Heroes in Business - Connecting with Sensations and Story to Youth

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Listeners ask questions. Can all clients connect with Sensations? Can all clients connect with stories? Working with younger populations in this episode of Guided Self Healing Living Fearless with Dr Andy Hahn

So, welcome to episode 25 of Guided Self-Healing, Fearless Living. My name is Dr. Andrew Han, and you, of course, can call me Andy. And if you ever want to reach us, of course, we are LifeCenterTherapy.com. And if you ever want to write to me, it's Ahan at LifeCenterTherapy.com. And if you ever want to write to me, it's Ahon at lifecentertherapy.com. And the reason I think I'm telling you all of this, this time is because one of our listeners, whose name is Amy, wrote and asked several questions, in fact, three questions. And I would like to happily answer those questions. And what she asked is, are all clients able to connect with body sensations which she was thinking seemingly was not so likely are all clients able to connect with stories in other

words what happens if a client says i don't know what's happening or something like that and uh what about working with younger populations so I would like to address all three of those questions since she took the time to write them. And I, of course, am deeply appreciative of anyone who takes the time to reach out to us and ask questions or make comments or reflections or tell us how they're doing with the work which some of you are doing the work on yourselves. And I invite all of you to do that because you can um let's start with the first question that Amy asked which is are all clients able to connect body sensations and the key the answer to that in my experience is yes I've been doing this now for 28 years, and I haven't yet had a client who couldn't connect with a body say, okay, when you're depressed, I want you to scan your body and tell me what you notice. What, what are the sensations as you're just allowing depression? And let's suppose the person says, I don't feel anything. Now, of course, what they're assuming is that they are standing outside of the process and they're making a comment, which is in the here and now, there's no body sensations.

But actually, what you need to know is people literally answer your question. So again, because this is the most important thing around body sensations, because it's the one that people always say, you know, people can't feel anything in the body. They say, I don't feel anything. And what the therapist or the guy doesn't realize is, of course, they're answering your question. So if I say when you're depressed and I say, you know, so what are you feeling? And you say, I don't feel anything. I ask a very simple question, which is where in your body do you feel? I don't feel anything. Now I will tell you that has happened a lot. I mean, a lot is relatively given that I do this 30 hours a week for 27 years. A lot is a very small number percentage wise, but you know, still a fair amount of people sometime or other have said that. And it's very interesting. I've never

had one person yet who couldn't tell me where they're feeling. I don't feel anything. They say, they say, I don't know. I think I'm feeling in my head and muscle tested feeling in their head, or they say, I'm feeling in my gut, or they feel I'm feeling in my arms or they feel, you know, wherever. So the key is, this is very much the key. There is no, people say they resist it. They won't let themselves feel. I say, what are you talking about? And they say, well, you know, they'll say, well, I don't feel anything.

That's not resistance. That's answering a question in my point of view, because I don't believe there's resistance. I only believe there is remembering and literally answering questions. So you just, it does, I will tell you, I've had a few clients, you know, when you know that everything is part of the process, which, which leads to Amy's next question, which is, um, are all clients able to connect with a story? And of course, all in that case is, you know, it's a large number. I would say basically the answer is yes.

All clients are able to connect with a story. As long, again, as you realize one thing, which is that you can't step outside of the process. So the key again is to say that if someone, if you have them drop into a body sensation, like I'm feeling nothing, right? And you say, where are you feeling? I'm feeling nothing. And they say, I'm feeling nothing in my forehead.

Okay. So we say, okay, so bring all your attention to feeling nothing in forehead, like you're going to become feeling nothing in forehead. And we're going to say then, because that's its name, its name, you know, Amy's name is Amy. And this person's name is feeling nothing in forehead, not feeling nothing in my forehead, because it's, you know, that's, it's, it's a proper name, feeling nothing in forehead. So we talked to feeling nothing in forehead, say feeling nothing in forehead. So we talked to feeling nothing in forehead. Say feeling nothing in forehead. What have you come to share about depression? Feeling nothing in forehead might

say something like, you know, I don't see anything. I don't think I'm going to be able to see anything. It's kind of hopeless. Now, of course, if Amy were my client client she might be thinking in 2000 and you know 2021 she's saying I'm depressed and I can't see anything I'll never see anything and the whole thing's hopeless right she thinks she's commenting but she's not commenting because I am not talking to Amy I'm talking to feeling nothing in forehead so it feeling nothing in forehead is telling us a story. And in the story, for whatever reason, feeling nothing in forehead is experiencing, I'm seeing nothing, I'll never see anything, and it's hopeless. Let's suppose whoever that is, they've just been blinded, and they've lost all hope. And they're saying, I'm seeing nothing,

I'll never see anything, and it's hopeless. Well, that's because they were blinded and they've lost all hope. And they're saying, I'm seeing nothing. I'll never see anything. And it's hopeless. Well, that's because they were blinded or whatever it was, or they're in the dark or they're, they've been blindfolded and they've been, you know, taken in some kind of, you know, abduction. So of course they're depressed and of course they're seeing nothing and they believe they'll never see anything and it's hopeless. And the answer to that, of course, you say, that's right. You are

seeing nothing and you're never going to see anything and it's hopeless. And I say, why are you taunting me? I'm just, you know, so that's not Amy. That's feeling nothing in forehead and saying, why are you taunting me? That's right. I'm taunting you and, and, you know, that happens very rarely, but, you know, someone might say that on and on and on. And but they're just not. They're not in 2021. Somebody else whose name is. Feeling nothing in forehead.

So what you need to know is that this is not client-centered therapy. This is life-centered therapy. And life reveals itself when something can't be handled as dense energy. We are dense energy to life, right? Because we handle something, which means life can't handle something as real life, right? Because we handle something, which means life can't help something because we're alive, right? So we were born in a moment. And our discomfort,

our sensations, just like us, we're born in a moment, they have a life of their own, and they're sharing their stories. And we're just identified with them because once, of course, something can't be handled, we identify with feeling nothing in forehead it's not like we're saying oh i'm having an experience of that it's this is who i am so i just am talking to the real client is who is not amy it is it is an aspect of soul community of which amy is a part also you know one when someone, one of my clients said, it's like I'm one of the pillars in a temple and there's the ones over here, the ones over here,

and I'm just one of them. Just right now, the spotlight seems to be shining on me, but when it's what I bring my attention to someone else, the spotlight shines on them. I think that's really true. So of course, there's nothing that's happening in my office. It's making Amy depressed. So it's not Amy who's depressed, at least not in my office. She might think she's depressed, but it's not Amy who's depressed. It's somebody else whose name is feeling nothing in

forehead. Now, as long as you remember that, you're golden. The second you forget that, that, you're golden. The second you forget that, you know, people say, this is the hardest part as a therapist in some ways, by the way, to know that everything is part of the process. And as soon as you start speaking with the person who's in front

of you, who isn't the person who's the client, as soon as you start speaking with them, the client's going to get the real client, whose name in this case is feeling nothing in forehead, is going to get really upset and say, why the heck are you talking to Amy? She doesn't know anything. I'm the one who knows something. Then they get angry and, you know, they say, why are you getting angry? It's because, you know, you brought me forward and now you're not talking to me.

Then they're going to go in and have a grudge and then they're going to get angry and they'll say the client's resisting. But of course, from my point of view, the client is not Amy. So Amy can't resist because Amy's not the client. Amy just happens to be the person who's paying the bill, so to speak,

because whoever it is whose name is feeling nothing in forehead, who's in some kind of depression because, you know, he's lost his sight or, you know, someone plucked out his eyes and he'll never see anything again and he's feeling hopeless and helpless. Well, and then you stop talking with him. Start talking with Amy. And he says, basically, you know, another person who's not seeing me. I'm really, you think I'm blind. You're blind. Because if you could really see,

you would see who I was and you'd listen to me and not listen to her. She doesn't know anything. Just like you don't know anything. I know something. So, you know, you never know with these answers, but having said that, so I can tell you, Amy,

everyone can find body sensations because they answer your question. And in terms of, you know, being able to connect with a story, most everybody can connect with the story as long as you know that whatever it is they say, you say, that's right. As opposed to, well, what am I supposed to do now? I don't see anything. The second you start doing that, you won't find a story, but that won't be about that. So all you have to do is just say yes. yes. You know, not feeling anything in the forehead, we'll keep sharing, we'll keep sharing until they've told the whole story. Now, what you need to know is, even though, what questions do I ask in most situations? I say, what have you come to share about the intention, not feeling anything,

you know, in head, right? what have you come to share about depression where is this beginning and what's happening with you or to you and then you know not feeling anything in head will answer that question now sometimes the stories will not seem to be coherent narratives but that's okay because that's just their way of telling their story and you know they're the expert they get to tell it any way they want it may not make any rational sense to you as the therapist it may not even make any rational sense to the client who's quote unquote sitting in front of you amy in this case but on some level it will make some sense to not feeling something in forehead

and not feeling something in forehead is the only person who counts. But sometimes it's very important to Amy, who's sitting here paying the bills for the therapy, even though, you know, she's only one of a large community, to make something coherent. And really what happens is if you really listen carefully, like someone is really trying to convey something to you in the best way they can, sometimes it doesn't come out in the content. It comes out in the way they're telling the story.

It comes out in an image and what it means to them or whatever. So it's like you have to think of it like it's working on many levels and sometimes sometimes really the least important level is the literal it may be like i said the way they're telling the story it's the very process like everything is confusing or all i'm seeing is lights well what does that mean to you if you you could ask that question you know you're just seeing these colors okay what have you mean to you? If you could ask that question, you know, you're just seeing these colors. Okay, what have you come to share about that? Which you would say at the end,

because we don't lead them, you know, well, most therapists who do quote unquote regression therapy, they say things like, like, what are you wearing? Because they're talking with Amy. And so they want Amy to know who they are so amy will then try to get the answer and say well i'll need surgery i'm wearing wooden shoes but the thing is i would say that's a technical mistake because it's not our job to lead someone who is our true client, which is the body sensation and whoever they are,

they get to share their story any way they want. And they may not want to say, you know, why are you bothering me with a question? And what am I wearing? Like, I'm not interested in that. I mean, now I'm new. So I never, never was strong. I'm sure I've made technical mistakes myself, but if I'm talking with a body sensation, who's the person or the being, because it doesn't have to be a person who is sharing the story. All I say is, okay, you share your story. All I'm going to do is say, yes, I'm just here with you. It's you're the expert, not me. Therapists have to learn, you know, that they're not the expert. They're only the expert in knowing a framework and knowing a protocol and bringing everything they can so I can understand

whoever is my client, who is going to be a body sensation, which is just dense energy of life. You know, I want to know everything I can so I can understand whoever they are better. That's my job. So if they make some reference to something, I'll say, oh, I know something about that. So, you know, it's very interesting. It's everything I've ever learned is useful, but not because I'm the expert. It just may mean that I can understand, you know, what my client is sharing, whose name in this case is not feeling anything in the forehead. So, you know, if I know something about what it's like to have, let's say you've been, you know, you're being, you know, and you're being let around, blindfolded, and you're feeling hopeless because there's nothing you can do.

Well, what do I know if I can empathize with that, what it must be like, and what it is you wanna do when you're being let around like that? That's my job, to be able to say, oh, maybe I could have a glimpse of that from the inside out, what it's like for you. Not project something onto it, but just what it's like. And that's what we're here for. And so it's our job to say, you get to tell the story, body sensation, who's a living being, however you want to. Our job is to say, you get to tell the story, body sensation, who's a living being, however you want to. Our job is to say, we will come and meet you. You don't have to come and meet me.

You have enough to do without having to come and meet me. But, you know, the really great thing is if you pay attention, you say, I really want to understand at that point not seeing anything not feeling anything in head will do everything they can because we so so all of us including the whole communities of our soul want to do and have someone who says okay understandable i really am curious and i really want to understand I'm not going to think you're crazy or think you're pathologized or anything like that because people hate being told that there's

I don't believe in pathology just so you can know I just believe in stories that we haven't had revealed or understood everything makes sense from the inside out so anytime we look down on our clients or something, there's one person who has a problem. It's not the clients.

Because everything makes sense. It just doesn't make sense to the client or us yet. That's the amazing stuff about all that is to say we can make sense of all of this in some kind of coherent way if we just really, really, really, really pay attention and really want to understand what it's like for you. Not feeling anything in the head. So that's what I would say about that,

which I didn't know what I was going to say, which is always interesting because I know I'd be bored. So I get to discover also as we go along. So thanks for the questions. You know, then the last question Amy asks is, does this work with younger populations? I will tell you, I'm, you know, classically, traditionally trained in play therapy and whatever, playing board games and do whatever with kids and whatever. I will tell you, kids you kids love this younger populations love it why because they get to tell stories they love muscle testing you make it a game any of the energetic interventions you can make a game if it's young enough and like you know they're telling stories and like you know it's amazing what will happen when you invite

young kids into stories and i can tell you stories about post stories like you know i didn't know because i can get what i've told you in podcasts but i had one you know 11 year old boy i think it was about 11 getting so now, but he's what's coming to me. He had Asperger's, quote unquote Asperger's, and he was kind of out of control. And it turned out, in his most amazing story, one of the stories, he was there with his mother because basically he had a hard time with being his mother. He know um he's telling a story and it's a story of a curse and he says you know i was cursed when i was uh inside my mother when i was you know seven months inside of her and something weird happened there and uh he's telling us this i

don't remember the story because literally this is 25 years ago but i do remember the shock which is you know he says i stopped growing then because he was failure to throw hide he was like another percentile and he said that was cursed he took out a ray gun and he blew away the personal curse to him and what i do remember is that he started to gain weight and he went from the third percentile very quickly up into the like high teens or something so he got rid of this curse and then he got rid of another curse that was from egypt his kid knew a lot about everything very smart kid from you know five thousand years ago in egypt because he had studied it and there was another curse

years ago in egypt because he had studied it and there was another curse into those kinds of movies back then but he blew away that curse with a some kind of ray gun and uh you know his mother says because he wasn't her mother was his mother wasn't in that section so what do you you know my son because he actually came and set the table with a you know he never set the table you could ask him to beg to do whatever and he would just be distracted he came and set the table without you know he never set the table you could ask him beg to do whatever and he would just be distracted he came and set the table on his own and told me he had done it so that's a miracle it's because he had blown away a curse so you know what can i tell you open to all possibilities and i'll tell you the other thing is you know if you're working with teenagers who don't particularly like to speak about themselves it's like play therapy man you know it's like tell stories particularly from other lifetimes which you know genealogical stories well that

happened in my great great great grandfather and my mother's thought i don't know anything about that but of course we don't know anything about anything until we feel them in our bodies at which point they're here and they'll tell you their stories you know somebody from you know 1832 or whatever or somebody from another lifetime and they're telling the stories and then they get really really excited about it because it's really interesting the next thing you know their lives change so um and the things that my quote-unquote clients teach me when they find these uh beings who are the ones who are unable to take something in stride and get to share their stories it's really something so that's why i feel i've done this now for uh 28, and I still learn things every day, which is really, you know, who's the lucky one?

So, Amy, thank you for your questions. I didn't know how I was going to answer, like I said, but it's a discovery process for all of us. It's a discovery process for us when we find the ones who are really in the story. They're like in heaven and somebody actually is paying attention to them and you know i'm grateful that you asked these questions so i could discover what i had to say and then you can tell me how you respond and

life gets interesting so my dear friends until next time this has been a joy and thank you for your questions and again um which i would say in all our podcasts, you know, we're about done with our book. We have one more day of editing, sending back the edits that our editor from our publishing company sent to us. And then, you know, if you are open, you know, and want to get the book,

it's called The One Hour Mir miracle um i have to say that that was not the title we came up with that was the title our agent came up with and our publisher loved the title and uh as long as you know what a miracle is right there is miracles and there are miracles i mean you know and we sometimes do things that are seeming miraculous. You know, I still marvel when people who have, you know, major depressions, they go away in one session or, you know, chronic pain that nothing has touched for years and years and it goes away in a session. That does seem miraculous to me. But those are the big miracles, you know. And they're all understandable because all it is is those symptoms. We're trying to share something and we just never listened.

And as soon as we listened, they just said, just said well i can go back into my pure form and the sensations go away and the symptoms go away but the real miracle from my point of view is every time you find a sensation let it share its story it goes back to its pure form and goes back to is pure form and you representing soul get freer and it's not just true that freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose is that freedom is the capacity to really be fully engaged with life and being able to let go so my my dear friends, please do write. Questions are so appreciated. Sharing, skepticism, anything, you know, it's a joy to hear from you. And I'm hearing from some of you, so that's really a joy. Again, lifecenteredtherapy.com and A-H-A-H-N at lifecenteredtherapy.com. And until we meet again, I wish you well and do try this. You know, the thing I say to people is like, you know,

if there's something you're suffering about, you can start doing this work, you know, you're judgmental of yourself or you have some symptom and it's causing you like you know anxiety or whatever just drop into the body see what's there become the sensation from the inside of and say what have you come to share and then just wait because you may not believe in the beginning you're really going to listen but someone else is no most of us don't think we'll be listened to so why should they unless you really really say, yeah, I'm here. I can wait. I'm not going anyplace. Well, I'll start to tell you. And when they start to tell you, that's what happens. New worlds can be open to us. So until next time, I wish you well with your healing.

I wish you well with looking more deeply into life and finding your true path. Bye.