Hey Riddle Riddle - #105: Milk Store with Geoffrey James and Reilly Anspaugh!

Episode Date: July 22, 2020

Everyone start cleaning the house-we have guests! The delightful hosts of Review Revue, Geoffrey James and Reilly Anspaugh, are here! You can find this fellow Headgum podcast wherever you find podcasts! We can’t recommend it enough! In this episode we have gambling, rambling letters, vampires and JP Riddles. There are some audio issues in this episode! Just a heads up.Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. with the 41st pick in the 2020 NBA draft. The Seattle Supersonic select, a 28 year old woman out of Chicago who's never played sports, Aaron Keef. Okay, first of all, that is hurtful, that the implication I've never played sports is hurtful. Second of all, I feel really honored to be joining the team. I hope I don't let you guys down. Okay, we found out there's been a trade. Aaron Keef has been traded already.

She's being traded to an urban outfitters in Virginia. Okay, I feel less confident about that somehow. With the 42nd pick in the 2020 NBA draft, the Charlotte Hornets, these are not teams anymore. The Charlotte Hornets select John Patrick Cohen Now that the rules is a dog can't play basketball swish That has to be a new t-shirt that just says wolf period swish period sure why not?

Isn't that a Katy Perry song? the show. Why not? Isn't it a Katy Perry song? You mean a fireworks? From her greatest album ever, that one that came out when she had short hair. It's me. It's me. It's me. Katy Perry, it's me. It's me.

I'm a firework. I'm a plastic bag. I was going to say plastic bags. So I'm also a plastic bag. We got to get a bit more of We don't do getting rid of this. And welcome to the show. And we also have some special guests joining us. This is our first lockdown guest.

So virtual guests, please welcome to the show, Jeffrey James and Riley Anspot. Woo! I'm getting pulled over, guys. We got to be going. We got to be getting pulled over. She's a Rick Flair. Oh, we're coming in hot.

We're on one. We're on Hey Riddle Riddle. Jeff, they let us on for some reason. I'm excited to see Aaron resurrect the Seattle Supersonics as a plastic bag. Yeah, everyone. As I said, Seattle Super Sonics and Charlotte Horn is how, like, both these teams no longer are in the cities.

They both move cities. You're gonna watch an eight-part documentary of how I changed. Yes. I bring it back from the dead. Absolutely. Well, you guys, I'm interested in to hear how your lockdown is going.

Jeffrey, you mentioned that you're staying with your family right now? Yeah, I've been home in Cleveland, Ohio. So I'm pretty, I'm almost in your guys's neck of the woods for the better part of a semester here. But I'm, which has been nice because I don't have a yard in LA. So it's been nice to have a yard and my sister's cat is here. So that's been fun, but I am going back at the end of the month.

So it's been a nice summer vacay to see the fam and to have free food for a while. Yeah. And to avoid LA counties spike in numbers, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Love your food, the awesome. Yeah, I'm petrified, but I smile. Jeffrey, you said you got some of that sweet, sweet Cleveland food. And of course, Cleveland's famous dish is regular hamburger. Parogues. Parogues. Yeah. Regular hamburger. I saw someone post a picture online of an Ohio style breakfast pizza, which looked to be pizza dough, baked beans, and fried eggs. Is that a real thing?

That can be really- So basically, what you have to do is it's a flour tortilla, hidden valley ranch, vegan, I guess, mayonnaise on the day, which is the cheese for some reason, because you over bake it, and then you could put some, kind of like what Adel said, just like ground beef that's kind of well done. Is this real?

I've never heard you talk about this. No, it's not real. Listen man, I don't know Ohio. It could be. Everyone in Ohio is saying it's just nodding. You're gonna do that, that's it. See, this is why LeBronch. And that's a branch.

And that's a branch. Riley, how is your lockdown? It was wild. Right now, it is my boyfriend staying with me and my roommate. But at the beginning of lockdown, it was my sister had flown out with my four-year-old nephew before lockdown happened before your lockdown

quarantining to visit. And even before she came out, we're like, maybe you shouldn't. My mom was kind of even more cautious. Like, that's not gonna happen. She's like, I think she's, like, I think Vanessa's gonna get stuck here. She won't be able to go back to May

and we're like, that'll never happen. And then suddenly, it's like my sister, my boyfriend, my mom decided to come, a four year old and a lab puppy. We're all just in my house for like, sounds like a set for like a month. It really was. Yeah, but your mom says that every time Vanessa comes to LA,

she's like, I think she's going to get stuck here. And you're like, we're talking. I said that in 2014. She keeps saying it until she's finally right. And so now she doesn't say anymore because it has. Now she's like, yeah, but it's like, it's now. Exactly. But it's been good.

Been doing a lot of paint by numbers. Oh, so nice. My roommate, like, just started doing it. And I'm like, oh, that looks amazing. And it is, it's, oh my god. I couldn't recommend it at all. So it's been the summer of numbers painted or otherwise. My roommate was complimenting my formatted painting. and I was like, actually, yeah, it's

pretty fucking good. My girlfriend just ordered some paint by number. She was telling me about it yesterday, she's very excited for it. It's great. It's, oh, there's no better high than when you finish a number and you move on to the next one. And then you get frustrated by how many spaces you have to fill with that. It's a chaotic

cycle that repeats itself, but it's quite nice. See what I like to do is I like to buy existing paintings. I'll go to like a thrift store or a cell phone or even sometimes at auction at Sotheby's I'll buy a piece of art. And then what I do is with marker, I'll write in numbers into each part. And that to me is satisfying. That to me is like, I's kind of a reverse engineering. And it's almost like Sudoku, where I'm like, what number goes where? Have I used this already?

Is that surreal? I have to figure out the color. So you're spending like 30k to make your own Sudoku. Yeah, but it's so, it's so nice. Yeah, Riley, I guess what you could say is the podcast is doing really well, so. So. And we should mention, before we get into our riddies and pussies,

we should mention the Jeffrey and Riley are part of the head gum family. They are on the show and they have their own podcast called review review, which we will not spell, which we will not spell. You have to figure that out yourselves. That's another one of the puzzles for the week. Yeah, and we will accept payment 30,000 over. Do you guys accept ruined paintings as payment because we need to look at this? That looks like a squandered moneigh behind us.

Yes, yes. Since we're bringing up people's backgrounds, it's taboo to do on Zoom, but Riley, it's driving me absolutely crazy. You have, you have, you have, you have like a blank wall behind you with one pink post-it note. Is that art?

Is it art? Is it a half note, what it says? It says, does it say get more post-it note? No, my theory is, instead of, what do you think it says? Everyone make a guess. What do you think it says? I think it's blank.

I think instead of doing like paint swatches, because you're thinking about painting your wall hot pink. And so you just have that as like a test. That's my guess. I think it says, you are loved. And it's just a daily reminder. That I, that I, that I, it's like, I don't even look at it, but I wake up

and I just know it's behind me. It's there. I'm not gonna turn around. Jeff, your guess? I think, I think it says, find ruined painting. So that one's know it's behind me. It's there. I'm not gonna turn around. Jeff, your guess? I think it says find ruined painting. So that one's exactly where Adel's thing is gonna go. Got it. Does your post it, does your post it note say,

is it a list of people you need to kill? Close, it says, okay, are you guys drum roll please? A synchronized zoom drum roll please. Impossible, but. Drum drumroll please a synchronized zoom drumroll please? Impossible Underwhelming but it just a little hey, I love you from my boyfriend. Okay, there. I said it. I said it We just leave all notes around the house and what's actually I'm noticing about this that I never have noticed before and now it's gonna be crazy. It's not even centered above the bed. It's like I still on the one side. That's the first thing I clued into. But yeah, it is a hot ping-ponged post-it note on a blank white wall because no art

above the bed because California earthquake. So this will be the least lethal thing to fall on my face and my sleep. I guess that's kind of cute. But I know in my situation I see my partner every second of every day. And if she left me a post it, I would like rip it down and be like, this is exhausting. You're like, I know, I know. And this is a waste of paper. I know and I'll see you at lunch. God damn it. So Daniel writes, I love you and puts it above the bed. What are you right to his notes? Like are they cute and sweet or?

Um, it's, it's just kind of like a list of things throughout the day that I've noticed him doing wrong. So he'll read me things that he loves about me and I'll just say like, you know, you overcook the eggs. So it's like a really nice back and forth that we have. That's only fair yeah just to even it out. So our the concept for our show is Riddles which is sort of a fun nightmare that we live in. So welcome. Those are car dreams Aaron. What is it like work for nightmare when it's like really good and really fun and you get to kiss your crush? Okay, so you get a sex nightmare Okay, what's cream what's cream? Sorry, I I love that. So I'm gonna be Old Man puzzles and read some rentals.

Should there be a prize this episode for who gets the most rentals? $100,000. $100,000. $100,000 by any means. $100,000 by any means. High rollers. Aaron, before we get into the riddles, which I definitely want to get into,

it's been about 10 minutes or so. So I do want to see a scene. Let's go ahead and get the ball rolling on that. And so what we're going to do is, Riley, you're going to be in a relationship with JPC. You've been leaving JPC a ton of little notes around the house and what not. And JPC, you're fed up with it,

and you're finally having that confrontation. Yeah, so I guess I don't know where to start. I mean, I think I figured out what's going on. And I'm sorry, you're coming into this situation so behind I've been playing all of this out in my head. For the past three months, I think I've been losing my memory. And I think I've been leaving myself notes to try to get my memory back. But I don't remember the notes that I'm writing. I don't remember the things that I'm reading. So what I think happened I've been piecing this together. All right. I was giving my wife insulin. No

that's all that's immediately out. You're here my wife. Yeah, no no no, don't worry honey. I've I've been leaving the nose That's my love language my love languages is words of affirmation So I like to just leave it around the house I thought you think it was a nice thing that I'm like, oh, you know, you look good today and hey remember to remember to get milk You know, I I tracked down a man at a milk store and I killed him. I killed the man I killed the man at an overwise deli because I thought that he had hurt you I You got all that from go get milk. I need it for pancakes. Yes. I I thought that pancakes were our future And I thought I had to kill this milkman to secure our future I the the numberology you weren't using numerology on this

It's 3 p.m. Maybe let's go for a walk Okay, so I went to buy a walk at a Macy's and I ended up strangling a macy's employee Jesus Christ. I okay. I'm so sorry. You know what? Let's just erase the last three buzz. No, that's not good. No, I think we're a little too far past that I went I went to the bill I went to the bill store James you are losing your memory You didn't say what year you didn't say what year that scene was in I'm not stupid because in the 50s in the 50s That giant super More just milk store that sounds disgusting There's a way into summer is the egg store at what year you're gonna say milk delivery people who's whole job it is to deliver milk they had to be a brick and mortar milk store, right?

It's called a farm. Yeah Exactly are we ready for our first riddle? Absolutely. Okay. Yes I'm a this is from Maddie. So thank you Maddie for submitting this a man wakes up Oh, this is from Maddie. So thank you, Maddie, for submitting this. A man wakes up, prepares the same breakfast he has every morning and then dies. What happened?

This riddle is stupid and frustrating and Maddie said that when she submitted it. So the breakfast he has every morning is one tenth of a poison. And on a 10th day, he... I love how you chose one tenth because there's nothing about how many days it's been. And on a 10th day, he... I love how you chose one 10th because there's nothing about how many days it's been. It's just like, you just sucked out

that it's the 10th day. It's the breakfast. It's the same breakfast. And can I ask a question about the breakfast? Is it like a normal breakfast or is Adel on to the right train of thought with the employees in breakfast? I'd say it's a normal breakfast. It's a normal breakfast or is is add on to the right train of thought with it being a poison breakfast. I'd say it's a normal breakfast.

It's a normal breakfast. I will say this is just going to be a shot in the dark. You don't have enough information to adequately guess this. So you can just have fun with it. Aaron, when you say normal breakfast, just to clarify real quick, is it an Aaron normal breakfast or like a normal human being breakfast? Oh, okay. Yeah, human being.

I don't know. I'm't know. I'm still learning. And when you say this is a shot in a dark, is that how he died? Nice. Nice. No. On Jovie Cullen.

Nope. Yeah. Normal human breakfast. What's a normal Aaron breakfast? Just crying over Bolivspaghetti, you made them before. Got it. Okay. So eggs then. made them before. Got it. Okay, so eggs then. Egg.

Yeah. Got it. Well, actually his breakfast includes eggs. Oh, what's important? I don't know. None of this is important. I can't stress this enough. I'm starting with one of the most frustrating riddles so everyone just gets used to it right

out of the gate. All right. I'm sorry for asking during a quarantine lockdown for coronavirus if this man's breakfast was important. I started to have my world view skewed by what is it is not important? Was this man Jimmy Dean and he got tired of looking at himself and jumped off a building? No. Okay. Did this man have enemies, frenemies? You got killed by one of his frenemies. No, but I will give you the beginning part of the answer, which is the man is a mountain climber on a climb.

Well, he makes his breakfast. You fool, you just gave us everything. No, I didn't. He chokes on the eggs. No. So the man's a mountain climber. He's trying to reach this summit of K2 or whatever that thing is called.

And he goes to drink orange juice. Ha, ha, ha. It's frozen due to the altitude. And he basically swallows a popsicle of orange juice and that can flush in a certain he dies. Close but no. I love that. That's the most stubborn man on the planet who's like, no, the orange juice is fine.

It's not close but it's close with how dumb of an answer it is. So close but cigar? Yes. Nope. Nope. Nope. Does it have anything to do with altitude? No.

That would be a good answer. This is a bad answer. I think I'm going to give it to you. Hold on. We can guess. We're Riley. Jeff, do you have anything? He, but it does have to do with eggs somehow.

He is eating eggs and then he puts something on the eggs and the thing he puts on the eggs creates a domino effect of tragedy. Oh my God. He's eating eggs, he's a mountain climber. All right, let's go through all this because you can put on eggs. Never mind, with a bowl.

That's hot sauce, too too hot. He falls off his It blows him away. Does he put Does he put human on the eggs? Then read the label and say, did I just put come on my eggs and then jump off? Because now he's eating come and it's like the albatross riddle where like years ago he ate it on a desert island. and it's like the Albatross riddle where like years ago he ate it on a desert island. It's come. The answer's come. He is down to Serrano and his name is John O. He is blown away by the rhyme.

He is blown away by the rhyme. He is, it's a spice that he puts on it that causes, I'm just going to just you. Is this a pepper sneeze? Yes, it's a spice that he puts on it that causes. I'm just going to do it to you. Is this a pepper sneeze? Yes, it's a pepper sneeze. When he went to put pepper on the eggs, he accidentally breathed some in sneeze then caused an avalanche which killed him.

I want to see a scene. Okay, so Jeffrey, you are going to be making some breakfast for your roommates. Your roommates are gonna be Adel and Aaron. They have known this about you for a long time, but you keep trying accidentally inhaling, accidentally quote unquote inhaling pepper, and they're pretty fed up with all of your excuses

for how you're getting pepper in your nose accidentally. Okay. Morning, sleepy heads. Morning. You're for huevos ranchados. Yeah, but I just, yeah, just say it normal. Sorry, I just, just, just call them either ranch eggs or hot yolks. Hot yolks before we do hot yoga.

How about that? I got our whole morning plan. Hey, dude, you got a little something under your nose. It's... I'm glad you noticed I've been trying to grow out a little stat. Mike have you been doing pepper again? No I just like I'm like having a ball like obviously we're in quarantine I'm trying to take up new hobbies and sure if I like to partake and have a little phone on our son. Buddy, buddy, buddy, slow down. Anytime you do pepper, you talk so fast.

And I know, like, hyped on breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know what you, I know you think you sound interesting right now, but you're not. Okay. Pepper does that to you. Pepper makes you think you're the most fascinating person

in the room. Mike, when you were addicted to salt, it really tested our friendship. But we were like, just don't, whatever you do, you don't get addicted to something. You put in food again. And then Mike, you went ahead and- Tested our friendship.

It tested my cholesterol, all right? You guys couldn't give a shit. So now I make you wav- sorry, ranch eggs. And you know what, I'm sorry. I'm so happy. You have some Tabasco coming out of your nose. Just, you know, that's what it tills. Pepper corn gets some seed to seed. I'm so happy you have you have some Tabasco coming out of your nose

Yeah, see Blood nature He snorts such weird breakfast materials that you your first guesses to basketball That guy would have a really delicious brain if I was was a zombie, I would eat that guy's brain. Ranch eggs is foul. With a side of foul, as in he had a chicken breast. Enough of that. I also think hot yolks before hot yoga is that made my soul barf.

Just like the thought of that was like, ugh, yeah, oh switch. One time I had a milkshake with my friend in the hot yoga and I wanted to die. Oh my god. Of course. Sweating dairy. I was like, oh, it was like the night I had entirely white russians.

I was like, I'm not meant to be a person anymore. I can't. I'm mostly just dairy. I had a mouth and then ran a 5K. Discussing. Could I have an entirely white Russian? Just keep them calm. So just heavy whipping cream then? My friend was like, I will pay for your drinks the entire night, but you have to drink white Russians.

And I was like, I'm 22. I'm going to live forever. Let's do this. Oh. And I was like, I'm 22. I'm going to live forever. Let's do this. Oh, and I was sick. Of course. That's one of my favorite things to do on a night out, or like, at dinner with friends. That was your favorite. Colorado. Right before we went on lockdown. And my friend and his girlfriend had to keep getting up to go to the bathroom because we'd gone skiing that day. And they drank a lot of water. And my other friend and I start kept ordering them the worst drinks possible. So we sent them a virgin white Russian.

We sent them melon ball. And it was, it was everything. And it got to the point where they would rather soil themselves than get up and get another drink. Yes sir. What is a virgin white Russian? It's like milk. It's milk.

That's what we call now bino-eukranian. Oh no. Oh. All right. Here's milk. That's what we call now, binoecranian. Oh, no. Oh, no. All right, here's your next riddle. This is another warm up riddle. Should be kind of easy. Are we ready? Yes.

Yes. What has six faces, but does not wear makeup? Has 21 eyes, but cannot see. What is it? Erroring eyes, all. What? You six face, this. It you got to see. What is it? What is it? What is it? What? You six face, bitch. It's got 21 eyes.

But does not wear makeup has 21 eyes, but cannot see. Right, you know it. I do, but I won't, like, I don't know. I know. It's for other people to get it. Yeah. I just got it. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Yeah. So we all know it. So if Jeff doesn't want to say first, we all definitely know it. Well, you well You know we could all say at the same time and that sort of like muffly just mouth Totally, okay some sort of demon. All right, so we're gonna do three two one the wrong. Sorry, I don't what sorry We all agree it's some sort of Greek demon Three two one a bag of potatoes. I know. A die.

The devil on the strike. And so we all got it. And we all heard what we each other said. And I think we can move on, because we all know it. Everyone knew it was dice. I want to see a scene. Jeff, JPC and Riley, you were three friends, you're in Vegas together. And Riley just like won't go to bed.

Like Riley just is like still gambling and you're trying to like steer her to get off the floor and call it a night. All right, here we go, here we go, sneak out to one time. Boom, there we go. We're on a streak, boys. Come on, white Russians all around. Who's with? Ah, ah.

Riley. Yeah. It's like five in the morning Why don't we go to sleep and then come back and do this tomorrow? Hey, how about how about if if you if you get blackjack right now then I'll go to bed, huh? Bet on that. I'll bet on that You just threw dice and now you want to walk across the floor to go to play blackjack. I am awake I am ready. We are on a high Famously, you'll never come down from a high when you're in Vegas. So I think let's keep this streak while we're hot Get a couple drinks. David's David's David's Davis. I know like we were like okay

Share a left you let's drive the Vegas. Let's cheer you up But like we can only do it so much like we already we drove you napped in the car So you kindpped in the car. So you kinda reap the benefits. And that was really nice to you to drive. I feel like really, really energized. And like, I'm not even thinking about the heartbreak, which is really cool.

So you guys are being great friends. And if you guys stay longer, like, I'll be so happy. Yeah, I mean, Davis, we don't wanna be buzz kills now, but you keep talking about how you're on a hot streak and you can't stop winning. You've lost almost every bet you've placed. Right. You just threw dice on a blackjack tape.

Yeah. Yeah. And we said that we had you for this weekend. So the money is not important to us, but now that it's been, it's like $2,400. We should maybe take a break and enjoy some of the free amenities of the casino, like the rooms that we paid for. Yeah. Cheryl wanted a break and that's over here, right? So we are going to be playing the cards. I'm sure it's not a break, enjoy some of the free amenities of the casino, the rooms that we paid for. Yeah, Cheryl wanted a break and that's over here, right? So we are going to be playing the cards.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but man, I didn't want to let you know you did roll snake eyes and I would recommend splitting those. Always, always, always split snake eyes. This is my new favorite game. You're going to play Blackjack and the highest each card could get his six. You're not gonna win Yeah, I think he wants you to play that because it's very much his favorite Hey, man, hey, no, if it's been you are not helping our first It's hard you're not helping so you want to stay?

You know We're gonna split we're gonna split the snake, guys. Oh my god. Oh my god. I have cards and you have dice, so. I'm showing a king, so let's go ahead and split those. Oh my god. And now the roll, that's another, that's a three. That's four over here, roll here, that's a five.

So I can ask, what's the buy-in for this table? It's low, right? Tell me it's low, because it's our cash. Well, the chips are on the table, and you can go ahead and say what it is right now, the denomination. Yeah. It's like $800.

$800. And the money doesn't matter. These are my friends. These are my friends. They said money doesn't matter. They are the best friends in the world. Really help me out. Hold on, hold on.

What's your name? Your name is Zander with two X's. That's correct. Wait, it was named after the Buffy character. Isn't, didn't Cheryl say that she cheated on you with someone named Zander with you? Hey, baby, I'm back from the oh my god. Oh shit, Cheryl.

Oh my god. Oh, you look terrible. Have you been drinking a ton of white rations? I've only had white rations all night. How could you tell? This is Xander. We are in love. Uh, baby, you got some pepper on your mouth.

Oh shoot. I'm doing fine. Oh. Oh shoot. I'm doing fine. Oh I'm only doing white Russians all night. How could you tell? She's on a bit of a pepper grinder Speaking of taking a break to do get some white Russians and pepper Which is an awful thing that would not do We're gonna take a little break and we will be right back with more ripples and puddles

Hey GPC Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all.

Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything for products to cut into time all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like,

is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merchant crepe has a income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business, and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website to Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace, you can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his

poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You've seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. And better help is entirely online,

so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends

to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs,

and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.

H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the Hope you get home. I am home. Who are we? I

clink clink clink. Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helpscels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also wanna give a toast.

Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket Money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time

and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, well, Clint, Clint, Clint, over three million people have used Rocket Money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop.

No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle. That's rocket money dot com slash riddle. Rocket money dot com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rockup money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you. With the 195th pick and 2020 NBA draft, the Chicago Bulls select J.P. Riddles. Well, well, well. My old friend of Bull. And everything I really quite get went over on you

after the last time we ran to each other. I tried to take your peanut butter. Famously, you got that in your your mouth you kicked me right in the teeth knocked me out unconscious mr. riddles my friends haven't met you yet they're my two best friends from school can you just like introduce I don't care who they are I saw that basketball first it's mine I know that thing's full of gold and I'm taking that to the mountains I'm sorry guys mr. riddles he wrote swan lumps it's sort of like a goose bumps spin off he's one of our a goose bumps, spin off, he's

one of our recurring characters and he's really scary, he lives with raccoons. No, no, no, I'm not scary, that's a lie, my teeth are scary, because so many of them are missing. Can you give us a flash of that smile? Oh, sorry, sorry. Oh, sorry. Don't look away from it, don't look away from it, don't look at it look to look away from it. Don't you look at it? And he's not a recurring character. He writes a recumbent bike

Is that corn on the cob and a holster on your boat? It's not mine. I'm holding it for a friend But I would never eat my only weapon Leave me to fit oh you drop this Mr. Riddles. A coupon to the milk store. Yeah, this is my favorite part of this one. Everyone notices things about me that I have no control over. I think so. I'm not the same.

That's how you got hundreds, right? You got hundreds, right? You're seven thick. That's not possible. There's still a dancing them too. People are so much. He's still a dancing to them too. People are so much. He's definitely weird, old-timey cook.

He's definitely playing in Europe. I'm gonna hit us with another riddle. I think we've had some variation of this on the show before, but I don't care. A man goes out drinking every night and doesn't come home until the wee hours of the playing. Are you freaking old? I told you I was sorry. No matter how much he drinks the night before, the man never has a hangover. The man is 17 years old. He's going to a soda fountain. The man's in a frat.

Does it say he drinks alcohol or just says he drinks? He drinks, where's the man's home and what is his favorite drink? Where's the man's home? Why do we have to solve these questions about that? Wait, he's so drunk, he can't remember his address. What's the man's star sign and any gram number? I would say he's a Scorpio. Five. I would say he's a Scorpio Five

And he's probably like an E INFP I don't know why I mean I don't know him that well That just I guess wait what is is it really what where is his home as well as a drink? Yeah, where like I guess don't focus as much of wearing his helmet. I guess he must live in like a lighthouse or some shit, right? That's part of it. A man goes out drinking every night and doesn't come home until the wee hours of the morning, no matter how much he drinks the night before the man never has a hangover.

Santa Claus. Does he never say that? He's going to say that. He never goes to sleep. He's going to say that. He's going to say that. He's going to say that. He's going to say that? He's never goes to sleep. He's never going to say that. He's never going to sleep. He's never going to say that. He's never going to sleep.

I really love that guess. I do think Santa wakes up with a hangover. I don't care what people say. There's so much sugar in one night. Oh wait, I think I know this. Don't say it yet unless I do. Okay. I want to make sure everyone knows.

This is a dice situation. I feel like I also do feel like we've had something very similar to this on the show before but we've been doing the show now for over a hundred episodes so it's impossible to know if this is a riddle that has occurred. Wait I think my answer's wrong. So I was going to say that he he never wakes up in the morning with a hangover because he goes to sleep in the morning but I think it just says he he never wakes up with a hangover. That's good that I think you're assuming this is a word play uh riddle and it is not it is a it's up with the hangover. That's good. I think you're assuming this is a word play. Reveal and it is not it is a it's damard in that.

So it's not like home is where the heart is and it's water. God. If only no. Okay. It's not where he lives. It's when he lives. All right. 1926 prohibition.

There was no alcohol drinking mocktails on the day in the East Village of Manhattan. We open on the outside of a feet easy. Well his home is 60 feet from third base. The man is Joe DiMaggio and he's drinking up the Yankees. Milk store closes. Read all about it. Country's only Milk Store goes under. It's bathtub gin but he did all the wrong ingredients, so he's just drinking bath water.

Ah, yes. Famously no hangover from that. I'm gonna give you some clues that I think are gonna, okay, get, get, I love some clues. Give it away, give it away to. The man is a sucker for free drink. Don't.

He's a fish. He's a fish. The man is a fish at Shaperwater for free drink. I don't know. I'm not sure a fish. The man is a fish at shape of water for a free drink. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. The man gets his drink straight from the source. This is the absolute funniest clue because it really is just the answer.

The man lives alone in a European castle. So you go so well. The man is a king. The man always has a quick bite before he has a drink Oh Aaron sweetheart, I think you think these are good clues 45 minutes of just We do the answer is a second part, which is his home is a castle. Right, we got that.

We just don't know what do we need to solve for? And it's not a well. Millium Randall, which is a drink. What is a drink? He's a sucker for a free drink. What's his favorite drink? He always has a quick bite before he has a drink. Is it?

You keep putting this emphasis on the words like they're important. I don't know what you mean. I am not doing that. It's a sucker bite. He's a guy and I didn't want to castle. Riley has it. Yeah, yeah.

I think. And again, we all do know and I definitely absolutely have it right. And so I will say with confidence and if and I won't be wrong and it will all move on from it and it's not a leech is it it's but it's close to a very close to a mosquito is it a mosquito is it a man is a man is a man oh he's a vampire yeah He is a vampire. All right, we're gonna see quick. We're gonna see a quick scene. Adel, you are going to be playing

this a paranormal investigator in like the year, like, you know, 14, 76, let's say. We are a village full of people and you're trying to explain that there's a vampire in the town, but you're never gonna quite get to that because of all of the guesses that we have as to what it is that is really inhabiting this town May I have your attention please hitherto and on and on and on my name is Norman investigata and I am a Parodon-Hello

investigator and I've found something in this town that all of you should know about Something's been eaten my sheep it has oh Oh, okay, well, man. I've noticed you have a butchery shop It seems like you kill your sheep Cut out the meat and then prep and sell those and cook it and eat it. Oh he's good. He's good Hey, figure it out in one! What's your name? My name?

Never mind. So, I'll stay away from me. It's a pretty draw well over here. Anytime you ask someone what their name is and they say my name, you know they have nothing. So, yes, you have a question in the back. Yeah, Dustin Magnus, medieval times. Question.

You said your last name was Investigator? Investigator. Har. Tar. What do you say about the accusations that you created a fake job and that you just kind of go around causing hysteria? I think there's a lot of truth to those accusations.

This man's a heart and journalism is he of truth to those accusations. This vendor, a heart-hit in journalism is, he's exposed to a whole town. I don't think there's actually vampire in this town. Nobody said that. Okay, so here we go. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I never said vampire. I never said vampire, and I'm certainly not one. Mr. Blood seems to be talking a lot about vampires. They're not being one Could I just say I just want to feel a little cold out on the you can't just invent your own job

Because if this town didn't have a horse friend then all of the horses would be lonely We do need no what a horse friend does you're not fooling anyone by saying friend instead of the horses would be lonely. We really do need things. We really know what a horse friend does. You're not fooling anyone by saying friend instead of the other horse. Wait, Mr. Blood's getting away. Hmm? Nobody be a distraction. Focus on the vampire in the village. Like I said, no vampire in the village.

Just keep answering questions for medieval times. I'll see you all in the morning. I'll be asleep. Quick question, Mr. Blood What do you what is your job because we know it ever seems to see you during the daytime? Are you holding a microphone? This is no this is actually this is a piece of hay that I kind of Strung together and somehow when I go to read my piece I remember it based on which stick of hair I looked at for which question

For me I was gonna say those haven't been invented yet I'm from the future you should you should know of course wait, sorry What you're from the future do people still have such petty and small views on horse human friendships in the future Horseman what is your name? Because you did not. That one stumped you. And that was the easy one. My name? You see that it does again.

He knows he fucks horses, but he doesn't know his name. Oh, no, I'll see. We never got to it. But I'm pretty sure that guy was a vampire. Mr. Blood. Hiding and playing soccer. I am. I love the idea of, I need to tell you all something. I've found something and then someone going, there's no vampires. That's right.

Well, right. I haven't said that. Not what I was going to say, but not I haven't said that. I was going to say, but now that you said it, there definitely is. Also the variation of accents in that town and with absolute perfection. Yeah, I started off for a real melting pot. I started off and I was like, I'm gonna speak like an old timey

and then I was like, I quit. Here are some more riddles from Elizabeth Teeter. She wants us to use her name because she thinks it would be cool. So her name is Elizabeth Teeter. Hello Elizabeth. Um, here is your... And, uh, fans of the show, right, I said, let us know.

Was it cool? We want to know. I will feel about it. I feel pretty good. I'll go on the record. I think it's cool. It's a cool name. It's kind of like Twitter.

I will, I will say one of my favorite shows of all time is Dark on Netflix. And there's a character named Cloudy Atidaman and all all the time around the house. I'll just lean over to Gemma and Whispererier. Cloudy Atidaman. So I think it's a great name. Yeah, but her leaving love notes isn't annoyance for you. My love language is Cloudy Atidaman. Well, I will say Whisperers are dangerous post-its.

Honey, honey, new name over here. All right, Adults out the door. Claudia Teeleman. Claudia Teeleman. I'm not going to call you that. Claudia is a fantastic name. If anyone is naming their baby this week, and you can say that.

You can say that. That offer expires on Saturday night. Check back in, Aaron's gonna have a new Baby David the week for you. But, honey, I was listening to a podcast and now I have a name for our baby. You can also use Mr. Blood, but you have to be creative. You have to first two names. And you know what, I don't have permission to do this, but I'll say it, you can also name it Doe Boy.

Just the one. Just the one. Just the one. Here is your next riddle. Thank you. I'll bleed for you until my veins run dry. I'll send your imagination soaring high. Use me with a flourish, and I'll make your dreams come true.

I come in all colors, but mostly black and blue. Ink pen. Is this an Evan Essence song? Yeah. Got it. Got it in one. Any excuse to talk about Evan Evans? Anyone know? Is it ink? Like pen? Like oil? Yeah. Oh, it's a pen. You got it. That's pretty good. Did Elizabeth write that herself? Let me look. I don't know. Maybe she's a volunteer. Yeah, she did. I wrote a work when I should have been actually working. Hence, they are all things I can see on my desk. She's part of the White House coronavirus task force.

I'd love to see a scene. She's a surgeon. I just kind of day dreaming. I'd love to see a scene. I want to see, this is going to be Aaron and Riley. You are two people who are, I don't know, the 1800s or whatever you want to be. I don't care. And you're writing correspondence and you really have nothing to say.

You just love to write. You love to use a quill in ink. And so you're just going through that process, and it doesn't really matter what you say. You have no real substance. And we'll go letter by letter. Oh, OK. My dear is Catherine.

What's up? How have you been? I'm a little thirsty right now, so that's what's new with me. Oh shoot I thought of something earlier this week that I wanted to tell you and now I forget what it is, but I remember your friend Elizabeth. Dearest Elizabeth, how lovely it is to hear from you on this day. Not much has been going on. The street trainers were loud this morning. Oh, the condensation from my ice glasses dripping onto the table will have to clean that up later. that up later. Oh, what else, what else, what else? My feet are a bit chilly, might get a blanket. Hope all is well with you, yours, Catherine.

Dear Catherine, my heart hurts for you to hear about the ice glass. Achoo! Oh my goodness, I just wrote my sneeze down. How weird is that? Oh brother. Wait, I think I see a bird. See. Not easy to send mail back.

You wait months for a ride and it's a chill. Those sort of feels, feel like the text I send my mom. Like any excuse to talk to her. I'm like, hey, my feet are cold. Hey, I know that you guys like you're really close with Elizabeth, but I got across like the fjords passage. And I fell off an iceburg last time. I do four sword fights. Can you just wait till it's something important? Speaking of writing a chew, I have received emails from people where they're like,

hey, I just want to know if we're still on for 5 p.m. And then it'll be like, dot, dot, dot, oh wait, I just looked at my calendar and it's 6 p.m. I'll see you then. And I'm like, do you not have a complete button like this? Like when people write out their train of thought. In the same message. It's insane.

Here is the next riddle from Elizabeth that you're just looking around the room. She definitely wrote this and not me. Who is a guy on a podcast? Is named Raju Jeff. That's the riddle. OK, here we go. I'll hold your very top secrets,

your awards and your taxes. In many colors, you may see me. Those simple tope is my favorite. When organizing is your goal, your sanity, I'll save it. See, I'm still hung up on, I'm a podcaster in my name, rhymes with Jim. It was Jim. Oh, I'll move into Jan.

Then can you reread the other one? Yep. I'll hold your very top secrets, your awards and your taxes. In many colors, you may see me. The simple tope is my favorite. When organizing is your goal, your sanity, I'll save it. File cabinet. Is this like a Manila envelope?

Yep. Oh! Oh! You got it. These are all desk things. Oh man. I, I, the number of times that I had some sort of like fucking second quarter achievement award

that was like a printout that someone like Googled achievement award. And then I got it in a fucking Manila envelope that I just kept on my desk like thinking maybe this will be something that I want to keep at one point. That's happened to me many times in my life. I would like to see a scene. This is for deaf and JPC. You are two secret agents and you've just received like a new Manila envelope with your next top assignment in it. And maybe it's a little bit confusing. Okay.

It looks like our new assignment came. I've never seen it come in. What the hell? What would you call this? It's, uh, it's like a little messaging a bottle in a way. Yeah. I guess so. It's, uh, it looks like it's a bottle with a message inside of it.

Yeah, I assume that's a message inside of it. It's one pink poster that's in there. And I've flipped the bottle around. It doesn't look like there's information on it, but maybe it's like that invisible? Yeah, we'll squeeze lemon juice on it. National treasure. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. That's why I went into this show. Get it out by the way. I'm kind of a Nick Cage theme slash head. No kidding. Yeah. Is it, is it national treasure

number one at the bullet? It's absolutely that sequel. The reason I came in is to this job is I'm a huge con air fan. No fuck and I'm sorry, I know this. Yeah, no way. But not for Cage, I love Cusack. I'm a very con air fan no fuck and I'm sorry. I know this yeah, no way But not for cage. I love kusek. I'm a huge kusek guy. I don't actually care for cage Well, then this is the thing is that we find ourselves in this position open the bottle Okay, it's open the bottle. Um, well, there's no it's just like it's just like there's no neck to the bottle

It's just a cylinder to get clear glass cylinder, there's no neck to the bottle. It's just like a cylinder, it's like a clear glass cylinder. Yeah. What's the word for that? Oh boy. I'd Google it, but my kid took my computer. Sorry, gentlemen. This is to gentlemen. Psst.

Yeah. Hey, I don't mean to be this overt about this, but you're in the middle of a Starbucks just screaming about your assignment. And it's a little time sensitive and people are dying so can you just be like more inconspicuously? I just think it's a lot rages to say that this is the middle of a Starbucks considering there's like a kitchen in the back. Seen. Really daughter.

Yeah you got me. You really really pick your fight there. Alright, this is the last thing that is on Elizabeth Teeter's desk. Are we ready? Yes. Without water, you will die. Without water, I will thrive. With too much sun, you will burn.

For too much sun, I yearn and yearn. My open arms reach towards the sky, but get too close and I'll make you cry This is a garlic cactus This is a pepper again It's just a cactus and that concludes everything that was on Elizabeth's desk Wait get too close and I'll make you cry. Oh, ow like getting poked in the eye by cactus. Now I have to see a scene. This is going to be... This is going to be...

JPC, you are walking through the desert, you come upon Aaron, she is a cactus, and she's gonna try and make you cry. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a plant. That means that there must be water. There must be water. Loser says what? What? What?

Oh, ha. We both just said it. What? You said it again. No, I didn't. Wait. Not not. Not not.

Who's there? You are ugly and so's your family. You are ugly and what's your family You're ugly Wait you start this one you start this one knock knock who's there? Do you have any water what do you have? Luzer says what what oh man? You know what it's fun about you said what what? You know, it's fun about you what you're inherently Unlovable Okay, okay, okay, loser says what I?

Not following for that again. I've already followed for it twice It would be insane for me to fall for it again. Oh, yeah, okay think okay You're in the desert. Okay, think okay. This is you. I need water, I'm dying, cause I'm a human, and I need water. That's what you sound like. Yes. And then you go, what you say what? You've said it, what? You said it.

You said it. Hundreds of times. Wait, you got something on your shirt. You got something on your shirt. My shirt's in your bags. I tore my shirt off to make these shoes. Look down, you got a little something right here. Just at my chest.

Hey buddy, hey buddy buddy over here the the cigarette I just want to apologize. She doesn't speak for all of us. Oh Thank God another another cactus you said you were in the candy. Oh, thank God Okay, hey knock-dock Knock-knock Tuesday two more now shit Perfect Thank you Adelfer when you played that cactus just now for holding your arms I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not we ready for another riddle? Yes, we are. Okay. Awesome. This one is from Rob. Okay, he's from Rob. I don't have nothing left to say about Rob holy shit. It's from Rob. Yep. Rob with nothing else on Mike drop fuck. Okay, dude. All right. Kevin is sentenced to death by firing squad. Susie, the person in charge of the firing squad, liked Kevin, so she made him a deal.

Kevin could arrange the shooters in any way he wanted, and if he was still alive an hour after they were given the order to fire, he would be set free. Kevin was tied to the post, waited for one hour and was set free. How did he do it? I know it. He arranged them by stacking them on top of each other. Yeah.

So they're just one on top of the other. So it's a person with a rifle, and that's like a what's at a perpendicular angle. So he arranged them like a log cabin style, and then just into a house, and then he just lived in that shooter house for the rest of his life. That's it.

That's stepfully it. That is so stupid. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That Yeah. Yeah. Did he put them on their backs so they shot up into the sky? Yeah. One. Oh, 20. One go. Did he, did he arrange marriages for all the men? So they were happy that they didn't.

Oh my god. Yes. I want the tall wife. I want a short wife. I want a what. Is that green day still? Yes. That's on American Idiot. It's you on really good. It's that green day still? Yes. That's on American India.

It's you on early. It's early. That's the mining port. That's dookie green. What did you say about how would you arrange them? What was the real answer? Arrange marriage? No.

You could arrange them facing the other way. You could arrange them to where their guns were pointing into each other. Yeah. That's basically it. Where the guns are not pointing towards them, basically. They were in a circle around the post. Yeah. None of the shooters dared fire.

They might hit the shooter on the other side. Oh, so it's not what we said where we were just like, aim the guns at each other and shoot themselves. It was actually a smart clever thing where he was like, there's still aiming at me, but you could also maybe hit someone. He was very clever. This man, very, very smart, probably a murderer or two.

And now he has to just be very, yeah. Yeah. Well, I will say based on intro the dragon, what would happen is the they would all circle around him and then they'd fire one at a time at close range while they're rest patiently weighted. Right. Yeah, you always somehow find a way to tie these riddles back

to enter the dragon constantly, constantly, impressing. And Casey these riddles back to enter the dragon. Constantly. Constantly. And Casey catches most of them to cut the mountain. Right. Occasionally someone else was talking and you had to leave what it is. Just for continuity. Thank you Rob. Thank you Rob for that ribble.

Yeah. Thank you Rob for that ribble. You did a great job. All right. Are we ready for some more? Ready for one more. One more? Well then one more. One more? Well, then if I have one more, then just give me two seconds.

Because I don't want to waste it. Oh, how about you take one second and do two riddles? That's a good deal. I'd love if JPC, if that door opens and then your kid walks it and then then Annie comes in like on that side. You have a kid. when he comes in like on that sausage. You. You. You. You have a kid.

And my kid is just spaghetti on two legs. Uh, Aaron's like this. We have a friend who has made that, that scene, his zoom background multiple times, just, just the door in the office. So it looks like you just in that office and they could burst into any second. That's amazing. That's awesome. That's amazing. That's awesome. Fair to the show padconally.

Fair to the show. All right. This is our final riddle. A woman is accused of a crime tried in an American court of law and found guilty. The woman has not killed anyone or committed treason yet the judge orders the death penalty. Her execution is swift and there's no appeal or public protest.

Just like a little heads up, a lot of riddles are about women getting killed. I think I know the fun thing that men have done. It's really fun and of course she was a witch. She was a witch. She thought. She was so quirky. She was so weird. What did you say?

What did you guys say? She was a witch. She was a witch they thought. Yes. Oh, I was joking. Yeah, you know, that joke was real. Ah, that, ah, Jeff's joking. Yeah, you know that joke was real Oh, that just dancing. He's so excited Here were the clues 18 other people died from the same crime the town is on the East Coast of the US

The crime is no longer tried in the US courts. And the conviction was in Massachusetts in 1692. Fun fact about that, the crime is no longer tried in the United States, but the defense is still used very wildly today. I have gone with the witch defense several times in criminal trials. I can't be held accountable for my actions.

I am a witch. I am a witch. You robbed a milk store. I do. I probably. Well, so it turns out that's a victimless cry because they couldn't find a milk store. Yeah, you turned yourself into saying,

I robbed a milk store and they said, what are you talking about? He said, never mind I'm a witch. You're a drunk off white Russians. I'm related to Rebecca Nurse. Is that real? You have family from Massachusetts? Is she Massachusetts? Yeah.

Salem. But she was killed. I just thought Adela was killed. I'm my relative is Dave Doctor. Rebecca the Nurse. She was killed and then she had two siblings who were, I think one was blind and one was deaf. And they were because of that, they were also accused of some sort of devilery. And so they were perfect. Yeah, exactly. And so they escaped

and had kids and were descendants of one of them. Oh, so have you like gone and done a Salem tour? We went to Salem last year from my mom's 60th because she's super into genealogy and so she's the one who discovered all that and so we went and put flowers near their grave marker kind of things. I'm from Massachusetts but I don't think I'm a witch, unfortunately. I want to see a scene. Let's say Aaron and Jeffrey, the two of you are on trial

for being witches. We'll say, James and Riley, you two are the sort of prosecutors, you're the people trying to prove that they are witches or dole out their punishment and we'll take you to Salem in this court. Okay, your first chair. So I'm just gonna sit back here and chill. Good luck. Oh my goodness. No time. You're gonna leave. You're just gonna leave me behind, dry.

Honestly, I had I had a crazy night last night. I went to Salem Vegas with the boys and we just just white Russians all night and I'm just I'm not in shape. So I were like on stakes. Yeah, no, I know. I know we don't want to we don't want to Like more uncomfortable than you would think it is. I am you call me a moron. Do you call me a moron? No, no sit down. It's no Really? I Enough with that enough. Yeah, I'm insecure the guy in the fucking Brooks brother suit is secure

Come on. Yeah, it's step down. All right, all right. Well, we all know why you're here. Farmer Jay, you know, he can't find his three sheep. And he's blaming it on you, but he brought you guys to the courthouse, said that you use your witchcraft, you know, might have killed the sheep for some spells or something. And you got to let you know there's a lot of evidence stacked against you.

Someone claimed that they saw you too on brooms flying around Why? I mean, damn Do we ride brooms in the air? Yeah Yes, fine, yeah But we're not witches Why does that make us witches?

If we were witches, could we do this? Oh, our ears are bleeding Your somehow broken ring Oh, sorry to burst into the courtroom, but I thought I smelled or I mean heard blood. Mr. Blood. Mr. Blood. This is Tabasco sauce. This is blood.

I forgot that I had a big breakfast. Oh, wait, aren't you the guy who friends all the horses, quote, quote, friends? I'm not a trial here. I'm a prosecutor. Hors-friendly. Peacock's me show. Weeknights on CBS. Yes, CBS would find a way to get that.

It would be first for mine for that. Hors-friendly. We can't air Brooklyn 9.9 anymore. So we have to have a mid-suse replacement. We've got air Brooklyn 9.9 anymore, so we have to have a mid-season replacement. We've got horse-friendly to me. I don't even know we had this show. We've always had it. We've had this show since 1951.

Isn't there a show that's literally called God-friendly to me? Yes, that was the reference. This was a half-maked pitch from Dalton Moonbez for lessons. So they just kind of threw out 100,000 at it. Enough with Dalton. Jeff, Riley, thank you so much for joining us on Hey Riddle Riddle. You have your own great podcast. Would you like to talk about the review review?

Yeah, thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much for having us. This was so much fun. This was so much fun. But yeah, we have review review on the Headgum Network. We have a different topic every week could range from a restaurant and item, a place, what have you. And we find the craziest reviews that people have left about those things.

And we do improv based off of that. Yelp, TripAdvisor, Amazon Products, Alibaba Express. And did I mention Google reviews? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, no, he didn't. He didn't until just now.

What's that? They said you had mentioned it. No, you just. I was just happy. Come on, we're just trying to, like, we're just trying to, like, we're trying to have fun. Like, all rhetorical, rhetorical.

Yeah, yeah, it's all good. But yeah, new episodes every Tuesday, and when we wrap this episode up, we're going to do an episode with y'all. So if anybody is interested, maybe that would be a good in. Yeah, and then it's like, you can go listen to that podcast, and then if you're listening to that podcast,

we'll direct you back to this podcast, and then just keep listening to these two episodes forever. It's like the only content that you need. Let's eat it in its own tail. And this like will be complete. Like just getting it's own tail, a roar of a realis. Uh-huh. What's been your favorite review so far?

I got a nail or like the thing that you reviewed. Ooh. We did an episode on British pubs outside the United Kingdom. I think that's my favorite. I think that's my favorite. I think the same. Mine too. There was the one, there's a British pub in Paris that someone reviewed.

And they were mad because it wasn't open at 11. And so they had to wait by the Luxembourg gardens and they were pissed about it. They couldn't have like a Guinness or something. Yeah. That's incredible. Incredible. I had to waste my time at the gardens.

J.A.P.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C not really. You can follow me at twitch twitch.tv slash show. Yes, they're with me. Just a thing. Just a thing. Except for this. It's just a thing that I've plugged every week. Nobody ever listens to this part. I'll go next. Aaron, anything to plug?

Sure. Aaron, follow me here and keep 10 on Instagram for stuff there. Mm-hmm. And Adel. Adel can't, his sound went out, so I'll go ahead and do Adel's plugs. You can follow me at Twitter and Instagram at AdelRefi. And here's a list of podcasts that I've recently been on. Brothers in Business podcast.

Sandwiches for Mayor, the podcast. Oh shit. Sorry, Adel, go ahead. I would like to plug our Patreon, Patreon.com, slash Hey, Riddle, a lot of good stuff over there. Also, check out our episode of Review Review. Was that already mentioned? No. No, first time.

Perfect. And Aaron, you left a weird review on a post it on my wall. It was about something that was large and circular and had a moon or something. What was that called? A hug? Addlesass. Jupiter.

Addlesass. Addlesass. It was Addlesass. Jupiter. Addlesass. Wolf's wish. All right. All right.

Ha. And John Patrick Cullen. Casey Tony to the editing. Now are he parod in the music? Patrick Cullen. Casey Tony to the editing. How are you, Paris? The music. The music. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours. The music.

The music. The music. The music. The music. Okay, I'm ready. Aaron's just reading a book this whole time. Yeah. Aaron's just reading a book. Just like, I'm just reading little women and I'm like, this is so good, you guys.

The artist's way. I'm going to take myself in an artist's state. I'm going to learn a lot about myself. I can't wait. Hey, Rick, don't break the door. That was a Hate Gum podcast. That was a HATEGUM podcast.