Heroes in Business - Alex Petrowski, 5EP Podcast Negative Stories Are Not Always As Remembered

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Open up. Alex Petrowski, 5EP Podcast Negative Stories Are Not Always As Remembered. Alex shares a formative story from his childhood that he recently learned did not happen how he remembered it.  What we can learn from stories and learning the truth behind them, and how reframing the narrative from a view of gratitude, curiosity, and openness can help us on our path to a 5EP life. @5eppodcast on Instagram

Hey Siri, what's on my calendar for today? Today, you have the 5EP podcast. Would you like to keep it on your calendar? 5EP? Yeah! Welcome to the 5EP podcast. Interview interviews and conversations to guide the genesis of personal development. Mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and social. The five pillars of living a five exclamation point life. On now with your host, Alex Petrowski. your host, Alex Petrowski. Welcome to another episode of the 5EP podcast. This episode will be a little bit different than the usual interview and conversation with a distinguished speaker. This time, I want to take you guys back through a major life experience in my past and share with you a story.

Growing up, when I was around seven, eight years of age in elementary school, I would be playing on the jungle gym, playing it during recess, having a good time with friends every day. Every day I was outside for a long time. Even when I would go home after school, we would play outside, whether it's street hockey, play catch, whether it's football, baseball on a glove, go on a skateboard, be on rollerblades, what have you. I was outside a lot. go on a skateboard, be on rollerblades, what have you. I was outside a lot. So one day, being seven or eight years of age, not very smart, we were playing a game. It was a don't touch the ground game. And there was no rules in place. You could push people off the jungle gym and they'd land in the sand and they'd be out. It was the main objective of the game was not to touch the ground. And me being pretty competitive really wanted to win no matter what.

So there was one point in the game where we were a little higher on the jungle gym and I pushed a kid off just so I could win the game not knowing what would happen because I remember landing in the sand and feeling feeling fine it was sand it wasn't concrete I've I've um fallen off my skateboard rollerblades scraped myself trying to catch a football on the concrete and knew how bad that was, but never fallen on sand and gotten hurt. So I pushed the kid off and he ended up getting hurt. And when I mean by hurt, he ended up breaking his arm and I got in a lot of trouble. I knew immediately when he was crying on the ground that I had done something wrong, and I felt really, really bad.

And I remember going over towards the edge of the jungle gym and sitting down and thinking, what have you done, Alex? I was just trying to win the game. I didn't want to hurt him. I feel really bad right now. I wish I could go back and not do that. And I knew also that based off of being aggressive in past games, the people that were volunteering to watch over us during recess didn't particularly like me, or at least some of them didn't particularly like me.

And I knew I was going to get an earful from, from them. So I was preparing myself for that. And then I remember being grabbed by the ear and just kept being told how bad, bad I was and how, how much trouble I was in. And I ended up obviously going to the principal's office. And then I don't remember much about that time. What I do remember is the fact that I had to go over to the other kid's house and apologize. And I remember his mom thought that I was the devil and that I was out to hurt everybody, which is not the case. And I even told him I was sorry at school. And then I remember being in the car on the way to his house and asking my mom, why are we going to his house? And she had said that I needed to apologize to him. And my response was, I already

apologized to him at school. I don't understand why I have to do it again. I meant what I said. I don't understand why we have to go just to apologize to him again. And I remember going over to the house and I remember I apologized to him and his mom had given me a pep talk on how I should actually apologize to her kid and how I wasn't being sincere. And I was, at the time, I was pretty afraid of the mom because she was staring at me with bad intentions the entire time. And I'm just like, I'm just a seven-year-old kid not knowing, seven or eight years old, not knowing what it is I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm supposed to be doing at that time. I'm pretty sure I already apologized to him. I meant it. I don't know what else I needed to do. I'm obviously not going to do that again because of what happened. And there was that experience. And then I ended up going to the principal's office again. And the principal was talking about how they were going to suspend me from school for a long time and that what I did was very bad and how I'm a danger to other students. And I remember sitting there not knowing how to react, not knowing what's going on. I really had no idea what was going on at that time because they were talking about how I had mental issues and this and that. And I, it's hard to fathom when you just wanted to,

you just want to play games with other kids and have fun and, and interact with your friends. And then somebody is telling you, you have mental issues, you're a danger. And you're sitting there like, no, I, that's not the case. I just want to go,

go outside and play with my friends and have a good time. And so I remember leaving, leaving the principal principal's office that day and talking to my mom on the way home about how we were going to change schools. And she wasn't, she wasn't happy at all with what, how it was being handled and the new leadership in the elementary school. So that was a, that was a huge life-changing experience because I had gone to that school from kindergarten all the way up through the first part of third grade. And then I switched to a different school that I had stayed with all the way through up until high school when I went to a different high school.

That definitely made me question how I play sports with other kids is dangerous or if my competitive spirit is something that I should be take a step back and really question the potential for me to make a mistake in certain areas that could cause a huge ripple effect into somebody else's life. And that stuck with me for quite some time. And I even heard from some other kid at the other school that I went to that I had broken this other kid's arm and that he started telling other kids at the school. So that rumor had gone with me wherever I went. So yeah, it was a life-changing experience that definitely had ripple effects that lasted for quite some time. And I wanted to share that with you because that's actually not what really occurred that day. And I didn't find out about that until very recently when I had talked with my mom about what actually occurred that day. And the whole premise behind talking to her originally was,

was I had been working with a life coach for quite some time. And one of the things that he's urged me to do was talk with my parents and really get to know more about myself and my past and become more self-aware in that regard. And I was explaining to my mom some self-limiting beliefs that I had based off that experience. And she pretty much sat me down and told me that that story that I have in my head, that I've had in my head for all this time has been completely false. And I'm 26 right now. So that story was in my head for about 16 years. And then finally, recently, finally, recently, I was told the actual story from what happened and not from what was lost in translation via rumors that were spread. What actually occurred was that day we were playing a don't

touch the ground game and I did push the kid off. But what really happened was he did not break his arm from that incident. What happened was he just got sand in his eyes and in his head and he had a little bit of a headache from falling bruised maybe just get up brush it off and move on and there was a whole ordeal about it and his mom was somebody who was very protective thought their their kid was the top of the world could do no wrong. And what my mom was telling me is that they received a call from, from his parents saying that due to him still having a headache the next day, they had to take him to the emergency room to check if he had brain bleeding from him falling on the sand and that they were going to send us his medical bill that happens and the mom went to the principal's office and told him the whole her

version of the story even though she wasn't there and we had a new principal at the time a very new principal and he ended up taking their side and pretty much told my mom that I really hurt this kid and that he doesn't want me to be a danger to any other kid in the school. And when I went to apologize, I actually had, I had one of the teachers, my third grade teacher helped me at the time I was a, I was a pretty bad writer. So I had the, the teachers, my third grade teacher helped me. At the time, I was a pretty bad writer. So I had the third grade teacher help me write an apology letter to the kid. And the third grade teacher was talking to my mom about the whole incident. She didn't understand why they're making a big deal about it also because she knew me

like all my past teachers did. And I wasn't somebody to maliciously try to injure somebody so I went through all that to write a letter to my friend at the time and I remember being in the car on the way to apologize to him yet again. And what my mom said was when we opened the door and I saw her face, I saw his mom's face. I completely turned around. Didn't want to look at her because I knew deep, you know, deep down when somebody does not like you and she deeply, deeply did not like me at all. She wanted me gone. And I turned around right when I saw her and then I had to muster up the courage to turn back around and go inside.

And I remember going inside and talking to my friend at the time and really not knowing what to do. Because we already talked about it. And I just started talking about what he was doing lately. And I do remember him having a cast at the time. And the funny part about it is he did break his arm, but not from me. He was playing with some other kid, and they were running at a high speed,

and he tripped on something and hit his arm on, I don't know if it was the edge of a curb or whatever, but he broke his own arm. So he did have a broken arm, but not by my doing, and I was talking to him about it at that time, asking what he was doing for fun these days with this cast and all that. But yeah, his mom would sit me down and give me pep talks and make sure I apologize to him a certain way.

And my mom was furious about the whole incident. And she's a super nice person, my mom was furious about the whole, whole incident. And she's super nice person, my mom, and it's very difficult to get to a point where she never wants to see a person ever again. And she never, she would appreciate never seeing that person ever again, because she would not have anything remotely nice to say about, about that lady. And after that, once she sent the medical bills, the funny part about that is my mom went to an attorney and had shown the attorney these, and the attorney was laughing and said, hey, I will write this thing up for you for free because of how ridiculous this is. And the attorney wrote something up to where my parents were willing to pay for that one medical bill, but she would have to sign the contract at the bottom, which stated that

my parents would not be liable for any other expenses that their child had to go through ever again. And my mom sent it to the kids' parents, and they never signed it. They never signed it. We never heard from him again. And it's funny because they went through all that, all that time trying to morph me and do whatever, whatever type of person they wanted me to be and use my parents to pay for medical bills that were of no use, not, not needed and really put this reputation out there that I was a terrible person. And that's just not, not the case at all. And I always felt that any other bad experience that I had at the other elementary slash middle school that I had gone to later on was my own doing because of

that choice that I made when I was at the elementary school. When in fact, there really was no other option at that time than to go to the other school and continue out my elementary education and my middle school education at that other school. And that all the other occurrences that people might say were negative going on in my life after that were things that had to occur and were in no way related to that decision that I made. I made and the fact that it wasn't due to me being a terrible person and me making a malicious decision to harm somebody at the time. It was just due to me making a small mistake and going through the different phases in childhood where you learn from your mistakes and you just go through life with the intention of i want to have fun with my friends i want to learn i want to become better at certain things and and doing that you're going to make mistakes and you're going to learn from

them you shouldn't ever feel like you're going to be chastised from a mistake and that's everything that you've done since then. All the negatives that you've received were karma due to that mistake. I would look at it now as though those were learning experiences and trials that I encountered that have given me the confidence and have given me the mental fortitude to take on much harder challenges later on, because I know I've already conquered those challenges. And I've already, and I already know I've conquered them even with feeling as though the world was out to get me and that I had, I had self-limiting beliefs and all, all sorts of things hindering me. And I still was able to accomplish them.

Just imagine what people were able to accomplish when they don't have self, self-limiting beliefs. have self self-limiting beliefs and when they truly believe that with course correction and with with trial and error and with a never quit attitude and solution driven thinking that you will be able to conquer whatever comes in your way and that each experience is going to lead you closer and closer to your best self and a new version of you. And with that, I have three takeaways. And those are past experiences may not always be what they truly seem to be. Our memories are pretty accurate at times, especially those that are from a long time ago. They're likely not as they seem. And then it's also truly important to

garner feedback from those that were actually key players at the time and not via gossip that you heard from people spreading rumors that weren't even there and have no stake in the situation whatsoever, or their stake is that they want to have a better reputation than you and that they're willing to spread rumors and spread lies about you, then you don't need to even give them a second thought because they're not in your inner circle and they're only there to bring you down. And then third, don't assume that a life-changing experience or really any experience that's affecting you negatively actually occurred the way that it did. And that's similar to what I

said in the beginning. And I wanted to include the don't assume portion because a lot of people, even though they know that their experiences may not be completely accurate, they just assume because of what other people say. And because they don't, they, they either believe other people say, They either believe what other people say or at the time they don't feel like they can handle what other people might say as well because what they've heard already has been super negative and they don't want to hear anything else because they feel like they would go over the edge. So in that, it does take a lot of courage to muster, to really ask questions and be curious around what actually occurred. And I can tell you from experience, mustering up that courage and really having a curious mindset and just going into it with whatever occurs, whatever I'm told, it's for the best. And I know that in the present moment, all that I can do is be better than I was five minutes ago, 10 minutes ago, an hour ago, yesterday.

All I can do is work to be better than I was previously. And that's whatever I hear, I fully accept it. And I have an acceptance that I know I need to hear the facts and what I need to work on before I can actually do it. So I encourage you all to really inquire with key players in your life about past experiences that you've always felt were negative and have really shaped your beliefs in yourself and your self-identity and really take a step back and tell yourself and say, hey, in order to reach the next level

and recreate myself and to love myself and to propel myself forward and be the person I want to be, it really takes, you really need to take a step back and start inquiring about who you actually were previously and what actually happened so that you can truly learn from those experiences and be able to move past them and really settle them once and for once and for all and become the person you would like to be. Thank you for listening. And I look forward to seeing you all next week. Have a great week, guys. You've been listening to the 5EP podcast with Alex Petrowski. Interviews and conversations to guide the genesis of personal development. If you enjoyed the show, share it with friends and family and on your social media.

And feel free to send us your feedback. Until next time, thank you for listening and live your 5X Mission Point life every day.