Hey Riddle Riddle - #111: The Heart is the Greatest Weapon

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

Happy Wednesday! This week Erin is Old Man Puzzles and she reads some very creative listener submitted riddles. But that’s not all! There’s a man who doesn’t realize his son is a rat, a woman pretending to be a duck, and Rube Goldberg trying to propose marriage. We also see a commercial for a family owned mortuary that goes just as well as you expect. Is this week that we finally go insane? Listen to find out!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I love the story that John Hodgman told on this American life where he talks about when he was in New York and he walked into the Apple store while those commercials were playing. And he said that everyone, he said that he just walked into the Apple store in like Times Square in New York to go shopping while those commercials were running. And it was like the world imploded it on him. People started screaming and freaking out like,

what is the pace in doing in here? Why would he think he could go into the stores when those, why would he think he could do that? He's like apples paying me. I'm obviously on Apple's side, but people are dumb. Anyway, I'm JPC. No. Yes.

Yes, I'm not a morphe. No, and I'm Erin Keeb. And this is Hey Riddler Riddler, a show where we do riddles. And I'm the riddle, and that's the riddle and that's the hay. Is this our intro? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I like my new thing as a prankster because we know I'm kind of the prankster of the show. Would you say that I'm the prankster of the show?

I would say, so what's, okay, here's a question. So a prankster is someone who like gives someone a hot foot or like puts dog poop on a porch and lights it or something, a lot of fire stuff. What do you call someone who's a prankster, but then like accidentally kills people? A bad friend. That's what you are.

That's what you are. A genius. So one of my new little pranks that I do is when we, just when we think that we're all talking, we're having fun, we're just talking about stories about our life, I sneak in that this is actually the intro. And then- This is the first time you've done this.

Yeah, what's the new thing? That's what pranks are always evolving. And so you see. And then we make Aaron tell stories about times that she listened to that's American life. That's American life. Typically pranks, there's polar pranks and then they move on with their life.

I feel like you did your prank and now you're explaining it in the way that like a super villain does. Yes. So Batman's gonna burst in here any minute and it could be spaghetti and punch me to death. Um, JPC's the prankster. Mm-hmm. I'm the jock and add all the jock.

Jocks were those people in high school that were always sleeping, right? Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. No, we told you your quarterback was in a coma. We still won, Stake.

And I'm the, I'm the know it all. Mm-hmm, the brainiac. The label know it all. The brainiac. Yeah, absolute brainiac. Mm-hmm. Would you take offense to someone saying, like calling you Einstein?

That was always something that I never got. Someone being like, nice job Einstein. Are they implying that you're, is it after you've done something really dumb? For me, it was every time that I was after I brought people a bunch of bagels. And I don't. So you should take offense. Okay.

Cause Einstein was not Jewish. Would no, but Einstein brothers bagels, are you not familiar? You're from the Midwest. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. What is happening? Well we're here like local bagel places.

Like where did you get bagels growing up? It was Einstein. We got Einstein bagels and then, was there any other local bagel places that we went to? I've never had a local bagel place in a town I lived in. Really? We had a place called Atlantic Bagel that was a like one minute walk from our high school so everyone would show up with like a delicious cream cheese bagel to the home room. They're amazing. I like to bagel and hang them. Bagels are a bigger thing on the East Coast than they are in the Midwest.

Oh, for sure. My favorite thing, anytime I got in New York, maybe my first stop is to go to Murray's bagels. Murray's bagels, or if I need to, S.A. Bagels is a good second runner up. But that's, I mean, bagels are phenomenal. Oh, can I do my New York recommendation? Yeah.

Every time I go to New York, the first stop is my hotel to drop off my bags. I don't care my bags around with me, while I'm in the coming city like that. That's a hot tip. The sidewalks are more narrow in New York than they are in Chicago, so first stop always my hotel. Always drop off my bags. Here's a very nice try Einstein. Here's my thing. I felt good. Every year I go to New York maybe six or seven times, but I always. Not this year, motherfucker.

Not this year. I always thank you. I always just wear like a backpack. I never have luggage. So I don't go to the hotel room or the Airbnb or wherever I'm staying because I just walk around with my backpack. Yeah, you have a giant backpack.

I have a giant backpack. Oh, speaking of giant backpacks, I thought about, so JPC, you have a new podcast called Bill Buds. Thank you for mentioning it. And all the positive press we can get. It's wonderful. And you were kind of to invite Aaron and I on and I know what I want to review on Bill Buds.

Oh, yeah. It's a song that's been stuck in my head for weeks now. It's not enough. Thank you, albums. Well, we're just going to do one song. Oh, yeah, it's a song that's been stuck in my head for weeks now. It's not an album. And we're just going to do one song. And it's the new subway song that goes five, five dollar, five dollar foot longs. Am I going crazy right now?

Do you say the new subway song that does that? Well, there's a new commercial with it. Yeah, but you are where you are, where that song has been around. We're like a decade, right? Sure. Ever since they swept Jared under the rug, where you are where you are where that song has been around for like a decade, right? Sure ever since they swept your down under the rug Where you would go? Uh, Addle was grounded for 10 years and he finally got his TV Privilege back. No, I didn't. I wasn't

He was he was grounded and now we gave him TV back, but I think that would be a fun episode to just do Songs from commercials because man, songs from commercials are kind of like pop music and that they are earworms and they absolutely just stick in your fucking head forever. Oh yeah, I think it would be fun to review all commercial songs because yeah, like you said, they're made to stick with you and that song I've been seeing around the house nonstop, or do like TV theme songs, like the Golden Girls theme or whatever like whatever album. What do you think the catchiest TV theme song of all time is I do think golden girls is I do think the golden girl's theme

song is has to be if it's not number one it's in the top three for sure. For me in terms of sticking in my brain it's the cat dog theme song. For me in terms of sticking in my brain, it's the cat dog theme song. For whatever reason I fucking, that'll just pop into my brain. I'll wake up in the morning and be like, a lone in the world with a little cat dog. Never seen it.

Charles in charge has a very catchy theme song, but I will say the line from any theme song that gets stuck in my head the most is, growing up is not so tough. Except when I've had enough, which is from the Kaius theme song. Oh, you know what's in my head constantly. Camp on Iwana, we hold you in our hearts. I want to think about you.

It makes me want to fart. I think it kind of is a bummer that we don't do theme songs like lyric theme songs much anymore. And it's just like interesting music scores and things like that. I do miss like the theme song, like sitcom-y theme songs that like set up what you were about to see or what you've already see the thousand times.

Yeah. Like the Brady Bunch song. Mm-hmm. It's like, here's the song. Friends, cheers. Yeah. Cheers is a good one. Cheers is a good one too.

Friends? That's good, but I don't think about it. Like it's never, except for the clap part, I don't think about it. Well also it's not you, was it unique to friends or was it a song before friends that they just used for friends? I don't know. It's from the Rembrandt, so either way we'd never heard of it. We'd never heard of it.

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Speaking of other things that are fun and cool, we do a podcast about riddles and it's called Hey Riddle Riddle and Aaron, Aaron your old man puzzles for this episode correct I'm very old. I'm the oldest man and I'm the oldest puzzles I'm about to turn to dust say something that only someone from 1917 would say Died or so Okay, you can still be around forever The Titanic sank recently.

That was the number one thing on T-shirts in 1970. How about this? World War One. Almost. Yes. Are we? I remember when people were predicting World War One all the time. Oh, they would say the Great War is upon us. And they knew there'd be multiple, which is why they said World War One. Only one rose event will ever be president. What else? What else? What else? You know, 100 years, it will be 2017.

Model T. Question mark. Can you now expand that pause by 11 minutes, please Yes, okay cool, okay, all right for real I'm old man puzzles and these are really fun ones from Nathan We'll be the judge of that Nathan. Ooh famous hot dogs. There are specific sort of like a Set up for warm-up riddles that I think are really fun. I'm going to do listener-submitted riddles from recently, famously JPC does the ones from 2018 and I started the most recent ones. Aaron, you said they have a, are these knock-knock jokes? No, but they are a really fun concept. I also think that Nathan might not be from the United States by the way that he phrases this.

So you tell me what you think. I've reinstalled Tinder recently and it got me thinking two part chat up lines are basically just warm up riddles to try and get smooches. So basically like pick up line. Smooth smooches. Yeah, he's from Germany. I meant chat up line. So here are the first half of some chat up lines.

Space. Let me give you some shmuches. So here are the first half of some chat up lines. Try to see if you can guess the second half. Deal. Example. Hey, are you a pillow? Because I'd like to sleep with you.

So the first half would be, hey, are you a pillow? Great. I'm glad it went in a better way. What were you going to say? Because you I'm glad it went in a better way. What were you gonna say? Because you're about to get stuffed? Oh, nice. I'd say I want you in between my legs. It actually is really good for back pain

to sleep with a pillow in between your legs. Doesn't matter. Hey, are you a pillow? Because the back of you is super cold. Hey, poor blood circulation. Are you a pillow because I wanna flip you over and use the other half? Are you, hey, Aaron, are you a pillow because I want to flip you over it? You see other half. Hey, Aaron, are you a pillow?

No, why? You must be a pillow because you're looking down. At what? You look sad. No, you look sad. Oh, oh boy. Are you ready? Yes. Hey girl, are you a mirror?

Because I can see myself in you. Hey girl, are you a mirror? Because I can see myself in you. Hey girl, are you a mirror because meeting me was seven years of bad luck. Hey girl, are you a mirror because you are one half of the ownership of HeadGum Network. Oh my God, really good. A mirror, yeah, I like that. All of those work technically, because I can't see myself without you. Oh, okay, that was sweet. Let's take a minute to reflect on that answer.

Wow. Is that fun? Wow. Aaron, you've accidentally given me a category in which I thrive. I know, why do you think I picked this one? I was like, my two dumb, me a category in which I thrive. I know. That's why, why do you think I picked this one? I was like, my two dumb dumb friends are going to love this.

Nathan, if you're out there listening in France or whatever, we think you. We want to give you a big old smooch on the chat up line. Hey, boy, are you food, water, or oxygen? Because I can't live without you. Hey boy, are you food, water, or oxygen? Because if I have a milkshake, all three are going to be racing out of me. Yeah, that's probably it. We'll change it to that one. That's probably it. Food, water, and oxygen just sounds like a earth, wind, and fire. Cover band, doesn't it?

For like, people of science. Go ahead. Are you food, water, and oxygen? Because we can summon captain planet. Mm. Because if you know a monkey with a heart, you got captain planet on the dial. We would, I wouldn't see you seeing.

We would always, because me and my friends when we were, I don't know, 11 or something, we would always because me and my friends when we were I don't know 11 or something We would always make fun of Mati who it was it would be like earth water fire Whatever and then he would be like heart and he had that monkey and at the time it was funny because you're like What are you gonna do with heart as an adult obviously? I realized the hardest the greatest weapon I Unrelated I'm just getting Jema on the phone. Jema?

I don't know where to wait. So I wanna see, I wanna see a scene where the two of you are planeteers who didn't make the cut. So we have Earth, Wind, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart and you two just missed the cut and you're, you're so have commiserating over a drink. Ah. You know what, hey, one of them could die. It's dangerous to someone kept and plan it. They're always, they're always,

they're always at oil spills, one could die and then they ended. Are you just saying that or are you just trying to make me do better? Becca, you would get the call. No, you would poop. Poop, you would. Poop, you would, you're amazing. I'm not, I'm not, I'm, my name is poop. My power is summoning're amazing. I'm not, I'm not.

My name is Poop. My power is summoning breakfast tacos. I'm a mess, okay? You're amazing. Becca, I'm not. I'm not. You are amazing. No.

Everyone needs old t-shirts because you can use it to clean up a spill or you can just wear them. It feels like, you know, because you can wear an old t-shirt. No, old t-shirts are stupid. Like sometimes like if I'm curling my hair, I use an old t-shirt. No, old t-shirts are stupid. Like, sometimes like, if I'm curling my hair, I use an old t-shirt to just like, help with the curls, because it's better than a towel.

But like, that's a tiny bit of people know about that hack. It doesn't even matter. Lots of people know. Some people that even in their apartments have an old t-shirt hanging where a towel should hang just because of that in their bathroom. And they let it go by for months without asking their partner about it.

And when they did, they were like, I was afraid to ask by for months without asking their partner about it. And when they did, they were like, I was afraid to ask why there was this t-shirt in there. Poope, does seems specific to you. Does your partner... Yeah, yeah, thank you Becca, but my name is Poope, and I summon breakfast tacos. I don't have a partner like,

oh, speaking of summoning, welcome. Well, I guess I came to you. My name is Satan, and I'm looking for Nine deadly sins. We're having an expansion Please what is what is your thing? What can you bring to the seven deadly sins to make it nine? Becca this could be an in for us Um, well my whole thing is Summoning old t-shirts usually from like high school productions Okay, go home. Oh, she could pair up with lust and be like

Comrag duty or something. No, no, no, no, yes. You are now comrag. Yes. Oh, man. And what's what's your thing? Well, my name is poop, which I don't love. Um, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm Same thing. Perfect. Next one from Nathan. Hey, baby, are you the cold vacuum of space? Hey, baby, are you the cold vacuum of space because George Clooney died in you? Yeah, I was gonna say because if I was an adult, I'd do that in confidence. And the night was going great before that, okay? Remember when you had sex with George Clooney and he died in you? was going great before that okay remember when you had sex as George Clooney and he died in you Nispresso I thought it was one of those classic George Clooney pranks but no we were having sex and he died in me are you happy it was one fine day before that then I had to take him to the ER wait

I can do a couple more okay nice you don't understand the gravity of the situation a couple more. Okay. Um, you already said um, oh, uh, Don Dust till gone. Okay. That's about one fine day. That's a pretty deep cut. That's pretty good. Yeah. Would you guys say that I'm the George Clooney of the podcast because he's a prankster and I'm kind of a prankster as well. I think you're the George Clooney. I think Aaron's a bread pit, and I think I'm the Don Cheatle. Lucky bastard. Ocean's 11. And okay.

The- I think I'm the Julia Roberts, because I say things like, when George Clooney goes, does he make you laugh? And then I can go, well, he doesn't make me cry. Damn, hey Aaron, can you, can I give you a line and I want you to say it? Yeah, of course.

I've got moves you've never seen. Okay, now you say it. I've got moves you've never seen. Okay, and then can you also say, you work on commission, right? You've made a mistake. Big, huge. You work on commission, right? You've made a mistake.

Big, huge box. Shut to my face. And Aaron, just to prove that I'm the George Clooney of the show, can you go ahead and throw the line at me? Just call me a liar and a thief. Oh, just call me a liar and a thief. I only lied about being a thief. George Clooney, Ocean's 11.

Oh, good. Wow. Good, good, good. He's the George Clooney of the HeyRiddle, Riddle podcast. And also a sex symbol alert. People don't know this, but JPC sold his mezcal company for $1 billion. And I gave all 12 of my friends a million dollars in a briefcase at a dinner and I said, if anyone does it, take it, nobody gets it.

I love that story. It's so fun. Insane. Are you the cold vacuum of space? Yeah. Are you the cold vacuum of space because you can't spell vacuum without gum? Interesting. No, that's not that dirty.

It's cute, that's actually. It's cute. I'm just gonna tell you this one. Okay, please. Because you take my breath away. Take my breath away. Hey man, are you an elevator for toddlers? Because I shouldn't use you if you are.

You should never call a woman an elevator for toddlers? Because I shouldn't use you if you are. You should never call a woman an elevator for toddlers. Oh, cause you're bringing me down? No. What? You know if it ever happened. What do you think of mine? Cause you, Yeah, I don't hit some women by going,

Hey, you're really bumming me out right now. You know, you're an elevator for toddlers? Cause you're really bringing down my kids. So maybe the kids. That many of you have a kid. That's what I say to you. It's actually a huge compliment to call someone an elevator for toddlers. Elevator for toddlers,

because you are down with the kids, because you are down to clown with the kids. Yes. Are you an elevator? Opposite to kids. Are you an elevator for toddlers because I want you to raise my kids. Yes.

Nice. Because I could raise kids with you. Nice one. Nice one, Jason. Well, no, no, no. I could raise kids with you. You're a participant in the elevator. Yeah.

This is a metaphor of getting away. But okay. Hey, are you a dog with, okay. Sorry, I wanna see a scene. Sure. I want, so Aaron, you and I are on a date. I have a young son who will enter the room at some point, and this is sort of my test to see if you are, if this is something that's going to continue.

Thank you so much for cooking the dinner. It was so delicious and so romantic. I hope you like slow roasted ribs. Well, it's amazing. It was truly amazing. I've so enjoyed getting to know you. It's fun. Of course.

I'm a big fan of the Bible in Adam and Eve. You know, Eve was born of Adam's ribs, so I thought to make ribs, because that's like, it's just, it feels like a full circle. If I feel like something, I might say, this might be moving too fast, but I really like you, and I can really see a future with you Oh my gosh, can I bring somebody? Yeah Noah come in Noah come in here. No, um, yeah

This is my roommate. I'm kidding. This is my son Noah come in here, buddy. Hi. I'm Noah. It's nice to meet you I tip my hat Hey, what the fuck he tipped his hat to you say hi? No, I did I do it wrong. No, no, no, you're perfect. No, you're perfect in every way Kiss my son's hand. What is that? What is that? That's my son. I'm no I didn't even the boat after me Daddy does she need water. It looks sticky. I'll get you some water, ma'am be right back What the hell was that thing? Sun is that a no that's my son Noah. What are you doing? No, I've never seen a kid before that was a kid. Yeah, they look like small people

They look like people who are not yet grown-ups. That's insane All right, hey, don't ask you something hold on hold on second. No, hey lady. Yeah, I ask you something Are you an out of are you an elevator because you're out of service? You're at a sorry. Are you are you an elevator right now? Because what you just did was out of order. That's a better one daddy. Daddy. I'm having trouble with the water Do you think that you could go get the water? I'll keep our guest company. Yes. Of course sweetie here I'll get the water you stay here. Thank you daddy Okay, so you know that I'm a rat, right?

You look like a rat. What the fuck? Yeah, well he does it. No, okay, and I got it good. I'm looking at that wearing overalls. These are Oscar's baggages. He's a good overalls. And I got it on an easy street. I'm telling him. I'm telling him. You're grown up rat. Okay, someone's got some water for you. Oh, thank you, daddy. Thank you. Are you? You're grown up right? Okay, someone's got some water for you. Oh, thank you daddy. Thank you. Are you H2O?

He's a rat. You told me he's a rat pretending to be a kid while you left the room. What? What? That doesn't make sense. Daddy, I don't know what she's talking about. She said that she voted for Trump in 2016. Oh, I didn't know.

I didn't know. Oh, no. You can't come back from that. Don't lie. I don't know what's worse pretending to be a rat or no, it's Trump. Is the Trump thing you leave? You see that? I see that.

One's a rat and one, okay, leave. Yeah, leave, go down. What if someone was all of a sudden surprised that we hate Trump on this? I mean, we got... I would have pegged them for three out of touch conservatives. We've got reviews of people like, just shut up and do the riddles. What movies or stories can we replace a rat with a Trump supporter? Ninja Turtles, the Turtles are trained by a Trump supporter.

That makes sense because they don't have any future plan. They're wildly responsible. They just see pizza. I don't want to insult Ratatouille like this, but Trump supporters pulling each other's hair to make each other do stuff. Oh, yeah. God, I'd love to pull his hair.

I can't lose any of the hundreds of things. I'd love to meet him, shake his head, and pull his hair and run at this. This is my good. Just get gunned down by secret service bullets. I know that you have been, you have watched it, but you were talking a few weeks ago about, oh my God, I just had the massive brain for the vampire show, the vampire show. What we do in shadows.

What we do in shadows, yes. Mariah and I are just now watching what we do in shadows. And without spoiling anything, there is a rat king moment in what we do in shadows that like that show is so funny and light-hearted when they did like a thing where there's like Just a big pile of rats. I was like oh god like it was so That that show is great about doing like things on it that are like very like

Jarringly scary for such a funny fucking show. Yeah, the production is like a legit horror film or something But it's yeah, it's mostly comedy. Aaron, his with that next chat up line. The next chat up line is, Hey, are you a dog with a full bladder? Yes, because I want to take a big bite out of you. What? What?

What folks do? At all, JBC is being weird again. He loves pee, at all. JBC, you know what you have to do you have to sing an apology I'm sorry for being me Are you a dog with a full bladder because I'd love to go on a walk with you. Oh, that's pretty good Are you a dog with a full bladder because you're pissing me off? Are you a dog with a full bladder? Cuz I mostly got it. I don't't wanna hear where you have to say it.

Oh, you're a dog with a full bladder because you, I like the water. Oh, I got it. Are you a dog with a full bladder because to me, you're an eight. You never wanna go too high. You don't wanna say that they're a 10. You have to neg, yeah.

Yeah, you have to neg. You have to drop it out a little bit. You're an eight. You're a new dog with a full bladder because the brummin pinch you, no. No, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, you have to dig you have to chop it out a little bit. You're an eight. You're a new dog with a full blinder because Dabberman pinch you know, no, I don't know It is I'd like to take you out Oh, all right, I think I have it. Are you a dog with a full blinder cuz piss Chihuahua

Yep, you know, it's a yep yep yep yep. Hey, hey boy, are you a well-crafted ruse? Because you tricked me? Are you a well-crafted ruse? Rub-goldberg, nice to meet you. Oh, I want to see a scene, a JBC Year Rub-goldberg, and you are proposing to your girlfriend who is going to be played by Adel.

And you're doing it in some elaborate way. Hmm. What are you doing here? I told you we can't see each other. Ah, but can you see someone who's completely invisible? Swoosh. What? You just put a blanket over your head.

Rube, I told you. I love you. I wish we could be together, but I just feel like you're not ready to make a commitment. No, no, no, I am. I am. I promise this time I'm ready to make a commitment. And, you know, the invisibility cloak is just the preludes to the commitment kiss. You know, you can still get pregnant from preludes. This is why I want to marry you. Oh, baby. Come back to bed. I'm so sorry. This is why I want to marry you. Oh baby, come back to bed.

I'm so sorry, this is Sheila. Sheila, wait in the car. We sleep in the car. Honey, I thought if you're going to propose to her, I think you should say, do you do the Rube Goldberg machine? Like hit a domino, then I'll hit a fan, then I'll spin around, and then you'll go down. We'll get in my car, okay? That's my Rube Goldberg machine.

Well, your fame is for Rube Goldberg machines. Yeah machine. Yeah, but like saying close that way. Hit it down No, because I'm a pizza joint. Hold on. I'm like Picasso, you know, I'm famous I'll be more famous what I've dead. That's what I'm truly gonna be famous. I have to Google you real quick I am I dead keep doing this conversation. Okay. I can't imagine how I spell my first name So what do you say? No, I saved a door hours ago. Oh, okay, okay, okay, that was fair, that's fair. Can you hear me through the door?

Yeah, the minute you brought in your new sidepiece, I don't want anything to do with you. Sure, can I come in and just get some of my CDs or? Oh, you do have a CD here, if you tell me which one it is, then I'll give it to you. I wanna say it's a Smashouth's Astro Lounge. Alright, here you go, put it in through the aisle. Thank you.

See, Ruben Garrett Lucius Goldberg, known best as Rub Goldberg, was an American cartoonist, sculptor, author, engineer, and inventor. He was born July 4, 1883 in San Francisco, he died December 7th, 1970 in New York City. A day that you're living in for me. Last one, are you ready? Last one, are you ready? That's Pearl Harbor. He died.

Oh my God. Remember when they dropped the bombs and then the bombs exploded and then the snakes came okay. Hey boy, are you a well-crafted ruse? Hey boy, you well-crafted ruse because... I'm falling for you. Oh, I was gonna say like I'm ch- you're ch- I'm chasing something or...

Okay, okay. And this person said that they used these and they got fucked. Yeah, this person got married 11 times. Each time they used one of these. Ever knows, you're on Tinder because you want to get married. This one is, let's see, let me make sure I can say their name. I want to make sure I got permission.

Oh, yeah. Joe Raid Mosher, Meshur. I'm sorry if I'm saying your. Moisha. Joe Raid, Raid Meshur. I'm sorry if I'm saying you're Moisha Joe raid raid my nature they are um At the grill imp on Twitter the underscore grill underscore IMP on Twitter and they wrote some fun riddles for us. Yes, please I thought up some riddles in which a single clue leads to a hint in which two names blended together

Like Julia Rob Boo Radley So So things blended together could be people characters bands movies, etc. I hope y'all enjoy Thank you so much Joe for writing and sending this in is Julia Rob Boo Radley What like that's the that's the type that we can expect. Because I'll say right now, that doesn't work. Well, no, there's- If it was like Julia Rob in Ernie,

yeah, we're talking. That's something. The rest of these are very, very good. I promise. Okay, okay. So, I'm hoping Joe wrote the last one, last. And like, Brain Fry was completely over with the example. Also, I can't stress enough.

Thank you so much. Please send your riddles to HRRFoghazardema.com. We're so sorry for faking out. What the caveat that this will happen. I actually think you will enjoy these. Okay, we will. We will. We'll fight you, tongues.

All right, here we go. This Jurassic World in Parks and Rec star is a host of a podcast about Ritties and Puzzies. Okay. Oh, okay. The classic world in Parks and Rec, okay, so Chris Pratt, Chris Pratt or a Phi? Yep. Oh, Chris Pratt or a Phi.

Pretty good. Okay, okay. You're winning out of Lover, butpc hasn't been won over the Russian leader Was originally released on the beach boys 1963 album surfer girl Okay, um, Vladimir Pukka don't we knows You got the first one right Vladimir? Vladimir Putin sounds No, you might not know the song. I know the song and love it, but maybe, I don't know if it's,

everyone knows the song. Here's the song. What songs do they have? All Beach Boy songs sound exactly the same. So we have surfing USA. Take the tea bird away. We have little, little, little lady from Pasadena. We have little St. Nick.

Little St. Nick. Cocomau. Cocomau. I get around. Not only knows. I get around. What's the one with the Theraman? Ooh. I don't know.

Good vibrations. Mm. It's not one of those. It's not one of those. It's slower. My parents really liked the song. So that's why I got it. Is it Urge Angel?

No, it's in my room. Oh, never mind. Putin, my room. Never heard of it. All right, this artist who featured on Usher's Yeah used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack and sat beneath the trees by the railroad check. Lil John Wayne, Gacy?

Nope. Lil John Wayne, Gacy. Oh, carry his guitar and a gunny sack and sat beneath the trees. Lil John, he cash? Lil Johnny be good. Oh, Carrie's guitar and Genniesack can sap and eat the trees. Little Johnny Cash. Lil Johnny Be Good. Mmm, wait down on Luzzi Anna. Yeah, Johnny Be Good. Damn it.

Uh, this DJ might ask you to turn down for what? DJ calls. So that's so cool. And can sometimes be seen with a dead police horse. Squirrel X girlfriend. Monica, if you're out there, you're a dead police horse. Scrylite's girlfriend. Monica, if you're out there, you're a dead police horse. Little John Patrick on. Mm-hmm.

You got it. This person really likes little John. Um. Yeah, was that the second little John one? Yeah. Uh, this pop culture magazine took a day off school and had a crazy adventure around Chicago. Entertainment weekly, broadrick. I'd say it's a little bit more heightened to the magazine than that, like fashion.

More heightened than entertainment weekly, Erin. Hold on, hold on, we're taking a break. No, I'm sorry, We're taking a break. No, I'm sorry. We're taking a break. We have to take a break. Fuck this. Oh my god.

Don't ever shit on the entertainment weekly. I have been a subscriber for 14 years. I will continue for another 14. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with a pro entertainment weekly cast. Right after this. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, need to have advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform

for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience and so let anything for products to cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto. Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Um, do you have any thing that like is there like a online store? Like it set up on my website to sell products. Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch

and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing, new, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank activity. Well, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for?

I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. Squarespace. Yeah, it's for you. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC.

What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC.

Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever.

Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions

around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also bad so fast. Therap therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license

therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron, a GPC is putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help.

Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the Bye. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him.

But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you

lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clling, Kling, Kling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel. And Rocket money will cancel it for you.

It's that easy. Kling, Kling, Kling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rockets. Stop, stop, stop, no, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money. The website. I love you your rocket money. Clink, clink, clink. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, man.

And they have a hot list, which is like the top 10 things of the week is like books and albums and movies, whatever you might have missed, they also have a grading system. Some great. Adal, it's been three hours. It's been three hours. We find, like, entertainment.

It's great. Great, thank you. Okay, thank you. Okay, thank you. Oh, it's fun. But if I'm being honest, I still like my favorite magazine Entertainment Weeklings, which just rates the hunkiest weeklings in Hollywood. Rick and Rannis still number one.

This pop culture magazine took a day off school and had a crazy adventure around Chicago. You know the second half of this? We know Ferris Bealer. So Ferris, uh, Vanity Ferris Bueller. Yeah. Ferris. Nice. Nice. This evergreen terrace patriarch was famous for singing alongside his wife, Cher. Homer, Simp, Sonny and Cher. Yeah. Sonny Bonnell. And I do think that Sunny Bono is a simp.

So let's put that on the record. Since I've read this, I can't play a song in this show, right? Like 10 seconds of a song. You can, but we'll get the fucking shit suit out of us. Herman. Here's what you can do. Were you gonna sing it or did you want Casey to play it? Oh, I was just gonna play it off my phone.

Okay. You can't do that, but what you can do is you can sing it, but you have to make it a parody, because that's protected by parody law. So whatever you sing, just make it a parody. Or you can play it and I'll play it back to you, because that's protected by parody law, which is law for birds.

All right, ready? Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. I got shoes babe. I got shoes babe. I got shoes babe. Aaron those are the real lyrics. That's been in my head. So okay. Okay so we'll be playing all the parts.

Addle so that's a parody of the Sunny and Share classic I got you babe. We're each going to take a crack at another parody of that sunny and shared classic I got you babe great mine is gonna be Bumper Bumper I love broccoli rape Bumper Bumper even though it's broccoli Rob okay this one is Bumper Bumper I got shoes Gabe. This is a woman telling her husband Gabe that she bought him shoes for his birthday perfect perfect Aaron, you want to do one? I already did one in a JPC stole one of my words. Let's see. I got one.

Here I got one. Okay, I got one. I got one. I got one. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. I got flu day. I got flu day. That's what I'm telling her Brother Dave that she has the flu of course we always call our siblings when we're sick. I have one

uh, bum bum bum bum bum please hit snooze Craig Please hit snooze Craig. That's a man sleeping next to his brother of course Craig and he wants to go back to sleep because he alarm enough. I've got one. Bum bum bum bum. Let's eat at stew cave. That is a commercial for a restaurant called stew cave which is just different stews and like a kind of the cave stuff. I think that that's the best. Okay, that's it there.

That's it there. That wins. If you've got a sunny and share, I got you, baby, parody that you want to share with us. Go ahead and tweet or get out our Instagram hashtag, Share with us. Sunny and Share it. No, yeah, okay. I was going to say share with us, but C-H-E-R. Yeah, it is C-H-E-R, but it's share with us or Sunny and Share it, whatever you want to do. If you do share with us, it is C-H. If you do Sunny and Share it, it's S-H. Oh my god, that's complicated.

Use both. This wealthy uncle of Donald ran for 11 seasons, featuring a family making water fowl hunting equipment. Scrooge McDuck Dynasty. Yeah, you got it. Oh, wow. That's a good one, right? That might be my favorite.

I've never seen Duck Dynasty, but I know it's a thing It's cultural it's a point This 1957 film about POWs in World War II Japan. It's a small Forward for the LA Clippers Who was the first part? Jesus. I don't know either one of this this 1957 film about POWs in World War II Japan. Oh Bridge over you bridge over the river Kauai Leonard. Yeah, you got it. That one's so good, I think. Damn, look at Dr. Baskinol's

over there. Here's my thing. Here's my thing is anytime I watch the Clippers and Kauai Leonard is incredible. He's won two championships, but anytime I watch any Clippers games now, I always say, Kauai Leonard. It's very satisfying. I was very familiar with him. And then because of that question, I looked up at you two montage of him playing. And I was like, oh shit, this guy's good at basketball. Of course, because he's professional and very famous.

But it was cool. Can I see a scene? I want to see a scene. So, hirking back to Scrooge McDuck scene? I want to see a scene. So, herking back to Scrooge McDuck Dynasty. I want to see a scene. JPC, you are a wealthy sort of billionaire adventurer and of the old school variety. And Aaron, you are someone who's been paid

to dress up like a duck so he can hunt you. And you're having this sort of culmination where he's pulled a gun and you're trying to tuck your way out of it All right, so you dastardly duck. I've got you right where I want to Clack, clack can I have my money now? Come on come on. Yes, you're gonna get you money But Hey look can we stop we pause we time out? Okay fine. I'm paying you a million bucks.

I know, but I'm, You're the smack of the rules. I know, but I'm likely gonna die and I went to Juilliard for three years. I'm a Shakespeare-based actress. I'm amazing. I played a Yago in Athello as a woman and now I'm playing a duck to be hunted.

How much would you make on Broadway? Playing a Yago in Athello as a woman. How much would you make? Three and a 50, in a fellow as a woman? How much would you make three to fifty a week? I felt like a thousand bucks a week and when she said she put is she's a duck waiting to be hunted We do see a little dog that pops up and covers its mouth and giggles and then it goes back down If you're gonna shoot me just shoot me, but like I just don't have to like run and pretend to be a dog my dear my dear I am sorry when she says if you're gonna shoot me just me, we do see a little David Spade pops up, covers his mouth and giggles, and then drops back down.

Sorry. Get out of here, you little rat. My dear, my dear, I am an eccentric billionaire, okay? If I wanted to shoot you, I would just shoot you. This is a sex thing for me. I need you to play your part. I need you to play, ask. You were being paid a million dollars

Billionaires are moral clack clack You actually didn't work for your money. You're stealing from the middle class clack clack. No first of all There is no middle class. That's an illusion that we feel it is put on Everyone's working class. Just know what wants to admit it now play your part or you can kiss that million dollars Goodbye. I'll give it to my dog David Spade and see what he does Bye, why would I kill you when I could kill Rob Schneider a million others? It's not a you can do that I

Can do it all night long Rob Schneider seen Sorry for ruining the sea Bob Steiner. Scene. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha God, I'd love to be inside of this skin. If you ever wrong me, all I'm going to say forever is that JPC loves billionaires. If you become my enemy, you'd be like, JPC actually loves billionaires. Yeah, you know what? And if you say JPC loves billionaires, I'll pop up and say, get you a can of barbecue sauce and you'll love billionaires too, baby. All right. Okay. Uh, all right, okay. Uh, this band, band, formerly headed by Tom DeLong, stars cat dennings and bath bears

as Brooklyn waitresses. Mark Hoppus broke girls. Oh. What? Oh, Adelmo. That has to be it. There's no other answer. Mark Hoppus broke girls.

Girls. Because it's not going to be Travis Bark girls. Travis Bark girls. Tom DeLong Wait, it is Tom DeLong. Yeah, no, he's the beginning part of that angels and air waves broke girls No, say it again air and say it again. It's blink when a two broke girls. Yeah, this band formally headed by Tom DeLong Stars cat deadings and Beth Bears as Brooklyn waitresses. Did you know that there's still people out there today figuring out that the album take off your take off your pants and jacket is a sex pun?

I've only ever seen it spoken and so I still don't know that it's a sex pun. Oh the small things. I still don't know that it's a sex pun. Oh, the small things. I like how they were naked in that video. She left me roses by the stairs. Surprise is let me know she cares. I think the most iconic line in that song is work sucks. I know.

Oh, so good. When live band karaoke still existed at IO, which was always my favorite moments of every year. Did you guys ever go to that? No. It was so fun. It was actually after World News on Saturday nights at midnight. Oh, I know.

You knew about it. You just didn't want to participate? Yeah. No. After I do improv for three and a half hours, the last thing I wanted to do is be around a bunch of drunk people singing live band karaoke. Well, it was amazing. But Tim Lines are always participated and he was amazing.

But the one time I sang, I did all the small things with Laurel Zoffelten. And it was so fun. Because it's amazing musicians who also happen to be great improvisers playing music. I saw them live because I was dating maybe 2005. I was dating a song. You were dating 2005? Uh-huh. The year that year was so hot. Thank you. I was dating up, but I was dating someone who's super into blinkway to so we went and saw them live in Milwaukee and during the show Travis Barker had a drum set that got lifted up into the air and then spun and he kept playing the drums while spinning Suspended like 80 feet in the air. And that's cool.

I'm not a huge blink when I ate two fan, but I did have to stop and be like, this is fucking great. Like this is what a live show should be. It was very cool. I'm going to do one more of these, I think. Are we ready? Yes. I'm ready. Dev Patel stars in this 2008 film about the Indian version of a popular game show, which will eat the pen and or no, eat the paper and drink the pen.

Slum, dog, millionaire and key. Yeah. Jai Ho. We did it. Jai Ho. Aaron, don't say that about yourself. No, I'm just saying that that's the name of the song at the end of Slum, dog, man. Oh, that's what we were saying too.

You're in a song. You dummy. How is such a ridiculous term? She's a hoe. Can I share it? So here's a question I have. Is hoe short for whore? Or is that not a thing?

Cause I'm growing up. And do we look like fucking Google to you? That's so funny. Growing up when people would use the word ho, I was like, I don't know what a ho is, but is it short for horror, but horror starts wh. I'll look it up.

Adal, I'm sure it is. I'm sure that is, I'm sure ho is synonymous with. But also I feel like, and I need to get into a weird conversation. I just, no, no, no, no, no. I think language, also, I feel like, and I need to give it to you. It's just a weird conversation. I just, no, no, no, no, I think language, especially like language in like, oh, you're right, bud. Music culture is so often like,

co-opted and adopted that I feel like now, maybe nowadays, it's not even, it doesn't even register to me as the same word. Yeah, it is, it's weirdly become, I don't wanna to say palatable because it's not, but it's weirdly like, if someone's like, oh, you, you ho, it's like, uh-oh, you got them. But if you call someone a whore, like, that would be a needle off the record moment of like, what the fuck? Like, that's awful. Like, other terms came out like, thought, and that has, that stands for that ho over there,

which also like, co-opted, it's just like, this stuff moves way faster than I will ever be able to move, and that's why the viewers are going. But it's interesting to learn about, though, because like the origin of like, putting women in their place is an interesting history to learn about. The word hoe is from the word whore,

starting in the 1960s. Wow, interesting. It's so interesting. What's that, what is it, urban dictionary, right? The word hoe is from the word whore starting in the 1960s What's that what's it what is it urban it's urban dictionary right urban dictionary? Yeah Do you want me to look up ho on urban dictionary? Well, no, I will I know that urban dictionary. I Remember like ha like this is a funny thing like this is a sex thing Let. Let's look it up on Urban Dictionary and then just being completely lost and being like, are these real or do, what do I do? I think you people still, I think Ho was invented in the 1960s.

I think it was maybe 67 by Led Zeppelin when they sang, what a whole lot of love. Yes, that's true. You guys, I have a couple things to say. Okay, please. First of all, I, now i'm i'm a hundred percent sure i'm gonna google all the origins of all the ways we've uh... slut shamed and sex shamed women over the years because this has been fascinating second of

all i looked up ho on urm in dictionary and it says a word santa claus says a word a word s word Santa Claus says three times when he sees your wife, mother, and sister together in her room. That's great. So what if from from now on, can we get some fan art of Santa saying, horror, horror, horror? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I also think that Urban Nationaries have fun website because if you just go down like six entries on something they're like this day is something that you say to Kevin because Kevin's a little fuck for and it's like Who is this for?

Kevin's never gonna read this like what are you talking about? All right, I'm gonna continue on some listener submitted riddles. These are not like these are like one off riddles for the most part and This one is from Autumn. I think we're allowed to say her name. Autumn, Ellen Rose. Just in case, why don't we just call her Fall? Okay, Fall. Well Autumn, these are,

this, the title of this email is a dumb riddle that ended a friendship. So I was like, wow, Adam, I'm clicking on that. Story time. And this is the, and I'm going to read what Adam said at the end of the email, which is sorry, in advance, my friends haven't talked to me since I told them this one. I made it up. So Adam doesn't have friends anymore because they told their friends this rental.

Jesus. Are you ready? Yes. So I just, like, let's do a quick friendship check right now. JBC, are you my friend? Oh, I'd love to talk about this off-air. Uh, is, if that's possible. Oh, so is in trouble.

Oh, shit, I'm not his friend. Adel, are, are you my friend? Yes. Great, you just asked me to be one of your groom his friend. Adel, are you my friend? Yes Great you just asked me to be one of your groomsman. Adel just kicked me so hard under the table Oh my shit wing wing okay, so so far I have a half friend and a friend So let's see if this makes alienates alienates them even further for me. Okay, what has four current? What has four corners yet isn't a square or a rectangle? Yes, four corners, but it's not a square rectangle. So corners Is it a city block? No, it's not the United States, but you're sort of on the right track. Oh, it's a mortuary. Yeah, owned by four brothers. No, four corners. I want to see

commercial. Uh, Adolf and Aaron, this is a commercial for four brothers mortuary. Hey, come on down to the four brothers mortuary to a vester's still alive and two of us are ghosts. Do you know someone who, do you know someone who is dead or dying? Then come on down to my coroner office and tell me all about it. My sister, she does the involving and I do the fitting. Yeah, and we take people who are almost to death, so if someone is on their way out, bring them down. That's I have unfinished business, but your business will be finished.

If you come into four brothers more to... And he's not even a ghost one. What? See. All right. What has four corners yet isn't a square or a rectangle? And JPC is the closest so far. What did JPC say? A bed?

A country, the United States. Is it like about borders? Is there borders? Oh, the four corners is a spot in the US. It's where Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and... I want to see a scene. Okay. JPC, you are a couple with Adel and you have driven 20 hours to get in the four corners

and you're standing in all the states and you're sort of being insufferable and annoying about it. Come on, I just... Huh? No, I just want to go. Jeremy, come on, let's go. What did I say? I said, water can only be in three states, but I can be in fucking four

That doesn't make sense watering three states what the fuck are you talking about? We live in Minneapolis ice water Hold on. Oh shit. You're gonna. Don't summon him. Don't summon him Come rags and oh Breakfast tacos Oh, breakfast tacos. Oh, come on. Ah, this shit never works anyway. Captain Pleiades of fake.

I'm here, I'm Comraggs. I used to just be T-shirts, but... I'm contractually obligated to tell you my name is Poop. Sorry, is Comragg short for something? Is that like for short for Christina Rags or...? No, no. Um, in Urban Dictionary,'t even find come rags. No, no Why are you looking it up? Are we sure for something? Oh, what is it for what?

Poop around a poop to bill can't like poop to bill those are all better seen That was a scene that made the least amount of sense we've ever done So put that in the hall of thing and that's saying something. I'm just gonna tell you the answer to this. Okay, the earth the earth It's the earth the earth the earth or corners of the earth What are they what you know how you like the saying the four corners of the earth? No? Four corners of a map no the earth does this person think that the earth is flat is this a flat earth? Yeah, it's a flat earth earth. Why do we keep getting these flat earthers listening to the show? What is it about our insanity that attracts these flat earthers? Oh

Welcome to flat earth remember in Independence Day when Will Smith says that welcome Mrs Welcome to this flat out. Please let Will Smith go and take that back again. No, or the corners of the earth is an expression that appeared in the Bible. It's a saying. It just appeared in the Bible. Like you have to. Who put it there? Oh, weasers.

Oh, weasers. I'm sorry, I take it as a task. It didn't just appear in the Bible. The Bible was written by people. It was reinterpreted by an English king and accorded Sue of his whims. It's before it. It's before it there. It's before they realized that the earth was round and it's like I would go to

the four corners of the earth to find her. It's a saying. The four corners of the earth. Mexico. You think they'll ever meet someone who will go to the four corners of the earth for me? Aaron, I think you'll meet someone who'll go to the corner store for you. That's good enough for me. Aaron, I think you'll meet someone who'll go to the corner store for you. That's good enough for me. He won't go to the four corners of the earth, but it

goes to the corner store again, milking eggs. But I'm here in geese and I should have smoked. Well, that's me in two months. I'm going to go buy back a cigarettes right after we record this. All right, this one is from a person. I'm just gonna call them M So they are validated that we use that name, but they don't want us to use third or full name At what time of day did the man get hit on by the person collecting tolls? What point did the man get hit on by the person? What time of day? I want to say noon. No, no, nope by the person who called it. What time of day? I want to say noon. 10 to?

Nope. Hit on. So hit on would be like, what's the day? Oh, a, a day. A day to you. A day to you, sir. J.B.C. is my friend. He's my friend.

He's my friend. We're friends. Calling it. I'm calling it now. J.B.C. and I are going to be friends. When? I'm of it now. JBC and I are gonna be friends. I love the confidence. When we go on a date's day. So there's gotta be like, it's not like one, two, three.

I don't think it's something like that. I think it's gotta be some sort of like midday or a week. It's like a play on board. It sounds like something. What is it? It's a day of the week. I would say it's similar to the tooth herty joke

Got it. So that's a specific time though. What does it have to do with with the toll? I think that's gonna be where does a person who Booth 30 Booth Flirty yes, yes, and then they say I'm so sorry Do you want to know some fucking history? That joke is what got Abraham Lincoln killed. He goes, oh, what time is it? Booth Flirty and he went and got his gun and came back. Sixth Scympr turret as you dumb mother fucker.

What did dinosaurs have to do with anything? Blame. Are we ready? Yes. I came, uh, JPC, you know your history. I know, I played the final countdown, which was what, are we played in my high school before the final bell would ring? Incredible.

Sick, sick, tempered, tyrannis. Um, are we ready? Yes. Uh, let's see if I can say their name. Oh, Stephen. Yes, you can use my name. Okay, hi, Stephen. What's up? Um, hi Stephen. their name. Oh, Stephen. Yes, you can use my name. Okay. Hi, Stephen. What's up? Hi, Stephen. Yes. I'm writer. Keep your name out the mouth.

These are the Stephen says I would like to start by these are not saying these are not great riddles. Okay. That's fine. We start every podcast that way, Stephen So thank you for your all right. I'm gonna do these really quick ready Sure what's blue and looks like a bucket bucket a bucket Mm-hmm. Yeah a blue bucket. Yep. What's green and looks like a bucket green bucket No, that's alligator's mouth. No Helmet Nope, what's green and looks like a bucket?

helmet. Nope. What's green and looks like a bucket? Green and looks like a blue bucket painted with orange paint. Basically a blue bucket in disguise. What do you mean orange paint? Blue and orange paint green. Oh my god. You guys I've been saying it for the entire history of this podcast We need to get Adel back to get back to kindergarten. He doesn't understand magnets. He can't sing songs. He doesn't understand colors. I'm wearing an ICP song. Fucking rainbows. How did they work? All right, last one. What's green and has wheels? The Ninja Turtles van. What's green and machines. Oh, it's green hornet, because he has a car. What's greenin' has wheels? Wheels.

The Hulk, the Hulk on roller skates. What is there a green cheese that comes in a wheel? Nope, that would be clever. This answer is grass. I was kidding about the wheels. These were the riddles I came up with, slash found when I was in elementary school. I love the pod.

I've been listening since episode three or four. Stay awesome and keep up the good work, Stephen. Thank you, Stephen. Stephen, you get a pass. Because you're cool. Enjoy the rest of your day, buddy. Stephen, you get a whole pass. Thank you, Stephen.

Because that was all in good fun. Uh-huh. Yeah, KC-E, you get a whole pass. Because I hauling good fun Hey, Casey at all pass cuz I Owen Wilson you my life wow Casey ad noises of me smashing glass Okay, I say I'm okay with that, but those were some rough jokes. Okay, here we go We're gonna Yeah, are we gonna rim skimp? Are we gonna ramp skimp? Okay, I think we have read this person's riddles on the show before. I'm not usually a double-dipper, but help me.

Oh, we're not rereading their riddles. They sent in more riddles. They sent in more riddles. Got it, got it, got it. And I've seen you, I'm fucking Aaron, I've seen you at a veggie tray and you absolutely doubled it. I eat too fast. You wanna talk about that? It was your fingers, it wasn't even carrot.

Aaron, by the way, just, I don't wanna call you out, but I've seen your ass, you're made of a bunch of stars and I've seen you up in the sky and I can tell you, for sure, you're a double-dipper. Oh, you did it. So Aaron, real quick, is this true? You eat too fast? No, I think I'm an unpleasant person to watch.

You eat. Because I think I'm not a cute eater. I inhale food because I grew up around people who eat really fast. And so I don't want to ever be the one holding people up. So I'm like... You grew up in prison, right? Yeah, but it is, yeah, it's not great. But speaking of dips, if anyone has any like trader Joe's dips that are delicious, I've been trying to buy a different one every time I go. So I recently tweeted me your Instagram me about it. Hell yeah. I recently got on that JPC tip where he let me know that him

and Mariah like to take some French bread, he just made a unicorn symbol and I don't know what that is. That's on JPC's tip. Oh okay. Yeah, a unicorn. Take some French bread and put it in the toaster oven and then put ricotta cheese on it, balsamic vinegar and honey. And it's school.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, baby, I like the bread. I love the outside of the finger. I like the bread. I put it on everything. It's so good. I've had that for breakfast the last like five days. For breakfast. I call it breakfast bread or treat bread. Well, both.

Treating yourself in the morning incredible. Sometimes I'll have treat bread for breakfast, but who cares? You guys call it treat lambs. I've been making filet mignon. I made it twice now. Okay, now Aaron, you say F-L-A-M-I-N-A-Positive-E. Yeah.

Flamen yarn, you're poor to steak. Flamen yarn. I'm poor to steak, flamen yarn. I yonged and it's on fire. I've never bought it before, because I was like, I don't have the skills to make something that's this expensive. But I was like, I'm going to buy it,

and I'm gonna figure out a way to make it great And I did it and it was so good. I don't have the skills to cook something on five on each side for five minutes That's not it. You have to base it and you have to put it You have to cook it in the pan. You also have to put pants on. It's one of the hard things to cook You have to base it. What do you call John Antwistle? boom Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do These are like cool down, Vettles, because it's the end of the show. And hold on, Aaron, I don't want to blow this first in his cover, because they didn't want their full name said, but we should recognize that KM of course is Casey Musgraves.

Now, about six or seven episodes ago, we talked about Casey Musgraves. We talked about how we'd love to have her on the show. She's obviously heard our podcast because it's a worldwide phenomenon, and now she's secretly writing it, and she doesn't want us to blow her cover. So just know that we are talking to Casey Muscreas.

We also talked about buying the nicks and that has been very slow moving. Are you ready? Casey was going to buy them for us. Yes, continue. Yeah, Casey, can you use your money to buy us the nicks and then give it to us as a gift? Thank you, Casey. Thank you, easy. A man is locked in the basement of an old house.

The door is too sturdy for him to break. When he looks through the keyhole, he can tell that whoever locked him in the basement of an old house. The door is too sturdy for him to break. When he looks through the keyhole, he can tell that whoever locked him in the basement has left the key in the door, although it is out of reach. He searches for something to help him escape, and finds only a stack of saline deon posters. The basement is well lit, so he knows he hasn't overlooked anything. In a few minutes, he unlocks the door and escapes to freedom. How? Um, okay. So what he does, he would just near far,

rips his chest out of the door. Hey, rips his heart out of his chest and his heart will go on while he stays in the room. The heart gets on the other side of the door, unlocks it for him. Steps out, he puts his heart back in his chest. Near. Is that right? No. Hey, did anybody ever notice how Celine Dion just sings Grover's song? Near far.

Nice. Near far. Wherever you are. I'm assuming these Celine Dion posters are critical to figuring this out. No, it doesn't matter that it's Celine Dion. Oh. It just matters to poster. Sean and I, and the early parts of us dating, had a night where we went back and forth, showing each other songs that made us cry.

And one of his songs was All Holy Night by Celine Dion. That's awesome. And at the end where she like, ops up at the, oh night, oh night. He, I looked over at him and he was sobbing. I was like, oh boy. Does, does he push the poster under the door, then push the key out of the lock onto the poster, then pull it back under the door? Oh.

Hold on, I have an answer to you and then we'll see who's. You're amazing. That's correct. Hold on. It's not that impressive. It's not that impressive I do have to say I've been locked in many old basements and I've gotten out every time I was assuming that he put up all the posters and then every night during thunderstorms He would carve out a hole behind the wall till one day he crawled through the Shit the length of a ten football field and then the warden grabbed the poster and ripped it down there's a hole yep that's definitely an acceptable answer as well

great next one yes alright we're gonna move quickly because i want to get all three in a group of children are screaming for their mother in a cul-de-sac they live in in annoyed neighbor calls the local authorities who lock the children up without being bothered to locate their mother why the children up without being bothered to locate their mother. Why? The children are not, yeah, the dogs are not humans, they're raccoons.

Yeah, the children are kittens. And the authorities are animal control, also acceptable. Cops are bastards. Someone's a fan of the show. If you want to call the cops on kittens, beowing, they suck. Well, trust me, they're out there. Those people exist. Are you ready?

Yes. People will come on anyone, you suck. Two waiters are working at a high society New Year's Eve party. The first waiter, that's the second that he can find out the cost of a specific guest's shoes without asking him. The second waiter takes the bet, and the first waiter walks to the guest's room to refill their drink.

Before he says anything, the guest tells us the waiter, the price of the shoes. Why? I love this riddle. Because he spills the water on the shoes, and he goes, hey, asshole, these are $800 shoes. Wow, that's right. You're the asshole! That's how you know what it is.

Mm-hmm. Dude, it's like the riddle of like, how do you get your, if you need a whole thing? I killed my dad and then I meet another, I killed my mom later. That was the test, Adel, you're the asshole. You've yelled at so many waiters, I'm sure. Yeah, do you know?

I, here's the thing like Gemma Gemma's annoyed with me because if we go out to eat and even if they bring me the wrong entree I'll just eat it and she's like say something. I'm like I don't I don't want to bother anyone And she's like I can't think of anyone who wouldn't she's like you're not being rude if you got the wrong entree I'm like I just let me eat this please You're eating a bunch of spiders on a plate and you're like I just they work really hard you tip them 40% This is this is what I deserve. I'm so sorry Adil gets water spilled into shoes And he's like hey asshole. These are air walks that I got into the state sale

Speaking of things that we could get at in a state Should have a drink in water Erick, do you have anything besides your nose that you would like to plug that's It burns so much I would like to plug in a state scale a state sale that I plan on going to to buy Sneakers no honestly, I think that my thing in my 30s But in an entire next decade of my life is going to be me going to estate sales. That's my plan.

Also, you can follow me on Instagram and on Twitter to follow my journey of making a living out of going to a estate sales. Adel. Just because we're saying the word estate, please check out the game show, a state of panic. It was like a 2008 or something, game show. It's so weird and wonderful.

Check that out. It's like a big mansion. You had to find money hidden all over the house as State of Panic. Also, I was just recently, I guess, on the hypotheticast, hypotheticast, where we answer hypothetical questions. It was a wonderful time.

Please check out my episode and all the other episodes. And I also want to give a plug to a podcast I've been enjoying a ton, which is Bill Buds starring her own JPP. Hey, thank you so much. Since we're talking about Estates, you have to check out one of my favorite sketch comedy groups of all time, a ton of people from Reno911, you will recognize that is the 1993 sketch series. I believe it's at JPSoFly. Yeah, that's pretty much it. One more thing to say, if you want to send us riddles, I love doing listener-submitted riddles because they're so original and fun and interesting.

Please send them to hrrpodcast.gmail.com. And you can also pay homage to the people who have written these specific kinds of riddles and write riddles in the style that they did. So if you want to do this like pick up line riddles, please send those or those like name combined riddles. Anything goes, please send us your riddles. Oh, only limit is your imagination dear boy. Thank you, Willy Wonka. Aaron, I do have, this is funny. I was looking up on urban dictionary, urban dictionary, sorry. And do you know the term, have you heard Thank you, Willy Wonka. Aaron, I do have, this is funny. I was looking up on Urban Dictionary.

Urban Dictionary, sorry. And do you know the term, have you heard something called a tur? No. So if someone accidentally spells water on your shoes, you might say knock it off, you tur, like what are you doing, tur? And tur, it turns out, I don't know if this true or not,

but it turns out on Urban Dictionary, it says tur is short for. Jupiter? Let's not disrespect a planet. Bye, forever. We don't know what it's capable of. We don't know what it's capable of. I honestly could follow us.

I don't know. Patrick Cullen. Casey Dominguez, the editing. Have any parents in the mid-fifth floor? Foco created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naboris. Hey, if you enjoyed that, we think you might enjoy our Patreon episode that comes out this Friday. It is the thrilling conclusion of our 1980s high school mystery. I had so so much fun recording this with the guys. It is an absolute blast. There's

a new Arnie Parrott theme and Casey Tony absolutely kills it on the editing. We really enjoyed doing it. So if you're interested in listening to that go to patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle and join our clue crew which is $5 a month or our review crew which is $5 a month or our review crew which is $8 a month and you get two hours of extra bonus content. Thank you so much for listening. Please check out the 1980s arc. It is so fun and I'm very, very, very, very, very proud of it and it's so good and fun. I hope you have a great week! That was a HitGum podcast.

That was a headgun podcast.