Hey Riddle Riddle - #109: Dollar Signs & Question Marks!

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

In this episode we're cooking with fire baby!...vs. cooking with....not cooking? We got some wild life updates (Assassins?!), some hot bedroom talk, a lesson on Macro Economics, some panning for gold, stoned pontifications and a Daniel Day Lewis debate! Put your tray tables up and keep an eye on your dog, it's Hey Riddle Riddle!! #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!

I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!

I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! Aaron yes fire We must fire I do look good today. What no, we must fire JPC fire Okay, let me rub these sticks together and then throw on YouTube doing Have a seat have a seat have a seat. What do you mean have a seat fire fired? I'm sorry. You're being fired like your fire me

Severance package. Let's see this severance package. I'll be here. 14 rocks. Health 14 rocks. Tintel rocks, little health. That's actually not bad. Six. You should just quit. That's a lot of money. I've got to get a fall for that. I already have a severance package full of rocks. I've been front of me. I'm not definitely not going to quit. Don't you want to collect unenrockment? I bet bullshit. I'm not falling for this. Or a rock-k.

That's not part of quitting. I would actually lose the employer match is what I'm losing. Can we ask you something? Sure, yes. What's that? Aaron and I both cave people. Where are you from? Family guy?

I think I... Ah! Ah! Ah! I'm Family Guy Refi. I'm Jay Peter Griffithsie. And I'm Aaron. It's Dewey.

Giggity, giggity. And we are, hey, Riddle. If you're joining us for the first time, we try and solve riddles and puzzles, and we do improvise scenes along the way. So, strap in, fucker. Yep, it's a roller coaster ride of riddles and emotions. It's a roller coaster ride.

Here's the thing. It's a roller coaster ride, and you have to be this dumb to ride. Mm-hmm. That's pretty funny. It's a roller coaster ride and you have to be this dumb to ride. That's pretty funny. And also a side note, you're never too short to ride an emotional roller coaster. That's true, little known fact. I would also just like to shout out if it is your first time listening. Welcome, if it's not your first time listening, but you do like the show, go to iTunes and leave us a review. We would love a review. We just got a great review from a brand new listener on iTunes that was four stars.

Again, not my favorite, but I'll take it. But what they said in the review was that it wasn't what they were looking for because they wanted something that was more riddled-focused, but they're still listening. So I think that that's great. Oh, that's nice. It's a little bit like going to a cracker barrel

and living at four stars and being like, not an Arby's. I'm like, yep. That is true. I would be disappointed if I thought Hey, Riddle Riddle was an Arby's and it wasn't an Arby's. What is your favorite thing to get an Arby's Aaron? I don't think I've ever set four foot into an Arby. I wouldn't set four in an Arby's.

I wouldn't set any of my fine folks or knives in an Arby's. You've literally never had Arby's that's insane. Here's my knives in an Arby's. You've literally never had Arby's? That's insane. Here's my first thing about Arby's. My first thing about Arby's is every six months, for the last five years, every six months on Twitter, somebody posts that Arby's stands for the letters

RB, roast beef, and everyone loses their mind. It's very easy. It stands for what? When you wanna get 500,000 likes, just wait four months and post that and people will lose their mind. You mean to shrimp fry this Arby's? Aaron, of course, the best item at Arby's

is the Curly Fry's. They're season. Are those the curries? I can't imagine what they are. Here's what I want to do. Well, if you can do Arby's for review, crew. Can you have a, yeah, the mystery of Arby's, can you have a shake?

You can have shakes, right? Yeah, I don't want to though. Nobody wants to, that wasn't the question. Aaron, you can, this might sound crazy. You can have snacks, right? Well, I am one, so that's cannibalism. Yeah, this is my snack. Here, I wanna go around the horn

and we're each gonna say our favorite fast food restaurant. Long John Silver's for me. Yeah, it's just long John Silver's. And I love it. I can't get enough. It's so insane. That's an essential part of your personality. It's my favorite.

Long John Silver's is the answer. You should be buried in a long John Silver. Well hold on. Oh please. Oh please, Fred your asses in a long John Silver's. We promise. Merry me at sea. My favorite has to be Taco Bell

because they have more vegetarian options but they just had a way with all the potato items. They took them all off the fucking menu. Yeah, I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry, because all I'm thinking about is us putting Adel's body in a robot, opening a long john silver store, pushing it in and then shooting an arrow at it in the middle of a long gun. I thought, very me at C plus fast food restaurants. I thought we were gonna dunk him in the fryer. Oh yeah.

Slowly lower him as an organ to place. Yes, turn me, all I wanna do is be turn into those little crispsies at the bottom of all their food baskets. Well, I didn't discover my favorite fast food restaurant until my 20s and it is Culfers. Oh, that's a nice thing. Well, that's a nice thing. Well, yeah, and I never had it until I lived in Chicago

and started going on road trips with my friends. And I was like, what's this now? When we were driving to Milwaukee to open up for Mimim Bam, and I feel like we were, maybe we weren't running late, but I feel like we were on a pretty tight schedule. Aaron saw a sign for Culver's and goes, can we get Culver's? And so we, like a little kid.

I want to say we flipped the car off the highway and waited on the roof. I don't know if that's 100% right. No, I'm remembering that too. Did we all get culverts on the way back from that escape room too? Yeah, we did, that was nice. Yeah, that'd be really good to feel like friends in that moment, just sitting at a culvert.

Maybe it's on the way down, it was on the way down I think. And on the way back, we played 40 different way down. I think and on the way back we played 40 different song games Uh-huh, and we stopped at another culverts That was an excellent night, I think I learned a lot about JPC's family. We all became better friends um the Day we drove to open from a bimbam We had recorded all morning starting at like 8 a.m. Oh, yeah That was the longest day in Hey Riddle Riddle history and we had had world news the night before

So I had just spent like 24 hours with you guys We recorded four episodes to bank a ton and then we drove to Milwaukee to do a show in front of the live studios What a wild time what a wild time is everyone? Everywhere when was that would you say? I don't know when that was I want to say that was November. I want you say? I don't know when that was. Was that the thing? I wanna say that was November. I wanna say that was in November. That was in November.

That was the fall, okay. Yeah, yeah. I can never remember what life was like before the end times. And so I'm like, when did we all drive in cars to a theater? Have we all met before? Why would we ever do that? How is everyone's week? Here's something I'll talk about.

I don't think I've talked about it on the podcast yet. Gemma and I are, we put it in an offer for our house. And today, we had our inspection, which had to have been the most stressful, this was the most stressful morning of my life. They found some things. A woman with a big white glove comes on and she runs her finger over and then like, then like you with the dirt and it says not to be clean

Is it's at all? I want to dinner without bed. I want to dinner without bed. Oh boy That's all that's all that's how Today I'm having dinner without bed Go I want to sleep before I eat. Please let me sleep. No, dinner and then you'll stay awake to breakfast. I think it went well. The house we're hoping to buy, it's an amazing house, but it is, I think it's like 90

years old or 92 years old. So they found things that they were like, the guy was like, hey, I found all this stuff, but for a house to say, this is very, very typical. So hopefully it all works out. We'll see. Well, we're both so happy for you. It was so exciting when we found out that you had put it in offer.

We can't wait to come over to the house and visit in 2026. I think I'm going to say 20 years. I'll be bringing my grandkids. And if you're one of my kids, you're listening, get busy because Papa needs grandkids. And if you're one of my kids, you're listening, get busy, cause Papa needs grandkids. And there's something about the house that I won't share now, but if we get it, I'll share. That's very exciting.

It's hot, too. Yesterday in Chicago, we were actually supposed to record yesterday, but there was like a free 100 mile per hour storm. And today I was walking out in my neighborhood and just seeing all the destruction. This thing fucked up the neighborhood y'all. I don't live around a lot of trees. What's the tree situation up north like? The tree situation is so obviously there were some trees. There's a lot of like old big trees in my

neighborhood. Obviously some trees struck by lightning and got like ripped up. But some trees look like they straight up just blew down. Like split and has blew down because the wind was so hard. I did walk past one tree that was in someone's porch. Like it had gone into their house. Oh my God. Can you imagine that's so scary? It didn't, it would be terrifying.

It did not look like it hit, it looked like it hit like an entryway. It didn't, I was wondering how the people could get out of their house. I'm assuming they must have a back door, but it was like their front door was fucked up because the tree hit him. You told me you found out that the tree that was trying to go into the house, that was actually an end. No, what I said was the tree was coming

from inside the house. I thought I had folded it to the house. It was bursting out of the house. It was like, get me the fuck out of this house. The people in here are crazy. Speaking of crazy, are we crazy to go ahead and only nine minutes in, does launching system release in places?

I have something to say about my week on my own. Oh, Aaron, please. Oh my gosh, yes. I had a, Aaron, you have one minute ish left because 10 minutes and we've already burned 30 of it. So you have 20 seconds left, 10. Well, I have a crazy story.

So I've been having a really bad week in general but the icing on the cake was on Sunday. I was sitting, so connected to my building is this gated park where you can go and walk dogs and in order to get in you have to have a key to the building. It's very nice. But I was sitting sort of in the middle of the park, maybe 15 feet or so away from the even the fence part. So like where people walk by. So I'm like really inside the park. I'm on the phone with Arnie Parrott who wrote our theme, talking to him about a new theme that we're writing for an episode coming up.

And I'm outside with my dog and she's on my feet and I'm petting her. And while I'm on the phone, this woman turns up to the game. I am so sorry, we're out of time. I appreciate you trying. People are gonna roast you. If you interrupt the lady telling a story, good luck to you the rest of the day on Twitter. I, rules are rules. All right, Addle, what do we have?

Oh my God, you guys, this is literally the only time I've had an absolutely crazy story to tell on this show. Please, please finish. This woman walks up to the gate and goes, well, I'm on the phone, interrupts me and goes, excuse me, how old your dog? And I was like, oh, she's two.

And then I go back on the phone and she goes, excuse me, your dog is very cute. And she has the weirdest vibe and energy I've ever seen. And I was like, okay. She's in the fence? No, she's outside of the fence. She's walking on the sidewalk on the outside, holding on to the fence, trying to get my attention

with my dog. And I had seen her stop and like, ask about a dog before. So I was like, maybe she just really likes dogs. And I was like, thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. And then I'm continuing my phone call, trying not to be rude to Arnie.

And then I see this woman, reaching to her pocket, take out an unmarked gummy and throw it directly at Lou. Nope, nope. The most perfect aim I've ever seen, and it's this blue gummy, and it looks like a marijuana gummy.

It doesn't look like a name brand, anything. And Lou immediately eats it. And I know, I mean, I was obsessed with looking at like the can't eat list for dogs and sugar-free gummies can kill them Like a meat like like so toxic. They're in the top 10 things that dogs can't eat and also it could have drugs So I'm on the phone with Arnie and poor Arnie I must have said a terrifying because I just was screaming like did you just feed my fucking dog and she takes off running

In a dead sprint and I'm just screaming trying to get my dog to throw up like digging in her mouth can't get it out. That person is trying to kill him. Killer, I'm sorry. I know what we keep saying that Lou had someone tried to assassinate her this week. You don't run if you're innocent. I know. I know.

And so I call you. You don't know what got me. And you didn't want me to tell the story. Oh, I know. Aaron, I am concerned when you said that this woman threw gummy and she had the most perfect aim, was this woman kangaroo feet junior? Maybe.

Okay. See, but here, but it was so disorienting because why? Like, shit. I don't even like the idea of someone giving my dog a treat on the street, even if they're with another dog. It's just like a bad vibe. Nobody feed anyone else's dog.

It's bad news. Also, if you know anything about dogs, sugar-free gummies are so, they can kill them. Just kill them. Why do you give a dog a gummy? I don't, well, I think she was trying to hurt her. Was the intention? Yeah, honestly.

Give a dog a gummy. There's no other, like, she just, it's not like she was throwing her treat and her vibe was I'm telling you like weird and kind of scary and not like out of touch or like socially unaware, like alert and nuts. That's so strange. So when you texted us on Monday that Lou was dead,

is that what that meant? No, no, no, no. When you said they finally caught the dog park tosser, was that what that meant? No, no, no, no. When you said they finally caught the dog park tosser, was that what you meant? No, it's actually not what I meant. It's not, that guy's still at large. So in a complete panic, we rushed her to the emergency hospital.

Is she okay? Yeah, and they made her throw up and they got the gummy out. And yeah, they, like, based on, like, smell and everything, it was like, I think she gave her like a marijuana gummy. That if it had been sugar-free, could have easily killed her, really, like, really fucked up her body for a while.

And Aaron, to make a dog throw up, you typically describe foods that aren't another dog's ass, right? Yeah. And that crosses them out. Yeah, you talk about how much you, like, cat, and they're like, oh, god. Yeah. But isn't that crazy?

That is wise. It's one of the weirdest moments of my life because of absolutely how I was telling my therapist today, like, my brain is constantly going over the worst case scenario of what can happen in any given moment. And I never in a million years thought I would be 15 feet away from a sidewalk. And a woman also, she should go into some sort of sport that involves aim. I've never seen anything like it in my life. It was incredible. If she's a professional dog assassinated, sounds like she's in the exact right field.

Like she... And I do have to step in and say most sports involve aim. So... Whatever, not all of them. Not if you're running towards a finish line. Well, I guess you're still aiming for the finish line wait there's some sports i don't want to erin truly the woman described if you had if you described that character to

david lynch to put into twin peaks he'd be like to absurd that's right absolutely bonkers i did i i've yelled at an old man once who was going into his pocket to get like he was like obviously a lonely old guy who carried dog treats around Fuck you. He tried to give spaghetti a dog treat and I was like dude no. What do you fucking do it? I was like I don't know what that is like you're not gonna feed my fucking dogs Something that I don't know what it is. He's like a treat. It's like but and I wouldn't even let a sweet well-intentioned person feed my dog. You guys, isn't that crazy?

I was so stressed out, I thought I might die. That is wild. And JPC, I tried to say fuck you because you said, I once yelled at a lonely old man, and I was trying to pretend it was me. I yelled at a lonely old man. You're not lonely. I'm you from the future! And I was like, good.

I'm ready for riddles. I need to tell you guys that. I need to tell you guys that. We just got a two star review that said, why aren't you not doing more riddles in this episode? So people are listening. And here we go. Those are episode specifics.

So go ahead and go to iTunes. Leave us those episode specific reviews. And please, I'm trying. Really have a lot of time. I'm trying to get to these riddies. Aaron, that story was phenomenal. And I don't want you to,

all jokes aside, I don't want you to think that I did not want to hear that story. It's a crazy. Let's do some warm up pretty some putty's here we go. How many peas are there in a pint? One one Okay, explain the letter pint the word pint the letter P in pipe Incorrect. There's 137 peas can fit into a pint. It's kind of fun What do you mean fun? That's not real.

No, the letter, there's one, this letter P. Oh great. You two are geniuses, what do you want from me? Did we really get it? So the misdirect was we were trying to think of how many Ps could fit into a pint. Uh huh. Well, I want to say a scene.

And the two of you are college roommates and you're just two Ps in a pod. And everything you do, you describe in tasty foods. Okay. What? And what if you use a mountain line? Okay, hold on. Stop it.

Press, press, press, press, press, press. And it's 1924. No. Oh my god, wait, are you going to class? Uh, yeah, I have like a 1030 econ. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a 1030 econ. Mm. Mm. Mm. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sarah, I don't want to go, but it's econ. I kind of have to go. Why don't you just come with me? You never go to any classes. No, I'll just explain the economy to you so you can stay. OK, yeah, I get, I mean, if you truly, here's the textbook,

if you truly think that you can get, it's a macro econ. Great, let me just peruse. I mean, if you truly, here's the textbook, if you truly think that you can get, it's a macroecon. Great, let me just peruse. Awesome, what do you wanna know? I guess like, let's just start with like big picture, like what is macroeconomics? Okay, great, so the big picture on the front of this book

is less of a picture, it is more just as macroeconomics. But there is a picture. Yeah, it is of dollar signs and question marks. Alright, everyone, have a seat for today's presentation. These two are going to explain to us as per their assignment what macro economics is. So I'm not technically in this class, but this is my roommate. So I am going to be- But she's my bestie. She's my bestie. And she said she wanted to work on this project with me. Claire, thank you so much for being here with me. We do everything together. I'm going to silently act out what Jenny says. Nice. Yes. Claire is going to be interpreting a la a short form game. What I am saying

through her actions. This is going to translate super well. I know this is being recorded for a podcast for class. This is going to translate super well to the podcast. Great, here we go. Macro economics, well, there's two types of economics. There's dollar signs and question marks. And if the dollar signs. I don't need to hear anything more, A plus. My dad's a senator.

See, the perfect button to any scene. the day plus. I don't need to hear anything more. A plus. My dad's a senator. See. What the? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. The perfect button to any scene. My dad's a senator. Aaron was acting it out for everyone who will never see it. I can bet. We'll turn that video into audio.

Here we go. Here's your next warm up, Ritty. I drive men mad for the love of me. Easily beaten, never free. What am I? I drive men mad, John Ham. For the love of me, easily beaten, never free. What am I?

I wanna say, I don't wanna get in trouble for this, but I wanna say, dat pussy. Yes, dat pussy is easily beaten, but never free. Is dat pussy, which is my favorite French electronic aduot. Dap pussy. Um, yeah, I grew up in Lime from Wap. What'd you say Aaron? I agree with JPC.

And can you say it? Lemme. Okay, here's the thing. Yeah, eggs. It's not eggs. It's easily beaten, never free. But it's not,. It's on eggs. It's easily beaten, never free. But it's not, doesn't drive people mad. By what?

I want to see a scene. JPCU and I are a couple about to get romantic. And both of us are trying to get romantic. And we are very passionate, very much in love, very much both want this, but we have a hard time talking dirty. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Before we get into it, I just want to look at you.

I just want to read your book, ask with my eyes. Oh my gosh, here. And I'm going to take off my shirt and shimmy batting. Yeah, oh yeah, ooh, I want to see that part of you where your back meets your butt. Oh yeah, you like that? Yeah, that's the sexiest part. You want to cough on my dick?

Okay folks, so we are in the middle of a best buy. So we're gonna have to ask you to leave. What? We're making a purchase. We're making a purchase. Because we're being too naughty. Yeah, you're sort of making out mostly naked in the middle of a best buy.

We were going to buy this three doors down CD, or one of these three doors down CD. What if I could buy a really big enough of a purchase to let you, if you're going to buy one of these flat screens, then you can do whatever you want. Speaking of flat screens, I'm going to put my Toshiba in his vines. All right, Mark Holden. Mark Hold hold on I'm in the middle of the transaction

Any of these flat screens even this like he can't no no what is he's flat screen? Speaking 18 inches Mark come on grow up you wish I'm trying to grow This happens to everyone. Okay, what are these anyone other top shelf? Oh, these are big. Yikes, that's a price tag. How is anyone paying $16,000 for a TV?

They're not. Please loot this store. I'll place my cold balls on my own forearm. Hey Mark, it's not cute. I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had sex. All right, we're actually going to start projecting this. And now it's on all the screens See I

Drive men mad for the love of me easily beaten never free. What am I cash cash money? You're getting close Cash monkey the lottery Just like Clive O and you're closer What's not the lottery easily? It's not the lottery? Easily. It's not the lottery. Sudoku puzzles. No, cold. Easy difficulty Sudoku puzzles. Colder.

Colder. A warmer. Thanks. A warmer. What do you mean? What do you mean? A Vance's warmer? Colder.

Beat the odd stock market. Sorry, I'm, I'm, sorry, I'm talking to Gemma about our nest. Colder. Warmer. 71. You should just put it on 71. Stock market. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm talking to Gemma about our nest colder warmer. So you should just put on 71. She's drawing me a bath colder warmer colder. It's a bath. It doesn't have delicate temperature controls. I'm just dumping more water into other water. Yeah, and why are we all playing Stuy Griffin? I drive men mad for the love of me easily beaten, never free. Die hard, what am I?

I don't know. We were warm with banks. Or money? Who said warm with banks? You said warm with money. Aaron said banks, you said warmer. Yeah, banks money, you're warmer. Okay, okay.

Is your holder warmer than money or is banks colder than money? It's about equal, I'd say money is slightly warmer. Okay, okay. Is Banks warmer than money or is Banks colder than money? It's about equal. I'd say money is slightly warmer. Okay, well, that's not what you said. In fact, in fact, then you know she said lottery and then- I know everyone's mad right now, but I really like it here. Wait, I'm sorry.

Agent Cody Banks, warmest. Oh, okay, so spy. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Frankie Mune is. Frankie Mune is. Thank you, Mune. That's not welcome in the middle. No, it's definitely not. Malcolm in the middle is, what's the theme song?

Whoever thinks it would be for him? It's, they might be giants. Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. They call me Dr. Warren. Mm-hmm. Okay, I'm gonna give you one more hint. Yeah.

I love... Gold? Gold, Dad. Baby that cribs? Gold. I drive men mad for the love of me, easily beaten, never free. Gold is a very malleable metal. Um, I would like to see a scene.

Um, you two have gone west for the gold rush and you're sifting. What is it called? Panting for gold. Yeah, but there's a what's a off I'll think of it later. You're doing that and someone's find something that isn't gold but is pretty interesting. Carl, I'm telling you we can't stop here. We should go to California. Okay. Virginia has no gold. Virginia's far enough. Okay, all those other fools are rushing out to California We're gonna find our gold right here in this here Virginia river. All right, so put my little sifter down here What wait, what is that called? What's that? What is that called the action? I've been calling it a colander because I know that's what you do with like

Poster and spaghetti and stuff like that, but I don't know what it's called calendar it's calendar? yeah huh uh... you never heard of a calendar? no what do you call one of these?

call a sifter you know and I call it panning for gold what no a sifter has much smaller uh... holds in it and that's like used for like flour like sifter sifter never knew how much I missed her I don't get that song someday

Anyway, let's okay pan for the goal. Oh wait wait. You see that glint What is that? Holy shit, I guess I do see that glint the glint in your eye that I've never seen and I'm recognizing now for the first time I think I'm pregnant How Well we both know time. I think I'm pregnant. How? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, we both know how. Well, I mean, first of all, the two of us do it together. Can't not result in a pregnancy.

Oh yeah? Well, how would I mush my mashed potatoes into your side? I'm sorry, I want to... Excuse me, sir, the blue shirt. Can we get this three doors down CD and an album for a bat? Get out. See. Here we go.

We're going to do two more warm-ups. Next one is a sundial has the fewest moving parts of any time piece. Which has the most. So which a sundial has the fewest moving parts of any time piece, which is none. Which time piece has the most? The piece sign. Stop pocket watch, regular clock.

I'm so sorry, did stop. Dead stop. You think the sun has the least amount of moving parts? No, I see the most amount. Wait, it has the most amount. You think the sun has the most amount of moving parts. No, I see. It has the most. You think the sun has the most amount of moving parts? Part to calls. Yeah, dummy. Suns are human though.

Close up pictures of the sun. There's fucking shit happening up there. It is a party up there. There is movement. It's moving fast. There's not a bunch of rocks up there. We are a hot, hot heat up there. I got to see you, scene.

Aaron, you are a teenage hot heat up there. I gotta see a scene Aaron you are a Teenage woman who has just gotten stone for the first time and you are suddenly Super interested and Hypothetically informed on what's happening on the Sun and it's really blowing your mind Hey dad Yeah, Tina. Can I borrow the ladder from the garage? Oh yeah Tina. Uh, can I borrow the ladder from the garage? Can you borrow the ladder?

Are you taking it somewhere? Yeah, well yeah. I'm using it to get somewhere. What, what did you lose a ball up on the roof or something? Is there something I can help you do? No, I'm going to put the ladder on top of the roof. I'm sorry, you're going to take the ladder to the roof and then put the ladder on top of the roof.

Tina, what's going on? I don't really have time for this dad there's only about like three hours a day light left. Tina I'm starting to get a little bit concerned what are you trying to do with the ladder on the roof? Oh dad you never let me do anything fun or go to any fun parties. Here's the thing I got a little high man and I googled the surface of the sun and it looks like an absolute time and a half and I'm rip-roar and go. I'm going to climb up, I'm going to reach, reach, reach, and then I'm going to make it to the sun. Tina.

What? Okay, first of all, the marijuana thing, I'm not upset, but it is something that we will talk about. Second of all, you think that you're going to be able to get to the sun by climbing a ladder from the roof? Tina, that's never gonna work. What we need to do is we need to build a ramp. All right. And then hit that ramp with the car. By the way, full disclosure, I did find a little bit

if you're Marijuana and I smoked a little bit for something else. I'm not mad about that and we will talk about that later, but I don't think the ramp gonna work. We have to talk about that. I think you're gonna double bounce me on a trampoline. See, I'll drive my car into the trampoline. See, Meredith, Meredith.

Adam, we're gonna figure this out. If you let us do this, we'll figure the way that we do this. I will be climbing to the sun. A sundial has the fuse moving parts of any time piece, which has the most? A regular clock. Okay, that is intractable. Did you do a clock? I it the is it the peace sign?

Yeah, it has. No, it has. No, the hand has how many bones? Oh, car. The hand bones connected to the car bones. My hand bones connected to you, dick bone. I'm jerking you off in a closet. Please be silent when you come. And that's, and your rejection for America's fondest childhood memories. America's fondest memories. You might be a stop tonight. So let that camera show. So here's my first thing about America's funniest videos.

Is every single time, it's like a cat jumps out of a couch and then it's Bob Sagat being like, Oh, what's going on over here? And then they pan to the audience, losing their mind, or it's like a parrot doing something, and it's like, Paul, you want a radio? Well, we didn't have the internet then, Adel. That's right.

Also, all of those studio audience, they were pumping in 02, so you were fucking slap-happy high as shit-frozen. Ooh, just like casinos and Vegas. Error, well somebody gave an answer, would you say? A car. A car. You think a car, what timepiece, okay explain that.

Well there's like a clock connected to a car, I don't know. I mean, I'll take it. It's got the most moving parts. Yes, a sundial has the fewest moving parts of any time piece, which has the most. So what you have to do is you have to really rack those brains about different types of time pieces throughout time. So, Sundial. Big, big Ben. Okay. There's clocks, obviously. There's watches.

Seems like you can't stop talking about clocks. And that's not it. Pocket watches. Okay. There are... Still a pocket clock? Yeah, another type of clock. There's digital clocks, sure.

So, I don't know if you know this, but... A brain. I don't know if you know this, but in the years zero to, I don't know, 1,438 when the texture sensor and calculator was born, they had to use an abacus because calculators were not invented. So this is along those lines. So before I think before watches, before digital clocks, before clocks in general.

So but in between sundials, is it before sundials? It's probably the same time or maybe a little after. So one guy was like, I got this thing, it's called the sundial, it tells me exactly where the sun is in the sky. And I was like, I got one that's way more fucking complicated. Well, I'll tell you something, it definitely has the most moving parts. And it even has a measurement of time in the title.

Is it a time X watch? I know, Adam. Time to shave. I'm gonna kill both of you. It's not me. I'm just being quiet and dumb. Is it a person holding their hands up like a clock? That's our new teacher.

Moving them, moving them like, you know. Yeah, GPC thing, that thing. That's a windmill. It's a cartoon cat moving its hands. It's Felix the cat. I don't think I'll tell time. Is it a time bomb? So you think in between sundials and watches

is a time machine? Yeah, I mean, if, whenever the time machine goes back, that's what it is at time. So, HD Wells is what I meant. I'll fuck it up worse and well. Or is it Wells? That's funny.

A task of the time machines. Boy, I don't wanna give it to you because you're so close, but I feel like we're here. It has the word time in it. It has a measurement of time in it. So think about the different measurements of time. No, minute, no. Hourglass.

Hourglass. This is the moon. This is the moon, parts in the hourglass. With thousands of grains of sand, the hourglass has the most moving parts of any time piece. Like sand, two hourglass, these are the times, the hourglass. Claudia Tiedelman.

We're going to be like a bad hourglass and take a break. Or bad anything, really. Yeah, that's fair. Well, good employees, every four hours. Leave it hours, right? Leave me have to take a 15 minute break? I think if they have a union, maybe you should take a break

and stop looking at your screen for 10 minutes of every hour. Shouldn't just stare directly at your screen all day. I never take a break, because a freaking love capitalism. Well, with that, we'll take a quick break. Hey, GPC. Uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a website to bring him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform

for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience and so anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products?

Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics.

Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website. The Prank's at 2.0. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC.

What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeland JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods? No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help?

Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life, we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry. That also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. And better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the

concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two Ds.

And the lighter is the two Ds. Help me get home. Bye, baby. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen,

I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so

much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean. Sorry. I also want to give it a toast. Rocket money, well, quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clean, clean, clean.

It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. I'm clinking. You didn't click it. Over 3 million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over 3 million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rocket money. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop, no, Clint, click, click, stop.

Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money.

Plank, plank, plank. And we are back in time. Everybody ready to do some main? Oh, Aaron? Yes. I'm ready, but I have a question for my two sweet boys, Adel and JPC. Camden, Braden, Yes, mommy.

Did I not tell you I do sweet boys, sweet sons? I'm having a, there's a huge debate happening on my family group chat. It's not just a media family, there's some extended family involved. My brother-in-law, Mitch, is having a debate with my sister about what his wife, about what Daniel Day Lewis movie is the most iconic. Okay.

And it's blowing up. Every five seconds in the corner of my screen, I'm just seeing a thing in all caps with exclamation points. Okay. Okay. There's a thing in all caps with exclamation points. Okay, okay. There's a definite right answer to this. And I know. And I want you two and then our listeners

to settle the debate for us. As a mass of Daniela's fan, having seen every one of his movies, except for, I've never seen Gandhi, and I believe he makes a small appearance in that, and I've never seen my beautiful lingerie. Lundred? I've seen that, I think it's his first movie.

Got him like three and a half hours long too, right? Ganni's very long. In the name of the father and the boxer and last and most he can's are probably my three favorite of his movies, but his most iconic role, is it his most iconic role or most iconic movie? Both. Like not, I'd say movie.

Okay, I have to say 100% it's there will be blood. Okay, JPC. Um, I don't know. You're gonna say nine. Part of the, I think I'm throwing. Uh, part of this I feel like maybe it's gonna be age dependent. Like however old you are, like when you, when you cut your teeth,

maybe on Daniel, Lewis, I was going to say, my gut was going to say gangs of New York. He's just covered in bite marks. You cut your teeth? Well, no, it's going off my teeth, which is, I don't understand. I would say gangs of New York, I mean, maybe there would be blood is, is, is the more iconic one, but I don't know, to me, I,, maybe there would be blood is the more iconic one, but I don't know, to me, I see Daniel DeLuis has built a butcher. That's how I see it.

The best line in that whole movie is when he throws the ax and goes, oops, he's lazy, which is just fantastic. Wait, what was your, what did you say your favorite to our adult? In the name of the father, is absolutely incredible. The boxer, and last of the Mohicans, which last of the Moh is absolutely incredible. The boxer and last of the Mohicans. Which last of the Mohicans isn't, it isn't like an incredible movie, but the soundtrack and it was also

the very first day of the list movie I saw because my mom was a sass with it. That's the one that Mitch says is the most iconic, but when I think he really just loves that movie. It's not the most iconic, that is wrong. It definitely is definitely the most iconic. It's maybe the best film score. I remember having that score on CD

because I love it so much, but I love, I'll never not watch that, but I feel like there will be blood is absolutely, and that's the one he won the Oscar for. And that's the one, like I was just saying to Mitch, like I haven't heard anyone reference the last of the Mohicans in maybe a decade. Like I was in love with the sister in that.

So there's Madeline Stowe who plays the lead sister and then she has a younger sister. I was absolutely in love with that woman, but I don't know the actress's name. But I have heard people mention there will be blood about 40 times in the last year. And we talk about it on this podcast all the time. I drink your milk tank. Here's my thing with there will be blood. There was way more blood in gangs of New York. Gangs of New York being called,

there will be blood. There will be blood in New York. There will be blood in New York, colon gang fight. Nine, nine, nine, nine. This one's about gang. Comment the movie. Now I wanna watch there will be blood, great movie. Let's do some long forum, Riddies and Puzzies.

Here we go. Alexandra Spence. The Shilah Bluff. Shilah Bluffs. What are you talking about? I was just going to skip by, I know it would be like, the last minute. It was great of that.

He was the hide in a waterfall behind a shy of bluffs. Alexandra spends her day making people wince, sometimes scream in pain. But people seek her out and pay her money to do this work. Sometimes her client may even bleed a little, but they almost always come back for more. Dentist. Dog assassin. Oh God. It is a dog Assassin, which is Aaron,

who you ran into. You ran into the John Wick of Dog Assassin's. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I keep looking at Lou being like, someone wanted you dead. People think that John Wick is such an amazing movie, but the fucking monetary system in John Wick makes no fucking system.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Have we talked about this? One coin for fucking everything? It's like, you're just a coin for a tip. One coin for a week in a hotel. One coin buys him in common a cocktail, like a Sazrack, and then another coin buys him a car. And it's like, what are we doing?

No, dude, I wish that was the way money would work. It's bullshit, it's absolute bullshit. The first time I saw John Wick one, I was like, I was like, I love this movie that there's it's deeply flawed I want to see a sidewick is also the opposite of a dog assassin because he Thanks, I want to see a scene Aaron you are Aaron The police have caught the your dog assassin who is in that park and you are in a prison sale Prison sale which is like a yard sale you're in a prison sale, prison sale, which is like a yard sale.

You're in a prison sale. A JPC is the dog assassin. He's handcuffed to a table and you are kind of interrogating or trying to get some closure or some answers. Yeah, this is what they let civilians do. Aaron, only if you're comfortable doing this. No, that's great. Okay.

First things first, I'm not sure why I'm in the prison sale, but if you could go grab that you you can leave anytime you want sorry It's actually it's a lot can you lock it me? No, no, no, no here we go. Sorry. I'll open it. Oh, you can leave. I have to stay. Yeah, I'll open it Kermit yeah unlock the door and then I need a moment alone. Oh, yeah, okay. Here you go, here's the keys. Thank you. So, you caught me. I guess my old, dastardly plan is laid bare before me. Well, what do you want to know? I'm an open book, you see. Who hired me?

Is that your first question? This isn't my first rodeo, and I've been in this position many times before. I was hired by Sean. I'm sorry I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone again. Me too. I'm on the phone too. Very good. Very good. So we said Dentist and Dogassass and you're both wrong. Already one of them. It's not a dentist? Very good. So we said dentist and dog assassin, you're both wrong. Already one more time. It's not a dentist. No doctor. Alexander Spencer, day making people win,

sometimes scream and pain. Tattoo. But people seek her out and pay her money to do this work. Sometimes their clients may even bleed a little, but they almost always come back for more. Tattoo artists. That's a, that's even better answer than what the real answer is.

What is it? That's not the real answer. No, but it's the best answer. But it's very, very, very hot. I would like to see it see. Tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat like sweeten the deal, like you're trying to make them feel better about it and being positive. Okay, okay, I'm gonna let you up off the table now and then I got the two mirrors here, so you let me know how you think. Okay, so in one of these mirrors, I look super short and in the other one, I look super distorted. Yes, so here at Carnival Touch you, we'll do it your way, but then if you don't want the Carnival Meers, we can just move over to the other side of the room and we can just use the regular Meers.

Okay, yeah, let's use the better one. Great, and I trust since we're on this cruise that there is no sort of bumpy or anything during the whole day. It's all on the cruise, it's very choppy, but here in this room The room was built. There's no tilt. Okay, great. Okay. Let me oh Boy, this uh, this is yeah, it does not look great. I okay. I asked for a Picture of a bottle and it says mom mom. I love you and this looks like this looks like a otter eating out a unicorn Okay, so when you said Picture a bottle. I thought that was a starting place for what I was to picture mentally Okay, before I went to your tattoo and I pictured a bottle of Jack day wait wait wait wait

Why don't you try and walk out of the door? I would be I would rather not have the door oh no, this is not my supplies closet, nevermind. Okay, I didn't even want to go in here. So I pictured about a little whiskey, drank it, drank a real bottle of whiskey. Okay. And then started to give you the tattoo. Uh huh.

But what I had just watched was Paw Patrol. Okay. On the unicorn's tummy it says, I'm French. Great, so are you familiar with the concept of French dressing? It's French dressing and French dressing and one dressing. And you can make it by just dumping the bottles and then mixing it. So why does the unicorn think it's French?

Great, because. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not going anywhere. I was thinking I might need to get my supplies. I don't want to cause it. This is the exit. I don't even want to go here. I'm totally committed to talking to you. So the unicorn was French because that type of dressing

is so hard to find. What else is hard to find? Unicorn. It's one of the most rare animals in the world. OK, and the unicorn's horn is a pointy headed French steward. So OK. Yes. Horn is a pointy-headed French steward. So, okay, yes. So, third rock from the side, hugely influential TV should it be John Lithgow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, God. Okay, I'm not crazy. So anyway, Lithgow loved him in Dexter.

That was the last great season of Dexter, right? Who do I blame for that? What's that? We all agree that. Jimmy Smith was all done, huh? Yeah, I think Jimmy Smith was that the season after or the season before? I can't remember.

Continue? I think it was the season before. So, did you even watch Dexter? I lied. I can't have a conversation with someone who has a watch Dexter. Why don't you take some time to think about it? This is my fault, this is my fault.

Watch Dexter. It's fucked up because the woman who he, in real life, marries, it places sister on the show who he's also attracted to, one of the last season they're already divorced. Are you telling me? I'm not. The young cartoon scientist,

date sister, what did I do? Do they fucking that laboratory they must see Your watch sector's laboratory that is my favorite hair what I'll see in a ball time. I'm not even getting Very close to a tattoo artist. I think you guys can get it. I'll give you like 15 seconds Very close to a tattoo artist. I think you guys can get it. I'll give you like 15 seconds. Very much. I'm still freaking out about that.

Ooh, I can't even hear any. Did you not say, let's go? I'm not crazy. Is it a piercing artist? Like a Claire's? It is, it's basically a tattoo artist, basically. But there's no, but you're not walking away with any ink.

Oh, is it one of those clowns that does the face paint on you at a festival? Oh boy, I think you were I think someone tried to kill you. Hanna. Is it Hanna? Close It is a Acque puncturace But I like tattooist tattoo. I think it's better. I Want to see a scene. I am a preteen, and I'm about to get my ears pierced at Claire's.

And JPC, you're about to pierce my ears, and your bedside manner is probably not the best. Okay, you can still get pregnant from preteen. Thank you. Thank you. I don't thank you. Okay, my name is Adam. I'm going to be your piercing specialist today. Okay. Oh. What's wrong? I- I- I just don't like needles very much and I just- I want to get this over with. Okay. Well, um, if you're gonna be like a little fucking baby, we don't have to do it. No, no, I'm not a baby.

I can give you your $8 back. No, no, no. You can have the $8. I'm not a baby. I'm in this. It's great. I'm a big kid Okay, I See that your dad's here with you. Yeah, he's not gonna fucking do anything. Are you? No, no, sir. I'm sorry. Did you a baby, too? Yes, sir. I'm sorry Could you a baby if you're such a baby, why aren't you eating this can't a baby food?

Dad just do it. Okay, he said ah Metal ah metal ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, little diamond studs. Okay, well these will fall right through a fucking 11 gauge. That's gonna go right the diamonds that it's a duck in the back. Sorry, sorry I was walking through. Did somebody call for me?

Did someone say Nicholas Cage? I don't want him piercing my ears either. Here give me the needle. I'm a huge fan. Here's the needle. Put the bunny down. Kidding. Here we go.

Where are we going with this? Wait are you John Travolta or Nick Cage? Sandy Face up. Huh? What? What? Cage oh you did it. I didn't even feel it. Thank you Nicholas Cage. You're welcome. That's an American hero. See. I wish Nicholas Cage worked at Clair's. What if you went to the mall and you just looked over and Nicholas Cage is working at Clair's?

I mean, a weird undercover boss thing where like, I give it 10 months. What's he up to? Nothing. I'll give it 10 months and I will see Nicholas Kay to work in it, Claire. He had like 11 houses and he lost a bunch of money. Oh yeah. Investments and so on. He bought a dinosaur skull.

He bought a T-Rex skull for like a million and a half dollars. He bought the Llori House, which is like the most haunted house in America. That American horse guru was based off of, yeah, and he lost it all. There was, here's what I remember, there was a movie that he was attached to that was coming out, but I can't remember the, uh, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da. A lion with a library book, da da da da da da da.

A lemur with an overdue book. Da da da da da da da da da. And a guana who loves smash mouth, da da da da da da da. Azibra with a comb over. Da da da da da da da da. A goldfish wearing a basketball on his head. Da da da da da. A shark who doesn't swim so well. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Roberts who said we can use his full name. They're full name. Can we just anonymize it a little bit

and just call them Rob Richards? Yes, this is from Rob Richards. Thank you, Rob. Says my dog once ate what I estimate to be around three pounds of wood chip mulch and we burned our vacation money for that year getting her stomach pumped. Also, here's an article on sheep.

Oh my God, that's crazy. What a weird cold open to an email. I love this. But weirdly, on topic for today's show. Yeah. You could have known. If you ever have an article for us to read for an animal-pred segment, please send that to hrrpodcastatema.com.

And don't forget to include your depressing dog fat. And put in the subject line animal parade. So here is an article about animals. This is from BBC.com heard of it. And speaking of her, the title of this article is sheep or not stupid and they're not helpless either. This is clearly, She brought this. Yeah, I was gonna say this is clearly written by a sheep.

Sheep are not stupid and they're not helpless either. Sheep are one of the most unfairly stereotyped animals on the planet. What? She brought this a British sheep sat in a typewriter and sent this in. I'll see you soon. Adel, you are giving a press conference about just some local happenings.

There's gonna be several journalists in the crowd asking questions. Aaron, you're gonna be one of those journalists. You are obviously a sheep in disguise as a person. So if anyone doesn't know, here in Talisha, we've had some break-ins. There's been some raccoons who have been able to undo latches in the back porch. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, Mary's lamb from the Baba times. Oh, I'm unfamiliar.

I just ate my notebook, but I would like to say, Well, it just seemed very unfair how we're treating sheep in this town. Steadie? Steadie? I'm definitely not standing on top of a sheep under me, so I'm the size of a man. Okay. Um... Richard Masters, BBC One, are there any culprits? Have you ever put it in any culprits?

Oh, I have to say, I love I am legend. What was your question? Have you ever hinted Inecolprits? Oh, I have to say I love I am legend. What was your question? Have you ever ended in ecolprits? We have yet to apprehend an ecolprits, but we do Know that raccoons of trash, so we've put out some trash cans over on Elman second street And we're waiting to see if we can catch someone who matches the pop prince Here it's marriage from Baba times again. I'm sorry. Why are we talking about raccoons? They are small and I see you I'm looking around and everyone here is wearing a wool coat and I'm not saying

That you should say thank you to the sheep But I'm just saying yes, I'm just talking about the sheer facts here. These are the sheer facts and I'm and I'm speaking to them what? Wow If a sheep was here Thank God there's no sheep here. Oh, okay. Um are there any other questions about the Richard Richard masters at BBC one I do have a question. Um is she a sheep Bears to be a sheep no, I'm a human woman in a long coat with little sheep feet at the bottom and I'm not standing on top of my brother Croshing him to death You keep moving forward three feet and then backwards three feet and you're you're bending it your back and stomach at a 45 degree angle

You also said your last name was sheep and you said you were from the Bob-Bob Hives I have a very sheep from the Bob-O-Times. Don't a quick Google. Bob-O-Times appears to be a real paper. It is a sheep paper for sheep. They don't hire just sheep at the Bob-O-Times. I'm a human woman. Here, to say why aren't we talking about the sheep?

In other news, local news, the who have decided to rename Bob-O-Rilly to Teenage Wasteland to make a less confusing. She is a shee. Sheep are one of the most unfairly stereotyped animals on the planet. Almost everything we believe about them is wrong. This is by Harriet Constable, fake name. And it's not even an article, it's just a list here.

It says reputation. Sheep are stupid, defenseless, and harmless creatures that moep about on hillsides doing not very much. I moep about. I'm a sheep, I moep about. They are good for two things, being eaten and producing wool. And then the next part says reality. Sheeper actually, surprisingly intelligent,

with impressive memory and recognition skills. They build friendships, stick up for one another in fights, and feel sad when their friends are sent to slaughter. What the fuck? They are also what this is a weird turn. They are also one of the most destructive creatures on the planet. And then it totally drops that. And then it moves on.

Intelligent, complex, soci sociable all words we would quickly assigned to humans but would not dream of extending to sheep those fluffy white creatures you see milling about in fields or served up with mint sauce on your dinner plate I can't continue reading this because it gets crazier from here I I thought the BBC was like the world's most trusted source for news. I mean this is like a BBC opinion type of thing. Like it doesn't sound like. This is fucking wild.

Are you telling me there are sheep out there moping about because they know their friend just got murdered in eaten? Why do we keep doing research on animals that we are eating? It's like we just got back some preliminary data. It looks like pigs can have families and they do feel sad when their families are taken from them i do why why do we know this leave me a sense i do want to say here's just a sentence that uh... further down the article here's just one sentence sheep have erotic preferences eight percent or homosexual

eight percent well i. Eight percent? Wow. I just love erotic preferences. Oh my God. What are some of these erotic preferences? Is, does she have like a Kinsey scale where it's like, they're like, uh, she would you identify yourself as gay, but like, uh, gay, like, am I know like, do I, do I, do I feel, when I see Tom Hardy in a movie, do I get an erection?

Yeah. Am I gay? I don't think so, I don't wouldn't qualify that. You think that they're gay for humans? I'm sorry, she party. Tom's cheapy. Sheep, sheep despair, a sheep's despair is triggered by situations which are evaluated as sudden, unfamiliar, unpredictable, and uncontrollable.

They were domesticated between 1,100 and 9,000 BC for use of their wool and fleece, and uncontrollable. They were domesticated between 1100 and 9000 BC for use of their wool and fleece, meat and milk. They can deliver a painful kick to anyone who gets too close. I'm just imagining the Wallace and Gromit sheep. This is written like someone who like woke up at 6 a.m. to write a paper that was due at 8 a.m. And they're just like, what can we find out about sheep? We'll start off with a.m. to write a paper that was due at 8 a.m. and they're just like, what can we find out about sheep's? Start off with a strong opinion, sheep are under-appreciated and then just list some facts.

I want to see a scene. So this scene is going to be all three of us. We are 10,000 years in the future. The human race has been completely overtaken by a race of intelligent aliens. That is what we are. We use obviously the human race as we use cattle, just for food and for cloth and stuff like that. But we are three eighth graders in the alien race who is doing a report on humans because we've actually learned a lot of other stuff about humans in the way that they actually behave that not many people know. You may think that humans are just for eating. You may think that humans are fun and funny to look at and to pet and to yell at. And you also might think human stink, they roll around in their shit,

and they tell like banal jokes. Well, but humans are so much more. They don't , they don't, they don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't of a human joke. How bad was that? Pretty bad. Pretty bad. According to our research, one time when a human named Aaron was in the sixth grade, she tried to put a boy's backpack away for him because it was out in the hallway and he kept getting in trouble for his backpack being out of his locker. So she put it back in for him because it was out in the hallway and he kept getting in trouble for his backpack being out of his locker. So she put it back in for him. He saw this when he was coming back from the bathroom and ran into the classroom saying

that Aaron was crazy and was stealing stuff when her locker when really she was tired of watching the boy get yelled at. She got in so much trouble in the school called her home. Can you believe that that kid named John did that? And did you? Humans are terrible. And did you know that a 14 year old human named Adal once grew super long sideburns and had a goatee and thought it looked good?

The school called him to go home. Did you know that some humans have even been able to produce rudimentary culture? One of those things that they enjoy is music and yet there was a 13 year old human named JPC who memorized every lyric to Kid Rock's bar with the bar. That's what he did with that gift. Which we will now recite. that gift which we will now recites final riddle that's based around animals. Here we go. That we're going to do this very quickly, but this is the clothes of our animal parade segment.

A large creature lives in Brazil. It has no claws, fangs, or venom, but it is the most dangerous creature in the world. Other animals flee at its approach and where it goes, death and destruction sometimes follow. Human. Humans. Bingo, bingo, ha-ta-ta. Ha-ta-ta-ta. The creature is a human being, it is dangerous because it is sometimes does not use its intelligence well.

What a nice little full circle moment for this segment. Wow. It's dangerous because it sometimes does not use its intelligence well. Wow. What a way to say that. A good example of that is a... A riddle riddle in general we're not using our intelligence at all and speaking of not using our intelligence at all uh... gpc do you have anything to plug sure you follow me over at twitch twitch dot tv slash shark bark man uh...

listen to the bill buts podcast you can find that podcast uh... anywhere podcasts are found uh... by searching bill but one one word B-I-L-L-B-U-D-S. Aaron anything to plug? Follow me Aaron keep 10 on Instagram Aaron keep 2 on Twitter I've been really enjoying how many of you decided to watch Frontier House and I'm getting a lot of messages about it that are making me laugh out loud so thank you so much for. If you have any message you want to send me, please message me on Instagram. Addle. Yes. You can follow me on Twitter or Instagram at AddleRefi. And besides that, maybe just send me some good vibes and fingers crossed for this house. I know I can't wait to hear. I'm sending you

nothing but good energy. I'm singing you fingering crosses for your house and I know, I can't wait to hear. I'm sending you nothing but good energy. I'm singing you, fingering crosses for your house. And you feel free to decorate with those however you want. Oh! They are human fingers. Don't send them in the mail again, JPC, because it's a huge mess. I've heard that obviously crystals and there's good luck charms all send very good positive energy for a potential homeowner, but they say in all of the universe

There's one entity that said in the best luck for someone to close on a home Do you want to say that? Aaron Keith Bye forever. Jupiter. Bye. No, too late. It's too late Hello! Before hate, break the break, no more. Hello, if you enjoyed that episode or if you enjoyed our riddle city episodes, we think you might enjoy our episode that comes out this Friday on our Patreon. It is a new story arc. It's three episodes long and it takes place in the 1980s at a high school. It's a mystery, it's so fun. Arnie Parrott wrote a new theme, Casey is absolutely killing it on the editing. I'm really, really

proud of it. So if you want to listen to that, you can join our Clue Crew, which is $5 a month, you get four episodes of that, or you can join our Review Crew, which is $8 a month and you'll get two extra bonus hours of content which is a review crew episode and a video live stream. If you are interested in that go to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle that's patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. I am so excited for this 1980s arc and we would love if you joined us. Have a great week! That was a Hate Gum podcast. That was a Hate Gum podcast.