Here's Where It Gets Interesting - The Plan with Kendra Adachi

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

Feeling overwhelmed by the constant juggle of work and life? Always trying to be more productive with the little time you have? Kendra Adachi says there’s a better way. She shares with Sharon The Plan for how to let go of guilt and embrace the season you’re in. You’ll be guaranteed to walk away from this episode feeling better about yourself, no matter where you are in your life. Credits: Host and Executive Producer: Sharon McMahon Supervising Producer: Melanie Buck Parks Audio Producer: Craig Thompson To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, friends. Welcome. So delighted you're with me today. My guest is one of my good friends and I just cannot wait to share this conversation with you. Today I'm talking to Kendra Adachi, who has a brand new book out called The Plan. This is a book about time management, but not one of those books about time management. I think you are going to get so much out of this conversation. This is not a conversation about how to 10x your productivity. It's something wildly different than that. So let's dive in.

I'm Sharon McMahon, and here's where it gets interesting. I am truly so excited this morning to speak to my friend, Kendra Adachi. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy to be here, Sharon. Thank you. Your books were not lost at sea this time. I mean, I suppose there's still time, but I feel like they were not being printed. Yes, the last book, everyone. The last book was at six weeks, six to 10 weeks before the book was supposed to be on shelves and in homes. The shipping container of like 30,000 books fell into the ocean. So as you can imagine, that changes things a little bit.

Literally, I got a text from Kendra because she had come to my house. We had taped a segment that she was going to use promoting the book. It was so fun. And then she was like, my books were lost at sea. Words that I never thought I would see in my lifetime. Is this 1847 lost at sea? What are we talking? Like lost at sea was not even on my radar of things that could go wrong. Yeah, it was not on my author bingo card. It was two and a half years ago, and people are still sending me gifts of shipping containers falling into the ocean. Yes, Lost at Sea. It's just what it is. It's great.

It's great. It's bizarre. Well, I'm glad the book has not been Lost at Sea. And listen, I read The Plan, which is your new book about taking control of your time, time management. And man, if it is not what I needed, I don't know. I absolutely loved it. I just cannot recommend it enough. If anybody who was listening to this feels like, I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis.

Maybe that you feel like you are lost at sea. Yes. Yes. I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis. Listen, it's not that we don't understand how to like make a list and check it off. You know, like, oh, okay, at 3.30, I'm going to work out. It's not that people don't understand the concept of how to schedule yourself. It's that the system is rigged against you. The system is rigged against you. I love your time management

voice, by the way. That was great. Schedule a workout at 3.30. That's what my brain sounds like. That's true. I think that's what all our brains sound like. Make sure to eat broccoli at 5.10. Yeah. You need a different list. That's so terrible. This is a terrible tip, too. Eat broccoli at 5.10. That's actually fine with me. I just need someone else to cook it. I'm not going to cook the broccoli. That's exactly right. Broccoli is delicious, but I don't want to have to do it myself. Oh, my gosh. I want to talk a little bit more about why traditional time

management ideas and programs and schedules and all the things, why don't they work for many people, namely women? Why aren't they working? Well, 93% of time management books are written by men. And I love men, and I think they have a lot to teach us. And also, that is incomplete. Their experience in managing time is incomplete, simply because, number one, authors in general, including the two of us, don't really have bosses. Like we do have a lot more autonomy in our schedules than a lot of people in their jobs. And so male authors don't have bosses. Male authors are not typically, not always, but are typically not carrying the mental load of the home and then all of the actual like tasks of the home. But the mental load itself is huge. Essentially then all of the actual tasks of the home,

but the mental load itself is huge. Essentially, we now live in a society that, number one, systematically is patriarchal, but number two, in the fact that it is built on potential and hustle and opportunity and following your dreams, which are beautiful things, everyone. They're beautiful, beautiful things. But they have been in the marrow of our country, but they're also conflated with capitalism and industry and productivity and get her done. And my factory has to be your factory. And so we have to move faster. And then technology shows up and technology is like, well, we can give you more time. But then actually, no, it just requires more of us rather than freeze us up because of what our marrow is. Our marrow in this country is so built on potential and hustle and greatness. Yeah. And you refer to it as the productivity industrial complex. Yes. You say the

obsession with productivity is so deeply woven into our culture that we live in a productivity industrial complex. And you go on to sort of explain what that means. But I think it's so true that everything is about how to be your most productive self, how to 10x. Right. Men are real into the 10x thing or the 100x thing, the 1000x. Have you seen the clips of the one dude, I have no idea what his name is, but he's speaking on a podcast and he's like, people spend their eight hour workday, two of those hours are like eating lunch and talking to people and whatever. So it's really like six hours of work. like six hours of work. I have doubled my productivity by working two six-hour work days during the day. I get up at four. I meditate. I drink my green juice. I work out. My work day begins at 6 a.m. I work six to noon. Boom. That's my work day number one. Then I work, you know, noon to six at my second job. I'm just 10x, 100x, millionx x i'm so much better than all the rest of you right because i'm working two jobs yeah and my thought when i was thinking this is like and you don't have any

children and you have a wife that takes care of cooking that cooks your broccoli for you that you eat at 5 10 somebody else cleans your home. Yeah. You don't have to pick anyone up from anywhere. Right. It's not a rip on this guy. I understand that he finds it really fulfilling. It's just illustrative of how the system does not work for the vast majority of women who have far more home responsibilities than the student. Well, and even possibly you don't have a desire to 10x

everything because if you do aspire to greatness on some level, there's nothing wrong with that if that is deeply fulfilling. But I think for me, I'm like, man, what feels like a really good life? And it's that I do good work and I get to talk to my people every day and I can read for at least two hours a day. Yeah. Like I want time to read. I want time to read. I want to take to my people every day and I can read for at least two hours a day. Yeah. Like I want time to read. I want time to read. I want to take a nap.

I want to have time to cook the broccoli if I want the broccoli. There has to be some flexibility in what a good life means and what we're all striving for. Like what if you're a person who just wants to be content? Contentment is not built into our society.

I will never forget this. Kelly Corkin said, contentment does not drive economic growth. Right. Yeah. True enough. That's what the productivity industrial complex kind of is, is if we are taught,

if the experts are teaching us like, you know what? Your life is actually good. It might not be perfect. You might not be the best at everything you're doing, but like there's a lot of value in your life right now. You're doing a great job. There's no need to buy the next book or take the course or listen to the podcast episodes. And I'm a person who writes books and has done a course and has podcast episodes. So I'm not saying that those things categorically are wrong or bad or

misleading. But if we could just sort of take the veil off of our eyes and go, oh, you mean I can value contentment and being a person right where I am today rather than trying to be this great 10x version of myself that is in service to this invisible future I'm working towards, I'm reverse engineering my life to get to, that's an option I can take. And I'm like, yeah, it is. It is an option you can take. But there aren't any tools for the people who want to take that option, which is why I wrote the plan. Right. It seems like if that's your option, well, all of the productivity books, all the time management books are basically like the subtext is go ahead and be a loser if you want to. It's like, oh, you're so cute and sad. Yeah.

Yes. Go ahead and not meet your potential. Like it's precisely. Yes. Yes. That's why when you read productivity and time management books, you feel bad at the end. Because if you do not have that goal, those tools do not work for you. They simply do not. So the best compliment anyone can give the plan is when they say, I finished reading it and I felt so good about myself. Like I didn't feel shamed. I didn't feel guilty. I just felt like my life is good and I'm going to keep living my life with these new tools that help me do it. That's what I want people to experience. But yeah, that just doesn't really exist in the industry very much. Totally. You say in the book, allow me to introduce you to the first belief that changes everything.

The goal is not greatness. And then you go on to say, but if the goal is not greatness, then what is it? Yes. And so I'd love to hear you talk about if the goal isn't greatness. And for some people, the goal is greatness and that's a fine goal. And there's plenty of books to help you with that. But if the goal isn't greatness, what is it? help you with that. But if the goal isn't greatness, what is it? The goal is integration. The goal is being who you are, where you are. It's being whole. It's not a very sexy goal. It's not one that's like very clickable. It's not a clickbaity goal. It's not a 10x goal because it doesn't have hard edges. It doesn't have a formula. It is, let's be kind to who we are today, no matter what the circumstances are around us. Let's be a person where we are with our feet on

the ground. And we are aware of things like how shallow our breath might be because we're feeling stressed out because a kid just yelled at us because we said, hey, it's time to do your homework. And they lost their S word in our faces. Rather than rising up, like feeling it in your body of this rise of like, my kid will not talk to me that way. And then also you have that voice of like, I'm a terrible parent that I would have a kid that would talk to me that way. And maybe we need to figure out a different way that we're organizing how we do our afternoons. We need a new afternoon routine. And then you've got chore charts on the wall and then you're buying a new planner. You start to spiral out of control trying to manufacture and add edges and boundaries and fences and walls to this life that you lead

because it's supposed to be kind of this well-oiled machine that works the same day after day. That's what we're taught is figure out your ideal day and recreate it over and over and over again. That is not regular life. That to me is not an accessible goal. An accessible goal every day is to go, I am going to be kind to myself even when I yell back at my kid about his homework. I'm going to be kind to my kid and recognize that he's tired and we just started school. It's been a few weeks now

and we're all trying to find a new rhythm and it's the end of the day. And so his meds have trickled out of his system and that's gonna be tough for him to process this disappointment of having to do his homework. All of these things, it's going, I'm gonna take a deep breath. I'm gonna recognize that I've left the chicken

on the counter for dinner and I'm gonna be okay with the fact left the chicken on the counter for dinner, and I'm going to be okay with the fact that maybe we have to pivot dinner tonight because it's better for me to repair with my kid than to make the meal that I said I was going to make today. We're going to do something different. It is being responsive to your life in a wholehearted, compassionate way. Because our lives are not linear. They don't follow the order of the plan. They don't follow our, you know, work out at three, eat broccoli

at 510 every day. Sometimes they do. But for that to be the engine that drives the day is making sure that we're sticking to the plan and we're not letting ourselves down and we're not breaking promises to ourselves and we're being disciplined and consistent and we're, none of those things are wrong, right? None of those things are wrong on their own. But if that is the fuel through which you live your life every day, it's at the expense of your soul. It's at the expense of who you are. It's at the expense of your relationships. It's at the expense of your rest. It's at the expense of actually learning the skills of pivoting around those obstacles that happen every day. You know, the traffic jam that gets you home late, the Chrome update that did not install

as you're trying to join an interview with your friend, Sharon McMahon. And I had to sit here and go, Sharon's not going to be mad at me. And even if she were, that's okay too. Like I'm late because of this thing that is out of my control. It's been kind and calm accessing that softness within us that we all have to live our lives as live, human, messy sometimes people every day that are not at the mercy of their circumstances. That's what it means to be integrated. That's the goal that I want to have every day. And if that's your goal, it changes everything.

I'm Jenna Fisher. And I'm Angela Kinsey. everything. I'm Jenna Fisher and I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast Office Ladies, where we rewatched every single episode of The Office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve! It is my girl in the studio! Every Wednesday, we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the office and our friendship with brand new guests. And we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand new Office Lady 6.0 episodes every Wednesday.

Plus, on Mondays, we are taking a second drink. You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, you say this is a great descriptor of who this book is for. You're a flesh and blood person with a beautiful, slightly unruly life who just wants to get your stuff done, have fun, not yell at your people too much, and occasionally feel bone deep contentment. You want to make hard

things a little easier and enjoy life more often than you endure it. And first of all, that's such a great descriptor. Like if that is you, this is who the plan is for. Yes. Yes. And I know so many people who are like, that is exactly what I want. I just want it to be a little easier. I just want to lose my mind slightly less often. I just want to have my

friends over for a bonfire and just sit around and chat for a few hours in the evening without feeling guilty that I'm not 10xing my optimized routine every minute of every day. I feel like that this is so many people. You just want hard things a little easier and you want to enjoy life more often than you endure it. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about what some of the plans are. You know, if the goal is not greatness, it's integration. If we want to just make things a little easier and we want to enjoy our lives more than we endure them, what kind of stuff do we need to be willing to do? Because if we're going to 10x, man, we got to get up at four in the morning. I assume,

correct me if I'm wrong, I assume the plan does not include doing two hours of working out green juice meditation in the morning, unless that's what truly brings you fulfillment and contentment. That's exactly right. If that is what helps support your being an integrated person every day, then what you're going to do is you're going to be a genius about that thing because that thing matters. That's the whole premise of my- That's the lazy genius way. That's the lazy genius way, is you are a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't. And the things that matter are personal to you. And they also change depending on the season of life that you are in. So there is a lot of flexibility and fluidity. And I think humanity

to that, that you are paying attention to what matters to you in the season. I saw an Instagram reel. I would say TikTok, but Kendra gets too sucked in. It's like they know me too well. I'm like, it's over now. So we're not doing this. The algorithm is real good. It's really good over there. But I saw this video and it was a woman's workout and she had beautiful muscles and all the things. And I saw one of the comments at the top that had gotten a lot of likes was, let me know if you're able to do this after you have kids. And I read some of the responsive comments to that. And most all of them were, I'm 47 with three kids and I work out two hours every day. What's your problem? And it was lots of that. And I thought a couple of things. I was like, man,

there is a different way to handle this internet. Because the first thing is you can have kids and work out two hours a day if moving your body makes you feel like yourself. If that matters to you, you're going to find the time to do that. And that's beautiful. What we need to stop doing is judging or looking down at people who choose different priorities than us. So it's not as simple as saying, well, I do it. So you should do it, too. That's not how this works. So I think even the person who's like, do this post after you have some kids and the person who's like, well, I do it are both the widest parts of the spectrum.

And it's this back and forth of who is doing it better, who is actually right here. And it's this conflation of if you're trying a lot to do the things that are, I don't know, let's say stereotypically favorable, especially for women, the things that are, I don't know, let's say stereotypically favorable, especially for women, the things that the industry really in many ways tells us that we're supposed to do on top of take care of our home and our family and have a job and have fulfilling relationships and go on date nights and all the things. So you have this long list of things that you're supposed to do. And if someone is actually visibly able, let's say, to do those things, the people who are not doing all of those things look on that person with great suspicion and they're like,

what are they hiding? They are giving up a lot of things. They're not telling us about they got a housekeeper. We get really sassy and mean on that end. But then we're over here also, the people on the other side, messy hair, don't care. You know, there's sort of like the hot mess side of things that there is also this conflation of, because I have messy hair right now, but there's this conflation of, I am more real. I am more real because my life is more messy. And if you come into my house, it's like, there's going to be

laundry on my floor. There's just this us versus them in the industry that is not doing anyone any favors. It is just as valuable to be a person who wants to do crafts and play with your kids or make homemade meals or whatever, but you have to give up something for that time. And so you're going to be lazier about your house. You're going to be lazier about your appearance, whatever you want to say. There is nothing inherently wrong or better than or worse than that choice with someone who does work out a couple hours a day. But we have just made it this fight against each other. And so I bring it all back to what I want us to do, what we need to be willing to do first, foundationally,

is to name what matters to us without shame or guilt or apology and let other people name what matters to them without heaping on shame or guilt or expecting an explanation. Let people be who they are. Let people value what they value. Let people spend their time that serves what matters to them in their season of life it is not a judgment on your own choice it doesn't make anyone worse or better than anyone else it is all neutral but we treat it like it's not so that's the first thing we have to be willing to do is to name what matters to us and let other people do the same and that's such a freeing thing to do, to be able to say, you know what, having a gym membership just doesn't matter to me.

I would rather just like go for a walk around the neighborhood or get a walking pad at my desk and just walk during the day to get a little movement in. Because we know there are habits that are healthy for you, like, you know, eating vegetables and going for walks and whatever. Like, those are healthy things to do. But speaking personally, it does not matter to me to have a gym membership. In fact, that sounds terrible. If somebody was like, get a gym membership and go there, any amount, drive there every day, absolutely not. I would sooner just rot on my couch.

I'm not going to the gym. I'm not going. It doesn't matter how free it is, how cheap it is, how luxurious it is. I'm not going to the gym. I'm not going. It doesn't matter how free it is, how cheap it is, how luxurious it is. I'm not going. It just does not matter to me. But I do, however, get a lot of physical activity by walking at my walking pad at my desk. That's my choice. It's not a judgment if you love it and that's your me time and you feel so good after going and you just feel like this is such an important part of my mental health practice. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Me feeling like I'm not

going. I will not go to the gym. I'm never going to the gym. There's nothing I'd rather do less than go to. I literally rather stare out the window all day long than go to the gym. It's not a judgment on you going to the gym. Right. i think it's great if you want to go to the gym but what i don't want is for you to think that i am less than you because i don't spend two hours at the gym right and i think you're absolutely right that there is this like one of us is making better and smarter and more wonderful choices right than the other one is and the other one of us is 10xing our returns on our investment. Well, and that makes me think about people, like I tend to not talk about things

that are like body related because it can be pretty triggering for a lot of people. But I know for me, like I, there was 10 years of my life where I didn't move at all because I had a history of disordered eating and there was so much interwoven into my whole mindset about myself that any movement at all triggered harmful activities.

And so I went through a long season where I was like, anything that feels like exercise at all is actually not healthy for my mind. I've got to find a way to tend to myself in different ways in this season. And it was a long season. And there's nothing wrong with that either. We don't know people's stories. We don't know the motivations behind their choices. It's not up to us to convince them to change those choices unless they ask for your specific counsel about that. Keep it to yourself.

But just from a practical, bare-bones time management aspect of this, there is so much pressure that we all feel that is actually kind of implicit. There's a lot that's explicit, but there's also a lot that is implicit that we don't even recognize. I mean, even like going into a new school year and the planner industry, you know, a January or whatever, it's like, this is the time everybody, this is when you're supposed to get one. And we're just like, oh, I do. You're right. I do. Cause this is the time that we're supposed to start over and we're getting a fresh start and

we're rebuilding our lives now. And we got to dream about our future again. And we got to figure this out. Like there are lots of messages that we are getting that tell us that every single day is in service to a single future ideal. And in many ways, what we're taught is that we are all supposed to have a pretty similar ideal. Like we want to have more money. We want to have the biggest and the best of the things that we can have. We're going to have the healthiest body that is never going to die. I love things like habits of highly successful people. I love things about people's rituals and what makes them tick. But what I actually think is more valuable for us to know is like, what matters to this person? What matters most to this person? And what kind of support do they have in their lives that makes that priority happen?

So we have been taught to prepare all the live long day and that every day that we prepare is in service to something we can't see yet, that's in service to our future potential. And I want us to be willing to be where we are today. It doesn't mean you can't look at the future. It doesn't mean you can't have dreams and goals. But today is worth honoring. Today has tremendous value. Who you are today, no matter what you're bringing to the table, has such value and is worth honoring. I love that. I love that. We just don't start there. And if we began to start there, it would change a lot about how we feel about our lives. You say in the book, too, that in order to really live, you must live in your season. And, you know, both of us right now are in a season of launching books into the world.

Super chill. Y'all, I got on and I was like, Sharon, how you doing? And she was like, getting plenty of sleep. So much sleep. Doing great. So much sleep. Doing great. So much of it is doing great. Not having anxiety nightmares. Not me. No, I was telling Kendra about an anxiety nightmare. I'm getting ready to go on a book tour.

And I had an anxiety nightmare last night about how I realized right before walking on stage in my dream that I had nothing planned to talk to the audience about. And there were thousands of people waiting for me. And I was frantically trying to make Google Slides in the backstage area. And all of the people who work at the venue are like, what are you doing? I'm like, I just need to copy and paste a few more things. So it's all good. It's all totally fine. We're both in a season right now of like being extremely busy with launching books into the world and for other people you're in a season of like i'm eight months pregnant for somebody else you're like i'm in a season of my last baby is back to school i'm in

a season of retirement everybody is living their life in a season. But traditional time management programs slash books do not honor this sort of concept of like the seasons of your life are going to change and the plan is going to have to change based on the season you are in. And I love that you give us permission to just it's not even permission. It's like in order to live well, you actually have to honor the season you have to do that. So talk more about what it means to honor the season you're in if you really want to live well. Yeah. Well, yeah, we sort of assume that life is, you know, it's like following a Lego set. You know, it's like you put this piece here and this piece here. I use the analogy in the book. It's like a puzzle. We're putting together a puzzle of life. And you have your picture that you're aiming for. There's

no deviation there. I mean, the pieces match the picture. The piece has to fit. That's right. The piece has to fit. You start with the edges. You do the thing. It's very linear.

It's very controlled. And we've been taught that that's what living life is. And living in your seats, that's so hard to do with your season because your puzzle could literally catch on fire. It's like that picture does not work anymore. Like literally does on fire. It's like that picture does not work anymore. Like literally does not work. And so instead, if you look at it more like the act of painting, that you are bringing your palette of whatever colors are at your disposal. So whatever energy you have, whatever your home situation is right now, like right now I look out the window and I can see a bunch of construction

stuff because I'm really smart and started a bathroom renovation during a book launch time. That seems super normal to have people in my house when I'm so tired. It's a season I'm in. And so do you know what we did? We had a way to support that season and name what matters. We had no intention of changing anything in our primary bedroom. It was just our bed and whatever. It's fine. And I was like, oh, I need a place to go because our house is pretty small and pretty open. And I don't want to be chatting with people who are installing my tile while I'm really, I need quiet. And so we were like, you know what? Let's get a chair. Let's put a chair in the bedroom.

So I have a place to sit down. What a concept. Because in this season, I need a room that I can go in where I shut the door. Same is true if my kids are getting older and like my son is in high school now. And so he's like wanting to have friends over. And my other son, who's very introverted, is like actually making friends and inviting people over. And they're coming over here. And I'm like, what is happening introverted, is actually making friends and inviting people over. And they're coming over here. And I'm like, what is happening? And there's nowhere for me to

go, though. So we got a chair for the room. You know what we didn't do is we didn't go, oh, no. We didn't overreact because we forgot that we're in a season of adjustment. We didn't like, oh, we need a new house. We have to buy a new house. This isn't working. This isn't working. This house was accidentally burned down by arson in a fit of rage. There's nothing wrong with being like, oh, we need more space. But we just, because of the 10X water we swim in,

we go so big, so fast, instead of adjusting in a small way and putting a chair in a room where you can close the door and sit down and be somewhere. The thing about living in your season, it's not that you like just blindly accept and settle for wherever you are, because maybe the season you're in is something that is unpleasant. Maybe you have a job you don't enjoy. Maybe you have a kid that's really going through some stuff and you're struggling to know how to support them while not losing yourself in that.

Maybe you're caring for an aging parent. Maybe you just moved to a new city and you don't, you're lonely. There's so many things that we're experiencing, so many seasons that we all go through. But in order to create a plan for your life at this time, you have to know the season you're in and name what matters for you most right now so that you know where to put your energy. Everyone's energy is limited. Every woman's energy is varying. And so to know this is what matters the most in my life and my season of life right now. The plan is not just like a cheerleading book. There's actually a lot of really practical strategies. And one of the frameworks that I love about it that is pretty transformative, but it takes some adjusting because it's not at all what we've been taught, is this, I call it the plan pyramid. It's the main framework of the book. And the base of

this pyramid is what matters most to you in your season right now. Everything relies on that. So take the time to name that and honor where you are. And then the three sides of the plan pyramid are three letters of the plan acronym because Kendra loves her some acronyms. P is for prepare. L is for live. A is for adjust. And N is for notice. Okay, so the three sides of this pyramid are prepare, adjust and notice. And then the point of the pyramid and of life is to live, is to live where you are, live as you are, live well. It's a beautiful thing, but the industry only teaches us to prepare. They don't teach us to notice our season of life, to notice what we need today,

to notice how this kid or this coworker or this parent or this partner is acting. And we're like, huh, I want to focus on that more because that relationship matters to me more than whatever this thing is that I'm doing right now. It is adjusting in small ways where you put a chair in your room instead of start to look for a new house. If we exist in this place of preparing, adjusting, and noticing in equal measure, exist in this place of preparing, adjusting, and noticing in equal measure. Because in order for that pyramid to stay intact, structurally sound, those three sides are equal. They're leaning on each other equally. So the skill, which I try to lay out in the book, the skills that we need to learn, we need to nurture this practice of adjusting and small steps. We need to nurture this practice of noticing where we are, noticing what's working and what's not.

And we can adjust a little here. And then that might change our preparation for tomorrow. But not everything is about preparation. It can't be. Because if it is, we're not actually honoring the season that we're in right now. And it's an unusual way of seeing things because of how we've been taught previously. I did a book club with some folks who have read the book early. And so many of them were like, this is so freeing. And also like, this feels strange. Living this way feels a little strange. It's life-giving.

And it's becoming more natural. But it's not how I was taught to live. Right. Because we're taught to 10X all the things and just hustle and strive. Optimize, optimize, optimize. So I just want to give for anyone who does read this book and you feel kind of like your shoulders relax, you feel your body settle, you're like, oh, wow, that sounds really good. Please be kind and patient with yourself because this isn't the old way does have to be unlearned. It is a full system. It is a full paradigm that we have been indoctrinated with in this country.

And so be patient as you unlearn it. It's going to maybe take a little bit of time because we're not used to living in our season. No, we're not used to living in our season. No. We're not used to adjusting in small ways. It's just not something we have a lot of practice or skill at. Yeah. I love the idea of like, if something's not working, you don't have to light your whole life on fire, nor do you have to live in a constant state. This is something that I know a lot of people feel prone to is soon I'm going to do that. It refers to this preparation that you're referring to of like, soon I'm going to start the workout plan. And I need to

do all the research to determine what the best workout plan is. And I got to get the little leggings and I got to go to Athleta and I got to get the bands and the right weight set and it matches and it's got to look cute in the workout corner. There's always this preparation of like, soon I'm going to do the big thing that I've been dreaming about doing or planning to do. But inevitably, because that thing is so big and requires a complete remodeling of your life, often that thing is like, you never get it. And I love the idea of like adjusting in small ways.

You don't need to actually just rent a hotel for six months while we're redoing the bathroom. How about we just get a chair to put in here? How about we just make a small adjustment and see where we are? How about we get a walking pad? How about we get some more comfortable shoes so it's less annoying to go for a walk after dinner? We make small adjustments that improve something, but it doesn't require you to take a wrecking ball to everything you have going on. That's right. But the wrecking ball, the befores and the afters make great content. It's so fun to see. It's so fun to see. And your life is not a before and after Instagram reel. That's just not realistic. I remember when I came to your house, which again was so

fun, and we organized your utensils that were in a couple of different drawers. And it's funny because if you took a picture of us, a shot of us in your kitchen before and a shot of us in your kitchen after, literally nothing changed. You know, it wasn't like you need new cabinets and you need lazy suits everywhere. We painted everything. Like, we didn't do that. We got rid of the corn cob holders that your kids, that you didn't have enough for everyone. And all they did was use them as weapons. We got rid of those. We got rid of so many meat thermometers.

So many. What a weird number of meat thermometers. Why do you need six meat thermometers? Couldn't tell you. So we just got rid of what was in the way. And then we put things in the place that made the most sense for how you used them. And then we were done. And there was nothing sexy about it.

Nothing. Like it was so ordinary. And that's what life is. And I think that instead of seeing that as a sad thing, we need to see that as like a truly beautiful thing. That your life is probably fairly ordinary and you don't have to make it extraordinary in the ways that the culture is telling you to do in order for it to count. You can make small adjustments over time. You can change your mind. You can notice that, oh, currently I'm in a season of three kids and

three schools. And so they have three start times and three end times and they don't ride the bus. I'm in my car a lot. I'm in my car a lot. And I've figured out some carpool things and all of that, but I'm still in my car a lot. And I was tempted in the beginning to be like, all right, well, we got to figure out, I need to get back to big time meal prepping and having like three weeks of dinner in the freezer so that I don't have to think about meals. And then I went, Kendra, hey, baby girl, you don't like to bulk cook. And also you have enough meals that can be done in less than 20 minutes, even though they're repetitive and it's the same thing, you can still do those.

And that's actually easier for you. So don't think that you have to blow everything up. You don't have to take a wrecking ball to the system that you have right now, as simple and ordinary as it might be. Just name like, yeah, I'm in the car a lot, but I'm still home at about the same time when it's time to make dinner that I was before.

That's what's so valuable about paying attention to the season you're in is you actually notice that sometimes not as much changed as you think it did. You know, you don't have to be freaked out by what you see on paper when you describe your life to another person. And they're like, wow, that sounds really complicated. You're like, it is. And then you go, oh, wait, is that complicated? I should probably fix some things, change some things, start over with some things. I call it big black trash bag energy. Get the big black trash bag and we're throwing away everything. We got to start over, guys, because we can't live like this anymore. Yeah, you can. You can. Just adjust in small ways.

Live in your season. Be kind to yourself. And it actually makes it easier to practically get your stuff done when that's your mindset. I love that. We could keep talking because I really want to talk about how to make a better to-do list. And I love your pep talks in the book, but we're going to leave it there because I want people to read it. And it's practical, but it's also just wise. And it's part mindset shift and part real world solutions for like actual human beings with real lives with three kids at three star times in three different schools. And I loved feeling like that was really, really helpful. I'm so glad. And not like I haven't made the Google slides backstage. That is stress nobody needs. No. No. No thank you. Well well thank you so much for being here thanks for just

being who you are i of course love following you on instagram and i just get so much out of everything that you do you're just the best so thanks for being here kendra i appreciate you thanks for having me sharon you can find kendra Adachi's book, The Plan, wherever you buy your books. If you want to support your local bookshop, head there or go to bookshop.org and order The Plan. I know that you are going to get so much out of it. Thanks for being here today. Thank you so much for listening to Here's Where It Gets Interesting.

If you enjoyed today's episode, would you consider sharing or subscribing to this show? That helps podcasters out so much. I'm your host and executive producer, Sharon McMahon. Our supervising producer is Melanie Buck-Parks, and our audio producer is Craig Thompson. We'll see you soon.