Heroes in Business - Triple Center Patterns

Episode Date: April 26, 2022

We describe eight patterns including  split, power, deathwish, fractured, boundaries, grudge, neglect and wounded. The core experiences revealed and how to heal. Opportunity to do your own healing work in this episide of Guided Self Healing, Fearless Living with Dr Andrew Hahn. 

Hi, this is Dr. Andrew Han, and this is episode 44 of Guided Self-Healing, Fearless Living. And today, again, it's the end of March of 2022. 2022. And so what I want to invite you to do is we're going to enter into a whole new world today called Triple Center Patterns. And Triple Center Patterns are about mythic stories that are really throughout all of life. And're also throughout myth you know and they are stories that are universal in nature and thematically they carry with them sort of these deep deep themes like betrayal or neglect or I feel like I'm not all here or and as you can see you can really boil them down to one core experience even though of course many things come out of the core experience so these are deep themes and the way I would be with these themes is if you're doing your own healing work and you're

doing that from this just see if they resonate with you if it touches something in you and you get some kind of discomfort when you hear about them and if you do that means it's probably very available to you and then I would say you know the program. And if you want to do your work while you're doing this, just we're going to take them one at a time. And I'm going to run through half of the ones, the material realms in this podcast, and then I'm going to finish them up in the next one. And then the one after that, we're going to go to the non-material realms. And the only difference again, between the material go to the non-material realms and the only difference again between the material realms and the non-material realms is whether you get to experience this

uh pattern and the stuck place in this pattern through your five senses and they're in what we might call normative western reality or if you you may not or if they're non-material you may experience them the consequence of them through your five senses but you won't necessarily experience the trauma itself through your five senses but you might um but they're certainly not in what we would say is normative western reality they're stories of curses or entities or ghosts or energies that feel bigger than you that take you over or all kinds of extraterrestrial stories whether literally extraterrestrial like little green people or stories of traumas around gods and goddesses or even angels so they're those kinds of stories. And sometimes people identify with the human beings in the stories. And sometimes they identify with those beings from other dimensions or

other types of beings. So having said that, we're going to go on our journey around all these patterns together. And the first pattern we're going to talk about is a split or a multiple. And a split or a multiple just means that you don't feel like you're all there. It's sort of like you're going along being integrated like a holographic plate. And then something happens, and if it's a split, the breaks in two so to speak and there's typically a bigger piece of a smaller piece and if it's a multiple it's more like humpty dumpty and you know there are multiple pieces when you you know fell off the wall so to speak and so all of them have a kind of life of their own it's like being split off into a lot of different

pieces um and actually that is the experience of this, it'd be like, if you really were a holographic plate, and you were broken too. And so on the surface, there would be two different experiences, like almost like two different timelines. But of course, underneath it, they would be linked together, because they really are still one being, but, and you're still one being, but it doesn't feel like you're all not, you know, it doesn't feel like you're all there. And there are lots of ways splits can come up. So let me tell you what the core experience is, and then, and how it might occur, and then what you might want to do with it. So the core experience of a split is something like either a part of me is missing like i'm not

all here like a part of me has gone away and we call that in our field if you're a psychologist it's like dissociation it's like i'm not fully in my body or a part of me isn't fully in my body uh if you're in a different tradition you might call it a lost soul part so a part has like escaped, so to speak. And even though it's still connected and you can still identify, you know, where your body is and you can be in your body and feel like you're not all here, or you can actually be witnessing your body from someplace else and being

outside your body. And yet your body still must have some part of you there because it's still alive. If no part of you there because it's still alive if no part of you was there of course it would die um so there's this idea of both again there's two different kinds of experiences when you have a split in one of them it feels like the experience is I'm not all here or a part of me is missing or I don't have access to all of myself or or sometimes people just feel like I don't have all of my energy it's like I'm not or I'm not integrated that can be another experience of it and it feels like part of me isn't even here at all um and in those circumstances

it really is a dissociative process i mean like you know if you looked at it from a certain point of view it would be like if there's a certain kind of trauma which we'll talk about later like violence and part of you is now witnessing the whole thing that's happening from a wall or from above or whatever and it just means that part of you said, I can't stay in my body. It's too painful. It's too scary. I have to go. And you can identify with the part that's gone, or you can identify with the part that's still there, but some other part went actually works both ways. So that's one way this plays out. The other way it plays out, which is still a split, but it's a different experience, which is like you're split in two. And the experience of that is like literally there's't feel like they are integrated at all. It feels like they're broken apart from each other. And people will talk about that in very clear ways. They will

literally talk about it like they'll say, it feels like there's a line right down my middle, and the left side and the right side aren't connected with each other, and that they would have themes that were perhaps related to the left and right side splits, which might be something like the more receptive and more assertive parts of me can't get together, or I'm stuck in the little picture and logic, or I'm stuck in a big picture and intuition, but I can't find a way of marrying the two,

or my thoughts are disconnected from my feelings, or my sexuality is disconnected from my feelings, or my sexuality is disconnected from my expression of love. So you'll hear these split off aspects of self over and over and over again. And all one needs to do in this situation is if you can literally experience that split in the body, which people can do if you have, you know, if you experience I'm not all here or I'm split in two or my feelings are disconnected from my thoughts, you'll notice a discomfort. And the discomfort, of course, will take you home to the moment that that split happened. And typically, all you need to do is find that moment by choosing to be the sensation and letting it share its story and will tell you the

origin story at which point in a funny way it then masters whatever happened and then all things being equal you'll come back but of course if you don't just fully come back together you will do some kind of practice that will bring you back together whether it's something that is like what we call frontal occipital holding which would be putting your hands on your forehead and on the back of your head. And that would be for, if you were split out of your body or there was a split between the occiput

and the frontal lobes, which means you'd see something and then you'd lose your capacity for executive function. Or it could be a left-right split, at which point you would do some kind of crossing midlines. Or if it's a top-bottom split, typically the most called for interventions there are acupressure interventions if just finding the story isn't enough. So that's

the first story. So take a moment, if that story resonates with you, please, you know, spend a few moments and feel it in your body and let it share its story story now we're going to go on to power patterns and power patterns um which you know they're they're patterns really where in some kind of sense where there's some kind of hierarchy often patriarchy but it doesn't just have to be patriarchy although that's the broad context in which this often happens, but it can be in any context. There's a sense of if I really spoke from my place of being empowered or acted from my place of being empowered, something horrific would happen. get exiled, I might get ostracized, I might get outcast, but whatever I'm going to, I might get jailed, you know, whatever it's going to be. And you feel like you're in a one-down place, whether it's in a family or in, you know, you're a woman in patriarchy or you're African-American in

predominantly white culture or your religion, which isn't the predominant religion, and there's hierarchy around that. So there's all kinds of places this can play out, obviously. But the whole point is when you speak, and really, you know, in our culture right now, where patriarchy is a very big deal, a lot of this clearly has to do with the role of women and how women were the natural healers. They were the priestesses. They were, you know, and then they were stifled, and the natural healing that they knew how to do was forbidden, or any of the processes that they knew as a way of being integrated and creating a world of union was destroyed and even union of course with the mother with the earth and of course that was all wiped out of religions and wiped out of science and wiped out of everything and now of course we're coming back into a place of slow reintegration and honoring of the real power of that force,

that receptive feminine force, you know, which is a very active force. It's coming back and there's a much greater honoring of it. there's a much greater honoring of it so if that resonates with you again power and when you speak from your power or act from your power you get silenced or ostracized or outcast or exiled or killed or whatever it is then you will have uh you have to let that part is part you have to become it from the inside out and let it speak. And then, of course, not only do we have to do our own healing about that, but there is, of course, healing in the body of the culture. And that needs deep healing also. And we can do that work.

We'll work individually, but you can also do it collectively. and if we all do that work collectively which is individual work but also collective work we literally can change the world and transmute all this and make it better so that's the second pattern third pattern we want to talk about is the death wish and the death wish um pattern is literally a part of you experiences, I want to die. Now, I want to die has a lot of different aspects to it. But the common theme is I want to die from the perspective of the one who's experiencing it. Now, clearly not all of you wants to die because if all of you wanted to die, you would be dead. And in fact, if a large majority of you wants to die, you probably have suicidal thoughts

or maybe you've tried to quit suicide or you're in major depressions or something like that. Because that's the way a death wish can play out. But what you need to know is that there is different aspects to death wishes. And one of them is more psychological. And one of them is more sort of, it's clearly psychological, but in a whole different way. I'll tell you what I mean. The one way that a death wish shows up is literally, I wish I were dead. I want to die. And there is that experience, life would be better off if I were dead.

The most difficult aspect of that is people, there are some people who experience, in order to be loved, I need to die. And often, uh, stories of what is called projective identification. And projective identification simply means that, I mean, the standard idea of it is that when you were a child, uh, one of your parents couldn't accept something in themselves and they project it onto you. That's the rejection part, right? Because they want, they can't stand it in themselves. And then they see it in you and you

identify with it because you need your parents love and children will do whatever it takes to get their parents love so they take in that projection and identify with it and then of course the parent seeing it in their child will then attack it in the child and the child will have the experience in order to receive your love i I have to want to die, or I have to, you know, be dead, or it'll come out in a variety of ways. And that is, of course, an extremely painful and difficult situation. And if you know that place, you can heal it if you can really let yourself experience it. But then there's a whole other aspect of of i want to die and these stories are typically obviously as you're going to hear not in this

lifetime however you want to understand that because there's stories of traumatic deaths and in a traumatic death what happens is that one part of you in that moment right before death in the story something so horrific is going to happen physically emotionally spiritually whatever it is that that part says I can't I can't stay here I have to leave I have to dissociate or I have to go away and then of course the body dies it's killed or something happens and it's sort of like the experience of I left home and there was a home there and I came back and it had burned down. There's no longer a home. So I'm kind of stuck here. And you would have a funny experience because you would know in your imagination, you would know, like you'd have the information that you died,

but you would never have experienced dying. You never had that experience of going through a death process. So you're kind of stuck here. So from that point of view, whoever is there would be experiencing, I want to experience dying, which they would say is I want to die. And the process there typically is that they'll be dissociated from their body.

And then you come back into the body, right before you die, you let yourself fully die, and you leave to the crown of the head. And you leave the body behind. And instead of looking down, you look up. And typically, at that point, you see something or imagine something or send something that feels like a very heightened vibration, most people see light light and then they just go to that light and let it embrace them like embraced by the light until they become the light at which point it all transforms so that's a death wish um the next pattern we're going to talk about is fractured boundaries fractured boundaries is literally what it sounds like if it's like uh you're porous it'd be like if you were a tire and you had a blowout and there was all kinds of holes in the tire, so to speak. And Fractured Boundaries has two different experiences in it.

And people who have that story, you know, it's sort of like the core story for me when I first really discovered this experientially with a client was someone who said, no matter what I do to nourish myself, I'm anemic. And it turned out it was a story like this where actually they had been like drawn and quartered, but they hadn't died and all of their life force was leaking out of them and nothing could keep it inside. And they played that story out over and over and over again. And, you know, it came to me because what happened is literally the healings would leak out of them too. They'd have the most amazing healings. They come back next week and they'd say it didn't stick. You know, I finally said, Oh my gosh, that's the problem is nothing here sticks. You know, it took me about five sessions to really you know

get it it was like it was like all the healings were leaking out of them that's it it wasn't like they hadn't happened but it was like they didn't they weren't contained anymore they had leaked out just like the blood had leaked out and you know it was all over the place so we could then call the healings back because the healings actually have their own energy which is really quite something and then the person started you know to to do this wonderful nourishment of themselves and then their anemia went away the second experience of fractured boundaries is not that something leaks out of you but that you leak out of a container yourself and the experience of that is like feeling like an empty husk like i'm it's like, I'm not there. And the profound anxiety that goes with like saying,

like, I feel like it's like eyes, you know, without a face. Or it's like, you know, it's like, you know, just Gatsby with a wonderful image of these eyes, like, you know, that are just looking out, but there's nothing behind it. And that's the felt sense of this. It's like you've leaked out of yourself. And people usually have really, that's associated with depression along with severe anxiety, because there's a terror that goes with that.

I'm not there. I'm just not here. Where am I? I don't know where I am. And there's a terror that goes with that, obviously, also. And no matter what you do, do clearly at some point or other when you find the original story often what will happen is you need a vibrational practice that will sort of seal the holes whether it's light or sound or which are typical ones some kind of people can actually channel if you're a channel you can channel light into those areas and you know we can all do that because we're all channels of source energy. But that's the idea of a fractured boundary. And so that's it.

So we're now going to go on to the next pattern called a grudge. And a grudge basically is what it sounds like. And what a grudge really is, is a violation of values. When you're grudged that someone violated your values but the problem then is that you act in such a way that guarantees that the values will continue to be violated because you're stuck in the original story so it's sort of like you know the child who goes out to play basketball and somebody steals their basketball but you know the older kids or the bigger kids take their basketball won't let the child play and the child finally gets their basketball back and says i'm going to take my

ball and go home and i'm never going to play again and who gets hurt that child gets hurt that child never gets to play basketball again because they're they're acting in such a way that guarantees they'll never get to play the game because their value was violated that you know i should have been included and then they of course feel they're never included and that's what happens with a grudge um so the acting in such a way that guarantees that the value that was violated in the first place which is that i should have had a chance to be participate and belong and be included and play in the game you never get to play the game and what you do with a grudge is you basically go back and you do anything different in the first situation in your imagination you can do anything

you like because any behavior would have been better than what happened in reality at least in the inner world so you can do anything you want as that child but anything would have been better than just saying i'm going to take my ball go home and never leave the house again so i invite you if you've had this quality which a lot of us had it's like we're like you know we're gonna say really all right well you treat me this way and there's a passive aggressive quality in grudges really really. That's the problem. So there's an aggression, like saying, you'll never use my ball again. But there's a passivity in it, like, because you don't really ever are able to assert yourself again. So, like, the way you're going to say, I'm going to hurt you.

I'm going to keep my ball and never go home and never play with you. But they don't suffer. You suffer. So that's the situation there. The last pattern I want to talk about today is neglect. Neglect is a very powerful pattern. And please, like I said, you know, take these one at a time, stop the videos, see if you feel them. Neglect, the core of a neglect trauma is I needed you. Like my life feels like it depended on it physically. Like, you know, I'm crying from milk and if I don't get the milk, I'll die. Or emotionally, like, you know, where are you? I need your, I need you to hold me and

you're not there. So it could be any kind of sense of like, I need you, like my life depends on it, and you're not there. And I have every reason to believe you ought to be there. And so when that happens, you know, the sense of like, as I say, I need you, like my life really feels like depends on it in some way. And I have every reason to believe you ought to be there, and you weren't there, and you weren't there for me. And what comes out of that can be all kinds of things there can be somebody who will always be needy or somebody who has pseudo-independence or someone who uh will be betrayed in relationship over and over and over again because people will abandon them because i found the original situation whatever it is um and all kinds of other stuff can come with neglect traumas like when you search for some substitute um or or a feeling of deadening inside all kinds of things can happen with it and all i

can say is if you can go back and do something, you know, differently. And typically a very powerful practice is a kind of reparenting practice, even if this happened later in life, where you say, it's like you go into your own deep heart and you are with that child, wherever that child is. It can be like in a child work, although what traumas are just about children, but you give them the experience and you say and do whatever it is that they most needed to have happen if they had gotten exactly what they needed. And that can be a very powerful practice. You literally say it to them or it's a story. You replay the story and say, this time I've got your back or whatever it is.

And it can be a very powerful thing. So thank you for going through these patterns. There's one more actually I do want to talk about, which is wounded patterns. And we've talked about wounded patterns a lot, but wounded patterns come out of the idea of a wounded healer. And in a wounded pattern, what basically is the story is I betrayed some kind of trust. I broke a covenant. I betrayed a trust. I broke a covenant around if you're a holy being in the story, around my own spiritual development or the spiritual development of my community. And, you know, I was someone who's supposed to be a leader of a community. And I set myself up as that leader.

And, you know, it's particularly difficult if you say not only that, but I'm an exemplar. And then of course you don't live it out. And that happens in this culture, you know, in patriarchy a lot. It doesn't just happen in patriarchy, but it happens a lot there. And, you know, the idea if you're,

but you don't, you know, but the idea is if you're in that position of such authority that if you betray the trust for ego and gain of purposes you know ratification whether it's sexual or monetary or power or whatever it is or or fame or whatever it is as opposed to just knowing that you're in service and a servant and a vessel, and that's your role, and to be humble about it, you know, it can really cause great havoc for you, and I will tell you the thing about wounded patterns is when you, you know, you often want to know what it was like from the other side, So, you know, if you've been a victim in this lifetime,

you'll often find out that you victimized in another lifetime around this kind of betrayal. And because you want to know what it was like, and the only way to know is to know firsthand. And so you'll play it out. But at the end of the day, you know, you can go back and the key with a wounded pattern is you have to do some kind of forgiveness and you have to know what it was like for the ones that you betrayed or you broke a trust with and you have to just listen to them with no defensiveness no focus on the self but just what it was like for them owning exactly what happened

and making commitment to knowing what happened so that you were motivated by something other than just a higher ideal uh and then empathic capacity to say what was it like for you when this happened and then this idea of finally at the end what are we going to do different so that something can come out of this that will be healing? And all of those practices are very powerful. So thank you so much for going on this journey. And we will continue in our next podcast. We'll continue down this road with the rest of the patterns. And again, our book is about to come out as I speak here, it'll come out next week on April 5th. And so by the time you see this, no doubt it will already be published and you can get it. It's called The One Hour Miracle. We really hope you like it if

you read it. And of course, if you ever want to be in touch with me, you can get me at ahahn, A-H-A-H-N at lifecenteredtherapy.com. And if you want to know anything about our trainings or anything else that we're doing, just go to lifecenteredtherapy.com, or you can join our community, and then you'll get a few emails where we're telling you what's going on. But it will be a pleasure, because the call to action here is we can really do something to make the world a place of more healing and more growth and more love and more realization that everything is there so until then i wish you well goodbye