Hey Riddle Riddle - #110: Don't Matter to Me, Broccolis

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

On today's show, we are talking swim up basements, pop music, and personal interactions. All that and a boy learning about his past and what might be his future, an iconic pitch session for one of our favorite products, young love blossoming in a cold, cold place, two fruits from different paths, 10 screwballs who can't catch a break, the drama of a midnight sky, waxing poetic with one of history's greatest minds and creatures of the night getting into trouble. Oh, and there may or may not be a visit from one of our most beloved recurring characters. Send us your #batband suggestions! oh, and before you DM Erin about being too feminist: don't! Happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Okay, I'm ready whenever she is on airplane mode. Getting a good mood. Is that on your to-do list? Cupcakes. Dun-chan, lolly pops in, the rainbows, everything else. Awesome, fun, fun, fun. What are the rainbows? The Nutella rainbows are running out What are the rainbows?

Natellar rainbows dummy. Oh fuck me You're never gonna like it. Never wanna be like it. You're never gonna be like it. Never wanna be like it. Never wanna be like it. Never wanna be like it. You're a brick, a brick, a brick, a brick. You're a brick, a brick, a brick, a brick. You're a brick, a brick, a brick, a brick. Keith Cohen in my office now.

Okay. Where's my badge? What is this? Oh, I thought. This is a now. Okay. Where's my badge? Yeah. What is this? Oh, I thought- This is a podcast. Oh. What is this?

I have a badge in a gun. No, here, JPC catch it. What does it say? What does it say? Ow, you hit me in the face with a badge. Oh, sorry. You can't just yell catch it as you're throwing something. Shit, let me pick it up here.

Let me pick it up here. What does this say? Queen of cookies. Yes, that's? Queen of cookies. Yes, that's my Queen of cookies badge. Please give it back. I want that fair and square. Oh, sorry, our badge has got switched. That's his badge.

That's my Queen of cookies badge. I, it deposed the old Queen of cookies fair and square. Okay. Her title and her reign and her lands. I also got her lands. The chocolate chip forest, the Mars Capone. Bell is what? Sir, are we getting fired?

Three more. Hold on, three more. Oh, okay. The way for waterfalls, way for waterfalls, a peanut butter plateau, and the ice cream. I'm such a force.

Ice cream, ith miss. Are we being fired or what? No, you're being promoted. Ugh. Two co-hosts. What were we before? Permanent guests.

Whoa, this is good for me. If I had known I was a guest, I wouldn't have taken off my shoes. Well, Aaron kept put one on, leave one off, and ta-ta-ta, you're part of the club. Does this mean I can update my Twitter? No. Dammit.

No, this is internal only. Okay. So there's no like monetary value to it and we're not even allowed to tell our loved ones we got promoted? Nope, you have to keep it to yourself. But I will give you a $1 raise if you can do a proper intro. I'm Adore Fie.

I'm Jeff Nixie. You're what? Jeff Nixie's train. Sorry, I got nervous Karen leave Okay, I don't deserve it. I don't think the buddy. I'm here with permanent guest Japanese train and Karen leaf and I guess we're doing riddles To work as if this your first time. I'm so sorry. We're a podcast where we try and solve riddles lateral thinking problems puzzles

And along the way we call for improvised scenes and do some bits. So that's all true and it's a train Fuck a lot of fuck oh heads Week week is good. How's your week? Pretty good. I just listened to JPC's new podcast today, so JPC you and I have been hanging out for a while. I did subscribe, so I'm excited to listen tonight. And I gave it five stars before I even listened to it. So did I.

Oh, well, I'll leave it now. I don't give you a turn now. I will say that when I put it up everywhere, you put it on to iTunes, you have to log in and put it up on iTunes. I'm like, well, I should just go and also review it as soon as it's up on iTunes. Did you write a review as well?

I should have, I really wanted to, I really wanted to read a review and be like, hey, it's me, this is my podcast. You just wanted to say five stars, very good. And we should say the name of this podcast is Bill Buds. Yes, Bill Buds, which is a play on, do you guys know what it's a play on? Bill Board.

Bill Board. Yeah, Bill Board. I had so many people It was one of those things where you know like with Hey, where the riddle where you think oh this is a great idea for a podcast Hey riddle riddle people will instantly get hey fiddle fiddle feel like they'll get that connection where it's like bill buds billboard Like billboard and people were like I had no idea In fairness some countries don't have like billboard. They don't call it that they call it the charts and stuff like that top of the pops yeah pop that's what i call my dad's to pay

that's to pay top of the pop actually a lot of people he doesn't wear hat a lot of people did not get that the the hey diddle little thing yeah that's what saying yeah there's people who sent pictures and are like i found this like old nursery rhyme book and they say hey diddle diddle and i was pretty universally well known like old nursery rhyme book and they say, hey, Dittle Dittle. And it's like, I thought that was pretty universally well known. Like, yeah. We had a little lamb well known.

It's just a really great reminder that the things that you know and are important to you are not things that other people know and are important to them, which is the, no matter how old I get, that's a lesson I refuse to learn. My experience is the old experience that it informs the world.

Very true. It's very true. But yeah, it was a fun reminder that, and I learned that other people don't have the Billboard charts. Anyway, thanks for listening to the podcast. It's very good. Great theme song name, vibe, energy.

I think a lot of people are gonna love it very much. I mean, I'm not a 10 from me. Well, we can say it because Arnie Parrott is the only theme song creator in town. And if you get anyone else to create your theme song, you're doing your podcast to do to service. But I thought he absolutely killed it with this with our new theme song.

It's phenomenal. Excited to listen. And excited to guest whenever you'll ask me. Yeah, no, absolutely. So I will, I'll say this. Nice, Adel. Adel and Aaron I will I'll say this at all. I add on there and have already been pre invited. But they we you can still be pregnant from

being in the nation is true. They just have to pick the album that we want to talk about. I've been thinking about it. I'll let you know. Yeah, the first episode was 1989. So as far as you know, that's the only one that is off the table. You can actually it would be fun if I like second episode was just having someone else come on to talk about it. I did it.

It's just doing it. Can I come on and talk about Garth Brooks? Absolutely. Or do you want to talk about? He's Pumphrey. What's his alter ego? Oh, Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines.

Who's more pop? Garth or Chris? I think, okay, so Garth is like country pop. Some people may argue with me on that. And then Chris Gaines I think was supposed to be like, emo pop or like, got it. Or I'm sorry, emo country. Yeah.

E-muntry. I love you, do you have an alter ego? The only thing new in my neck of the woods is I've been getting a lot of online hate, I'm saying in quote marks, about being too much of a feminist and ruining the show by Saying feminist things

Lots of messages from women on Instagram. I think I sent you guys one of them. Yeah, I don't think people realize how Much of a compliment it is To me like they're saying it with the cadence of an insult like you're ruining the show by saying these things the cadence of an insult, like you're ruining the show by saying these things. There's something to say when someone calls you too much of a feminist and then you look at their like profile and it's a white dude with three followers and it's like thank god you can fuck off. Like I would I would take I would grab your phone and delete the podcast. Oh, I know so embarrassed that these people found our show and I like enjoying it. I'm like, oh, what are we doing wrong that you like this?

Aaron, here's what I would say. Without you in this podcast, it would be unlistenable. That's very funny. To be fair to Adel, he is saying that because Aaron has all the cords. So, oh yeah. I'm the one who plugs the microphone. Can we buy some of them

That is so funny air city one of those like old-timey telephone switchboards And she's just connecting our scenes together. She's doing it like Louis Tomlin It's just also so funny to me that I like people are like Calling me out for being like annoying and progressive and preachy and I like, you've heard JPC say eat the rich since 2018, haven't you? You've been screaming about eating the rich. Aaron, you can still get pregnant from preachy. We should, who's our old man, Puppels? Wait, Adel, you didn't tell us about your week.

I said my week is good. I don't know what I've been up to. Hey, Adel, I keep telling you, that was a concern and a problem. I'm so sorry. I do. I have three quick things that are exciting me because it's fun to have. It's fun to be excited and it's fun to share fun things versus being like, it's fine because good news is good. One I had a we had a meeting with one of my all-time favorite actors of all-time from film. Oh. And I was losing in my mind, it was so cool. It was maybe the coolest experience I've had.

And he was cool as hell and very nice and very kind. And two, things were moving. Wait, hold on, hold on. Aaron, do you think we should try to at least guess? This is, Adolf said actor, but I think he said he, right? Unfortunately, Adolf and I are friends. and so I do know what he's talking about but I will I will guess man I okay then I'll just say William hurt yeah it's actually the courts of Jimmy Stewart so so so close a puka a puka

or a puka and and then number two is things seem to be going well with us in the house with Gemini getting the house. Hopefully that works out. And the exciting thing that I wanted to mention last week was that in the basement, there's a full wet bar. So I'm either gonna turn it into a teaky bar, which is my main dream, or maybe a Vermilion Minotaur, like a magic tevern. Oh, no, maybe a little.

And then we can have like little underground secret society parties. I'm gonna press out. I'm gonna do a wet suit. At the wet bar? It's a swim up, right? It's a swim in a basement. Oh, I should have said the basement is sletted. Oh, just a shitty plumbing.

It's not even like... That's just right. When I say there's a wet bar in the basement, I mean it's a kitty pool. Yeah. Yeah, top of the suede. I know. I know. And then the third exciting thing from this week, which is maybe the most exciting, is that

I asked my groom party, my wedding party, to be in the party. And who's in that list? A bunch of people. Okay. But anyone's specific. Didn't get a call so. Okay. Well, you and the conversation when you talked about what bunch of people. But anyone's specific. Didn't get a call, so. Oh, okay. Well, you and the conversation

were you talking about, what? You and JPC. Yeah. I freaked out. Adel also said that he is having the wedding, no matter what, he said, no, no, no, no, he didn't. The wedding goes on.

And if you don't come, even if there is a pandemic, if you don't come, we are friends. That's what he said. No, Adal said probably every point four seconds. And obviously, this is dependent on if the world, we just don't want to get anyone hurt. We're just really are so we're going to keep everyone safe. Actually, I'm freaking out.

It's my first time. I'm Benna Grumesman and you know, it's famously, I think I've mentioned this in the show before, one of my lifelong dreams. You're mean when you come through. And I told Aaron she could either wear a dress or she can wear a pantsuit or she can get a Victor Victoria kind of thing, like whatever, whatever you wanna do.

Immediately hung up the phone with you, sent you another text and then Googled lady suits. And Jim, Aaron, I just know one guy in West Virginia with three followers is screaming right I'm so excited. Are there any other women? I didn't even ask no No, I just I feel like weddings are a man thing You know, I'm saying it's gonna be my man cave. I should have said my what bar is gonna be a man cave

I suck and... Ha ha ha ha ha. And JPC, when you said that I told you, if you don't come, we're not friends. That's actually what you told me, the first time you gave me a hand job. So, that's... That's true.

That's the record straight. And I set a little egg tiver for one minute. You guys, I got really tired of them giving each other hand jobs back. Although I will say, doing improv with men often feels like watching two men give each other hand jobs. Yeah, and by the way, bad. Nobody wants that.

Speaking of two men giving each other hand jobs, we have some listeners, this is a bad segue. Well, it's a segue that I have to use. We have some listeners submitted riddles. These go back to you guessed it 2018. This, the title of this email, I will read because I absolutely love it. And it just says, when you search riddles for teens

and hit page 10, dot, dot, dot, you get some weird stuff. Well, this person is really, we get that. I get that. They get them. All right, so Holly says, and Holly, I believe, is one of our discord moderators now. So way back in 2018. Holy crap, Holly.

We all grows up, but Holly says, hi, Kevin and Susie, here's my first contribution to the madness. So here we go. It falls standing, but runs on its belly. What is it? It falls standing, but runs on its belly. It falls standing? It falls standing for runs on its belly. It falls standing.

A kid in Jim class who can't catch a break. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. It's not spaghetti. 2018, did I have spaghetti August 2018? Yes, right? This is like for dinner. I think so.

I think like maybe, or did I get spaghetti in October? It falls where it stands and it runs on its belly. It falls, I'm sorry, it falls standing, but runs on its belly. What is it? Well, okay, let's dissect this. It runs on its belly. Famously America runs on Duncan.

So could it be a donut? And donuts are great in the fall, pumpkin spice. Okay, I have a new theory. Oh, it's not by saying, oh, go ahead there. And this is a good example. I think Adda listens to one word from every riddle. And sometimes it works out. And sometimes he answers doughnut.

Aaron, I heard you say it works out. And I have been. I've been lifting some weights and doing some push-ups. Oh, I absolutely knew it. Aaron, I will answer that by saying, I want to see a scene, something that you said earlier just absolutely struck me. So we're going to see a scene where you are going to be a gym teacher. Adel, you are going to be an accident prone child in a gym class.

You are going to be injuring yourself all the time in illogical ways. Okay, Toby, we're going to play badminton today, but just randomly, I picked you to be the kid who wears the helmet while we play badminton today, but just randomly, I picked you to be the kid who wears the helmet while we play badminton. Oh, Miss Kruthan some mum. Did you just get a paper cut while you were talking to me, right, just now? Yeah, I was looking stamps and it was stuck to my tongue and then it cut the roof of my mouth and I'm bleeding.

I need to go to the ER. Oh boy. I think, just like, here's a tissue, just press it to the roof of your mouth and then oh It's in my eyes. Oh my god, how and I blinked and now it's in the back of my eyes. It's in my brain Okay, okay, we're actually into my brain. Where is it? A big deep breath. Oh, no Oh my tongue fell out. Oh Here to me I've good news for you. We're not even running the mile today I can't stress to you enough. Badminton is low impact, not too hard. Even if you get hit by the birdie, it's not going to hurt too much, okay?

Okay, okay, let me get up. I'm going to pass you the racket. Okay, my arms just broke. Oh my god. Okay, I'm here, I'm just going to like a really soft serve at you. Ready? It's going to be really easy. I can't have ice cream. I can't have ice cream. Of course you can't. No soft serve at you. Ready? It's gonna be really easy. I can't have ice cream. I can't have ice cream. Of course you can't. No soft serve.

We cut to Toby's parents at home. They're breaking some bad news to Toby. Toby, you're old enough now to understand, but you are not our natural born child. What? Your mother and I, well we adopted you, Toby. Your real parents are a Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head doll. Uh, they just weren't in a place where they wanted to have kids.

Financially? Yeah, financially, emotionally. It had nothing to do with you. Toy story hadn't come out yet. I wish I could sit down, but I can't. But let me at least take off my green hat. Yeah. Oh, nice.

That's very nice. Let me uncross my eyes. I I can't I can't believe you didn't see this coming Before you're clearly a potato with things stuck in it That's a t-shirt Standing and it runs on its belly. It's not a leaf and it's not a tree runs on its belly And it runs on its belly. It's not a leaf and it's not a tray runs on its belly And there runs on belly a car. I mean there's lizards who kind of like skim the sand with their belly when they run Oh, snake is a fly sword. It is not a snake It's it falls. It's an animal. No, it's not an animal Aaron. That's really that's really a good guess Is it vegetable? Is it mineral? Is it Mr. Bean?

Oh, that's Yoda. Or Miss Pinkie. That's his prank off. Oh, don't do that. There's no beaners. I would love to see a shop for Sharpie Bick of Star Wars with Mr. Bean of Sioda. No, I want to see him as what's that guy with the bad cough?

Oh, General Grievous. Yeah, I want to see Mr. Bean of General Grievous? Oh, uh, do you know, I don't agree with this. Yeah, I want to see Mr. Meena Central agree with it. Oh, so when I was saying Star Wars, I wasn't, I didn't mean episode one. I guess we had different movies. Yeah, Aaron thinks that those are the original movies. No.

No. Can we get a little hint? Cheeemin and Christmas. Um, this is, it occurs in nature. Okay. River rain rain Aaron got it rain it falls standing but runs on its belly. Oh, so a droplet Droplet and what it falls down and yeah, okay, I love it. I love rain And it's great. Can you just add rain sounds here just cuz? Oh, yeah, add some rain sounds and here's what we're gonna do We're each just gonna give sort of a motivational expression through the rain

Okay, do you want to go first so I understand what that means okay? In a force with birds you are the one who takes flight Got it got it got it. Okay cool Aaron If you sneeze in no one says bless you you are still blessed. Every workplace has a Jeff. Okay. Yeah, it serves like Jack handy deep thoughts go ahead. Sure. Yeah. JBC just like who shook off his hands, stood up and then was done with locked out. I just want JBC clock over it. Wow. You're done with work for the day.

I guess what I should also say is if you're wondering who the Jeff is, it's you. So JBC recently we've been referring to you as Chef Comedy and you are wearing an apron and it says kiss the comedy. How was that going? So you guys have been calling me Chef Comedy. I wanted you to call me Jeff Boyardy. I didn't want to split hairs because I like both nicknames. Use them both.

Use them both. You didn't want to split hairs because you prefer to serve rabbit whole. Exactly. Exactly. No substitutions. No substitutions. No substitutions on my video, or else we'll put a tag on their chair. Whole rabbits, only.

Okay, this email, next email comes from Mary. Mary also puts Susie in quotes, so Mary prefers to be identified as Susie. Mary begins with a quote, this quote is from Hugh Lutton. So this is a book that was that Hugh Lutton wrote and these riddles I think are from this. I don't know. I love Hugh. Hugh Lutton. He's great. I was thrown because this email starts with a quote and I was like, is this a quote from Mary? But I will read this quote now. When we hear the riddle, a thousand

possible answers. Oh, actually Casey, can we get some rain sound effects for this? That'll be way better. When we hear the riddle, a thousand possible answers go rattling through our minds, but when we arrive at the right one, there is a moment of delight. The world is made richer by a twist of language, by a simple picture in the mind's eye, and once we've got the answer, we can take the riddle to someone who hasn't heard it. Now we are in a position of power. This is another of the pleasures of riddling.

It's called being in the know'm curious, do you have any perspective on the Hey Riddle Riddle Patreon? We're getting yet another different iteration of Hey Riddle City. I'm really glad that Aaron is taking it to high school. I think that's gonna be refreshing and I have a lot of faith that they really know their stuff. Great, thank you. Great. In case he has walked off the show, clocked out. All right, so some of these we've done before, and I'm not going to bother doing them, but some of them we have not.

So Mary puts 10 riddles here. When the horse strokes the cat, the wood begins to sing. This one doesn't seem specifically for me. Yeah, that sounds like something JP riddles. That sounds like something JP Riddles would say. Horse jerk it off a cat, wood singing. Um, JP's thinking you read it again. When the horse strokes the cat, the wood begins to sing.

So I do want to see a scene because it sounds like something JP Riddles would say. Oh, man. I want to see a scene Aaron, you are a like ad exec and you have a new product, a new product and a new product, and you've brought in JP riddles to come up with like the slogan or tagline and JP riddles is doing. Can I just say that I don't know why I thought

you were doing this, but when you said, I wanna see you see, Aaron, you will be JP riddles. I was over my dead body. All right, Aaron is an ad exec that she brought, JP riddles in. Yep. Yep. Thank you so much for coming in today. And thank you so much for putting this bag over my head.

I get to keep the bag, I assume. Yes, sorry. Because I have made a mess. Hard to get you on the phone. Hard to get you on the phone. So we had to find an unconventional way to get you in here. Anyway, we are. And this is confidential.

About to sell some raccoon coats. And we know the man for the job. Do you mind if I eat a fork while you're talking? Oh, you mean with a fork. What would you like to eat? No, no, no, no, no, I brought this fork. If you have another, I'll gladly use it to eat it as your rules. Yeah, actually, I have just for that forum. I'll save it. I'll bring you a fork for you to eat your fork with.

Sure, sure. Okay, thank you so much. Thank you so much. And Mr. Real's, I just want to say it's an honor. My name is Jeff. He's our intern. And here, I'm just going to have a slideshow prep. So I'm just going to tell you why. I'm not sure.

But one day you could be running the company. Oh, thank you. We actually try not to say stuff like that to the intern. Here, I'm going to say a product and show you a picture. And I just want you off the top of your dome to tell us the first tagline or motto you think of. Here we go. This is a new candy bar. It's filled with coconut and peanut butter. Give me that thing or I'll beat you to death with an old wooden tree.

Okay, we love that. Okay. Great, we love it. And this is just all a warm up for our raccoon coats. Okay, we're just getting the juices. raccoon coat. That's the one that I want to do. Let's keep up. Keep going with the slideshow though. I'm into this great Here's a this is a sports car. It is a two-door and it's a convertible top Never trust a bird bird is gonna tell you a secret that you don't want it here And you can't unheir something that you heard from a bird. We love it. We love it. All right. Now this is orange juice a pulp free orange juice If the employee at the Taco Bell sneezes on me, I should get the meal for free!

Great, and this is for a chain of restaurants where it's very, very tall women who serve you. Yeah, I meant the devil, but he poked me. He poked me well, good. Tall woman. Look at that tall woman. This one's for cigarette Eat him up Okay, I think this is the podcast now one more we have one more which is sure

Yeah, the raccoon coats. This is the raccoon coats. I would now would you mind? I see that we have one in the room. Would you mind if I Put tried one on just to get more on the field for it? That's why it's here. Okay. I'll just put my arm in here to lay through this hole. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, God. This one's still alive. All right. You'll never take me alive. You bastard. I know you're trying to eat my forks, but you're never gonna get them. Okay. Stuff myself in a microwave. Put deep. Bip, beep, beep, beep. All right. I'm cooking. I'm cooking you alive. I'm taking you with me.

That's a tall woman. Deep poop, beep, beep, beep, beep. All right, I'm cooking. I'm cooking you alive. I'll stick you in. That's a tall woman. Ha, ha, ha, ha. See. OK. Yay. Yay. I love it.

With JP Riddles, making out alive. No, he died in that microwave. That would be so funny if we never revisited that camera. I'm really kidding. Obviously, he got me microwaveed himself. He's dead. He's dead. Listen to us. We all have fun But he's still able to die

So when the horse pets the cat it turns into wood. No, nope when the horse strokes the cat the wood begins to sing Well, it's obviously an instrument Aaron you are correct. Oh, I know it is. Yes. It's a violin is cat-gut strings, horse hair bow, and then the noise would be the... It is correct. It is a violin. I mean, Aaron's... Not to be a little poopy feminist about this, but I really set him up for that. No, I just said Aaron's all the time.

No, no. I'm halting the show to be a feminist. Behind every great man, Aaron. Aaron, in the last scene, I said there were tall women. What else do you want? I'm a feminist, tall women. Hashtag tall women. Hashtag not?

Nope, nope, nope. Not all women. There's no tall women. All right. Make of me nothing and nothing fits me. Make of me something and something I'll be. Okay, I only heard one word from that. Can you repeat it?

Yep, make of me nothing and nothing fits me. Make of me something and something I'll be. Okay, this is a tricky one. A hole? Make of me. A hole is always a good answer. It is not a hole. Is it a child?

It's not a child. And before you both ask, it's not a child's hole. So get your mind right out of the gutter. Okay. Um, make up me nothing to nothing. It's me make if we something good something gonna be I think it's better to imagine who said this you Lepton who I don't know as a little troll of a person. JPC you got when you're old man puzzles you got a real like a rumple still skin vibe to you like the stakes feel high

Like I feel like if I don't answer it right you get my first born son Yeah, this is all a compliment by the way. Yeah, thank you. Thank you, and I make you turn crazy straws in the gold Make of me something and nothing make it me nothing fits me Make it something something I'll be so it's like if I'm nothing that I'm nothing and nothing fits me. Make of me something and something. And something I'll be. So it's like if I'm nothing, then I'm nothing and if I'm something, then I'm something. That's basically what this says.

It's breathed around this. I heard it around this. I, this one I think would be a headscratcher. So I'll give you a hint. You definitely know of a podcast that is all about this. Oh, murder. Dreadel.

Ha ha ha ha. You were correct, Dared. It is. It is murderous riddles. It is a riddle Okay, so next one on the way I saw a great wonder water had turned to bone Ooh bone water Bone water We was we was so poor that all we had to eat and drink was bone water Have you have you two ever seen Winters bone?

That's the one with it. Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes. So good. And John Hawks who plays Teardrop her uncle, phenomenal performance. One of the best one of the most underrated performances in cinematic history. That movie will weigh heavy on your heart for a long time.

I still think it's William Hurt. I still think that you met William Hurt. I still think you meant William Hurt. No? Hmm. History of our life. I do, can I say, unless he's done something weird or creepy, but I do love William Hurt as a performer. Oh yeah, he's great.

Hey Aaron, I don't know that he has, but I guarantee that he has. Uh. Uh. And that's also a sentence, right? William Hurt. Hurt, yes. It's like John.

William Hungry. Yeah, John Tash is a sentence. You've recished it. That's her name. Sure, John Tash is a sentence. I don't know. So you can read it one more time. On the way I saw a great wonder,

water had turned to bone. Okay, water turned to bone. Yeah, I think this is way simpler than it's making it out to be, water had turned to bone. Okay, water turned to bone. Yeah, I think this is way simpler than it's making it out to be, but what's another way? Yes, it's ice. Thank you, Eric. Water turned to bone is ice, maybe, I don't know. Ice is bone?

Ice is bone? Yeah. You two are on a first date, and Adel, you take a GPC to an ice skating rink and GPC, you're trying to play it really cool like you know how to ice skate but this is your first time. Yeah, so we're going to go to the counter over here and they will give you the skates. I brought my own skates just because you know I have the skates. I'm sorry if that's weird.

I can use the, I can use their skates too as well. Oh, I couldn't care less Okay, this will be our first and only date so whatever whatever makes you happy we won't be seeing each other again Hey, I have the rest of the night to prove you wrong I love the challenge. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna go to the there's a little food Keyass cure so I'm gonna grab something. I'm sorry. Can I get some um Let's see can I get can I get a Pepsi and no bones and whenever she whatever bones? And whatever she wants, I will pay for 40% of it. We sold out of Pepsi with no bones like two hours ago.

I can give you some hot cocoa with a little bit of bones. Why would you put bone and hot cocoa? That would cool it off. Well, it's just... Hey, me again, I do see hot Coco is a little more expensive than the Pepsi, so just so- Just so we're keeping track, I'm now down to 30% of whatever she's got. And I'm good. You're gonna pay for 30%, might as well just not pay for it. Okay, so, hey, the lady says I shouldn't pay, so I- I- I- I- I guess I won't.

Okay, well that's fine. I- I. I know that you're a children's magician, so I know you don't have the money to spare, so I will pay for it myself. Great. Okay. Let me just open it. Okay, are you ready to get on the whole pair? Yes, I am.

Thank you so much. Oh, you do have Pepsi, okay? You lied to me earlier. With Bugs. Okay, great. And here we go. I'm just gonna use this shoes I brought here. I'm not gonna have skates, so let's get on the ice. You're not gonna, okay, great. And here we go. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna use this shoes. I brought here I'm not gonna have skates. So let's get on the ice. You're not gonna. Okay, well

Yeah, you could you could hurt yourself pretty easily if you could on that without the proper blades Oh, you think I'm gonna hurt myself because I don't have skates on I don't have blades on you think a woman can't walk on ice Hey, look all you have to remember is when you're. I don't have blades on. You think a woman can't walk on ice? Hey, look, all you have to remember is when you're out there, don't fall. Hey, mom, dad, tell the story of your first date again. Who's that kid? We're not your mom and dad. I'm trying to sit by my feet. There's a lot of stuff here. So you have to say, cold is my parents. My name. What did you last see your parents, little child? I said seen. He.

Sorry. I really wanted to make that child the potato head. All right, one more. One more. Okay. Placed above, it makes things smaller. Placed beside, it makes things greater. It matters that count, it always comes first, where others increase, it remains the same.

What is it? The number one. One is the loneliest answer to the riddle, please. And this movie's three and a half hours long, but Paul Thomas Anderson can do no wrong. This movie's not going to stop. Is it the number one? It is the number one, Adam. Yeah, yeah.

Nail on the head of the nail. Wow. And, okay, looks like Adam is getting up out of his chair. Adam is running all around his closet. He's taking a victory lap. So there's nothing around his closet. He's taking a victory lap. So there's nothing else to do. Adel's taking a victory lap. We might as well take a little break.

And we'll be right back after a little of these. Come up, show up. I did it, I won! I didn't, he didn't win. One, two, three, four, eight, Rick, go, Rick, go! Hey, GPC. Rick or Rick? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help.

I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Okay. Um, I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform.

I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. You're not mad at you. We're pranking Addle.

We're pranking Addle. We're pranking Addle. We're pranking Addle. We're pranking Addle. We're pranking Addle. We're pranking Addle. to website engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up

on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you,

saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna do you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits

and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank activity. Well, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. No, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace.

Yeah, Prank. You can connect to your store to Venettern Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com

for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked.

But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that?

Like, have they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s But it still stands true today more than ever Aaron you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships being stuck in the middle of the woods Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in between the two d's. I am home. I am home.

Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Um, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app rocket money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also want especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast.

Rocket money will quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, Kling, Kling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off.

Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock and stuff. Stop, stop, stop, no, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money dot com slash riddle.

And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money. The website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, 28 hours. Do you guys ever notice that the characters we play on this podcast become a part of us? Oh, so the thing that I've noticed is that I immediately forget everything that I've said. And it slips, it slips by me, like, uh, uh, Taco Bell through the system of a me. Truly when, when every Wednesday, when an episode comes out and somebody tags like a line we said or, or DMs me about something I said, I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like on this on today's Hey, we're in a little I'm like, that was like a week and a half ago. What do you want from me? Someone at one point, I will fully admit that I have no idea what this is in reference to.

This is maybe a couple of weeks ago, we got a bunch of emails that were like, all right, I'll bite. Tell me the, tell me the tale of come Gary or something like that. I were like, all right, I'll bite. Tell me the tale of come Gary or something like that. I was like, don't know what that means. I was like, I can't help you. It's a- I have an embarrassing version of that story. Someone tweeted at me a line. I said it a Patreon episode.

And I forgot. I said it at first. And I laughed out loud at my own joke. God, I forgot making- I laughed like belly laughed. It was on- It was from the improv one we did. I need a great phanta while I wait for my cousin to die from a sword wound.

Yep. That's all. It's really the greatest part of the podcast. It should be a t-shirt. Let's go with this one. A lot of little brothers, a lot of little brothers line in one house. If you scratch their heads, they will die. What are they? Matches? Matches!

I had a solo character that I did, which was an RA coming into a room and you think she's like really pissed in a annoyed that everyone has drugs and alcohol, but really she's looking for little brothers. She just doesn't want anyone to bring her little brothers to college. Like. I know your little brothers here. Just tell me the truth. I mean, I get it. I had my little brother visit. My first year, do. I know

what they smell like. And R.A. is famously the Egyptian god, right? Yes, of course, naturally. I want to see you seeing the goose bumps. And JPC you are a freshman at Vanderbilt University. Hell yeah. Aaron you are the RA who's a sophomore, but you think you are way more mature, way more worldly and you're trying to share some of that knowledge and worldliness with this new freshman. So this is the dining hall. Sorry I'm going too fast. You probably don't know what that means.

When we eat food, I'm getting so ahead of myself. In order to have energy as a person, you have to consume food and water. Sort of like a fun kind of college thing. It's part of the culture of the campus that you eat and drink so you can sustain yourself. Any questions? Yeah, I just thought that they didn't do

like a freshman hell week anymore. Like I thought that that was more like a thing for high school. They don't. Um, so over here is the bathroom. Oh, how to explain. Um, how to explain. Okay, so you're gonna be eating and drinking in the dining hall. And then it's sort of like a pipe that will go through you and then you have to go to the bathroom And get rid of all the food and drink that already went through your body. Does that make sense? I mean, yeah, you're describing like a basic human No, it's sort of part of like our culture here on campus. It's someone telling you that I had been in an accident or something Or that I needed a reason. I'm just telling you stuff that specific to Harvard. I'm just telling you stuff that's specific to Harvard. I'm just telling you stuff that's specific to Harvard.

This is Vanderbilt. This is Vanderbilt. I don't need to know Harvard stuff. We cut to a JPC who's clearly in a coma and his father's talking to the doctor. Doctor, it seems like he's twitching and saying mutterings and musing, so we'll be like, I don't know.

I went to Vanderbilt in my room? I don't know. I went to Vanderbilt not Harvard. See that? Just kidding. Just kidding. Vanderbilt's amazing. I almost said, but it's no Harvard. I almost ran up to the two of you and said, mommy, daddy,

tell me the story of when you first met. What I lost kid is this. Speaking of kids, if you had found me in my youth, then you would have happily drunk the blood I shed. But now that time has made me old, you eat me anyway. Wrinkled as I am with no moisture in me, crushing my body between your teeth. Ooh, this is a raisin.

That's grapes and raisins. That's the same thing. I want to see a scene. JBC, you are raisin, AdLUR, a grape, and you are striking an unlikely friendship. Um, plump, and I produce wine. Oh yeah, look at me shine. Dude, dude, grapes is... grapes is great. Oh, oh, you want your ring back?

Thank you for my precious To be like you I would love to be like you oh Yeah, I mean we'd all love to be like me. I'm beautiful For one night with you Switch places with me. let me live your life. No, I'm not gonna get it in that fountain. Lightning! Oh, you just got hit by lightning!

That's not- No, I really want to switch. My arms are all crispy. No, I'm good. I'm good. Hey, but- I'm a witch and I'm putting a curse on you. Oh no! Oh no.

Just jump I think in the pumpkin! Why would she do that? Hey, you'll be great like a tangine or something You'll be great like a tangine like you'll be super tangy Oh no, I'm a razor with pumpkin feet and a fucked up arm, I suck! Hey, JB Paces! No, I don't want to- Can I have sex with you, Grape? I'm pushing you, Logan the fountain

What was it? I pushed you both in the fountain. What was it? I pushed you both into the fountain. Ah, somebody pissed it here! I would always have covered a piss with pumpkin feet and broken arm! Is this how JP Riddles was made? Can I... I've seen it. JP Riddles...

You guys, I'm gonna get so much trouble for copying the plot of Freaky Friday. You guys... Remember when Jamie Lee Curtis played that that reason with fucking Pete covered in this? Can I just say I want to say and JPC this is JPC this is purely this is purely your call. This is JPC. I can't stress enough. This is your call.

This is stupid. You're in complete control. This is your call. Can we say canonically that JP Riddles was formed When a raisin with pumpkin feet was pushed down into a fountain covered in piss and was struck by lightning. I feel like Well, here's here's the two thing I think about this podcast. I feel like I Got painted into a quarter quick with JP Riddles. So now whatever do a character, it's like, hey, how's it going? They're like, hey, JP riddles, can we help you

with being JP riddles? JP riddles? I just want to be a reason with pub-kid feet. Is that a crime? It's on thing. Obviously, to JP riddles is an old rat-pack jazz singer. You got eaten in path through raccoons and then put back together.

Well, I feel like you were painting to the corner because of the listener response. Like people were like, yes, JP Riddles, because it's an amazing character. But then I feel like there's also a creation of yours that ran rampant for a long time, which was like, some would come up and be like, I love Hey, Riddle Riddle and I'd be like,

oh, thank you so much. I appreciate your support. And they're like, I'm a listener. Can you support me, Focker? And I would just be like, I don like, I have nothing to say to that. And they'd be like, I understand. I understand, can you not respond to me, Focker? I'm like, I don't want to play this game.

I, again, I did invent that quote. That's for me and don't Google it. Aaron. Yes. And Adel, you can both participate in this next riddle. Yes. What belongs to you, but others use it more than you do for Genety. Adel, you can only use it once. Your name was a waste. Aaron, it's your name.

And you can tell everybody this is your name. This is your virginity. You go, you go into it through one hole. you come out of it through three holes. For Jimmy. When you're inside it, you're ready to go outside. When you're outside, you're still inside. What is it? Bowling ball. Adel, it is a bowling ball.

You go in and then out of a bowling ball. You snake-finkered motherfucker. No, it's not a bowling ball. Okay, can I hear more time? I'd like to see a scene. Yes. When we are bowling pins, just sort of waiting to the tin spot. I'm probably gonna do okay for myself So you know, but what once we get wrecked back up all is fair. So just just so you know you guys

What is it Jacqueline? Jacqueline Jacqueline you know what you need to do to calm down. You gotta do the splits Jacklyn, you know what you need to do to calm down you gotta do the splits Oh, Jacklyn, no don't do that you don't want to do that Roy's gonna throw you out into the pile of broken pins I don't want him to the boy bull's gonna come on. No, you're coming. Oh, no, wait. Okay, switch to switch to me How I don't know. Are you talking to the. None of us do. Well, I did. I had one, but then I got hit by that lightning bolt.

Yeah. Tell us the story. Can we get that one more time? You didn't get the answer. You didn't get the answer to this. You go into it through one hole. You come out of it through three holes. When you're inside, you're ready to go outside.

When you're outside, you're ready to go outside. When you're outside, you're still inside. What is it? Is this something you physically walk into or is this more like your fingers or something? I guess walk into is maybe not the right word, but physically enter, yes. Is it like a, oh, is it like a shoe? Dollhouse? It's not a shoe A pants a jacket a bass It's it is a jacket or I would say sweater most likely but jacket I think fits You go to one hole you go to one hole and you exit through three holes. So we think a jacket has three holes I

Guess if the neck hole of the jacket if it's like a buttoned up jacket or a zipped up jacket, then yes. And here's something I'm gonna say and I feel unapologetic about it. If you put hot take alert, if you put on your jacket while it's button, you fucking suck. No, you're actually way better than anyone else because most people can't do. You're saving time. You're saving time. No. Well, Adel's, that's his hot take. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time.

You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time.

You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time.

You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. You're saving time. card sword hat. So I can only own one nice piece of clothing. Adel says sword hat, which good luck getting on an airplane with a sword hat dummy. I would say I would say pair of pants because I feel like that's gonna be that's what you need to be like studious or like most have the you know the longest run. I was gonna say pair of shoes, but I think that shoes, like, for whatever reason would get worn out faster than pants.

I think also you're just putting like more miles on them, right? So like, you guys are being so sensible with your answers. What would you do in here? Would you do a big, a big fake flower? Be a big fake flower, probably. Shoot Cartoon Water on people. Just sun hat. No, I, the reason why I said, brought this up is because I love really gorgeous like pea

coats. If I could have a collection of anything, it would be like gorgeous, luxurious, outwear. Do it, don't peak and correct me if I'm wrong because I definitely am. Aren't all pea coats the same? Like pea coat is like the navy coat, right? No, well maybe technically, I just mean sort of like, like it's a cut. Yeah, I want like maroon wool,

cash me a coats and scabs and. Yeah, but. There was a guy at my old work who came in with a brand new p-coat one day, and I was like, it was one of the only times that I've been like jealous at a piece of clothing. Now, I've owned a p-ico and I actually don't like them for Chicago.

I'd much rather wear a parka when it gets super cold. But it did look like I was like, damn. Look at this pico. Tell me, you broke. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Okay, final riddle on this email from Mary. It says, something was here since the world began yet it is never more than a month old.

Something is here since the world began. Never more than a month old. Is it a month? No, it's not a month. Is it some sort of like insect or? It's an insect or animal or a moon. Aaron it's the it's the greatest insect of the world. The moon. Wow. Okay I want to see a scene. moon Aaron it's the it's the greatest in six of them all the moon

Okay, I want to see a scene Aaron you are the moon the you're a full moon and Adela and I are stars And we know that tomorrow you're going to be basically, you know destroyed Good morning guys twinkoo. Oh, hello. Hello. Did you see it? You look full. Hey, start here. Start your new star. I'm a little moon. I just wanted to come over here and apologize for the saying that people keep saying like shoot for the moon.

If you fail, you'll land amongst the stars. Why are you both? I just don't think you guys are inherently failures. I think a little bit for sure. You're not as good amongst the stars. Why are you both, oh. I just don't think you guys are inherently failures, I think a little bit for sure. You're not as good as the moon. Oh thank you. I just wanted to come over in these hurry. Yeah, can I?

Can we apologize to you? Because nobody ever says they're a fucking all-moon. Hey now, you're an all-moon, right? That doesn't make sense. Yeah. And we also want to apologize because no one ever pulls down their pants and say, hey, I'm starring you.

Yeah, and the man never hosted Moon Search. So, fuck you, I guess. Bye. Okay, go to the corner. What'd you say? You come to our house? I'm just saying, I look bigger in this guy. You come in our house?

You throw a new one around? Yeah, maybe from fucking Earth. That's not even our solar system, but it's awesome. I think I know, do any humans know your name or you just named after a random person that gave it as a gift in a relationship and they're no one yet together? You're winning. No, it's not worth it, she's winning. My name is Barbara Miller.

Are they still together? I don't know. I'm assuming they're dead. I live for billions of years and who fucking knows, but I'm Barbara Miller now. Yeah, congrats on having an effect on periods. I hate you, I'm actually pretty proud of that. I also tied.

Do you affect any tides? Or do you just sort of exist? Honestly, you could affect some tides by fucking told in one of those pods in the laundry next time you come around us, because you're stealing us. Wow, that's my own cheese Moongies, stickiest Stickiest for cheese

Woo, woo, woo I'm coming back to our I'm a bobo Oh shit Oh no Oh no See We just watched it blow out

I don't know how I just got my feelings heard as the moon But yeah I did. That's not anything. We know a lot of mood and star references. Thank you so much, Mary. We really appreciate those riddles. And we appreciate you taking them from wherever book that you took them from. Okay.

This next one comes from Monica. Thank you for sending this in Monica. Monica says, Play-Doh wrote this bad boy. Pretty sure he was drunk when doing so. So it's by Play-Doh, and I read this riddle, and I didn't, I didn't Google to see if Play-Doh actually wrote this riddle. So Monica doesn't provide any evidence of this is Plato, but it says that this is by Plato.

So here's the question. There is a story that a man and not a man saw and did not see a bird and not a bird perched on a branch and not a branch and hit him and did not hit him with a rock and not a rock and we should clarify For listeners who might be confused back in olden days in Greece They called men men and they called women not a man So it's a man a woman I need to see a scene in. Uh, JPC, you are Plato, and Adel you are Plato's like scriber assistant, and Plato is drunk out of his mind, and his assistant is trying to make sense of what he's saying to write

it down. Flarklees, broccoli, broccoli, please. Please sir, if you could just have a seat and drink some water, I've brought you some water from the well on the hill. Now let's drink well water like a common man. I have... ...filosophizing to do. So, here, you're a scribe. We're gonna... ...pinsule, dip it in a quill, rub it in some ink. You know, you know, do the thing. You know the thing.

Yes, I have a pen ready, sir. I'm just gonna start spitballing. I'm gonna start shooting from the hip. Okay. I'm losing. Ready for me, all. The spirits of Mars are in me tonight. All right, let's just shoot. What do I see? What do I see? The spirit of Mars are in me tonight.

That was the album you tried to release last year that flopped. Did it flop? Yes, you people liked it, though. There's no play in it. Okay, show, show, show. Hey, don't bad vibes. You bad vibes tonight, Broccoli Leaves. Let's see. What do I see? I'm in Miss Brokeleys. Don't matter, hey, don't bad vibes. You bad vibes tonight, Brocka Lee's. Let's see, what are you guys seeing?

I am Miss Brokillus. Don't matter to me, Brocka Lee's. Yeah. All right, the ceiling. What do we see with it leans? An earthquake. Did you, okay? When the ceiling leans, see leans, earthquake.

Sir, I'm not gonna snap. You're not gonna snap, but you're gonna write it down. Okay, okay, that one's gold. That one's put that one in the front of the book Sorry if I may and I don't mean to upset you, but the best seller lists the Grecian best seller list came out last month and eras tofines is on top Stereo of what fines eras tofines He has the number one and two spot on the

Number one into yes, okay, okay, okay, you fall into six six we got to we're gonna do some good stuff okay uh when a pan gets too hot take it out the stove walk around for a little bit and then cook your breakfast okay that wasn't good trash that okay okay uh you give me a topic you give me a topic any topic and I'll philosophize on it okay um brotherackley's come on. Yes, I thought Phil's off call topic and the meaning of life meaning of life Me of life money Python good movie Watch it or I'll see the play. All right next one Brackley's come on. Okay Roadkill road kill

Roadkill. Roadkill. You know, if we weren't meant to not eat roadkill, it wouldn't have such an appetizing name. Great, okay. Next one. Orange juice with no pulp. Orange juice with no pulp. Do you might have put all this raccoon coat? Well, we know it is because I'm getting a little cold. All right, all right. Oh my god, that roadkill thing is. Wow. That's the sound bite of your life. That's your life. There's a story that a man and not a man saw and did not see a bird and not a bird. Perch and a branch and not a branch and hit him and did not hit him with a rock

and not a rock. How is this possible? This is possible because- Dream. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha. Correct. No, it's not a dream.

It's not a dream, but that is a great answer. This is possible because it is a famous story. This is Schrodinger's story. Oh, interesting. It's a man, but not a man who hit a bird, but didn't hit a bird, who scratched his butt, but didn't scratch his butt, et cetera. I think that that is a very accurate way to say it. I don't think that there's much that you, this is a very, you have to know a very specific, there's an explanation for how this person a very, you have to know a very specific, there's an explanation for how this person is a man and not a man, how this person saw and did not see,

perched and not perched, hit with a rock and not a rock. There's an explanation for each one of those line items and that forms the sentence that is the answer to this riddle. Can we, I wanna put a call of action to our listeners. If you can somehow type up a paper or a diagram that shows JPC, if JPC is behind the closed door, he is simultaneously not drinking his own piss for $80

and drinking $800. I'm sorry, how dare you. Just like to see a little diagram of that. I'll give you the answer. So we don't know, I want to try to get now there, give me that hint. Okay, man and not a man. A woman. I

I like a boy. I both of those I like better but so yes keep going because I like that better than what's here. Okay, and then what's the second one? A man and not a man has a boy is great. Saw and did not see a bird and not a bird. So the man saw a bird and the boy saw it did not see a bird and not a bird. So two different things to unpack there. Is it like saw? No, it doesn't have anything to do with that. It's both visual. Saw it did not see. And Aaron, you're wearing something. Classes. Classes. Specific here. So you're some glasses today. I was really curious, guys. Is it possible that you're wearing the glasses because your eyesight might not be 100% perfect?

Yes. So, would you, maybe, if you're looking at something, would you see that you see it and then you also don't see it? Yeah. Maybe your vision. Classes. Vision's not great. Okay.

That's the second part. So, it's a boy who did not see well. Saw a bird and not a bird. Okay. That's the second part. So it's a boy who did not see well. I saw a bird and not a bird. A bird and a bird would be an ostrich. Yes, but ostrich and penguin are actually birds. This is something that is absolutely not a bird. But from a far enough distance could be confused for a bird. A bat. A bat. Okay Didn't know that. A bat, okay. You got it. Perched on a branch and not a branch. Branch and not a branch.

It was a bush. Yeah, it's a reed. So it's not actually a branch. It's a reed. Mr. Fantastic. Yes, it's Mr. Fantastic. He's stretchy. That's why you back and said, and hit him and did not hit him with a rock and not a rock.

Hit him and did not hit him. He grazed him. He grazed him. Yes. And with a rock and not a rock. Hit him and not hit him. He grazed him. He grazed him? Yes. And with a rock but not a rock. Pebble. Ooh, nice one. Bolt.

Sand. Uh-uh. Think volcano. Lava. No, no, no, no. What's it called when it cools down and they have that, you can rub it on your feet sometime. A whole apple. Pummus. Pummus. Yes. It was a piece of pumice, which he threw No, no, no, what's it called when it cools down and they have that you can rub it on your feet sometime

Pummus pumice. Yes. It was a it was a piece of pumice which you threw and missed That's the whole thing. That's the whole thing a a boy did not see well saw a bat perched on a Read and threw some pumice which happened to miss its mark. Thank you playdough for that riddle I want to see you sing. Drunk Play-Doh. Thank you Drack to work. Drunk Play-Doh for adults. Aaron, I want to see you sing. I want you to be a young lady and you can't see so well and you are being bullied Bats played by JPC. Um, who throw things at you? Ah, geez. What is that sound? Who's hitting my window again? Contact him. Oh my god, you're back.

You're holding back? Did you say I'm back? All I'm saying is that you're holding a boombox over your head. Guess who's back? Bad again. Bad is back. We broke up, okay. Oh, come on. I left some of my CDs here. I left Eminem's stand.

Alright, fine. Here are your CDs. Now go back to the cave. We're done here. Okay. And even if you play Peter Gabriel on your boom box and hold it over your head, you will not win me back. Trust me, I've tried to pick up that boom box. It's heavy as shit. Do you want some of the stuff that you left in my cave? Yes, please.

Okay, so here is some of your Bat poop. Here's a little more of your Bat poop. I thought, you know, I just- I not leave anything in the cave and you just want it in the cave. I just poop in here. I just want to come over here and poop. And I didn't want to see you, I want to see you too. And because I miss you.

Oh, that's classic. It's just me and like 50,000 of my friends and I miss you. You know, I'll come back to the back cave. I'll do it. We'll never work out you sleep all day. I also sleep all day, but I'm not supposed to. Yeah, that's true, but we can make it work. Please, I'll do anything. I want you, Bat. I want you, Bat, baby. The bat, the heat, your rise, echolocation, your rise.

Wait, you don't even use your eyes. Use echolocation. Are you riffing on a joke song about bats? Because that is a bridge too far. See, I'm sorry. Guess who's bat bat again? Outstanding. Those were my best bat songs.

I almost had a dating a baseball bat now and I was like, this is not do this. Bat the drive in, I got nothing. Oh God, yeah, Pinnick at the bat's go. The battles, bat's free for you. Pinnick at the bat at the disco is what I worked on for. the battles that's right we're gonna get the bad disco is what I was for wings

wings wings the travel we got a thing and it's called radar love the beach bats diamond and beach Diana Ross in the

bats Simon and I said beach bat and garfunkel. Earthwind and bat. I was bat stello. Bert back or bat. Hey, and if you were, if you want to put bat the name of a popular band, you go ahead and send it over to us in hashtag it bat band. That's probably the other one using that. Batman. Anyone remember the musical Batboy? Did you ever listen to that?

I listened to it because you told me it was good. Absolute fever dream. Well, I only remember like two songs from it, but I used to listen to the song Three Better Room House from Batboy. If that is ringing any bells to any of you, please tweet me about it. Casey gave it a thumbs up.

Wow, Adel said you said it was good and Aaron backed off of it immediately, but he'd be like, oh, don't leave too songs. I like that song Well speaking of things you like Aaron. Is there anything you'd like to plug? Follow me Aaron keep 10 in Aaron keep 2 on Twitter if instead of examining your anger towards women you want to Message a pod cast host and tell her that she's being a annoying shitty feminist. And Aaron, I need to ask. So your Aaron Keefe 10 on Twitter?

Oh, Aaron Keefe 10 on Instagram, Aaron Keefe 2 on Twitter. So Aaron Keefe 10 on Instagram, Aaron Keefe 2 on Twitter, is it because you want to keep your handles at 10 and 2, like a good driver? Exactly. Perfect. At a weir 110 episodes in, that joke is fucking golden. I love that joke. Not worth that.

I love it. I love it. You guys, they have hard eyes for each other right now. Wow. Gage, gage, gage. Do you see anything to plague? Sure, you can follow me over on Twitch at Shark Barkamon. Is my Twitch name.

We're in the Shark Tank. I play video games from pretty much Monday through Friday for a few hours. We're in the Shark Tank, I play video games from pretty much Monday through Friday for a few hours if you're in the Central Time Zone. I put coming out, it's a fun time. And then go listen to the Bill Buds pod. Maybe the next time we record, we'll have Adults opinion on the theme song.

I'll give it 10 JPCs. Ooh, 10 JPCs. 10 out of 10 JPCs. Okay, thank you, because 10 JPCs is not a lot. 100 JPCs. That's a lot, that's JPCs is not a lot. 100 JPCs. That's a lot. That's a big about. That's really good.

Addle, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Yes. If you don't, listen, you should check out a podcast that you called Hello from the Magic Tavern. It's an improvised fantasy show. And we have... I did an Earth Games with Momo that maybe just came out. It's the most fun I've ever had on any podcast ever, I think.

Whoa. I guess we won't be releasing this episode of Poverlobe Rittle. Yeah, we have bonus content. We have bonus content. It's Stitcher Premium, so if you go to Stitcher, you can sign up and we have a bunch of sort of spin-off series, like Aaron mentioned,

we do have a series called Earth Games. Aaron was on, JPC was on, a bunch of other guests, some of our favorites, so please check that out. And also, if you have an idea for what I should do or name my potential bar, please help me out. I'm thinking, Jim had an idea to name it ReFi Tie, like a My Tie, or TKZ, which is like a speak easy TKZ, so let me know.

I kind of like ReFi Tie. That's. And Adel, thank you again for asking us to be in your wedding party. It's truly one of the coolest things ever. Thank you both for saying yes. I will say JPC said, because he said, is there a certain color? And I said, I think we're doing blues with purple. So you could wear a blue suit with a purple tie or I guess a purple suit with a blue tie.

And JPC said, yeah, I'm going to come to your wedding dress like the fucking Joker. Ha-ha-ha. Hashtag bat-sogs. And Erin, we feel so bad for treating the moon so poorly. So let's just end the podcast with another quick scene where the moon calls on one of her other friends. Hey, Jupiter, can you come over? I got roasted today. Oh, sorry'm sorry. I'm busy. Bye forever Good-outically Jupiter boys Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Nemours. Hey, if you enjoyed that episode, we think you might enjoy our Patreon episode that comes out this Friday.

It is the second episode in our 1980s high school mystery arc. It is an absolute blast. It's my favorite episode of the three. Oh, it's so much fun recording it. I left so hard. Don't tone it when I said that at the secret. Arty Parrot wrote a new theme for it. And Casey Tony is killing it on the editing. If you are interested in that, go to patreon.com slash hayrittlerittle and sign up for our clue crew, which is $5 a month, or our review crew, which is $8 a month. You get two hours

of extra bonus content. We'd love to see you there. That's patreon.com slash hayrittlerittle.