Hey Riddle Riddle - #103: Tux On Top. Diaper On Bottom.

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Hey Ridiots! Papa Log in the fireplace because Adal is Old Man Puzzles and we have some Hink Pinks, an Animal Parade and a few other surprise segments! I know you're asking yourself what's in it for me if I listen?? Well, we've got Tango lessons, breakfasts that bully you, A WimbleTon match and our own spin on having a wild night in Vegas! Sing it with us...'He was a GREAT BIG MOOSE!' #WiddleWednesdayWe ask that you consider donating to the to the Amy Janvier Memorial: https://www.gofundme.com/f/amy-janvier-memorial-charityStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, this is Edel and JPC and Aaron. We wanted to take a moment before the episode to dedicate today's show to Amy Janvier, who passed away on Wednesday, July 1st. I only knew Amy for a few months, but I can say with confidence that she brightened every room even the digital ones that she entered. Amy believed that ecology and entomology could save people in the planet through pollinator conservation and propagation, and her fiance Eric has set up a fund to memorialize her, if you can donate we're going to link the GoFundMe and the show notes. I personally just so saddened by this sudden loss, but I know that my life is forever brightened by having known Amy and countless others are the same. So now are silly comedy podcasts I hope you

enjoy. Nobody can explain. It's happened with the hot spit. That's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. It's a little more. Aaron.

Thrusters go. What? Japs, Japs dump fuel. Oh, I just took a big dump fuel. Aaron, toggle the wingspan. Okay, spaceship button. Okay. Japs bleep the blurps.

Oh, sorry, Aaron, make the Sundays. Okay, all right, well hold on, do you like bananas or? Whatever you want, that's a split. James, meet the fuckers. I a spaceship fucker, can you go hyper-mide drive? Our spaceship, we crashed. I'm out of our fire. I'm JPC, go for it.

I'm American. And this is hey, Rital Rital, a convoluted beginning to a easy premise. Easy, easy weeks. We are Kevin and Susie's. We are solving riddies and putties. If this is your first time, welcome. Grab a seat.

Pop a log in the fire. And what I mean by pop a log is that's what I call my dad, pop a log. And let's solve some riddies and putties. How's everybody doing so far? So far in this episode or in life? In life. I'm great. JBC, you are not looking like the freshest of daisies.

Tell us about your 24 hour livestream. Oh, well, it was canonically. It was over a week ago. A week ago, but just for purposes of discussion, I'll talk about it as if it just happened two days ago. I did this, I made a plan after my 24 hour Twitch livestream, which went very well. We raised over $10,000.

That's amazing, congratulations. For the Chicago Community Bond Fund, which is very awesome, I was blown away. Our goal was $2,000, so we beat it by like five times that. You said this is $10,000 for a Chicago community bonfire? I'm sorry. This is the Chicago community bonfire. This is a fund to get James Bond recast and reshot

as a Chicago accented guy. Hot dog. Shaken, not mustard. I don't have a martini with no ketchup on it No, it's probably becoming community bond fund is a bond fund actually help bail people out of Cook County jail as they're Waiting to pay their bond if it many cases they can't afford to pay their bond. So it's a great cause, but After the 24-hour stream, I was like, I wanna make sure the next day,

I like help get myself back into a normal sleep schedule. So I took a three hour nap, I got up and I did some stuff, then it took a two hour nap, then went to bed at the normal time, and I woke up today and I was like, I feel great, I feel normal. And then today at about five o'clock, I was like, I wanna go bed right now.

So I'm sure that right after, this should make for an interest to your recording and right afterwards, I will just go and fall asleep. And it's worth saying that somebody paid donated money for you to shave your facial hair in a way that they saw fit. So currently you look like the lead singer of Motorhead, I forget his name, but you look like the sweet, sweet ASUS spades.

And also, I paid, I donated $100. And my reward is that I get to choose what you wear for the next day Rital live show. That's true. So. My suggestion was like a $5,000 tux. And then make them get like a really fancy haircut and just make them look so fancy. Because that's not really your thing, JPC. You like cut off tees and backwards. It's 100% true. Right now I'm thinking tux on top, diaper on the bottom. Flip it. Flip it. Flip it. Fold it.

Fold it. Fold it. Fold it. So tux on bottom and a diaper on top. Yeah, it's exactly what I'm saying. Addle came on, Addle came on maybe 17 hours into me playing and then he was like,

Hey, how much did you get a cost for me to do this? I was like, I have $100, I'm so tired, you can make me do anything. And then Aaron texted me at like 4.30 a.m. and was like, hey, I was just watching the stream and saw you two were both on. And so I called Aaron and we had a secret mini episode of Hey, Real Rettle that lasted maybe 30 seconds. Well, I went on to watch and I was like, oh, this is so nice. I'll just follow sleep to them playing this game,

but because you were in my head, I had a horrible nightmare about the two of you. And I woke up and I was like, I gotta take that one. Also, like a fool in that livestream, I did not set stretch goals because I didn't know how much money we would raise. And we blew past the target like two and a half hours in. So I had to like come up with stretch goals on the fly. And something that someone suggested was for $5,000,

I should die my mustache bleach blonde. And so I ordered a bleaching kit and hopefully we'll be able to post some picks soon of me with a bleached blonde mustache. I can't wait for that. So it's a proper term die my mustache bleach blonde or it's a proper term to bleach my must-blonde. You're right. You could probably use bleach as a verb there. I will bleach my must-dash.

And then I will not be dying it any other color. Well, JBC dodged this question off air. So I'm going to ask it again. How much money do I have to pay him to bleach his hair and his must-dash and then dye both fire engine red? Technically, it's going to be $1,600 total because the first $800 is bleach his hair and his mustache and then dye both fire engine red. And he dodged the question. Technically, it's going to be $1,600 total because the first $800 is going to make a beef for me to drink a 1.5 ounce shot of my own urine. I'm going to need that just to get lubricated up with the dodged. So, $1,600 total.

We're going to get started here in just a second with some actual warmup riddles. But I will say, just mentally in the last 30 seconds I thought of two costumes. I might have you do one would be either with me or someone else Mm-hmm you would come out in a two-part horse costume And we'd probably pop a little police hat on that horse And then the other one was for me to have you dress up like like an Olympic figure skater like a Johnny Weir sort of like really intense bright outfit with I think that would look good. Yeah, but you have to be very fun

I would love to see me record a podcast as the back half of a horse though Just like honey a hole in the horses stomach and If it makes you feel any better, that's what I see when I look at you The forces ass I don't see you feel any better, that's what I see when I look at you. The frozen ones. A horses ass. I'm ready for some more, we'll add all are you good? Are you okay?

How's your life? I'm good. Yeah. I'm trying to think I had some sushi today. Life is good. Great. I can't remember a single thing else about the last two months. It airs, how are you?

I have no idea. The last two months. I have no idea. The last two months have been song number two and that they were an absolute blur. Let's get into some warm-up riddles. These are some of my favorite things to do, which are called hink pinks for anyone who does not know or as a refresher for our two co-host. Hink pinks are a Victoria secret brand. You can get little sweatsh? We're a Victoria's Secret brand. You can get little sweatshirt so they hang pink on them or like on your butt and a sweat pant.

Yeah. So we're all dressed as angels. This is gonna be a clue and the answer to this clue is going to be a two word answer that rhymes. So for example, a brain teaser about a brain teaser about a violin would be called a puzzle puzzle puzzle puzzle was a bear a brain or about a violin would be called a blank blank. This is another word for violin.

Yeah and here's where my musical knowledge is. Oh, okay. A lack of show. I don't know if this is a fiddle. Oh, riddle fiddle. Yes, it is a riddle fiddle. No, I don't think a fiddle is a fiddle of violin. I don't think a fiddle is a violin, right?

I think it's a close, the devil one down the board. Double one down the board. Before a soda steal, he was a violin. You play the violin, I race and I steel. He was in the body. So, technically, you can call it violin fettle. If you're eating some caramel popcorn with nuts, that is violin fettle. Yikes. Here we go to the next one. I was like, what is that noise? And it was my dog eating a receipt on the ground. Sorry about that.

Let's keep going. Fiddle, by the way, a fiddle in a violin are the same thing. Well, well, well. There's the same four-stringed instrument generally put it at the bow, strummed or plucked. So the devil had a golden violin? I think the fiddle is associated with like a Cajun bluegrass country type of music. and I think the violin

is for like nerd. Wow look at that. Here's You have one of those chowder. Flowder chowder. Flowder chowder. Hahaha. I can't. How do people leave it like people must be shocked about the dumb stuff that comes out of my mouth. Powder chowder. The answer is chowder powder.

Bingo bingo hotata. Flowder chowder. Can you believe it? Can you believe I've made it? I've lived this long. Hey, you're only a fifth of the way through. The next one is a meal with bad manners. A meal with bad manners.

Breakfast. Sinner dinner. Close. Lunch punch. Lunch punch. Lunch punch lunch punch Lunch punch Aaron who bullied you in the great school. I'm so sorry mostly everyone including myself Did I get any of those words right at all so far none of the words are correct a meal with bad manners And this is a very broad term. We don't have to be so specific as lunch or dinner much more broad term

We don't have to be so specific as lunch or dinner much more broad term. Um, a meal. Meal would be food. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. Food food. Root food.

Root food. I want to see. Oh, no. Oh, no. Flowder, chowder. Aaron, you are waking up in the morning and you come downstairs and your parents have made you a steaming hot plate of breakfast. You got some omelets and some pieces of bacon and whatnot.

And as you go to tuck into it, JAPS, you are the food and you're going to be a little cranky this morning. All right, and here we go. Oh boy, this again. Oh my god. Hey, darling, could you do us a favor and maybe brush your teeth before you? I'm good. Why would I brush my teeth before I eat? I'm gonna brush my teeth right after I eat.

Oh, she says, but I think the death protects too much. You're my bacon. Are you roasting a teenage girl right now? I'm roasted bacon, so yay. Better get used to it, sister. You know what? I'm gonna mix coffee and orange juice, and not brush my teeth, and then I'm gonna eat you.

Okay, I hope that you do. And maybe then you'll be meeting my cousin, Diarrhea. That's a recipe for a disaster. Bacon's cousin is diarrhea. Sure, we're all related. You don't tell me how to live, and don't tell me about my family. Oh, what if I don't eat you? Huh?

Okay. What if I throw you in the garbage? Oh sure, you want to be that kind of young lady who's just going to throw her food that your parents worked so hard for in the garbage. Okay, what if I put you in a healthy salad? Oh, yeah, we both know that's not gonna happen. Sing. That bacon was really mean.

That was pretty good, yeah. I was like, you see my scene. Oh, yes. Adal, you are this rich, fancy, old man, business man and you live in a mansion with your hill, on a hill with your one son. I live on a wife with my hill. And you're one son, and you are one of those really,

really long, fancy tables, and you're both trying to figure out what the heck you can talk about. J.B.C. you'll be playing his son. Gotcha. Finneas, my boy. How goes it? Oh, yes, how goes it? Yes father is well yes war is hell you're right war is hell how's business father biscuits are good they could use a little more gravy but the biscuits are

mostly good now tell me about schooling oh, I guess I don't know mechanically how cooling works, but I think cold water is pushed through pipes and I think that that helps cool down the turbines of the engine. Father, tell me, did you get the birthday present that I sent? Oh, I guess we can talk about your birth. Your mother was dilated. We called her a telephone because she was so dilated. It was 4.27 a.m. on a Tuesday brisk morning and you came out screaming and wailing. And of course, you had your own billi-cord wrapped around your wrist but not in a bad way but in a fun sort of like festival way. I love you. I don't know where we're going to find elephant glue at a time like this.

That's exactly everything I dreamt it would be. Thank you. Thank you. I sometimes think the scenes you two are just little gifts to me. Everything we do we do for Kiki. Let's just do let's just do a couple more of these. We might as well. We're here. Next one a disheartened feeling about classical dance. A disheartened feeling about classical dance, a disheartened feeling about classical dance. Bummer, strummer. Discouraging tango. Well, now I have to see a scene.

This will be a very short scene. Aaron, you are a discouraged tango instructor. You are teaching your class, but this is definitely like your exit. You're fed up, and you're using this but this is definitely like your exit, you're fed up and you're using this last class as sort of your platform to disparage tingo. As you know, I teach this couple's ballroom dancing class but recently I just went through a divorce. So it's a little bit tricky for me to teach you these dances, but I'm gonna give it the old college try

I stole a mannequin from Nordstrom Rack. I made a little mustache on his face and he's gonna be my new partner today We're gonna see how that works out. How about that? Okay, as long as we can learn the stuff from Mulan Rouge like you promised. Yes! My husband and I really just want to learn the stuff. Oh your husband and you. This is how you send. My husband. I have a husband.

I went to speech therapy for five years just so I could say husband. I really don't appreciate it. Oh my gosh. I have to hear the word husband one more time. I'm going to scream. Alright, you're going to put your left leg out. You're going to try not to think about the woman at the ice cream parlor that your husband left you for. Okay so far this is just a sad hokey pokey.

I'm sorry I think that's a hat on a hat friend. The hokey pokey is sad enough as it is. Same. Oh it sucks that your husband is standing on the local ice cream lady. A disheartened feeling about classical dance. Oh, God, we, uh, schmaltz, well, this will be our last one. Disheartened feeling about classical dance.

Disheartened, um, bummed, sad. It's probably easiest to start with the dance and then work your way backwards. Tango ballet. There you go. Ballet. Yeah. So you have one word. What rhymes with ballet? Ballet. Ballet. That's a bad day. That's way better than with the cards. I don't know. Pay, right, pay. I forget is disjunor, disjuly.

Oh, a dismay ballet. There you go, ballet dismay. Give yourselves a round of applause. That's some hink pinks. Are we ready to bring up a bucket full of actual riddles now? Aaron and I did clap and snap for each other, and it must have been the saddest snapping and flapping. I couldn't hear it. I was so glad that you had so glad you called it out.

Because I was like, oh, this feels sad and bad now. I didn't want to clap too hard into the mic, but then I can also see my audio file as it's processed and it was the tiniest little bumps for that. And I was like, oh boy. That was the real sad day, ballet, huh? Let's do it with the depressing amount of snaps and claps. Yeah, I'm ready for some riddles.

Me too. OK, let's go into some full course riddles. Here we go. This is called the Champions Blind Spot. At the dinner to celebrate the end of the Wimbledon Tennis Championship the men's singles winner turn to the man next to him and said there is something here Which you can see and all the other men can see but which I cannot see What was it?

His ass is on ass. You can't see your own ass. You can my own ass. You have to take others word for it when they give you an opinion of your own ass. And here's something I want to call myself out on. I always, and I know the correct term, but I always say Wimbledon, even though it's Wimbledon. It's a D, not a T, but I always, for whatever reason, I always say Wimbledon.

I don't know why. It's maybe because I don't care about tennis. I've never watched a single tennis match in my life. Wimbledon. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I don't care about tennis. I've never watched a single tennis match in my life. Wimbledon. Wimbledon. I don't think I've ever watched another tennis match in my life either. Well, I guess I did see what's that

West Anderson movie, Roll Ten of Bumps. So I did watch. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. His first, his medal. That is a, that's a good guess, but he could look down and probably see his unmetal. So why is it a good guess? I'm trying to be encouraging.

Did you hear what her breakfast said to her? The face of a winner. Aaron, that's good. Aaron, your dead on pretty much. The answer is every other competitor could see someone who had beaten them. That is. Every other competitor could see someone.

Just win with some grace. But yeah. I'd like to see a scene. Adel, JPC, you are in the middle of a game of tennis and Adel, you're just in the middle of a game of tennis and Adel you're just being a really sore winner you're up by a lot and you're just making a JPC feel worse great And Aaron I want you to make it cameo as a ball kid Okay Oh, ow, ow

Stop punching me sorry. I'll go back on my side of the net I just wanted to let you know. I'll fucking open your ass. Imagine it's about to start, okay? You know what it's about to start? Don't come over here and start hitting me. Well, I'm just trying to mentally psych you out. That's physically punching you.

You're trying to physically, if the judge saw that, you're lucky he's taken a little snickers break. Because he was getting a little angry. Why wait? Why should they wait? That's what he said. Have you been home yet or talked to your family? I'm sorry. Have you been home yet or talked to your family? No, I mean, not since a couple days ago when I left for Wimbledon. Funny that you don't see their faces in the crowd, huh?

No, they're at home. They're back in a... Where am I? Where is this, actually? Texas. 15 love What a Dell is play goddess out Yeah, I guess all her albums are about her age and then some sort of love A room. Yes, you might find that your family won't be here because I sent a little package a brown parcel to your house That was filled with nothing but bed bugs. So I'm afraid they won't be making it.

What? They won't get a comment. Now you've given them bed bugs? Yeah. It's just how I play. What is your problem? Okay, now for me to serve. Okay, that went right into the net.

Okay, fantastic. That's a, that's a, that's a, you see a lot of potential. I'm running fast, I'm running fast. I'm running fast. I'm running fast. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it. Good job, ball kid. Okay, now for another serve. Okay.

Here is a quacamole, this is a, um, Haasovicano with some sea salt and some mango inside. I'm not, I'm not, I'm just, I'm allergic. Oh, okay. Well, let me take back my serve and I will now do a tennis serve 45 love, okay, right into that again. Why don't we just go to my self? I like that I'm a sore winner and yet James want to let a single ball of mine back over that Here we go. This is the next riddle, this is called Early Morning in Las Vegas.

A gambler went to Las Vegas, he won on the roulette table, lost at Blackjack, and won at Poker. When he went to his bed in his hotel room, he carefully double locked his door. At 3am, he was awakened by the sound of someone banging and rattling on the door of his room. What did this person want and what did the gambler do? Can you read that again the list of what he won in Las Vegas? So a gambler went to Las Vegas, he won on the roulette wheel, he lost the black at blackjack, he won at poker, when he went to his bed in his hotel room he carefully double locked his door.

Then at 3am he was awakened by the sound of someone banging and rattling on the door of his room. What did the person want and what did the gambler do? Room service. This is something. You let them in and they change the sheets. Okay. Room service comes and changes the sheets.

No. Well, if you're nice enough to them, and you offer some of the food, they just brought you, then you can all hang out. Here's your burger and your fries and just keeping is what I meant. Is it the else that I could do for you? I want to see a scene. Hang out. JAPES you are at Universal Resorts and you're staying in a nice hotel there. Aaron you are the you are someone bringing some room service and you find that JPC is desperately trying to be a friend you

Okay, yeah right in here and then just any anywhere you want put it anywhere you want You want my favorite? Table floor bathroom wherever I've all eaten all your dealers choice. Oh Where would you like to see me my food? I? Don't I'm sorry. I don't want to presume that you are staying but you are invited to stay and watch me eat I mean it's the end of my shift, but I better go Well, at least put the food in the room first Honestly, but you you could still stay right just you know just to bring the food in the room that part of your shift is still good correct

It's just still good, correct? Yeah, okay, I'll put them back. Uh, hey, actually, maybe you can help me. I think the previous occupants of this room left $100.00. A hundred-dollar bill hidden somewhere in the room, but I can't find it for the life of me. Are you okay? Um, are you lonely and sad? Okay, are you trying to guess my name?

It's Greg. You were close. Anyway, hey, you know what we could smoke cigars I know where I'm supposed to do it in the hotel rooms anymore, but I brought a couple stogies. I I work here Okay, so I like okay, and I'm working pretty hard here to try to make a Fred and I I think we're both on Second Hawaiian shirt laid out I think we're both on duty. Why is there a second Hawaiian shirt laid out?

Then. Are you hoping that I would put this on? I don't know. If the game of Pictionary that I have planned for us goes the way that I think it will, you'll want to put it on. If that makes sense. I can also draw it for you. But only agree to this if you do one thing.

Okay, I'll do anything. You're the best man at my wedding. And by best man, I mean the groom. What's the best man at any wedding? Okay, I will accept your offer on one condition. Can none of my family come because they do not like me. It's a deal. Okay.

And now let's find out. 100 dollar bill. Aaron, I fucking love like, why would the bride not marry the best man there? Of course it would be the groom. And that should be the best man at my wedding. Yeah, I'm not stupid. That makes sense. That makes sense to me. Yes, the best man should be called the second best man.

Let's see. So we're still trying to solve this Las Vegas riddle. No way. Yes way. So he won at the real estate. He lost a blackjack. It's not housekeeping.

Oh, sorry, he won at the real estate. It's not someone giving. Oh, it's sad again, sad again, that'll. So this guy went to Vegas, a gambler. He won on the real estate table. He lost at blackjack and he won at poker. When he went to bed in his hotel room, he carefully double locked his door.

And then at 3 a.m. he was awakened by the sound of someone banging and rattling on the door. What did the person want and what did the gambler do? And this was the door to his room. Did he set a wake up call? Is it as simple as that? Like he... No.

I wish wake up calls were someone banging on your door. I think that would be funny. Is it something nefarious? Like is it someone who's come after him for doing something wrong? It's nothing nefarious. It has more to do with like forgetfulness or maybe in by being something and then,

and getting drunk and being forgetful. Is this who's been, you know, the door providing a service that the hotel provides? Nope. Okay. Is it someone he came with? Possibly. Oh, he, he double locked the door and he locked out

his like life. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Closer, warm, hot. Did he invite someone back to his room and forget about it? Mm-hmm. So basically, I don't think anybody will get this specific answer. So I'll go ahead and give it to you. He had played poker in his room with his friends until 2 a.m. They all had plenty of drink and it failed to notice that one of his friends had fallen asleep behind his sofa. Later,

the man woke up and rattled the door as he tried to get out to gambler, let him out. So this would have been one of those hotel rooms where the living room and the bedroom are separated by a door. That's kind of fun, right? Why was he banging on the door to get out? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Why was he banging on the door to get out?

I don't get that. Because he couldn't, he was hungover and couldn't figure out the double locks. I would like to see you soon. That's anytime I go to a deli, that is my order. I get a big little devil locks. I would like to see a soon. That's any time I go to a deli that is my order, I get a big little devil locks. We are in our own hangover situation. So we're in Vegas and the three of us are waking up,

trying to piece together what happened the night before. Love it. Oh, my head. Oh my God. Oh my god. Oh I feel awful. Am I missing a tooth? A tooth? No you're missing your tongue. Oh no. Oh wait you. I am going to kill me. Oh my god wait. Who's dying? Oh dude your tongue is in my mouth. Was I eating your tongue? Oh. Oh! Alright, give me that thank god you found it. We can maybe still save the piece of my tongue that's missing. Who's Diane? Diane's my wife that I'm going to get married to- oh my god today. Oh no. Oh, no buddy, it sounds like you want to tell a story but you just sound like, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Oh, because I don't have a thug.

Yeah, what a great gift for an audio podcast. I wish I could understand you, but I'm sure you are saying something fun. What is this? Oh my god, why do I have, is that a baby T-Rex? Did I buy a baby T-Rex? Oh my god, it's so cute and it's wearing a diaper on top. Jeff, I'm looking at this bill of sale. You didn't buy a baby's dress.

It bought you. This baby's holding up her wrist. I can't tell what he's saying. This baby's your ex is a millionaire. Wait, you guys. What am I wearing on my finger? Is that? Did I get married last night?

Oh, baby, die, baby, God, be- No! Oh, no, who did I marry? You don't remember? You looked in the mirror three times and once said bloody Mary and you got married. Oh shoot, is she nice? I found another receipt here. This is a book of receipts.

It looks like you married the baby to your ex. It looks like you married the baby T-Rex. It looks like you're incredibly well off now. We can't understand you. You see. But I have all the answers. Same. Oh. Oh.

Surely won't we all be that same in this show? That's what is like the waking up in Vegas. This is what we think comedy is. Wait a second. Wait a second. The funny one of this seat is dead. The second half of that case character is deceased. Comedy is hard, give me a break. Speaking of giving you all a break,

we're gonna take a quick break to hear from some of our rabbit typesers. We'll be right back with a Baby T-Rex. Let me beat your head, break your neck, break your neck. Oh, my God. Deep in your head, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick Okay, I just need to be advised. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only website platform for entrepreneurs

to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create

passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing.

I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, and he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, what's the website for? Prank. Squarespace. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality

of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeline JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm.

Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way

that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash riddle R I D D L E.

R I D D L E the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the to see helping at home. Bye. Am home. Who are we? What is this? You get home. Bye. Am home. I am home. Who are we? What is this?

I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor,

and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling.

Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million, well, clink, clink, clink, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rocket money. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away away cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday

got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, I came back to found a little wrapped present. I think it's a new segment. Do you guys want me to open it? Okay, we'll be taking a look at the show parade to get through. So let's just maybe move on. Okay. All right. I'll take that for yeah. No, no, no, yeah. Sorry, I'm just a little sad that no, that's fine. Well, just let's see what you want to do. Okay. Just just another little thing. Just try to be a professional when you're sure. It's gonna it's part of being an adult. Yeah, just call adult Just call me fucking Leon cuz I'm not from about professional Adel can you give me and gpc just like one second yeah, okay, let me take out my headphones. Okay. Hey gpc. What? Um, I just like hey Aaron. I immediately feel attacked. Oh, okay, hold on. It's just it's a pandemic right now The world is stressful and I just want to let you know. I think you're doing a really good job with that Thank you. Thank that. Thank you

Thank you, because he's like as a Joe I'm in a something boy. Did you lose your mouth in the mall? Okay, okay Air the only way that I will consent to doing that is as a joke and so yes Hey, how can you put your headphones back on headphones back on I'm doing the headphones back on why is back on oh Jade okay, james is doing a new segment. He's a moose your moose you are gills wait You're gonna let me do a moose time I've been to you guys email after email about doing moose type you said it's not Ready the idea is not ready. I told you you're ripping off northern exposure That's already a segment. Yeah, my head funds back on what do What do you want? I think that we would love to hear your segment.

I think that would be very something that we're just gonna do. Why are you shaking your head now? No, just, you can't see me, so shut up. Yeah, okay. Well, let me go ahead and unwrap it here. Ooh. Oh, wow. I don't know if you all can see this, but we have a new segment called Fully Macro.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. You don't know if we can see the name of the segment? Yeah, it's written on it. Inside the package is a giant macro that says Fully on it. So I assume I'm extrapolating based on the content

that it's called Fully Macro. Oh, I see. I thought it was called Axle Fischli. Okay, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, so I think if I can kind of piece this all together, at least on the gift I was given, and not something I made up a moment ago, I love this is called fully macro. Just it's from the other ship.

This is called fully macro, featuring audio daddy, Casey Tony. And what Casey's going to do is in Foley Macroll, we're going to tell a big fish of a story, some sort of made up story, some big lie. And Casey Tony, audio daddy himself, is going to provide the sound effects, much like a Foley artist would. Does that sound fun? Oh yes, that's fun to me.

So what will do? Yes. Can I leave my present box that I'm in? Okay, can somebody unwrap Casey? This is a simple. Okay, I am very confused because why are there air holes in the first box, but not in the second? Did that dead fish need air?

Because they don't even breathe that. Oh shit, I put air holes in Casey. You put gill holes in Casey's box. It's just started. All we need to know is, let's figure this out before we open Casey's box. Okay, so what's gonna happen is I'm gonna start us off and I'm gonna start telling a big tale,

a big story that's gonna have some moments for audio effects. And whenever I'm ready to pass the story off, I will say someone's name. So I'll say Aaron or Japs and then that person will take over the story where I left off and then you can you can pass it back whenever you like. Okay, that's your toky. And Casey's gonna be doing fully for the entire story. Casey's going to be doing fully for the entire story. Casey, I'll do daddy, you ready?

Yeah, I'm out of the box, I'm dead, I'm a spooky skeleton and I'm ready to do the this. Guys, I don't think this is gonna work Okay, here we go. This is fully macro On a dark and stormy night Darker and stormier I Was drinking a dark and stormy But Ifft. Pfft. Pfft. But I started choke on the contents of my cocktail. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. And I managed to scream. Ow. Pfft. That was a little bit more of a panic scream. Ah.

And I fell and hit my head on the hard marble floor of my mansion. When I woke up, I felt like I was the hard marble floor of my mansion. When I woke up, I felt like I was maybe in some sort of dream state. I saw my cat come over to me and say a curse word. Shit. It didn't even sound like a cat. It just sounded like some guy. Was that a good swear?

Should I do a different swear? Yeah, I'll do another one. Okay. Pussy was right there. Am I allowed to say pussy, Aaron, do I permission? Yes, 100%. Okay. Pussy. I was so startled that I fell backwards

into a plate glass mirror. Oh, pussy! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Japs? Brushing the scraps of me or off of myself, I headed over to my record player machine

and played a little clip of one of my favorite George Carlin albums. I fast forward and pass the part with Karmel and just laughing at his own shit. To one of my favorite joke segments. Yeah. This is the credits for the joke. George Carlin played by George Carlin, not gonna do the swear word thing. Okay, took that off. That was kind of a sweet of a miss. Reach for a Bitch Headberg album and gave that a whirl. Percy.

Being done with that part of the night, I decided to walk into my garage and hit the garage door so that it would open up. And opened the door to my Ferrari. I'm sorry, not my Ferrari spaceship, my Ferrari car. I'm sorry not my Ferrari spaceship my Ferrari car Gotta be specific you got it specific then I rev that engine to really let that baby purr Oh, I got out remembered I didn't put any gas in it and close the door. I'm not gonna... Pfft! Raising back into the house. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t Then I began to dial BEEP BEEP BEEP And I dialed some more numbers BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Enough for a real phone call BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Friend George Carlin who said Busy George always got me laughing I hung up the phone Aaron And I just then I heard a knock at the front door I Open the door And saw a beautiful woman crying. Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my She sounded like how my cat was supposed to sound. What's going on here? Why is my ex-wife at the door?

I go out to the garden with her. Yeah, I still love you. She said she still loves me. Let me reach down and cut a rose from the garden. Yeah, not the thorns again. I'm so sorry, not the thorns again. I'm so sorry. Not the thorns again. I forgot that she sounded like a spooky snow white. Oh man, I missed that voice.

Just then we began to slow dance in the moonlight to a George Carlin album. End of scene. Hurray! Nice job, Macroll. Hooray. Nice job. That was fun. Macroll Casey, give yourself a raise. Oh, okay. Thanks guys.

Enjoy the sound effects for the rest of the episode. Oh, shit. We should just like that. Oh, no. That's good. Oh, well, I think that's it for segments unless, unless I hear it. Let's try the Moose one.

Unless I hear, yeah, what was your rip off of animal parade, Jace? Uh, yeah, so that was a moose. Oh, what's the, what's the M word of the swan game? You snooze, you moose. You know, I want to say Prominod, but isn't there an M word for walking? Let's just go with Moose, my Prominent. Isn't there an M word for walking? Yeah, right?

Hey, I'm marching here. Like go to summer camp or like do theater and you did that Moose song. Remember that Moose song? No, how do I go? It's a Colin response song. Do you want me to do the beginning with you? Repeat it for me. Well beginning with you? Moose

Moose Hey, ooz You went to Dave Kool-yee Camp though, right? Yeah Okay, Aaron, let's hear this song. You have to repeat after me. Yes Alright, he was a great big moose. He was a great big moose. He liked to drink a lot of juice.

He liked to drink a lot of juice. He likes to drink a lot of juice. He likes to drink a lot of juice. He likes to drink a lot of juice. He likes to drink a lot of juice. He likes to drink a lot of juice. Singing, whoa, singing, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoao, weo, weo, weo. Weo, weo, weo. Weo, weo. Weo, weo, weo, weo, weo. Weo, weo, weo, weo, weo. Weo, weo, weo, weo. And that is a song about an alcoholic moose. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was my segment.

Mozie was what I was looking for. There you go. Mozie. That doesn't sound familiar to you at all. No, I never heard that song. I wonder if anyone else has. Tweeted me and let me know. I think a lot of people have.

I think of you as a never camp. Yeah, I told you. He did me right now. He said the tweet to me right now, did he? You all fuck now. I'm in the mood for an animal parade. So we're gonna do one. Ready?

Let's do it. Yeah. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a goblin with a rake head. A cow with a pedicure. A fish who won the lottery. A monkey with a comb over. A pig on a second date. A hippo from the future.

A goat with a preamble to the Constitution. Animal parade. Animal parade. A goat with the preamble to the Constitution. Okay fine, I love it, you're right. I love it. So let's find, of course you could always email me articles for use in animal parade at hrpokast.com. Sorry hrpokast.gmail.com. You can also email me articles for use in animal parade at hrpacast.com. Sorry, hrpacastademo.com. You can also email me articles for use in fully macro. If you have some stories, trivia corpse, which was what one we did, and spoke troops. So send your articles to hrpacastademo.com.

This animal parade article was sent in by Emily F. Thank you so much, Emily F. This is from, where's this article from? Doesn't say okay, so the internet the internet and so this is from Warchester. Am I saying that right Aaron? Oh for Massachusetts? Yeah, Worcester Worcester and Emily's and if you want to go to Six Flags, New England, you got to pass Worcester Emily F says she is a fellow mass hole. Oh, I wonder if she went to Holy Cross. That to pass Worcester. Emily F says she is a fellow mass hole. Oh, I wonder if she went to Holy Cross.

That's in Worcester. Worcester. Worcester. Worcester is a West Massachusetts trash. But thank you, Emily. OK, this is patch.com. This is a news article from Worcester Mass. It says, what is it?

Unidentified creature captured on video in Worcester. It could be a fox, a coyote, or just someone's dog. The animal is captured on a home surveillance camera. The animal was captured on a home surveillance camera. There could have been a murder or robbery or it could have just been a birthday party. Everyone's so bored that this is news. Worcester Mass, a Worcester resident recently captured an unidentified creature on a home surveillance camera.

The homeowner posted the video on neighbor's app on Christmas Eve, so this is an older article, and wondered whether the animal was a fox or a coyote. Both of those animals that turns out are common and Worcester. Foxes are the most type of carnivore. This is a bad like six grade report. Foxes are the most common type of carnivore, although they'll eat almost anything in Massachusetts. According to the state division of fisheries and wildlife, there are two fox species that live in the state,

the gray fox and the red fox. Both types weigh a max of about 15 pounds and the creature in this video looks a little bigger than that. There's a good chance the creature could be a coyote. Before Thanksgiving, Worcester, Arlidge Counselor, Morris Bergman, floated the idea of creating a map of coyote sightings in the city. He got the idea from Nadic, which had a problem

with coyotes, and after Nadic, which had a problem with coyotes, and after hearing about some coyotes sightings in his tan, tatt, knuck neighborhood, can you identify the creature? Here's the video. Adel, did you watch the video? I did not. Okay, I mean, it's gotta be a wolf or a fox.

No, let's just guess, let's see, I think it might be, hmm. I think it's a really, let's see, I think it might be, hmm. I think it's a really, really sick horse. Okay. Okay. Okay. And a maciated horse. Yeah.

Also, you did a great job with those town names. I just, people in Massachusetts are so particular about that. I went, why not give the people what they want? Yeah, no, I mean, I was relying on you as our local vessel to get it right. Is that, have you ever seen a fox, a rachioti, or a wolf in Massachusetts? Yeah.

Which one? All three? No, I don't think I've ever seen a wolf. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a wolf. But Massachusetts, at least the part of Massachusetts, that I am from had a terrifying, massive, huge turkey problem, like turkey's the size of, like, eighth graders. Just whirly about.

Are you sure this wasn't just like an eighth grade turkey? Oh yeah, maybe. Who knows who's to say? It was really, it's really scary. I heard a story that the baseball team in Boston was actually the red fox, and then, they, one time there's a typo in the newspaper and they just changed it to us.

Yeah, they were just polite about it. Yeah, when I hear Boston, I think polite. I think racist nonsense, but I'm glad that you think we're polite. We used to have coyotes in Indiana, and those, the coyotes are like Shaggy horrible things like I remember I saw some coyotes coming home one night in high school I think it was and I caught them with like the Brights of my car because in my dad's neighborhood It's like a wooded neighborhood, and there's no like street lights,

you know, in his neighborhood. So you turn your brights on as soon as you get in that neighborhood, so you can like see your way through the dark. And I hit my brights on these three coyotes that were in the middle of the street. And first of all, they were thick as hell. Like they were well fed coyotes.

They're smoking cigarettes and drinking a beer together. So they say like, coyotesotes, we'll eat dogs. And I was like, oh, these are like definitely dog eating coyotes. But they, their fur was all patchy. It was like, they were like, midlife crisis coyotes who were just like, I'm not losing it. I'm not losing it.

Were they driving a sports car? Yeah, they were all in beadas. Wait, what do you think a sports car is? Well, that's what they thought it was. You just see them calling the police to ask if they can drown a raccoon. I used to live on Clark and Montrose and my apartment overlooked a cemetery. And from when I looked at the seminary school, thank you. And I lived with Brett Lyons.

And anytime we looked at his window, it looked into the cemetery, and we would constantly see coyotes running around in there. And they would like fight each other, and they all looked so mangy, and just like real haggard. Like they're kind of like sad wolves. Yeah, it didn't seem like a good life for those coyotes. I do wanna see a scene. Jace, you're going to be a wolf, Aaron are going to be a red fox.

I will play a coyote, and we're having our once a year meeting up of the Massachusetts animals to try and lay down some rules and regulations for the following year. Orda, orda to our meeting. Hello. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Dunkin' Donuts, coffee, and... I don't touch this stuff Donuts over here if you guys want some it messes with my frickin' howl So I don't touch this stuff, but thank you and messes with my howl. I can't I'll be up on light I'll be it's a dry it's a dry howl that it does. Oh, let's hear it. Let's hear it. I'm not gonna do it for you. How are you doing? All right order order. Uh, uh, Fox you got the floor. Oh, I got the floor. Yeah, I mean you called order Well, awesome. Okay. There's some things I want to talk about

All right, is everyone paying attention? Yeah, yeah, yeah, as much as is capable of me Okay, I want to talk about dogs. Oh I know I know. I know. Oh, yeah, don't even, yeah. The topic of conversation is better be how much they suck, because that's all I'm interested in talking about. I have some good news and some bad news. Style with the bad news.

The bad news is my daughter. She fell in love with a dog. Oh my God. Isabella? Yep. Oh, fuck. The good news is she wants us all to officiate it How is that good news? I don't know. I thought you'd care that my daughter cares about you and loves you

Can I can I tell you all some good news bad news? Yeah, of course. I guess it's bad news bad news My son fell in love with a road runner What yeah? Yeah, you're bad news. I'm the- What? The bad news is that my son and law is going to be a road runner. Holy shit. That is devastating.

Have you tried catching the road runner before your son can marry? Oh, nonstop. I tried painting a little entrance to a cave on the side of a wall. Yeah, that works. But then I ran into it. Oh, come on. Oh, no. And he ran right through.

He probably did. Well, I got a question. Have you fallen off of any cliffs? Probably not, right? Well, I fell off the wagon. I fell off the wagon. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, that's, it's falling off.

That's the one where you, no, that's the bad one. That's the bad one Fuck I always good news bad news for us. I got I have terrible news. I have no good news. I just have terrible news So, um, you know that son of mine that wolf son of mine. Yeah, so he comes up to me the other day He says dead the socks traded away David or T's no Fuck oh my he's all we had left The socks traded away David Ortiz. No Come on He's all we had left. He was the only one left. Fuck me. Wait, did you have good news? Well the good news is I I'm no longer a red socks fan. So I decided

Are you gonna go to a Bruins game? Yourself no, no, I'm gonna I'm it's all I'm doing all eat I I'm doing all Sweet Swedish basketball what yeah, I'm only I'm only following Swedish basketball now Okay, you know, if they're gonna boss in team you can do Celtics can do I'm not I'm done with sports except Swedish basketball That's the only one I like huh well. I heard a lot of Swedish basketball players have some unusual names want you go and tell us the starting five Oh the starting five of Swedish basketball players

Funny names these days yeah, yeah, I'm a big fan So I know all of these we can see you googling I we keep you mean my eyes You're googling. Where I weekend you mean my eyes Goggling our tongues are lollling in our eyes are goggling well, I'll tell you what googling Swedish basketball players doesn't help a lot So boy boy, let's just say they're all names, Finn. Uh, I see. Oh, pretty funny. Pretty good animal parade.

So that is the end of our animal parade. Uh, Japs, I do want to say I missed a dead stop for you, which was during animal parade, did you say a goblin with a rakehead? Yep. I was like 20 minutes ago by then. Have you had some nightmares or what's going to be? It's going to be a stage you will limitations on that.

So you think you're going to be a goblin? I think you're going to be. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, You saying something ridiculous are real loud to like, be freaked out by it. I think the statute of limitations on a dead stop is like, it's like, two seconds. It's like under a minute. If you can't go, but hey, previously dead stop. Last episode you said, as I just read off some stuff that I did, that's up there.

You said something crazy to me in 2016, I can't care anymore. If it was a prediction, then it has two years to come true here. So I said six years to the day. So you think goblins are animals. That's the only statement I want to make. I seed my time.

Would you say that humans are animals? Absolutely. Then goblins are animals too. Okay, that's where you're from. What are goblins? If monsters. Ten of green humans. This is where you're talking about. What are goblins? If not, stars. Tannigran humans. This is where you and I perverse.

Are they humans? Are they goblins? They goblins. The best killer song. We're gonna do one more riddle and then we're going to go ahead and stop this podcast. Here we go. This is our final riddle. This is called Sleeping on the Job.

Okay. This very appealing to me. Honestly, love sleeping on the job. Okay. This very appealing to me. Honestly, love sleeping on a job. A man undressed to go to bed and hundreds of people lost their jobs. Why? He was on a Zoom call. A man undressed to go to bed and hundreds of people lost their jobs. Why?

I will go ahead and say... Is this a Santa Claus thing? Oh, details. My answer isn't a date I went on. It's just my answer. I want to see a scene, Aaron, you are on a date with Chris Kringle, played by Japs, and Japs, you are a bit of an unorthodox Santa. You are a must-be. What? Excusebe. What?

Excuse me? Oh, I was just saying, ho ho ho, look at these prices. Oh, okay, sorry, I thought you were... Homie, yeah, I was gonna ask, it feels like it's sort of a tricky thing to work only one day a year. Like, how do you subsidize your income the rest of the year? Oh, well, you know, I'm, I'm salaried, so it doesn't really matter how much you work. Oh, you're kind of how much, I mean, I know it's a little like trash. Oh, no, it's, no, it's, it's a little ghost to say. Uh, before I answer, what is the

etiquette with how we are paying for this? Because, you said red lobster and I said, sure, red lobster, and now I'm getting here and I'm looking at an $18 on try and I'm like holy smokes what did I get myself into uh I have so we go a Dutch I have no trouble play like paying for it it's just like a little misleading because I thought you're like you're one of the most famous people in the entire world so like sure yeah are you okay financially like I'm good. Can I tell you something? The elves unionized a couple years ago and I took a fucking bath with, you know, just... My business model was not super sustainable to begin with. Well, why did they unionize? But because of that. Yeah, labor stuff. I wasn't the best of bosses. I was making them sleep in one big hut and work all times. They got to make billions

of toys. So this day goes very well. We cut to the next morning. We cut, I guess I decided. We cut to the next morning and James, you are Santa coming downstairs at Aaron's house and I am her son who's up early and curious. Good morning, I made a cup of coffee if you want anything. Yeah, and thank you again for letting me sleep in the bathtub. I never piss that much. Santa. Oh, who do we got here? I just get in here.

Oh, this is my son. Yeah, you're Tyler. Hi, Tyler. I know all the kids. You know me? I do indeed. Yes, I're Tyler. Hi Tyler. I know all the kids. You know you know me I do indeed. Yes, I got a list with all the kids names on it Can I ask you for what I want for Christmas? Can you ask to me for what you want for Christmas? Yeah, yeah, I'm Santa Claus. It's got a whole thing to fall in love with my mom. What? You want to fall in love with me son? Or you want you hold on is this like genie rules? You want to fall in love with me, son? Or you want... Wait, you hold on, is this like Genie rules?

You want to get tricked? Say it or the fall in love with your mom, or you want you to fall in love with your mom. Oh no, it's happening. Couple things. One is really messed up. The second one, I'm not really looking for anything serious, honey. Oh no. Hey, Linda, if I haven't been honest,

it doesn't matter either way. It's a bad kid. He's on the bad list. He's getting called him out of work. He can't really do anything to change it. I'm the naughty list? Yeah, we have quotas, so honestly. Just... Okay.

Okay. Ah, are we reindeer? Or are we friends? In December, Santa puts a bunch of people on the naughty list just to reach the quota. The elves unionized it down, doing like 80% naughty lists. They don't want to work work and it's just cold.

A man undresses, sorry, a man undressed to go to bed and hundreds of people lost their jobs, why? This is a very specific answer and it's actually a bit of history, a little bit of Hollywood history, so I don't know if we're gonna get this. A man undressed to go to bed I mean, undressed to go to bed? A man undressed to go to bed and hundreds of people

lost their jobs. Why? Is this like an old-timey thing where you weren't allowed to show like skin on television and an actor accidentally forgot he was doing a bedtime scene and like took his clothes off and then everyone who was working on the set was like blacklisted from Hollywood and they were all fired.

And you think Old Timmy Hollywood streamed live? No, no, I just think that the rules were such that you saw a man's kneecaps, so now you go to jail. It's not that. You're not, I mean, you're not horribly off, but that's not exactly right. Aaron, do you have any guesses before I read the answer? I don't. Okay, the man was Clark Gable, the screen idol who took off his shirt and a movie

in which he was about to go to bed. He was not wearing an undershirt. So great was his influence that men stopped wearing undershirts and factories making them had to close down. In a later movie, he wore an undershirt and restored it to fashion. Wow. And then a fun little tour of the house. That's power.

Interesting. I wonder what he that was. The car parkour. Like with Justin Bieber, he got that fucking haircut and then all the bulls in America got thrown right to the trash because they couldn't do the little bull swoop anymore. Uh-huh.

Fucking Bieber killed bulls. I want to see you seen Aaron you're going to be playing Hollywood legend Clark Gable. And Japs you are sort of Clark Gables, I don't know the proper term like Wrangler, like you're the person who's sort of supposed to help him throughout his shoot. And Clark's a little erratic today so you're trying to reel him in. I'm not leaving my trailer. Do I get another three steaks and a couple martinis? That's no problem Clark. We can get you three steaks and a couple martinis, but you gotta come on set and do your lines and you gotta get that custom.

Not before you send a few women to my trailer, not for anything weird. I just want to explain something to them they already know. Clark, we can get some more ladies in here, but you've explained everything that you know to everyone on this cast twice over. We can keep me to the dead horse, Clark, you can just get on stage, work your magic, you got a million dollars smile and a twenty dollar pants. I'm not going to set until you kill every other handsome man in Hollywood. They're going to be one.

I've killed every one of their careers. I've hidden snakes in their cars. I've done the old Porto fishing on them. I've done it all, clock, they're ruined. They're never gonna work another day. I need you to kill who's alive during this time. Peter O'Toole. O'Toole's alive, he's big.

Seen. I kind of made me done a couple more. Fantastic. I do wanna say, my new favorite quote of all time is, you got a million dollar smile and a hundred dollar pants. A twenty dollar pants. You got a million dollar pants. Twenty dollar pants.

Oh, well that brings us to the end. That was expensive. Very expensive. Back then, this is the end of our show. Is there anything Aaron, you would like to pluge? Follow me Aaron keep 10 on Instagram. keep 2 on Twitter and follow our Patreon. We have so many hours over 100 hours of really fun content. I'm going to start doing live streams again with maybe some games and prizes and other such

things over on there. So if you want to come join me and to me, I will be on the Patreon. Awesome, James, anything to plug? I had a bunch of stuff to plug. First of all, I would like to plug the SugoiCorp podcast. It's a SUG-O-I underscore corp on Twitter. Their podcast takes title suggestions and flushes out an anime for their anime,

hating friend to watch. Check out their best of sampler for a taste. I also want to plug a Tale of Two Folds on Facebook. It's a book art site run by our friend Ginny. I would like to plug Twitch.tv slash Hatchling Games, dedicated variety streamer and riddle enthusiast. Come by, drop a riddle, have fun. Also, shout out a quick dedication to Cat named Pickle. Pickle is a very excellent cat. If you would like to also pick up some atwood specialty cat food with no grain filters or that would be fillers. Would you say that Pickle is a sourpuss? I pickles is a sourpuss. Plug, starman, and pipes. It's a stupid

podcast about nothing but still a very fun time. I would just love to, in general, plug the concept of Black Lives Matter. I would like to plug a fist of the Forgotten, which is a game coming to steam, where you can watch development at twitch.tv slash jitspoe. And also, I want to plug this team that works with the Chicago Department of Transportation to make a public Google-based map Where you can find out anything that's happening on your block Chicagoans want to feel empowered and informed about what's happening on their streets It's called shy street work and it's shy street work. Chicago.gov slash map

The name is not what the team originally came up with but they didn't have final say and then I would also like to Dedicate the last part of my plugs to complimenting Aaron. Aaron is wonderful, her smile lights up a room and she makes this podcast very fun. Addle, anything that you would like to plug? Did someone pay you $100 to plug me? Aaron, no, they only paid 50. I want to make a few plugs first off the three of us myself, James and Aaron, we guested on a podcast called Meddling Adults. So please check out Meddling Adults, our episode and every other episode that should be out now. We're coming soon. Also, Aaron and I were on a podcast called the Dr. DC podcast.

We were talking about the riddler and trying to solve some of the riddler's famous riddles throughout time. So please check out the Dr. DC podcast. Addle does a bit nut episode that made me cry laughing and continue to laugh for the rest of the day after we recorded it. So for sure check that out. Thank you. Also, I was on a show called That's My Story. I believe you can find that on Facebook. It is a sort of almost like a British panel show where there's two teams of three and we tell stories that may or may not be our own and people have to sus out whether it's tournots. And then last but not least, I was on the redo podcast,

which is a new podcast for my friends at, is this adulting Steven and Chris, they started a brand new podcast called the redo podcast. So please listen for my episode out now or out soon. And Aaron, just say the fucking thing. Just say it. Just say it. Aaron.

Adel promised to give us all $3,000. Fuck, I'm wrong. Jupiter. I'm free to say it. Bye forever. Refin. Sorry, Aaron G even. And John Patrick Cullen.

Casey Tony to the editing. Have any parents in the music? Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemora. Hey, if you like that, you're gonna love this Friday's Patreon. JPC makes Adel and Aaron do his bracket challenge. You can find that plus our entire Bat Catalog of Patreon bonus episodes at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. You can join the clue crew for $5 a month or join the review crew for $8 a month to get access to all of our bonus content.