Heroes in Business - Live Double Bind Session

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

A one hour demonstration of a Life Centered Therapy session. The client resolved a double bine, a pattern where if you get what you believe you want with someone, and you believe it is impossible to have a conversation about this. The client response to the session soon after was that he felt relaxed while being less tense and more able to accept reality wihtout stress in this episode of Fearless Living with Dr. Andy Hahn.

so hi hi and so uh we're doing a session and this is ian and i'm andy and we are uh gonna do a normal session and i've never done a session with you and i think i he did our training ages ago but uh didn't even do it with me. So that makes him a relatively unusual being. So anyway, so anyway, here's what I'd like us to do, Ian. I want us to take a moment, and if you like, you can close your eyes, and you can, we're just going to pause and shift our attention sort of from up and out to down and in, and and just enjoy breathing and on the in-breath it's like opening up through the crown of the head it's like opening to life it's opening to the vibration of life that animating force which would be light or a tingling or a vibration coming

in through crown of head and filling us and it's really when we open it out it's like opening to all of life it's opening to everything that's here and we just see where our attention is going and then on the out breath you can just let go of whatever tension there is so you can just be present with whatever it is and then the only other thing i would invite you to do is as you're breathing as deeply as you can into the diaphragm if you can get there just bring your attention down your legs all the way through soles of feet sort of like you're a tree so you're really centered and grounded and rooted sending down roots and holding and being held and receiving whatever you need to sustain you to nourish you to nurture you right up through the soles of the feet so you have everything

within your whole being. And then I just invite you, even if you thought you know what you want to talk about, to just take a moment to just be present with whatever's here and see where your attention goes when you just really open up life and being aligned with life and whatever

you know is true for you, whatever feels important to share, if anything. And a little higher up in the center of the chest, if you could have anything that you really desire from our time, anything you desire, even if you're not sure it's possible, what you would really aspire to or intend to get from the time, if you have exactly what you are intending. And then the final thing I would say is

when you're sharing, whatever that is, just speak slowly enough that it's like you're listening to your own words. It's like you're sharing with yourself. Like a deeper part of you is sharing through you and with you. So you're really listening to yourself.

I'll be here with you and you can share whatever is important and whatever you really desire yeah two things what I noticed was when I went to my heart I felt sadness about my

relationship ending and or changing because we're in the separation phase after being together for 16 years and so I felt that sadness

which surprised me and not surprised me but it was there and then the thing I was thinking about was in my gut I sort of felt more more sort of anger and I was like okay well I want I want this in a way to be finished so I'm not angry I suppose I don't mind being angry but it's just like I'm just a bit angry

but it feels quite good to be angry it feels quite good to be angry it feels quite energising so I guess I don't want to I don't want to be tied in with my wife

because she's obviously moved on to someone else and i don't want sort of the pain of that to be affecting me of anger anger anger so i just want to see if there's anything there that i can that that's holding me back from moving on and going on to the next thing really and part of the next thing is obviously having a different relationship with her but you know i don't want to be in this position where i've dismissed her or cut off from her or you know othered her in some way, which I think is quite easy for me to do.

And it reminds me very much of how I used to be with my mother. I was angry with her all the time, with hell. I didn't want to communicate with her. I didn't want to. Didn't have much patience with her and got cross a lot. So I feel some of that similar stuff is happening. Okay. I'm happy for that to be not very clear, but I'm also yeah it's quite a lot there

alright so what I'm going to do is you and I are going to become a team and I'm going to muscle test surrogately for you and I just really in the same way because you know the work that i invite you to tune into a body sensation and become it from the inside out it's sort of like you're a body sensation to life and so i tune to you like if i can get you know broad enough i can tune into you

just the way that you would tune into a body sensation. And it's like, I become you from the inside. I was best. I'm able to, and then I just start muscle testing you in the same way that if you had, you know, when you focused on not the anger that was setting boundaries, but anger that felt like it was compulsive, you'd feel a discomfort and then you could become it and let it share. And I just did the same thing okay and if there's anything you want to ask you can obviously go for it and um but it will become a team and we work on whatever we're told and that's how okay okay so here's how it will look i just make my body into a pendulum so i just say show us a yes and my body just moves on its own show us and no it just goes backwards show us a yes show us a no and then

it's like if i now said i'm focused on you if i say my name is ian it will say yes if i say my name is andy it will say no because i'm so in the same way that you would become sick to stomach i'm now ian because ian is the life of sick the stomach is the end so to speak so i'm now ian but i'm a dense energy too for life so all right so here we go so we're going to just make sure we're all set first and i'll explain the questions because i don't know how when you've lost use this protocol or anything so i don't know where you are so i will just explain whatever i ask so first thing we ask is are we fully in healing presence and that says yes and healing presence is just the aspect of soul that helps us to become whole, become who we truly are.

Are we simply balanced? And that says yes too. And I saw you just drank some water and simply balanced means our bodies are ready to do work, of which the most important thing is to be hydrated. So you may be stuck in anger or whatever, reconnecting your mother, but at least you're hydrated enough. So just put any little things we can. So are we fully checked in? And that says yes also. And that just means you've said everything you need to say to bring yourself fully here and everything I need to hear so I can be of service for healing. That's all. So now we start and we're going to first start and see if you know what to do, because we always ask if you know first. So we're going to say the one we call Ian, which right now is going to be you and not me. Do you know the very best way to proceed? And we ask you, and it says no, which is usually the case, because if you knew the best way

and knew what to do with this, you wouldn't have been getting in touch with me. So that makes sense. So I'm going to find the best way. So are we going to do what I would call healing? Is there anything else to do? Are we to do a standard balance? So we're we to do a standard balance so we're going to do a standard balance and all that means is something in fact is out of balance it's not like your anger is like just setting a boundary for you when you're like at choice for example it means that there's something more going on like you and your mother or whatever so you're not able to be fully present with something because you're stuck someplace that's all this means okay it was like that so good see it works out isn't it great when how it is and how it feels all the time you know because you have to have fun in therapy until you don't you know so

anyways let's find out so we're going to a standard balance so you have a highest intention and your highest intention is what we're to do and your highest intention is that any some or all of what you said and it says very clearly nothing you said, including about your mother, is the most important thing to work on. That's interesting. Even though nothing you said is your highest priority, the most important thing to work on, can we choose to work directly on any, some, or all of that nonetheless? And it said no. And there's usually only one reason for that, which we will find out. There can be more, but it's usually because of this. The reason we can't work directly on anything you've said is because there are symptoms

of a deeper intention, or to put it differently, there's something underlying all of this stuff, some kind of theme or pattern, and it's affecting everything you said and other things also. And so it's therefore more important. It's underneath it, and it's affecting everything you've said including your mother and other things too so that's why we can't work on this directly because it's just these are just symptoms of something else that's affecting these things and other things also and that's a very strong yes so we're going to give you something that will help should affect everything you said about you and your wife and you and your

mother. And it's going to be some kind of theme. Let's see if you could find it. So who knows? So could the one we call Ian, which is you, could you go inside and you find it and we ask you. So here's your next problem. You see the symptoms, but you don't know what the underlying theme is. It's like, you know, I'm sitting here, just snowed here. It's like if there was water, you know, my relationship with my mother and not letting go of my wife, my anger, whatever. And there are all these waters coming down. And I didn't know that there was a ice dam in my gutter.

So I take care of the water would all come back. And it's affecting all those things you said and other things too. And we have to find what that ice dam is or there's a crack in the foundation of all the houses you want to build we have to find the crack and it says you don't have a name for that so i'm not going to ask you because that's called not being fair so i'm going to find it for you so do i find it intuitively and i don't know it either so i'm going to have to find it on a list so i'm going to find it on the list so we're looking for a pattern are we looking for one made up of one are we looking for one made up of more than one or more than one?

So we're only looking for one theme. It won't be neglect and betrayal. Or it won't be, it'll only be one thing we're looking for, okay? And it's one sort of universal theme, sort of mythic. All right, so let's find out. Is it a standard pattern and a standard form in life-centered therapy? Is it some other kind of pattern, like a Jungian archetype, for example? So it's standard pattern in a standard form in life-centered therapy is it some other kind of pattern like a jungian archetype for example so it's standard in this framework there are three

categories i don't know if you remember this but if you do great if you don't doesn't matter because i do so um it should only be one of them let's find out is it single center no is it major energetic yes is it identity no so a major energetic pattern just means that you've had some kind of trauma around the theme and it means you believe things you know aren't true you won't let yourself feel some feeling and you're not choice about expression and it's created some kind of boundary problem so for example you want to like be able to let go and you can't that'd be a boundary all around one theme and um it's going to be a reenactment of a of that theme it's not like a way of protecting yourself so it's not the protection

that's the problem like sometimes you know um you come in with a problem and it's really not the problem it's a way you make sure you don't feel something worse right but this is going to be a reenactment of the theme itself so let's find out what it is is it in the material realms yes is it in the non-material realms no all that means is you can experience the theme in that story through your five senses that's all it means not like somebody put a curse on you when you know you saw the result of it but you didn't know they actually did it this is going to be someone hit you or cut off your head or you betrayed them or something find out what it is so we we get to the right answer. I'm gonna go backwards.

Here we go. Split, no. Multiple, no. Neglect, no. Grudge, no. Death wish, no. Dead parts, no. Wounded, no.

Double bind, okay. Double bind. a double bind okay so that everything in the universe were to work on a double bind okay i'm going to explain a double bind to you have you ever heard i don't know your background well yeah i'm remembering these as you um go through them, and it's quite useful to hear you explain. It's very useful to hear you explain. Well, let me explain to you what a double bind is, because it's really kind of a virulent thing.

A double bind is when you want something, right? And if you don't get it, you're going to be unhappy. But if you do get it, you're going to be even more unhappy, and there's no way to communicate about the process you do get it you're going to be even more unhappy and there's no way to communicate about the process i'll tell you what i mean let's suppose you're a toddler okay and your mother puts her arms out this is the classic by bateson your mother goes like this i don't know if you can see me and puts her arms out like saying hug me and you go into your mother's arms or your father's arms we're not going to be

gender oriented here and you can feel their body free so that there's two different levels of communication one is more conscious they put out their arms but the other is more subliminal and you respond because getting this hug now means that your parent doesn't love you because they froze and you believe that means they don't love you which is even worse so of course what you do is you back away and then they say what's the matter don't you love me that's a double bind so and there's no way to communicate about it if you could say no that's not the problem the problem is you put out your arms to hug me and when i came in right to you to get the hug, you froze. So I know you really didn't want to hug me.

So go look at yourself because you believe if you said that, they would slug you or something. And that's not possible. So you have to like buy their reality, at which point you become stuck. You either become crazy or you become paralyzed. And then people say, what's the matter with you? And what's the matter with you is that you're getting these different messages that are on different levels right and yeah you understand what i mean yeah no that totally makes sense good because i don't know your life at all but it says that's why you're stuck here and that's and that would say that

some of your anger is impotent rage it It's like a kind of powerlessness, like something is wrong in the state of Denmark, but there's nothing much you can do about it keeps you angry but like unexpressible anger and mainly it makes you feel crazy or it makes you feel like you can't make any movement in any direction am i making sense to you that is making sense and my body feels really grounded when you start talking about that you know it's like i'm really glued to the chair which i think is good okay that makes sense so what we now know is some of the things that you're talking about here and why you're sort of stuck and you can't move on has to do with something about this and that has something to do with your mother also it may have started with your mother it may have started someplace else but part of why you had this kind of push pulley relationship you know um and not being able to move all you say you know whatever's

holding me back from moving on um and wanting to dismiss her but and withdraw but you're still stuck right it's this pattern where you want something like you may want to have closeness or whatever it is that you say no this isn't closeness this is they're not going to give me what i want but they're not going to have a cop to it they'll demand something of me or they won't provide me what i need but they'll be smiling faces or something but i'll know underneath it it isn't true and we can't even talk about it that's what yeah yeah that sounds very familiar well bad but but you can do something about it because that's apparently what you're bringing to the situation we have to ignore that okay so that's it out of everything

do we have to name sometimes you have to name what those things are but sometimes if you can feel in your body you don't even need to name it because you'll discover it. We don't even have to name it. So all we know is you want something. If you don't get it, you're going to be unhappy. But if you get what you think you want, it's going to be even worse. And you're going to feel like you're in a one down place and there's no way to talk about it. And you're going to feel paralyzed or nuts okay that's all we know so far clear yep good so that's it out of everything and we don't need to find that the what you wanted or what you didn't want or anything yet that'll all become clear if you drop in okay so we don't need to know anything else about the particulars we'll find it, okay? It's interesting, which I will say to you is not standard.

It's not unusual, but it's typically you need more clue, but apparently you're feeling grounded the way you'll find everything about this and we'll transform it. All right, so that's it out of everything. It's worded exactly correctly. Yes, do we have to refine it? No, we have 100% permission.

And we're just to work on that blocked intention. Is there any other steps we're to do? That's where you're stuck. It says that's the most important thing to do out of everything. And we have 100% permission. We're done with that part. We're going to work on that directly. That means you don't need any more clues.

The next thing you get information about story. So I want you to have some kind of information. So we're looking for a narrative and a root cause. We're looking for one of each. So this crystallized in a moment. It's like that moment where you didn't get the hug. And then we've been playing it out ever since. a narrative and a root cause we're looking for one of each so this crystallized in a moment it's like that moment where you didn't get the hug and then you've been playing it out ever since so we're looking for a particular moment let's find out where that moment is does it origin oh well one

of the reasons that it's not about your mother is it doesn't origin it's not something that happened to you so it is originating your lifetime it says no so this that what that says to me is this is a theme that you could say is a core theme in your life you've been trying to work out and it isn't about you and your mother on that level you're playing out with your mother uh echo of something worse you know where you ended up getting killed for all of this or you know whatever so even the thing with your mother is not going to be where it crystallized it's going to be just trying to help you remember something from some other lifetime and we're going to find out what that is okay you still with me yeah i'm totally with you and his other lifetimes

okay with you i totally okay with me let's find out there are two kinds of what let's find out if it's a past life could be something else is a past life so it's a past life is a genial it's not genealogical it means it's not your bloodline so it doesn't it means it's not your grandmother on your mother's side for example it's not genealogical and so soul comes through blood it comes through energy so it's going to be probably karmic so it's karmic which means that it's you like if you this is your belief structure it's you in another lifetime where you've been reincarnated from, and you're living out an echo of something that happened to you in this karmic light. Okay.

So far so good. Yeah. You're not going to tell me a story so far about you or blood relatives, but you could be anybody, gender, you can be an animal if you like, but you are going to be you and you're not going to be your blood relatives. That's all I know so far. Let's see if you need any more clues, which would be when it took place, where it took place. It's who, what, when, where, why, how, and or if you know the story.

You need no more clues. Okay. So all you needed, because less is more, all your soul wants you to know is you're reenacting, you're reliving something from another lifetime. And it's karmic. So we're going to get there through a sensation the best way to do this is through a body sensation the other way is through trance but no one really falls for that so we do it through a body sensation anything deepen amplify set up or transpersonal and all that means is you can do this in any position like most people like to sit

and keep their eyes closed but it says you can do it any way you like and it's a story about you it's not you is empathing somebody else's story it's gonna you're gonna be the main character and it's gonna be something that you experienced all right so any practices to find now so we don't need to find anything to prepare we may i'll check again later but right now it's saying whoever this is is saying they just need right now to share their story let's find out are you fully in state which means it's fully available and it says yes so here's what i'd like you to do we know that everything you said is relevant because it's an echo of something else but the thing that's most relevant is this whole thing

i really wanted something i really it feels really important. And if I don't get it, it's going to be bad news. But paradoxically, if I do get it, it's going to be even worse. The thing I think I wanted, and I'm going to feel like I'm in this one down place and there's no way to talk about it. So it's almost like I have to buy into their reality, even if it makes me paralyzed or crazy. Now, all I want you to do, close your eyes. Someone else is here. You're getting traumatized right now, which means if you scan your body and fully allow this experience you're having, you want to feel something empty, queasy, pressure, heaviness. So scan your body, pain, pressure, heaviness. So scan your body, pain, numb, lightheaded, and just tell me what you're noticing as we're allowing all this.

So what I'm noticing is a tightness in my chest around the level of my heart. And it feels like a, yeah. And then it feels like something's going down my arms. Yeah. And the outside of my arms down to my little finger. Yeah.

And it feels like something's moving and the feeling I get and the image I get is sort of anguish and it's someone who's anguished over a loss that's right, stay with with it just be this person from the inside out like you are like play this role because you feel it it's really strong muscle test there's anguish over a loss stay with it and uh

yeah someone has lost something like a child or something like that and they're blaming themselves for it and then it was like i don't know whether it was a multiple things i'm seeing but it was like a child was lost or a um a life was lost at sea and or someone was killed in a raid or something like that because if you stay with that sensation you'll know exactly what it is because everything you're saying you're right you're in the right place so you just be this person from the inside out like you're an actor in the role and you'll know exactly what happened and trust what you know okay yeah so i'm just tuning in to

what i'm feeling now i feel the back of my head and when I put my attention on that, the picture I get is of someone being hit around the back of the head of the club. Yep. Across my shoulders. There's pain, which is the anguish. pain which is the anguish and

and I feel also that just all the talking about it is putting it outside of me almost not that it is outside of me but I'm not it as much as I possibly was. Yeah. There's also a bit of a feeling of relief of that. Sort of finding this. And there's a sort of slight jitteriness in my body.

Like, I'm afraid as well and just this feeling of like wanting something and knowing you couldn't get it and wanting to fix something or make something right you couldn't because it was too late

the person you wanted to had been killed I was incapacitated in some way. Stay with it. You want something so much.

It's like this image of someone on the ground reaching for something that couldn't get it physically couldn't move and yeah

it feels like I'm sort of releasing something. I can feel my heels on the ground. My feet are hot, especially around the heels. My body's a little bit shaking. And the legs as well.

And there's sort of twitchiness to it, as if I'm releasing something. There was, before we started, there was an apprehension. Now I feel like that has dissipated. Yeah. Well, maybe that, I don't know what I need to do anymore. Maybe I've got the whole story or enough of the story

I'll check for you because I'm going to check and see I don't know if I need to do anything more that may be you but it also may be this person in the story which would be a great thing because it probably was a story where that person felt like they needed to do something

more, you know, to try something, but they could never do it. And maybe that was what was even worse than seemingly getting what they want. So that would make sense. That was them saying that, actually. That wasn't you.

That's interesting. Say that again? That was not you saying that. That was them. You know, when you say, maybe I don't need. That's interesting. Say that again? That was not you saying that. That was them. You know, when you say, maybe I don't need to do anything else. Maybe I have the whole thing. I don't need to do anything more. That wasn't you.

That was them. Oh. Which is probably why you're feeling some sense of relief. Yeah. Because they're saying, maybe I can be at peace about all this. Yeah, yeah. Yes. I'm sort of

thinking about that story and it was as if the person knew they'd made a mistake and they couldn't fix it that's right so it was

this incredibly painful thing oh I did something wrong now now I cannot fix it. And it's so painful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My guess is if we needed to, my guess is that the reason that they did this wrong thing

and made a mistake was there was something they really thought they wanted. to my guess is that the reason that they did this wrong thing and made a mistake was there was something they really thought they wanted and when they went for it they realized it was a really bad idea and then they couldn't fix it and they couldn't do anything about it

and it was almost even an unnameable thing probably because that would totally fit the double bind let's find out if you have the whole story we asked you asked you the muscle testing so first of all you have the whole story it says you do have the whole story do we need to know exactly what you know the whole thing that was wanted that uh you didn't get in the story or the or the worst thing that happened we don't have to spell it out okay let's find out if that person needs any practices they don't need any practices so you just apparently wow so we have the whole story

and there are no more practices that's pretty cool you release something all on your own because usually there is a practice that goes with this pattern but it says you don't need it let's find out do we have to make any connections between that and the original things you came in with he says we don't have to make any kind of explicit connections between this story and your current situation with your wife or your situation with your mother somehow or other this will transform it and we don't have to make it explicit for whatever reasons right now okay you can if you like but you don't need to so i know if you balance the original intention you balance the original intention 100 percent

of all levels that's really strong shall we check the level separately no shall we check the intention no shall we check your field all, here's how we're going to know. Well, that tightness you had in your chest right here, see how that feels now. Yeah, there's a sensation right in the middle, a little bit of pressure, but it's not like this binding thing across my chest. So that feels different and what about that whole thing that was going down your arms see if that feels different also

yeah that flow has faded, it feels like it's lost its intensity. I'm aware of my little finger still and around my elbow. So it feels like something is still there, but it feels like it's sort of smoothing out or not so intense. That's because sort of smoothing out you know not so intense that's because it is smoothing out

and not so intense that part will take care of itself okay um the thing in your arm is gonna it is it's just gonna echo away i'm gonna check the what's left here tell me one other thing um and I'm going to check for you, because this is to ask. In the beginning, you said, I had this real sense of anguish because of a loss. If that feels any different right now? If that anguish doesn't feel like so much there,

that deep anguish? Has it changed? No, I don't feel that strongly but i have to say i remember um when i first got together with my wife we had a period of a year or something and then because there was big age difference we sort of separated for a bit and that was incredibly painful for me and i would describe it as anguish over a loss and i felt like i had this big hole in my heart that she'd been filling and one of my goals was to go well obviously i wanted to be with her because it felt so good that that hole in my heart got filled but also one of my goals was to go well i i want to feel

that myself as well and although you know so there wasn't this time when things changed there wasn't the same anguish there although i i was really sad about you know losing a friend and the intimacy and the night sky. I'm still going to be connected with it because we've got three kids. There was more sadness than that anguish I had before. Well, my guess is there was still an overlay of that anguish, but my guess is if you just pay attention and be curious you'll just notice a difference but i'd be skeptical but just check

say that about being skeptical again i didn't well i think there was still a level of anguish that was there that was this story about this loss feeling like um you had gone for something that getting it you wanted it but when you got it something worse came out of it and i have a feeling that's just gonna be not there and i think i'll take care of the rest of your anguish but you'll just notice if you notice a difference all right let me see if they want to see anything more here so can we find out do you still have a little bit of that dense feeling in the center of your chest? Yeah, across the top of my chest here,

it feels like it's always been there. It feels like it probably has. Yeah. I'm going to check about that. Okay, you're part of this or you need something. Nope, you're in the next layer. No, you're something more. Oh, it has something more to share with you.

So I want you to bring all your attention to that dense energy across the chest just choose to become it like again like an actor you're going to choose to become dense that's your new name dense energy across chest you want to be it from the inside out like you that's who you are and you're just going to say what more of you come to share energy across chest and you just say whatever comes i don't uh yeah i feel like there's a a cry of anguish there. I don't want to do it, you know, I don't want to make this, I don't want to cry out. Because that's the picture I have is this crying out of anguish. I really don't want to do it. I don't want to do that.

It's just like, okay. There's a cry out of anguish, but I don't want to do it. That's right. And it reminds me of, you know, it's really hard for me to sing know it's really hard for me to sing and it's really hard for me to hold a tune

or sing a note and I'm sort of, my hands go into my throat here so maybe there is something more to do with it it's this feeling like if I say what I want something bad is going to happen

that's right yeah that's it I'm not allowed to say what I want because a bad things will happen so it's better to sort of hide or not say not say what you want or not say the truth

because if you do something people don't understand or bad things happen. That's right. That's it. So it's all my my throats and my ears.

I want to keep my eyes shut I don't mind at all keep your eyes shut just stay with it and see what more there is if there's anything more tightness or anything more you want to share anything more about what's happening

what you're saying I want to share anything more about what's happening what you're saying I want to cry out in English but I don't I can't sing if I say what I really want to say something really bad will happen is there more you wish to share about what's happening

and I'm aware of my sort of first chakra area you know down at the base of my spine at the front it feels like sort of a sort of shaky sensation

which I associate a bit with fear or something my body is sort of shaking shaky sensation there which I associate a bit with fear or something like that my body is sort of shaking in that area yeah and it's it's you know it it's in that area that's the area of the masculine which is about doing stuff what I'd say has become shak. Then you won't have to try to understand it in your head. Just become shakiness in first chakra area in the root. Say shakiness. What have you come to share about shakiness? This sort of foundational shakiness. What have you come to share? When I when I go when I

put my attention down, so I can hear a voice saying, you don't need to be afraid. It's almost like recognizing that I'm not a little kid or, you know, there's no way I'm a kid. My dad died at the beginning of the end of December. And we just had his funeral the other day. It was interesting to sort of, I wrote a tribute to him. And one of the things I said was that he was a kind man, which he was. And the thing I'm getting when I sort of focus down in that area is this is something to do with

sort of recognizing myself as a man. Yeah. I suppose. Just want to say owning it but it doesn't it's more like being it like somehow the masculine the masculine is bad.

So it's like having to be so careful. You're a man. so careful you're a man not to make a mistake there's a whole level of caution

and fear is there because it's a carry on from that original thing I was talking about I suppose I'm thinking about my dad because I think he had some

of that caution as if he would get really angry I think he had some of that caution as if he would get really angry and he would not be able to control himself, something was an element of having to never be that you know always be the opposite of kind and gentle. So I'm feeling like there was this fear coming out. That's where my attention is going still is down into that area.

The lower part of my body around my hips, around my first chakra, around the groin. It feels like I'm breathing down. I can feel my diaphragm moving, but it feels like it's moving right down, just almost down the bottom of my pelvis, down where my pelvis is. Just staying with that.

It feels like a shakiness down there. But it's just staying with the feeling of breathing. Having those sort of tremors almost there, wearing my heels again, like something's going out my heels. It feels like my body wants to shake. or like these little tremors going through my whole body which I associate with sort of releasing what I think of as releasing ... and then there's a sort of whole question about is that right

is that right I'm asking has that happened which I think is part of it too happens. Which I think is part of it too. So my head is sort of saying that you know, something's been unblocked and then it's having all these sort of saying that, you know, something's been unblocked, and then it's having all these sort of effects of like, when you knock over a block, and then it knocks over the next

one. So all those things, all the things I'm talking about at the heart of that and I'm just still paying attention down you know my attention is still drawn down to my hips and my pelvis sitting in the chair it feels like it's settling a bit now like I'm getting more my hips and my pelvis sitting in the chair. It feels like it's settling a bit now, like I'm getting more like I'm getting glued

to the chair again. I feel like it's getting really cramped. The tremors are still there in my legs and also in my legs and also

it's amazing it's just like little twitches you know my body probably looks still but it feels like it's twitching in every direction tremoring all like all across the surface. When this separation thing happened last July, that was actually one of the things that happened then. A similar thing, feeling like my body was really

tremoring in the same way. Which I saw as a positive thing actually. actually. Okay. That's like, like, I wasn't interested in controlling it. Okay. It sounds like you know something about when you can let go a little bit of the control and let life express itself without feeling like you're going to get out of control. Yeah.

It's a good thing. My intention is definitely to release and let things move. How's this area feeling now? I'm sort of aware of it, it's not tight now, I'm sort of aware of it it's not tight now I'm sort of aware of my throat and that area it feels like there's more to happen

in my throat I think that's true and I don't know if it needs to happen now maybe it's a thing that happens as time goes by. We can do another session.

Yeah. If you like. Yeah. Let me check in. Let's find out if we've heard enough from this. Which we have. And the trembling down there is a release. That seems okay.

Does this feel like whatever's left of the trembling does it feel bad good neutral how's it feeling to you the trembling is fine um i'm just sort of thinking about my throat and that and i'm wondering if i'm finished there oh you're not um let me find out for you part of this oh it's it's the next layer something else is coming up okay it doesn't it wants its own time but you know come a long way in less than an hour it's not bad but it's like an archaeological dig it so this is the next layer so um you can work with it yourself or i can work with it with you whatever we can talk about that okay but let's see if you're done all right so we've done enough with this we've done enough with the tension and

chest after anything more and this is saying it can hold on so you don't have to you can do it yourself just drop in like you can always just drop in like you're an actor choosing to play a role and let it share whatever it wants to you can do that on your own anyway we all can but that's up to you but let's not do it now because we're coming to our completion all right so um but you're balanced and taking care of the sensations let's find out are there any other lessons to learn so you don't have to articulate anything else but whatever lessons you've learned it says you've got them you can say like i ask a whole series of questions to make sure you've got this and can live differently

there are like 12 of them we have to ask any of those no they're all taken care of do you have to affirm this no is it fully affirmed yes that means all parts of you are lined up and you don't need any ongoing practices or change your behavior or anything you should just see if um um you feel a little freer and less constrained and more free and less you know if you uh are who you are you're going to create a catastrophe and just assume that nothing will change and then you know you might want to spend you know 15 or 20 seconds at the end of every day and say something different about the fact that uh i might be able to get what i want and really get

what i truly want and not have a nightmare be associated with it and just just check it out i think um goal setting has always been tricky for me you know and i do think i've continually hit a bit of an impasse when i've gone to go well what do i want and if i actually get through it and and name the goals you know i have pretty good success. Getting to that point where you go, I want this. There's been a lot of fear and survival around me. Apparently, that was this person. That should make it easier.

That makes sense in terms of background harm of my life. It makes a lot of sense, what we worked on. It's like a deep pattern i think yeah i think that's true well it said it says it was a pattern of your life let's see if there's anything else so you were here for help and health anything more for this one for the one in the

story for all those in the family and for all before we leave this work now so is the work on this complete yes is it done is there anything else so is our work complete for now we're done for now so why don't you take a second and this part's done if just be with yourself and if there's anything you want to say about how you are what touched you or what it was like doing this work because i don't even know when the last time you've done it so or anything about working with me or anything about anything as a way of completion the floor is yours. And if you just want to sit, that's fine too, whatever you like.

I just want to say thanks. It's good. The stuff you do is great. And I remember it. And it makes my heart feel full and recognized and that this truth being found that's really really good and um and it's really powerful and i remember when i first saw you do some work with someone i felt a similar thing i got it today with myself so

when we were narrowing in at the beginning that was really good and i remember you know all of the work i did myself in my training and And I think the thing I'd forgotten was that I'd been reminded of by listening to some of your podcasts and stuff was this thing of connecting, you know, finding the body sensation, but also being curious about it and finding out what it has to say to you. finding out what it has to say to you so getting that dialogue going and i think a lot of times i will find a body sensation and then go okay well there's tension there i want to get rid of it and i don't have a conversation with it it's more i've got to fix it or i've got to solve this problem so that's what i was thinking was a very useful reminder was that just the skill of being with what's there inside you, not wanting it to change, to change it,

but seeing what it has to tell you. So I know you know that, but I'm sort of knowing it now. I know it. You know it now. I know it better. Yeah. The best way to let go of something is to say, I will fully, fully, fully choose to become it. And then I'm the one who is associated with the one who is choosing

and bearing witness and holding. And if you want to get rid of it, it's like wanting to get rid of one of your children. It it's part of your story you can't get rid of it you've got to know it first so it's good good so thank you very much it's good where would you like to go from here we can do another session if you want and um um and i will cut this off from the end right here. I'll tell my person to do that. But if there's anything more you want to say about how you'd like to proceed, or if you want this Zoom, if you want us to put this out in my podcast,

do you want it not? You tell me, because you get to choose. Can I have a little bit of time to think about that? You certainly can. So you think about that. And if you want to do another session, because I think you have another session, I'm happy to do it with you the same way.

If you decide you want it on Zoom, because I'm happy to do a follow-up and you won't have to pay, or you can pay. And now that I've got you in here, you can see me if you want um because that's just the way it is yeah yeah um my first thought is that it would be fine to have it be as a published thing if you think that's suitable because yeah it was it was very much about me yeah yeah and the details weren't needed of anyone else yeah i think that's true i didn't i i would have been shocked if it had not been what it was i mean i didn't know until i know but yeah yeah but you

thought about it and um i think you want to do another session because I think there's more work to do and but that's up to you so um if you think you want another session you may want to set it up right now because you can always cancel but I'm very busy and we have each other here so if you think there's any possibility you might want to say why don't we find a time right now and then um you know you can all i would like to do another session and i'm thinking about um in some time in three weeks or something like that is that what sort of time frame are you thinking about i am thinking about since i'm starting a writing which actually i could do that i could could do it on February 28th, if you want, which is a Monday.

someone to pick up some of my kids and also i have to do it on a day when my wife is picking up the other ones so it's all a bit complicated well that's right now i am pretty much entirely free that day i'm free 9 30 a.m my time eastern standard time on tuesday and after that we're going into a writing retreat for two and a half weeks. So that's why I want, if you want to just tell me as soon as you can, because the time is going to go away. This time I want to run the thing in before we start. Do you do this for work? I don't even know what your story is.

Yeah. So I, when I did the training with Tony and Kathy, I was a teacher. And I did all the sort of sessions I needed to get certified and then life happened I can't remember if I had a baby or whatever and so I continued being a teacher and I so I didn't actually get to the point of being a practitioner I've done a lot of this type of stuff um and um wow that's a good one um I just made myself another session there but um and then I retired from teaching about um seven year eight years ago and seven years ago and now I'm then I a couple of the years after that i bought an organic fruit farm so now i'm an organic fruit farmer and i um grow organic fruit and sell it and try you know sort of have a lot of fun make a living doing that and i do a lot of tai chi and qigong

yeah so that's that's me now it's fruit farm. Well, if you ever want to do it, it's like riding a bicycle. You can redo the training at half price or we do it online now. So if you want to, it's there for you. And if you don't want to, it's still there for you. Anyway, this has been a pleasure. Just get back to me as quickly as you can. And I would love to do another session with you in any way you want to do it is fine with me. Okay. thanks andy so much yeah bye-bye okay see you

bye thank you very much