering, you cry a little bit. How you use your platform

to give back and to help touches me deeply, really, really deeply. And it's one of the things, one of the many things about you that I am so drawn to. You're just a beautiful soul and the work that you do is extraordinary. I am honored to know you and be here today with you talking to all of your listeners. Thank you so much. It means a lot to hear that coming from you because you have spent your entire life studying the most profound wisdom and teachers. And so I I'm very grateful. And I'm also grateful to know you. I it's, it's been a pleasure getting to watch you on Instagram. It's been a pleasure just getting to know you and a pleasure chatting with you today.

Thank you so much for doing this. Oh my gosh. I love you. You really are a beautiful, beautiful soul. I love that you have come into my life via social media. Social media can be such a great asset to our lives. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am to know you. I really adore you. Thank you for being you. Likewise. Well, Barb, such a pleasure. Thanks for being here today. And I will be following along. Me too.

I am right there with you. Love you. Thank you so much for listening to the Sharon Says So podcast. I am truly grateful for you. And I'm wondering if you could do me a quick favor. Would you be willing to follow or subscribe to this podcast or maybe leave me a rating or review? Or if you're feeling extra generous, would you share this episode on your Instagram stories or with a friend? All of those things help podcasters out so much. was written and researched by Sharon McMahon and Heather Jackson. It was produced by Heather Jackson, edited and mixed by our audio producer, Jenny Snyder, and hosted by me, Sharon McMahon. I'll see you next time.