Hey Riddle Riddle - #115: Bug! with Mary Holland

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

Give me an H! Give me an R! ...uh I guess two R's actually?! What does that spell?! A GOOD TIME! We do our Riddle routine with the most popular girl in school, Mary Holland (Wild Horses, Comedy Bang Bang, the upcoming movie Happiest Season)! In this episode we strike a chord with our music teachers, meet a cursed neighbor, audition to be villains, call out great white sharks for what they really are and march on main with a new Animal Parade! Tattoo your chest as a reminder, it's Hey Riddle Riddle!! #WiddleWednesdayBuy tickets to see us live on 10/13 at 8pm Central here: buy tickets!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Cool. Okay, so we go. So an improv, we call that a pattern game.

And it's a very pivotal part of an improviser's journey. And marry anything to plug? Oh, wow. Yeah. Riddles are easier than you thought. Yeah, I didn't even know I was in it. So cool! This is like Michael Douglas and Sean Pitt in the game. Here we go! I have enough of your money You have to move the money Get the money

Ready? Ready? Ready? Ready? Ready? Ready? Ready? When I say riddles, you say puzz

Riddles Puzz When I say riddles, you say pus, riddles. Puzz, riddles. Puzz. When I say riddles, you say solvum, riddles. Solvum. I'm not doing anymore. I thought there was a verbal contract. Come on.

To do riddles and pus, no, I'm not doing anymore. Puzz. I bought us all these cheerleader outfits, these pom-poms, and you're not gonna do it. This is expensive for, because it's an audio podcast. And it feels like it's expensive for what it is, which is a joke just for us. And why is Aaron and your cheerleader outfit for one school and mine's for a different school?

I feel like, do you want me to be a rival? I feel like that's the role that I was playing. Did you not see, bring it on? This is Hey, Ritter Rittle. I'm Addle Rify. I'm JPC and I'm Erin Keave. And we are doing Riddies and Puzzies for all you kevons and Susie's and and Kusies and Sevens. And we have a very special guest that will get to right away.

No need to diddle that all. You might know her from her podcast Wild Horses. You might know her from County Bang Bang Horses. You might know her from Comedy Bang Bang. She is a scene stealer in shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Good Place. You are just in one of my favorite shows of the year, Harley Quinn, as a voice, whereas like, oh, is that Mary Holland? Please welcome to the show. And she's also in one of my top three favorite, hello from the Magic Tavern episodes of all time.

It's Mary Holland. Hello. Woo. Hi,'s Mary Holland. Hello. Hi Mary. I know you'll be here. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting.

This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting.

This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. And I just go, it's Mary Hall. And like I was watching Crazy X Girlfriend and you pop up like every single show I watch, you appear in. So congratulations on a career that's spanned every single network and TV show. Thank you so much. You know, bribery goes a long way. And very, this is a big moment for me

because I saw you in an improv show maybe like four years ago and then you were next to me at the bar after and I was like I should say something. I should say something and then I didn't. And all that just goes to show you just have to wait four years and then. Oh my gosh, just wait four years and won't meet in another way. And we'll meet in another way. Aaron, what would you have said? I didn't see that see issue as I was like I don't know what I'll say.

A better not because who knows what I'll say You know what I've been in that same situation a thousand times you can never go wrong by just starting to sing some train That's true that would have caught my attention. I would have said wait a minute Drops of jiu-jitsu in her hair yeah I love to see Aaron just like sweating buckets with her hand out going meet Virginia Yeah, that would have gone Virginia. I would have stopped on the train ride home I'm so happy to meet you now. Over Zoom. Yes, this is. This is so much better than a panic scary meeting of when I would have screamed at you.

So this is way better. Mary, we do take it either way. Go ahead, sorry. Mary, we do have to ask all of our guests about their relationship with riddles, lateral thinking problems, puzzles. Were you a fan of those as a child? Did you grow up with those? Are you a fan of those as a child? Did you grow up with those?

Are you a fan of those as an adult? I know specifically as a bit of a leading question, I know you're, I believe a huge fan of escape rooms, which I am as well. So can you just talk about your relationship with riddles? Yes, I have a very intimate relationship with riddles. I would say, I guess I don't really recall them being big in my life as a child, but I remember when I drove from just outside Chicago to LA when I was moving to LA, this was

right after I graduated college, I drove across the country with a friend of mine and guys, we printed a map quest of the route we were going to take. That's how long that will go. My car floor used to be littered with map quests. Yes. So yeah. So I'm with you. God, I'm in that printing map quests. Yeah. Heroine. But one of the, I don't remember which one of us did this, but one of the things we decided we would do is, I can't remember how we came across this, but we found a lot of lateral thinking riddles online somehow and printed a bunch of those. And then it was the time of our lives. One of us reading

this riddle and the other one trying to solve it. We laughed so much. It was just so much fun. And I think that's when the love of riddles really started. Riddles and puzzles. I have to say that story is lovely and I love that it had a positive ending because if I was going to do like a 30 hour road trip with someone and they brought like printed out activities for us to you I would be like oh no oh No, I'm the wrong car. This is the wrong car for me Yeah, yeah, we we really it was a very lucky that we were both But but yeah, but I would say like, I have done well over 100.

I'm probably pushing 200 escape rooms at this point. Whoa. Holy shit. It's a, you know, I can't get enough of it. And LA, we just were, we're writing a escape room hub. Like there's so many rooms here and then so many rooms within driving distance. Been to Vegas, did a bunch of rooms there. I mean, I'm just a real escape head.

Mary, at the beginning of lockdown, I think it was near the beginning of lockdown. Adel and I and some other friends did a online, like a virtual escape room, but it wasn't an escape room. It was like a puzzle activity, because there was no room to it was like a puzzle activity because there was no room to it, but we had to solve a crime

and we had clues online to open things up. Have you done any of those online escape rooms? Yes, yes, have definitely put my feelers out for a lot of those. I've done somewhere the person is in the room and you're Directing them Yeah, there's a really good evil there's a really good evil dead online one in Seattle That's like that where you control some with the camera and you're like what should I do next like I'm scared

Let me out of here. It's real fun. Oh The slippery slope If we start just making that a thing like human sims for each other. I don't know Yeah, it is a slippery slope. Come to think of it, I was on, yeah, I was on only fans, that was a different, that was something else. No, if someone was like, yeah, you control what I do all day, I'd be like, now go make a cup of coffee,

now go do this. Yeah. I would wanna do that all day long. Go back to sleep, sleep in, you deserve it. Honestly, if all, if all, if all, if all, if all only fans was, was like me getting money and like, hey, get out in this room and being like, what should I do with this room today?

Should I try to escape? I would have an only fans tomorrow. Let's all sign up. If we did an only fans for Hey Riddle, where all we did was people could direct us to pour milk on our feet. Would everyone be on board with that? That's too specific.

Okay. She's got it. Yeah? That's too specific. Okay. She's got it. Yeah, it's too specific of a thing. Aaron, it does sound like we have our first customer in Adel. That's so funny. Now, I have to be very honest. Please. What is OnlyFans?

What is that? OnlyFans is a, it's kind of like a revolution in sex work for the pandemic because it allows people, especially because like a lot of, I think a lot of like strip clubs and things like that have closed down. So it's kind of like, you can pay, it's a kind of like Patreon,

I think I don't know if it's exclusively for sex work, or if it's just for, it's kind of is. Yeah, it can be kind of everything. But basically you have people who like subscribe to your channel and then they watch you do whatever it is that you do. Oh hell yeah, I'll pour milk on my feet right now.

Whatever you want. My only barrier to this is I'd have to go buy milk. I haven't had milk in this house. It's like, same. I would hope that they would accept coconut milk. Can you all make milk on my feet? Is that enough for any people? My boyfriend is disgusting and drinks like a gallon of whole milk in two days,

like a little kid. And so, yeah, if anyone needs milk, there's a lot in my house. He's so strong. So listeners, if you want this, please go ahead and tweet at his hashtag, foot milk, and we will get that underway if we get 500 subscribers. Let's go ahead and get into our warm-up, Ridees and Puzzies. Mary, this will help you get an idea of what we're going for in terms of the level of difficulty. I have to let you know that we've been through, this is like episode 115, we've been through a billion riddles. Most of them very bad,

so just be prepared for that. So here's our first one. So this is warm-up, this is warm-up. This is warm-up. So these should be easiest, but typically they're not so I won't even say that We don't even start counting the points yet. So don't even worry about that. There are no points Interesting you guys were the worst hosts of all time working fusion really Addicted each other a lot puts a lot of points out. I don't even know who mentioned points put it out of your head Let's talk about They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. They really are. or retreat. I can stop even if I do not move. To maintain motion, I must be stationary. What am I? I'll read that one more time.

When I move, I may not advance or retreat. I can stop even if I do not move. To maintain motion, I must be stationary. What am I? This feels like it's like a chess piece of some kind. This feels like it's like the piece of a game. It's almost to me listen, I'm wondering is it a spinning top thing? Is it a, is it a, something that when you, when it moves, it can either advance or retreat. Okay. Is it, is it, isianard Caprio's totem in Inception. Is it that specific?

Our listeners can see this, but Mary does have a giant drier esport behind her and she's working out some sort of map. And if I just carry the two and put it over here and add it to the 95 divided by 12. This is way more math than I thought was in the... It's not a top, but that's a very good guess for sure. Is it some sort of... Rub-goldberg machine. It is not, but I do love that accent you do. That's Chicago-Wendy.

What is it? If it stops... Wait, I'm sorry, can I hear the second line? Of course. I can stop even if I do not move. I can stop. Is it like a record player or like, is it music? Oh, is it like something like, you get it.

I'm going to go hit the hay. Wow. Some sort of CD. I can stop even if, so the, if it's all the earth, the earth is always spinning and it's always moving and so it can stop and still be moving. That wasn't what the rail said though. It said something different than that.

What is it? It says, I can stop even if I do not move. Now here's the thing, this wording is fairly confusing. I'm not sure, I can't picture this in my mind's eye in terms of why this wording is how it's worded, but I'll give you a hint. Yeah, I'd love a hint. This item is the pits. When I move, I may not advance or retreat.

I can stop even if I do not move. To maintain motion, I must be stationary. What am I? The item is the pits. Is it like a pit of a fruit? I maintain motion, I must be stationary, what am I? In this hint is that it's the piss. Is it like a pit of a fruit? No. No. This is something that would go with my hint.

Is that a race car? Race cars have pit crews, don't look at me, like I'm some fool from the streets. Quoth the Raven. Quoth the Raven. Quoth the Raven. Another hint. Uh, who else? Edgar Allan Poe.

Yes, Poe-Leb. Oh, Pits. A Pits a pendulum. It's a pendulum. Oh. I want to see a scene. Pendulum makes me think of like a metronome, right? They're kind of pendulous to some degree.

So I want to see a scene. Molly, you are a music teacher. Molly. Molly. It actually, I can tell you how many times that happens. I don't know if Molly's get can get called Mary But I really get called Molly a lot. So do not do it. Don't worry. I'm so sorry Mary. This is so embarrassing. He was calling me Molly I do so much empty of air that I

Called Molly sometimes. Oh, my god. This is so Here's a thing I called Molly sometimes. Oh my god, this is so good. Here's the thing, I do this with you. I'm also friends, I don't know if you know Mary Hollis in Bowdoin. Oh yeah, yeah. But I'm friends with both of you. But anytime I think about saying

either Mary Hollis or Mary Holland, I always can bind them and just say Molly. I don't know what it is in my brain because I also know Mary Winn, and I know several Mary's who go by both They're like they have a compound first name, so I'm just I'm just a mess, but Mary Aaron's sister's name is Molly to my mom's name is Mary and she named her Molly as like a fun Sort of name after her. So this is all very complicated for me as well carry the two

So this is all fair complicated for me as well. Carry the two, you divide 1,000 by 22. How do you keep getting this two? Basically, we just want to ensure that we're talking about it so much that it can't be edited out. You guys, I think Mary just solved the murder. I did. It was me. You can't commit yourself. So Mary, you're going to be a music teacher. Aaron, you are her

prize students and the two of you are going over Aaron, what you're going to be singing or doing for the musical finals, the high school musical finals. Okay, great. Mrs. Miller, I noticed that you signed me up and you're also in that slot with me. Like, you're going to be singing with me. How? Yes. Have any? Yes, yes it is.

We'll be doing that duet. I've pulled a few duets from various appraises. And this is for students. What? Usually, right? Like, this is for students. What? Usually, right? Like, this is for students. Aren't you a student? Right, but aren't you a teacher? I also a student.

You are never not a student of music. That's when I wish to impart to you. The study of music is a lifelong study. And so, I actually am a student That's one thing I wish to impart to you is the study of music is a lifelong study. And so I actually am a student of music. And so I think I found a loophole and we can perform a duet together. Aren't you excited? I mean, I'm just looking to get an A. Mrs. Miller, I, yeah, I always know that everyone.

It's Miss Miller. Hmm, okay, I'm putting the pieces together here. Um, uh, people have seen you crying in your car before school and listening to the album you made 20 years ago. Um, oh, sort of everyone knows. And we have to hear, we have to hear a snippet of that album from 20 years ago, Mary, if you don't mind. And we have to hear a snippet of that album from 20 years ago, Mary, if you don't mind. Oh, yeah, inside of it, love, love is love, and you gotta, when you can't find it, where you gonna go, you gotta go back to where you started, where you started, you gotta go back to where you started.

Hey, excuse me, Miss Miller, and I never do this. I know the studio time is expensive and it's your time and you have already paid, but you do not have to, if you wanna wait or give yourself a moment, we're, I'm, I'm, I'm ready. I'm ready.

I feel like that was a great take. This is why I don't do this. Did you get that on the book? Yeah, and Miss Miller, Miss Miss Miller. In your album, you left all of the back and forth between you and the audio engineer, and it's just like sort of strange. Right.

And like, what are you making fun of? What is music? Do you ask what's music? Yes. What is music but audio? Put two ears. That's a pretty good point. I really need a good grade, so I'm willing to do whatever do it. Do you want a good grade or do you want to win the musical finals of this high school? Which I have organized and put together.

school, which I have organized and put together. Get views on these. All right, next up for musical finals, it is Chelsea Burke with a company met by Miss Miller. This is interesting. Chelsea, Chelsea, whatever you're ready. Okay, Miss Miller, we got this, it's okay. Sorry, Dan, she walked on stage. She didn't run. Sorry, and I never do this. Miss Miller, do you need a moment?

If you do, if you need a moment, I'm happy with you. Okay, Chelsea, whatever you're ready. We're never you're ready. I'm not. I got you babe. I got you babe. I got you babe. I think they're going to be okay. Very good.

I liked the beginning of your original album from 20 years ago was just the entourage theme. He started with, oh yeah. Fantastic. It was popular then. It's popular now. I mean, it's classic, you know, you can't go wrong with it. Let's see one more warm up, Riddle.

Here we go, it's snowing heavily. Boris goes outside to find that there's twice as much snow in his garden as in that of his neighbor, Percival, but he is not surprised. Why not? But he is not surprised. Why not? My guess here, my easy guess is that personal just has like a yard that's like twice as big as Boris's.

JPC Bingo Bingo, hot that tie you nailed it. Wow Boris is not surprised because his garden is twice as large as that of his neighbors. I was going to say it's a curse. Double snow. You know the curse double snow? I hate that. I would like to see a scene at all and JPC you are neighbors and JPC you're sort of trying to cover up that there is a curse that's been put on your yard. Um, and, uh, Mary, feel free to join in if there's any walk on roll. You feel inspired by it. Oh, I will.

Every scene needs a pumpkin salesman. That's right. Hey. Hey, Morning Neighbor. Oh, hey there, Jeff, how's it going? It's good. It's good. it's going well. Hey, sorry about any noise from yesterday.

It's the darnedest thing. Yeah, it sounds like your wind chimes are screaming? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're screaming. Anyway, I apologize about that. We're gonna get those Please help me please help me. I keep getting murdered in this house Yeah, hey, this is the new nanny This is Jessica I

This is Jessica. I know what you're thinking. Whoa. She looks like a ghost-coated blood. She is. Daddy can Jessica come back in and play? We want to play with this. Please don't make me play with this British child. Please. So, that is Elaine. Uh, hey, Rulay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, real quick, Jessica and I are moving. And we just want to give you a heads up. Crazy whether we're having, but yeah, we're moving tomorrow. Just, you're like this isn't a good fit.

Do you suggest that you're moving with her? Oh my god, you're taking me with you? That's great. Oh god. That's a verbal contract. That's a, will you pay? Yes, that's binding. That's binding. Will you That's a will you pay? Yes, that's binding Will you take the British ghost squid with you as well? Please tell me you will see

Screaming the line I keep getting murdered in this house Is you don't need a pumpkin salesman? Absolutely I was gonna come in I was coming in as the pumpkin salesman next. That was my next move. I just have it. I'm sorry, pumpkins. Let's get into some full course riddles here. Okay, here we go.

A man held up a bank on a hot day. He was caught later by the police. On a colder day, he probably would not have been caught. Why? He was robbing an ice bank, baby. Mr. Freeze. That was Mr. Freeze. Was it Mr. Freeze?

It was not Mr. Freeze. This is not a Batman villain. Dang. Dang. Oh, so it's not any Batman villain. What a mistake you've made, Adel. You've given us too much information. All I asked was was it Mr. Freeze?

And then you just gave away the farm for free, my friend. See, Adel, that is so... I can't believe you did that. Rook E-moves. Yeah, seriously. I'm really... I want to see a scene. Nope. No!

I want to see a scene. GPC and Mary, you are two people auditioning to be villains in the city of Gotham. And you're sort of in the waiting room to audition to be a villain. Maybe you're befriending each other, maybe you're psyching each other out, who knows, but you're in the waiting room waiting to audition. Did you get the new sides? Oh, no. Yeah, they said the sides last night. Oh my god.

Check your email. Oh god. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. It went to spam. How does it do that? How does it go to spam? There has to be some way to...

Oh my god. This is awful that this is happening to me because obviously, I'm spam night. So it's, oh my God. Yeah. You know, but me obviously, I'm sorry to be. Oh yeah, no, no. I'm spam night. I throw spam at that man.

Yeah, I think I've heard of you. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's like salted ham. It's like super big and Hawaii because of like the, I wanna say PWs, but that's not what I'd be. That's President salted ham. It's like super big and Hawaii because of like the you know I want to say P.O.W.s But that's not what I mean. That's President War. I mean what is it called with the soldiers go to Hawaii Imperialism colonialism. I don't know. It's anyway, but they brought the spam on spam night Okay, I'm bug

You're bug your bug. I'm bug. yeah, I haven't I have to be honest I haven't totally heard of you spam night, but I'm like I'm sure it's all the same on my tongue remind me what bug work What's your your thing is my thing is bug? Bug yeah, I like People Got it Got it got so it doesn't have anything to do with the one bug. It's just you bug people. It's not. No, I but I am dressed like a bug, but my skill or my power is I'm pretty irritating. I just I asked because it looks like you have a I want to say to house synopeed or a silverfish on your shoulder. So I don't know if that was that is part of it. This is my sidekick.

Frankie on your shoulder. So I thought that was, that is part of that. This is my sidekick. Frankie. Great, mine. I'm so much, by the way. I just killed it in there. Good luck losers. I'm Bane. Yeah, Bane, yes, of course you're all. Yeah, Bane, we know.

We know, great. All right, Tess, man. All right, next up, spam, oh, fuck. You're better. No, no, it's different this next up, spam the, oh, fuck. You're better. No, no, it's different this time. I have a sidekick as well. This is a side of rice. Side of rice, go ahead and introduce yourself.

Okay, it's a side of rice. It's not gonna be fine. See you. One more time, a man held up a bank on a hot day. He was caught later by the police. On a colder day, he probably would not have been caught. Why? Footprints.

When I'm thinking, he says later in the day too, is that, is there shadows? Is that something? It's nothing to do with shadows. I mean, I will say, the answer to this is pretty infuriating. So that's a bit of a hint. It's it because in the winter there's less daylight.

Like, is that, is that it? My man, you're overthinking it. I'm overthinking it. You're overthinking it. You know that like hot air you breathe out in the winter? I guess just breath. You know when your breath looks like smoke and you pretend to be hot. Yeah. Is it that?

Is it that thing? No, this is this is way simpler. So what do you what what takes what do you do on a sweat day? Okay, that's a great answer And it also it actually ties into the to the actual answer On a hot day you would do what versus what versus on a cold day? You wipe your brow. Yeah, you'd pour milk on your feet for sure as well. Did he take off his hat and gloves and leave them behind?

He did not, but it ties into a tire. It does tie into a tire. Did he stay in the bank lobby after he had robbed it because he didn't want to go out into the hot sun and he had those air conditioning in the bank lobby. I've hung out in the chase branch many times because of that same thing. Okay, robbing a bank and staying inside the bank, JBC, you just gave away the plot to inside man.

Oh, damn. Wow. I do love that movie. I do love that movie. I love this movie. I love it. Is it ski mask? It's not ski mask.

So the jacket. It's a ski mask in the summer would be pretty hot. So again, it does have to do with a tire and it's very, this is what, would you say what? Baton suit, it's too hot so you take your baton suit off. But if it was cold, you would leave as baton suit off. I'm gonna say this and I don't wanna be made fun of, but I wanna say money coat, is that something?

Is money coat something? And the winter he would not have been caught, but he was caught in the summer. Correct. So in the winter, he has this, I want to say money coat that you can hide all the money in, and then in the summer, he's got to carry a cabag around. In the summer, he's got a pool with him.

And all the money gets wet. He can with him. Oh, and all the money. The Scrooge McDuck into that motherfucker. That's right. Double the cash in the pool. Splish. I want to know why he's working alone. I have so many questions. Well, I will answer in character as much as you as you questions as you have. Marry in character. You're the guy. Yeah, I'm the guy. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, can I hear what this guy sounds like that will help me get kind of me in the zone? Got a rough as bank. Oh Hi, excuse me. Hi. Yes. Hello. Hi, I was walking down the

Hi, I was walking down the sidewalk and I heard you talk to yourself Mm-hmm, and you said you're gonna rob this bank. Yep. That's right great. I just want to know how and like what's your, do you have other people working with you or are you working alone? It's just me. I'm gonna put a banana, I'm gonna put a banana in my pocket and point it and say hands in the air and hope that nobody calls me on it. What's your getaway plan? What, what, where, excuse me ma'am is this cartoon yes this cartoon dog bothering you this cartoon dog looks like it's being very aggressive and I just want to know if it's bothering you no actually I engage this cartoon dog in conversation so it's but thank you that's nice

my bet it's why I never do this yeah you're right do you notice what I'm wearing? I'm on top. On top? Yeah. Not my head, but the top I'm wearing? Yeah, you have a bow tie top. Mm-hmm. But there's something a little different about my shirt,

because it's summer and not winter. Right, it's a tank top. Bingo, bingo, hot-ta-ta. hotata the man the robber wore a short sleeve shirt and his name was tattooed on his arm That's no his first and last name Um, I would like to see a scene But Aaron real quick I knew a guy when I was in high school that got his social security number tattooed onto his chest and we went to a pool and he took a piece of cardboard and duct tape did over his

chest when we went to that pool. What an idiot. Yeah, he was not a great guy. I would like to see a scene. JPC, you are going to be a tattoo artist who is trying to talk Mary out of getting her name tattooed on her face. Cool. All right. So I'm thinking just right across the forehead is what I'm thinking. Okay. Sure. I can absolutely do that.

And I want it in in comic sands. I want the font to be in comic sands. I want the font to be in comics. Okay Just so you know a tattoo is a big commitment. It's a lifelong commitment. It kind of changes your perception And I find I'm correct. You have no tattoos today. That's what you said I Have no tattoos today, but I'll have one on my forehead. One on your forehead. Cool. This is something that's normal that we tattoo artists do. We just try to get to know the people that we're tattooing. What's going on in your life?

Like what's new? I always love to get to know the person that I'm working with. Yeah, well, my name is Jane Smith. Sure. And I feel like people like always forget my name or like my name. Like I guess I'm just so tired of like constantly just like when I'm meeting someone new. I'm Charlie Brown and I'm like I'm Jane Smith and just feels like well that was a waste of sure seconds. No I just feel like, I'm Jane Smith. It just feels like, well, that was a waste of sure seconds.

No, I just feel like if I could cut, if I could, here's the thing, I'm scared of dying and if I can preserve like some part of my identity by getting a tattoo of my name on my face and then also save time so that I'm not just like, you know, saying my name all the time. Yeah, no, that. What you're saying makes sense to me.

Have you tried anything else or is tattooed your number one first option? Because there are some other options. Like, I got a cousin who knows how to go on Kinko's website and do business cards. That might be an option for you. Then you don't have to say the name anymore. You just hand people the business card.

And, but that feels really silly to me because then I just hand them a card that says Jane Smith and then they're like, what am I gonna do with this card? And now it's just taking up room in their wallet and they may have never gonna see me again. And it just feels like, am I gonna do with this card and now it's just taking up room in their wallet and they may never gonna see me again and it just feels like I'm gonna die. Jane can I be honest with you can I level with you completely? Um okay. I'm the 51 year old man and when I was in that age.

You sick. I'm out in here. No you're. Wow. Clip clop clop clop clop clop slam. Whoa, she just ran right into that horse. Holy shit, she got sideswiped by that horse. Oh, no, that's gruesome.

Oh, I've never seen a horse blow up. Well, there's absolutely no way to identify this body of who this is. I wish for some whatever reason. Wait, wait, I know her. I know her. I was gonna give her a tattoo. Her name is...

What was her name? Ooh. I want to say... Uh, John Smart. And I sit up and I sit up abruptly and I turn to the camera and I say close enough. I love clip-clop, clip-clop. Slam. Pretty good.

Well, close enough, clip-clop, clip-clop, slam. That brings us to a perfect point where we can take a little break and say hello to some of our fine advertisers. So we will see you right after this commercial interruption. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, and I just need some a website to prank him. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Adal. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website

engaged with your audience. And so, let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch

and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my Prank website

for Prank's activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. No, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace.

Yes, with Prank. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com

for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeland JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods isn't it funny to think about something like that

Like how they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay. This is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, uh, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm hmm. Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit BetterHelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle, r-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e, the middle of riddles of d,

but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in between the two ds. Hope you get home. Bye, baby. Am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's J.P.C.'s birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much,

especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling.

It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets. Stop. I stopped. Stop.

No, click, click clank, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website

And we're back and I don't know. Sorry. I had to run in shut my windows I had a there's a weird noise outside. Does anybody else have a weird noise or anything like a commotion outside? No, I mean, I live on the same street as you, but it's like 30 blocks away. Oh, weird. Mary, I don't know if you, I know you're in LA, must be nice, but here in Chicago,

there's some sort of, I see a bunch of creatures marching on the street, it's almost like there's an animal parade. Oh, that's so funny, that's happening in L.A. too. Oh, well then great. They're really long parade. Yeah, now I also begrudgingly see one as well. And it's all nice for you too.

I'm going to have to wait so long to see my kid is in the marching band. Goddamn. So why don't we hear, let's open our windows fully and hear a little bit of this parade. Mary probably what's going to happen is to the beat of a very simple drum. We're going to sing about animals we see, uh, doing certain things, holding certain things, being certain things. So it goes a little, it goes a little something like this. If you at any point want to join in, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, I'll walrus with a hot cousin, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a flamingo who loves man's cow, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a flamingo who loves man's cow, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a flamingo who loves man's cow, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, a flamingo who loves man's cow, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- our podcast at gmail.com. Let us know if we can read your full name or otherwise we'll just say your first name in initial. So Molly H. And Mary, just for your gratification, the first time

that Adolf Sprung animal prayed the segment on Aaron and I, Aaron and I thought that was the segment. We thought that the intro game that we played was the whole segment. So you had about us. That is what I thought. Yeah, you had about as much wording as we had. Yeah, that is what I thought. To be fair, that is the best part of this segment. But nevertheless, Molly sends an article and attached to it. She has an email that says, in all caps, sharks are walking, not a typo. So let's go ahead and read this article.

This is from CNN World. Scientists discovered four new species of sharks that walk. Ooh. What? The CNN article starts off. Scientists discovered four new species of sharks that walk. Ooh. What? The CNN article starts off, so some sharks walk, just not the scary ones, while great whites haunt the deep, walking sharks are content to scuttle what? He said haunt the deep, they're not ghosts.

Yes, they are, they're going to die ghosts. That's why they're called great whites. Yes. Because they look like they're covered in a, you know, Scooby-Doo Ghosts with big sheet stars. We shouldn't have to explain this. I'm sorry. A great white is just a shark with a sheet over it. I went to college for five years, I should know those shit.

Wow. They've been walking or something close to it for at least nine million years. They're evolutionary superstars, too. walking sharks could be the most recently evolved shark on earth. And this is pretty impressive. They're also called epiolate sharks for their spots that resemble the military decor. They walk on their muscular fins to forge for small fish along shallow reefs.

What? I was going to ask if they have feet. They don't have feet. That would be not what that attitude. Please I want to see it. Please I want to see a shark covered in a sheet walking on four legs. I would like to see a scene. I'm so sorry I do have to sing this real quick here and then we continue to sing. Look there he goes that shark is so peculiar. He's always walking on his fins. And everyone, he's just the same. This is morning.

He swims. All a beauty beast, but it's just a shark. Just do that whole thing. I don't know the reference, and I feel attacked. Because that makes sense. Yeah, right. Taylor, six feet long. Yeah, right.

Okay, I want to see a scene. I'm going to be a shark who is walking in the fashion week for the first time. I'm a model shark. I'm the first shark to ever walk down the runway. JBC and Mary, you are too experienced supermodels and you just like can't believe a shark is walking in the same show as Aaron. Can I just say that we love shark week, but sharks love fashion week. That's true. That's what I'm hoping. See? Oh my God, I can't believe that I am wearing the two-piece in this show. You're so lucky. You're so lucky. Really? Because I'm pissed about it. Hey guys. Show us. Hey. Um, hey. Hello. Can you believe how luck we are to? Oh, I'm one of the models. Um, I mean, I do have to keep moving and my eyesight's pretty bad. So it's possible. I'm not knee-exact.

Oh, I hate it. Well, good luck walking the runway with me. If you can't, like, if you don't, if you, if you can't see it. Good one, Courtney. Courtney and Brenda. Courtney and Brenda, I just wanted to say, like I own every magazine cover that you've ever been on and just like, I, and I of course it got wet

because I live in the water, but it just like means a lot to be walking in the same shot. You wanted to. Oh, I live in the water. I it just like means a lot to be walking in the same shot. You too. Oh, I live in the water. Um, I sort of just like how are you in Manhattan right now? Well, Manhattan's an island, so I sort of just swam up. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What Courtney met is how can you afford waterfront in Manhattan?

You're a new model. That's exactly what I meant. Yeah, I can't believe you're already walking for Gitchy. Yeah, I feel pretty proud of it. Do you know how long it took me to book a Gitchy show? I've only been modeling about two weeks. I'm not sure it did a two week.

You bitch. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I may not have bones and I may, what are some other facts? You don't punch me in the nose, I'm so sorry. I may not have bones and I may... What are some other facts? You don't punch me in the nose, I'll let go. No, I'm pretty sure, you know what? I'm gonna Google that really quick. No, it's no, that's a model thing. Courtney and I are both missing 50% of our bones. Yeah, you have to get rid of them if you want to walk out. I had a tattoo artist remove all of my arm and forehead bones.

Should I do that? Should I do that? Brand up. I saw one on her bones. I'm sorry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry too. But normally I eat people, but today I'll eat what you guys eat.

I'm sorry. You're a shark who normally eats people. Yeah, well I grew up right by a surfing place and just like sort of that's what I grew accustomed to. I have a question. So like you're supposed to, I noticed that you are wearing like normally eyewear the evening wear gown and you're wearing the show and the evening and your head.

Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head.

Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head.

Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and the evening and your head. Yeah, I'm closing the show and. I'll show you. I would love to see it because I'm just cute. That was a legitimate question of like, how are you gonna do this if you don't have any? I know that you might be getting a lot of mean from both of us, but we legitimately do what

to know how you're going to do. No, yeah, we're just here. Um, the organs are sliding to the bottom half of my body. This is not natural life. Oh my god, she is a model. Oh. Oh. Charcs don't have bones.

I pulled that out of my freaking ass while they don't have bones. It's like sort of like the tissue that we have like cartilage. Cartilage. No bones. But they ate the bone. But aren't teeth bones? I guess. As sharks age, they deposit calcium salts

in their skeletal cartilage to strengthen it. Hell yeah, dude. The positive of those calcium salts. Sharks also have infinite teeth, right? Don't they just always keep re-growing and shooting out teeth? Do sharks have infinite teeth? That's my favorite. David Foster Wallace novel. Also, the phrase shooting out teeth, I think, is a little strong.

I don't think they're like porcupine quills. A birth, tea. I don't know. They're only range weapon, at all. Otherwise sharks are useless at a codbat. And that is true. If you punch Aaron, you're right. If you punch a shark in the nose, it will let go.

But for a jet, you have to gouge out its eye. Let's get to our animal themed riddle. So here's another riddle for us to solve. A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea. The waiter took her cup, went into the kitchen, and returned with another cup of tea. The woman had a sip from the fresh tea, and immediately she shouted, you brought me the same tea. How did you know? Let's see. He's a fly, the server's a fly. Yes, that must be it. I don't know why

the server's a fly. You think you're upset? My brother drowned today. And then it looks to the camera and goes close enough. Yeah, sorry. This was just an excerpt from a short Dave Ives play. I have this maybe stupid. I have a guess. Oh, was she wearing lipstick and then she could see her lipstick stain on the side of the tea. Erin, that's a great guess.

That is not the answer here, but that is a great guess and a possible time. Can I hear it one more time? That's a great question. Yeah, of course. A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea. The waiter took her cup, went into the kitchen, and returned with another cup of tea. The woman had a sip from the fresh tea,

and immediately she shouted, you brought me the same tea. How did she know? Twice the tea, cool. Tows the tea before Christmas. The tea was not cool. Had it cooled down since piping hot when served, taking back to the kitchen and come back cool.

Hmm, that doesn't strike me as tea. That doesn't sit well. Oh, oh, oh. These are all great guesses. They're not the right answer, but they are a right answer. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Don't give me a hint. Okay.

Don't give her a hint. Everybody back on. I'm not. It was the woman, a magician or a magician's assistant or the producer of a magic show, and as she marked the cup in some way so as when it came back, she turned the cup over and saw her classic producer of magic show behavior. JBC, you nailed it. This woman was David Blaine's wife. Yeah. Okay. Nine times out of 10.

I think you issue with that. How are we supposed to know that? I think that's the reason that he has that. How are we supposed to know that renowned bachelor David Blaine got married? Who was the one who won him away? What's crazy? What's crazy is that?

David Blaine's wife doesn't even know she's married to him. That's how good he is Wow, what a mind freak. That's the other one. That's the other one never mind Freak so how else could she tell that that was the same tea she had it was still hot There's no markings on the cup or on the saucer. I assume there's a saucer. There's still a fly in there There's still a fly in there. It would be... How do please let that be the answer? Just accept it. That's the best we're gonna do.

I would love a guy who's just like, it's his last day. And he's like, yeah, let me go take this out. He walks into the kitchen, walks back without having touched anything. He just makes the sound of footsteps and stays exactly in place. I want to say, in 2015, I was at a Chili's just before New Year's Eve with a party of four, and the service was pretty bad, but our waitress came to our table. Maybe we'd already gotten our food,

the waitress came to our table and was like, just so you know, I'm letting all my tables know, I just fucking quit, I've had it with this place. And then she walked out and we were like, oh, wow. What to do next? did you do next? And eventually they came by to give us our check and they just gave us our check.

And then there was, there was a discount or anything on the check. And then the manager was like, I'm so sorry, here's your check. And we were like, hey man, come on. And he was like, we'll give you 50% off. I wanna see a scene. What happened?

Oh yeah, go ahead. I'm sure it can't be good to work there. I'm sure he was an ab, the guy looks like an absolute dick and he was also like, it was busy, like it was a night, it was a day. Yeah. I want to see a scene, Aaron and JPC, you are at a, I believe this is like a British thing,

like a T, a T house, like somewhere you go for high T, I think that's a thing. I can't T house. I affirm this, but sure this sure yes that sounds good and so you're at the tea house and Mary you are their server and you just you just cannot today okay what excuse me miss I could you could you know what do you want my husband loves How you tell you he loves when things have like Happening we have tea we have Jasmine do we have caffeinated tea?

We have non caffeinated tea. Yeah herbal tea. Yeah, whatever you want What do you want? Can you say it? Can you say it again? Been slow and sort of tell us like an adjective describe tea My mind. I think it's the Japanese accent that I'm just not picking up on I think it's the Japanese accent that I'm just not picking up on I'm sorry Okay, we will have Jasmine tea

Do you want an adjective before? Okay, Jasmine tea, great. I'm putting you down for two Jasmine teas. We have a selection of finger foods, cucumber mayonnaise. I don't want food that's such fingers. A cucumber? No, they're not my fingers. They're for your fingers to pick up. I'm not putting, you know what?

You know what? No. Oh. Enough. I'm not putting you know what you know what no I'll have you know that I'm a Duke of Lords It's done. I'm the Duchess of the place with that. Okay, you know what? I know you're just a bunch of kids and trench coats and I'm sick of this Correction, we're a bunch of dogs Seeing Correction, we're a bunch of dogs. Oh my God. Same. First, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first,

first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first,

first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first,

first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first, first No markings on the cup, no change of temperatures, the exact same temperature somehow, just for the sake of... Okay, I have a question. I have a guess. Yes. Oh, Mary, you need some of that. Mary just gasped.

No, I just gasped. Unrelated, she's watching a football on the screen. Is she dining at the cheesecake factory? Which is renowned for having an open kitchen that you can just see into, and did she see the waiter not change out the tea? That's another great guess and possible answer,

but not this answer. The hand-to-gave is deaf leopard. Wasn't the cheesecake factory? Deaf leopard. Yeah, that's the hand-to-gave, deaf leopard. Okay, so from the Bloodhound gang has taught me that the drummer from Def leopard only has one arm. Adoles cultural touch points are my cultural touch points.

Wait, I think Mary has it. You guessed, I thought I'm so sorry. I know, I know, I gotta stop doing that. Is it something with the arm of the teacup? Can I just say I would love to see Marius like a detective. This is not a scene call, but I would love to see Marius a detective who like goes, aha, and they're like, oh, you saw this? It's like, no, no, that's just my thought process.

It's like I have to speak a lot. Of course, I've got it. I don't have anything. It's just part of what I know. I'm just trying to boost my confidence. Just try and get my confidence up. I'm just trying to feel like I could't have anything. It's just part of it. I'm just trying to boost my confidence. Just try to get my confidence up. I'm just trying to feel like I could possibly have. Does it have something to do with the arm of the tea cup?

Nothing to do with the arm. Mary, I think we're shaking a guess. Does it have? Is it? Okay. So she has tea. There's a fly in it. She's very upset.

Yeah. They take the tea away. Yeah. They bring it back and she takes a sip of it. And she's like, she's upset because it's the same tea. But the thing that I'm bumping against is that she saw the fly in her tea and she tasted the second tea. So what is going on with her? Well, here's the thing is Mary, you walked herself right up to the to the cliff's edge of the answer and then you backed away. So think about it. She just saw the tea the first time. She tasted it the second time and she knew somehow through the taste. So you're right there on the cusp of an answer. And again, I said def leopard as a hint, but maybe not everyone knows def leopard.

Oh, I know. Okay, I got it. Yes, I would, I know def leopard. I would think there's at least one song, you know, of def leopard. Yeah, yeah, if nothing else. I know it. What is it? I know.

So when Adelso, this is very clever. When Adelso says there's a fly in the tee, there's not a fly in the tee, the fly famously played by Jeff Goldblum, Goldblum type of tee, she poured some sugar in the tee. And so she knows. Adel, fire him.

Fire him, just do it. She tastes it. Fire him right now or I'm leaving. Yeah, and I mean to fire him right now. Mary, I'm so sorry. JPC, can I see you over here? No, you nailed the answer. It was perfectly correct. Sorry that these two are not on board. No, the answer is. Oh, so the sugar on me in the name of T. That is correct. What had happened was the woman

already put sugar in the first cup when she tasted the new tea, it was already sweet. So she knew if it was already sweet, it had to be the same cup of tea. Pretty good. I love riddles. I really hated that. We did it. Everybody, we did it. She hates riddles.

She just said, one of her favorite days ever was doing riddles in a car and we ruined the cherished memory for Go home everybody we did it. I think that deaf leopard is a band that did a live show where they played they opened with that song and then closed with that song in their Not Swan song. What's it called when you do more songs at the end? On core on core swan song When they die at the end I saw Neil diamond live and he did that he played what is he played porcelain? I'm be twice no no no Neil what's his is it you have a catalog. Oh sweet Caroline. Yeah, he's saying sweet Caroline like his second and third song And then for the encore for the final song he made all of us sing sweet Caroline and I was like I didn't pay to hear these fucking

Octogenarian sings sweet Caroline Going for that what a good ad for Neil Diamond cut Mary, I'm sorry that we made you hate riddles I hope this next and final segment will win you back over. Of course, this is a segment we do every time we have a guest with the last name Holland. This is a segment we call Holland if you hear me. So what's gonna happen, Mary?

And we just wanna apologize one more time to Tom Holland. We did not know your body of work. We were not familiar. We were unprepared for the segment. So that is our apology to you. We also wanna apologize to Tom DeLong because... Other reasons.

Other reasons. Oh, okay. We were wrong. Aliens aglist. So Mary, this is a segment where I'm going to ask you some questions about your last name, Holland. What is the, do you know the country of origin of your last name? I think English. I think English. So I took this in terms of the country Holland. So I'm going to ask you some questions about the country Holland. Easy.

Perfect. You can get some help at any time and I definitely hope you do lean on these two. You can get some help from JPC or Aaron. They can chime in with what they think the answer is and try and help you out. However, anytime JPC gives you some helpful advice or tips or possible answers, he's gonna do it in a way that's as if he's your dad and he's letting you know that him and your mom are divorcing. And anytime Aaron gives you a hint,

it's gonna be in the mode of the most popular girl in school trying to befriend you. So I use compassionate empathy. How any parent would deliver a conversation that's sensitive. So we'll start up with, I think a bit of a layup, we'll see. What is the capital of Holland? Mary Holland.

Okay. I believe, well, Holland, I'm not totally sure about this, but I think Holland is not, is a province? Is it like, is the country, or is the country Holland? I guess because I thought Holland was a part of... I think it's part of the Netherlands. The Netherlands, yeah. The Netherlands is like all those, all that area together, but I think Holland is a country. I speak with no knowledge, but I...

No, it is, Marius correct. It is the Netherlands. And I think Holland, sometimes they're used like, interchangeably, but I believe Holland is like a province of, it doesn't matter. But yes, I think that that is correct. So let's say Amsterdam. That is correct. You get one tulip bulb and you're, you're, you're aiming for at least five.

Mary. Oh my God. Oh, five tulips. Um, Mary Holland in 1810, this famous man made his brother, Louis, the monarch of the Kingdom of Holland. I know this. Don't forget you can you can lean on JPC or Aaron and they will try to get. Okay dad. Hey Mary um so come in stop just lurking in the doorway. I feel comfortable in the doorway. This is not technically my house anymore. We'll get to that. Kind of some bummer news.

Your mother and I are no longer going to be together. She is going to be with Louis G's brother is going to be with Louis G's brother from now on. That's my brother. G's brother. No, Luigi, I'm sorry, Luigi's brother. And I, of course, in Mario. No Mario. So the answer is Mario. The answer is Mario.

I don't know, dad. Okay, well, I've been drinking. So I'm gonna go, this is why I'm gonna go back to watching the big game. Okay, goodbye. Mary, I just been drinking so I'm gonna go this is why I'm gonna go back to watching the big game. Okay. Goodbye Mary, I just want to apologize for that Louis the monarch I have no idea. Do you know? Aaron I can google it if it's not Mario then I'm

Fucked I'll say that this famous man whose brother is is is Louis, who is made monarch, his last name would never be a name of a shark. Kishark. Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

Oh my god, I love your hair. It's so cute. Oh, thanks. Hey, do you want to sit with us right in here in the courtyard? We can talk. Oh, yeah, I was just on in here in the courtyard, like, we can talk. Oh yeah, I was just on my way to the biology lab. I like your backpack and I like your glasses. Thanks.

And it's Jan's sport. They're both Jan's sport. Awesome. Do you have any questions for me about the school? Oh yeah, I guess so. Actually, yeah. I was just wondering, like, who's Louis' brother? So, like, Louis, I think his last name is Bonaparte, which is like bone

So my guess would maybe I gotta go. Nipoli. Hey, excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry. I never do this But would either one of you like to buy a pumpkin? We don't need you. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Mary are correct in a point it is Napoleon's brother Louis you now have two tulip bulbs were for a man for five Wow, okay Here we go Holland has approximately 1.5 million of these And this could be anything this is not I didn't really help you out with the 5 million of These would use windmills.

That is way too many windmills. This is something that's maybe a living creature. I know what it, I know it's not fucks because the people of the Netherlands have none of those. An animal. 1.5 million. Oh, okay, so livestock could be like insects. Do you say sex? Insects. Insects. We have 1.5 million sex.

That's how Dutch people talk, right? No. Cows chickens. That doesn't make any sense. It is cows. Cows. chickens. It is. That doesn't make any sense. It is cows. Wow, cows. Wow. So Mary, you have three tool of bulbs and I'll ask this.

Wow, okay. Oh, I get that one. Great. You get that one. Hold on. I gotta do it like a dad. Hey, kiddo, cows. Okay.

Lemio, whoa. I will say I had another question on here that was Amsterdam has over 1200 of these and no, I'm sorry that was Bridges where was that one oh Holland has around a thousand of these a thousand working windmills So that is wow you knew they had windmills you knew you that windmills I just assumed it was 1.5 million But I guess 1000,000 is close. 1,000 working windmills and 1.49 million non-working windmills. I'm going to play the windmills. Mary Holland, here's another question for Holland, if you hear me.

There is no country in the world where more blank is consumed than in Holland. 32 million kilos per year. There is no country in the world where more blank is consumed that in Holland, 32 million kilos per year. There is no country in the world where more blank is consumed than Holland, 32 million kilos per year. Cheese is a great answer, but not the correct one, but they are a bunch of cheese hounds. Milk? No, it's not milk.

Big better be, they have a million cows. What are I doing with all that milk? I have a guess I have a guess. I'm gonna deliver it. Maybe like a dad Hey sport So your mom and I are trying to hash things out Okay Weed oh really love for you to Weed. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Really love for you to get out of here.

I've gone. Yes, the Dutch eat 32 million kilos of wheat a year. They're very sick. Good. God. The answer we're looking for is liquorish. What? Are they okay?

That's so much liquorish. Holland has the highest concentration of these in the world. Holland has the highest concentration of these in the world. And I'll give you a hint. And your hint is. Give the hint like a popular dad. Combine them. Like a popular dad.

Hey, what's up, sweetie? Hope, I mean, no big deal. Oh, this is the skateboard. Are you supposed to be popular? Oh, look, let's see. Flip it. I was never popular, so I don't know what that feels like, or it sounds like.

Is your dad dressing in your little brother's clothes? He's busting out of them. Dad sick. Hey, you know who all the cool kids are talking about is that Ben Stiller. I hear that Ben Stiller's really cool and I hear Steve Cougan and Owen Wilson are real popular as well.

So that's what all the kids are talking about is those three actors here. They're pretty sweet and celebrities, children. Models. Yeah, what was the prompt again? We had to. That's pretty easy. Holland has the highest concentration of these

in the world. Comedians. White interesting noses. White men. White men. You know, I'm your White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White men. White is the last one. The Dutch from Holland. The Dutch are the blankest people in the world. Happiest. Happiest is a great answer. It's not correct. I believe the Danish are the happiest people in the world. Good for them.

Are the Dutch the Dutchest people in the world? The Hollandest. That would make sense. The Milthiest. Where the Duchess people in the world. The Cowiest. They're the Cowiest people. The Cheesiest people in the world.

Windmill. No sweetie, that's me, you're dead. It is a physical attribute. Okay. Most beautiful. No, that's sweet and famous, isn't it? No. No, that's sweet and famous No, no that's subjective the

Tallest They are the tallest and horniest people in the world they actually FOM I You should have said FIFO come is right here, but I'm so sorry right there You are somebody said it the Dutch are the tallest people in the world Mary that's five tulips two of bulbs You win really? Oh, that's very nice. I feel like you're giving me a couple of those and I don't deserve no You should just go for it each bulb is worth five hundred thousand dollars a piece Wow, where do I? Oh, okay? Where do I trade those in?

You don't want to keep up? Basically gonna are you mailing those to me? Yeah, you trade them in pumpkin salesman What we don't need you Okay, you can them on your pumpkin salesman. Okay. Well, who am? We don't need you. Okay, fine. We can do scenes without you. So Mary, thank you for letting me do that nightmare of a segment with an ethnicity that you have no relation to. Thank you.

That was fun. That was very informative. Absolutely. Well, that brings us to the close of our show. Let's go ahead and see if we have anything to promote Aaron Keve. Do you have anything to plug or promote? Nope. Follow me Aaron Keve 10 on Instagram if you want a message me or anything, but I got nothing. Great. Mary Holland.

Mary Holland, you can follow me at Mary Holland days on Instagram and at mholand85 on Twitter and There's a movie coming out around the holidays Listen it couldn't be in the movie theaters It couldn't be in some sort of Digital box office thing, but it's called happiest season and it's a holiday movie and so Just look out for it. Oh, can you tell us who you play in that? No. No. I am in it. I am in it.

I'm going to assume that you play like Christina Claus. You're just going to watch it. No, no member of the Claus family is represented in the movie. Very nice. What was the name of that movie again? Happiest season. Happiest season. Very nice.

JPC, any plugs? Nothing to plug. I do want to say that earlier when you said that brings us to the clothes of the show, I wanted to say something like you can buy a merch in the link in the episode description because that's going to be the clothes of the show, which I thought might be a fun fun pun And then the moment passed and then I still wanted to get it in anyway. So add a little to the plug I always want to plug shoe hoarding in bits even though the window has passed I think that's always a great idea And then I also want to plug two quick things the three of us myself JBC and Aaron

We were on a podcast called if I Were You hosted by our podcast daddies, head gum, Jake and Amir. So please check out a episode of If I Were You with us on it. I think that came out this week too, right? Yeah. So, so it should be out there now. And then I also was on a, I was a guest on a wonderful podcast called Random Number Generator horror podcast number nine. That's hosted by Jeffrey Kramer and Cecil Baldwin from Welcome to Nightfail. So please check that out as well. We reviewed the movie Susperia, which I had never seen up until I had to watch it for this podcast.

Boy, oh boy, that was a roller coaster ride. Oh, the Shyla Buff. Mm-hmm, the Shyla Buff, absolutely. And Aaron, of course, the spookiest planet in all the solar system is what planet? First! No. Jupiter! Bye! Bye forever!

Bye! Bye! Hey there, Yukuki Squirrels and Geese. If you liked that, you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We do a return to the bracket challenge. You can find that in all of our episodes by joining the clue crew for $5 or the review crew for $8 at patreon.com slash hey riddle riddle. See you there! a hitgun podcast.