Hey Riddle Riddle - #100: A Hundred Episodes, A Dozen Laughs!

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

Well well well! Looks like these 3 idiots made it to 100 episodes!! We're in the mood to celebrate so we have all kinds of treats lined up, including a special family reunion and even some previous guests chiming in to wish us happy 100! Use the hashtag #100RiddleMemories on social media to let us know your favorite moments of the past 100 episodes or just to say hi! Thank you all for your support and for spreading the word! We look forward to 100 more! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And his clothes crammed Casey Totally, let's go Now I know that in my other themes I give these jerks a ton of shit Cause holding in your friends is just a classic fucking bit But this time I'ma try a different thing Since I have a chance Casey, let's hit him With a couple of men at Apple Latch He's super kind, he's super nice, gives good advice A mighty brain that he loves to flex Just go up and move it in mainless light

Casey, I'm not certain that you get what we're doing It's a compliment to add up the Jeff funds to give it to you Sure, but it's weird, okay move on to JPC All right You brilliant and hilarious, I mean that I run it clean, the funniest man in the freaking room It's honestly so tragic that you dropped my recruit Hey, Casey, mid, you don't bring that up now

It's actually a compliment Explain how? No, you already know that I think you're the best. Turn once the kids are cloned. Casey, you're a fucking mess. I'm out. I may be true, but while I'm out of tune, let me sing a thing.

Ony, pretty please, let me sing a thing. Here I go, I'm singing it one, two, three, four, Hey, we're doing it, duh. No shit, all Sherlock. It's hey riddle I I don't like it, huh? Yeah, I don't like art leading okay Okay, we have so many inside jokes from the show just can you like pick another one maybe right? That's it did stop now. That's a dead stop. Now that's more of like Aaron's thing.

So I don't know if you're saying it. Kevin's in Suzy's in Riddies and Puzzles. Well, that's like episode three. I think we move away from that. Pop a horny for Puzzies or bingo bingo. Hat that Takanudog Maria CVS. That's like a bunch of Aaron and I's bits. Maybe you want to be a sort of like a me and JPC thing.

Maybe you like one of yours. Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, old man puzzles. Okay, I guess so. Spooky sleepy witch with kid riddles and kid riddy. And I dab on my haters gray fortnight, Keef and it real. What is it, early 2019? Get the hell out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, I got it. Some of our t-shirts. Here we go, restarting, restarting episode 100. Here we go. Fresh slate, baby, baby, crab, brown, goon, or Dr. Funny Comedy, Santa, yeah, no, no, I got some of our t-shirts. Here we go, restarting, restarting episode 100. Here we go. Fresh slate, baby, baby, crab, rangoon, or Dr. Funny Comedy, Santa, baby. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, Snick. No, okay, yeah, you're right. Reading is important, wishbones in heaven. Oh, I like that. Wishbone went to hell. Shut up, you see. Shut up, you see. What about Wizzy and Post-Potatoes and him's a ghost?

Alan Alda? My wife. Some of those are just awesome stuff I saidns of ghost Alan Alda my wife some of those are just awesome stuff I said yeah I do like my wife has that been used before is that I don't think we said that before I'm so yeah master ship that sucks that rules you live in Seattle oh I like that that was a good moment tell me something bar I'll have the cum sandwich. Zatarans. Zatarans. That's my Tuesday, bitch. Okay, okay.

Fuck putting, put your limp dick in it. Full, full anal penetration. Oh, gold globe. Gold globe is back. Or also, I'm insane in these are my puppets. My name is Toronto. My name is Toronto and I hear a pronto. That's a real.

That's a real. That's right. That's right. Shrekby Daddy. We're here to go to Big Chiefs and Capricated. We love this week's Chef on the show. Great. We have an ebrated, zebra-rated, does that make sense? What's the big idea? What's another way of saying that? Yeah, that's one of the best episodes probably of this thing. I was created to solve puzzles and feel pain and I'm all out of puzzles

Women's hummus welcome to noon. Welcome to noon. I like that one. Three mommies make Gonzaloid. This is an upbeat ballad That's not the show that's not the show another show and Twins pop. I'm the day in the Vita one. Poppula one. I'm the Danny DeVito one. No, I'm the Danny DeVito one. Okay, I have Nipples Focker. Can you milk me? It's actually this. He says Greg. He never says Focker. Yeah, that's not the exact right quote.

Okay, right, right, right. In space, no one can hear you jam. Uh, this guy's got me scared to death. We had that episode with Cheryl Locke Holmes, Dr. Watson and Minecraft. That was pretty fun. That's a deep hole really Chuckie cheese more like fuck me please Sticking pizza better be Papa John. That's right. I do rip it that that was a good one How far up the egg do the pants go booty butts? NASA stands for no airplane space.

All right. You're saving the best for last. It's a living or finally, it's mommy's little fuck order. I like this. Aaron, what if I throw one by you? What about this one Aaron? Tell me how this hits you.

No shit, all Sherlock, it's a riddle riddle. That feels just better in front of your ears. I like that. Does that feel new and fun? I like that. I don't know what do you think. I want to hate it, but it's, honestly, it's pretty good, Jave. So let's stick with that.

Okay, cool. And who are you? I'm Chiboy, Adderify. I'm JPC. And I'm the lady, Aaron Keefe. And this is our 100th episode. Our 100th episode. 100th episode. 100th episode. 100th stop episode.

And we'll edit confetti in here. I don't know what confetti sounds. Casey, what does confetti sound like? He'll figure it out. Spitties. It's a lot of coughing. Y'all, we did it. Y'all, it's like a mass allergy outbreak.

We have a handy Eppies. Wow, a hundred. that would be so expensive A hundred episodes one dozen laughs. That should be the tagline a hundred episodes a dozen laughs I like that. It's not one laugh in sight A hundred episodes. Wow, that's eight. You know what? It's quite an accomplishment It's it we have sat in front of these mics. It's let's see for a hundred episodes each recording is about an hour for about four hours Like 40 years

I want to thank you guys for both sending me like a really thoughtful and meaningful hundred episode gift in the mail That's really really sweet of you guys. Thank you so much for sending me. Wait, wait a minute. You didn't send me shit really sweet of you guys. Thank you so much for sending me. Wait, wait a minute, you didn't send me shit. I said, Aaron, dead rat. You started this episode asking if anyone would postmates Dunkin' Donuts to your house. She literally did. And I said, I said, oh, is your phone not working?

And she goes, no, I could get it or Sean could get it. But I don't want to. I wanted to see it, they liked me. It was a test and they'd know one sent me Dunkin' Don don't it. Eric you keep doing these tests we don't like you. Don't do it. Okay okay if I were to get you guys a hundred episode gift. Did you see I wish I had gotten you like an ant farm. Oh because I because my favorite band is Alien Ant Farm.

And my favorite song is Movies. And I can't go to the movies anymore. Exactly. Great. And Adel, I would get you a new life. Oh, because my favorite band is Alien Ant Farm. And I can't go to the movies anymore. Exactly.

You guys, 100% of us. We should have made each other fun, like custom 100th episode t-shirts for each one of us. That's what we should have done. We need hoodies. We need like personalized hoodies. Yeah, I don't know where we should fuck it. Can I have one that says I'm with stupid? I want I'm with stupid.

And it's pointing to your asshole You should do it you should have one that says I'm with stupid and it's just a map of Chicago with Adles Department Pinned Your exact addresses I would stupid GPC you could have a sweatshirt that says I made a hundred episodes of a podcast and all I got to do is kiss my cousin. Do they make sleeveless sweatshirts? I don't even know what those are called, best my man. Oh.

And then Adela sweatshirt could say, I asked the two wrong people. But you could go back in time. Who would you ask to do this podcast with? I do it solo, baby. Mm-hmm. Aaron, I feel like you've asked that question to add all of the episode, maybe 10 times.

And sometimes I call him drunk and ask him, but who would you rather have, baby? Mm-hmm. Can you post me, it's me, Duncan Doodhuts. I thought you just sleep. Who would you have? Are they prettier than me? Mm-hmm.

I want to fix my butt We're about eight minutes in and we should say if this is your first time listening Welcome to repilot after this. What is our? Yes, so Aaron brings up a good point which is we're a hundred episodes in and there are a Like fossil fuels. There are a finite. I don't know if people know this. Riddles are made when dinosaur bones meet pressure. When they're pressurized, they turn into this sort of black tube. And then over time, they solidify into this precious gem with a question and an answer.

So for the next hundred, we may have to pivot. Unless people want to email us at hrrpodcast.com and send us some riddles we've never done, or if we have done, we'll take those as well. It just took us, you don't complain. Change rounds of few words. We'll have any riddles, we're not above it. Or write us some unique original riddles.

But I think we can go for a little bit longer. And then at some point, we will have to pivot. What are we doing? Maybe after episode 200 will pivot Aaron. What do we want to do at episode 200? 200 we should just pivot to complimenting me. Everyone has to come with 40 compliments per episode. Invite don't like them. I'll boo you and you have to come up with another compliment. Cool, call it Fishing with Kiki. Of course, fishing for compliments. J.A.P.S, do you think there'll still be a world-left episode 200?

No way, but if there is, I think that we do a true crime politics podcast that we do in a different chain restaurant every week. Oh my god, I love it. Hard pivot. We just corner the market. It's called a hard pivot. I we just corner the market. It's called hard pivot. I just love the episode. We've recorded it a red lobster. Because it's the only episode I've been able to eat chips

and without you guys getting mad at me. Mm-hmm. Fair enough, fair enough. My favorite part about recording that episode in the red lobster is giving the audio to Casey and Casey being like, I can't do anything with this. This is real bad. You want to read it? It's bad. But then, here in Save to to the Day by recording it on my phone, too.

Remember? Did you record this in a red lobster? This is awful. That's a red lobster. Here's what I want to do. Aaron, go ahead. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just going to see if you guys

had a favorite moment from the last 100 episodes. A favorite moment from the last 100 episodes. A favorite moment. I think my favorite moment is buying JPC time, so that when it's his turn to say his favorite moment, it's better than mine. Oh, no, this sort of gifted the Mageye because of my favorite moment. Mageye? Addlesome Time. For the Mageye.

That's just a different pronunciation. Okay. Um, and I liked Maria CVS. I'm a major. That's just a different pronunciation. Okay. And I like to marry a CVS. Perfect. What I thought to do is start off with something, this is a little on orthodox, but I like to start off with something called Money, Money, Money, Puzzies, Puzzies.

It pays to be right. Adler buys, Honey Dollar Giveaway, based on book Adler buys, Honey Dollar Giveaway. Based on book Adler to my life in Ridicin' Puddies, Uncle Adler writes Honey Dollar Giveaway. Face Unbook Adler. Adler buys Honey Dollar Giveaway. Face Unbook Adler, too. My life in Riddies and Putties, Uncle Adler writes a check. Money, money, money. Huskies, Huskies, Huskies. It face to be right.

Adler buys Honey Dollar Giveaway. Adler buys. Face to be out of here. Face Unbook Adler, too. My life in Riddies and Putties. I'm the ladle, right, sunshine. Fuck me, that's too fast. So this is just going to be one question with one answer.

And if one of you gets it, you get a check for $100. Are we ready? Okay, but it's like it would be like the last check that you wrote me and bounced so hard that the teller at the bank is gonna say, was that a flubbered check? And it bounced so high even the commitment of a tumble couldn't block it.

So, a hundredth episode, we have to do a bunch of stuff that we love, a bunch of stuff that covers encapsulates all of our last 99 episodes. We have to do it. We have to do it. So, are we ready for this one question and if you get rid of those? Is it a riddle? Kind of. Was that your olds' puddles?

I think it was. That's her what it's her. So the question is, what was our first ever riddle on this podcast? Episode one, the very first riddle, I think it was a warm-up one, Erin. Um, I have to ask a qualifying question. No, no. Okay, she wants to know if she qualified. All right, hold on, if Erin asked a qualifying question, before she gets to answer, I also get to ask a qualifying question. I do want to state that this offers not valid

in Illinois, Maryland, Vermont, or Wisconsin. Aaron, go ahead, what's your qualifying question? Okay, well you said Illinois. Okay, so in the first episode, you go through like the famous three episode or the famous three reddles. The Holy Trinity. The Holy Trinity.

Are those, is that what you mean by riddles? Or is it the first one you asked us? This is the first one we asked, the first one that we're trying to guess. That's mentioned after I mentioned those three, I believe. Okay, and I have a qualifying question as well. Yeah. Did I get to ask? Okay. So, if my credit is say less than perfect. But I do have cash down, not 20%, but 15 so close. And I really want that Mazda. What can you do for me? Zoom zoom.

Is that Mazda? Sure. He should get the $100. Okay, my guess. That's my favorite. Here I have a quick riddle for JPC. Uh-huh. Who's the lead singer of the Smiths? Um, Moms, duh.

And Britain. And Britain, they call Morrissey Moms and they call Paul McCartney-Maka. Um, Aaron, what was your question? Puzz. Great. She pussed in, what's the answer? I know this was our first long riddle. It might not be the first one, but is the electric ear splitters one?

Ooh, that's a great guess. I believe the electric ear splitters, which is one of the worst riddles of our 99 episodes, is in that episode, but that is not the first one. Japs, you want to give it a try? If not, I forgot to mention you both owe me $100. If you get this wrong. That's fine. That's my bill. I will guess that it is that a polar bear with its fur being white, uh, riddle. That's the riddle that I'm in a guest. Okay, that's incorrect. I believe that was in Arnie's original theme song. Bunk. At some point it was discontinued.

The first riddle we ever answer and I'll read it now, but we won't dwell on it too long. There are seven birds in a tree. A hunter shoots one bird down. How many birds are left in the tree? Do we remember? None because they all scatter away. From the noise. They all get scared away.

But I believe Aaron at first said, I got it right. Six. She said it's not six, which was a great answer. That's an excellent answer. That was so smart. Yo, I was how old was I when this started 25? Something stupid like that.

I was such a dumb age when this started, and I was still smarter than both of you. And I was a boy. 15. Aaron coming out of the gates, hot. That's a con. I literally have no memory of how old I was. Damn, that's a hot gate.

Well, 26. We started about two years ago today, so. Okay, no, okay. Maybe this is pretty easy. Yeah, I guess I was 26. Your birthday is not in the summer. Nope, nope, nope. It doesn't matter. We won't dox Aaron. We won't say her real age. 41. Yeah, behind the scenes, we call Aaron Hines because she's 57. I was talking to a friend today and he lived as a woman who wouldn't tell him her age.

And I was like, that is wild. We don't know. That is wild. Didn't you say you mentioned on this podcast before you had a boyfriend who lied about his age? Yeah, for like a year. It's very creepy. Yeah. So wait, the person that I don't want to dox this person,

but the person who's living with the person, it's not like a romantic partner. They're just like a woman. No, just a roommate. Got it, got it, got it. I do want to dox someone that's Otis Redding. Check out his songs sitting on the dox of the bay. Very good singer songwriter.

Here we go, let's do some warm up riddies and pussies. So we're ready for this. Where does that $100 go? Okay, you know what? Since we didn't get it, can you donate it? Mm-hmm. I'm gonna donate that to a charity called Gemma,

Stembury Young. So you say she's the charity case. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me make like a talented cowboy and walk this back. Addles cutting a hole at his wall. He's climbing out of it. We're gonna do some hink pinks for a warm up here. So of course, I'm gonna give you a clue.

And the answer to these clues are two words that rhyme, a hink pink. Do we remember these? Yeah, I remember these hink pinks. So for example, a dog-like sound coming from a large dangerous marine fish would be a shark bark man follow me on Twitch shark bark man as a plug for jips shark bark man twitchy shark bark that is correct here we go

uh... a flaming hot personal journal ooo uh... firey diary that is a firey diary I want to see a scene I went to a Mexican restaurant last night and I don't don't don't Best tacos fiery diary. No, what do I was just saying I had great tacos I want to see a scene the two of you are terrible diarrhea Hate it just awful

All this hate to see it the two of you are editing this out of the episode The two of you are editing this out of the episode. Ha ha. The two of you are, let's see, Aaron, I'm sorry, JPC, you are writing in your diary. Okay. You have a lot of hot topics, a lot of gezzukes, a lot of really fun aerial pastel. Just a lot of gossip and dishing. Sure.

Aaron, you are the voice of the diary and you are a little fed up with how much sort of hot content is going into the diary and you want him little fed up with how much sort of hot content is going into the diary and you want him to sort of pump the breaks. Dear diary, today I was in the bathroom at work and I heard Steve from the urinal. Thank you so much for putting me to sleep. What? No. This is a hot, it's a hot for putting me to sleep. What, what, no. This is a hot, it's a hot story.

Hot, gosh, he's cheating on his wife. You know what? It changed jobs. What? Do something exciting. I cannot hear another moment about your business. I love marketing cat food. I'm a frisky, I'm a frisky man for life.

What do you mean? It changed jobs. You just please do something exciting. Be like a professional sky diver. Go on the bachelor. That's not a job. The professional sky diver is not a job. That's a repagational thing.

Yes it is. No people do like they you, they jump with people. You have to jump with someone who's professional. Go on the bachelor. I work in marketing. That's essentially what everyone on the bachelor does. They like, they work in app development, or the app development, that's an actual career.

They work. I don't mean to be a bitch, but your life is lame. What are you, okay, okay, let's go back. All my other diary friends have the best life. They're all like, it's like 17 year old girls. And I got put in the lap of a 40 year old man who works at Friskees. 36.

We cut to Aaron. No way. We cut to Aaron as a diary talking to the other diaries. Oh my gosh, you'll never believe what Melissa wrote me today. She got her first paryade. Hey guys, can I come in? Sorry, I'm out in the rain and it feels like these are the love.

Is that nice? Yeah, and I just, Well, I guess I guess if the doors locked it's gonna stay locked I mean this is diary diary fan club in here. So we're all full rock capacity so it's diary fan club in there We're celebrating ourselves. We're filling ourselves Anyway Jeff got a hand job at a and a Mazza Viana. I wasn't in the other I'm just gonna hand job it up in a Mazaviyada. I was in a Mazaviyada. Uh, I wish I had some of her right down about getting a hand job in my army. Wait a minute.

I'm sorry, what? What did you say? I wish someone would write about getting a hand job. I couldn't fit her. How do I say this? Melissa wrote me that she gave a hand job, but she said she didn't come from it. She, I'm sorry.

Yeah. She, she bothered writing that part. Hashtag never come from a hand job. Sex education is not good. If she thought that maybe she could come from giving someone else a hand job. I think Tony told her that. Honestly, if Jess being honest, that handjob with the me, he didn't come either. He was just excited to get it. It's been a long drive spell for Jeff.

See you guys. Here we go, let's do a few more hink pinks. How about a billionaire large monkey? A grape ape. A grape ape. A grape ape. A grape ape. A grape ape. A grape ape. Here we go to see a few more hink pinks. How about a billionaire large monkey? A grape ape. A billionaire large monkey. Rich.

Follow that train of fire. Shimp. Rich, a shimp. A Bezos gorilla. Shimp a basil gorilla A billionaire large monkey we'll talk about some water I watch the Jane Goodall documentary and Disney plus. It's crazy. It's so good. She's amazing She with monkeys or apes is she she gorillas in the mist? Apes or no. Is that gingerbread? Is she what, sorry.

Is she what, sorry. Diane Fossier, who's gorillas in the mist? I don't know. Okay, I wanna see you seen Aaron, you are following in Jane Goodall's footsteps and you are coming across, James and I playing, we will be Bonobos monkeys

since JPCs to shop at Bonobos. Ellie makes sense to play some really fashionable monkeys. Sure. Sure. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, I've been watching you guys for six months, and I just thought I'd come over and say hi.

Oh, ha. I'm not a very sick monkey. I'm a human woman. I know that I must look like a very monkey. Oh, yeah, you look awful for a monkey, yeah. Yeah, but I look very beautiful for a woman. Opinions, opinions, opinions. My name is Cookie and my name is Cookie. You're both named Cookie. What's that you think? It's a jar.

It's a jar. Are you all named Cookie? Yeah, cause we're both a fucking midnight snacks. What the fuck are we all named Cookie? Well, come on, we are. Yeah, I mean, but she doesn't know. What's your name? What's your name?

Oh my ears. Oh my ears. Yeah. Sure! Flush! Slush! Tapioca! Did you see? Do I look tired? No! I'm just guessing name!

Can you please ask questions? Listen up you little shits! Everyone is going to listen to me because I'm the only one studying your species So I'm going to go back there and what do you want me to tell the world about you? Well, I want you to tell people that you didn't wear a mask when you met us. The pandemic's not over because you're bored. Ha ha ha! Six feet! Six feet!

Oh ha ha ha! Yeah, I'm just gonna let these guys go extinct. Ha ha ha ha! See. I'm kidding, don't do that. Don't do that. We talked about Bonobos, we talked about gorillas and great apes. What are some other types of monkeys?

So apes aren't monkeys. Are we looking for an apre a monkey here? That fucking doctor. What are you? Doctors are already, come on. Actually, apes are monkeys. Okay, so the apes are on the table, I guess. So a regentag?

No. Um, a chim regent. No. A chimpanzee. Well, it is rich. What I'm trying to do is get you to guess the monkey, and then from there, you can work and try and find out what the rhyming word would be. So the rhyming word isn't rich. The rhyming word is not rich. What type of monkey rhymes with rich?

What about a, what about a confused about? What about a beamer lemur? You know, a lemur driving a BMW. The richest car money can buy. So once I said, H on the table, you're going, Jesus. The answer is Osterl Pithesis.

Damn, I'm rich with this. Come on. Okay. Okay. Guys, it's a hundredth episode we have to move on. The answer is baboon tycoon. Oh, I did play baboon tycoon. It's like Sim City, but it's covered in shit. Just awful.

Last one, a person who conceals the hot apple juice. Oh. Sider hider. Aaron, you're close. It's. Oh, cider hider. Aaron, you're close. It's cider Hitler. Cider Hitler. I love that board game. The best part of fall.

Cider Hitler starts such fights. It's always starting fights. But it's so fun. Autominal Gerbels. That was pretty fun, right? Yeah, I had pretty fun. Okay. I'm pretty and fun. Next thing. What I'd like to do now is not too long ago, maybe 15 to 20 episodes ago, who cares time is irrelevant. We did something with some cake lyrics. Do we remember that? Yes, I can't remember how

we wrote cake songs. We wrote some cake songs. So what'd like to do this is called word-ass cake that's short for word association cake Okay, what we're going to do is We'll have japes go first. I'm going to give one word Aaron's going to give another word and japes You have to start singing and cake lyrics starting with my word and word associate until you get to Aaron's word Does that make sense? I got it. Okay, so I'm word associating between two words in a kick song. And you have to try and work your way to the other word. Ideally if the words are like, you know, dolphin and France, you don't go like dolphin, did it, did it, did it, the Eiffel Tower of France, right? Try and make it a logical connection. Okay, don't tell

me how to do it because if I want to say dolphin ifles our france that's the whole fucking song It's a three-second song great. This segment is all called dolphin ifles our friends and Do you want some cake music in the background from us? I beat wood. Yes, we could have Arnie Parrot add some I Would I would love either one. So we could either... I'll give you a nice base behind it. Great.

Thank you. So the word I'm going to give you is granola. And Aaron, so you're going to start with that word. And Aaron, give him the word he's going to end on. Boarding school. From granola to boarding school, this is a weird word-ass cake. Okay. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh- pantry. My mom comes behind me and she does something. My wrist is burning. My wrist is so hurt. I try to get the granola. Now I'm down in the dirt. My life is over for sure. She's shipping

me out to a bone. Yeah. Thank you. Ha ha. Wonderful. Ten-a-tips. Um. Aaron, do you want to go? Actually. Do you want to go next or last? Oh, I have to do this.

Yeah. If you want to go next. Oh, boy. How about you go next? OK. So Aaron, you give me a word to start on? Butterfly. Butterfly, great.

And you're, we're in darkness cargo plane. Great, so from butterfly to cargo plane, from Justin and Kelly was what I was hoping for, but I didn't get that, so it's a butterfly to cargo plane. Can someone give me that nasty back and beat? Absolutely. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I got a CD.

Mariah Carey's new album. It's hot. Red hot, I bought it and I drove my car to the river banks. I slapped a fish in the mouth because it called me a fucker. I threw it back in the ocean near New Jersey. because it called me a fucker. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Oh boy, got some yogurt in my mouth and I can't spit it out. Oh, bobo bobo. Tabasco in my eyes, I see red hot fire ants. Eamy, like crystal skull in the end, the Jones,

cargo plane short rounds. This is gonna be seven minutes. Oh my gosh. Aaron, do you wanna go? That one has a journey to it. Yeah, I would like to go. I would like no backing tracks. So professional musicians can give backing music to me

if they are inspired. Okay, Acapoco, you're going to do it Acapoco. Aaron, your starting word is, let's see here, your starting word is forgiveness. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And James ending word? Is it okay if we use proper nouns? Absolutely. Okay. Your ending word is Jane Fonda. Great. So from forgiveness to Jane Fonda. in Fonda.

I'm here to talk about my favorite story. It's the one called Monster in Law. It's about forgiveness and change and getting along with your mother in law. It's hard to do, but JLo shows us how. She starts, she falls in love with a man on the beach. He likes her eyes, he knows the color of her eyes They fall in love everything is perfect. He's a doctor Maybe it doesn't matter, but he's hot Jane Fonda comes into the picture

She's a talk show host to recently went crazy I'm gonna keep going. The whole movie they're torturing each other I think at one point they actually poison each other but in the end she knows that J.Lo loves her son, her son. And she forgives her. Jane Fonda's number one. Okay, very good, very good, very good day. That was my cake song about the... Stop! Stop!

What is it? I'm busy right now. So your first word was forgiveness. Your ending word was Jane Fonda. You started by talking about a Jane Fonda movie, then mentioned it was about forgiveness and then just listed the cast. I think I went a little bit into the plot. I think Eric did a really exemplary there. I forgot to mention Wanda Sykes. Great, yep, we all know cake is audio piss, but I thought

to do that because it was a fun segment we did previously. And I think we all learned a little something about the movie monster in law. And we all know that I'd drink piss for $800 so nothing wrong with audio piss. Yep, let them eat cake. And speaking of cake, why don't we have a nice slice of commercial break here? You could have said commercial cake. Oh well, did I? You could have said commercial cake. Oh, well, did I? We have to start over. Okay, all right, let's have a nice slice of commercial cake.

A commercial cake could be a Kirkland brand cake. Guess we're advertising cake, is that still work? Yeah, that works. Here's some fucking cake. One, two, three, four, hang, ritual, ritual Hey, GPC! Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch.

You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website,

not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords,

our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. Yeah, with it. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've

been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeline JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life, we're faced with tough choices. And the path forward isn't always clear, whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online,

so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating

them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d L-E

R-I-D-D-L-E the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in The T-C helping at home I am home Who are we? What is this? Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday.

And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you

lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel

it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over 3 million. Oh, clink, clink, clink. Over 3 million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rockets coming here. Stop, clink, clink, clink. Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle,

and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. I like. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click thought I would not be asked to be on, but here I am anyway. And I have to special guess, I've brought my parents here. First I would like everyone to meet my mother. Coco, Coco, Kashmir. Hey, what's the big idea? You said that I could be the one to introduce myself when I came back from break.

And then you made me wait, you're just as bad as that tampon thief I once knilled. Please, I thought we wouldn't talk about that anymore. Tampon! Thanks! And, and mommy, I've also brought daddy on here as well. Please everyone- Oh, that old sow and sow, boo! Please welcome my father, JP Riddles.

Well, what's that? What am I doing here? Oh boy, where did I put my forks in my biscuits? Ah, you're gonna have trouble if you don't put me back in my trash can I mean two bedroom apartment. That's what it is. It's on a trash can with a lid that's painted like a little house with little eyes on the side Take me back to my home. You are a Creighton. Oh, it's my son. It's my boy. It's my husband. How you doing boy? Why we got it Duvolished Mommy, why did you get a divorce? Is it it obvious? I don't remember I was high out of my mind on methamphetamine and I signed a Burger King rapper when I saw what was handed to me by a police officer

And the next thing I knew I was getting kicked out of my ass Do you know why the horses are so expensive? There were it Yeah Yeah wrong at all We got married by a raccoon who had recently been ordained by a website Yeah, she's leaving us and that's my half brother Raccoon who has recently been ordained by your website Yeah, she's leaving us and that's my half brother

That's really that's really raccoon stole two silver pieces for me and by silver pieces I mean parts of a toaster that I disk can be labelled and I was gonna use that toaster to cook a big batch of milk Water, but I ended up not drinking it after all lost spoiled checks out hey mother Yes, would you mind singing a song about when you met daddy? but I ended up not drinking it after all the loss spoiled. Check out, hey mother. Yes. Would you mind singing a song about when you met daddy? Okay fine, but after I'm done he better tell the story about how he proposed. It was the worst day of my life. I just want to say thank you for giving me some time to prepare. You're welcome. Okay Okay here's my song. Singing on a moonbeam, singing on a starbeam, singing

all in the sky. I swung to the sun to sing on the sun and I burned out my eye. Tiffity, tap and she's tiffity, tap and this doesn't count but it sounds like wrapping, wrapping paper in my body because I wear it as a dress and it went up my butt. Go, go, get me and she's here and she's at the microphone and she likes to call it home because she's having a good time solving riddles and she married James and mother. Thank you mother. And husband is a son. Thank you mother.

Thank you mother. Oh, buddy. Thank you so much. That was beautiful. A plot sounds. That brings a blood to my eye. Clap, clap, clap. I forgot that mother burned down her eye.

What a travesty. Oh, and I met your father in a dumpster. Daddy, would you please tell us swan lumps number 100, A-K-A, the time you proposed. Mm-hmm. All right, here it is. Okay, swan lumps number 100, the haunted caterpillar. So all JP riddles was taken his lady friend a Corden and they were doing all the normal human dating activities

They were going to the pond and trying to get scum to throw it on the cop car so they could take the cop's wallet They were doing all the nice date and activities that young couples in love to and then oh one day old JP riddles He really stepped in it because he got her in the old family way that's right She had a robot in her belly and she was gonna give some a little bit of birth to that. It's all JP Riddles he was confused he was young and he had no idea what to do but he got down on one knee and he said will you make me the happiest half bat in the world and will you be my lovely wedding wife and she said I wouldn't marry you if you were the last

half bat half dog alive And he kicked him to the curve and he howled and he cried and he nashed his teeth and he said god damn you I wouldn't marry you if you were the last woman on earth And that's the hearted caterpillar my old JP riddle swan lumps number 100 That was a beautiful story and beautiful song, Mommy and Daddy. Thank you for giving birth to me. You know what, all of this,

this family reunion, it's got me in what kind of wild way. What do you say, Coco Keshmer? Will you give it another shot? Will you take me back and we could be a family again? Never, you absolute weirdo. If I remember correctly, you have a plastic fork sticking and we could be a family again. Never are you absolute weirdo! If I remember correctly, you have a plastic fork sticking all the way through your neck.

Okay fine, well you at least give me my damn spaghetti or cans back, I need those! I got coupons inside of those! I keep the dog! So Sat to see father crying root beer. That is blood! Back to you Adol thanks Buzz bought wow what it was special little moments That was great. James and Kiki still there. Uh-huh. Yeah, I was listening. I'm checking on my vocal cords because they are bleeding Why are they bleeding? Oh because just listening to cocoa cash Cashmere's voice make my vocal chorus start to bleed.

Yeah, mine is fine. I won't feel it all tomorrow. Just in case you know what that's mean. Let's do, how about we do some main chorus, riddies and puzzies. Here we go. Here's our first one. Do we still remember how to do these?

No. Okay. My dear boy, I never knew how to do these Here we go. This is called the deadly suitcase. Ah A woman opened a suitcase and found to her horror that there was a body inside. How had it got there? Okay She is an old-timey performer on the road and she has a little She is an old-timey performer on the road and she has a little what is it called? Ventually.

Ventually act. And that body is the her puppet that she has too many feelings for. Okay, that's a wonderful guess. Okay, I will give a hint that it is not an in-animate object. It is an actual body and it is dead Her suitcase got switched Okay explain show your work I can never can I'm bad at math. Okay, my dear boy is it's necessarily a human body

It is oh man Somebody was carrying a body in a suitcase and then their luggage got mixed up. Okay, lazy, but I'll take it. Does she have a, does she have a clue board in her luggage and it's Mr. body with two D's? Okay, very fun, very fun, very topical. No, it is not. Okay.

Um, is the body chopped up in any way that would make her be like horrified? It is not. The cause of death seems to be S-fixiation. Ooh. Oh, someone's snuck into her suitcase. Her husband's snuck into her suitcase to go on the vacation with her. Warmer and sane for her. I would like to see a seed. JPC, Adel, you guys are married.

You're going on a weekend away to be with your friends and Adel. You have snuck into JPC suitcase and now you're in your hotel, JPC, and you're unwrapping your suitcase to reveal Adel. Jesus Christ. Alright, let's get this guys weekend started My god fuck fuck fuck fuck doctor call the doctor doctor doctor doctor what what is going on? Holy shit, doctor. Your legs are shattered. Oh my god. I had a full-old spice the other and Sorry what I had a full old spice deodorant. You're a... I'm sorry, what? I ate a full old spice deodorant.

Your legs are broken in like 16 places. They're all over the place. I broke them myself to distract me from the taste of the old spice. Spark! Why? Why do you keep doing this? Surprise. You got pulled over two weeks ago and you broke your leg in four places.

Spark, this is not a compelling disguise. It's the best trick. It's the best trick the devil ever tried. I'm sorry, sir. We can't treat him. He could be healthy, but all the doctors can't stand the smell of him because he smells like a 14 year old boy going through puberty who's just

sprayed the shit out of himself. That old spice. Seems like doctors should look past that. No, we can get to be honest. We just, like, we've talked and we think it's really yuck. And just to be clear, when I said I ate your old spice the other day, I meant I drank your old spice body spray. I think we'll get a second opinion.

We'll go to a different hospital. Okay. My husband needs emergency leg surgery immediately. Uh, what does that smell? Is it my two broke legs? No, that smells good. I don't know what it could be. My husband does need the leg surgery.

Uh, I, maybe, I, you may be smelling me, I had old spice. But me, sorry to intrude I was Hot down the hospital hallway by a waft of smell. I work for Yankee candles. My name is Richard Yankee candle And I can't help but want to ask can I buy this scent whatever it is Old spice our broken legs. Oh broken legs. Could we package that? A candle? A Yankee candle that's... Broken legs? I'm a Yankee.

We cut the Christmas. We cut the Christmas the next year. This is a man opening up his Christmas gift. Okay, this is a... For Marjorie. Thank you, Marjorie. Okay. You're welcome!

Oh, boy. Uh, it is a... Oh, it's a Yankee candle. Broken legs. Oh, it's my it's my favorite. Oh You can smell it now. It smells like a hospital waiting for a dredged old spice. Well broken legs candle See Aaron I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you. You were close enough. The body was that of the woman's son. She did not have enough money for two air, air fairs, so she put him in suitcase with tiny

air holes. She did not know that the luggage compartment would be depressurized. Oh, that was the worst. Did not find a little story. Yeah, it's fun because she was looking for a new phone. Oh, dude, I miss. Okay. Perfect.

That was good. I like that. It's good. I like it. They really felt good. I like that happens to the boy. Yeah. It's like how broken legs smell.

It's good. And not bad and bad. Do you want to take that to Rital Court? I do. I'd like to take that Ritaller to Riddler Court, please. All rise for Judge JPC! All rise, all rise. Don't everybody rise because I can't rise

because I am not wearing any bottoms today. And I'm just wearing a Judges shirt. Oh wait, that was... I did the wrong voice. All rise for Judge JPC! Judge, what is a Judges shirt? I've heard of a judges shirt. Oh wait, that was either the wrong voice. All right, for Judge JPC. Judge, what is a judges shirt? I've heard of a Judge's robes, but never a Judge's shirt. Can you describe it?

It's exactly the same as a Judge's Rose robes, just from the torso up. As always, I'm typing it all down. Yes, thank you. Make sure that you're typing this down. OK, what do we have on the docket today, Baylor? On the docket is a riddle about a boy suffocating in a suitcase. Okay.

And we have the prosecution and the defense. Prosecution, would you like to make your opening statements? You don't wanna, if I'm made. Oh, this is a very good one. I'm taking this to riddle court and I'm the defense. Uh-huh. No, I'm sorry, you're the prosecution. This is, this is Colonel Sanders, he's taking lunch orders.

I'll have three pieces. Twelve original spices. Can I say something? Can I say something? Absolutely. I'm a way of all the spices out there. You got your card of mum, your card of dad, a card of uncle, card of B. I'm a way of all the spices, but what Colonel Sanders did

myself, I made 12 original spices. So these are brand new spices that the public never tastes before. I'll hear it. OK. You're after about you. You are under oath. Oh, I'm OK.

Let me get under this oath here. Oath, do you mind if I crawl underneath you? It's OK. Thankath, do you mind if I crawl underneath you? It's okay. Thank you, Holdo. Now, some of my sponsors, then go ahead and list them off here. We have a crib, a crabble, a Chex mix. What else do we have here? Just read the list of inside jokes.

You can get out of the courtroom. All right, we have the prosecution, prosecution, please make your opening case. All right, I see here a riddle that is far too dark to be on a riddle podcast or for it to even exist. Why kill a kid when you can kill an adult is what I always say in the riddle game. If you kill an adult, have it be someone shitty and not just a woman. I risked my case. Yeah, okay, so let's check in with the jury.

Looks like they're high five at each other. They seem to love that. They're doing the arsidio, whoop whoop. So you got to bend your quarter. We take it to the defense. Defense? You're on a, I have two sides. So can I have some time to prepare?

And what I mean by prepare is, prepare some delicious 12 original spots here come right you could you can prepare that chicken But I think that I already have my verdict jury you're excused. I don't need to hear from you In fact you wasted my whole fucking day just being here. So get out you're on if I may Pizza party I'm sorry closed the jury has come to a decision. Okay, I already came to that decision, but go ahead and be the jury find this riddle to be horrible. And we find

Colonel Sanders to be a distraction to this scene. Okay, never. No, the jury has spoken. this riddles guilty this riddle goes to jail Hold on you're on a curtlesit note curtles and your on a bar the you are disbar Sorry, so you don't touch this salad bar for the rest of the day Okay, you're on of the jury has spoken, but I'd like to bring to the stand Jeremy so that jam it can be spoken Okay, you're now you can't be a lawyer anymore. See Okay, now you can't be a lawyer anymore. See? Good. Oh.

Uh, um, Aaron just to be fair, a woman did not die in that scene. I know I'm just saying like, we're either killing kids or women in riddles. Mm-hmm. Riddle books, riddle books. Riddle books do better. Um, I do, it, japes, I don't know if you got my email. Did you end up getting the, uh, permit? Oh, yes, I did't know if you got my email. Did you end up getting the permit?

Oh yes, I did get the permit. Permit the frog here, the permit we need for the parade. Oh, the perthee animal parade? No, I did not, sorry. I need to quickly Google animals, I can't think of any. Was I supposed to get that? I didn't actually get your email, I was just trying to play it. Here we go, we're just going to do the song intro only. None of the, none of the sloppy, sloppy aftermath. Just the intro song. Here we go. This is animal parade.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. A horse who's a horse who's forced to testify. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Again, he piggin' a stoplight. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. An arena tank with a hangover. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. And Al who wants his kids back. Stoplight! Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh cock. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I remember. Okay, yes, I do. I was a little upset to be fair. I'm very, very sorry about that. Let's do, should we do one more, Rudy? Yes.

Is that least? Is there anything we haven't done that you all want to do episode 100? I mean, there's so much content. We can't cram everything in here, but I tried to pepper in a few little moments. Hey, as long as we get two riddles in there, I'm happy.

Okay, we sure Aaron, you don't want to rap for daddy or anything? I mean, the people are dying to hear me rap. I've already done a terrible cake song and I've already done a terrible cookoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucoucouc Frudadi. So the topic for this one, Jeeps, do you have a topic for her? Otherwise, I can conjure one up myself. Yes, I do have a topic. Okay. The left-handed scissors. Bumps it. There's scissors for people who are left-handed.

Oh, okay, thank you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You tried to cut and it's really hard. I'm gonna give you my credit card. So you can go to the store and buy something that'll get you high off life. It's a pair of scissors. Damn it. I really didn't try to do that.

Favorite scissors. Uh, I don't want you to be scissors. Because that's what you'll be if you don't get them You're left handed and we love it cut away Hey your project because you're left handed and that's what's up amazing applause applause applause applause Don't like how much that sounds like the Louis song. Dave, we're gonna have you, we're gonna not gonna have you rap for daddy,

but I do wanna see a quick 30 second commercial for left handed scissors, which has the slogan, your left handed, we love it. Hey, I'm Mickey Dolance, and I'm here with left handed scissors, left handed scissors. They're right handed scissors. You turn them backwards. Just turn them around backwards. Cut towards yourself.

You'll love to see it. You can't get hurt, because you got your friend Mickey Dolan here. And I guarantee that you're gonna love the cut that you come with. Left handed scissors. Good luck to you, my friends. Left handed scissors.

You have to come down to my house to buy them. There's a big side. I put outside, oh, the side blew away. Well, honey. What are you doing in the front yard? Shut up! I'm in the front yard. I don't sell scissors. Why can't Mickey Dolan sell his scissors? It's enough. Come in and help your son with his math homework. That's not my son. I can't redeem. That's not my son. That mailman six foot tall. He's got blood hair and blue eyes.

Mickey, what are you doing? We're on stage, two, three, hey, hey, we're the monkeys. And people say we monkey her. How, and I mean how did we get to a hundred episodes? How, please, how did we do this? How long, how, how, what is happening? So this is the worst podcast on air. Let's do one more riddle and then we'll put this baby to bed.

Here we go. A New York City hairdresser recently said that he would rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker. Why? Um, they tip better. It's something with a word of boot in it. Okay. Famously cadence. You're not tip.

Pizza Rat, a boot, pizza rat, a boot, New Yorker, NYC, a blockier. Doesn't Hoffman, Hoofman, Horse, Police Horse. I don't know. I don't know. Isn't that what you said that earlier in the earlier episode? I don't know the answer to this riddle. Is this riddle answer?

Is the answer to this riddle, does it have something to do with currency? Yes. Okay. So I'm going to be in one more time. A New York City hairdresser recently said that he would rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker. Why? Because he'd rather cut the hair of three Canadians than one New Yorker. Why? Because he'd rather cut the loons than a buck.

Okay, very good, very good. What? And that's gonna be a dead JPC stuff. Okay. All right, is loonies, is that something? That's the currency in Canada. Loonies. Their money looks like monopoly money.

There, I said it. Why is your money so beautiful? What are you doing? Colorful. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you are an American who is in Canada. Adel, you're going to be playing a Canadian who works at some sort of shop.

And Aaron, you're going to be trying to pay him with monopoly money. Before we start the scene, JPC, I failed to do this, and I feel like I would be remiss if I did not. Congratulations on yelling left handed scissors. Good luck to you. That was just the best.

Okay, here we go. I would please just please let me pay for my healthcare. Oh, no, please, this not necessary. Not necessary. Can I interest you? Has anyone ever told you that you look like the Swedish chef? Oh, no, he's ever told me, dude. Would you like to buy a boot? No, I would like to. It's a sailing boot. I would like to pay for my health care. I broke my leg here. I want to pay for it.

Oh, that smell. Can I boot or let's smell bottle that smell? No okay okay what is this money? Oh this is a loony. How to explain to an American? Do you know books boony? Bugs boony and doofy doofy doofy. And poor kipug. They're like loony tunes. It's like that loony. They're like loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- loo- Blacks. How have you been doing a civilating with the humans? Not so great. Oh, buddy. Is that your Canadian accent? Could you try one better? You, you swapping for me. You take on my form. And you, and you talk to the woman who's still at the store. Okay. How we cut back down to the doctor's office.

I've been standing here for several days. Can you please just take my money? It's me Mickey Dolans. Oh yeah, I'd love to take your money. I was in the monkeys. I just slide the money right over. It's me Mickey Dolans. And see.

So who were the monkeys? We're like Mickey Dolans, David Jones. David Jones, David Crockett Dolans. Crockett, yeah. uh... who are the monkeys were like make you don't say the joe david joe's davi cock at cockat dullins crack it yeah crack it out and all in the uh... and we have an answer for this riddle or should we should we give up it's a it's a no no it's a new to the money is so it's your your sister recently said he would rather cut the hair of three

Canadians than one new yorker why I will say it absolutely has something to do with the monies, but also it's a bit of math. It's math? A bit of hyper hyper hyper simple math. I mean like a first grader could solve this math problem. Oh three people he's cutting the hit like he's getting more and more than he's cutting three people's hair. Aaron Bunga Bunga Hoot. He would rather cut the hair of three Canadians because he would get three times the the monies. That makes sense. That makes sense. We did it. That makes a lot of sense. Uh was a hundred Yuppies. We did it. We did it.

Wow, we did it. Wow, why are we? Isn't that exciting? I mean, yeah. The best. I feel excited. Is that it? Is there nothing else?

Well, we do have a few messages from previous guests who have helped make this show the absolute shitstorm that it is. So why don't we play some of our recorded messages from our previous guests who have helped make this show the absolute shit storm that it is. So why don't we play some of our recorded messages from our previous guests? Hey, this is Justin McRae from the Hit YouTube series Things I bought at Sheets. I just wanted to say congratulations to Hey Riddle Riddle. I have a riddle for you if I may be so bold to pose to the riddle masters. How proud am I of you? Did you guess it?

Ah, well, this is a riddle for which there is no answer. Because infinity can't be quantified. I love you so much. So much. Yes, hello, this is Janet Vaan puzzle. Three people have a podcast together. If each host has an equal number of hilarity molecules, it's the other, and their number of episodes can be deduced when you know that 33.3 hilarity molecules per person are the

maximum possible per person for each episode, with a guest per episode value of X. How many episodes has the podcast had? The answer is 100, probably. Congrats, Adel-Aaron and JPC for being the delightful, smart, and hilarity molecule-rich humans that you are. Oh, hi, this is Jess McKenna. And I just wanna say, congrats, Riddle Riddle, on your 100th episode. Give a Riddle bit.

Give a Riddle bit of your love to this show. Great job, congrats. Yeah, hi, Camel, Machado for TJ. And it should be free today. Oh, cause hey, Riddle Riddle's got their 100th episode and I was on one one, so. Machado for TJ and should be free today. Oh, because Hey Ritter-Woodle's got their hundreds of episodes and I was on one one, so should be free Machado day I'm guessing. Episode 39, you know, I don't wanna go around around

about it, just my name's TJ Jagadowski and I should get a free fucking caramel. Machado, because Hey Ritter-Woodle has this hunt of thepa so today and I don't wanna hear. How about I talk to a manager? For, uh, yeah. Hi, uh, hey riddles having its 100th episode, and I want a free caramel Machia, don't? Alright, you know what? Fuck this place.

Riddle me this. Riddle me this! Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Who's a fan of hey riddle riddle? Good question, Mr. Riddle, this! Riddle me this! Riddle me that! Who's it? Fan of Hey Riddle Riddle. Good question Mr. Riddleer. Everyone is the answer. Hi Hey Riddle Riddle, this is Dan Lippert saying congratulations on a hundred episodes and thank you for having big grandeon and for being such vocally kind and supportive and funny people towards me, I've appreciated getting to know all of you, so genuinely that warm and delightful.

And your podcast is a great example of that. So congrats on making 100 episodes. That's 100 more episodes of a riddle and improv podcast than probably anybody on the earth. So that's incredible. I can't wait to hear the next 700 Let's set the bar there and see where we go. Love you guys. Congrats Aaron JPC and Adel your great Hi, hey riddle riddle. It's Ryan Rosenberg I just wanted to congratulate you guys on a hundred episodes

We had such a blast when you brought Big Grande on there and I hope we can come back on for the second round of a hundred. Congrats guys. Oh hey riddle, riddle. It's John Mackie from Big Grande's Teachers Lounge. I just wanted to send you this quick little message to tell you how proud I am of you offer for making it to episode 100. You know, when you start a podcast, if you're anything like me, you think I'll maybe do

six episodes of this, but you all have done a hundred episodes of your podcast. And that's a feat that you should be really proud of. You know, I'll tell you, when I was the podcast um, I've vacillated between having the best time of my life and the most humiliating time of my life thinking I was right About an answer when I was very much wrong But I appreciate you all giving me the opportunity to show the world just how stupid I am Uh, and here's to another hundred more episodes, you know But only a hundred more. Don't you dare

do more than 200 episodes because that would be greedy. There's not enough space on the internet for 200 episodes of a podcast. Okay, this message is way too long. Bye. Hey, Riddle Riddle. This is Pat Conley and I just wanted to say, can't go to urinals. Hey, Riddle Riddle, this is Pat Conley and I just wanted to say, can't go to Uranals. Alustin Cartoon. No sour lactating. Long satanic tour. In other words, congratulations. I love you guys, I love the show and I love the fans.

We're all looking forward to the next 100. Thank you so much. Hello, this is Sandy, aka the Cookie Man, aka the Sandman here with... Ezra, the Sandman son. Sandman son. And we're here to wish you a happy 100th episode. We can't believe that it has been 100 and in honor of that we have brought you some more puzzles in the style that Esra did when he was on the show.

These are all based off the number 100. Once you go. 100 s in the USS. Well, that would be 100 senators in the US Senate. 100 d at which WB? Degrees at which water boils. BF is on the hundred DB. Ben Franklin is on the hundred dollar bill, of course. A hundred is the PTNNGI and NNN.

Oh well that's an easy one. That's a hundred is the police telephone number in Greece, India, Israel, and Nepal obviously Obviously 100 p.s. by WC of the PW Well 100 points scored by Wilk Chamberlain of the Philadelphia warriors 100 is HSC ITTC SCWIR. Oh, well, that's a little bit tricky.

100 is the HTTP status code indicating that the client should continue with its request. Last one. 100 E of HRR with A, J and E. 100 episodes of Hey Riddle Riddle with Addle, JPCP.C. and Aaron. Nice work. Happy birthday.

Birthday? Happy anniversary. Happy surgery. You're always the wheelchair Berlin in our hearts. Yeah. Good bye. Hey there, Riddler Crew. Wherever you guys call yourselves.

It's Mitch. Yes. That Mitch. Aaron told me that you guys have your 100th episode coming up. I thought it'd be nice of me, after all I've been through on your show, to be the better man and wish you congratulations. So congratulations, you fuck sticks. We've enjoyed your 100 episodes of meaningless banter. Stupid little assides and little skits.

It's pointless and stupid. You're all very dumb for having participated in it all. Fuck yourselves. Hate you guys. There. Hey, Mitchell, it's all. Hey, Mitchell. Thank you so much for everyone who took the time

to record those messages. We also want to give a huge, huge thank you to everyone to everyone who has made 100 episodes possible. I most likely will forget someone I do apologize. This is absolutely my fault and my final fault alone. But I wanna thank Casey Tony, audio daddy, Arnie Parrott, KJ Snyder, Emily Cardamus, Cardamus. Fuck, Emily Morris, Kelly Polesny,

Jasmine Darnell, Jasmine Darnell is probably correct. I'm getting nervous, Ray Glass, Tommy Moranji, Sandy Weiss, Ezra Weiss, Pat Connelly for sending in original riddles all the time. Arnie, our guest Arnie Neckham, Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, Brooke Bright, Zach Reno, Jess McKenna, Becca Barris, TJ Jagadowski, Rush Howell, John Gabers, Hayes Davenport, Janet Varney, Janet Morph,

Jeffrey Kramer, John Mackie, Dan Lippert, Ryan Rosenberg, Demi Adijouibay, Rob Cordray. We want to thank the Headgum Network, Jake and Amir, Mars Merce, Amarica, and the entire Headgum staff. Rock Rising, caveat theater, New York's San Francisco Sketchfest, Shubis Iotheater, Taliahal, the Comedy Store in LA, all of our advertisers, Ann and Chris Luchman, all the listeners. Thank you to everyone who's listened this far. Fuck you to everyone who dropped off your cowards. And we wanna thank all of our patrons as well.

I'm so sorry again if we left anyone out. The best thing you can do to support us is to tell others about the show. I believe most of our listeners are from Word of Mouth. So please tell a friend, tell an enemy, tell your doctor, tell a raccoon, tell a horse. If you haven't already, please also rate and review the show. I think it's such a typical boring thing for podcasts, or just to say, but it absolutely

makes a difference. There's a reason everyone says it. Please rate and review if you haven't already. And the number one way to support us is by joining our Patreon. We have 100 plus hours of bonus content. You get access to it all as soon as you join. So please join our Patreon. That's patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle.

And if you want to this week, please tweet about your favorite moments from the last hundred episodes. You can do that by using the hashtag 100, the number 100 riddle memories. That's a hashtag 100 riddle memories. Of course, if it makes sense not to use this hashtag because there's something more important going on, please refrain from using that hashtag.

But otherwise, we'd love to hear your favorite moments. And we also have a new piece of merch in the Tea Public Store from Jasmine Darnell, celebrating the 100th episode. So please check that out. That should be up in the store now. Also, huge thank you and a big I love you to JPC and Aaron Keefe. James and KeeKee, I'm so happy to have gone on this ride with you all. It's time for me

to get off. I'm pulling the car over. I wish you to the best of luck. I've been asking you to pull over because I have to throw up. I've been peeing in the back. You've been peeing on my back. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, show so much and everyone I've met doing it. JPC, I was afraid of you before. I'm still afraid of you. Little less so now because you make me laugh so hard. Thank you so much for your company and thank you both for making me laugh and making my life better and brighter. That was, it was a topest restaurant in Kalamazoo.

So if any riddle heads, if any riddience out there when it's sourced the origin of Aaron joining the show, there's a topest place somewhere downtown Kalamazoo check it out. Oh, yes. And let's see, where can you find me? I would like to plug my Twitch stream. You can follow me on Twitch at Shark Barkman. Also, I would like to plug on the 27th of this month, June 27th, which is the last Saturday

of June. I am going to be doing a 24-hour charity live stream on my Twitch channel. It's going to start at 10 a.m. Central time and go to 10 a.m. Central time on Sunday. It's going to be a 24-hour Twitch live stream. It's going to be for the Chicago Community Bond Fund, which is a fund that helps pay off people's bond when they are charged for crimes in Cook County. So hopefully we can get some people who do not need to be in jail out of jail. So mark your calendars. That is the 27th, 10 am, central time, twitch.tv slash shark bark man. I'm going to have a ton of games, a ton of guests, a ton of people in there.

And maybe I'll go and say never 24 hours. Please check out Monster in Law. Yeah, please check out Monster in Law. And then message me about it. Greg, great movie. Please buy our Broken Ligs channel. You can find that on candelpublic.com. Mm-hmm.

I support your local swan lump. However, that, however you do that in your community, make sure you support your local swan love and in most somewhat sincerity I love you guys and I'm so glad that we got to this point. This is a very very impressive and I and I'm happy we're here Thank you for having me Aaron I did mention this over dinner ice when we had top is in Kalamazoo I did say I have two ideas for podcast one

is a podcast about riddles with jpc the other one was a podcast with bill bryson and that was going to be about the expansive universe and that was going to be called to better by forever i've said to put our hundred times hundred one

no i don't think you start the next episode well let's pretend I did! Goodbye forever! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,