Hey Riddle Riddle - #104: The Baron, The Countess and The Fool

Episode Date: July 15, 2020

One of our own joins the ranks of nobility and there is cause for celebration! Don't worry, the title change doesn't make us any less excellent at solving riddles. We also see an unlikely couple finding love in an unlikely place, the resurgence of one of our nation's finest businesses, the last and finest moments of two soulmates, nature's ability to heal, and some roadside assistance. All that and a bag of improv, what a deal! Happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Welcome to KidsBop, volume 47 Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me I ate the sharpest tool in the shed. Is anyone else any other kids? I was look he was a skater boy. He said to you later boy. He wasn't good enough for her I'm ready, but I'm cowardly. What is a saddest scene ever? I have a question. Why is the kid's bob guy so creepy? What is a voice like this?

Oh, because he's one of the kid's dads and he's some sort of stage dad and he wants the best for his kid, but he's also Vincent Price. Can I just do a kid's Bob version of just the Hamilton soundtrack? I just want to hear kids say, Southern mother fucking democratic republicans! My name is Hercules Mulligan, you knock me down, I get the back up the fucking... At least stumble over my lyrics. Yeah, I would watch a bunch of

seven to nine year old do-am Hamilton to their best of their ability. I've watched that. We were all too old for Kid's Bop, right? Is that correct? You're never too old for that. Trick question. I do know.

But then I'm out of reply. Oh, oh yeah. No, fuck you. No, it's... We're talking about Kid's Bop. The show's not so hip. Oh, oh yeah, no The show is that I hate I'm torn between Like me I'm on to you I'm golden I'm alone lying naked on the floor like oopsie on the floor, lying in my swimsuit on the floor.

We have to do Kids Bob lyrics for a Patreon episode, but replace all the naughty words with like the funniest replacement. I want to thank you like a gentleman. From the windows to the walls, till my heart rate gets real high This is a show hey, oh yeah, oh yeah, this is a Hey podcast. Hi guys, but if you're this first time. Let's name is puzzle puzzle is the movies Everyone good. Yes, everyone's okay. Don't shit. Oh sure like yeah doing good great. Oh, hold on hold on I almost forgot I do have something I need to talk about. Oh, which is two days ago in the mail, I received something that is a goddamn mystery and I need to get to the bottom of it.

And I don't know if it was one of you two, I don't know if it was a listener, but I received, it is not a cloak, I wish. I wish. I received in the mail something for my birthday. It was very late, it's a month late. Yeah, that's very good. But it is a, it's from the principality of Cland or Cland and it's a registration deed

that gives me the noble title of Baron Adorify. And I don't know who sent me this. And then it looked legit as F. And then that's like it was printed on a computer printer. It came it was mailed from seal and which I don't know where that's at but it's a seal and a note that said happy birthday at all I hope no one else got you one of these and then there's no name attached and I'm freaking out because I'm now a baron and I looked it up online and this is this is not cheap is that notarized

or is it just a red sticker? It's no arized. It's notarized. I see what it is. Okay, now correct me if I'm wrong, Adel, and you did look this up, right? Is Sea Land that like sovereign nation that is a like oil rig in the middle of the water somewhere? Is that what it is?

Okay, okay. That's, I'm thinking of the same or thing, right? Sea land? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. Okay, well here's the thing. What, whether the consequences of this are one, I'm baffled.

And two, I guess from now on, I'm a baron. So I deserve all the formalities and all the niceties and all the goings-ons that go with being a baron. Is baron less than a lord? I believe so. Do you ever see a red lord's pizza? No, because barons get all the glory. So if the two of you would please address me from now on as baron or fai.

I think that baron or fai, I think that the doectoms or whatever you get the Baronies of Sea Land is probably like the principal, like gag gifts is probably their principal economic engine. I think that's probably how they make all of them. Where are we going? They export those flowers that squirt water. Oh yeah, the cans and the nests. It's not just this gag gift, it's all gag gifts.

They have a big joke. They got a... So this guy gift. It's all got gifts. They look a big joke. They got a. So this island is basically Spencer's? Yes, it's Spencer's island presents Sea Land. All right, well, Adel, I am as we know a Countess. Wait, who are you talking to? Baron. Bye.

Thank you. I am a Countess, a well-known Countess. And I just need you to know that being a Baron is not like nothing. Thank you. Countess Keefe. Countess Keefe, thank you so much. No, I'm just saying you have to start being really fancy.

And you know what, Barons can't make puns. Barons can't do little jokes and little word play games. Barons can't word associate. And Barons can't sing big Kings' kids' butt. Aaron, it would be unseemly for a Baron to go masquerading as a little badger in the magical latitude. It would be unseemly.

No, I'm wrong. Yeah, that would be quite the roux at Bort. How do I choose? A baron cannot be cut to the badger. That is the first rule of being a baron. A baron wearing flannel, I'd ever. A baron could never be a confolato. Oh, oh good.

No, I just wanna know what friend is your guest. Same thing, like who you guessing for this? I was, I will say it was not me, so. I honestly don't know, but it seems like this, this level of gagering goofery seems like it would be someone, Hey Riddle adjacent. Adel, I had a great, prison is Hey Riddle adjacent. Meel, I had a great... Prison is hey riddle adjacent.

Me personally, and that both of them should be abolished. Me personally, Adel, I had a great idea for your birthday present, and I researched it, and it was too difficult to do, and I was like, maybe Doug's dear. What is it? Tell us. So I was like, oh, I know for a fact that you can like order people cocktails, like delivered cocktails to their places. And then I went into your neighborhood and tried to find places

that would deliver cocktails. But I couldn't find places for pick up that would, you could like go and pick up like unmixed cocktails. And I'm like, I can't like go and pick up this thing. I was like, it was, you know, a month ago and also I was very worried about germs. I was like, I don't like go and pick up this thing I was like it was you know a month ago and also I was very worried about germs I was like I don't want to like pick up a thing and then yeah, well exactly which still am by the way This is not where you mask still it was there's no You don't give a shit I was I was driving today I actually had to go run something over to Addles, which was not a cocktail.

But I was making eye contact with a person at a stoplight who was, or stopped sign to go. And I was not wearing a mask. I'm in my car. I have a mask in the car. But that person was wearing a mask. And we made eye contact to do like, we both stopped at the same time to do the pass-through.

And I immediately got self-conscious. I was like, I'm not wearing a mask. What does he think of me? And then I'm like, it's okay. You're in your car alone. Like it's not really, you don't have to be wearing the mask right now. But immediately I was like, he's going to think I'm like the type of person that doesn't wear mask. Well, that's why I've been wearing my mask as a beard while I drive. So, you can pull it on up and everyone thinks that I'm doing it all right, even in my car alone. Beautiful. We need to be important. G.H.I. just remembered the other day that you still have,

I got you a gift card for a tattoo. So, we have to figure out tattoos. I remember that because when I was doing that 24-hour live stream, I was like, oh, you know, what, one of the stretch goals should be to get a tattoo. I'm right, it's like, don't make that a stretch goal. And it was a good idea because we blew past what that stretch goal would have been. So I would have had to get some sort of like shark tank tattoo that I'm really glad I don't have to have on my body forever. I just had this blonde mustache.

I should have my body. A shark tank tattoo. What would you get? Well, I don't know. So I guess I can show this to you, but Mariah has been custom designing my like Twitch emotes, and she made an emote that's a tank, like a weapon of war, but the turret is taken off, and it's

just a shark with the end of the turret sticking out of its mouth, so it's a tank with basically a shark in a little turret on top. It's fantastic. That's really cool. I think that is a tattoo. I will say, speaking of gifts and tattoos and all that, I've been due to quarantine. I find myself most nights just looking online for stuff to buy because I'm like bored.

Oh man. I got, I got Gemma, a thing where Broadway, like a week ago, last week maybe or two weeks ago, Broadway had this thing where like we're doing, it's kind of like cameo, but you have like a Zoom session with someone. So I bought her a one hour singing lesson with Eva Noblezada, the lead in Hamilton, Hamilton, the lead in Hades town. That's crazy. So it's like for an hour she'll like teach you how to

sing and stuff. But I got that and then the next day I was like, hey I got you this and she's like, what the fuck? And I was like, yeah, I'm just, I don't know. I'm just sorry, I'm addicted to shopping and I'm trying to fill a hole in my heart. I think I mentioned this on Patreon, but the other night I was like high and bored. And I was like, I'm gonna get Aaron this equipment to teach her how to do the splits.

It's like a stretching device. But I don't know. And it's a whole level of boredom if you're like, my coworker and friend mentioned that you wanna do the splits to me a year ago. I have nothing left to buy. But I'm just like, my coworker and friend mentioned that you wanted to do this once to me a year ago, I have nothing left to buy. But I'm just like, what can I send people? We got a new throw pillow,

we thought that was pretty exciting. I think. My therapist told me that that is one of the number one problems mental health wise during this quarantine is people over shopping. Well, that makes absolute sense to me. Because he says we're having so many exchanges and like purchases normally during the day and it's hard to slow your

body down because you're not like going out buying coffee and going out and like, Hey, Aaron. I'll tell you this. Some people certainly still are. I've seen them walking with coffee cups that can wear normal people who aren't selfish lunatics. We're the fucking constantly have got that coffee cup. Aaron, I will say, Addle would have let your comments just wash over him like water off a dux pack. But Baron Raffa is a little peeved because Baron Raffa is worth billions.

And so buying some gifts. Addle. I've seen bucks. You add Baron to the front of your full name, forget it. All right, well anyway. Battle Refi. Bed, bed, yeah. Baraddle.

Baraddle, my wife. We have the intesim riddles, and I want to give some, these are some special riddles that were submitted from listeners of the show. I've made the mistake before and been called out several times in my DMs. They are not fans of the show. They are listeners of the show. That's what I would say. Yeah, it's an important distinction to make.

So I would love someone who's listening every episode and are like, I'm not a fucking fan of it. I hate the show, but I listen to just a few things. You guys, I'm a listener of the show and not a fan. Well, that's true. I guess I listen to each episode two or three times and I have a listener. I will admit, I am a fan of all of us individually, but as a trio, no thank you. I would love to support another project of yours. This is from Derek, Derek writes and this is I want to include this message.

A few months back I woke up from a dream with a fully formed riddle in my mind. It goes as this. Round and round like the number eight, first go round, then go straight. What am I? The number eight. The infinity sign, first go round, then go straight. The spaceship in the Martian where they have to go around Earth to get the Earth's gravity and then to go straight back to Mars the earth's gravity. Oh, yeah.

Look, the slingshot. Yep. So, Addle, you got it exactly right. The answer is, well, in my dream, it was the infinity symbol, but my friend guest race car track, and that also works. So I guess it's not a very good riddle. That's their words, that's mine. I think you, thank you so much, Derek, for sending that in.

My second guest was gonna be, in the riddle was, what goes around, and what goes around, and then goes straight? Yeah, it goes around, then goes straight. What goes around, and then goes straight? My guest was gonna be somebody figuring out their sexuality. Yeah, I mean, it's a journey, sure.

So you're allowed to have different opinions at different times with your sexuality. I did, I was working out to the day, and while working out, I was in just like a fugestate and I thought of a joke and I told Gemma and she laughed, which was my report card is like a heterosexual Canadian. Straight A's. Wow. And you're doing that when you're working out. It was a light workout. Did your muscles get any oxygen? That was all going to your brain, baby. Also, no way you got straight A. It's insane.

Also, I just want to comment, there's no famous Derek's, right? So that tells you something. There's no famous Derek's. Well, there's no famous character's name Derek. Derek Zoolander, of course, no more of the bull. Derek Rose, Derek. Derek Zoolander. Of course. Derek Shepard. Uh, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er,

er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, er, Derek. Yeah, so I mean, that's just telling. Or is it like perfect because now you can be the one Derek who's out, like if your name is Derek and you wanna become an actor, are you gonna be your age?

Yeah, the one Derek. Because there's a million fucking Jeff's and Chris's. Derek, get into acting stat. Yes, get into acting stat. There's a couple great Patreon episodes where if you want to learn how to act, I go, you know, Patreon.com slash Hey Rital Rital. It only makes worse. It only makes worse.

All right, well, the jury's still out of that. Okay, this next one is coming from Michelle. Michelle says, Hey, Adel, don't know why you addressed Adel when I'm the one reading this email. It seems like a fuck up on your part. Also, it's bear an Adel, but we'll let that slide. I guess that was a lot of that slide. This was written in 2018. They just sum of the first riddles, I remember, and how much they puzzled me as a kid, and

they said that they have been enjoying each episode of the podcast. So thank you so much. One of them is art that we've already done on the show. So I will skip right to the second riddle. Mm-hmm. Two archaeologists enter a cave, mistumble upon a man than a woman frozen in ice. One archaeologist says to the other, that's Adam and Eve.

He was correct, of course, but how did he know? Hmm, he was correct. I love he was correct. course, but how did he know? He was correct. I love he was correct. Yeah, okay. He was correct of course, because archaeologists are not wrong. Two archaeologists. Oh, Riverdale.

Archaeologists, archaeologists. We'll never get that word. In case you just drop it and clean. Inter-A cave, they stumble upon a man that a woman frozen in ice. One archaeanologist says to the other, that's Adam and Eve. He was correct, but how did he know?

Because there was eating an apple. One was eating an apple, and the other was eating a snake. One was made from a rib, and the other was a dick. With a leaf in front of it. One was made from the other was a dick. With a leaf in front of it. What does it mean? It was a dick. I think that yeah, like one less rib would be a good guess, but I think it would be a

little hard to see because they are of course frozen in ice, so they're not like skeletons. Did they find? So next to the frozen block of ice, was there like a work desk and they opened up the drawer and there's like the Bible, like the writings of the Bible because we don't know Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible.

Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible.

Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and Eve wrote the Bible. Adam and or snake thing. It's not an, Aaron, it's not an Apple thing and it's definitely not a snake thing. Because they're labeled. Do you think Adam and Eve, if one, they're wearing t-shirts that say, I'm with Adam and I with Eve,

they're putting each other. Can we say, if we rebooted Adam and Eve, would it be like, don't go for the Apple store? I would like to see a scene. I would like to see a scene. On your slide, that's. JPC, you are Eve, Adel, you are the famous Adam, and you are a modern sitcom version of Adam and Eve that is on CBS. Honey, I'm home.

Um, okay, that's the first time anybody has said that. I just came up with it. But I don't see any French bread. How are we supposed to make dinner? The Peterson's are coming over. Ooh. Who the fuck are the Peterson's? We're the only two humans. It's a gorilla. Uh-huh. Ooh. What's a gorilla? What's a gorilla? What's a gorilla?

A gorilla is that creature that God made in our image, but kind of. What's creature and what's kind of? All right. It's going to be a long night. What's a night? Adam and Eve was one of those. You know what I'm saying?

I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. I want ribs. Seen. I love the idea of doing a scene as Adam and Eve and just anything the other person says go, what's that? Ha ha ha.

Okay, but no, it's not. They're not wearing anything that would identify the other one is Adam and Eve They don't really props. There's no signage It's something about it's something about their form the form of them that Clues them in to that it's Adam. They're transformers And their license plate said like dead. They're like laying down with a they're like it doesn't matter where their body died with the shame They died ashamed of their bodies. They doesn't matter where their bodies are. They died with the shane.

They died of shamed to their bodies. They had original sins, so they are covering up their skin. Ooh, cider, no. I want some hard cider. Yeah. Original sin. Or just this,

but that's positive. I have original sins. This book is a film of our lives and animals. Life's due to the ambulance. And has the podcast is filmed in a life studio ambulance. So, James, can I ask, was this in the world of this riddle in this world verse? Was this actually the Adam and E from the Bible or just a Adam? This is the Adam and E from the Bible. I think you just got to tell us hold on

So I'm the guy wasn't circumcised. Okay, so now we're getting we're getting closer But no, that's not that's not correct. It's not about circumcision, but it is something. They both had stretch marks and didn't airbrush them out. No, it's something that you would find on, like only their bodies specifically that wouldn't be on any other human bodies. Ali? Adam was missing a ribbing.

But not Ali. Oh, do you think when Adam, oh my God, I just thought of something. When God took out that rib to create Eve, could Adam then suck his own dick like Marilyn Manson? He only took one rib, so he could probably only suck one bowl. I'm not really Catholic anymore, but this still feels like shit. So, I don't think there's anything in the Bible against that.

Does it have to do with their genitals or the ribs? It's not the genitals and it's not the ribs, no. But it's part of their, it's part of their now. All right, let's have a clean fight in the rib of the genitals and it's not the ribs, no. But it's part of their, it's part of their now. All right, let's have a clean fight and I'm pointing in the ribs of the genitals. I don't know, tell us. Okay, so, I mean, you may not know this, but the, I guess according to the lore

since Adam and Eve were created and not born, they would not have what is something that you'd say to the belly button. A belly button because they didn't have a belly concords. I can sing a belly button song again. Please do. I found a button in a soft ball my shirt.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I found a button in a soft ball my skirt. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. I found a button in a part of me. It's the button in the middle of my tummy. It's my belly button. Belly button. It's right underneath my sweater.

Yeah, 2020. Belly button. button and it's right underneath my sweater in 2020 belly button and it's holding me together last part and I say one two where are you know that is it but we'll not do okay so Aaron is aware of belly button I am not what is that you could have could have fained some sort of vigorous there They're like Kylex why yes, I was gonna say the only other people I didn't know if you guys would get that reference I certainly barely get it Kylex why Kylex why in front?

What is why was a Disney family or ABC family? Reformed in my own spit that's that's what I certainly barely interested in what fucking network he was on it and and more interested in what the who is Kylox why give me give me the low down I think it's a television show I don't know I think it's it's a television show I think it was on ABC family I don't care about I know that it's a show I know that it was on a what I what I want to do a crack at it at it was a television show it was not ABC family I want to do a crack at it out of it was a television show it was a ABC fan or freeform or one of like Disney kids or something like that

Anyway, we have like Who's your mom? Well, she's a human. She was birth and So why doesn't have a button? I think he's an alien or he was an angel or something. Yes. It's like he's a teen who's got to like exist in the world. No, I got a C.A.C. A.B.C. family. Now I have to see a scene.

Aaron, you are an alien. J.A.P.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C. Hi. Oh, sorry. I immediately cut you off. You were saying? No, I was literally just texting to my friend. This is a little premise heavy, but like, I'm so happy to meet you. I was texting my friend from across the bar when I saw you. Jeff, who set us up, thank God she, and literally thank God, who created you. I assume. I assume she's gorgeous. Oh my gosh. Oh, you believe in God? I believe in a God. Yeah, not maybe not as silly. We have. Yeah. Oh, interesting.

Yeah, my guy's more just like kind of a big cloud white. I'm sorry. Why did you bring Jeff to the date? I know he set us up, but it feels like. This is still in the front of the line. My understanding was that you wanted Jeff at the date. I would not have brought Jeff. I think our wires got crossed.

I was using Google Translate to translate out of alien into Angel, if that makes sense. Yeah. Hey, Jeff, you can go home. I think we got it from here. I'm technically a Jeff's legal guardian. Yes, I've seen. Angel.

All right, next riddle for real. This next riddle is from Jonah. And this is actually super cool because I don't know what this website is, but Jonah sent us says that they write riddles for fun. This is at Jonah D on Twitter. The work ends are going home. They write these riddles themselves, but they use this program called rot13.com, which looks like it is a code translator that they sent, so they sent all of the answers as a

code, and then you put the code in the translator and it gives you the answer to the riddle. Oh, ROTC, I feel like a lot of my colleagues friends join that. Yeah, ROT13, it's like ROTC, but for Star Wars. Joining the Space Army. So this, this first riddle is... Sparmy, please. Sparmy, I'm lightning in the desert sand. I raised you from out of the mud.

I'm sorry, I'm lightning in the desert sand. I raised you from out the mud. Beyond ancient mind and hand with raging veins of Auburn blood. What am I? I think I know this. This is the Lord of the Rings creatures, the Urachai. They are they are born from the mud and they come out with robbing neck veins real real big real scary.

And Adel I'm looking at this menu and there is a change to it. Do you know what the change to this menu is? What? Okay, so you said oricae. And there's a very famous line that the oricae say, oh, in my ax, yep, that's it. That's it. Meet's back on the menu. All right.

Is it glass? It is not glass, right? I guess. So I'm writing. When lightning hits sand, it hates glass. So it does. And you're correct. And I think that this thing, yes, you're all the right track.

That is correct. Can I? I know that because of the movie Sweet Home Alabama. And that Bama. Can I have a short thing? We're gonna play that song right now on Hey Riddle Riddle FM. Give me two steps. Give me two steps give me two steps born Giver dear tips towards the dark

Can I be vulnerable? I'll tell you all something when I was 17 or maybe 16 my favorite album in the universe Was throwing copper by a little band called life The by a little band called Life. The lightning crashes. In order to die. Do you know that lightning crashes is the only top 40 song that has the word pluses and the first 15 words? I would hope so.

That can't be right. What about that Katie Perry song? My placenta breaks out of place. Yeah, she sings. That's kind of very. Cause baby, your placenta poison. Yeah, she sings it. That's kind of very. Because baby, your placenta works. Yeah, exactly.

That's her heart. That in gracious. Plot of Santa. Uh-uh, girls. I'm dynamo. I'm lightning on the desert sand. I raised you from out the mud. Beyond ancient mind and hand with raging veins

of Auburn blood. Okay, raging veins of Auburn blood. Is this like the Egyptian pyramids? This is very like, this is very like flowery language, describe a very modern thing, I would say. Here's, yeah, I'm sorry, this isn't the clue that they gave is not, I don't think it'll help you,

but the clue is the first line alone could be the entire riddle. So in Aaron's right, it's something that is... Born out of sand. Yeah. Born out of mud. So I'm lightning in the sand. Uh, no, what was it? The exact line is I'm lightning in the desert sand.

So I don't know much about history, I don't know much about biology, don't know much about the French I took. But is neon like gas particles or sand particles bouncing around light? Is it something to do with like a neon sign? It's not a neon sign. I guess neon's like a gas, never mind.

Is it oil? Is it this? It's not, it's not glass and it's not, you're on the right track that it's like a, I don't wanna say chemical, but it's like a compound that is made in my house. It's something in your house, it's something in the room with you right now.

Oh fuck, both guys are like a light bulb. Fuck, I need to go, I need to get my mouse while back. That's still a light bulb. someone Something in the room with me It's like pipes in a house. He definitely destroyed with a pipe toilet It's a toilet in the room right now. Is it a camera erud? It has a toilet of the recording room with her right now She's what do you think I'm sitting on idiot? We all do count as Keith is on her throne I think I'm sitting on idiot. We all do. Countess Keef is on her throne.

Boy, I think I might have to give this one to you because I'm not sure. It's pretty esoteric. Okay, let me give you another hint. So technically, now it's not something that you could actually see from where you are right now, but you're technically staring at it right now. It's just inside of something.

Two fucking morons And Aaron I want you to know that I'm talking about James a night. No, you're not He is looking at three people. No, it's you're you're left out of the more Moronady good save Staring on it right now, so it would be like a computer screen So it's not it's not your computer screen, but it's something inside of your computer. The World Wide Web. Little magic people?

I'm letting the desert sand, I raise you from out the mud beyond ancient mind and hand with raging veins of Auburn blood. Auburn college? So the raging veins of Auburn blood are like the reddish kind of lines inside of this thing. It's small, it's small and it's getting smaller every fucking time. Like a memory card or like a SIM card? Aaron, you're the closest.

I'm going to give it to you because I think that's the closest. It is a microchip. Um, so the microchips are made. I think from silicone, which is the, I'm letting them the desert sand right there. So, do microchips have huge tits? I wrote you from out there. I'm looking at two morons. Why didn't say it, he said it.

I'm talking about me and Adel. I'm looking at two morons right now. I'm talking about my own enormous tits. That's what I'm talking about my own enormous tits. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, I was in a silly goose mood. And I'm telling you all at home and he's in goose goose mood. Adam's a goose. So this is the first time in three months I've been home. I cannot wait for her to come back.

I'm in my mind. And what I would add what I'm very good at my cats. What I would add else is jibbos god. She did leave him. Where's this glossing over that? Is he's he's at a really vertable state right now? No, she's working and new flesh. I'm sorry. This is the second one in new flesh I dance an old flesh. I sleep. I serve any master, but my prices are steep gas What am I gas at all says gas? Because when you're when you're asleep, you don't fart Read it again the beginning is confusing to me in new flesh. I dance in old flesh. I sleep I

Serve any master, but my prices are steep metabolism nicotine caffeine water But my prices are steep. What a metabolism. Nicotine, caffeine, water. So this is something babies have, but elderly don't, maybe? Is that right? No. Is it... It's when you're in your eye.

Does it have to do with human beings? It does not have to do with human beings. The answer is not anything that has to do. No, the... Wow. And wow and you found these riddles scrolled on up on a gas gas station bathroom wall or what would you get these this uh... uh... john dee on twitter says i write riddles for fun the old fashion talk any thirty white horses kind of riddles okay these writing riddles for fun fun for who we'll be exact i think these are i think these are very, very esoteric. They're very like, I think they're intentionally very hard

to understand. Okay. Also, I gotta say, Jonah, you included clues, but the clues that you included, I hesitate to read because they're so infuriatingly frustrating. Oh, do it, please. The clue, the clue the clue The clue for this riddle is and I'm assuming and I don't know I do not want to speak for Jonah But I'm assuming it is to be delivered in a condescending fuck you tone, which is what do we call very old flesh?

Whoa, yeah, that's the clue grandma In new flesh I'm kidding. And new flush I dance and old flush I sleep. I serve any master but my prices are steep. So what do we call old flush? We call it dry aged ribeye. 65 days Kansas City. Okay, maybe that, yes, maybe that at all.

I was really trying to understand what he meant by that. But I guess- Like a dried beef? I guess if you had like a really, you would need this if you had like a really dry beef or like really dry, like a really, maybe like an overcooked steak. Anyone's sauce. I'm giving you, I'm giving you,

I think the most talented I could possibly give. You would need this if you have a dry steak, you would need some sort of side dish or something to wash it down. I can eat that water. I can eat that steak. Knife in a fork. Knife is the answer.

What? I'm gonna read it one more time in the lead on. Yeah, yeah, hold on. I'm gonna read it one more time. I don't even read it one more time. Otherwise, I'm gonna throw my fucking computer across. No, you'll be fine. No, you're microtome.

Not yawning, you're imagining things. A new flush I dance, an old flush I sleep, I serve any master, but my prices are steep. Hey, you know what? That's fine, the answer was knife. I guess that could be an answer to that. So what do we call old flesh? Is supposed to lead us to knife?

I don't know. I truly don't know. Aaron, I believe you. What do you like about it? Most of it. I like the word. Do you think it's a break? This is it.

So thank you for submitting that, Jonah. And while we kind of ponder what we were supposed to, in Knife, we're back to square one. We're supposed to gather from that. We will take a quick break. One, two, three, four, eight, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble.

I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, and I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only website platform

for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and say let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms? Hey, Otto come here come here. Hey, what's what's going on?

I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have any Thing that like is there like a online store like it set up on my website to sell product? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool.

I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords or popular products and content on my prank website to prank the two of you. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for

Frank Squarespace You can connect to your store to vetted third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine dude We got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeline JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a pattern. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s,

but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear.

Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online,

so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed

therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash riddle, R's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the

space in the United JPMC. Hope you get home. Bye, am home. Who are we? I'm home. Who are we? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Monitoring your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, clink, clink. Oh, sorry.

I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses. So you can easily track your budget in real time

and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money Dotcom slash riddle. That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website I love you rocket money. I'm clank clank any of the website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, my, an oldie but a goodie, the blue book that I know that you all hate so much. And we're going out of business.

This is our going out of business sale. Everything must go, including three dirt bag hosts. Two more on and another one. I do want to see you seen. James and Aaron, you are the funny story I can think of as like the spirit Halloween store. So you two are employees or slash owners of a spirit Halloween store. And because of quarantine, nobody's going trick or treating. So everything must go and you're trying to get people to buy all the costumes.

Hey Josh. Oh yeah. What if we just like, I don't know, like, bought, like, like, bought some of this stuff for ourselves? What if we just like took it and we said that we sold it? Wait, you just want us to pay our own money for the costumes that we're selling? Fine, it was a dumb idea. Do you have any better ideas?

Trick or treating, spreeking over, man. I-No, I know Sarah. I just- I know when we went into business together, you told me that you had a strong business background. I just kind of want to make sure that you had a front of a green screen that had a business behind it for a long time. Great, so that's now making way more sense to me

because your plan was to purchase all of the stock we've already. Okay, I have another idea. I have an idea yeah let's rebrand all this stuff is Christmas stuff Christmas which Christmas werewolf Christmas books Christmas scares what do you think Christmas which I mean yes hello welcome to Halloween oh oh Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear Spear But it is perfect for Christmas. Oh, I guess in the window I saw some Christmas gourds, but I guess a Glove with blades is similar and if that's not your speed here is a Christmas gourd and by Christmas gourd We mean Christmas spider web and you can put it all over your bush and it will look like a spider-lips Okay, the store the you you saw, you saw the way to don't know what a gourd is.

I'm sorry. There you go. It's a Christmas gourd. It's actually a Joseph Gordon Levin costume from 5050. So it's just a, you do shave your head, basically, is the costume. But once you do shave your head, you glue all that hair to a friend's head, and that's your, and if that's's your style.

And if that's not your style. Here's a Christmas gourd and by Christmas gourd I mean slutty nurse costume. I do want to hear more about the spider webs that go in my pub. That's not what I said. See, that's not what I said. That is not what I said. Can you imagine someone taking off their pants and they have spider webs in their pubes? Those Halloween spider webs, that's no fun.

That's like the punch line to like any joke from the 80s. They give away a wet in the videos. Yeah. All right, the title of this one is Wonderful Weather. A ship sank in perfect weather conditions. If the weather had been worse, the ship would probably not have sunk. What happened? What happened? What happened? Was it a toy ship and it was on top of a frozen lake or something?

Attle. No. No, okay. That was not correct. The ship sunk in perfect weather. If it had been worse weather, it would not have sunk. It probably would not have sunk. Now we don't know for sure because this is a made up situation. It was like half frozen over.

And if it was full frozen over, it wouldn't have sunk. Adil sort of just said that. Yeah, Adil said toy ship in a little pond. But no, that is not the answer as well. It wasn't half frozen. Have you guys seen Disney's half frozen? Let's build up. Yep, I have seen it.

Let it go or don't. I don't care. It's just everyone half-assing it. The wickedly talented, the Dell. Okay, can you give me a hint? Because this one's annoying. Oh, God. Yeah, Aaron, I think I can, I think it definitely can give you a few hints for this one.

See. This accident happened at night. No other craft was involved. And it happened in the winter, a ship sank in perfect weather conditions. If the weather had been worse, the ship would probably not have sunk. What happened? So what ship? What ship is made for winter weather? Because for that ship is made for winter weather? Because for that ship it was.

What ship is made for winter. It was perfect weather. Would it be... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. This is a real ship. This is like a submarine. This situation is ripped from the headlines. Is it a submarine?

Adelaide is not a submarine. If it had been like snowing with the snow have balanced out the ship or some shit. Well, I don't know that's how snow or ships work, but I thought it believed me. I stood in front of a green screen of a ship for a really long time. So I know. I think if it had been snowing, I think if it had been snowing,

I believe the ship would not have sunk. That is correct. I got it. Yes. Friendship. Adel, it is correct. I got it. Yes. Friendship. Addle. It is friendship. When the winter comes around, everyone gets moody. A lot of friendships are sunk.

If it had been warm out, people would not have that seasonal depression. And they'd be, they say find you that winter ship to really just ship down with. No, it is not friendship. That is a wonderful answer. That's it, which is a subjective value judgment placed by me, not by the riddle book. I don't think we're gonna get this.

Aaron? That's a good tough one, is there clues? I, Aaron T, that you will get this. Adel, I did read all the clues, the accident happened at night, no other craft was involved, the accident happened in a winter. I can give you some additional clues.

You both know the name of this ship. Titanic. Yep, it is the Titanic. The ship was the Titanic. The ship hit an iceberg on a fine night when the sea was very flat. If the weather had been worse, then the lookouts would have been seen.

The waves hitting the iceberg or heard the iceberg. Icebergs make groaning noises when they move. Unfortunately, the iceberg wasn't seen and the rest is her story. So I wanna see a scene. So we all know Jack and Rose are the famous couple that was canonically on the Titanic, Tommy like one of your French girls. So Jack and Rose were the epitome of romance and young love on that ship.

We're going to see the two of you and you are um, brack and lows. Um, so you're like, you're like Jack and Rose, but like way less romantic, um, way less charming or good looking and you're both like, you're not young, um, and we're catching you on one of your heated moments.

I think, I, I think like what I did was I pinched myself in the growing region with my belt when I was sitting Care what you say you're not getting on this door The belt doesn't get in the water. There's no thing that you could say that's gonna listen Simp is he I me I have a growing injury let me on the door no I'm on the door I'm Family owns laws the door. No, I'm on the door. I'm family owned. Excuse me. I'm in one of the life rafts. I think you could both fit on that door. No, no. That gentleman, that gentleman, I do not like his look. I do not like his

mustache. I do not trust him. We'll wait for the next one mustache. Wait for the next door. Yes, for the next door to come along. If I could, if I could feel down into the water, I would be I'm so scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared.

You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared.

You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. You're scared. Not close. I, what, you know what? I can't wait to die. Because when I die, I'm sick and straight to the bottom. I'm going to the devil, and I'm telling him that you bleach your teeth.

Not if I die first. Not if I die first. I'll tell the devil you bleach your teeth. First of all, I don't bleach my teeth. I kiss you after you bleach yours. I get residual bleach, but it is not, you know what? I'm walking you. You're like the little bird that's inside of your crocodile.

I'm sorry. Die in the bottom of the Atlantic. Same. Like the little bird. The crocodile. I'm sorry. Thank you. This next scene, suggestion, also called a riddle, is called material witness.

In the fabric shop, the curtains are neatly arranged by style. The floral patterned ones are in a section marked floral. The plain ones are in a section marked plain, and the striped ones are in a section marked striped. But one pair with vertical blue stripes is not in the striped section. Why not? Okay, we have to assume the stripes have flowery on them. I'll take you to the fabric shop.

I'll let you pick some currants out. That's a kid's bob, 50 cents. Yeah, kid's bob, 50 cents. So we have to assume this is in a fabric shop, Aaron, we have to assume that this is Joanne's fabric and we know Joanne likes her drink. So I think she was just drunk and misplaced the stripes. Yeah, there's one Joanne that works at every Joanne's fabric. And she's drunk off her tits.

And she is messin' shit up in there. This you say drunk off her tits. And if you don't know, if you work at Joanne's fabrics and you don't know that Joanne, look at the mirror, because it's yeah, and if you don't know if you work in a Joanne fabrics and you don't know that Joanne look in a mirror because it's you If you can't spot the Joanne at the bucker table, it's you I love the idea of painting painting the picture of a very specific person at a workplace that would be like and if you can't find them, it's you a very specific person that a workplace that would be like, and if you can't find them, it's you. She's cutting diagonally on the fabric.

She doesn't give a fuck. So is this like searsucker or like what's the, is it a different, so it's vertical blue stripes. Is it vertical blue stripes or did you say it is vertical blue stripes. Vertical blue stripes vertical blue stripes and add all what's interesting about The guest's searsucker is it's not correct But when I listen to the podcast I hear sucker when I hear your frickin voice my man. I see one sucker Long wait long way to insult me, but I'll take it there and bear in reply except all insults

Uh-oh but I'll take it. Baron, Baron or Fire accepts all insults. Uh oh. Oh, we take it. Oh, no, no, no, no, please, no, I can't take it. Um, yeah, okay, they're not flowers, there's no flowers on the stripes. No, just vertical blue stripes, I'm assuming if it's vertical blue stripes, it's also like blue and white, basically.

You could also say white stripes in a blue background. Can I have a hint? Aaron not only can you have a hint, but I'll give you probably three wait can I also have those hints? I will actually you do one. There's only one hit to this so usually there's three today. There's only one They are perfectly normal curtains and not special in any way That's the hand. Perfectly normal. And not, yeah, that's the hand. Perfectly normal and not special in any way. But I would love to say that, you know,

isn't the some degree of specialness in your normality as well? Like everyone has something special about them and everyone is also very normal and the things that we experience make us part of the human condition. Fuck you. And these curtains, they are no different. These curtains don't run. Um, so they're vertical.

Everyone's phones just burst into flame after you said something earnest for the first time in the history of your life. The curtains are neatly arranged by style. Floral patterns in one section, plain in another section, striped in another section, but one pair with vertical blue stripes is not in the striped section.

Why, God, why? Because it's in the shower curtain section. Aaron, that's a really fucking great guess. And I would love it if a fabric shop also had shower curtains, too. Isn't plastic fabric? You're a fabric? Everything's a fabric shop, for it.

Aaron, I think that's a wonderful guess. No bullshit. That is not the answer here, but the way that your mind is functioning right now is the exact way that will lead you to success solving this riddle. Okay, so I'm going to check out that in the video. It's the store's curtains. Aaron, my dear. Did I get it?

Oh, you're joking. You got, my dear. Did I get it? Oh, you're joking. You got it exactly right. Did I? These curtains are not in that section because they are the curtains that the store has on their window. I don't like got it. Can I say, and this is, I'm being fully sincere, to solve a riddle in the blue book is like, is like drinking from the Holy Grail.

So if solving a riddle is like one point, Aaron just got a thousand points. Aaron, I'm never been prouder of you. I love you. I love you. I love you, James as well, and I'm going to bed. We saw a good 10, 15 minutes stuff in the show. No, I'm good. I'm good. And we're recording more stuff tonight. Good, good, good, Godspeed. Good night. Good night. Good, good, good, Godspeed. Good night. Good night. Good night.

I'm just glad that Jim is coming back in a day. I'm just saying that. All right, you guys ready for this next one? Yes. Denise died at sea while Harry died on land. People were pleased that Harry had died and even more pleased that Denise had died. Why was that? Oh, did you switch the email that we got and you switched it with Aaron and Adel?

The reason they were pleased with Harry's death and even more pleased with Denise's death is a little bit more than shopping for a lead. I'm sorry, Denise didn't see Harry died on land. They were pleased about Harry but even more pleased about Denise. Okay, I know little bit cold. They both died in Shodden Freud. I'm sorry, Denise died at sea, Harry died on land. They were pleased about Harry, but even more pleased about Denise. Okay, I know this one actually. They're fish. Aaron, they're not fish. I don't believe, but I do think there's something called

Hurricanes. Hurricanes. Hurricanes. Hurricanes. Addericaine everywhere, Herbibacaine. Adder you are wrong. Aaron, they are fish. Here are cane. Adder cane everywhere, herba-bacane. Adel you are wrong. Aaron, they are fish.

People hate fish. And canonically, when they die, people celebrate. And sorry, James, I want to revise my answer. You're very gay. I wanted to say they are hermenecane. They are deencane. No, Adel is correct. They are heracanes.

People are happy when the hurricane dies on land. But even more pleased when Denise died at sea. I want to see a scene. JPC you are a hurricane. Adel you are a man who lives in a lighthouse who's telling the hurricane to go away. Sorry, but you need to go you need to go back out to see oh Come on man. No, we just we had our flash. No, no, no, we had our fun But now you need to go I hear some money for your troubles and Money blew away you did that look look. I appreciate it, but I'm so like it we had fun. I am Spit I am I am I came out of the fun. I am. I am. I am.

I am, I came in at a category four. I'm going to category two point five right now. Let me just crash against the lighthouse. Fucking rip everything up. If for the night, maybe a little bit into tomorrow and then I'm gone. If you're going to go inside, could you die down a little bit?

What, how about this? How about this? I will, it will seem like could you die down a little bit? Uh, what about this? How about this? I will, it will seem like I've died down a lot. And then a little bit later, it's gonna get way worse again. Oh, yeah. I have to insist you have to go. And also, you should see up. Honey, I'm back from my trip.

Who, who is this? Uh, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, get out of here. Is this a hot pain? No, no, no, no, no, no. Try to kick away Hurricane with my foot. You know what? Hurricane I don't even care. He's been seeing tornadoes and mudslides and all sorts of shit. No.

So you know, I just go ahead and go be with the Hurricane. I don't even give a shit. Wait, are you serious? Tell me you haven't been with one of those fucking tropical storms. I, I have had many Italians with many tectonic plate and all sorts of natural weather. You mother fucker. You know what?

Well that's one thing I haven't done. You know what? Uh, I'm assuming your name's Diane. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh. Yes.

Why don't you-you wanna come-you wanna come with me? I'm just-I'm-I'm I'm gonna go you know what fuck this place Fuck this light house. I'm going to Tahiti. I'm gonna destroy it Would you like to come with me? I would love to come with you. What are you doing? Drive in a convertible off a cliff? Exactly what we're gonna do. That's exactly save Man hurricanes beauties in the eye of the beholder Okay, here you go. This riddle is called mechanical advantage Oh man, hurricanes, beauties in the eye of the beholder.

Okay, here you go. This riddle is called Machanical Advantage. I'm saying that right, machanical, case you just dropped it in clean. A driver had a problem with his car in a remote area miles from the nearest garage. He stopped at a little candy store where his problem was quickly solved.

How? He had diabetes. His car had diabetes. He had a Wilford Brimley car with a bad case of diabetes. Adel, that is incorrect. So guy had a problem with his car. It's either incorrect or it's inconsequential to the... His car wasn't starting? Was that what was the problem? What was the problem with his car? So the, it doesn't say, it says it driver had a problem with his car. He, his rear view mirror came off. He needed to go buy gum, choose some gum,

stick it on the rear view mirror, and then have it. That's a great answer. Let's see if that is the right answer. That sounds plausible. I'm gonna guess it's now. It's not no. Did he replace his fan belt with like Taffy? It is correct in that gum is the solution,

but not to his problem. So I'm gonna give that one to you. I think that I will give that one to his car run on gum. Yeah, so I got it. Sorry, Aaron. Yes. It's a gun car. A gun car would move so slow. It's six feet of gun car for me, not them. Um, at all. No, you guys like to guess what he used the gun for.

It wasn't to fix his mirror. Um, he had, he, it says he, he bought several packs of chewing gum. Tune them. and then fixed the... Is it to stick something? Stick the four tires on? It's not to stick the tires on that. To keep the hood shut. I would love to be straight on the side of the road with the addolings.

What about, put a gum on the tires and stick them back on. Put a cotton candy in the tank. No, it's not that. It isn't practical. It's like the battery wires. It has to do with wires. It has to do with the weather or slash, I will say it's raining very heavily.

The windshield wipers? No, it's not the windshield wipers. So how does gum help deflect rain? Well, normally if you're in a car, you're probably not gonna get rained on. Mm-hmm. Unless gum to stretch it out because he's in a convertible.

Yes, he butts several packs of chewing gum. Adolfick's, we existed a cartoon. He thinks reality is a cartoon. JPC, the blue book sucks so bad. You can't be mad about our answers. I'll never forget the time when Adela and I was giving Adela ride and we drove into a dead end and he was like I'll fix this and he got out of the car painted a big tunnel. I was literally gonna say the same thing.

And he hit right into the tunnel. We were right to the tunnel. We came out at the other end. It was perfect. No, it was it was a leak in his roof. He chewed the gum and then he plugged the leak in his roof with the gum Addle I want to see a scene with you and Aaron. So Aaron was giving you a ride Your car Aaron's car has broken down And Addle you have nothing but non-helpful solutions with how to have to fix the car

Oh my god, and it's pouring Of course, oh sorry's pouring. Of course. Oh, sorry, I parked back there. I saw that you were broken down. What's going on? Hey, dude. Yeah, you just like, you seem really nice. You just have like a little bit of this spooky energy.

Oh, because of this hook for a hand? Yeah, and it's holding a lantern, an old-timey lantern. So it's just sort of like a hat and a hat. Oh, yeah, you notice my two hats, huh? Yeah, yeah it's a lot going on I'm a dad and a chef you got an eye patch on both eyes which is like sort of who said that what oh I see I get it that's just a little missing eye joke have you tried kissing the muffler sorry have you tried kissing your muffler? Oh you did say what I thought you said. What would that do? Might help. You have to treat a car like

you treat a horse. You have to relax it. Maybe put some salt in the exhaust pipe. You would kiss a horse's ass? Sure. You've never done that? Okay I think it's just like a flat tire. Okay well let me get your number. And a smile. It's funny because that's the hell we live in. And in Brav we think we like how do we take an unredebable character and make him worse? Have a masterful it's up. I never got this sense sense I'm like Aaron doesn't want to play with this character. So I'm like, how can I make him just absolutely the way? Snowblown, blam, blam, blam.

And okay, this is the last one for today. A politician made a speech that saved his life even before he gave the speech. How? Made a speech that saved his life even before he gave the speech. How? Made a speech that saved his life even before he gave the speech. He, uh, I don't know. Last night, a DJ saved my life with the speech. DJ Tanner in full house. Speech about drugs. Um, politician gave a speech that saved their life. Was it something we're like someone was about to stab them and then because it was televised,

they didn't wanna be identified or something? Does it have something to do with like cameras and being televised? It does not have anything to do with cameras, but I just love the idea that someone's like, oh, don't wanna? Someone backs off because like, this is a telemime watching.

Yeah. I don't know how people like to get to use. I don't know. He's a politician. It's a man. Yeah. From history, my dear boy, making a speech that saved his life even before he gave the speech, let me give you a couple of clues. He was like supposed to be somewhere else.

Is it? No, he was exactly where he needed to be. Probably. Any speech of the same length would have had the same effect. So it was not the content of the speech that saved his life. Any speech of the same word, countage, or the same length would have had the same effect. Did something fall in a spot?

No, and also someone did to Addlescredit make an attempt on this gentleman's life. It's William McKinley. It's Regan. Regan got shot, right? Was, who was that? Regan did get shot. Yes, he already got shot at or something.

Is it something where like if this president had made a shorter speech or longer speech, they would have like made their train and that that train crashed or something? Is it one of those hyper-train crash? Is it a historical thing? No, no, no. So it is also, I will say,

that someone did make an attempt on their life. So it does have something to do with like A. A. R. It's not FDR. It's an assassination attempt on this person. So an attempt, so it's not Lincoln. Well, the politician made a speech that saved his life even before he gave the speech. Okay, so. Is it a president? It is gave the speech. Okay, so it is a president.

It is a president, Aaron, yes, it's a president. The only politicians we care about. This politician gave a speech that said CPR should be everyone should know CPR. And then later he was shot in the throat and they they hematized his throat up. Reagan? Yeah, they said that when you shot in the throat, the only thing that could stop is CPR. There was a attempt on FDR. Uh huh.

McKinley, uh, Reagan, uh, Kennedy Lincoln. Um, there's one more. There's more. Yeah, I think there was actually a couple more. Uh, you want me, you want to clue that won't help? Yes. It was in 1912. Okay. So 1912, Okay, so 1912.

Well, here's where you fucked up, my man, because I know all the presidents. So going backwards, we have Trump, Obama, Bush, Clinton, other Bush, then we have Reagan, then we have Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and the other. I love your president. I'm embarrassed and I feel like I should know this. Is there another hint that you could give us? That might happen. Teddy Roosevelt.

Teddy Roosevelt. It is Teddy Roosevelt. But now we need... But the question isn't who this was. The question is what happened. So how did... It's a speech where you said, speak softly, but carry a big stick.

Content of the speech doesn't matter. Speech saved his life before he even gave it. That doesn't make sense. I know. How could a speech say real life? Oh, is this like pre-cogs? What's that Tom Cruise movie? Yes, this is Minority Report.

Thank you. So Teddy Roosevelt was the first founding father of the Minority Report Department. I want to see you seen. founding father of the minority report department. I want to see you seen. Aaron, you are you are president in 1912. You're not necessarily Ted Roosevelt, but you are the president in 1912. You're about to give a speech, but then you go to a spoo key fortune teller played by I'm unnerving advice. Hello, I'd like to get some advice on ScootidooBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeBeeB the cocaine and the lobby is not complimentary it's just my lobby cocaine so damn it all the hell in a hand basket and I'm sure that there is Andrew Jackson before me and John Adams and John C. Adams. Yes, yes, do the great. Some other people all job, which people I'm the first good one.

Come on in, yes, please, please come on in. Ah, yes. Oh, no, no. No. What is it? Is a woman gonna be president one day? Yes, please please come on in. Ah, yes. Oh no, no, no. What is it? Is a woman gonna be president one day? No, I just I'm sorry. I from out the window. I I saw someone trying to I'm going to the butt. Oh my horse. Read us read us the information. Read us read us. Here's a little history lesson. Ted Roosevelt killed that girl.

The politician was Ted Roosevelt, the American president in 1912 in Milwaukee. He was shot in the chest. He was saved because the bullet was slow. Does it pass? He had a bifolded manuscript of the speech in his breast pocket. He went on to make us,

that make the speech later on that same day that he was shot. That's right. So back, let me try to see if I can do this for you guys. Back in the olden times, they had to print everything on paper. There wasn't. How are we, how are we too much? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Let's, let me, let me see if I can explain this in a different way. Oh, is this one Steve Gutenberg invented the press? Okay, no, no, hold on, how do we do this? Kyle XY is a show. Who is that? Okay, everybody, this is gonna work. Okay, add a ABC family. ABC family.

And that brings us to the end of our little show. I hope you've enjoyed our little dance or a little play for you. We're like kids putting on a sketch show for their parents. We'll see. And that brings us to the end, then we put a little hat down on the floor and we kids putting on a sketch show for their parents. We'll see. And that brings us to the end. Then we put a little hat down on the floor.

And we say, Mommy, daddy, did you like it? You want to get back together? Yeah. Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plow? Just follow me, Aaron Keefe 10 on Instagram for stuff over there and Aaron Keefe 2 on Twitter for the very limited stuff over there. And I have a new Tumbler that you can follow.

It is called errandsneck.com. It's all pictures of the side of errandsneck. Sometimes her skin is stand, sometimes it's not so tan, and it's just kind of fun to see her hair kind of swoop against it. And you're gonna hear the FBI come to your door and find four, three. Hold on, there's a knock at the door.

Excuse me, sir, I'd like to give you the medal of honor. Thank you, FBI. James, anything to plug? Was the FBI that was coming to his door the female body inspector's medal of honor? Because that's Aaron's neck. Yeah, don't go looking for that. I'll use my plugs to cancel.

Adults plugs will do. That's something that we can't do and we do do most weeks. I'll just say that I'm doing Twitch streaming so you can come and check me out on Twitch. I stream like almost every day and it's a shark barkman on Twitch. So follow me over there, Aaron.

In 1912, the president of the United States was almost killed during a solar eclipse, ah, but it wasn't the sun that was eclipsing it was. A man will be president forever Jupiter! Bye forever! Hey, if you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon episode. It's another return to hay relationship relationship. If you want to hear that, plus all of our bonus content, just go to patreon.com slash hayrittle riddle, join the clue clue for $5 or the review crew for $8 and get all of our back catalog. Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick,