Here's Where It Gets Interesting - When Failure Opens New Doors with Jasmine Star

Episode Date: November 12, 2021

In this episode, Sharon is joined by business strategist, Jasmine Star, to discuss how we can succeed even if we feel unqualified. Sharon and Jasmine share ways to achieve your dreams and accomplish your goals - and it has nothing to do with being the smartest, richest or most qualified in the room. Jasmine explains that sometimes the key to success is failure, and that always being the smartest in the room isn’t very wise. Join Sharon and Jasmine as they encourage you to let go of fear and step into success. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, hello. I am thrilled to be sharing my conversation with Jasmine Starr today. Jasmine is a small business guru, but she also has so much sage advice just for life about how to look at life. I really thank people from every background, business owners, people who are alive on planet earth. You're going to get something out of this conversation today. She has so many brilliant little nuggets. So let's dive into my conversation with Jasmine Starr. I'm Sharon McMahon. And welcome to the Sharon Says So podcast. Yay, Jasmine. I'm super excited that you're here. Thank you for doing this. I am so happy to be here.

Let's just give people, first of all, let's set the stage. If they are not currently following you, what is it that you do so they have some context for who you are? Well, I believe that I empower people to believe that the impossible is possible. I do believe that despite the odds,

people can do the thing that they want to do. I do believe that despite the odds, people can do the thing that they want to do. Now, I found a niche within business owners because for me, as the daughter of an immigrant, as a first generation Latina, as a first generation college student, as a first generation, I went to law school and then dropped out, miss. I want to let people know that you don't need to be the most educated and you don't need to be the richest or the savviest or the most brilliant to get the thing that you want. Now I speak clearly, most succinctly to business owners, because I believe that as business owners, you can take an idea and make it your own. And then your finances become a passport for you to live in a different space and live in a

different way. So in my mind, that's who I speak to primarily, but I'm also one of those people who my husband and I will be sitting next to somebody at a restaurant while that other person's waiting for their date to arrive. Nevermind that my husband and I are a date. I'm like, so tell me what do you do? Now, by the time your date arrives, you got your life planned out for you. That's who I am. And that's what I do. Are you an Enneagram three? Oh, come on girl. Of course I am. You spotted me four minutes ago. Yes, I am Enneagram three. What are you? Oh, same. It's so easy to fix other people's problems for them.

Here's what you got to do. I'm totally that person where I'm like, why are you doing that? That is ridiculous. Stop doing that. And start doing this other thing. So easy for me. I'm an Enneagram three and an Aries. Like God bless my husband.

Are you a three wing two? No, I'm a three wing four. And it's a pretty high wing four. So I definitely, the artist, the creator, often my emotions, wanting to feel like understood, but like perpetually feeling misunderstood. Why does nobody understand me when I am wanting to constantly reinvent myself?

This is what you wake up thinking. Yes, this is the story of Enneagram three wing four. Yes. I love something that you just said. And you've said this on your Instagram account too, which is consistency beats talent. It beats money. It beats intellect and it beats fear. And I think that is so true. Obviously it's true in business, but it is absolutely true in our personal lives as well. Can you talk more about why being the smartest and the richest and

the best educated and all the things is not the most important thing? It opens up pathways. We all know somebody who is smarter than we are. And we know somebody who is richer and we know somebody who has been given privilege or things that we might not have. And we also know people who are doing more with less. And I think it's just proof that the have-nots and the haves, the thing that connects that middle ground are the people who are consistent. The people who with naturally born talent or resources or money, when they are consistent, oh, they excel. They create generational wealth. Equally for the people who are half-nots, the people who are consistent and not the most talented and not the savviest and without privilege. Well, it's those who are consistent who get the same results, albeit different, but in the same capacity. And in my mind, I believe this because it's something that I live.

I was never the smartest. I was never the first to speak. I was a perpetual wallflower. I am an introvert on a scale of one to 10, I'm like level 27 introvert. I'm outgoing, but I like to watch. I like to see. And for so many years, Sharon, I kept myself on the walls. And for so many years, I wouldn't let myself be part of conversations. I wouldn't speak up. And it wasn't until I embraced the fact that there's a good chance I will never be the

brightest in a room. And there's a good chance I'll never be the richest or the wittiest, the prettiest or the skinniest. There is a good chance I will never be that at any point in time. But the thing I have realized is that what levels the playing field is when somebody can look at you and your craft and just have respect for the fact that you do it. And by proxy of doing it consistently, you know, more, you act differently. And when you share what you know, and then you share your actions, it becomes a complete game changer and levels the field for anything you want to pursue. I love the phrase that everything you want is on the other side of consistency. When you can start showing up consistently, what you want is on the other side of that.

Absolutely. I mean, but this is everything from free throws. You know, this from Kobe Bryant's legacy, Stephen King, he wakes up at four 30 every morning and writes for 30 minutes. but this is everything from free throws. We know this from Kobe Bryant's legacy, Stephen King. He wakes up at 4.30 every morning and writes for 30 minutes. And this is before he had a full-time job. We know that practice is the point of differentiation. There are photographers who are so much more talented. There are business strategists who are wildly more talented. There are people in content creators who are wildly more talented.

There are CEOs who are wildly more talented than I will ever be. But dang, can I get on that free point line every morning and shoot? And when the time comes, I feel confident. And when I take a shot, I'm going to make it. Not because I'm the best, but simply because I showed up every single day to practice. You've created the muscle memory of showing up and practicing every day. And if you think about that muscle memory or those neural pathways in your brain, when you develop consistency in whatever it is you're trying to achieve, it could be going to school. It could be building a business. It could be just becoming your best self. When you show up

consistently and you develop those neural pathways, you develop that muscle memory. consistently and you develop those neural pathways, you develop that muscle memory. That is the game changer. It's not about reading all the manuals. People think that if you just like acquire enough, you know, like knowledge, I'm going to acquire all the manuals. I'm going to read all the things, read how to shoot a free throw. Okay. I keep my hand this way, that way, et cetera. No, until you have done it consistently, you are never going to develop the confidence to step up and actually shoot the ball. I'm speaking as though I have any kind of knowledge or authority related to sports of which I have. I'm pretty sure I have an iron lung. You know, I have two left feet, an iron lung. I was always the last kid who was picked for any sport activity, unless

the sport activity was like high impact reading. If that was the case, they like team captain. I was like, you want to finish like war and peace in a day. That's right. It also does not help that I am six feet tall. And so people assume I'm naturally athletic, which I'm not. And also I'm not actually that interested in sports. So it creates this weird thing in people's minds where it's like, but how the only thing you're supposed to be good at is being athletic. Why don't you play basketball? How about volleyball? Lucky me. Nobody's looking at like a short Brown girl and being like her, she's the Olympian. So I know like my apologies to you. I also love what you have to say about,

it doesn't really matter if the glass is half full or half empty. That is not the point. matter if the glass is half full or half empty. That is not the point. The point is that the glass is refillable. Say more about that. Well, we spend so much time contextualizing our life and what we have versus what we want or what we have or what we don't have. And we look at it as it's in a status stasis when it's actually quite the opposite. If there is something in your cup, it is proof. However little, let's not even talk that the cup is even half full. Let's say the cup is one 16th full. The fact that there is something in the cup is proof that it is refillable, that whatever it is that you are looking for, it can be refilled. But if you're only ever focusing on what you don't

have, it will never be enough. So the question isn't why is my cup not full? The question should be, how can I fill my cup? And I know it sounds like super esoteric and like a little amoeba-like, but truly the reality of the situation doesn't change, but our approach and viewpoint of the situation does. And it ends up attracting the very thing that we want. I love the idea too, that your perspective on a situation in your life, some hardship you're going through, some business hurdle you're trying to tack, that your perspective is really what needs to shift. And the perspective of like, it's not about how much room there is in the glass. When you shift your perspective

about the glass itself, that is when things change for you. A thousand times over. And you know, I read a book by Dr. Carol Dweck and it's entitled Mindset. And in it, she describes that there's two types of mindset. There is a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. And people are naturally born with one and you can change it. And as I was reading through the book, I am a clear, I mean, I am a 100%. I was born a fixed mindset. One is not better or worse than the other, but it's the cognizance that I was looking at things in terms of wins and failures. And I was looking in terms of hierarchies and I would walk into a room and I would immediately assess, oh, no, no, no. I can't speak because I am not. The entirety of the book was

shifting about how we look at things. Like instead of looking at things as wins and losses, you're looking at as learnings and opportunities. Instead of looking at obstacles, you're looking at as opportunities. And when you're looking at things, not necessarily in your estimation of value, but what you can learn or share, it shifts the way that you approach things. And I am telling you, I had like a brainwashing. It was as if my brain was being washed from years of just junk I was filling with it. And I did, I started doing like a lot of work around what the mind does and how it's a muscle. And the same way that you build out a muscle, say in your arm, you could work on your brain and started reading a lot from Dr. Amen. And one thing that I had read that he wrote was like the average person thinks 60,000 thoughts a day and 98% of them are negative. Oh my gosh. And these aren't necessarily like you're dumb. You're behind. These are things of,

it will never be enough if I just could, or you woke up five minutes late, you know, you're two points short, whatever the case may be. And I started thinking to myself is just being awareness around of how I was speaking to myself and looking at situations. And I am telling you, Sharon, things radically changed. The situation was the same, but when I shifted how I viewed the situation, I was able to rebound faster. I was able to give myself a ton of grace. And all of a sudden by proxy of giving myself a ton of grace, I was able to iterate and grow. I was able to attract the things that I kept on keeping away because I thought it wasn't at the right time because I wasn't qualified. And I was the person who not only held what qualification looked like, but deemed it

appropriate for me to be qualified. What a messed up situation to live in. So becoming aware of the same situation and then looking at it differently became a game changer. I also love one of the things you said on your account, which is that perfection is just procrastination in disguise. I love that idea too, because once you start shifting how you view your perfectionistic tendencies, it changes your behavior. Absolutely. And furthermore, what happens is we use like, well, I need to get my website perfect, or I need to get my idea perfect, or I need to dress my kids perfectly, whatever the case may be is. But we want to do that and give ourselves essentially a buffer to not having to do it

because it's only when it's perfect. But the idea of perfection is an illusion because perfection is subjective. What you think is perfect, I could look at and be like, I think it's mediocre. And what I think is perfect, you might look at it and be like, that's so not perfect. So if we then know that perfection is just an idea and entirely subjective, we're just basically giving ourselves an easy way out from doing the thing that we know we should be doing. So if we were to contextualize this in terms of putting out a piece of content or social media or writing a poem or writing your book, there have been times in our lives, wherever you would put something out and you poured your heart and soul into it. And you're like, this is so amazing. This is my thing. This is my manifesto. And you put it out there and there's like, it falls flat. Nobody responds

in the way that you had expected. And then counter opposite that you could just put something out. And you're like, it is what it is. And then all of a sudden there's massive outpouring of support or opinions or it being shared. And you're like, wait, what? So if that has ever happened to anybody, it's just proof that perfection doesn't exist. It just has to be perfect for the intended person who needs it at that very moment. So instead of stopping ourselves from putting something out for fear of not being perfect, we should just say, I need to put it out and let the audience tell me what I should do better the next time or do more of in the future. Sometimes we use perfectionism and I know that I have certainly done this in the past.

You've used perfectionism as a crutch to avoid actually doing something out of fear of failure of doing the thing. Has that ever happened to you? Oh, I mean, so often the big shift for me professionally, personally was about three or four years ago where I've just decided burn the ships. What got you to the Island? Don't give yourself a way to go back. And the minute you start burning the ships, AKA burned my tower of crutches. I'm just like, how many mistakes can we make? How as fast as we can do this? And actually, I mean, let's just be completely honest is there are people who believe such the opposite of that. And now our team has grown and people see it differently. And I am very, I mean, of course there's going to be like head-butting in a way. Cause I'm like, put it out, let the market fix it. And like, well, no, we need to have like focus

groups and we need to go through testing and we need to do the AB and I get that. And I see that and I appreciate it, but I am just so like, how quickly can we make mistakes? The market will fix anything we put out so much faster than us sitting and pontificating or hypothesizing based on us having a focus group of eight versus what we need to do to serve a business of 80,000, you know, just differences there. But I am a burn the ships, burn the tower of crutches. Let's make mistakes as quickly as possible because this is how we grow. And this is how we learn. I saw one billionaire. I forget which one it was where he was like, they asked him, what is the secret to success? And his advice was fail faster, get started quicker, make the mistakes more quickly so that you then learn what the mistakes are and stop doing those mistakes. Sitting at home being like, well, which one is

a mistake? I'm not sure. I don't know. I'm gonna have to think about that some more. And like, that actually is not useful. Not at all. But I also think one of like the ancillary benefits of it is that your actions give other people permission to follow suit. But secondly, the thing that I really want to like bend into is oftentimes I'm coaching business owners on how to change and iterate and things of nature. So at the time of this recording, working on a project and I could put out the project and let the market fix it, but it's too close of a project for me. So I decided to beta test it.

And I'm reaching out to a small group of people this morning at 4.30 in the morning. I wrote down, this is not great. It's broken. And I think together we can make it better. So are you going to join this adventure and opportunity? Now, not everybody's going to see this. A small group of people are going to do this and they're going to decide to go on this with us. But I actually love the fact that I could stand up and say, this is me making a lot of mistakes. And I want to give you a front row seat to it so that you are empowered to go and do the same with your audience or in your

business. I kind of feel like it's freeing. Like, let me just tell you, it's not going to be great. Let me under promise and over deliver, but be really forthcoming about that. Because you say too, that failure is just a lesson. Yes. Who was it? I think it's Marie Forleo who said something to the effect of I never lose. I either win or I learn. Oh yes. Failure is just a lesson and it's super useful information actually. A hundred percent. And you know, like oftentimes when you take these micro quote unquote losses, and if you want to like truly call them micro lessons, it's if not now, and if not tomorrow, then very, very soon on the back of a bunch of lessons, you will know precisely what you should

be doing in the future. From my experience, I will tell you, I actually don't think that people are afraid of making mistakes or having failures. What they're more afraid of are what people around them are going to say about their mistakes and failures. And this is what I see. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait. So we're really concerned about people's opinions when people's opinions don't pay our bills. And we're really concerned about people's opinions when we know they're going to have an opinion. Anyway, you decide to sit on the couch or go on a run. They have an opinion. You decide to make a healthy meal or have a double cheeseburger. They have an opinion. You decide to homeschool your children or send them to public

school. They have an opinion. So if you know everybody's going to have an opinion, no matter what it is you do, why not do the very thing you want to do? If we know they're going to talk and give them something good to talk about and have them spell your name right. Have them spell your name right. Give them a link to my website. Have them make their own opinion. And I will tell you on the back of a lot of vitriol is that for every person

who has a negative thing to say about me, they'll send my name to about three or four of their friends. And guess what? If I can convert 50% of the people they said, we should not like this person and I can convert 50% of them, I'm on the upside. Please, when you talk about me, spell my name, right? Give me a lead.

I love to, I wanted to talk to you about this, where you made a reel where you're like, I'm just over here building a firm foundation with the bricks people throw at me. I love that too. Just like, thank you for that. I caught that. I am building this firm foundation over here. I had a mentor who told me that, and I was just like, I need to tattoo that on my arm. What has your experience been like as a person who has a large social media following, somebody who has been a well-known educator in the business spaces and photography spaces, et cetera, what have the bricks been like for you and what do you do about them? I don't think anybody's ever prepared for bricks. Cause

just when you think you might have an idea of what it feels like, somebody will throw like a grenade that's wrapped in a brick. And you're like, Whoa, that was a new one. I know that I'm not going to be for everybody. And I know that I'm going to make a ton of mistakes. And the thing that I have learned is acceptance that I'm not going to be for everybody. And the thing that I have learned is the minute that you realize the mistake, you course correct, you admit it, you take it on the chin, you try to make right what you have made mistakes, and then you own it. I think that the thing that is worse is letting it sit or permeate and having a bunch of people I think that the thing that is worse is letting it sit or permeate and having a bunch of people make lies or write even worse things that just aren't true. And, you know, if people are following

a person, myself or you or anybody, and expecting perfection from them, I think that they're expecting the impossible. And so it's like more about recalibration. When you step out and you admit your wrongs, it doesn't make it easier. It doesn't make it go away faster, but at least you can get back to doing the thing that you are doing, which is trying to learn how to get better and own what was a massive shortcut. I'm Jenna Fisher and I'm Angela Kinsey. We are best friends and together we have the podcast office ladies, where we rewatched every single episode of the office with insane behind the scenes stories, hilarious guests, and lots of laughs. Guess who's sitting next to me? Steve!

It is my girl in the studio! Every Wednesday, we'll be sharing even more exclusive stories from the office and our friendship with brand new guests. And we'll be digging into our mailbag to answer your questions and comments. So join us for brand new Office Ladies 6.0 episodes every Wednesday. Plus, on Mondays, we are taking a second drink. You can revisit all the Office Ladies rewatch episodes every Monday with new bonus tidbits before every episode. Well, we can't wait to see you there. Follow and listen to Office Ladies on the free odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. What is your strategy? What do you coach people to do when they get hate messages? What do you recommend that people do with that? Okay. So I recommend creating like a scale, like your

Richter scale of crazy. I do get comments. Oh, your dad should go back to Mexico. And that to me on the Richter scale is so far out there that I'm not going to dignify a response, you know, because what I want to write back is like, well, my dad enlisted in the United States Marine Corps to help protect the right for you to say something so rude about him. So that's on the Richter scale, not worth an answer. You have other people who disagree, but they want to have conversations. And if I have the time and bandwidth, let's have a conversation. I'm not on social media because I think it's candy land. And then there's like a midpoint to where is somebody trying to incite?

Is somebody trying to goad? Is somebody just not wanting to have an open conversation? Then it's entirely up to you whether or not to dignify a response. I have experienced all three of those things. And for somebody who is obscenely rude block, like our social media platforms are essentially like there are little governments, there are little places. And if we don't want you in our country, then we don't have to have you there. But I don't mind opposition of opinion on my account. If I have the time, I will engage.

And to my point, as long as that person is not rude or disparaging to other people and they're stating their opinion, I'm open to the conversation always. Yeah. It's not about forcing everybody to be like-minded. It's just the manner in which the discussion is occurring, right? And obviously some people are saying things that are so egregious that they're not worth dignifying. But if you're like, well, actually, I don't see it that way.

That's not to me. That's not offensive. That's cool. I's not to me. That's not offensive. That's cool. I'm open to learning. That's different than somebody who is just like the Holocaust never happened. You know, like whatever ridiculous garbage they are spewing. That to me is like, I got stuff to do. Right.

You know, like I remind myself of that sometimes. Like is engaging with this person going to have the biggest impact on the most people? Is this what I'm here to do? Argue with you. But also what that person said, is it going to change behavior? So for instance, I posted a story and my husband and I each had a hand of our daughter and we're walking and we would count to three and lift her up. This is the thing that my parents did with me. And so I posted that on stories and a couple of people had said,

I shouldn't do that because of her shoulders or her sockets. I said, thank you so much for letting me know. There's a really good chance I'm going to offend somebody else because I'm not going to stop doing that. What point do I'm like, how much is it worth for me to be like, don't give me advice or I'm not here posting this. It's just kind of like, thank you so much.

A hundred percent. Like is engaging with an argument about like, no, her sockets are fine. Right. Oh, you know what I mean? No, I got stuff to do. It is a very difficult, somewhat isolating position to be in, to be a public figure on social media. It really is.

Have you found that? You know, it's crazy. I think that 99% of people would say that for me, I use social media for business. So when I go there, it is like very business mode for me. Now, if I had like a Finsta mixing business and pleasure, I think it would kind of murk the waters. But for me, it's like, I'm in go mode. Like this is where I am. This is where I'm showing up professionally. This is the vision of my business and my brand. I'm here to do business. And then that's just it. And so if I do have the opportunity to meet people or paths cross, I'm just like, it's great to meet you, but they really

know 1% of who I am. So I do try my best to stay like completely unattached to it. What would your advice be to somebody who is feeling discouraged where they're like, I keep trying on social media. I keep trying to grow my business and nothing ever happens. Nobody ever follows me. Nobody ever buys my stuff. What little nugget would you offer to somebody who's feeling discouraged? Well, first and foremost, okay. So I'm 50% holy and 50% hood. So let's start with like the 50% like holy and certain like, and this is what I truly believe is that you are enough, but very similar. When you first started learning how to ride a bike or learning a second language or going on your first date or learning how to floss your teeth,

it took a while for you to get the groove of things. It took a while for you to get the groove of things. It took a while for you to get feedback or learn how to behave differently. And I feel like it takes a while for people to actually learn the nuances of social. So number one, give yourself grace. There is a learning curve. And then the hood version is the market's never wrong. If you are consistently showing up and you're really practicing. So oftentimes people say it's not working and then they're showing up, you know, once every three weeks. Well, you're not going to get that instant feedback loop

to understand truly what it is people want. But if you're saying I'm posting consistently and I'm engaging and people still aren't doing what I want them to do, which is to like, follow, engage, share, and or buy, then I have to say the market's not wrong. Now we need to pivot the strategy. What are you posting? They're not speaking to you, which is a very clear indication that it's

not resonating with your target demographic. There's probably a few root things that are off there. Number one, do you know your target demographic? If not, we got to address that first. Number two, are you actually addressing a pressure point that you offer a solution in a way that makes the most sense for them and is appealing? If not, you got to focus there. And then another thing is simply talking to three of your friends or family or somebody who's going to give you really honest feedback and be like, what is off about the content I'm sharing? So of course it's not a one size fits all, but between one of those three things, you can really hone in on why you think it's not resonating. And that's just the truth of the matter. So 50% holy, you are enough. Keep trying.

Everything takes a while, but the hood answer is somebody has got to speak some truth into you. We've got to figure out, are you relieving your pressure point? And then if you're saying yes to those things, you've got to reach out to people so they can give you really good, honest feedback about where you're falling short. I found it tremendously useful too, when I was starting a business to pay for a mentor because they have so much wisdom that your friends don't have. Your friends are like, I don't know. I teach preschool. How do I know? You know what I mean? They are well-meaning and their instinct is to preserve the relationship. So they don't want to hurt your feelings. And sometimes you just need somebody to give you like a very slight smack upside the head and be like,

stop doing that. Yes. Change it, fix it. Yes. And oftentimes, you know, the best part about investing in a mentor is that you're betting on you. And oftentimes businesses have a very hard time like betting on themselves or investing in themselves. And when you are able to have a transaction with somebody else, you're actually betting on, you're actually investing in you by way of somebody else. And so give yourself that permission to get honest feedback, to shorten your learning curve, to get that like nice swift kick in the pants, to get where you want to go. Every investment, even if I felt like, oh man, this is really pushing me. It always ended up paying back dividends. Sometimes when I have invested in whatever it is, group thing or mentorship or whatever,

sometimes I didn't end up learning what I thought I wanted to learn. Sometimes I went into it thinking like, okay, I really want to understand X. And I left that experience not having learned that. And sometimes initially feeling a little disappointed, but now I can look back at those breadcrumbs and be like, I didn't learn what I wanted, but I learned what I needed. That's incredible. You can't always see the breadcrumbs now. Sometimes you're like, is this a breadcrumb? I don't know. You know what I mean? And then when you turn around and look, it becomes clear that it is, or, you know, it wasn't. I love too, what you have to say about how so many people feel unqualified, whatever journey it is that they're taking in life. I feel unqualified to be a parent. I feel unqualified to take care of my aging mother.

I feel unqualified to go to college. I feel unqualified to start a business, to pursue my dreams. What would you say to somebody who in this moment was feeling unqualified? Well, I would say that like my hope and my prayer, my deepest desire is that we always remain a little unqualified a lot of the time. If you're in a room where you feel like you are the most qualified or the smartest or most successful, I would challenge you to find a new room. It's what keeps our brain going. Like scientifically being challenged and learning new things is what keeps our brain active and going. Being uncomfortable keeps us humble. Being uncomfortable makes us vulnerable. Being uncomfortable makes us hungry. Being vulnerable makes us ambitious. So in my mind, may we all be a little uncomfortable a lot of the time. It is more valuable than we give it credit for. But again, simple perspective, maybe not everybody agrees, but it's just been so true in my life. I'm not saying it's fun or it's easier that I like it, but it's always been more valuable than not. I love that. If you feel unqualified, great.

That means you have surrounded yourself with people who can help you be better. Oh, absolutely. My goal, my life's aim is may I be the poorest and the dumbest in every way. I love it. And I know I'm in the right room. Yes. What would you say to, if you had your moment where they were like, Jasmine, you have a very unique opportunity. We are going to program everybody's telephones so that they can receive one message from you. What would you want your message to say? We teach what we have to learn. And oftentimes I caught myself saying, Sharon, and leave that door open for people to follow you in. And I think that on a subconscious level, I might be keeping myself outside of the room. And the thing that I remind myself

is that from the White House to a warehouse and everything in between that I belong in the room, I belong at the table and my voice matters. And so the thing that I feel like I've had to learn is the thing that I want people to know. So my message to people would be, you are enough and you belong in the room and what you say matters. And it might not matter to everybody, but it matters to somebody. If we stop ourselves, if we put a basket over our light, we're doing a disservice to the reason why we're here. So that message would likely be summed up with you are enough and what you say matters. be summed up with you are enough and what you say matters. I love that. Where, oh, by the way, I meant to tell you, I remember watching, I don't know if it was a YouTube video or an IGTV or whatever, your meeting with Gary Vee. Okay. How are you throwing me for a loop? And you're talking about my pretend best friend. So I don't call him Gary. I call him Gare Bear, you know? Gare Bear. Yes. My husband knows that that's my name. I'm official president of the Gary Vaynerchuk band club. What do you love about him so much? What about him appeals to you?

I think that his intellect is so underestimated. I tell people all the time, y'all are sleeping on Gary Vaynerchuk. Like this guy is so ahead of the curve. I love that he's approachable. I love that he spits the truth. I love that he doesn't mince words. I love that he is inspiring without like the let's dance to black eyed peas and walk over fire poles. I like that he practices what he preaches. I like that he doesn't monetize at every opportunity, even though he can. I like the fact that he is transparent with what he wants to be transparent about. And it has a clear distinction between personal and professional life. I love the open awareness. Like earlier this year, he had launched an NFT project and he was so open around what he was sharing and the process of it and the mistakes along the way. And I just think if you pay close attention to him, he shares a boatload. And I just feel like it's a fuller puzzle, many more puzzle pieces to the

complexity of who he is and like what he does. Like, I sound like a creeper now. Like I listen on the daily. What is some of your favorite advice that he's ever given you or that you've heard him say? He says, you're going to die. Like it's the most sobering thing. Like someone's like, Gary, I need a piece of inspiring advice. And he had said, you're going to die. And I saw that. And I was like, and you want to know what you're going to die. And we don't know when. And when my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and the doctors had stopped almost nine years of chemotherapy and brain surgeries and shunts. And when they said her time had come, it was as if I looked at myself and she was 50 years old and I was 25 years old. And I thought to myself, my God, what if I only have 25 years left in my life? And then I was struck with the realization

that I'm not guaranteed 25 years. I'm not even guaranteed 25 days. We don't know. So why are we living so much in the future of what we'll be instead of living right now? When I had the opportunity to speak to him, it was very layered. He, a couple of years ago, had a collaboration with K-Swish shoes. And it was the first time that an entrepreneur was coming out with a shoe line. I mean, we've seen basketball players and football players do it, but like an entrepreneur. And I told my husband, watch me buy these shoes. And my husband's like, I don't know, Jasmine, I think you're making a big deal about it. So I said, I want to watch the way that they're

launching this. Well, Gary went on Instagram live, just popped up his phone and him. And I believe four other people were sitting in his office and he had an open, no bars held meeting about how they were going to launch it. What are the promotional strategies? And I'm watching and I yell upstairs, my husband, I'm in a business meeting with Gary Vaynerchuk. No, Gary don't even know that I'm there. And people are coming in and they realize that Gary's not actually having a live where he's talking to people. Gary's having a live where it's just being broadcasted into his office.

And I'm watching the various tiers in which people can invest. And I'm like, man alive, he's doing it. He's launching a shoe brand. He knows the entire marketing strategy before the shoe has even been complete. And there was this one little tiny way that I was like, I think I can be a part of this launch and get access to Gary. Now they had said, if you bought 50 pairs of shoes that you would get five minutes with him on an Instagram live. And so I quickly did the math and I was just like, okay, I probably would pay that, you know, to get like a five minute coaching session with him. So what am I going to do with 50 pairs of shoes? Specifically, what am I doing with 50 pairs of men's shoes? All of the same name, right? And so I remember that was so special to me. My dad is an immigrant. We

always just shopped at their stores. We never got anything new, but the very first thing that I remember as a child that my dad bought brand new was a pair of all white case with shoes. And I'm telling you, I wore those all white case with shoes. I just felt so fly. I felt like I was American through and through. So for the fact that I was able to buy 50 pairs of case with shoes and then donate them to a young men entrepreneurs organization in Los Angeles, it was a full circle moment for me. And then I get ready to go on this Instagram live with Gary and Gary gets on and his team's like, okay, are you ready?

I'm like, I'm here. And he says, Jasmine, I'm waiting for Jasmine. I'm waiting for Jasmine. And I'm like, I'm typing. I requested to go live. I'm like, I'm here. Like I sent it, of course, to my newsletter list. I was like, tell Gary that I'm on, like, tell them that I'm on. People are like, I'm here. Like I sent it, of course, to my newsletter list. I was like, tell Gary that I'm on,

like tell them that I'm on. And people are like, she's here, she's here. He didn't see it. That line goes nowhere. And I'm telling you, I was just like, I can't believe I just wanted this opportunity. His team follows up and says, okay, in two weeks, try again. So there I am, I do the same thing

and it doesn't work this time. And so I'm gutted. I think that I've lost my opportunity and Gary is so good that he says, I'm gonna be in Los Angeles. I will honor the five minutes. If you decide to come to the Vayner media office in Los Angeles. So you best believe I show up with the videographer. I was like, I got five minutes with dare bear and he turned it into 13 best advice still deploying on it. I just think that his brand far supersedes anything, any type of the amazing content that he puts out, his brand is even better than that. I find him very amusing in that he absolutely walks the walk. He's like,

here's how you make 200 bucks in a weekend reselling crap on eBay. His garage sale stories, I live for them. I watch every single one riveted. I was like, look at him go. And he's just as happy to make 200 bucks. Exactly. And then he made like 65 million look at him go. And he's just as happy to make 200 bucks. And then he made like 65 million on his NFT project. And he's just as happy. And I'm like, bro, you're winning at life. He also has that kind of like immigrant story, you know, where he literally just had to like work in his parents' store his entire adolescence. And that was really the genesis of a lot of his genius was like, I was terrible in school,

barely past high school, but I worked in my parents' wine store and figured out how to make YouTube videos before anybody else did. And you want to know what? This is like the perfect loop back to the beginning part of the conversation where we talked about not being the best and being consistent. Is it like he is now auctioning his NFT projects at Christie's. Anybody can look at his art and say it looks like a five-year-old did it. And it is just proof that you do not have to be the most prolific or the most talented to actually win. That is brand and brand is built on the back of

consistency. Oh my goodness. We didn't talk about social curators. What is it? Okay. But here's the thing, Sharon. I came in and I said, I just want to serve your audience really well. We could on the back of connecting on social media at Jasmine star on social media. I'm the proud CEO of a company that empowers business owners to market their business. That's what I want to do. Show up in the thing that you've been put on this world to do. And every day we learn the lesson and we iterate and we get better. That's my intention. I love it. Everybody has a job to do and you were chosen for that job for a reason. Oh, that's a way to end a podcast.

I don't know what is. Out of amazing. Thank you so much for doing this. I absolutely love chatting with you. Same here. Yes. Thank you so much for listening to the Sharon Says So podcast. I am truly chatting with you. Same here. Yes. Thank you so much for listening to the Sharon Says So podcast. I am truly grateful for you. And I'm wondering if you could do me a quick favor. Would you be willing to follow or subscribe to this podcast or maybe leave me a rating or a review? Or if you're feeling extra generous, would you share this episode on your Instagram stories or with a friend? All of those things help podcasters out so much. I cannot wait to have another mind-blown moment

with you next episode. Thanks again for listening to the Sharon Says So podcast.