Hey Riddle Riddle - #102: We're Buying the Knicks

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

Good morning, Riddlers! This week Erin is Old Man Puzzles so we’re getting some excellent listener submitted riddles! We ask some important questions like: Are we ruining Hollywood? Who was famous in the 1940s? Are we hurting our future children? There is also a discussion about an Entourage remake and a new (and improved) Mt. Rushmore! We love #WiddleWednesday!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Hey, James. Yeah. Yes, I'm a wake. Hey, who's the new girl? Oh, wow. I didn't notice. Who's wearing all brown corduroy? Yeah, I'm a wake. I'm a wake. I'm a wake. I'm a wake.

I'm a wake. Hey, James. Yeah. James. Yes, I'm a wake. Hey, who's the new girl? Oh, wow. I didn't notice. she's wearing all brown

corduroy Yeah, shoes and hair. I love how awkward she is in her confidence. Oh, yeah Let's see if she wants to sit her on lunch table. Hey new girl. Hey new girl Me no, Aaron the new Aaron what are you doing? She walked away. Aaron, well we lost her. Guys, could I come back to the lunch?

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Yesterday. Fine. You smell like fresh rice. I know. I know. I'm sorry for what I did yesterday.

I'm not doing it. Okay. I'm sorry. And now the pludging- And now the hyper- now the, the hyper specific to our friendship, Pledge of Allegiance, the Lunch Table Pledge of Allegiance. Hand over our farts.

All right, okay. Hand over our farts. Okay, I put, I actually did it. Yeah, we all actually did it. All right, whenever. I pledge allegiance to these losers and I promise to tease them forever. And anything they say, I won't agree with, I'll work in my own bits. I'm the funny one.

Everyone else needs me to fix their scenes. Are we all due to pledge? It's April the Riddles. I'm Chibolay Adolfify. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keith. And this is an improvised podcast where the three Chicago Improvisor comedian hosts do riddles to help you feel like fun is happening. It's not. It's not. That is the mission statement of the show. We're miserable with excited tones. We're miserable with excited tones.

We're miserable with excited tones. Splenda is to sugar as Hey Rital Rital is to comedy. And am I wrong? That's underneath your shirt. It's a fine replacement to comedy. And 15 years later, you realize it gave you cancer. You guys, by the way, do you guys worry about that? Like, cell phone, the whole like cell phones by your ears,

Bluetooth thing, or your ears, like the cancer thing? Even the other day I was microwaving something and I like jumped because I realized I was like, you know, 20 inches from it and I like walked across the kitchen. So I'm always aware of that, but it's also like, it's all bad. With microwaves, like someone the other day was like, I can't remember where I heard this,

or who was talking to you, but someone was like, with microwaves, they've been around for so long that surely we would know if they made you sick. And I was thinking, yeah, but only if they studied it, just because it's been around for a long time, doesn't mean anyone was doing the science with the clipboard and like. cocaine's been around for a long time, doesn't mean anyone was like doing the science with the clipboard and like cocaine's been around since 1574. I was like, here's my secret.

I'm always worried. Although I do remember a few times in high school or like college, I would have a laptop on my lap in bed while I was like doing work. And just like every 20 minutes, be like, my kids are going to be weird. I'm doing work. And just like every 20 minutes be like, my kids are gonna be weird. I am doing some stuff to my eggs. I'm gonna like, lay stuff outside with me and just like felt how hot it gets on my lap. And I'm like, something must be doing bad to me.

But I guess that's kind of, I guess that's kind of the modern world, right? Like everything is kind of probably doing bad to you. Well, I also should say, I don't know how many people own this. I feel like it was very popular. Do anybody have a Motorola Razer? I did. Yeah. Apparently, if you bought those, you die after 21 years. To the day. It's like a ring situation. Okay. I have to make a phone call. Yeah. Can I talk to you? You know how I said, signing with a carrier, you

had to make a deal with the devil? Yeah don't know, maybe I've had different care providers. He comes to collect, yeah. I had one of those razors and I was in high school. I was walking my dog and it was one of the most memorable phone drops of my entire life because I pulled the razor out of my pocket because it was ringing and I flipped it open to answer it. And as that happened, it flipped out of my hands.

I, and I have a dog leash in one hand. So one handed, I caught it, dropped it again, caught it, dropped it again. Each time I'm catching it, getting progressively lower, caught it a third time, dropped it again, so close to the ground, it fell to the ground, shattered. Like, no! Flinted half, but I had caught it three fucking times,

but it was that thing where I was like, I was hot outside, my hands were slippery, and I was like still trying to catch it, even though I already had it, so it was like slipping, slipping, slipping, and I was like, God damn it. Like, I look like an idiot. That's brutal.

Whatever universal figures in charge gave me four fucking chances, I like, let him have it. He doesn't need a broken phone. It's expensive, he's in high school, like he's in Indianapolis, give him three catches. Let's're like, let him have it. He doesn't need a broken phone. It's expensive. He's in high school. He's in Indianapolis. Give him three catches. Let's not, he won't hold it.

He's not. I haven't have to go big. His parents are a new smartphone. Like a fucking asshole. I love the idea of God looking down whatever you believe and looking down on you. And then you boggling at three times and then him making like a cut to the neck motion to whatever guardian angels looking over you.

I just hear, it just got, you know, kind of like slightly off mic just going, hell, mark him for hell. He's hell now. I don't care, I don't care. Gabriel, I don't care. He goes to hell. He's hell now is the funniest thing

that could be the Bible. He's hell now. That you think Gabriel is in your corner. Gabriel's just like, Oh wait, Gabriel's just like, God, come on, it's like, well, famously, he blows, yeah. Yeah. Just like James. Well, Aaron, you're our Gabriel or Gabriel for this episode.

You're old guardian angel puzzies. Um, yeah, I saw JPC in person for the first time this week. That's right. He was real. I got JBC in person for the first time this week. And I forgot that he was real. I got so excited. I was like, that's right, we saw each other in a very sad thing. Yeah, but I at least saw you. I was like, oh, I really have not seen this person

in person for a while. What was the sad thing? Was it like a AMC or something? I don't know. I don't know if you've heard, but I owe the theater closed. Oh, you guys picked up the world news stuff. We went to the, yeah, to get our world news. I told them when I was there, so I left my black suit at world news and my black shoes.

It was just easier to leave it at the theater because I was there every week and, you know, I'm not gonna lug all that stuff home with me every week. And I was like, after I owe closed, I probably would have forgotten about that black suit and shoes until two years later when I needed them to go to a funeral or something. But I was like, I put it off until the next day, opened my closet, and be like, oh, that's just gone. It's been gone. And then I would have to scramble to put an outfit together for a funeral. And I'm so glad that I'm not in that situation. I'm gonna go to a funeral looking like a guy who has a suit that smells awful. I had that suit that you guys picked up for me. I'm just gonna burn because I bought in 2008 when Jason asked me to join the show full time instead of

just play the second acts. He was like, you own a suit right? I go, yeah, I had to go to a black suit, right? I go, yeah, of course. And then that night I went out and bought a suit at Target. And I've used that same suit for 12 years. And it's got like a hole in the knee from where I toured open doing doing a bit on the floor and it's bad. So I'm just gonna toss it out. That made me realize how jacked up all the guys clothes in world newswear.

Everyone was like, I haven't bought a new white shirt in 12 years. Never watched it once. I was like, What are you doing? I think I'm comedy. Like anytime somebody saw me pre or post show, they're always like, ooh la la a suit. Like what a dapper guy.

And I'm like, if you look closely, there's like, there's like aphids crawling into my mouth. That's the best thing. That's the best thing you ever do. There's soil in the butt. Is that no one saw you close up. Like people see you like 10 feet away on the stage. So it's like, yeah.

You can get by with like an ill-fitting dirty suit because no one can really see. I set it before and I'll say it again. From 100 yards, I'm fucking gorgeous. I also a couple times when I would bring the vodka spray because that helps like in between dry clean stuff. That's mommy-duer comedy. Yeah.

No, but. Two for my skirt, one for me, two for my skirt, one for me. If anyone's ever worked on a costume crew in theater, you like spray like wool stuff with vodka so you don't have to keep washing it. And it disinfects it and get rid of the smell. I would sometimes do a little spray by smelling all your suits. You'd be like, this is an hurting anyone. It got to the point and this was true for pretty much everyone in the cast where instead of washing your shirt, your shirt would just get so bad that you'd throw it away and then walk to like one of the three stores within two blocks and just buy a new one for $20 before the show. And it worked almost exclusively except one time Rob White who did that show. He bought a shirt.

It was like a French-colored shirt that didn't have it. It didn't have a collar. Everybody gave him, he just bought it and brought it. Everyone gave him so much shit for that shirt. He tried to like, like, quite at least sneak on stage and we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. He got eviscerated for the collar of his shirt

being a little weird. See, that's why you just wear the dirty shirt because at least you at least you're safe if you know if people though But I'm gonna miss doing world news with you that us laughing in the green room of that show is I feel like why we wanted to do this podcast in the first place Absolutely, and I say this with 100% certainty we will do world news together again every Saturday night in hell. Would we die? Would we surely go to hell? We will be doing that show.

Well, of course, you know, hell is other riddles. So let's go ahead and get into some appetizers or some main courses. Yeah, I'm hungry for riddles, Aaron. So feed baby. Okay, weirdos. Well, you're a laptop tummy children? Oh, I'm out. Ew. Ew. All right, hold on. I'm sorry. No, no, before we start, I got to see a scene. This is a scene from the failed television show, laptop tummy children. Uh, it's like a teletubbies type show. Uh, Aaron and Ad Adel, you are gonna be the laptop tummy children. Oh, hey, Sissy.

Yes? I forgot to study for my test tomorrow. Let me open up my tummy. You know, I can help you, Stenny, because I live on your back. I'm just a part of you. Can we cut? Can we cut?

No. Action again! We can't go away! We can't go away! I can't, she, she, last night, she wouldn't get off my back. She came home with me. I had to sleep with her on my neck. And I-

I don't think she's mad that I think, where did she, can I, I'm not gonna drop. How did she audition? Don't drop! Action did she? Can I, I'm gonna drop, how did she audition? Don't drop. Action again. I can't, I'm there, why don't you back? I want a milkshake. I hear what a milkshake? Drink a milkshake so I can taste it.

That's not how it works. I'm, what did you just eat? Action. See. Let's prove. Let's prove. What did you just eat? Action! See. That's perfect. I don't really call your character milkshake. A director with no control over his set.

I can't stop it. You have to keep going. Nice job, milkshake. Nice job, milkshake. Aaron, your milkshake brings all the folks to the podcast. Are we ready? I'm going to start with some listener-submitted stuff. This is from Amy Wong. Thank you, Amy.

This is amazing. Here are some original riddles I wrote, especially for you three. These are what I can call hominem riddles, hominem riddles. So each line of the riddle describes a different definition of the one word answer. For example, winter spring summer and fall, do this for a tasty meatball. Season. Yes.

Wow, condiments. Condiments. I remember what condiments are now. That's what Momo says, right? Yeah, hamenenem nem nem. The season, the year and all, you need to season meatball one cooking. That's what Mama says, right? Yeah, hamaninimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimim No, no points. Thank Amy's from England Which is a blast oh? I'm across the pond Oh, name me. I'm from England. What do we fall, master Bruce? I'm from England. I'm a firm. I'm from Goritchie England Goi Richie England is beautiful

The story England went got and I'm run weasley you get Also Amy gave me permission to use her phone name. So thank you Amy. Thank you Amy Wong and Amy Congratulations to you. I now give you permission to use my full name so You Amy Wong things everything Julie Neumar a lot of people call me JPC a lot of people call me JAPES Amy you have permission to use my full name JAPES PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP Amy you have permission to use my full name Juppes peeps a lot of keep people up with juppes

That's my favorite share song A lot of people I want to get in there and say juppes there is juppes All right, yes a gambler sweep or lottery an indoor swim not like or nor. A gentleman's game for you and me. I need a little pose at the end as if that did fucking anything. It worked for me. A gambler sweep or lottery. An indoor swim, not Lake Norse. A gentleman's game for you and me.

Aaron, I would like to solve the puzzle and I would like to say pool. Permission granted and correct. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's right. Is that the pool you win? You win the, is that what it's called the pot? Right.

We call that the pot and a gambler's way. You pull your resources and then you win the pot. Yeah. That's right. You know what you're playing poker and you just lead across the table and say, Hey, Eddie, why don't we two team up? You're, you're good at bluffing, right? I'm bad.

Let's team up. Let's pull our resources. All right, great. I want to see you see. Aaron and Adel, you are both going into an underground mafia owned high stakes poker game. You're meeting outside the poker game and you're going to agree to team up to win the poker game.

Hey, listen, you're here for the game? Yeah. I don't know you, but we should, I should, I don't know, team up, right? I'm Donnie. I'm, oh, I'm also Donnie. Oh, okay. Um, or wait, what's your last name? On three, one, two, three, wall, bro.

Wash our brothers. Oh, I'm Donnie, wall, bro. I said, yeah. Wash a birthday? Yeah. So listen, here's what we're gonna do. Anytime I have a flush. Excuse me, there's a cheddar with its lights on for a donny washer braces. I don't know anything about Star Wars a

Jetta with its okay. I don't know Star Wars. Thank you. I haven't seen anyone's listen So anytime there's Well, you actually you know a little bit about it because you knew that was a Star Wars reference I don't know what a jetta is, okay? I know they have their lights. I know they have their light knives. Okay. Just so you don't know something about something that you recognize, it's sort of like.

I'm just saying I don't know what a Jetta does. I know it's occupations. So you take the cards and I put them up my, what are you saying? Well, let me hear that out. Okay, we put our cards together. We put them up my butt. I take off.

In my Jedi. Okay, again,. This is a Jedi these lights are really on Uh, I could not I got a stress that these these different on and really on do you mean the do you mean the brights are on? They look hot. I don't understand. Who's that? Wait, oh shit. Are you wired? This guy's a cop. He's wired. I don't understand. Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. Fuck wrong gun, my son's been in my car. Oh no, he's got his big water gun tag. Hey, Google, in the scene.

Oh, okay, Google. Oh, good. OK. Let's get more of these Amy Wong originals. Yes. What the hell was that scene? Next thing. Something I have, or something I own a

carved tunnel of ore and stone. Step on me, you'll be over-thrown. Seeing I mean Guess guess I would like to say I would the answer is ladder. No, what I would like to say a second guess. Okay second guess. The answer is ladder. No. What? I would like to take a second guess. I would like to take a second guess. Okay, second guess. The answer is mine. Yes.

Yes. I was just, I was just, I said ladder because the ladder is mine. So. Okay. Yeah. Remember when, what was it? Fighting Nemo came out and all the rage

was those nasty little seagulls. Yeah, Adolacy, do I remember when I was two years old? Fuck you. I recently rewatched Finding Nemo. Did I hold up? Yeah, it's actually like pretty solid. I would admit. Did you watch Searching Dory or Dory's Searching Dory?

We didn't watch Finding Dory. You've combined documentary searching for Sugarman and the Disney classic Finding Dory's searching Dory. You've combined documentary searching for Sugarman and the Disney classic Finding Dory. A Finding Doryster? Uh, I never watched Finding Dory. So no one's seen Finding Dory. I thought it was new. I thought it was new.

Is it good? It's, to me, I'm like a bad Pixar movie is still a really good movie. So I thought it was great, but I think it was, I think it was pan pretty hard, I believe. But it was also, it was very successful. But I thought it was worth watching for sure. Yeah, one of those movies, it's like, yeah, this did not do well.

It did make all of its money back times a million, but it didn't do well. Oh yeah, it's, there was something the other day where they're like, it made seven, seven hundred eighty million internationally. So they won't be making a sequel and I was like, what's going on? As I'm like eating rice pudding and like my shoes are boxes. What are you? Country has a problem. Our country has a problem.

As a part, how do you feel? How do you feel about like about those mega blockbusters? Who's like, because basically the way that those movies are created now is all algorithm and it's basically just to like sell as many action scenes internationally as like humanly possible to make money versus like having any like kind of artistic drive to make a movie that tells like a compelling story

or something like that. Like something that's not designed in every way to be a box office success. I feel like I'm okay with both because I think both are needed, where it's like I think studios need to make that money and then be like now we can do our little pet project or make this sort of more avant-garde film or something.

So I'm happy that both are out in the world and I also like just popcorn flicks sometimes, but I think it's sad that there's movies making $800 million that are considered a flop. So. Yeah. I think for me, it's like, I love the popcorn movies. Like I saw every one of the Marvel movies,

so I, you know, obviously I gave them my money, but to a certain degree, it's, I'm also kind of bummed out by like, like I know in the moment it makes me feel good to like go and see the new superhero movie, but I wonder if me having that impulse is like 20 years from now going to have led to like the desolution of all cinema.

Like all cinema is only that now because that's what makes money. And even though I was still interested in this other stuff, it just didn't, it got pushed out. The advertisers weren't there. So I wonder sometimes if it's kind of like how I just continue to live my life even though I know that the world is warming up by degrees. But I'm like, what can I do to stop it? So it's that except for movies.

Yeah, I feel like if something is an Oscar bait or like one of those popcorn flakes, it's not even coming out in theaters anymore. But I think maybe people will like miss it and want to go back to the event of like seeing something that isn't nest like an original movie that isn't necessarily like that. But I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don that, but I don't know. Everything feels so less. As long as we get movies like her coming along, I'm going to be Jeff. I love that movie. Let's, I want to see a scene. Sure. JAPES, you are a young hot shot Hollywood director. You've made a few indie films that have done well. You've earned some prizes and whatnot.

Aaron, you are a big studio exec and JAP James, you are making a pitch for the perfect movie to make the most amount of money, and this is sort of like money ball. Like you know the exact ingredients to make sure it's the number one movie of all time. Matthew, would you add us a couple of coffees please? Yes, right away. Thank you.

Cool, I'd love a couple coffees. So, they said we're in there. So, did you say a couple of coffees or couple coffees? A couple coffees for me. Great, four coffees. So did you say couple of coffees or couple coffees? A couple coffees for me. Great. And I have four. So six coffees coming up. Yes please. A couple colloquially. I'll have three coffees for myself. Seven coffees all day. So I know I'm coming off of a couple of indeed darlings that have done very well. I personally am very proud of my work on Dane Crook, behind the scenes in the life of the downfall of Dane Crook.

I'll admit the title was long, but it did well. And so now I'm really hoping to sink my teeth into something, you know, triple A, big budget, the kind of movie that I can really get excited about. It's America. It's a very best idea. So, you know, and don't make this up as you go along we'll not I will not uh what so your

folder was in the lobby let me hand it to you so you can read what you have great thank you so much where any of the pages in this are just the folder no it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it got the folder all I need so what are the biggest blockbuster movies in in the past 20 years you got Lord of the Rings, you got Transformers, you got all the Marvel movies. Why are they so successful? Because they use source material, but source material also costs money. So what if we had something that was just adjacent to source material, but not actually the source material, and what's the greatest source material of all time? The Bible. So what am I gonna do? I'm just gonna call it, I'm gonna drop the B,

and I'm gonna call it the bio. And what it is, is it- You're gonna drop the B? I'm gonna drop the middle B of Bible, call it the bio. And it's kind of like a misfrizzle type of thing, magic's plus, where you're going inside of the body to learn about the holy trinity of, you know, God. So.

Okay. Okay, I love it. Can I just throw out some names? God. So. OK. I love it. I love it. Can I just throw out some names? Sure. Jason state them. OK. Some more? Let's see.

Who else do I love to see in the big screen? Helicopters. OK. OK. Let's see. What else do I love? You said some names. I thought they were brave.

Can we get Abigail Breslin to go back in time and be a young girl again? Because remember when she was like eight in movies, everyone was like, she's so cute and talented? I think that we can get some of that, uh, deniro, uh, age makeup and age her down. We age deniro down like 50 years. So I think we can make her a little infant again if we truly wanted to. That was just a safer and better time for America, like the little Miss Sunshine's and the signs of it. Sure, so I love it.

So we've got a tiny baby Abigail Brezler, living inside someone's body, we got Statham Plank God. I didn't say that. Hellocopters, helicopters, smaller test ins, I love this thing. I think I can get it made. All I'm gonna need is 50.

Okay, can I just stop you right there? I only have a billion dollars to give you. And my assistant was like, why don't you just like solve World Hunger and like help people? And I'm like, why don't I make a movie with Jason Statham as God? First of all, you couldn't solve World Hunger

for a billion dollars. It would take something more like $11 billion to solve it every year. I have that. Every day Jeff Bezos decides not to do. But okay, I was gonna ask for 50 billion. You only have a billion to give me. I guess I'll take it. I guess I'll take the billion, but I gotta say, I'm going to waste most of it. And 10 years from now, some very bad things are coming out about me.

Okay, perfect. Next one. Oh, real quick. Do you guys remember when Beowulf got made? Wasn't that wild? Oh my god. When they made like a Beowulf with Angelina Jolie and Ray Winstress. Yes. And they're like, uh, uh, everyone, pretty good.

And we're like, nobody wants the... I, the John Carpenter of Mars or whatever. Like, I love it when the studio takes big swings and each shit. It's like, it restores my faith in humanity. When humanity will say like, we will not be sold this bucket of garbage. We will not watch this at the movies. But then of course, you know,

I bet you looked up any of those flops. They like go international and they make all the money. Sure, sure. All right, here we go. You need me, you need me to lock your door. A jagged flash with a thunderous roar I ran so fast. I am here no more and Run so fast time here no more you need me to unlock your door

That would be a key or a lock a jagged flash with a thunderous roar. Oh jagged a little flash lance more set Jagged a little flash the follow up to jagged little pill that did okay, like it and I Do remind you But I'm happy. I'm here, but I'm not That's a pretty good impression, but I'm lonely baby. Did you, baby. Did you do, sorry to derail us, for SNL, did you do impressions? I did Kate Middleton impression. That was a good one impression.

I think you showed me that. Wait, isn't she on SNL? Yeah. Kate Middleton? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was so funny. I just meant to say your last more set was spot on.

Maybe I should do that. You need to open a door, something about the flash and something about something. The jagged a little, that's lightning, right? That's lightning. A lightning. Rod? A lightning.

Lightning. The way you love me is frying. Bolt, bolt. Yeah. Nice one. An indoor breeze that makes you shake, a military call for the country's sake. A writer's attempt spot their mistake. An indoor breeze that makes you shake.

A chill, a gust. It's very in here, so I've chipped on my... Oh, a cub. It's very common here, so I put on my... An indoor... A scar. A military's call for the country's sake might be... So, a military's call for the country's sake, so the military calls... Pura!

Or a rider's... Or a rider's attempt. A rider's first attempt. Draft! Oh, draft. That draft. I would like to see a scene. I bet this is fucking wood.

JPC, you're a guy at a high school in like 1940 something who's gone into the high school to draft some students. And you're pitching Adel on why he should be in the Army during World War II. You there, Skin and Bones, Skin and Buckets. Come right over here. Yeah, well yeah, I'm not gonna choose. My name is Jimmy Skin and Buckets. Your name is Jimmy Skin and Buckets. That's gross. I will give you a new name in the Army. How would you like to join the Army Sun and really go get those nazis? No thanks. I have a band.

I'm sorry you have a band? Yeah. It's 1942. Yeah? What's your band? Oh, they're called the mamas and the poppers. OK, it's me. It's too much to send.

It's me. I love the idea of what kind of music do they play. Remember, it's 1942, so. Yeah, well, it's 1940-something, but, um... Sure. We're in California, right, Sacramento, so I figured it's a sort of like... ...dry sort of psychedelic... ...rung war, 15 years since then, run around, come here, hurry up, come on. Can I sing some lyrics?

Hold on, hold on. Mrs. Applegienes, this is not your history class, okay? So please, I- If I look back to teaching the Andrew sisters, they're over here, singing with the harmonies. Whoa, you know- You know Andrew Bird and Andrew Bird, the Andrew sisters?

We are way too early for that. Look, boy, howdy. Do I want to get you into the army? I want to get you on a ship, and I want you to send you overseas, do I want to get you into the army? I want to get you on a ship and I want you to send you overseas or I want to send you, you know overseas Either way you go you can go to the west or you can go to the east you're going over a sea. That's why I want to send you boy Either way, I'll be leaving on a jet plane Mrs. Appletines what? Hold on hold on now. I got a, I got a stick in suspicion.

Are you another one of these damn Trim Travellers that is coming back in time to try to stop the results of World War II? No, I'm not a Trim Traveller, but I am a Time Traveller. Well, what I said is what I said. So you get one free pass, you use your ticket to war, good luck to your son. And also to you. Here's your ticket to war. I luck to you son. And I'll look to you. Here's your ticket to war. I'd like to exchange this ticket.

You got a ticket to war. Butternut and zucchini are two of these. A fast-racket game which makes you wheeze. Another word for crush or squeeze. Squash. Little squash. What's in a British PB&J? Do you see these cars in my way?

If you're in this, it's a bad day. A British PB&J is one part's piss-nicity, two parts bumble-cock, and three parts jelly. Well, yeah, it just means names. It brings it with a jam. Because jelly don't shake like that. So you use, what's in a British PBJ? It's jam.

The answer is jam. It was jam. Yeah. I'm sure. Yes, I'm sure, Eric. Are you positive? I guess so. We got a space, jam.

No, it is jam. Oh, well then I was right. It's true. Should we go a little break? Yeah, it was my reward. I would like to take my break and I would like to make my snack and I would like to make my British PB and jam. Well, we'll go to break after we hear 15 seconds of Aaron singing her Pearl Jam original. Aaron. How does it go? You tell us. you do it first in the night. Yeah, okay? We'll take a break after we hear 15 seconds of JPC's original pro jam song Butter on the bread and put them jamming the little butter bread Okay, I could get I know him Well now I want to do it no break we'll be right back Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm pranking Adel and I'm setting up a website to prank him.

I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adel. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, it engaged with your audience, and so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank GPC, and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like

Online store like it set up on my website to sell product. Did you know that with square space? You can have custom merch you can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing. Nothing.

I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New ease, again, to you. And I'm going to use Analytics. Use Insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website, the Prank site tool. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. We're in the Squarespace. We're in the Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality

of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron, Aaron, can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help?

Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear, Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and

suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire

to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the Hope you get home. Bye. Am home.

Who are we? I clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Mm-hmm. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.

I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Click, click, click. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million.

Oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love Rockett. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockettmoney.com slash riddle.

That's rockettmoney.com slash riddle. Rockettmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website like I love you ruggit money like like clink clink and we're back now all back on the pocket Chinese song for me. I don't think it hurt.

Pearl Jam song in 15 years. I don't look like the jet. I don't think I've heard a full Pearl Jam song. I don't think you're a new album. Really? Yeah. Amen. That's a band.

Totally, I just didn't, it totally missed every single opportunity it had to infect me. Like that band never reached my ears. I mean, I missed that bullshit. Don't know why, but I love you some sound guard. I think I legit was maybe too young for whatever, what style of music is that?

Grunge? It's grunge. Yeah, I guess I was a little too young, I think, for grunge and a little too midwestern. Jace, where were you and Aaron, where were you when Kurt Cobain was murdered? I could not tell you what year that was. Was that in the 90s?

94, 94, 95. I don't know. It's weird, because I was technically a child of the 90s, but I was born in 88, so I was what, six or seven when Kurt Cobain died, so how would I know anything about Kurt Cobain at six or seven? Wait, it must have been at least 96, because I was a freshman in high school in 96.

I remember, I remember I was in high school when he died because somebody had to leave classes, they're crying so hard. Really? Yeah. So it must have been, it must have been after 96. It was a teacher.

Well, it's our Grunge teacher. His name was Michael Kabein. We can't do grudge clustered. I'm not really good for it. Whoa, he's taking off his flannel. What's happening? I guess just listen to what Lannis Moore said and we'll get through this. Guys, it was too late for me to sign up for any good electives. I got grunge. I had a juzz, but dear hair, yeah.

In New York, A's, Diamond, and... And the cross, I'd bear that you get to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. That's pretty good. Um, alright, so I'm just gonna tune you one more to this near-shoot me a riddle. Yes, please. Hey, Aaron, that's fine with me and I fucking love it.

Is this still Amy Wong? No Thank you Amy though. It was a lot of fun. Thank you Amy. Those are awesome. I remember Amy You can use my full name for one year jobs Pemble Keens and we will take care of the hospital right? Two more episodes really have to get through tonight She trust me. she is getting first class

trip to the hospital, but we are gonna do maybe two more hours of show. DPC said he'd get me a stuffed animal, but I don't try to bite the doctor. I get to forget any stuffed animal I want if I don't try to bite the doctor. Okay, you can try, you just can't bite. Remember folks, you can submit riddles to hrparkasadgmail.com

and we legally don't have to pay you if we solve them. Speaking of that, this is from Kenzie. Hi, I'm Kenzie. I'm listening to the 100th episode because I can't fall asleep and I heard your plea for riddles and remembered this one. I don't think this has been done, but it's possible no one will remember if it was, but I hope this is what I'm done. Kenzie, you got our fucking number dead on, because we do not remember if we've done it before. There are five sisters. Where? Behind you.

Oh, God. Suzy? Should we eat that cake? It's coloring. Suzy 2 is playing piano. Suzy 3 is playing checkers so far This is just the opening scene of pride and prejudice Suzy 4 is playing the piano piano for day. That is so true

They're just walking through like linens hanging outside and shickens like and seeing what all the sisters are doing Suzy 5 has consumption and she won't make it into act 3 Susie five has consumption and she won't make it into act three. Dude, Pride and Prejudice is such a good movie. I think I talked about this recently on the show, right? That I watched it because Tom from a succession place, Mr. Darcy, the Kira Knightly one. And now I can't really see, like watch it without thinking of Tom and being like, oh my God, how is he so sexy in this and so long?

It's a beautiful, yeah, Mr. Divesby. Divesby. without thinking of Tom and being like, oh my god, how is he so sexy in this and so lame and so fast. So did you fall? Yeah. Mr. Divesby. Divesby. All right, ready? There are five sisters. Susie is coloring. Susie 2 is playing piano.

Susie 3 is playing checker. Susie 4 is asleep. What is Susie 5 doing? There are five sisters. One is playing checkers. One is playing piano. Each more beautiful than the last. Well, I don't know that. That's a twist. What if they were more beautiful than the last and they were named Susie 1, 2, playing checkers, one is playing piano. Each more beautiful than the last. Well, I don't know that. That's a twist.

What if they were more beautiful than the last and they were named Suzy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5? Ranked because then it's like a ranked beauty order. That's fucked up of parents. Dance for mommy. Um, can you say, can you, say it again, what they're, you know, the whole thing. Suzy is coloring.

Suzy 2 is playing piano. Suzy 3 is playing checkers. Suzy 4 is asleep. Oh I know I got the answer. Then don't tell us wait for JPC to tell us. This is a good one I like this one. JPC do you know? The fifth sister is writing it all down. There is no fifth Suzie. The fifth Suzie is playing checkers because to play checkers, famously you need two people. All.

Fine, you got it, Adel. What do you want, a birthday cake? I don't. Yes, go for it. No, no. You don't want a birthday cake? No, I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to be good about calories.

I want a... Hold on, hold on. You can't gain weight from eating birthday cake. It's your birthday. You stupid. Wait, that's your birthday. That's your birthday cake. Birthday cake has no calories on your birthday.

That's right, 50 cents was right. Can you imagine going up to someone, I don't know why I just, I know why I thought of it, but this is a dumb thing. Can you imagine going up to someone and being like, I'm a rapper and they're like, what's your name? And you're like 50 cents. I'm not. I'm not.

It's just such a lame name, I'm not. If someone was a rapper, I don't think I'd be like, what's your name? I'd be like, okay. I believe you. I think what's your rap name would be one of my first questions for someone who volunteered the theater rapper. Okay, do you see what's your rap name would be one of my first questions for someone who volunteered that they were rapper Okay, do you see what's your rap name?

MC Dog whistle Oh no MC But I feel like at least make yourself like 50 bucks 100 grand yeah Millionaire I I think that also to a certain degree like we're running out of good rap names Just as rap progresses through the years.

So now we have like sound cloud rappers, whose names are just fucking nonsense. I'm excited to see what like the, you know, rap names look like in a hundred years from now. Well, I mean, there won't be a hundred years from now, obviously. Right. Right. Because of the world.

Would you like another riddle or are you full? One more please. I can eat all damn day. I'm not on some fucking sort of adult diet where I can't have a birthday cake every day my life. I'm trying to live a hundred. I'm on an adult diet. I can eat anything at all. That's pretty good. That's good. A waterside bar in restaurant offers free beer at sunset during the summer. At the end of the summer, the owner reviews his records and realizes that not even one of his many customers took him up on his special offer. Can you reread that?

Yep. A waterside bar in restaurant offers free beer at sunset during the summer. At the end of the summer, the owner reviews his records and realizes that not even one of his many customers took him up on his special offer. They don't serve beer. Yep, he's really confused. Do they close? Are there, is this summer, does the sunset like after they close or something?

Because of where they live? Nah. The sun sets like at a exact time, right? So if you don't buy the beer during that exact time, you don't get it for free. Or is it because, or is it because the sunset is deceptive because of the horizon because of the water. J.A.P. Stop asking questions. Aaron sold her voice to a octopus. Oh wait, she has a back. Was that on the right track?

No, I was wrong. Are you drinking a pool side? Oh no, a water side. Water side bar. A water slide? Wait, is the bar a water slide? And once you already get to the bottom and you can't get back up.

No, but I would not want to be on a water slide drunk. You could serve water sliders. Only way I'd want to be on a water slide. That's the only way I'd agree to it. Yeah. You guys, I saw it. Okay, I've been on TikTok a little bit because first of all, I have a couple things to say.

I love the teens these days. They're so smart and so funny. The teens, you're killing it. I have no notes. You're hurt. I do have one note for the teens. The last time that we did a live show and all of the K-pop teens ordered hundreds

of thousands of tickets to our live show and made it seem like we were selling out an arena and then we showed up And it was you know just the six fans of this show and it was a very depressing time Fuck you you K-pop. We owe Madison Square Garden $14 million To completely unrelated reasons. Yeah. Oh, yeah big big unrelated reasons Well, famously we bought the nicks I'm gonna be so excited What if we bought the nicks. I'm gonna be so excited. But if we bought the nicks, we bought the nicks.

We chaired them for nicks. It was a big one. We have nicks. We have nicks. We have all the teams that I don't know why that's the funny. I love the conversation of that city. I love the conversation of like, how's the podcast doing? Pretty good, you know, we, you know, during quarantine, we still have ads.

That's a big, big huge help. Head So we've been really nice. We bought the next Recently just bought the next What if we sold and this might get litigious and we we need to have a, this is a podcast meeting. This is an official, first ever official, H-M-R. On episode, on episode, on episode, first podcast meeting. Great. Of course, it's, everyone has equal share in the podcast, and we want you to, I will take minutes.

Okay. And, okay, so now I only have two minutes left. Thank you. And what if, what if, it all down. Thank you. What if we sold next jerseys and on the back, it was the number 69 and it just said riddles? We're trying to get sued, right? Right. Well, that's what I'm asking.

If we're trying to get sued, right? If we order these because you can do that at NBA.com, you can order customized jerseys. If we buy them, say it's $60 a pop, sure, and then we sell them for $61. I think it's more expensive. Hey, there are no bad ideas in brainstorming. I love this idea.

I love the idea of selling a Nick's jerseys. Can I ask something every time during meetings when I put out an idea? You always say there are no bad ideas in brainstorming, but you don't know that one every time. Just want to remind everyone that there are no bad ideas and brainstorming. Okay, okay.

And I'll bring that up every time you have an idea. Just to remind you. I love that we sell Nick's jerseys. I think that the price margin is a little low. Is there a way that we can maybe raise that so that we get a nickel back? And could we turn that also into a jersey, a Nick's jersey that says,

L-E-back? Mm. Could we? Okay, could we buy the band nickel back? And then sort of just like rebrand it from the ground up, like really clean house. What a band? Clean house, buy everyone a nickel back.

Aaron, here's what we do. And this is how to clean our meetings go. Aaron, we buy a nickel back. I love that, what we do. And this is how typically hard meetings go. Aaron, we buy Nickelback. I love that. That's brilliant. What if JPC says that idea because coming from a man it might be taking more seriously? Oh, you're right.

Jitch, can you say it? I don't remember what it was, but I will take full like that better. I like that. Sorry, Aaron, I like that better. We buy Nickelback, then we come out with a brand of beer called EveryBottle. Now, what's great about the beer brand EveryBottle

is that it ties in with their famous song, been down into the bottom of every bottle. Okay, end of meeting. I think we worked a lot out. Okay, so I just so during that meeting, by the way, that meeting was four minutes, I went to Patreon, set a new stretch goal. If we get 5,000 patrons, we will buy the next. Oh, well, at least put it a bit. We'll ask.

Honestly, we will go through all of the trouble it would be. We'll see as many e-mail. I will write an official e-mail from the HRR podcast gmail account to the New York Dix proposing that we buy them. I don't think we could afford three seats in the 200 level of Madison Square Garden. Honestly, we start low and we play hardball against us. Anyways, TikTok.

I saw TikTok. I watched 600 times, it made me cry laughing. And it was a girl talking about, and I didn't realize how universal it was, how before she went down a water side, the hot, like 14 year old boy when you're a little kid, telling you to go down was like the sexiest thing ever. She was like, the audio was like,

are you trying to seduce me? And she just as her goggles on, she's going down her water side. And I was like, I thought thing ever. He was like, the audio was like, are you trying to seduce me? And she just as her goggles on, she's going down her water slide. And I was like, I thought I was the only one who thought that every water slide boy was trying to hit on me when I was like 11 years old. And it's so specific. And I was like, I thought that was my secret truth

in my head and to have, I just watched that TikTok talk like 700 times. I did a horrible job explaining it. I, when I was a kid, I used to, my sister said he is like a year older than me and she would have like YM magazine. Docs. Fuck it, Docs is on his list.

And she lives here. She would always have YM or 17 magazine or whatever and I would sometimes read them, like just to be like, what's going on here? And there's always like the first page of like embarrassing stories. Like each of those magazines had a page of like embarrassing stories. I love those. Every single one was either I jumped into a pool or the ocean and my top came

off or I jumped into a pool or the ocean and my tampon came out. Oh, that's a really fascinating. There was never a single story that wasn't that. Adel, I would like to see a scene. Aaron and I are gonna be cool teens. This is a bunch of cool teens at a pool party. You are a not so cool teen, but you are trying to try a little hard. You just jumped into the pool

and instantly the water turned blood red. That's me. That's you. Yes. Great. Can't believe it. Oh no, this was close. Oh, geez. Oh, who I landed on my feet. That's you. Yes, great. Can't believe pool. Oh, this is a waiting pool. But this is cool, right?

Somebody record this. Somebody records this quick before that's out. This is a crime. Don't record this. Notice is a video. This is my, I'm gonna be viral. Seth, your grates are demolished. I just like, I'm not trying to be that like a mean person, but like you have ruined most

of my birthday parties by making them about you. So can you just chill? No, I have such a crush on you. My cannonball was my big moment to impress you. My cannonball was like the ending of a teen movie. I thought I was going to. The cannonball?

Yeah. You know, in the history of the world, Seth, when has anyone ever fallen in love with someone by watching them do a cannonball? Seth, you are, I hate to say it, a nerd. Because only a nerd would do a kid a ball and break both of his ankles in a pool. That's something a nerd would do. That's like playing D&D. Oh, I can someone call the ambulance.

That's on the same level as playing Magic the Gathering. Someone call that ambulance. We're too busy taking a selfie. You can't call 911 and take a selfie at the same time, Seth. At least give me in it. I'm the star attraction. I actually turned my phone on non-emergency mode, so the only thing it can't do is make emergency calls. What the fuck? It's a bad setting. Oh, hey, dude, I meant to ask you, do you want to go to an edge here in concert with me in a week? Hey, dude, I meant to ask you do you want to go to an edge here in concert with me in a week? Um is OAR a good band? No

See shut up Seth one wild game of poker and we haven't solved this riddle right no the water side are like circling it So does it have to do with the hours? Like the what hours sunset happen or something? I'm gonna give you clues. Oh wait, I'm so sorry, I think I have the answer. Please. Is this, cause I think there's two places on earth where the sun never sets. Is it one of those places?

The bars in Alaska, the owner never has to give away any beer because the sun never sets during the summer. Moons. Perfect. Wow. Are you ready? I'm absolutely ready to go to Alaska to experience that. A group of famous people hangs out together every day.

Those some have never even met each other. Many people have seen them together, but if asked, no one in the group would acknowledge that they've had a blast together. This one makes no sense, by the way. Vince Turtle, E, and Johnny Drama. This is Dr no sense, by the way. Vince Turtle E and Johnny Drama, this is on Tourage, baby. Oh yeah!

Did I tell you guys my on Tourage idea? No. So this is a dream that my friend Laurel's off pelton and I have that we want to save up all of our money. Well, now I'm buying the Nick, so it might not happen. But we want to save up all of our money. That's gonna make you money. In shot for shot, recreate the pilot of entourage,

but with women. And don't change anything. All the exact same acting choices, all the exact same costumes and sets, and everything else, everything stays the same, but it's just for ladies at the same age. Would you invest up to $500 in this? Would you, would you gender swap everything?

Cause I, or is it just the main people or the main four women or just all women Gender swap the main for plus the Jeremy Jeremy Piven. Yeah, okay, cool. So all those five are all women Mm-hmm. And then are all the women that they interact with in the show men as well? No, no, okay, so everything else is the same This is something that I've thought about for a while, but what I would love to see HBO do is make like entourage like a version of entourage, but make it for dudes. Oh my god.

Like make a show like entourage for dudes. Not like what they did with entourage, which is like not for dudes. Who do you think I would play? Johnny Rom com. Dude. Dude. Not like what they did with the entourage, which is like not for dudes. Who do you think I would play? Johnny Rom com. Johnny Rom com. Johnny Rom. I think that you would be,

I think that you would be a good Johnny drama. I think the character choice of the character of like a famous actor's like older brother who is also an actor is like so funny. Like that is so ripe for comedy. Isn't it based on Mark Wahlberg's experiences in Hollywood? So Johnny Drama is supposed to be Donnie Wahl.

Donnie, Donnie loser. Mm-hmm. I can't believe Donnie Wahlberg has come up twice in this episode. Are we okay? Finally. Yeah, I think I was gonna be him or Jeremy Pivittance character because he says the grossest worse things

I've ever heard and I'm like, Jeremy Pivitt. And just Jeremy Piv's character because he says the grossest worst things I've ever heard and I'm like Jeremy Piven. Yeah, and just yeah, he's just Jeremy Piven in general. The camera wasn't even they he didn't know the camera was rolling for most of that They were just having Jeremy Piven go off on his like Asian assistant They were like he doesn't even know he's on the show yet. Did you know that you could get there's like Cameo there's like that thing called cameo and now you can do a 10 minute zoom call with Jeremy Fiven for $10,000 or $50,000. Isn't he look super canceled the key's fucking canceled the sale right? I believe so. He's like a B7 like shitty. You guys I Sean started watching it at the beginning of quarantine and I remembered that

oh yeah is the end of the credits but I had no idea how the melody went. And so Sean, as a bit, to make himself laugh would have me guess until I got it right. And I never, it took me so long to get to the oh yeah, I'd be like oh yeah. Oh yeah. Like cool, I mean. Oh yeah. Hey, turtle, you look thirsty. Oh yeah.

Hey, how about some cool aid? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah You guys But if anyone wants to fund it, I honestly think HBO should give me money to do that by the way Oh, yeah, HBO should definitely need money. Yeah, HBO backs. And were we solving a riddle or were we solving the last one? The group of famous people hangs out together every day. So some have never even met each other.

Many people have seen them together, but if asked, no one in the group would acknowledge that they've had a blast together. It's gonna be one of those K-pop groups because I think they're like 50 people deep. Yeah, they're big. They cut people constantly like it sounds like hell to go through all the training they do Group of celebrity. Oh, Avengers No, nip group of celebrities all hang out together

We love them don't know each other have never met. Wait did it say celebrities specifically? Yeah, this one is bad So you might not get it wait a group of a group of celebrities. They didn't have a good time. Wait, did it say celebrity specifically? Yeah, this one is bad, so you might not get it. Wait, maybe hints. A group of celebrities that didn't have a good time, oceans 12. And 11. And there's that. What was that movie?

Was it something like a rest of development where they shot it without anyone in the room? Like, is it like a group of celebrities like doing an animated feature where they're all just like recording their dialogue? No, but that's a really smart, but that's not it. Well, at least I'm smart. That's actually all I fucking care about.

Is it like band-aid when they sing that song for charity? Because it was sad. That song about band-aids? This is a tough one. Aaron, can we get a slight little hint please? Yeah, I'm gonna give you clues. There are four men in the group. Oh, the Beatles.

The men are in the US. People look up to the men, literally. Oh, Mount Rushmore. Uh-huh. Uh, Mount Rushmore. That's the answer to this. And her? I woke up at a bed today for that.

It's like 8 p.m. JPC. Huh? I gotta go to this. And her? I woke up at a bed today for that. I was like 8 p.m. JPC. Huh? I gotta go to work. I wanna see you see Aaron, you are, oh boy, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna rail for this one. I can't wait. Not Rushmore in South Dakota or North Dakota? South Dakota.

South Dakota. And which one has January Jones? She's from North Dakota, right? Okay. So Aaron, you are a concerned South Dakotian. You are upset about Mount Arshmore and you want four new people to take the place of the current four people. And you have taken this all the way to,

I don't know what Bismarck is. They're Council Board and JAPS, you are representing. It's the Bismarck Council Board. Yeah board and JAPS you are representing. It's the Bismarck council board. Yeah, thank you so much. You nailed it. Here, yeah, here, yeah, the building of council board is now in session. Hi, excuse me, I am not from South Dakota,

but I do live here. So, so we all, and I have, I just, I think we should make some changes to that big old mountain. Okay, now we have a couple of big old mountains in South Dakota We have a crazy horse and we have no you know the one the four men. I think she's talking about face mountain You know my face mountain. Yeah, that's the that with the Roosevelt in Abraham Lincoln George Washington the other one And I have four suggested

Yeah, who's that? I've only seen there. I've only seen it written down. Oh, after you. Okay, I'm sorry. So, I have some suggestions of who you should put up there instead. Okay, well, we can easily swap out. So, we'll hear about these suggestions. Okay, number one, Michelle Kwan. She's my favorite figure skater who's ever been the Olympics. Number two, my son. Hold on, hold on, hold on. We can bring her back to the Olympics.

Okay, hold on, hold on. We can bring her back to the Olympics. Okay, hold on. We can bring her back to the Olympics. Okay, hold on. Hold on,. She's my favorite figure skater who's ever been the Olympics. Number two, my son. Hold on, hold on, hold on. We can put Michelle Kwan up there, but as a matter of trade off,

we also have to put a little farther back in the distance, Jeff Galulie. That has to go on there. No, don't forget, I started interrupt. Don't forget, I am also a South Dakotian and my proposal for Mount Rushmore was to replace the Mount Rushmore heads with Owen Wilson Jason Schwarzman the guy who places dad and Bill Murray. Okay, what kind of Western Anderson nonsense is this? Get out of here with that. That's a good suggestion. That's a good suggestion. Oh, are they?

You were saying the second person would be your son? Uh-huh, second person would be my son. Number three, your son, because I'm not crazy. I want things to be fair. Okay, that's fine. My son is, my son, as we all know, is Jeff Galuli, so he's already going to be up there. So we're halfway there. Number four, can you bring back the show Gola Gola Island or the Puzzle Place?

I used to enjoy those a lot as a kid. I'd like to see them again that has nothing to do with this. Okay, and you as you know as the chancellor of Bismarck I can't bring it back in a choose not to All right number four. Who do you think I'm gonna say? When you said hoody I all of us have thought you were gonna say in the blowfish So I will say that your number four pick is Darius Rucker. No burn it at Peters. See I'm go visit that What if tomorrow Trump just came out and was like Mount Rushmore. It's done. It's gonna be burn it up Peters

Michelle Kwan, my son, you're Who would be on your Mount Rushmore? My would be Michelle Kwan burn it up Peters. Let's see. I want to do another one a good one Who am I other two? My would be Michelle Kwan burning up Peters. Let's see. I want to do another one a good one. Who am I other two? Who are you? Mine would be George Saunders Tom Hardy Sissy Spasic and Amy Sideras. Oh Amy Sideras might be online. That's a good one.

Mine would be Eugene Debs a dog from the cartoon dog Mine would be Eugene Debs, Doug from the Cartoon Doug. Oh man, okay, ready? One more, riddle. What, are we good? Pound us another riddle, please. Late one evening, a young couple gets into a car. The man presses his foot to the floor, and the car accelerates through the darkness.

Until suddenly, it plunges hundreds of feet, flips over, and comes to arrest. The young couple get out of the car accelerates through the darkness until suddenly it plunges hundreds of feet, flips over and comes to a rest. The young couple get out of the car quickly, shaken, but unscathed. Shaken would not stirred. They are stumps. The young couple, people, they're working on the movie Deathproof, starring Kurt Ressel. I was gonna say, the two people are both in a fast and the furious movie where no one ever dies doing crazy as cards does They're not stunt they're not stunt coordinator or center avers nope It's not Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez. No, oh, I'll put them on my my my my my my rush more Just much my smart, but but they have to mush together into one face. I'm out much more Mount mushroom is you take four people and then you melt them down into one face. Hey, I think I'm putting Rihanna on mine.

Rihanna, shall I call? Are these people dreaming? No. So they're in a car, it plunges the guy steps on the floor. Are these people in a video game? Nope. Are these real people, human beings? Yes.

Okay, are they playing the hit PS1 game twisted metal nope twisted metal. I love that game What was that clown's name the clown was the best? JPC Thank you Aaron that's what it was I once played a jack box party pet game I think I can't remember what it was with some friends in Mariah and like every answer was like JP's JP's clown ass and it all they always won. I was like, I'm like, I said that funny. You see the Billy time. He's very funny with Brett Lyons. He puts the same four answers and he destroys but what are they? I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna ruin his fun. Yeah

Was can you read it one more time? I? Will okay late one evening a young couple gets into a car the man presses his foot to the floor and the car Um, was can you read it one more time? I will. Okay. Late one evening, a young couple gets into a car. The man presses his foot to the floor and the car accelerates through the darkness until it suddenly plunges hundreds of feet, flips over and comes to a rest. The young couple get out of the car quickly,

shaken but unscathed. So it doesn't even say he steps on the gas, it says he puts his foot on the floor. So does this thing not have a gas pedal? Ah, ah! No, or am I So does this thing not have a gas pedal? No, or am I wrong? It does not have a gas pedal. It does not have a gas pedal. So is this a plane?

No, this is a car. Oh, the man is JFK Jr. Why? Is this tron? Ooh. Yeah, the trun bikes flip over. It ain't. Oh, it's trun too.

Aaron, can we have a, can we have a little hint, just a squint of a hint? It's not the kind of card you're maybe thinking. Card again. And maybe it's more like, couples on vacation, the young man is not the driver. The couple is in Florida, and there and a surrounding about lots of people the cars Dan but speedboat cars just before getting the car the couple saw a mouse

Why she's before getting the car the couple saw a mouse Have I ever looked more smug is it a circus car? No, so the couple though oh, the couple is Stuart Little. Stuart Little. They probably got a photo of themselves. Oh, they're in Disney World. They're a face mountain. It's a small world after all. Yeah. It's still space mountain. I think actually here it's like the Guardians of the Galaxy Star Wars mountain. Air and there, there's a flaw in this riddle which is if you go through, it's a small withdrawal, you are absolutely shaken afterwards. Oh for a few different reasons. You're haunted.

Yeah. You know what? Ride has a cursed energy and that's a bad energy. Mr. Toad's wild ride. Splash Mountain. Splash Mountain's great. I thought I would love it. Again, having gone back, it's terrifying. Space Mountain is great thing with Splash Mountain is that it is way too wet and way too wild. And if you could, you would definitely want to plug that up. So in the spirit of that, Aaron, do you have anything

that you would like to plug? Ugh. So in the spirit of that, Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plug? That was great. Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram or Aaron, keep 2 on Twitter. And also I'll send you that TikTok of the water slide thing because I did a terrible job explaining it. Hell yeah. But yeah, follow me and thanks guys, love you, add on anything to plug. Yeah, I was recently on the JV Club, which is a podcast hosted by Janet Varny during her boys of summer run.

So that should be coming out soon if it's not out now. The JV Club, she is the absolute best, so please check that out and all her podcasts and projects. I was also on a podcast called the Perfect Package Podcast where I talked about conspiracy theories, so give that a listen as well. James, anything to play? So yeah, this episode is coming out fresh off of my 24 hour Twitch stream. It all went really well. I didn't go absolutely fucking crazy during it, and I played video games for 24 hours, but I'm going to play a lot more video games, so So if you wanna watch, come follow along for some fun.

It's twitch.tv slash shark barkman. Spend a lot of time over there on Twitch. I think I stream at least every weekday. So come check it out. And Aaron, I don't know if you've heard Alance Morse that just released a single today. It's very much about space in the universe. Do you have some of those works I just sent you?

Yeah, let's see. How can I... uh, uh, isn't it Jupiter? Don't you think? Bye forever! Case in telling to the editing I already heard it in the middle of the day Focal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeBora Foceted for hate, written, written That was a hitgun podcast That was a headgun podcast.