Hey Riddle Riddle - #10: Judge, Jury, and Riddlecutioner

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

On this week's episode, Adal, Erin and JPC get summoned to Riddle Court, find out what happens when elves run afoul of the law, and meet some scientists in the middle of the ocean. All that plus a return to the magical world of SwanLumps. Riddle me interested!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: KJ SnyderTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle I'm Adore if I am JPC and I'm Aaron Deep and we're your premiere podcast for Riddies and Puzzies. How are we all doing today? Um, I'm so glad you asked. I'm doing the awful. How long do you have? Just kidding. Wouldn't that be funny? Sounds good, JPC. And I'm Aaron Keep. Aaron, I wanted to ask you. How are you doing today? Oh, I'm pretty awful. How much time do you have? Remember listeners, use the hashtag, keyfinite reel. I don't care what the context is. You're promoting your own thing.

You want to send Aaron some praise. Aaron Keefe deserves the hashtag, keyfinite reel. But please don't spell my name wrong. It's K-E-I-F, not K-I-E-F. E-I. That's a suggestion. Spelt how you want.

No, no, no. Like E-I-E-I-O-K-E EI okay EI and when we said sending errands and praise we met PR a YS that's right Pray to errand. She's your new God. She's the God of comedy and she is a podcasting God and her favorite movie is keeping the faith It's Edward Norton and Ben stiller as a rabbi and a priest and boy oh boy. Does that exist? Oh, yeah Keep in the faith. Oh, I thought our favorite movie was Keith Prey Love. Oh boy, let's just do this for the whole episode. Eat Prey Keith.

Let's all, you guys keep talking by some time. Let's think of some more. By some time. Keep, keep your, keep for some time. Oh, that's what you can do is think of movies that my name fits in. Keith the parents. And then hashtag Keith and it real. Yes, the parents keep in it real.

Keith the parents. Is that a meet the parents? Why not? Just to keep the fuckers. Everyone knows that. Keith, bang bang. Oh, Keith, bang bang. I actually love that movie.

Oh, it's pretty good. Dark comedy. Turn over new Keith. Uh, me. Last of the Mo Keefins. No,. Dark comedy. Turn over, New Keefe. Me. Last of the Mokifans. No, last Mokifans. No, no, no. Dammit.

You win, you win. Well, for today's episode, JPC is going to be Old Man Puzzles. Because I won that. Okay, yeah. So we got to do Old Man Puzzles in the Puzzle Dome, and his puzzles puzzles rain supreme. So you are rain are well, so supreme spell like Diana Ross, which is the same. So you all remember how things work when JPC is the Lord of the puzzle dome. You're going to be JP riddles and we're going to hear

another excerpt from swan bumps. Swan lumps. All right, we might we may at some point in today's podcast here and other one of my famous or one of not my. I don't know the man. I have great respect for him and he's. You keep going to the bathroom when he comes in here, JPC. Pretty wide.

I have to jerk off because you stay in the room, but you go to the bathroom. It's the worst. It's a living. But yeah, we may hear from JPC Rittles, a very talented author, and one of his swan loves. But before we really can get into that, we have to do what we all do when we step into the Rittled Dome, which is some old man Rittles warm-ups.

Are you all ready for me to play? Keith and Bernie's. We can get Keith and Bernie's. All right. We can at Kefin's, if the stand-up winner of that round of warm-up riddles, the riddle there was what sucks? Oh, I got it. We can keep Bernie.

We can keep Bernie's. Paddy Tintu, Kefin. The answer to that riddle, what sucks was everything that was just said. Are you guys ready? Here's your first warm up riddle. What has a head, a tail, is brown. It has no leg. It has dog. I really like the Gabriel you shout out at it.

It's a riddle before it's done. You gotta go with the first choice. Don't overthink it. What is a head, a tail tale is brown and has no legs. I know. It's the worst feeling in the world to be in this room when everyone else knows that I don't know, because all I'm thinking about are the people

and their cars right now shouting out the answer. Is it a book? Yes, it's a book. You got it. I don't care. I don't care. You all of us that I don't care. I do care, but I'm embarrassed.

You know when you're like embarrassed, you don't know something and you lash out. No, I'm a white man. Why would I ever know that feeling? In God's country, America, why would I know that feeling? Here, Aaron, okay. I'm God now. Remember that. Oh, no.

I'll give you a hint. Maybe this is wrong. I believe it's the name of Inspector Gadget's daughter. What year do you think I was born? Ha ha ha. You tried to help her and she burned your ass so bad. Honestly, don't know it. He has a daughter? Yeah, Inspector Gadget has a daughter.

Yeah. Ha ha ha. Most things are robotic, but one thing still works. His job. He's sensitive. Yeah. It's a penny. The answer is it's a penny.

Oh, okay. All right. That's also what his daughter's aimed. I feel like we could have, you could have done, there's some other references with penny in it. The reason I was caught up on that, because I was like, I think that's Inspector Gadget's Otter, but then they also, in between Saturday morning cartoons, they used to have that claymation girl

who had pennies for eyes. Do you remember that? That's terrifying. And so I was like, what? Do you remember that? No, this sounds like a nightmare. During Saturday morning cartoons, there was like a claymation girl with pigtails,

and she would talk and like, Will she tell you to kill your family? She was like, it was mostly like, it was mostly like going to your parents bedroom, find their vitals, kill your family. But she had pennies for eyes and I feel like she would just like show up in between, so they do that thing where it's like after these messages

we're out of fact. Why are you closed with your telekis? I have to savor the memory. What was some of the cartoons that you'd watch? What was that with your acting? Darkwing Duck, we're talking Eek the Cat. We're talking, that's about it. Yeah, dark and dark.

This pinnies for eyes thing, that sounds like like food dark saints where you would put like pinnies over the eyes of a person you were gonna like murder. Yeah, it was that Saturday morning cartoon with Willem DeFoe. You know the scary one? I used to watch one Saturday morning Did you watch that we didn't have cable but I got to watch recess. Oh, yeah, I was gonna say recess was on one Saturday morning

I don't know what this is you guys I guess watch Snick at night Fuck you both Snick at night. What a dumbass I Snick at night. What a dumbass. I Swatched Digimon and I love Digimon because the theme song for Digimon was Digimon digital monsters Digimon are the champions If you don't know the theme song don't make one up My favorite part about doing this podcast with you guys is that none of us respect each other that none of us respect each other. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. A soul. What? What do you say? A soul. Shame, guilt, a soul. You carry it everywhere you go, but it doesn't get heavy?

Yeah, so this is interesting, because it told me some specific things about you, Adel and Aaron. Adel, you said a soul, so your soul is not burdened by anything. And Aaron, you said killed. So you killed a person. A person? But it does not get heavy. The past. You carry it everywhere you go, and it does not get heavy. The past. You carry it everywhere you go and it does not get heavy what is it.

Heartbreak. I will say that this... Honestly, it's gotta be those Mac-Wilden Sweeping. Alright, relax. I think... It talks about them all the time. It talks about them all the time. I think... I would like to say this, that you guys are doing a lot of intangible things there. It's not an intangible thing. Oh, yeah. It's usually, that's, okay, in our defense, it's usually an intangible thing. I know, that's usually how riddles work.

It's like, it's always. Oh, is it a fart? Wait, no, let the silence go. Let the silence go another 15 seconds. Talk about silence, but deadly. I did two good fart jokes back to back. Uh, good. No, it's not a fart.

You can carry it everywhere. You can carry it everywhere. You go. I did this podcast in hopes that that sentence would have been said eventually. No, it's not a fart. No, it's not a fart, but close. You can carry it everywhere you go and it does not get heavy. What is it?

A bus card. I'm carried everywhere you go, but it does not get heavy. I'll give you a hint. He's not heavy. Bob Dylan. He's my brother. It's my brother. The wait, the band. Take a little off, Annie. No, that's not heavy. Bob Dylan. He's my brother. It's my brother. The wait, the band.

Take a little off, Annie. No, that's not a good hint. That hint is nothing. Let me try to think of, um. Okay, so you're both, you both would, like if you left here tonight, you'd be carrying it with you. But it's not intangible.

It's not intangible. My hair. What'd you say? Aaron, you've got it absolutely correct. It's my hair. Really? Yeah, it absolutely correct. It's my hair. Really? It's hair. It's JPC's hair.

Wait, it doesn't get any heavier? What if your hair grows? Yeah, you got it. You've got it. You solved it. Honestly, I'm taking this ready to court. I. Oh, are we going into Riddle Court?

Yeah. All right, ladies and gentlemen, you're now joining us at Kevin and Susie's for a special episode of Riddle Court. I'm your judge, Judge JPC. Wait, I gotta announce, I got the guy who goes. Oh. Please stand for Judge JPC. Thank you, Baylifstrup Waffle.

Yeah, Baylifstrup Waffle, thank you, I am standing. And everyone, please take your seats. And I'm the person who types real face My mom is a stenographer That's not easy. No, it's a trust me my mom it easy. You know them say it That's not what I thought last night. What did you do with my mom last night? Your honor is this relevant? You're right. It's not relevant. I chaped it all. Okay, thank you, Victoria Stewart. You're on our all-be-re presenting myself against the riddy that ends with my hair.

Okay, and you're the defendant, and the prosecution. Jesus, catch up. Oh, is that me? Can you be the prosecution I wanna go with? The runner. You're on clearly the prosecution is a southern lawyer who gave up halfway through I'm tired I already see where this bit is

going so I'm gonna please approach the bench okay I didn't want to be this is a beautiful park bit did you just I'm sorry yes how do I write that down? A-B-R-M-M-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R-M-R Farts court. Oh no, we're going to spelling a Farts court. Can't believe this is our last episode. Well, I can't. We had a good run. It was a bad podcast. Let's. Good run, bad podcast. Honestly, that's going to be our final shirt.

OK, let's do it. First and final shirt. First and final shirt. Let's do some of another warm up, Rital. David's father. Actually, this brings me to my favorite segment that we're doing for the first time. Oh, okay. This segment is specifically because JPC is old man puzzles. The

segment is called Snagel Puzz. Oh, I want you to read a puzzle in the voice of Snagel Puzz. And to get into Snagel Puzz, Aaron, can you give me a word that I should say in a boss in accent? I should say in a boss in accent. Keith. Keith. Okay, I think I got it. David's father has three sons, even. Snap, crackle, and pop.

David. David, even. I see it was a bit of a misdirect, wasn't it? In what horrible man is naming their kids snap and crack. So the David's father. The riddle was taking me right, but then it ended up going stage left. Even a shot.

Oh no. My snaggle puts always ends up with a little bit of Dennis Miller, it doesn't a touch. What? Oh brother. If you were named, no, I actually, brother, oh brother, we're out. Keith. Oh, Keith, we're out. Keith. Okay. I want to see a thing. It makes Vladimir Putin look like snaggle to Javaja. Chacha. I would like to see a scene. And you are snap andle and you're going home for Thanksgiving and you're just venting about how David got a normal name and you two got stuck with snap and crackle.

Hey crackle. Hey snap. You know how we're else and we make cereal? Yeah, I know. I feel like sometimes, you know, when I get home from work, when making delicious, popped crisps. I feel like I resent David, you know, because David got a normal name. Can you turn down the radio? I'm talking to you.

I'm sorry, yes. No, yeah. I don't care if train is playing on the radio. What are you wearing it down? What do you want from me, okay? Because David's a lawyer. I want to commiserate. I want to commiserate.

And we make cereal and David has a white mask. Shit. Put the paddle away. The pot of gold. The pot of gold. Put the pot of gold away. Be cool, be cool, be cool. Be cool, be cool.

Put the gun on the gun. Excuse me. Let me roll down the window first, after so what seems to be the problem? Do you know how fast you're going? Too fast. Too few. Too few.

Too fast for y'all. Let's take keeping it real. What? Keeping it real? Have you heard that? Can I see some license and registration, please? Oh, yeah. All right, license and registration are some license and registration please? Oh yeah, I'm a yeah. All right, license and registration

or some license and registration. Yours. Okay, here you go. This is not your name. No it is. This is not a real name. No it is, no it's my real name. You're not named snap.

No I am. No I am. My name's crack old so. You're making this worse. No, no. Step out of the car. That's, oh. Do I smell gold? Do I smell apodicle? No, no, no, no, no, no. I smell gold. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no. Step out of the car. That's, oh, okay. If you stay, you can. Do I smell gold?

Do I smell a pot of gold? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I smell gold. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That's a living! It's a lot. I was gonna say it's a Kepler Elf. Because you know there's beef there. Hey, a Kepler Elf. A Kepler Elf, and you know there's Kev there. Okay. Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Kev. No, Lord of the Kev, Fellowship of the Kev.

Yeah, I thought for some of these we'd be overreaching, but so far so Kev. What is it? So Kev's a part of it. Alright, guys, this is the last of the war my friend. Let me get into some real hard hitting stuff. Wait, we do riddles on this box? Sure we do.

Sometimes we do. And most of the times we do. Do we do puzzies? This will be a puzzie. Okay. What is it that when you take away the hole, you still have some left over. What is it when you take away the hole?

How's hole spelled? It's just a spelled You're blessed. The atmosphere. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey S.O.M.E. What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left. Do you want to hold? A heart. Nope. Nope, Aaron. This rings us back to our segment.

Dead stop. Dead stop. What do you mean? You said when you take the question- I don't want to go to court. What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left and you said a heart? Well, I just feel like even if you fully break my heart,

there's still a part of it that's still going. I don't wanna go to court. I'm tired and my brain is half listening, half trying to think of movies to put my name into. It's a typical Aaron Day. Yeah. I'm thinking about me, thinking about me all the time and it's fun Guess is guess is Keith in a dinner. Oh boy

Did I like that one some like a keep does anyone have a guest? Why the key of the dog Guess is to what this is keep dog what saving private key It's nothing. This game is nothing. What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some leftover? This one?

This one may be hard. Your hand is a word. Oh, good hint. When you take away the whole, you still have some left. Yeah. It's got to be H-O-L-E. Yeah, no, it's W-H-O-L-E milk whole milk you still have 2% left think about it literally when you take away the

hole you still have some left sub Wholesome wholesome Yeah, honestly, I'm taking that riddled of court It's we're busy today Is that the cork time? You know how when you go to court and they're busy for the day? I love the image that's gone to be hey someone ran over my sister. Honestly. Oh, we busy and Court busy court busy. We actually all had a slumber party last night. Good bye sister court busy. Hi court busy. All right, you guys ready for this riddle? Sure. This one I think is really going to be a riddle. I don't need you to preface any of these.

Oh, and we actually have a special guest to read this riddle. No, okay. And that is JP Riddles himself. Hmm. Reading the riddle for one of his famous swan loves books. Let's gather around, let's gather around. Let's gather around the campfire. Well, hello there, children.

Hi JP Riddles. Oh, it's me JP Riddles. You look worse. So they just said, what do you mean? I look worse You look like you've aged 20 years. Yeah, since last time we saw you which was just a couple days ago Well, yeah, well last time it was night and this is the day Have you just been eating all these chef-birdie? Spaghetti no these are the neighborhood kids throw these in my yard

Well, they're empty. I don't even mean they're cold. It's canned. You living out here No, I live in the house. Why would I live in the yard? I can see one of your testicles through your shorts That's the way the shorts were designed I don't think Billabong does a make shorts like that. Well, these are billabong Baga-bales. I don't I can't afford billabong Yeah, well I had to clear off the cans from the yard. Every part of this is explainable.

Why is it on the corner of your mouth? Well, I tripped when I was cleaning it up and I rubbed you know when you rub your finger, your mouth like you got an idea or a secret. Oh yeah. Anyway. You wanted to read the story. Would you like to hear one of my swan lumps or not?

Yes. Why does the town call you the worst man that's ever lived? Okay, well, I lost one vote to have my name replaced with that, and that's what I am. And we have a statue for RL Stein in the middle of town. Why don't we have a statue for you? Oh boy, well, you know, JP Riddle's had a statue put up, but I guess it was a

deemed to be pornography by the judicial board and I lost a court case. And so now the statue's here in my yard. And as you can see, it's covered in Chef Boyardy cans because some of the naughty parts, can I read my Swan Lumber now? Yes, please! Why would you scope one testicle coming out of the shorts? Swan lumps! That's one of my swan lumps. Alright! Okay, this is a riddle from the Cocoa Birds Conundrum. Swan lumps, well for them.

That JK Rowling book? Shut up! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, JP Riddles didn't mean to yell. This is a riddle from the Cocoa Birds Conentrums. Why lumps one of JP riddles JK Rowling are you related to JK Rowling? What's the riddle? They have not flesh nor feathers nor scales nor bone Yeah, they have fingers in thumbs of their own dog is dog what oh, yeah, it's dogs. Is it you?

Wait, I got I got flesh and bones Bonal night Fine I'm full of chef boy on me. I'm living in my yard. I'm good Oh, brother, can you repeat I can put all night into this paper corner? All right, here's a riddle one more time is from the Kuku birds. Good that drums one lumps 104 or nine. It's for both. I repeated a book They have not flesh nor feathers nor scales nor bone If they have fingers and thumbs of their own, what are they? Gloves.

Yeah, well the gloves. Yeah, you got this. So worth it. Happy smart guy. The journey could have been shorter. What's your name, smart guy? My name is Michael. Michael.

What's your last name, Michael? Michaelson. Michael, Michaelson. I have little swan lips for you. You ready for it? Oh, it's not over Yeah, there's not a way why are you just raising the back of your hands? Here's one for you little buddy There was what's a annoying shit bird brat Who lived in a small town with an angry pervert and this perfect admin kicked out of his house by a wife who hates him

And so he said his yard with his pornography statue and he's eating Chef Boyard D off the ground. Sounds like you, Michael. And it's not Chef Boyard D. He bought in a store mind you at Chef Boyard D that neighborhood boys and girls have thrown at him. What he's making, he's making the best out of the bad situation, he's getting a little meal.

And sure he's cutting his figure so pretty bad on those cans, but makes the thing his bloody and, oh the blood hides the pain. Anyway, this dumb shit bird little kid comes in and runs his mouth off because he thinks he knows the answer to the riddle and guess what he does is the smartest boy in town but I'll tell you something this little kid does it though I'm gonna stab you in the heart give you hepatitis. Is it gloves? Can you gloves? Actually can I hear it again? Oh boy. All right, good night everybody.

It's a living. It's 3 a.m. Wow, thanks JP Riddles. I always love it when he stops by and does one of his- JPC were just in the bathroom. He missed it. Oh man. JP Riddles was here.

I was just in the corner peeing on myself, you mean? It took forever. Well, you know what? I'm P-Shi. Yeah. There's people a lot of screaming. Okay, you guys ready? Here's another riddle.

This one is good. I would say this one is going to be so frickin hard, but I don't know the answer to it, so. That's fine, because I've been having a lot of fun in this episode, so I'm ready to get serious. What is black when you buy it? Red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away. Coffee.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I don't think that that's the answer. What is black when you buy it? Red when you use it in gray when you throw it away? Yes. Black to buy red to use gray to throw away. Ink. Ink, okay.

Well you buy black ink, but when you use black ink, it writes as blood. A lobster. Mm, maybe. No, that's right. That's right. That's right. That sounds right.

Is poop gray? Let me ask you guys a question. Hey, real quick. Let me ask you a question. What's going on? It's women and doctors. It's poop. Poo-poo can't be.

It shouldn't be. That right. You would, if you saw some poop, you wouldn't say that's right. Honestly, call, call your doctor. Call your doctor. Ask them if poop's great. Oh, I thought you were doing call your doctor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My poop is so great. Um, black when you buy it, red when you use it, Black when you buy it.

Red when you use it. Gray when you throw it away. No country for old Keith. A horse. What do you buy that's black? Tar. Tar, of course. Black tar heroin.

Black tar heroin. You shoot it up in your veins and it's red. You heat it up and it turns red. I have a question about the wording. Black when you buy it, red when you use it. Red Christmas. I think it's heroin. You heated up and it turned red. I have a question about the wording. Black when you buy it, red when you use it. Red Christmas. I think it's heroin. So black tar heroin, when you shoot it up, you have to like put mix it with your blood

before you shoot it back into your arm. Oh, I know it is. I figured it out. If you figured it out, can you give us a hint? The hint is this is something that you would probably buy in the summer. Bust our heroin. Yep. This is something you'd buy in the summer.

Mm-hmm. A pool. A sunburn. It's a pool. You buy a black pool. You fill up with red water that everyone's like, this pool is gray. Sun goes. Well, it's not a pool.

It's a whole sun. Black hole sun. Once you come, take away the pain. God damn it. Black when you buy it, red when you use it. You're going to buy it in the summer. You're going to use it. When you use it, you can only use it for maybe like an hour

and then it's done. And you can never use it again. I think I know what it is. Yes, I know what it is. Yes, I know what it is. I think I'm, gang, I never caffeinate properly for this podcast at a Marillie's R.E. You feel fully caffeinated? It just feels like you're thinking of movies

to substitute the word keyf into. Because you've taken a whole sheet of notebook paper and doodle your way. I don't know what you mean, there will be keyf. There'll be blood. There'll be keyfiffl. This one just says key Keith, we blood. They're Keith, he's like, this one just says Keith, and I think you were going for Hitch.

Oh, this one just says Keith, I think you're going for jobs. I just had a conversation with people that we want to do a lady remake of Hitch. We're trying to do a perfect casting of that. Just still Hitch. Hitch. Or would you call it like,

Mitch? Mitch. After your brother-in-law? Yeah, another rhyming. What were we talking about? So we were talking about the real. Oh, the summer. I don't know.

It's charcoal. It's charcoal. I think let's check the answer. It's charcoal. That makes sense. Black when you buy it, you burn it when it's red and then it's gray when you throw that little crap away. That's a good one.

Yeah, pretty good. It's like everything makes sense. You didn't add any like, you know what I mean. Yeah JPC is at the before that we go crazy when there's too much Information that's not important to the riddle and then wait. Did you do you have a conversation without me? Yeah, like when we were having lunch the other day and you're an Aaron Aaron Aaron and JPC you said we go crazy We were hanging out on your birth day Aaron Aaron Aaron keep telling the story when we told you that you Honestly, I'm taking JPC to court.

If, if, they're not busy. No boys allowed. You came to me to court. That sucks that they did it. Court's a girls court. Yeah, it's a, it's a total girls court. Ooh, I would watch girls court. What if you made a remake of Night Court

with all women and it was called Girls Court? It was called Hitch. The bitch court. I would watch that. Now that I'm hearing it, I would watch it. I'd write that. I would definitely watch a show called Bitch Court. It's just a bunch of women who are really good at their jobs. I think Bitch Court would send us all back a little bit.

Hey, GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything for products that cut into time,

all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank JPC, and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening?

Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website for Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yes, with Gens. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Ad think about something like that? They're never truly a middle of the place. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it.

Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, sorry that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. And better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods,

isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L-I-D-D-C, hoping at home. Bye, baby! Am home! Who are we? What is this? I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's

birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially

around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clean, clean, clean. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, clean, clean, clean. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. rocket money.com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you, I got money, but I'd watch it. You guys ready for this one? I pass before the sun yet make no shadow moon. What am I dog? I pass before the sun. That makes a shadow the father who's a little walking on the family This is son's X. Oh, it's S. You in I passed before the sun. Oh, that would be funny a father who passes before his son

That's we hope that that happens right. Yeah, as long as he has a tape recorder and So read it one more time I passed before the sun yet make no shadow. What am I? Sonic the Hedgehog. Jupiter. Yeah, make no shadow. I passed before the sun. Is this looking at clips thing?

It's the Earth. Because it passes before the sun. We don't see a shadow. Here's a quick quiz. What are all the planets starting from the one closest to the sun? We we don't see a shadow. Here's a quick quiz. What are all the planets starting from the one closest to the sun? We got John Lithgow. We got the Jordan, Joseph Gordon, love it.

We have the... The whole squinty eyes of the sun. Fridge Stewart. Fridge Stewart. I always want to call him Jimmy Fallon. We have a Christy... What's her name? Yeah, I'm a Gucci.

Pickups. Ali. Here's what we got. Aaron, you think you're gonna stunt me? You're not. We got Mercury. We got Venus. We got Earth, which is the third rock from the Sun.

We got Mars. Which is where oddly, it's fun because that's where they also made you the TV show. It was the third rock from the Sun. We got Mars. Which is where oddly, it's fun because that's where they also made the TV show, which is third rock from the Sun. Mars? Yeah. We got Tatooine. We have. Did it kiss?

Did it kiss? Mean one. We have Drew Hill. We have Did they Lee Planet? Cisco, Cisco, we're trying to the drag it. anus. We have Uranus song song. We skip Pluto. Yeah, we don't do that Here's a chunk of ice. We go straight. So it's what are we we're skipping it. We go straight to play it Pluto is goofy's dog, right? Mm-hmm and goofy is a dog. Oh, this old hack bit

What what goofy talk But his dog no talk? This is from JPC's standup. I passed before the sun yet make no shadow. I am. I the night. Oh, it passes. It passes. I guess before the sun. I mean, the earth I think is a good guess. The night, I guess people know I passed before a good guess the night I guess People know I passed before the sun honestly. It's a fart. Oh Yeah, I'm gonna start so there's no more full stops that happen at me the moment I know I've said something wrong. I'm gonna yell no no more full stops, but there will be dead stops Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know the answer to this I pass before this is the earth

right That's the most I did I don't know the answer to this I pass before this is the earth right Okay, I looked at the answer I look at the answer Addle yeah, you are closest But not with the earth You have you had a guest that was closer What what else would I say if This is why it pays to listen a dog a dog It's not a dog I I passed before the sun.

John Lutkow. John Lutkow. John Lutkow. No, it's not. That's not the right vein. It's not a planet. Break it to us easy. Is it John Lutkow?

No, it's not. I got to know. I can't be. Matt about Keith. You ready for it? Keith and a fire. Racing are key. You ready for this answer?

Yeah. It's the wind. Hmm. or key. You ready for this answer? Yeah. It's the wind. Hmm. Okay. Wind doesn't leave a shadow. Also, you are closest with fart. Because fart is kind of like the wind from your butt. Wind leaves a shadow.

I'm having fun. I've seen. You've seen wind leaves a shadow. Quick check in. Quick check in. On a scale of 1 to ten. How much fun? We have an Aaron a lot of fun JPC I also am here

Say it to Can you please okay? So here's a role play for that that was a very ambiguous, but it took it gave you guys a little bit of trouble You are two Wind scientists cool. You're living on a... I'm going to say these words. I'm going to need the actual name for a wind scientist. Wind scientist. Okay. You're living on a wind platform in the ocean and you're studying the wind. But... Shakes out. starting the wind. But. Shex up.

You guys are trying to decide if wind has a shadow. You're trying to settle it definitively once and for all. We see that scene. Kevin, I know we both have our doctorate in wind. Yeah, yeah, Simon. Because I'm saying, is that wind leaves a shadow when there's leaves in the wind? Oh, but isn't that still wind, Suzy? Just because it picks up a kuturimon carries it across the plane or the water whatever it might be.

Isn't that part of the wind? I hate you. I hate you. Right now you have... Let me ask you something. Let me pose you a little question here. Why are you posing? Will you ask me a question? Because I... Ridiculous. I was on the cover of Ecological Wind magazine.

You look like a common fool that I've been stuck in this wind platform with you. Let me ask you something Susie. Right now you have about 10 pounds of quesadilla in your tummy, don't you? But you're still a human, right? If you walk around, I don't say, I don't try and separate you from that quesadilla, you wouldn't fucking hog wild on it that buffet Do I? Just like leaves and a wind those leaves like the case of years in your tummy

Where did we go wrong take me back? Listen Susie we're both 40 no, I'm going to the other side. We're both 40. What are we doing? I'm walking to the other side of this wind platform. That's in the middle of the ocean a place where we both work We both walking to the other side of this wind platform that's in the middle of the ocean a place where we both work and both wind Can I tell you when I first fell in love with you pal let it go Kevin can you leave it alone? Hey look the lady said she's gonna walk away Look at this look at this magazine. Who do you see on the front?

That's Yes, think of something. Don't look at the magazine. Showing him the back of it. That's JP Riddle's is on the back of that magazine. You read Swan Lumps. My man. Show me the front of the magazine. I'll have a thing real quick. Here we go. Okay, that's uh, was not expecting that. I had something a little different by that's a different picture than I was expecting. boy, let's see that. Oh the wind took it. Clive-o!

Was it Clive-o? It was Clive-o, have you seen that movie? What's it called? Children of Keeps? Children of Keep! Oh I love that movie! Kids of Men! Kids of Men!

Children of Keep Men! Do you two listen to Hey Rital Little? Oh brother. That podcast where those three insane people killed each other late at night? Wasn't that, wasn't that a lot of fun? It was, well it lasted. Oh boy. Anyway, I'm going to go back to shuffling the wind.

Wait Kevin, a question for a fellow wind scientist. In Super Mario Bros. 3, when Mario uses the warp whistle, a gust of wind seems to envelop him and carry him to another level, usually late in the game. How does that work? You know I don't like you, right? Yeah, but I figured if you know... Where did you two go wrong? Tell him about when you were in love with him.

Seen. You feel seen? I feel, yes. I feel seen. Click. And I feel, yes. I feel seen. And I feel heard too. Actually, these riddles are not making me mad today. Oh, well, Aaron, if I tried to accomplish something,

it was to do riddles that would make you mad. So this is a real bummer for me. Okay, I like this one. Cool. Uh, before you start, that brings us to another segment. Oh, this one is called all the riddles in the world. And this is where JPC reads the riddle in the voice of Alan Alda. That's a really good name for this segment. And I, there's no fucking chance that I could read a riddle as Alan Alda.

It's Alan Alda doing his Naglefish impression. Charlie from Lost. Charlie from Lost. Charlie from Lost. Hold on, hold on. I'm gonna get a little bit more of an Ellen Alda. This is as best as I can do. Of course, this is our podcast where we audition for SNL.

Oh no. Yeah, Ellen Alda's a real hot impression. And then pit me into the voices I do. Ha ha ha. A horny dog. the voices I do. Ha ha ha. A horny dog. What do you do? You do nothing. Mr. Alda, could you come here and read this riddle?

I'd be my absolute pleasure to do so. There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it? And now he's leaving and he won't be answering any questions. I have it. I have it. I think I've got it.

There's an ancient invention that allows people to see through walls. Still used in some parts of the world today. X-ray machine. Mm-hmm. Oh, there's a step dancing around the room. Where'd you get all those scars? That's sort of my thing. Sweat trip down my balls.

Are you using my balls? No, swan lumps. My lovely swan lumps. Check it out. You can see through walls. So it's not window. Radar. Which is another masher character.

Is the answer not window? It is window. Oh. I do like use it. It's not window. So it's not because I said to them, hmm hmm. Is that really the answer? The answer's window, yeah. Does it appear that I got that? Did I get it?

You did. Here's got it. Here's what I want to see. She got it. She got Keith. Welcome back to Bitch Court. We're great at our jobs, we make no apologies. I get that we're not the ones to make that podcast,

but someone please, bitch. Someone make that, yeah. I just want a bunch of badass female lawyers. Here's what I wanna see. I wanna see a scene between the two of you, JPC, you'll be playing Professor Charles Xavier, leader of the X-Men. Gotcha.

Aaron, I want you to be a new mutant who's coming to the school and you're going to let over the course of the scene, you're going to let Professor Xavier know that your power is that you can see through walls, but it turns out that that just means that you can you're tall enough to look through a window. And we take you to the what is that called the X mansion. Yeah, it's called mansion X. We take it. It's called Charles Xavier's School for the Gifteders, whatever. Keif or whatever X key. You'll find that we have a very nice school here. Lots of people who also have extraordinary abilities that you can befriend and teach each other lessons.

Oh, I should shield my eyes. Sorry, I, we shouldn't walk by this building. I can sort of see through walls. You don't have to shield your gifts here at Charles Xavier's school for the criminally gifted or whatever you can let your freak flag fly I like nipple play what I must have misheard you just now did you say something? No, I said I like nipple play. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Oh, no, I can see through the wall over there Do you oh you don't even want to know what all of them want to me?

You must have seen me on the other side of the wall. Oh, this is water boy My name is water I get the water Mama say get the water I can also charge playing cards and throw the playing cards It's a fun little game. I play that water boy. You give the hand but back his cards little game I play. That water boy you give the piano back his cards. Oh, here's charge of giving the water and helping the mud dogs win the bourbon ball. How could he see me? How could he see... could he see the walls to... What do you look at, Bob?

Can all these... is everyone's power seeing through walls? No, no, just uh, that's... Only certain people's powers, but uh, we're outside. And it looks like we have a new friend who's auditioning for S&L Who's coming up to us, and what's your name, friend? My name is Wolverine. Oh, yes, Bob. Snick, snick.

Snick at night. Do you have a more snick at night? Ah, I do, and... Too young. Well, we'll see you later, snick. Snick at night. Do you ever watch Snick at night? Ah, I do. Too young. Well, we'll see you later, boy. Well, I had some, uh, I had some... You got to get like five impressions. I wanted to do...

Not a five, but I had some impressions. So Wolverine's gonna do some impressions. Are you looking for a weekend update writers? Or what's... What are you looking for? Because that would help me. Ah, speaking of people who need to shield their eyes, I would like you to introduce you to our friend Cyclops.

Hello? I have one eye in the middle of my head. I'm a mythical creature. But I love Jean Grey. Oh, these are windows. The wrapper. Seed! And snake.

And snake. As a kid, I always thought it was like a shink Oh his in the comic book. I thought it was shink, but it's Nick right? I learned it was Nick from You thought those ends were ages Well, I just read it as like shink like I thought it was that sound, but Yeah, you thought those ends were ages's I don't want to answer that question But I learned it was Nick from the guys on Hollywood handbook from oh Shana has I think it was Hayes was cuz he said he wanted to help do something on the long night podcast the Wolverine

Bugger's long night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I was I jokingly was like yeah You could have been the the shink sound and he goes yeah the snick and I go what and he goes it's thick So he is very kind about it. Wow, that's what he did correct me. He did correct me. Yeah Do we do we have enough we have time for 15 more 15 more? Okay, hold on. I think that I think I have one that I want to do. Oh, what were the other ones? Jesus Christ talking to you. No respect for each other, but there's What's there? Love yeah, I'd say love hatred. I'd say

Latred Okay, so I like this one. I am taken from a mine a Liam Neeson. Yep. It's Liam Neeson Liam Neeson was the one who's classically taken to those movies You the fucking stupidest person I've ever met Let's again about how much fun we're having Aaron. Let me take that again All right, I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case from which I am never released. And yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I?

Gas. Natural gas. Natural. Can you read it again? I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case from which I am never released. Oh, wouldn't care. And yet I am used by almost everybody. I always want to think when there's a wooden case that it's a coffin. Yeah

What does that say about you And you're fucking defeat us attitude I'm taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case from which I'm never released and yet I'm used by almost everybody Secrets Do you know the answer to this I don't know the answer to this one. Taken from a mine? Oh, from a mine. So it'd be like a rope or the wind. Like a box, yeah. Or a box. Taken from a mine. Put up in a wooden crate. Not seen ever again, but I'm used

by everybody. Boo. What do you think when listeners know the answer and they hear us struggling? What do you think they do? Oh, people have tweeted that they just scream the answer over and over, which honestly helps. Yeah, we can hear it. I can hear it sometimes.

I can pick it up in my headphones. Listen, I watched you up pretty all the time. And when I know the answer, those people are dumb as fuck. Yes. When I don't, it's a hard question. Here's the thing though, I know I'm stupid because I've been me forever. So I understand that this is like a dumb guy.

It doesn't hurt me that I don't know the answer to these riddles. Have either of you ever been in jeopardy? No, Patrick Connolly has. Yeah, great. So you know a person who I was. One of my best friends from growing up was, and he was winning, and then until final jeopardy,

he was too close to the sun and bet too much. And the answer to that question was Icarus. Yeah, that's so much iron. So what do you take out of mine? You take coal? You take dead canaries? You take... isn't natural gas in mines? Like don't you drove on for natural gas? Wooden box sounds important. Wooden box, but I'm used by everyone. Would it just be cold? I mean, because you don't see cold, but it's burned everywhere efficiently. I bet it's just cold.

What's the wooden box about? Air. Oh, it's air, air, and oh my God, you got it. It's air. Did you know that 99% of earth's air is from a mine? You must hear is in the core of the earth and it comes up Apple's of course Am I helping

I have nipples fucker. Can you know me? I have nipples fucker. Can you know me? That's that's your second impression Lauren. Are you impressed? I say that all the time just in my life I love that line. You also say you do the math. I'll do the what do you say? You do the math I'm doing the Alfredo. It's from our classic olive garden commercial I have a hat that says you do the math and a t-shirt that says, I'm doing the Elf-Rado. You got those made for you? I got those specifically made for you. I love that. I like to wear them when they're not part of the same piece.

That's also the same hat that Tally a shy or wore in the set of the Godfather. I'm doing the Elf-Rado. Hey man, we're all fucking young. The Keith father. God Keith. There you go. What women, Keith?

The Godfather part, Keith. What women, Keith keep I like that what Keith want what keep one a nap all the time anyways ready for the answer to this yeah a pencil Oh Read that again. It's not a box a pencil read the read it so I can get angry I am taken from a mine and shut up in a wooden case from which I am never released. And yet I am used by almost everybody. Why did I think there's something about not seeing it ever?

I guess I did that to myself. I hate it when I hear like a thing in the riddle that didn't actually exist and I'm like, oh why was that? That's like what riddles you get stuck on the small detail or something. I always get stuck on a coffin. It's like your brain will fill in, you know when you're reading something and there's a mistake,

sometimes your brain doesn't realize there's a mistake. Oh yeah, like that sign at Jimmy John's that explains that. Yeah. One person online will know what I'm talking about. Let's do a listener submitted riddle. You can always send those to us at hrrpodcast at gmail.com. You can also follow us on Twitter at HeyRiddleRiddle or on Instagram at HeyRiddle or look up the Facebook group. Hey, and while you're like,

Connect with us. Doing all that bullshit online, you can just go to iTunes and a red to review of the podcast and say how good we are at Riddles. But JPC would like it if you specifically gave him a shout out. I would love a shout out. Shout out to JPC, but use the hashtag specifically gave him a shout out. I would love a shout out shout out to JPC But use the hashtag key for the real also JP so horny. Find us on the streets We're in Chicago run up to us on the streets someone did find me on the street the other day details I was in a movie theater, but yeah, that's not the streets. Oh, what they say

They said we're trying to watch a movie and I was like, yeah, you're a fan of the podcast I get it. I'm trying to watch a movie. And I was like, yeah, you're a fan of the podcast. I get it. I'm trying to live a normal life. And they're like, hey, asshole. I'm here with my estranged daughter. And you're like, no, asshole is the other host. That's a horrified.

This one, oh boy, this one is from Brady Habbick. And this is gonna be a doozy. Brady here, this riddle is more for your guests since the answer is in the riddle itself Wait, just Brady think that we have guests and yes You're sitting around my table right now. I keep breaking all this bread and then throw it outside Here's the riddle There are 30 cows in a field 28 chickens. How many didn't? I think you

got something wrong here. I printed this out verbatim. I could be stupid. I'm very much out, but I think he, I think there's a typo or something. So Brady wrote word for word, the riddle is, there are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't? How do we turn these people doing this nice thing for us to write these things in and us just burning them terribly?

Oh, Brady, Brady, Brady, Brady, baby, baby, Brady. How many cows and how many chickens? There are 30 cows in a field. 28 chickens. How many didn't? Oh, no, no, I understand. Yeah, it's a, there are 30 cows, 28 ATE chickens. How many didn't?

10 cows didn't. 10 cows didn't eat chickens. You're correct. Oh, JPC, you're the mayor. Do you know that you're the mayor now? Well, old man, Reynolds happens to be the mayor of these parts. Why is JPC pissing them level in the corner? I was trying to make them the mayor.

Pissing myself is the only emotion that I know how to do. So there's 30 cows in a field and then 28 chickens. You're never going to get it. 28 is 30 is 10. How did you get to 10? What? How'd you get 10 cows? There are 30 cows in a field and 20 of the cows,

eight ATE chickens. How many didn't? JPC is right. The Brady was smart the whole time. There's no type of Brady smart the whole time. Oh okay. Well he wrote it out, ATE. Yeah, wait, what?

Then he wrote, there are 30 cows in a field, 20 ATE chickens. How many did that? That's why you said you read it out loud. I see. And then it says the answer is 10 cows, Donate chickens. He also didn't put any functuation.

So this is how the answer reads exactly. The answer is 10 cows, don't eat chickens. You know, Anna, nothing that you can say will convince me that Brady's not smarter than all of us. Well done, Brady, that's a good one. Yeah, Brady, you're the real hero. I like the ones that, that, uh, Brady, you've made a cuckold out of me and an ass in a full.

Okay, it's a cow. It's a cow. It's just, it made a cuckold out of you, right? That's something I personally, I'm sorry, a cuckold because chickens don't cut hold don't hold cucks. I'm sorry Well done. That's good. It's interesting very good. I'm fucking Boy welcome back to cut court That's our podcast guilty All right, um, you know what I I gotta say this right now, guys.

I gotta say this right off the bat. I want to plug some stuff. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat.

Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat.

Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. So to get this. I know usually on the show I plug a lot of the things that I'm doing and I have going on. You can find all that on my Twitter at JP So Fly, but what I really wanna plug is the good place season two on Netflix.

I just, I have been waiting for so long because it was off Hulu and I just started rewatching it. I'm like eight episodes in. Oh my God, can't wait for season three. The good place, very funny show. I was watching that right before I got here. Well, I was too. We're there in Ted Danson.

You guys were together because you're talking about me. Yes. Here's the other thing is I just started watching cheers recently and I'm working my way through cheers in three seasons in. So I'm just doing a lot of Ted Danson in my life. He's great. He's so fucking great. I never watched cheers.

If you watched cheers, when it was still on, it would be 35 again. I watched cheers a few years ago And honestly, I don't think it ages well, and I didn't enjoy it. Oh, it's Some of it is so troubling. There's a lot of like laugh lines where like Ted Danson's like Diane I'm gonna put you in the back of a car and drive you off a fucking cliff and people are like yeah I'm like he just threatened to murder that woman. Is that where Eminem got stanza? It's also insanely homophobic.

Oh, oh really? Yeah. My dad was telling me that. And racist too. Like there's like an episode with a black person in the bar and everyone's worried and yeah, it just leaves us. Like I haven't watched a ton of it, but I know that there's a white guy who comes into the bar.

Norm. And they all scream norm and it's like because he's a white male. It's the norm. It's the norm. Yeah. I think his name is Kyle. I think so. I think he's a white male. It's the norm. It's the norm. Yeah. I think his name is Kyle. I think so.

I think his name is Kevin. But he's the norm. George Wint still has not paid for a drink to this day. That's true. Well, that sounds like he's in trouble. My dad said that he loves the show, but he never saw the pilot because it came out the week of my parents' honeymoon. He didn't see the pilot until cheers on that.

Oh, and the pilot was the one driving the plane. Flying the plane. You can follow me at Adler or Fy on Twitter. And something I want to plug is on a Netflix delightful special called Somebody Please Feed Fill. Is this real? Mm-hmm. It's a game filled.

It's a guy created everybody loves Raymond. a guy created, uh, everybody loves Raymond. I think it's like Phil Rosenfall. Debra! That's the guy, uh, it's, Fred Garrett's real name. Yeah. Uh, and he just travels the world and eats good food. And it's a really delightful show. I was just trying to take a cue from you.

I didn't know that it was a really fun show. Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll give it a shot. Last time I do that. Yeah, well, you lived your fucking lesson. Aaron? Uh, follow me on Instagram at AaronKeef, K-E-I-F-10, to plug on Netflix. Yeah, you got to, what are you watching on Netflix?

You know what recently I was hanging out with a three-year-old girl a bunch and we watched a lot of Sophia the first. And that's a great concept for a TV show. What's the concept? Well, it's about a girl who is doing all right, but then she became a princess over the night. I'm singing the theme song.

But she has a magic amulet. And whenever she's in trouble, it glows. And then one of the Disney princesses shows up and sings a song with her and tells her to be brave or smart or kind. And Aaron, if you could travel anywhere in the world, but at the stroke of midnight, you turn back into a pumpkin, Where would you go?

Jupiter. Have a great night, everybody. Hey, wait a second. That's not JPC. That's a crab. That's a crab. That's a crab. Come here, grab.

This whole time, JPC's at this hard external shell. That's a crab. That's been said about me before. That's our last grab that's been said about me before That's our last episode Hey, whose neither did he edit it. I already heard it in the middle of the head. Vocal created by M.O.B. to our gamers and M.O.N. to porous. My feet before hate, risk, or break, young.

That was a hate gun podcast. That was a head-bomb podcast.