Hey Riddle Riddle - #107: Tell Me Something, College Boy

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

On this weeks show we can't stop horsing around or referencing decades old reality TV. All that and we see a man in a very compromising position, a romantic evening with a rock legend, a heartwarming moment and a mysterious revelation, a trip to a more simple and brutal time, and a master chef who knows exactly what he wants. We want to suck your drums! Happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Welcome to the Museum of the Future. If everyone steps this way, on the right, you're going to see what we called a podcast in the 2000s. Any questions about that? Mm-hmm. What's a podcast? What's podcast? A podcast was several people standing around a microphone and screaming their thoughts and opinions and trying to be funny. All right, college.

Don't talk down to me. Tell me something. Were there any podcast about movies or true crime? Yes, that was actually the majority of podcasts were about true crime in movies and eventually in 2034, they melded into true crime movies. Oh, I tell you what, I tell you what, this is a college boy. Did Mochello Bama ever have a podcast? Boy, I like that Michelle Obama and yes she actually did I'm not gonna promote it here because this

is a museum tour but I'm sure if you look around you would find it you're wearing a Michelle Obama podcast t-shirt though well they always say do don't tell tell me something college boy I'm sorry ma man. You keep saying tell me something. Are you? I'm sorry to ask this. Are you Lady Gaga from the past? Tell me something college boy. Exactly. Can you tell me something? Were there any podcasts about what's what are those things that got banned a few years ago? Riddles? uh, what's what are those things that got banned a few years ago? Uh, riddles? Okay, security. I have an issue here. Okay. What's your issue? Uh, sorry, folks, if you don't mind standing right there on that X over there, it's just me to secure this issue. In this. Oh, oh, shit. I'm sorry. Hey, that's okay. You're also a security officer, uh, here. What's the

matter, college boy? You don't think a red-dick could be security officers? No, I do. Tell me something, boy. If I, when I stand on that X, are you going to pull a lever and then I go down to a dungeon? Someone stood on an X before. I'm Baron Adlerify.

I'm college boy. And I'm standing on my ex. And we are a riddle podcast from the past. We're Hey Riddle Riddle. And the premise of the show is every week we do an intro. And it's a little bit different every week. And we're still finding it. And it's coming together.

Finding your footing. And then we do a bunch of riddles. And by a bunch, I mean maybe four. We really try to get four in there. And it's episode like 107 or something like that. So we're really trying to stretch it down. We're still finding our footing, but we're like 80 years in. So I have my footing and I'm standing on my X.

That's where my footing, I really found my footing. Ooh, which X? All of them. So you know, it's gonna be a good episode when we find a t-shirt idea in the first two minutes. Mm-hmm. How are you guys? What's the news?

Well, I actually want the news, not the weather, Aaron. So, okay, I'll stop spitting. I'll stop spitting over this, zoom. The news, what is in the news today? Well, it's actually today's kind of a big day for me, kind of. I say it's kind of a big day because I don't really find importance in many days, but it's August 5th.

By the way, welcome to August. So welcome to August everyone. But would anyone like to guess what today is my anniversary of? Anniversary. Oh, so perversity. Aaron, you got it in one. It's my so perversity. anyone like to guess what today is my anniversary of? anniversary? Oh, so perversary. Aaron, you got it in one, it's my so perversity. Yay, congratulations.

Thank you, I'm seven years today. Lock your seven. I forgot about that until I looked at my calendar and I was like, hey, I did put this in here because I always forget about it. I do, I put important anniversaries and important dates in my calendar because otherwise they will go right by and I will not think about it. I do, I put important anniversaries and important dates in my calendar because otherwise they will go right by and I will not think about that.

That congratulations on seven years and of your sobriety and know that in 14 more years your sobriety can drink. I cannot wait. It'll be 20 more years. It's also, it's also, it's also, seven years bad luck. Every time you walk underneath a ladder and the last time I walked under a ladder I was blackout drunk So I my bad luck is officially over and I'm really I'm excited to start my My life of good luck and good memories. That's only true if the ladder is also drunk You both have to be drunk if the ladder or the ladder LADD ER LAT

ER I said what I said. And I meant what I meant. Also, in other big news for me, I am playing a video game, not right now, right now I'm super focused on this podcast. I am playing a couple of other things. We can see it in your glasses that you're fully playing over.

You both immediately have like, no, no, you play a video game right now. Takes. But I'm playing a game called Outer Wilds. Fantastic. So I've heard about that. It's good. It's so fun.

It's so fun. It's very immersive. You're in space. There's no combat. You're solving puzzles. It's like mystery. And it's not like traditional puzzles. It's like you're getting more information

about the games you go, oh. Well, how many JPCs would you give it? Well, the JPC ranking is really for food, so I'll have to come up with an equally upsetting ranking with JPCs for video games, and I say I'll give it 71 JPCs, which is the highest video games we've ever given a game.

And is it rated JPC? What am I trying to do here? JPCs? Take all the time you need, I don't. Okay, hold on. Yeah, I don't know. There's a joke in there somewhere. Jason, JPG. Take all the time you need. I don't, okay, hold on. Yeah, I don't know. There's a joke in there somewhere. This could be right.

This could be right here. This could be Adam's licking his pen and getting ready to finish. Okay, carry the one, okay. There's a joke in there somewhere would be a very good merch for us if we started selling min's underwear. Yeah. Oh.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Started, JBC, we've been selling min's underwear this whole time. in his underwear. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Started. JPC, we've been selling men's underwear this whole time. I do every t-shirt that we make. I do that as underwear. I, the necklace of poophole and the arboros of the club. The necklace of poophole. JPC, how many JPCs would you give sobriety?

Oh, honestly. I was thinking about this earlier because we've been in lockdown now for six years and I was thinking about how much I am grateful that I don't have like booze or alcohol in lockdown because I feel like there would be a time in my life where I would have, that would be like a destructive trigger for me where, like the thing that I would do that day would be like, I'll just get drunk today and that will pass the time.

So I'm glad that that has not been an option for me. And if that, what I'm describing sounds at all listener like your life, you can go to church. And the battle chicken in Chicago. Yeah. I'm sorry, you think church is a chain chicken place is the best chicken in Chicago? Well, for the purpose of my joke, sure.

Okay, well, I mean, we gotta go to Roost, my friend. Roost has a vegan sandwich, vegetarian sandwich. Ooh, yeah, I was gonna say, I'm not gonna listen to you about your fucking chicken recommendation. Speaking of chickens, I was gonna say, I'm not gonna listen to you about your fucking chicken recommendation. Speaking of chickens, Adel, what's the news?

It's 11 o'clock, buck, buck, buck, buck. Um, buck, buck, buck. I don't know if I have any news on my hands, scanning systems. No, no news on my hand. Are there any news with you? Not really. I

rewatched a show I loved a lot growing up and it's my official favorite thing I've watched during quarantine. And that movie is it's a show. It's a TV show. It was on you. We watched the whole thing. Well, it is only six episodes. It's like hour long episodes each. It's a PBS show. No, stay with me. From 2002, please don't go. And it is. PBS Peanut Butter School? No.

Yeah. Just because you failed out of peanut butter school, it doesn't mean it's not valid. I can't, Aaron, I told you don't bring it up on the show. There are several lines that I have that you cannot cross. I heard you got it. We'll go there. I heard you got pulled out of peanut butter school

because your mom is choosy. Fine, we're gonna talk about my peanut butter school. Let's talk about Addles' Toe surgery. I've never heard of someone having a big toe that was too big. And then he got four extra toes. I'm sorry, we're just airing all of our dirty laundry. But then I sold that script to the fairly brothers

and it's gonna be a movie. Well, our brains are moving fast today. Is everyone caffeinated? What's the show we heard? It is a PBS show from 2002. It is a sort of reality TV before reality TV and it's called Frontier House. And I'm sure some of you watched it growing up.

It is a six part special. It is better six part special. It is better and more dramatic and more batshit and sane than any reality TV show I've ever seen. So it's three families who go and live like it's 1870 or whatever, like they're living on the frontier in Montana for four months. Three separate families, they live 10 minutes apart for four months and they live, like it's the 1800s and two of the families end up absolutely hating each other. Like a half-fields McCoy's?

It's a full-hat feels McCoy's. It is, you guys, you will cry laughing, you will cry, and you will like, recommend it to everyone you know. And I also think that PBS ended up having some like legal issues with the people who are on the show. So it's really hard to find. So I watched, we watched it like shitty YouTube quality videos of it because we were so addicted to it. But you can order the DVD online and I can't recommend it enough. Aaron started blowing your mind but speaking of amazing bad TV that maybe had legal issues you need to search down a TV show called kid nation. Oh my god, I guess kid nation. Oh, I'm glad you're back. Maybe the best rally show of all time, which is they take like 40 they take like 40 kids who are 15 years or younger. They put them in the wild west and the ghost town and they make them run the ghost town and compete for giant nuggets of gold and it's it's the most incredible

Thing that's ever been dedicated to film I've ever seen in my life. What year was this? This was probably 2000. Oh boy 2004 or something that may not be right, but it was it is Unbe and like one of the kids has to like do all cooking, and one of the kids has to wrangle the sheep and kill chicken. It's a 10 out of 10 and they never did it again. Well, it's so funny because there are kids like in two of the families on Frontier House, and then there's a newlywed couple

who they're the most charming dreamiest people in the world, he is a dreamboat. But the kids in the family are like super interesting and one gets super attached to a pig that they call JoJo Pumpkin and then they have to kill the pig. And then one of the couples get a divorce right after the show. They get a divorce right after the show. You guys, I can't recommend this enough. Do I need to send the DVDs to your houses? Send me the link or the DVDs please. I would love to do a firm review crew. I know it's on a mystery, but I'm telling you it is heaven. I love real ACV. And the new season big brother is about to start or has already started depending on when this comes out. So

I'm very excited. And well, August 5th, GPC, you are in charge of this episode. Any thing you want to get started with? Nope. Just a couple. Just, yeah. I am on charge, but I don't want to get started with anything. OK, Joe, Joe pumpkin. What's next? OK. OK, so we have been combing the bottom of the barrel. And by the bottom of the barrel, I do mean the bottom, because this is an email that we got in August of 2018.

Almost, it's August 15. So 10 days away from the two year anniversary of Travis sending us this email. Is your phone telling us? Travis doesn't know us anymore. Sorry, sorry, JPC, I had to do a quick good stop. So when you get to the bottom of the barrel instead of scraping it, you comb it.

It's a barrel of pomade. Okay, no further questions. It hits a barrel of hair. No. No. What could be more fun than a barrel of hair? It's like an Ipros new clothes, but with like a wine cast, which is a barrel of hair. I think barrel of hair is the new kids. You know, remember, remember Mr. Bucket, the Mr. Bucket, who's the book is going to my mouth? That should be the new Mr. Bucket is barrel of hair.

Okay, it's barrel of hair. I don't think it was balls going to my mouth? That should be the new Mr. Bucket is barrel there. Oh my God. It's barrel there. I don't think it was balls going to my mouth, but. Sure it was. The way I played. Okay, so Travis says, hey, OMP, Old Man Puzzles, GPC, here are some of my favorite riddies and pussies for you. And then, he said that, well, actually,

they said that most of these could probably be warm-ups. And it's coincidental because the word barrel isn't one of these. I think that we've done two of the three of these before, but just because we have, we'll go through them very quickly. We'll still get them wrong. What do you put in a barrel to make the barrel lighter? Light. Helium. No, the answer is hair. We'll still get them wrong. What do you put in a barrel to make the barrel later? Light. Helium.

No, the answer is hair. But it must be very blonde hair. Well, it's still a four-letter word that starts with H. It is whole. It is a whole. Okay, how far can you walk into a forest? Halfway. Halfway.

Halfway in this one. And then you realize he's run-nang. No. And this is the one that I don't think we've done before. But 30 white horses on a red hill. First they clamp, then they stamp, then they stand still. What are we talking about? I never know.

I never know. I never know. 30 white horses on a hill. Is this the government hill? Red hill. What's that? Is this the government capital hill? Hell yeah. White horses.

You got them. I'm scared of them. Let's list those 30 white horses right now. We've got. You genome meal. I know. It is not government. That is a good guess, man.

Can you read it again? 30 white horses on a red hill. they clamp then they stamp then they stand still 30 white horses. No the horses aren't real the horses are a metaphor. Okay. Why Carole heroin no, what'd you say? Harrowing white horse is what you call heroin. I think it's yeah, I think you do call heroin horse and How would you know that mister? yeah, I think you do call heroin horse. And how would you know that, Mr. Oh, did I tell you does the, oh, man, I don't know.

Maybe I shouldn't tell this. Actually, I shouldn't tell this story. But can we keep this part in? Because I think it's important for listeners to hear you. Yeah, we should keep it. Not tell a terrible story. It is about heroin and it is not my story and it's a story from a person that I like so I won't tell a heroin story on the podcast because I think it would be a little too harrowing 30 white horses on a red hill you take one down pass it around glue

Is this something to do with? Well, I will say that so it is not. The story of removing all of the details, and this is why I knew that, this is when I found out that a horse was named for heroin, was a family member of mine caught someone doing heroin at their house, and the person's response was, what, it's just a little horse.

That's called a pony. That's called a Shetland Pony. A little heroin is called a mini horse. Okay. What could the red hill be out of? What are you thinking about? Red hill makes me think of like a pimple. No, but you're on the right track with like body.

Oh, the white horses maybe like teeth? Yes, Aaron. They not only are they maybe teeth, but 30 white horses are in fact teeth. They clamp, they stamp, and then they stand still. I love that one, Travis. I think we had maybe done or heard the first two before, but I don't know that I heard that one. So thank you so much, Travis. I've been seeing. Oh, also Travis is loving the podcast. So I would love Travis. If you're still listening, I'd love you to check in and just let us know

after about a hundred episodes. What are your thoughts? You still love it? Um, uh, JPC, you're an orthodontist, uh, Adel, uh, you are a kid and JPC is tightening your braces, uh, do it everyone. Yeah, so like I was saying, uh, you know, Mr. Mr. Wilson's been pretty rough on us in chemistry, but, uh, still, I still passed. So that's been good. Hey us in chemistry, but still I still passed, so that's been good. Hey, you know, chemistry is important.

I would not be in the chair that I'm in if it wasn't for a little oak chemistry in high school, kind of got my whole brain ticking in these sciences. I'm gonna keep tightening these and then you just tell me if they're getting too tight, okay? Okay, yeah, sounds good. You know, I like to, me and my family,

we like to call our teeth different animals, just because that's fun, it makes them more fun. Oh, is that fun? Yeah, I call my teeth doggies. I got 30 little doggies. Hmm, and their tails is wagging. Their tails is wagging? Yeah, too tight, too tight, too tight.

Okay, I was getting distracted. What do you mean their tails are wagging? Just means I need to brush them Excuse me, Dr. Wilson. Can I just see you over here for one second? Yes Okay, so I was going through the paperwork that is not a 13 year old boy. Okay, sorry 45 year old man Have you ever seen the movie The Orphan? Yes.

It's one of those situations. I've called it a point. The doctor required, this has happened to me again. Yes. And I'm sorry. And we'll either laugh or cry about this later, but you gotta keep them in the chair, okay? Sorry, can we hurry things up?

I'm double parked. Okay, can we not call the police? I feel like this is probably not a situation that it's appropriate for the police. Actually, you're right. Yeah. Maybe like a social worker or something. Or a mom calm on a minute.

Okay, so your little dogs are. You caught me petting my dogs. That's what I call it when I shop my hand on my mouth. Okay, well don't do that anymore. Your hand's filthy and what is that mud? Can I see a picture of your uncles? Yeah, let me get my billfold. Pull it out.

Oh, slower, pull it out slower. No, it's already out. I can't pull it out slower when it's already out. Wait a second. Why do you want to see a picture of my uncles? You're a little kid, aren't you? The fine little, the fine kid. No, you're passing both of those. See, 45 year old in a chair. Taking chemistry

class as a man. Okay, so this next one comes to us from Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian. Fabian. Fabian. Probably, it's probably Fabian. Love the podcast. Thought I'd help generate some content. They said they have a lot more riddles. This was sent in 2018, August 16th.

Maybe they have sent us more riddles since than who knows? If you have more riddles, you're legally required to send them to us. Fabian, Fabian, Fabian does a great job because they give the riddles since then, who knows. If you have more riddles, you're legally required to send them to us. Fabian Fabian? Fabian? Does a great job because they give the riddles some titles as well. I love titles on riddles. So, read them like they're bedtime stories, please. Tidals?

Tidals? Let's get cozy. Okay, I'm going to put my pajamas on. Okay, let me, let me, uh, preheat the oven to 450. I would say I grab cookies, but that's not realistic. Of course, you have to bake cookies before you eat them, so I me preheat the oven to 450. I would say I grab cookies, but that's not realistic Of course you have to bake cookies before you eat them, so I'll Preheat the oven, don't, don't let me forget that the oven is on I've already forgotten

Because in about 10 minutes I need to put the cookies in and about 30 minutes will take them out That might be the after the episode is done, but don't let me forget. I'm already forgotten Okay, we're ready. I am wearing bed. I am real cozy and okay Okay, and if you wanted me to listen to anything that you were saying in the last two minutes I'm already forgotten. Can't believe we're in bed. I am, we're in bed. I am real cozy and I can't. I'm not. Okay, and if you wanted me to listen to anything that you were saying in the last two minutes, completely zoned out, this story is called,

Fatal Wise. Kevin had to die because he became more intelligent. Why? Kevin was he a robot? Oh, yeah, I love that. He got some like he like awakened into consciousness and then when he Developed what is it like empathy and like a personality and past the touring test we put him to death I just played Detroit becomes human, which is that in a game and it's had some troubling

Messaging in that game, but uh... Oh no. Overall, it looked fine. Um, Kevin, what was it? Kevin had to die because he became too smart. Kevin had to die because he became more intelligent. And there's a difference between intelligence and smart. None of us have to worry about this. No, we don't, we should be okay about this. Uh, I don't think that any of us are gonna have to die.

At all, hypothetically, if you had a robot butler who got too smart, would you kill it? Oh boy, I think I would become its butler and learn from it. Yeah, you immediately become the beta to something that becomes more powerful than you. You're really just immediately locked into it where you think you belong. I become the sub to his dumb. We sleep together, we have a good time. And I don't know, I guess I don't know much about the IQ scale, but I think that the IQ scale has been proven to be racist and classist. And I don't think that it's truly a measure of people's intelligence.

Don't tell anyone with a high IQ that, that's a- That's true. But, and this guy, I'll be fully transparent here. I do not know what the IQ scale is. Like, I don't know what is a number that's good. So what I'm gonna say is I'm gonna do on the count of three. I want you guys to tell me what you think your IQ is. Having done no research on what a good IQ number is. Okay. Okay.

Okay. One, two, three. 100%. 100. I was just saying, I'm not sure. Do you think that's why we like each other so y'all have the exact same IQ?

Holy shit, you guys, our stupidity finally synced up. All right, guys, our homework now is we have to take an IQ test. I don't think a hundred is good. I think a hundred is bad, but maybe it's good. I have no idea what the IQ scale or what the average IQ is, but anyway, I'm pretty dumb, but for one week a month, I'm meant to straight.

So I'm pretty smart. He finally worked out a joke. He's been scribbling on the paper like a madman. He's dumb, but the guy gets jokes. The guy knows jokes. I'm a janitor who comes into podcasts. You really do have that vibe. I leave jokes on the board and they're like,

who did this? That fucking rules. Okay, so I'll just give you the answer to this one. It's an absolute bummer, I will say. But the answer is, in the state of Virginia, in the USA, I think that this person may not be from the USA. Maybe they are, who knows. But Virginia USA, David was sentenced to death for murder.

However, the state could not execute him because his IQ was only 59 during his long stay in prison. He read and studied it past the time as a result, his IQ increased to 70, which was high enough to complete his execution. I didn't know any research to see if that is true of that, but it sounds like that is a true maybe fucked up law in Virginia. Oh, jeez. I'm going to say this is the worst riddle we've ever read.

But that's not your fault Fabian. You did good, thank you for sending them. This next one I like a little better. This next story is called The Beetle. A man lies with a beetle and an instruction manual. I gotta see a scene. So sorry. Thank you for apologizing.

I have to see you seen. Thank you for apologizing. I have to see you soon. JPC, you are on a date with Ringo. Things go well, so we cut to later that night. You are on Back at Ringo's house and we'd pick up from there. Gotcha. Could I get you a drink? Don't, don't, I don't don't.

Don't, I don't don't. Yeah, I love it. I love a drink. I love, um, whatever you're having. What are you having? Um, uh, let's see. I'm, I'm having some wine. Okay, uh, yeah, I'll have wine. I'm having some wine. Okay. Yeah, all of wine. All red. Is everything okay in here?

Did my buttlet help you out? No. Oh my God. Barney Flintstone? Ho ho ho, I'm hungry. You know Barney Flintstone? You know Barney Flintstone? Ringo, wow.

It's so nice to meet you. Yeah, Ringo is. He's so funny. That's great. Um, yeah, I love some wine. I'm in the Beatles. Did you know that I... Wait, I gotta get back to it. I don't know, you do it. No, take your time. Ringo, octopus is golden. Yes, octopus is golden and the other is submarine. So you think you're still in the Beatles?

But I'm a boy, we never broke up. The fun fact about the Beatles, we never broke up. Yeah, but half of you are deceased. That's not true. I talk to George Harrison every day. Well, no, he's the half... He's the half that's... Well, okay.

And who's that better talking to? It's a scene. Ha ha ha ha. You guys, I was gonna find it. It was almost vampire at first. I know it was. Oi, I'm reading it. It's the Riko's style. In the town that I was born. It was almost vampire at first

I I want to suck your drums All right, that's gonna be hold on hold on that's my new catchphrase I want to suck your drums your new catchphrase I like you know what I like it honestly. It Honestly, it's way better than your old catchphrase. Can I just say, speaking of, I just did some quick math. Drumsticks are the perfect vampire steak. I'm sorry. If you want to kill a vampire, a drumstick is right there. I thought you meant the ice cream cone.

Oh yeah, those are good too. Let's see. They're pointy. They're pointy at the bottom. You could kill a vampire with one of those ice creams. If I had to kill a vampire with an instrument, yeah I guess I'd pick that. Pick drums. Like wooden stick. There's what else? I wouldn't stick. There a Theraman. I don't know what. A recorder made of wood. Yeah, yeah, I guess drumsticks would probably be the ideal weapon to fight a vampire with. So if you're a movie about a band being attacked by a vampire, take note.

Please send us $20 for that again. Listeners, please tweet us and let us know what you would wanna kill a vampire with. Could be anything at all. Hashtag, I want to suck your drums. Hashtag, I wanna suck your drums and let us know how you'd kill a vampire. The beetle. Yes.

A dead man lies with a beetle and an instruction manual on his chest. What has happened? He got hit by a beetle car. Oh, yeah, he was working on the undercarriage of a Volkswagen and it fell on him. Yes. The original riddle says repair guide, but I was like, I think maybe repair guide gives it away because like, what do you repair? You repair cars.

Yes, you got it right. You both got it right. Congratulations, you're both the smartest children in all the public cars. I would like to see you on the test. I would like to see you on the test. I'm a, Adel, you are JPC's dad and you are teaching him, had to like fix a car.

But I don't want there to be any helpful real information about cars in this. Just make every single part of a car up. Thank you so much. Hey, son, just so you know I'm your dad and I don't want to be with you. Thanks, Hoot. Um, yeah, I don't know what it is.

It's just I don't, maybe it's the starter, but it just don't, it won't turn, it won't turn. So. Okay, the starter. Of course, do you remember when I gave you a starter jacket for the Indian and Pacers? Yeah, I remember that. Remember Reggie Miller?

Swish. Yeah. Anyway, it's, yeah, I know it's not the alternator because just got that replaced like four months ago. So that's my memory. Remember alternative rock? Remember? Sure, yeah.

Like what's the example of I guess alternative? Sound garden. Sound garden, yeah. Maybe that's grunge, but. Yeah, it's more grungy. Hoobistank? Yeah, that works. Okay.

Yeah, I do. I remember. What I don't remember is how long starters are supposed to laugh now now the other thing It could be is it could be the cylinder and because it's a manual obviously So I know that you have to replace those every once in a while isn't there a Christmas song something in manual? I don't know dad something something in manual. Yeah, I guess maybe that's a Christmas Oh, oh Emmanuel Hey, have you tried kissing the tailpipe?

No, I haven't tried that you know it's where like exhaust comes out of right the tailpipe. Oh, you know what? I didn't even think about this. Remember Herbie fully loaded. Yeah, what if what if this car is alive? Okay, do you remember Herbie fully loaded? No, no, but I think it was about a car that was alive. Uh, boy, and it had a gun. Are my rearview mirrors burning? You're finally talking about me. It's mine. It's deep.

Ah, that's it. Oh, what's your name? Car. Car who? Car. Car. Car. Barroom.

Uh, car, verb room. Car can you tell us what's wrong with you and what's wrong with you? Well, there is some peanut butter in my blendy cylinder. And then if you put, my son went to peanut butter college. Oh, well, excellent. You should be able to fix this right up. And then you might be.

I dropped that at peanut butter college, dad. um, this is so embarrassing, but yeah, they, um, cause it we what you're doing with the dog. Yeah, it was what I was doing with the dogs. I got all these, uh, then what, oh, gee, dropped this ass out of college. Uh, that's what we call doing the dog. Oh, well, well, then, um, I'm afraid I have to take this car away from you because this car was a celebratory gift for you graduating. So here's a gun.

I want you to go ahead and- No, don't take him away from me, we kiss. What? He kisses my exhaust pipe. Oh, okay. What? No idea, I kiss the exhaust pipe. Kar and I are actually in love and

Car and I, I dropped out of peanut butter college so Car and I could run away together. What do you think about that dad? And I'm not asking for your fucking approval. I'm just telling you how it is. Can I just say that I'm in love with my car because I dropped out of peanut butter college is the most normal sentence I've heard all day? We're expecting. We're expecting.

I got my car pregnant by kissing the tailpipe. Do cars give birth to motorcycles? Leave your answer in the comments. The last one is the title is the call. Although she never said a word, Susie was finally able to sleep after a phone call. Although she never said a word. Susie was finally able to sleep after a phone call. Although she never said a word. Yeah, she never said a word, but she was finally able to get some sleep after a phone call. Did she like hear from her kid saying that like they're safe or something? That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, like they broke up. Like her too. And she's waiting up all night. And then they call it to be like I'm at

Todd's house. Is she like a does she live deliver babies? No That's it's not babies. It's just yes. That's bad ex. I think I know this one because I think we've had it before Okay, yeah, please I think that she's at a hotel and her neighbor is sleeping, is sleeping and snoring, and so she calls their room to wake them up so they stop snoring. It's raining? It's pouring. The old man is snoring.

Correct, Susie isn't a hotel, and then once she wakes them up with the phone, she's able to get to sleep. Not how about that? Do you like answers? JPC, answer me. Do you like answers? Yeah, I love them. How do you like them answers?

Whoa! Shit, that's my phone number. Look away. One. I memorized it. I memorized it. You're getting a phone call. Oh no. You're getting a fucking phone call. Speaking of phone calls, it's time for all of us to call and check in on our

Prohibition officers from Rital Court We've been multiple times and we've never paid a fine So we're gonna go call our Rital Court appointed probation officers. It will see you after this quick commercial Brit Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Apple.

Screamer space is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so, let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here.

Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time

and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content

on my prank website, the prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Frank. With Squarespace.

Yes, right. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial

And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help?

Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle

of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about?

All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of the two days. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh, sorry. I also want to give a toast.

Rocket Bunny, well quickly, anding, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time

and also get alerted if anything looks off. Kling, cling, you didn't click it. Over 3 million. Oh, Kling, Over $3 million, over $3 million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets coming here. Stop, stop, stop, no, stop, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rock at money dot com slash riddle.

That's rock at money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website. I love you. It will be rugged money. Clank, clank, clank. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, okay. Well, that was interesting. How did everybody's calls go? I, I, I, I, mindingle great.

Yeah, I accidentally called my masturbation officer. Okay. My guy's really nice. He did make me pause into a cup cup though. Oh, did anything, did anything, any traces or anything, show up? No, technically I kicked the horse on my way in today. So it was a police horse that it was loitering,

but I gave it a good kick to the shoes. I said kick rocks horse. You're the most consistent person I've ever met. Sure. You're the most consistently insane person I've ever met. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've all been so lucky. I've all been so lucky.

I've been so lucky. We're repeating the same sentence. I've just kept saying, okay. Okay, cool. So we're going back to this book that we haven't been to in a minute, but it is this medieval puzzle book. Oh, fun. Yeah, this, we, we, I think we enjoyed the puzzles

when they were in this book. We didn't, they were bad, we didn't like them. If memory serves me, I actually did a pretty good job on these. Yeah. The, the, these were some like, Matthew puzzles and Adel refused to do them. So, yeah, but you can, after the minute I graduated college,

I refused to do math. So you can't make me, you can't force me to. And I did go through and I selectively removed all of the math problems so that we wouldn't do any more math riddles out of this book. But since Adel just ran his fucking math with the podcast, I'll throw one back in. Yay!

You know how against math I am? I won't even listen to some 41. But you love Blinky what did you do? Love Blinky what did you do? That's cause you don't have to see it. You're blanking. Yeah, that's how Blinky works. I don't know, my IQ is a hundred.

All right, someone has to tell us if that's a good IQ. This one, the title is equity. Ooh, I love that. Would the kid get snake it and poke it out his horse's eyes? Yes. That's where you see Daniel Radcliffe naked on tape. Harry Potter and the full Monty. The number four has fascinated theologians for centuries. Several cultures consider the number four to be extremely unlucky because their name for

the number is very similar to the word for death. It is a curious mathematical oddity that 2 plus 2 equals 2 times 2 equals 4. So 2 plus 2 is 4 and 2 times 2 is 4. 4 is the only number that can be obtained by adding a number to itself and also by multiplying the same number by itself. Forst the only one. However, there are many pairs of different numbers that can be both added and multiplied together to give the same answer.

Can you find the pair? So this is a pair of different numbers that both adds to and multiplies to 4.5. Okay, this sucks. I do want to say 4.5. 4.5. I do want to say, I doies to 4.5. Okay, this sucks. I do wanna say, 4.5. 4.5. I do wanna say, okay.

I do wanna say, while you were reading this, I came up with something pretty cool, which is if you take a four and turn it upside down, my man, you got yourself a chair. Sad down. Yeah, you do. I was doing the math in my head.

Is that even a negative number? No, Aaron, no. Or is that a whole? None's a negative number, none's zero, but one of them, I don't think you will be surprised to know is a fraction. A negative number, like a number that's like, no one's ever gonna love me.

My job sucks. Yeah, that's a negative. But what worked the number part in there? Instead of saying have a seat, you should say pull up a four. Because someone did with that came into a restaurant and it was like, there's a four top. I mean, I know it. You mean a 16 top?

What if you went to the circus and they said, come to our four top? You're like, oh, that's not very big. I know it. You know what? Yeah. What is it? It's 1.5 and 3.

Yeah. Damn, Aaron, IQ of 100 over here. If I can ace it. You know what? Yeah, it's 1.5 and 3. Yeah Damn Aaron I give you a hundred over here if I could ace it Scoops, scoops, scoops, scoops, scoops, scoops Aaron you got it absolutely right. It is 1.5 and 3 you both add them together and multiply them and you get 4.5 Hold on hold on two two people are right just now today If you take a four and turn it upside down, isn't that a chair? A cursive four?

No. How do you write numbers in cursive? Cursive four is just music. I know that doesn't make sense, but it will make sense to someone. If it does make sense to you, your IQ is also a hundred. So everyone in this,

and your main or keen in, and you see colors instead of numbers Okay roll out you guys ready for this rule ludicrous Fuck this is a ludicrous what no world is in that bag what you got in that case Okay, tell me who's your house keeper and what are you keeping your house? What about diamonds at all? Is that what you keep in your mouth? and what are you keeping your house? What about diamonds and gold? Is that what you keep in your mouth? That song used to be on the radio 24-7.

I know that it used to be on the radio 24-7 because I still remember a lot of the lyrics. Okay. God, what a good song. Okay, so one of the most important tasks I have for you, the innkeeper told his new seller, boy, is keeping track of how much ale and wine we have. He waved at the row of tall oak barrels along the seller wall.

You need to be able to tell me when I get to halfway down a barrel so I can start prepping its replacement. I don't want you using any filthy sticks in my beer mind. You can take the lid off and look, nothing more. Ah, don't look like that lad, telling halfway is easy. So with no measuring device available other than your eyes and no indicators inside a barrel, how would you work out when the barrel is half empty? I would, and I would quit this job because this may not have stood down to me and fucking

me. You're a seller boy, Adel. I'm sorry, but... If you're going to be a botler to your botler, you better get used to being and fuck him. You're a seller boy, Adel. I'm sorry, but. If you're gonna be a butler to your butler, you better get used to being a seller boy. Adel, you don't get more bottom than seller boy. You are the bottom of, you're not even a man, you're a boy. And you're not even like a regular part

of a house you're in the seller. You are a seller. You're a basement man, you're a seller boy. Buy, seller, buy, seller. Adic man, addict king and seller boy. Buy, seller, buy, seller. Attic man, addict king and seller boy. That's my riddle. It's like, addict king in the evenings, seller boy in the board.

You know, I think if I was in medieval times and I had sex, I'd be a seller bottom. I would not have sex in the medieval times. Number one, this smell. Number two, I would certainly get pregnant right away. Number three, oh, I definitely don't want to give childbirth during, uh, give birth to a child during the medieval times. Number four, um, can't watch TV after. Can you imagine, hold on, can you, um, can you, uh,

for his four? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Can't watch TV after beat child mortality rates. Number five, I don't want to fall in love. Can you imagine trying to have sex? Number six, I'm not ready. Let's keep doing this. Can you imagine trying to have sex and someone's like,

oh, thank God, I'm so horny. Oh, thank God, Lord, I have sex with you. I'm gonna come. I killed chickens all day long and now I'm ready come. I can't check in, you'll die long, and now I'm ready for sex. This is closer to Ringo than my Ringo. That's true. I wanna see a scene.

Two of you are a medieval couple and you have, I don't wanna put you in a situation where you just had sex, because that's weird. So let's say that you are your two medieval women talking about how hard it is to have sex in the medieval times. I think it's how long you text to get on dress that gets me. Oh, Carolyn, there are no men around.

We can, we could dodge, we don't have to do that. There are no men around. Hey, trust me, I know. I'll use that voice as well because There are no men around we can we could that we don't have to do that there are no I Hey trust me. I know I use that voice as well because If I do that my husband's like I'm gonna sleep in the other room. So I I do sorry Did someone say husband knock? Oh Sorry, sorry, sorry, I said anything Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, anything Yeah, I can't forget to put this in the check in from the box can't listen to this much more on and head out

Bye, cannot cannot Can't be sorry just really hard to go back into it. So I like it's like I know you're a surf but have some ambition You know like oh my god. Yeah, surfs up He's just bids it all day surfing up there. Oh Can't stand it. I don't... Carolyn, have you ever thought about this? Have you ever thought, like, why don't we just, you know, we get along so well, I like

you. Why don't we cut the men out of the equation? I will say, my favorite part of the day is when I get to brush your hair for an hour. Because that's how a lot of takes. Well, we... There are no barbers. There's nothing to cut, so it's just been growing since I was a little girl, and now I'm a grown woman, and I'm 15 maybe. This is truly a terrible time. Wait, he's coming back, he's coming back. No, hold on, let me be 18. He's coming back, he's coming back.

Oh, uh, wiped out. Pretty good, uh, pretty big wave. I made you some porridge from my strong man who's away from his surfed up. Actually, I'm gonna go hit the waves. I'm gonna go hit the waves again. I'm gonna go hit the waves. I'm gonna go hit the waves. I'm okay, I'll live. You sealed. I would love to keep talking, but my throat is bleeding, so I'm gonna need a minute. See? Oh, yeah. That kills us.

That's how we die. All right, I got some questions about your little riddle, JPC. Okay. Do you like listen and knock on the thing to see like here? The slide is. Oh, that's a great question. No, so you are only using site.

You are only using site, you're not using any knocking or auditory things. So you can't, you can't like measure beforehand and then put like a little marker like inside the barrel. No, no dirty sticks in my barrel. But it could be on the outside of the barrel. What, yeah, I don't know that it's, it's, it does not involve the answer to this does not involve using a marker But I don't think a marker on the outside of the barrel and is he say no no dirty sticks in my barrel or no dirty dicks in my barrel It's it's too hard to say it's actually you literally just double check. I can't say that was real It's too hard to say what if you tap it at the halfway point and if it's like dripping out all the time,

you're not halfway there and if it stops dripping out, just ignore me. Just shove me out. Oh, oh, you're saying put the tap at the halfway point of the barrel, right? So that's a really good suggestion, but no, they're in the medieval times, so let's assume that there are no taps, and they're just ladling it out of the top of the barrel. Could you just lie? I like that answer. Always an option.

You could just lie. You would get fired if you do, and you are a seller boy, and this is the best job that you'll ever get. So this is your only chance at happiness. So it's Cite alone, though? It's Cite alone. Can you give us another hint? So yeah, so you can take the lid off and look, nothing more.

So it's Cite alone. You can only determine the only way to determine if it is halfway full is by sight, but you can also still touch the barrel. You can manipulate the barrel in another way. So you can turn it upside down. Well, yes, if you want to just lose all the liquid, if you want to dump it out, if you're done with the barrel,

I know. You don't have to barrel. Yes. You turn it like this way horizontally, and then half is still half. You have hit the nail on top of the head, which is the exact right hand. Oh my God, are you okay?

Oh my God, Adelaide put a nail in JBC's head, help me. No, no, it's good. My IQ, I feel like it's rising. I feel like maybe there was something bad in my brain that caused me to do all the police horse stuff and like the ghosts chickens. And can I just say, I just love Tom Hardy and IQ rising. But yes, you guys are doing all the jokes.

He's figuring it out. If you tip the barrel on its side just until the liquid inside touches the rim and then look in, the bottom of the barrel is visible at all. It's more than half empty. But if you tip it to the side and any of the barrel side is hidden, then it's more than half full. And if the liquid exactly reaches the joint, like if it's even on the joint, then you know it's exactly at half. But that is correct, for the most part.

I kind of did it. You got there. You got really close and that you basically got it. Aaron, in my eyes, you're a goddamn superstar. Thank you. I'm sorry I called you a seller boy. Wait, you did? Fuck you. eyes, you're a goddamn superstar. Thank you. I'm sorry. I called you a seller boy. Wait, you did? Fuck you. No, you're an addict king. You're an addict king. Not an addict king. You're an addict king.

Addle this next riddle is named after you. The title of this riddle is podcast star. Ooh, I'm kidding. It's idiot. I've owned Pulsak. You're drunk. Oh, I'm kidding, it's idiot. Oh, I want to suck your drum! So, the village of Wichurch was home to a particularly celebrated idiot. He was well known throughout the region for always having the wrong idea about money. You see, whenever he was offered his choice of two coins, he would inevitably take the

lowest value one, and then cvort off, utterly delighted with his erroneous choice. One clergyman, in particular, had trouble understanding why the fool behaved the way he did. He tried an entire range of combinations on the man, testing coins of different sizes, ages, and even shininess. Although the poor Redshin'd have no idea of the meaning of value, he still somehow managed to always take the option that would leave him worse off. In the end, the clergyman was able to rule out the coins weight, thickness, diameter, color, luster, and even age as the factor that made the idiot invariably descend on the offering of lesser value. It certainly wasn't just a bismuth bad luck.

So, how come the fool always took the less valuable coin? I can't see inside of man's head. I don't know his reasonings. Well, you can if you tip him halfway, and then you can see. Oh, okay, and then put a nail in the mouth. Vision hole. Also, this riddle,

shout out to the Shark Tank, but I was playing a video game and this riddle was featured in that video game. And it's near a, near a tomato, this riddle was in that game. And when I read this riddle, I was like, oh, holy shit, that was in that video game. It jogged my memory. Well. So why does this person, how does this person always take the lower value coin? How come they always seem to take the less valuable of the coin? You can offer this person any two coins and they'll always take the less valuable one.

Is it the way that it's presented to him, like the person who's giving it to him, like you can tell that they wanna hold on to the more valuable coin? No, everyone genuinely, I think, is offering an even trade, like they could take either coin. And it's not like wait or scratchiness or anything like that. It's not weight thickness, diameter, color,

luster, or even age. And it has nothing to do with the metal it's made out of? It does not have to do with the metal that it's made out of, correct. You guys are asking all the right questions and you're really gonna get us there. So let's see, what else could be going on here? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, can we get a hint? Um, boy oh boy, let me see. Does it have something to do with the actual coins or does it have something to do with like the idiots reasoning? Or it has everything, it has everything to do with the reasoning. Okay, so what do idiots like the idiots reasoning or everything. It has everything to do with the reasoning. Okay.

So what do idiots like? Um, idiots like dogs named spaghetti, girlfriend name, Ryan. Call it duty, man. Warfare. Um, that's Tiaski. Hmm. What is going on? It's, it's his reasoning, but it has nothing to do with how it's presented.

It doesn't have to do with anything that, yeah, that's how it's presented. So let me read this part again. It's in the village of Whitchurch. It's home to a particularly celebrated idiot. He's well known throughout the region for always having the wrong idea about money. Whenever he was offered his choice of two coins, he would inevitably take the lowest value one and then covert off utterly delighted with his erroneous choice.

It's not like an animal, he's a man. He's a man. If there's nothing about the physical factors of the coin, I don't understand how he could tell. I don't know, this is stumped me. This is how they sound, how they. Call me a cut down tree, because I am cut down. All right, well here.

I'll give you a hint. Put yourself in this idiot shoes. Ah! Ah! What, the shoes are painful to you. What? The shoes do what? I only make it with different seconds. I choose to hot. I only microwave different 10 seconds.

I choose, I choose. The box says 10 seconds. You know when you like sitting in a spot on a couch or someone was just sitting in a twirmer, saying what shoes? That's why they call them case-wiss because you have to melt them in the oven the microwave for 10 seconds before you wave them.

Um, whoah, boo. Too hot. Whoah Who boo. I so we put we put ourselves in this idiot shoes. What do we do? Someone comes up and they offer you the choice of two coins. Okay, now I can now what fucker. I can give you the answer if you really want it.

If you think you guys deserve it. Yeah, this is this really stuff. This is a great riddle because I'm a little bit lost. So it's a little bit of a tricky language because it's called idiot and they referred him as an idiot in a fool multiple times in the riddle, but the quote unquote idiot knew perfectly well that as soon as he took the more valuable coin, people would lose interest and stop giving him money. But until then, people would just keep giving him money.

So this guy actually knew the value of the coins. He would always take the lowest value one so that people would be more encouraged to be like, try this stupid guy out. Oh, he was a genius. Yeah, we guess I guess, I guess secret genius. We couldn't get it because we're not secret geniuses ourselves. We're very, very openly public idiots.

I mean, let me just say something. If you dedicate 90 days to being the town celebrity and you make a dollar 13 over 90 days while pouring all your time and energy into that, you're not a fucking genius. This is medieval times. And with inflation, a dollar 13, this guy'd be Jeff Babesos today.

Let me ask you this,, I wanna see a scene. At all, we are all going to be three friends hanging out and we're gonna be talking about ordering a pizza. But you keep being in favor of ordering the shittiest pizza possible, cool? Great. What do you guys think of like pepperoni? Cottage cheese.

Sorry, did you sneeze? What just happened? Cut his cheese on the pizza. Oh, Jeff, we're having pizza. Yeah, here's what you do. We tell them we want the thickest crust possible. We want a base, no marinara sauce, we want a base of cut his cheese, and then we want nutmeg on top.

Wait, I'm sorry, the base is not, you don't even have sauce. The cut his cheese is really good. Yeah, no marinara, no all friday,, we want cottage cheese and then nutmeg on top. Yeah, Jeff, I know we're all working late tonight and this is just the Domino's app. So I don't know unless you had a different pizza place in mind that kind of does more specialty stuff or... What's your second choice of pizza, Jeff?

Yeah, what's your second, let's go something that maybe everyone can enjoy so a nice neutral, like a your second let's just let's go something that maybe everyone can enjoy so like a nice like a neutral like a default second choice Okay, I sausage and mushrooms I would do melted popsicle Did you sneeze again Say what Sagan popsicle and now I got to know is that the base the sauce the cheese or the topping? Tell me it's not the crust. You have them, you have them not make anything out of dough,

you have them, melt a popsicle, put that into a pizza pan, melt a popsicle, pour it into a pan, re-freeze it, top that with cilantro, put it in the oven, and then ship it over to us. Okay, again, ship it over to us. So she is just like an international chef. Again, we're using the dominant sauce.

So it's melted juice with cilantro in it. Yeah, I don't I'm sorry Maybe I'm sorry, maybe I'm in it, but I don't understand the problem Third choice. Yeah, maybe something Jeff that those are great. Those are great. Maybe like solo pizza ideas for just you or when you're with your family But let's try to think of something that everybody maybe can have a couple slices of that we would all maybe enjoy eating a couple Oh a couple slices. Oh, okay craft cheese maybe enjoy eating a couple of oh a couple of slices Oh, okay craft cheese craft singles. Okay, sort of so that so cheese. That's good That's the cheese, right? We love the idea. So why don't we just do a cheese Jeff would you eat just a cheese pizza? I would eat just cheese Okay, okay, so you you want us to just order cheese from Dav? Yeah. Well, maybe they can put it in a little cup for you.

Okay. Okay. I think I have it. Okay. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't guarantee you don't tell them. Tell them. Tell them. I admittedly, I feel like a fool, but because of, you know, I have to admit, for this one we would have to call them and not use the app. We would have to call them. So we start with gingerbread. Does that make sense? Okay. Yeah, we're with you so far. Okay, then we do marzipan, fondant, skittles. You say fondant like fondant?

Fondant, okay. Skittles, okay, we do some rosemary, some sage, okay. We top that with the seedee. Okay. And then we put pants on it. We put pants on it. Sure. What seedee?

Uh, diamonds on the soul's on my shoe. Grace land. Uh huh. So we've got it. Uh, pulse out Simon album. Yeah, pulse out Simon album. Uh, put pants on it. Get, get you.

Uh, belts on a pants. Roll up the cuffs on the pants. Stuff those with eggplant. Okay, put little shoes on them. Uh-huh, shoes on them. Hot shoes, cold shoes. Warm, warm. Microwave 10 seconds.

Warm, warmed. Sure. Put those pants on a scarecrow and have it walk over. Yeah, okay. You know what, actually, Paul Simon sounds really good right now. Why don't we skip dinner tonight? Let's just go back to doing our lung cancer research I like that we're working late and the thing we're working late on is lung cancer. Well, we care, Adel

Who I had a rough night. I pulled an all-nighter trying to solve cancer. Yeah, but if you could have done it at one night, you'd be saying it a different, too. This one is this one, the title of this riddle is called Riddle Me Re. Riddle Me Re. Ever speaking, still awake. Please most, when most I speak, the delight of old and young, though I speak without a tongue. Not but one thing can confound me many voices joining around me. Then I fret in rave and gabball, like the laborers of babble. I can bleat or I can sing like the worblers of the spring. Let the lovesick bard complain and I mourn the cruel pain. Let the happy swain rejoice and I join my helping voice. Though a lady I am stout,

drums and trumpets bring me out. Then I clash and roar and rattle, join in all the dine of battle. Much I dread the courtiers' fate when his merits out of date for a hate a silent breath and a whisper is my death. Ha, want one pack? Bring those star. Is it I want to suck your drums and trumpets? Mandolin. Organ, piano, guitar.

It is not an instrument but that's a great guess. Echo, wind. You got an egg. Is it an echo? You did? You tried Fecta of Echo, Wind, and Egg, and it was one of them? Oh, guys, that's a new t-shirt. I never say that's a new t-shirt, but Echo, Wind, and Egg.

Echo, wind, and egg. If we ever start at Earth Wind and Fire Cover Band, it has to be called Echo, Wind, and Egg. Which we should. I love that wind is still in there. I feel like we should start this September. The great, we should have dimmy back on the guest at that episode. There you go. We would do that. The great thing about this was I read this whole riddle earlier today. I read that the answer was Echo. I was like, it doesn't even matter what the riddle is. They're going to get it. it They'll guess echo eventually and it was the second thing out of your fucking that's our that's our dirty secret is Anytime you don't know the answer to a riddle if you guess echo wind or egg

You're 50% of time you're right 100% of time Okay, and while we're telling dirty secrets Aaron do you have any dirty filthy secrets that you would like to plug perhaps? I heard that Adel had a toe surgery and that JPC didn't scratch away a peanut butter college. We're going to cut all this out of here. Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. I have some projects coming out soon that I'm excited about.

So check me out there and our Aaron, keep 2 on Twitter, whatever you want to do. Adel. I would like to promote a podcast. I was on called All Sphere in lava and floor. It is a it is a podcast that reviews the hit show, the floor is lava with a couple of friends of mine. So please check that out. All Sphere in lava and floor.

That's that's a new show, right? Yeah, I know it's from 2010. Yeah. The show came out, I think last month maybe, and then I think the podcast is, I think I was on episode two, so the podcast is very recent as well. So this is, you can always follow me over on Twitch,

twitch.tv slash shark barkman, I play video games over there. I stream I've been streaming other things too. I've been streaming board games and stuff there too But follow me over on Twitch, even if you don't use a twitch give me a follow God I also have this from my 24 hour charity stream that I did like a couple months ago Person bots and plugs and I finally nailed down their plugs. So follow a girl named Truck on Twitch, follow Speed underscore dad on Twitch,

follow Tessica Kirk Art on Instagram, hit up at RaffaSor, anywhere you need to talk someone, listen to NeoSkum, listen to the campaign podcast, and donate to your local Black Lives Matter fund. Did you say speed, Dad? Is that a dad who can't be under the age of 55?

Yeah, it's a dad who can't drive under 55. That's funny, I like that. My brain's moving slow. I like that. And that concludes my plugs. Aaron, I can't believe when you and Adel were talking about this earlier than the episode, I completely fucking spaced on it. I am loving this reality TV show.

It's from 2002. So what do they do? Is it's this whole, I guess, these nine friends that have to live together in one solar system. But get this. There's one of these dickheads that cannot get along with everyone else. Would you take a guess? No.

Oh, I got a beer. Bye for everybody. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to fucking get it. 107 episodes still get surprised. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to fucking get it. I'm going to still get surprised. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That was a HitGum podcast.