Hey Riddle Riddle - #116: Three Butlers Living in the Very Same House

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

This episode has everything you could possibly want in an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle: an out-of-context cold open, new nicknames for the hosts, a segment about showering and an impromptu sitcom. Truly it's one for the ages. Oh, and it's also got a budding romance between an unlikely pair, two protectors standing up for the peasantry, pedantic conversation at a somber occasion, an enterprising author giving it his all, the sting of a job well done, a new boy in town and the homelife of the monarchy. Oh, and if you haven't already, make sure you grab tickets to our live streaming show on 10/13, you can buy tickets now! Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It looks like you have plenty of space for recording and everything so how do you tell that at the very bottom? It says disk space remaining for recording. Oh, please don't look at that. That's private My dick space is none of your business And it's bad to have plenty of dick space the names dick space. This is my space station And you're gonna play by my rules Vulcan That has legs and so does she I'm dick space of a bad man, I shouldn't be drinking whiskey at work. I'm feeling this is gonna be the start of the episode. Here we go. Cover your eyes.

Ow! Oh my God, I hit my forehead. Okay, just come in. Just come in this room. In my elbow. Okay, uh, uncover your eyes. Aaron is your eyes. Ow, oh my God. Okay, just come in, just come in this room. My elbow. Okay, uh, uncover your eyes, Aaron, it's your birthday. So you get to pick out a new co-host. Uh, out of all these co-hosts in this room. Hey, I don't want to seem over eager. My name's Michael Nichols and I really need a job. I got four. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can we get him away? Put him back in his cage, put him back in his cage. Uh, uh, so Aaron, there was a lot of co-hosts in here. Yeah, just be quick. Do you want to play with them?

Or do you want to give them a pet or ask about their age, Jason? Okay, let's see. I'm going to go up to this guy. When I say riddies, you say. I don't got time to deal with riddies. I don't have time to deal with a lot. Terminal, that's what they said. Go work at your computer, Terry.

All right, I'm gonna go over to this guy. So no women in here though, huh? Well, still just a bunch of like this. I guess since you said it, I guess we'll respect that. That's the one time we'll respect your offering. There is no women here. No, it's not what I meant. I'm gonna go up to this guy.

So we should leave us women and we clap, snap, clap, we're out of here. Hey, how can I help you? I like this guy's sound. Chuckie pizzas, my name and riddles is my game. I love to be up. No, no, no. All right, I'll Chuckie pizzas.

We gotta go find ourselves. All right, fine, JBC, fine. I learned my lesson. This was some sort of like Christmas Carol thing where I learned that JBC was the best that we can do. And Eric, can I be honest? Not only was I the computer terminal guy, Chuck E. Pizza, the first guy at all the women, but it's me, JPC, and I was all the co-host the whole time.

Oh, no wonder why they were all the worst. The one note. And speaking of, I'm Adderify. I'm Chuck E. Pizza. And I'm the guy from the beginning. What was him? The guy from the beginning. What was him?

And this is Hey, Riddle Riddle, the podcast bringing you all the rils and puzzles and lateral thinking problems. You could absolutely stomach. We are, whoa, we're in our, what, I wanna say, 25. Late 40s. Late, we're in our late 40s

We're all going through midlife crises We've been doing this for a hundred years That we're going through menopause we have hot flashes Drives is everyone okay, this is this has been just Such a wild week. It's just been such a wild week. Rollercoaster right. A rollercoaster right of a week. The image for me for this week was watching Sean watching the debates, which technically was still in the. Yeah, that's right. It was insane. He was so stressed that he was doing push-ups and setups and then got so stressed that he dug a cigarette out of the trash right in between doing his push-ups and setups and then smoked a cigarette out of the trash right in between doing his pushups and cigarettes and setups and then smoke the cigarette outside because he was so

stressed. It's one of the funniest things I've ever done. He dug a cigarette out of the trash, but his dad threw that cigarette out of the trash when he said, I'm out of here, kid. You can figure out your own baseball college. But then when you're old enough to dig this cigarette out of the trash, then I'll be back. I was like, wow, there really is no curbing your stress watching this, huh? Because it is. It is.

Absolutely fucking bonkers to think that the debate was less than a week ago when we're recording this. That's insane. And basically nothing has happened in the news since then. Yeah, I don't think so. Let me check my newspapers here. No, just a bunch of one ads. My favorite thing is Trump getting COVID,

getting the best care in the world, and then saying that it's not a big deal and we shouldn't be scared of it. I can't wait. I mean, who knows? Who knows what will happen next? This, it's like Andy Cohen. We got a reality TV president,

and we're finally getting some fucking fantastic reality TV out of it. And I just, I hear, I, for one, am here for it. It's my favorite type of reality TV. It's just me watching Real Housewives, because I don't care about what happens to any of the main characters. I do care about, like, because some of them have children, and I'm like, oh, these children shouldn't be here. And that's how I feel about the people that just have to clean and work at the White House. They're like, we're gonna die, right? these children shouldn't be here. And that's how I feel about the people that just have to clean and work at the White House.

They're like, we're gonna die, right? But it's that type of reality TV. It's got horrible consequences, but man, oh man, I'm rooting against these main characters. JBC, can I see your real housewives intro? Like if you were to spin at the beginning and say a little sassy thing, I don't, you can do one too if you want.

So if you don't know about real housewives at the beginning, they're like all, it's probably like a green screen or something, but they're all dressed in fancy, like they're done up, head to toe, makeup, expensive clothes, and it has their name, and their name is something like chrysalis or...

It's always chrysalis. It's like tiagra or something like that. And then they say like, you know, I might be broke, but I'm not gonna broke a sweat trippin' on your ass or something like that. They have like a little lime. That's not mine, that's not mine. I don't want to.

I want to, okay, so I want my name to be Vanessa Kedaver. And I spring out of a fountain, because the camera's been stationary on a fountain for like eight minutes. And I spring out in gas for air and then smile and then spit out water. because the camera's been stationary on a fountain for like eight minutes and I spring out in gas for air and then smile and then spit out water and then I fart and then wafed my own fart up to my nose and then look at the camera and wink and say don't bother with my land line and that's my intro. I've never seen

the show is that a good? That's right. You know what's a little upsetting is how good a bjabi did. My name is going to be JP Diamonds and mine is going to be, I'm going to have two different over the shoulder. I'm going to have, I'm going to say, I'll have what she's having over the shoulder and then bam, cut over the other shoulder and then say, the cum sandwich. That's my opening line. This is my opening line. I'm in a huge dress. I'm holding a bottle of champagne that I've

clearly just been drinking myself and then I turn and go, you heard right and then I turn back and I go, I'm overrated. Okay and then I also want to when I get out of the fountain and drive myself off, the producers help me tell off, then I lay down the ground, like I sit down on the ground on my butt, and I spread my legs as far open as they'll go, and I'm wearing a skirt. And in front of- It's in Hey Riddler Riddler, I'm JPC. And in front of my genitals is a clothes sign,

and I just turn it from clothes to open, and then I wink at the camera and say, open for business. And I do want to change mine as well. I also want to say shampoo for my real friends over the shoulder, real poo for my shampoo friends over your head and shoulders over my head and shoulders. And GBZ, since you're already doing the intro, you are Old Man Puzzles for today. Oh man, puzzles that old man puzzles. Yeah. I'm just keeps roller along.

I'm not a little like Bernadette Peter, that's just awesome. He's rolling, he's on Molly. Yes, I'm Oldman Puzzles for this week. It's been a chaotic week, so what better way to focus us, to center us, to bring us back to some sense of normalcy then by doing some reddles. So we are gonna start out with a couple.

We have a couple listeners submitted ones. So this one comes to us from, you know what, they didn't say that I could use their name, so I won't, I'm just gonna say their initials M-M. It is M and M. This is coming to us from the Detroit wrapper M and M. We stand. This is, it's a warm up hurdle.

It's a bit of a warm up hurdle. They say, but even if I end up, oh, I'm sorry, the beginning of the riddle is in the subject line of the email. I just started reading the body of the email. Perfect. My mistake. I'm creating through the air and screaming constantly. But even if I end up dangling by my toes

from a tall oak, I'm sure I'll be fine. What am I? Sugar glider. Sugar glider. Snap, snap. Did you have to sugar glider? It's like that fuz ball football. Bobby Bouchet, Adel, do we want to see a seed?

Was Gambit going to show up? No. No, you're right, it with two early. It's too early But since of no mercy a kite Aaron is not a kite a hot air balloon a bat a bird It's gotta be a bat because bats are always using echolocation and they're screeching They're like Dustin diamonds and the rough. They're always screeching. I want to see a scene. Sorry Wait, can we find out if I was right? No.

She said sorry, like, except the apology. Uh, uh, uh, Adel, you're a bird. You're like a morning bird. You're such a morning person, and you are dating a bat. So, JPC, this is the first time you really had to be up during the day and you're trying to, I think you can date the spurred.

Sure, sure, sure. I'm like a bird. I'm up at 5 a.m. I already caught on the worms. Hey Jerry, hey. Whoa. Welcome to the land of the living. Hey, you know my name? Yeah, you seem to be up early.

Uh, yeah. I'm sorry. Do I know you? Have we met? Uh, my name is Twilight. Oh, Twilight. Yeah. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

I'm sorry. I'm Jerry. This is my tree. Or I guess it's, twilight. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Jerry. This is my tree, or I guess it's you know me me tree. Tricasa, sucasa. I don't speak that. No, it's okay. It's fine. So, so you're like nocturnal, right? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And can you make out the features on my face or are you? Wow, that's very forward. I would love to make out with the features on your face. Uh, if that's if you're offering, I mean, I mean, now that you brought, I mean, you brought that up. I was talking about something else. I was talking about echo location.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Yes, I know, I know echo location as well. So I'm, I forget myself. The, I'm sorry, this is, it's early morning for you. I've been up all night. So, so you can, so bats can locate any Mark Echo clothing wear at any department store in the world? Eee, red flag.

Um, anyway, I gotta be, I gotta get up, because I gotta be up super late. So it was so nice meeting you and you said, this nice to meet you. Yes, it was nice to meet you. My name is Twilight. It's kind of, it's kind of like a funny thing because I'm up so early Sure. Yeah, good stuff. So I got your information. You have mine. We you know my nest Yeah, and I can find that we can definitely let's make a plan to do that we can you're not taking down any information? Oh sweetie

Oh, well this was great I this bugs hold on we have so much in common. We both have bugs, right? One, we both fly, two. We both have, our kind starts with the letter B. That's a great. Yes. Anyway, it's so great running into you again.

I enjoy your bugs. I can see that you're probably going to go eat a lot of bugs. I'm getting a call. It's echolocation so you can't hear it. So I'm getting a call. I'm getting a call. I'm getting a call. Wow.

Wow. Wow. That's how it is. You just got rejected by a bat. I'm checked, please. But the silver lining is that you are correct. The answer is a bat. Thank you, M&M, for sending in that riddle. No, no, no, no, no.

All right, this next one. It's a good thing I got that answer, because my interest was starting to wane. That's funny, and I like that. Hmm, thank you. This next one, they also didn't say that we could use their name. What's called Yahoo user drew dab import. Okay, so this is from Yahoo user drew dab import.

And this their email is about things called two minute mysteries, you guys have heard of two minute mysteries, right? Hell yeah. Well, we've talked about two minute mics, which is where you used to get my haircut. Exactly, so it's not a to get my haircut. Exactly. So it's not a far jump from that. We're basically already there.

But they said that in primary school, they were introduced to riddles from this book called Two Minute Mysteries. They'd always be about a detective, at a murder or robbery or whatever, and then someone would say something innocuous, which would clue in the detective or the cops, and then they would arrest them on the spot. And then they remembered a couple of them that they sent into us. So, primary school is any school that's divisible by itself?

Yes, so primary schools are one, three, five, seven. Red, yellow, blue. Ha, ha, ha. All right, I'm gonna put my detective hat on, scooby-doo-bees, okay? Put on my detective coat, shaggy-de-deap, and I will put on my detective ankle bracelet, which I am required to wear. Wait a second. What detective told me it was required? You guys, there is no coronavirus.

JPC's just on house. And that bracelet prevents you from watching the hit drama house, right? Exactly, yes. As my story, my crazy medical story, please. As I experienced the world, we have all been unlocked out since I decided to turn on some mobsters And I who I was doing their books for them and then the world has been unlocked that ever since

And that's why also I changed my name to Charlie pizza. Please do respect That is the name that I have to go by now. I can still do a broadcast Pizza table of one Technically on a house arrest. I did order pizza and the table is the little table that they put in the noble Roman's box. It's the little like a plastic white for a prog table. I should stop talking. Actually, I'm getting a call.

It's an echo location. That's what you can't hear it. This is called the case of the AeroList bow. The chief clue in the death of Susie was an archery bow, lying on the carpet at the top of a narrow twisting flight of stairs in her home. Susie was found at the bottom of the stairs. Her neck broke, the sheriff tells you. Had she fallen, her momentum would not have carried her around the twists in the stairs.

She was pushed and hard. As far as we can determine, the only thing missing from the home is Susie's famous, Luzon Diamond. My theory is that Suzie heard burglars, fearing for the diamond, she tied it to the arrow and shot this out- and shot it out the open window, expecting to reclaim it later. You say, an exotic theory, but perhaps true. The sheriff tells you, the prime suspect is Kevin. He's been trying to buy the diamond for years.

I've had him picked up. You hide the bow. You both, this in the stairs, just as Kevin was brought in by police. Kevin listened arrogantly, as the sheriff said, Susie was pushed on the stairs and killed. The Luzon diamond is missing. Were you in this house during the past three hours?

Kevin insists. No, I don't know a thing about Susie's death, but find the diamond you dumb cop, I'll buy it. And then I don't know a thing about Suzy's death, but find the diamond you dumb cop, I'll buy it. And then the parentheses, what a nice hole. Uh, you tell Kevin, the diamond won't be hard to locate, uh, staring up at the top of the narrow twisting staircase you add, it's only a narrow flight away. Let's go outside and look, Kevin exclaimed, arrest him, you tell the sheriff, why? Because he had no idea that she was gonna shoot

the arrow outside. He should, by all reason, assume it's upstairs, and he said, let's go outside and look. So he knows it's outside. So he knows it's outside. Oh, do they have an arrow through his neck? He has an arrow through his neck, yes. Oh, then that's the thing.

And you would have known that she shot it from me that window upstairs. I think that you guys are both of the right answer. But do you know there's an operative word in there that kind of clues you into the right answer? Diamond. No. You guys, they're tired of me. I'm in the diamond. No. No. No. No. No.

No. You guys, they're tired of me. Um, operative word. Would it be, so be, well, I don't wear a mirror. I think it in an opera voice. Well, I'm sorry. In an opera voice. Please, could it be arooo?

Uh, Addle, you were correct. So, um, you tell Kevin the diamond won't be hard to locate. Uh, and you're looking at the staircase, you say it's only a narrow flight away. But what Kevin hears is it's only an arrow flight away because he knows that it was shot with the arrow. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Nero, Nero, Nero. So thank you so much. What is it? Yahoo's Dustin Diamond. What do we got this person?

Diamond Alice page. Thank you, DDP, so much for that riddle. And they also included a link to more two minute mysteries. So let's do them. I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you are Robin Hood.

JPC, you are Jeff Hood, Robbins little brother. Okay. And Aaron, you are teaching him how to shoot an arrow to ward off an attacker. All right, Jeff, shoulders back. Okay. Keep your heart space open. Dude.

My what? Your heart space, your chest open. And can I just, I think you're doing great like uh you're doing like so good I'm no I'm not no you're doing so good the one issue I'd say is you are stealing from the poor and giving it to the rich it's so much easier I know so much easier I know buddy and I'm so so proud of you I'm so so proud of you but it is the absolute worst possible thing you can do And that's not what we're all about. Wait, made Mary, made Mary.

Hey girl. Oh, Mary, what's up? Can I, can we like exchange information? Uh, this is my dumb little brother. Just, oh, Part of me made Maryan. I still some dirty rags and blankets for you. Would you, uh, would you care for some dirty rags and blankets? No, no, Jeff. I stole them from a very poor man. Jeff, don't, Jeff, don't.

They seem to be tampons stuffed with oatmeal. I don't want this. What? I didn't do it. I'm just saying what it is. Made in Mary. It seems like you did it. I'm sorry. I said, I'll label it again. I'm sorry. I don't have time for this. I'm dating a little John Yeah, yeah, you ever heard of him. No, okay. Well, I'm dating little John. So I'm doing quite well

Dude, I see walking through the forest. Yeah Oh brother, sorry, so take your crush and drink it. I guess So take your crush and drink it I guess Damn, I'm sorry Robin that's really blew that for me what I was just trying to help I just robbed an old poor man Earlier today, and I was just trying to offload some of the gear. I got Robin. I'm doing this all wrong Can I go turned around can I go back to what I was doing before you took me out of medical school? I think I could make a good doctor. Doctors are just wizards.

I know, but doctor, I googled what's the richest profession and it's doctor. After I get a girl of that debt, I'll be wealthy. The most noble thing you can do is steal from the rich and give it to the poor. Not save people's lives the idiot Robert yours seems like a Very like a band-aid to a bigger social problem. Let me put this old rag on the top of your head

And I'll be able to shoot it off with an arrow. Oh, I don't know Robin. It's like God you took my ear saying I'm gonna give it to a poor person God, you took my ear. It's saying. I'm gonna give it to a poor person. He is a ear you poor person. I texted KC that I was betting him $10. You would create a character called tire fuck

and you did not, so I lose $10. Okay, cool. I've got one more. Listener submitted before we get to some rails of a different variety. This one is coming from, you know, maybe these riddles are before we asked people if it was okay if we could say their name. So we've got two initials, A and M. These are two different people. What do we think?

What kind of names do we want to give them? Ask to mouth. No, let's call them Alice and people. Monroe, okay. Hi, Alice and Meatball. Alice and Meatball, that's slightly better than an assistant to mouth. I send us these, this riddle. Okay, a young woman is living with her conservative

religious family. After a year of questioning and soul searching, she decides to finally admit something. That night, at dinner, she approaches her parents and says, Mom, Dad, I've given it some thought, and I can't really be Christian anymore. I hope you understand. Her parents are obviously flabbergasted and disappointed in their child. The mother talks about it with her neighbors and the news spreads throughout their church group. The following Sunday, the young woman returns to church with her family and no one is surprised to see her there and she continues praying. Why is this?

Oh, great. A fucking parable. Was her name Christian? Is it a parable or a paradox? Oh, these are the last thing was Christian and she is getting married. Aaron, that is a really good guess. It is not correct, but you're on the right name. Her last name is not Christian. Okay, I said, I don't know if you heard me. I said she changed her name. Her name is Christian.

I mean, yes, that is, that is correct. Her name was Christian, but it is not Christian anymore. Yeah. Um, this, this woman is transgender, who was assigned a male name at birth and has given up that name and is no longer being Christian, but she is still going to church because she is still a Christian. That's great. What do you mean that's great? Just try to put you on blast. That's great. That's great.

Well, here's the thing. I don't agree. I question, would you name your kid after your religion? Seems like sort of a hat on a hat. I name my dog Spaghetti, so yes. My bird's name is Baptist, first Baptist. Here's the thing, I don't agree with religion, but if you want to celebrate it and enjoy it

and practice it, God bless. I don't know. I shouldn't have had all those wait-vers. Okay, there are no kids named Jewish, but there are kids who Christian. So I'm just saying, who's more pompous? All right, do you really think that there are no kids named Jewish, but there are kids who are Christian. So I'm just saying, who's more pompous? All right, do you really think that there are no kids named Jewish?

Aaron, have you never seen the famous actor from Mr. Robot Jewish Slater? Huh. Hmm. There's a tricky thing we're in like a trickier part of the rabbit. Is Christian the only, is Christian the only first name

that is named after a religion? I think so, right? Like no way. Quaker Oats. You, you, you gotta, you think that the name is Quaker Oats? You know, the guy from Cocoon. I'm sorry, Quaker Oats. You're Dave, you're Dave, you look like that

with the buckle hat. The, the white name is Quaker Brimley. Your name is Quaker Oats. You should check for diabetes. I think it's funny if his name is Quaker Brimley. Your name is Quaker. You should check for diabetes. I think it's funny if his name is Quaker out. My name is Quaker out, so I'm an oil man. I actually am not sure. I don't want to talk out of my ass.

I think I think it might be, I don't think that there's a lot of other first names. But I also think that there are people who his name is like faith and chastity and stuff like that. And I think that those are kind of like, christiany words. So I think maybe that's more of like a thing in Christianity.

It's like there's so many like, Christ-based names. I know, maybe like 10 years ago, I can't remember exactly, so don't quote me on this. But at some point in the last 10 to 15 years, the number one baby name was Nevea, which is heaven backwards. Is it really? It was. Oh, it was. A certain year. It was like in the top five. You know, in the last 10 years, the number one baby name was Nevea, which is heaven backwards.

I just quoted you. Seven backwards. I said don't. Heaven. I guess, Bell. I don't know what is Heaven. I guess spelled. I said seven. I don't know what is happening. I'm sorry. I said those, I'm sorry about everything I've said so far. My baby's name is Navajo, which is Seven backwards. Who wants to tell her? Does it?

What does it help? Wait, really quick. I'm going to look up the number one baby names in the US in the last two years and then you guys can guess. I remember that a friend of mine, and I don't wanna put him on a blast, but named his daughters, and the names that he named his daughters

were the most common baby names that year. It was like, who would up or what, and number two, they were twins. I always thought that that was so funny. Yeah. Okay, so do you wanna guess the top Sarah? Baby names for 2019, for male names and female name Mark Sarah Jessica Dylan

I want to say there's got like a chat or a Chad No checks checks David David Michael. I'm gonna say Emily. I think Emily is a solid. There is a variation on Emily. When I'm in Emily. Emily, yeah, Emily. Shorter. Emma. Emma. Emma. Emma's the number two baby name last year.

What was number one? Olivia. So for female names, the top four are Olivia, Emma, Eva, Sophia. And then the top four male names, Rileam, Noah, Oliver, and William. You just listed all the members of Oasis. Did I? Yeah, Liam and Noel, right?

No. Okay, well, thank you so much for everyone who sent those riddles in. Of course, if you always want to send riddles into the podcast, go ahead and send those to hrrpodcastatgmail.com. Make sure that if you have HR related questions that you would like me to answer at your office, this is a bit I used to do like 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 episodes ago, go ahead and send those to hrpodcastatgmail.com. I still do not have access to that email address. I am locked out of it. I'm sure there's a lot of hundreds

of emails. Here's what I want to do. One, I want to, I just had a great idea. One, I want to encourage all of our listeners to get a HeyRiddle riddle tattoo. I think that is a great idea. I don't think you'll regret it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Nope. I think that's a great idea. Nope. Two, if you are going to have a child and you and your spouse or loved one, it doesn't have to be a spouse. If you and your loved one who is going to co-parent with you

is having a baby and that you both listen to the show, you should name your child riddle. I think probably around Harry Potter times that was maybe not an unpopular. I'm sure that someone had riddle as a middle name. I'm sure that's a good middle name, I think. I think that would be a stellar homage to us. Cause I feel like we need

to we need to ask our fans to show their loyalty. What would you have your kids made a name be Lord Voldemort? I honestly believe this. I believe that that children should legally have to be mandated to change their name three times in their life. I think that they should have, the parents should pick the name, and then age three, the child should get to pick what name that they want to be called. Mine would have been butts. Sure, so your butts. Now that is your name, that is your legal name through eighth grade.

Mine would have been Tobleroni. When you are 14 after going through your whole childhood with butts in Tobleroni, you get to pick it another name. That is what. Joe March. That's the name that you choose until you are 18 years old. So you go through all the high school at that name. Sorry.

And my name would be Gush Funderland. All right. So, and then when you're 18, you have to choose your final name. This is the name that it's like, you bit butts, you bit Gush Funderland. Now you want to just settle that. And your name is? John Patrick Cohen. Still Gush, Funderland. Now you want to just settle that in your name is. John Patrick Cohn. Still Gush, Funderland.

My name's Charlie Pizza, it was Charlie Pizza for all three, baby. And if you're a Bob Boss and you're listening to the show, Charlie Pizza, don't know shit about the horse murders. Hey Boss, I finally found out what Charlie Pizza is. He's co-hosting the podcasts. Get the horse, let's go. Wait, is this an area? His name was Charlie Pizza is he's co-hosting the podcasts Get the horse, so let's go

Wait, this is an area. His name was Charlie Pizza He changed it to Charlie Pizza Because he's an idiot Okay, let's read another list of numbers I finally found pizza Charlie He changed the save the Charlie Pizza He's also the river podcast Um, no, we are now going to an oldie but a goodie,

my favorite, the blue book, backed by popular demand. I think one person's read-a-beat that they wanted to see the blue book again. So it is backed by popular demand. What work can a sculptor never finish? What work can a sculptor never finish? Cleaning up all the clay. They say a sculptor never finish? Cleaning up all the clay

They say a sculptor never finishes cleaning up all the clay. Oh What can't Oh Aaron is very possible that we've had this one But hey you still need to give me the answer to it I'm thinking about is like dying like his hands, you can't. Cleaning his nails. No. These answers suck.

Is it his taxes? One thing that's sure, baby, it's sculpting in taxes. What work can a sculpture never finish? A sculptor, sculptor, not a sculpture. What work can a sculpture never finish? Nope, not a sculpture. A sculpture, a sculpture. A sculpture. What work can a sculpture never finish? Nope, not a sculpture. A sculpture. A sculpture.

A sculpture. Okay, sculptor's gonna be working with marble or clay. One who? Scolps. Okay, is this something to do with sculpting? No. Oh. What work?

Can I give you some hints? Yeah. The work isn't necessarily big. Many people undertake this work. None of them can ever truly complete it. Oh, is it counting the grains of sand on a beach? You think a lot of people try that? Seeing yourself in person.

Interesting. No. Oh, is it the Lord's work? They say the Lord's work has never done. But on the sixth day, he rested. Well, I say. Being here on funeral. I say the lords work is never done, but on the sixth day, he rested. Well, I say. Been here on funeral. I say the lords work is never fun.

No, you're both, you're not really on the right track. I do wanna see a scene. Aaron, this is a funeral for you. JPC and I are there in attendance, and at some point during the funeral, we discover that you are there in attendance. As part of a fuck you in some sort of a hurrah. Oh my God, this is a travesty. I mean, yeah, a tragedy.

This mozzarella is not good. It's been sitting out. Yeah, it's been sitting out for a long time, and it's still hot. And they're pairing it with heirloom tomatoes and not cherry tomatoes like this is Bad honestly, I won't even have a tomato. That's not a Roma tomato anymore. That's my yeah right And it's it when I see like a you know, what is it beef beef steak beef steak? Oh my god. Oh, it's a great movie though. Yeah, yes, I'm sorry Yeah, any caprese salad worth its salt should have you know a smaller tomato and not an heirloom

Nobody wants to eat a full tomato in a in the caprese salad. It's not a salad. It's just a bowl of tomatoes Can I be honest? This is barely a salad. It's tomato. It's cheese and it's a little bit of what basil? Yeah, I guess yeah, it's not a salad. It's I'm gonna say something is her mom here. I'm gonna say something. Oh Don't don't bother. Yeah guys. This is pretty sad. Huh? Huh? Yeah, or you behind that veil who's this? It's just like it's so sad that like the salad also has a little bit of olive oil Balsamic vinegar and a little bit of like mustard powder and salt pepper. Why are you wearing a wedding dress to a funeral? And it's also super sad that there is Why are you wearing a wedding dress to a funeral? Ugh, and it's also super sad that there is

Caprese salad and other food at my, or at her funeral. Oh, good. And not even like the wake, like normally not at a funeral is their food. But you, her family and friends couldn't go 10 seconds without eating, so I'm sure that's why she has it. Yeah, yeah. So, who is, who are you? Cause you kept saying me and her, you were like changing your verb pitches and well I she uh Aaron was actually a like a secret philanthropist millionaire um superhero vigilante oh so we all heard that she was a philander

egg yeah we thought you slept around we heard philander a thousand there uh who kiss chickens I mean that sounds like a dream life. So. Seed. It's me. Why is there food at my funeral? Trying to put the fun back in the... Yeah, exactly.

We're gonna call Caprese salad food. I put the funnel cake in funeral. I like the little Caprese apps. Oh, yeah. A little stick. I like Caprese, don't get me wrong. I like Caprese, but why apps. Oh, yeah. A little stick. I like Caprazi, don't get me wrong. I like Caprazi, but why do they call it a salad? It's not a salad.

It has a little bit of green on there. Yeah, but it's like an appetizer, but it's, ah, it's just not a salad. Can I blow your mind? Yes. PPC in the culinary world, and this is fact, you can look it up. Anything in a bowl is a salad.

Serial salad. Minu. Hosta salad. Minu-bola. Pizza. Pizza you put in a bowl salad. Serial salad. Maneu. Salad. Maneu-ble. Pizza. Pizza equinnable salad. Super salad. Okay, you guys get this.

What work can a sculptor never finish? A lot of people undertake this work. None of them can ever truly complete it. Undertaker. No. It's- You need to give us another hint. It's kind of like, it's's kind so sculpting is an art

But it has nothing to do with that art. It maybe has like to do with a different Art type of a creative outlet. I should say. Oh creative outlet, but Simon and Garfunkel. No, it's not music Yeah, it's Simon and Garfunkel Well, no, it's not music because Paul Simon's never truly done with our garfunkel Like he kept clawing his way back into the scene and trying to get residuals You know what if I was a lawyer if I was a lawyer that would be my only moving court lies the lies I am just a poor boy, though my story is still to me cold. As a lawyer, I would only use Simon and Garfongos. These are your closing arguments.

Are you sure that's the interesting thing? I'm just singing America over. You're on it if I may. Like a bridge over troubled water. See, if I was a lawyer, all I would do was lie your bets. I do the evidence blue blue it's the claw your honor it's the claw did a JPC give us this fucking answer what is this making love in the afternoons you hasn't even tried just to pause I've been my bedroom making love I get up to wash my It's a Paul Simon bit. She's got diamonds on her soul.

That's just Paul Simon. Yeah. Well, it's Paul Simon Lee Smith Black Mombasa, which is the Graceland is the best Simon Garple Global. That's just Paul Simon. It is not, it is not music. But is it Paul Simon solo career? What work could a sculpture never finish the answer is Paul Simon solo career. Correct. could a sculpture never finish? The answer is Paul Simon solo career.

Correct. Are we ready to move on? All right, I don't know, JPC. So let's think of famous sculptors. No. Rodan. Rodan, don't you want me to think of famous sculptors? I already told you, you need to think of another type

of like art form. Another art form. Music you said now. Dancing, painting, painting. Painting said now. Dancing, painting, painting. Nope. Cooking, drawing, eating. Not drawing, but you could use a pen for this. Writing.

Okay, writing. No, it's not a novel, but it is a specific type of thing that you can never truly finish. Trace. A maze. Trace seconds. A maze. Uh oh, we're revealing some things about

ourselves. No, no, you did the trick as you can't get out in the my little magazine. They don't have there's when you're doing the little maze on the piece of paper there is no way out. It's a little pedantic but like truly you could never finish this ballpoint. And then it's ballpoint

and then someone else would have to sell someone else. Take a toe game. No, no, no. You're it's a writing. It's it's something that self someone else would have to sell someone else to take a toe game. No, I didn't her. You're writing it's it's something that you're writing a letter. No longer your will. No, but it is about you. Oh, your bio autobiography. Your auto bio graphy is the answer. Aaron and I teamed up to crush this riddle. We can do it. JPC, I want to see a scene. You are at your typewriter, ghost writing,

your own autobiography. And Adel, you can sort of be there just in the corner, sort of like Ben Affleck in it. Like you're not really, you're just eating like cheery on the couch. So salad. He opened the door and stepped foot inside of his home. I'm sorry.

Are you talking to me? No, I'm just thinking out my process. I'm reading my autobiography. Oh. Well, it doesn't sound like you're thinking out your process. It sounds like you're talking out your process. I, honestly, Jake, I forgot that you were here. Can I get you anything?

Could you turn up sports center? Bada, bada, bada, bada. No, I'm not going to do that. By the way, did Carol say when she was planning or when you guys were maybe going to talk again or if that was even on the terms? No, Carol killed her husband. And so I went nothing more to do with her.

She is insane. She's a tiger queen and I went nothing more to do. Hey, guys, sorry, not like not. No, come on. Autobiography is a biography right of your own life, JPC, so you don't have to ghost right, your own autobiography. It will just like go up to a certain point. So what they, what they said to me is that they would never publish my autobiography, so

I said what if it's not me right again? So it's a biography. Well, no, I'm ghost writing my autobiography. But they read the draft that I already turned in. They said it was awful. And they said, what they said, it was boring and crass, which I don't know how it could be those two things. So different.

So I'm rewriting it from a different person's perspective, but that person is me. Okay, awesome. I don't even know why I'm having to argue it. Let me hold on. Hold on. Let me see. You're insane and we were your puppets.

Well, speaking of puppets, we are puppets for the great products that we need to let you know about. So let's scamper off the hand that feeds us and let's let the hand do the talking. Let's hear from some of these ads before I dig myself deeper into this puzzle of a comparison and we'll be right back with more Hey Roodle. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah.

You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking at all. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Okay. Okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gage with your audience and so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and

inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening okay? Wait, what's going on with that? Oh? Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing new He's gonna shoot you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website to prank the two of you.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website website for. Frank. Where's space? Yes, where's space? You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait. I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly is a middle of the woods.

No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever.

Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods,

therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better

than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire

to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm.

And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-d-l-e. The middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the United States. Hope you get home. Bye, baby.

I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app rocket money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor,

and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint,

Clint, Clint, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to 720 dollars a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click. Stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, rocket money. I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Did it with the beast? Did it? Seven minutes to make your way to the drawer. What is this? Brem, Brem, Brem. Please use all the services and buy all the goods that we mention. And please, whatever you do, once you leave the Mansion, please name your child, riddle and get a tattoo. I hope you enjoy the promo code. The furthest fork is fork, it plays a salad.

Three butlers, living in the very same house. The promo code. The furthest fork is for complains. They're salad Three butlers living in the very same house All right You've had that idea that's our idea you can't use it. That's oh my god Aaron Okay, Aaron is brilliant. I find I finally realized it I'm finally gonna speak to the truth Aaron is brilliant. We need to write a sitcom that's Uppsal butlers. There's three butlers. I'm really the store ourselves. I think it's three butlers.

And then the tagline is living in the very same house. Ding! It's three butlers. It's three butlers who've worked their whole lives for other families. They saved up enough money to retire. And now they have a butler. But then they're lonely, so they all three live together and they butler for each other, and they can't help but butler themselves,

because they don't know anything else. This is a great press. Three butlers. Living in the very same house. Thank you, ring. It's Gerard Butler, and he's playing all three roles. Okay, we have to see a scene from three butlers living in the very same house.

Here we go. Three butlers, let me just name it, a house, and a same house is filming from a live studio audience in Burbank, California. Hmm, I'm craving tea, but my leg is still broken. Whatever shall I do? Well I've been dusting all the furniture, but I would be more than happy to make you up a cuppa I'm afraid third butler Mortimer would be jealous if I have you get me my tea Well, I don't want to talk to him because he kicked me in the stomach and slow motion and screamed in my face. This is sparta Why is me it's me Mortimer the bottle is

Where's your odd butt? Not what you're doing. He's, is he American? He's from New Mexico. Oh, I guess we learned this whole time. Not talk about each other behind each other's backs. Missy yes, of course. Oh, I wait a second.

I'm thinking of the guy from the boys. Who's this guy? Oh you're thinking of the... Jason Steve though. No no. Dark hair. Abysods the boys. Keith Urban. Keith Urban!

No Carl Urban. Carl Urban. I'm thinking of Keith Urban. Or you write mate? That's what I'll be thinking of. Wait who played the lead role in Grace and the Fire? Three, but Liz! Living in the very same house! Ding!

Ah, alright. So, we're waiting Netflix. That... We'll be waiting for one. This is the Deadly Dresser. A healthy man got dressed, then lay down and died. Why? Um, of course. and got dressed, then lay down and died. Why? Ha ha ha.

Um, of course. A healthy man got dressed, and then he laid down and died. Is that what you said? A healthy man got dressed, then he lay down and died. He had an old basketball store in top of his dresser, and he came out, hit him on the head, and he died. Aaron, now it says right here that basketball is his favorite sport.

He likes the way they dribble up and down the court. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. All right. No, that is not correct, but it is a great guess. A healthy man got dressed. He laid down. Is it blunt force trauma on his head that causes his death? No, it is not. When he laid down, is it like laying down

his poker hand or something? Like, no, it's him physically laid down. It's him physically laid down. Yeah, so a healthy man got dressed. It's always good, boys and him physically laid down. It's him physically laid down. Yeah, so how's the main got dressed? It's always good, boys and... He'd laid down and died. Right here, and do you bring up a great point? Right.

That he was poisoned, and if he had not dressed, he would not have died. Really? Yeah. Okay. He tied a tie. That did something. Yeah, he tied a tie too tight. As we all know, you have to be careful with diet tied a tie that did something. Yeah, he tied a tie too tight.

As we all know, you have to be careful with tying a tie. Is this some bullshit like the, he saw what he saw thing was like. His clothes were so sharp that cut his artery and he blew it out or something. So really, who's poison? He was poison. It was poison that killed him, poison.

So, poison. There was something that he was wearing before that was preventing the poison from working. Sases, don't. No, that's a great guess, but it's not that. Poison there was something that he was wearing before that was preventing the poison from work No, that's a great guess, but it's not that it's not he wasn't wearing anything. He was what he was Aaron get this Aaron He was fucking completely naked actually got poison No, no, he was fully dressed when he was poisoned but before he was was poisoned, before he got dressed. That girl was poisoned.

He was fucking naked as hell. He just got a per se hour. J.B.C. Wanna hear something crazy? Please tell me. I've been naked in the last few days. Ooh! Oh, why, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still in you, I'm still in you!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? No, I have that. No, I would picture this. Yeah, for, I'm in. I'm related. J.B.C., please shower. This brings us to our next game. This is a game for just Aaron and Adel

because you are seeing me on a Zoom. It is your turn to guess how many hours it has been since I last showered. Now, I will say price is right rules, okay? So if you go over, you lose, Adel, we are starting with you. How many hours has it been? Our KC stressful countdown music?

Since I last showered, a couple facts about me, I don't leave the house. I'm filthy. It's locked out. I've got no word to say. I'm gonna say. How many hours have you been? Since I last showered.

And you know the exact number? I know the exact number of hours. I'm gonna say 32 hours. Adel says 32 hours. Aaron. I was going to guess something similar. I was going to guess like 34 hours ago. And if not 34, then it will have been like 56. It has been one week 29 hours since the last hour. You have got yesterday morning. I knew it. We both knew it was yesterday

morning. That's not nothing. Okay, so a day is 24 hours. It is almost 10 o'clock right now. All right, put the music back in the clock. Yes, the morning is 20 seconds. Wait, what put the music on the clock? Put the music on top of the clock. That's how it works. All right, one was left in my shower. We need to give Aaron one of those Alzheimer's tests because he wants to put the music on the clock. What's the music on the clock? The last time Aaron you shard, I'm gonna guess 1998. I'm gonna guess. I think it has been 11 hours. I think you shower this morning.

I'm gonna guess 12 prices white rules Think it has been oh Aaron doesn't know. Oh my god. I don't have a terrible game. She's doing You guys want to guess my favorite movie? Okay, thank you for both your guesses. Let's see. 31 hours ago. Wow. Wow. And Adel mean Aaron for you both guessed 100. And that's your age. And that's your age in the last time you showered.

In days. All right. Little by little. Little by little. That's an important part to watch as well. I guess didn't get it. The deadly dresser, healthy man got dressed, lay down and died.

Why? What happened? But he was poison. He was poisoned, and he was poisoned once all of his clothes were on. Poison activator coat. No, it was not the coat. This is an unsatisfying answer, but you're very close, so that's why I'm letting you

just get to it. Shoes. Yes, what about the shoes? Brattle snake. Full of, full to the brim with poison. Aaron, you are, uh, in front of the rattlesnake, but you are there was something in the shoe. Not a rattlesnake.

A point in his relationship. Aaron is absolutely right. He had a poison, a relationship with a shoe. It was a spider. He had a spider in his shoe that was poisonous. Once he put the shoe on, the poison of the spider got him and then he fucking died. I always said, I've always told people,

this was in high school, because these conversations would come up. I always told people, if I ever killed someone, I would put a tiny scorpion in their shoe, because one, they can't trace you to that, and two, with scorpions, the tinier, the more deadly. So the- You're awfully confident that scorpions aren't gonna talk.

All right, I wanna see you see. We'll have Aaron, you are going to be playing a scorpion and you're at like a bar, like a neighborhood bar. Oh, real quick, I just thought of this joke. Just sorry, popped in my head. I need to get it out. I also get joke blue balls. What did scorpions say to his friend who had just been dumped get

over here no get over her uh Aaron you're tiny little scorpion of the neighborhood bar uh everyone does you're a real loudmouth Adel and I are a couple of regular lures at the bar and you're bragging about how you just poisoned the guy best avenue in the till. Next round's on me everybody. Oh man. Do you mean that in the way that you asked for the music to be put on the clock? Yeah, put the music on top of the clock.

We're dancing till two two days. Save your money Scorpion. Nobody's interested in you. No, I'm rich now. Pick up. I'm rich now. You dumb other bugs. Alright, I'll rich now. Pick up. Pick up. I'm rich now. You dumb other bugs.

All right, I'll take, then I'll take an old file. I'll tell you why I'm rich. Lean in close. I'm just being clear. Just be clear. You're just being clear. This is a bar for people. You're a scorpion.

We're not other bugs. So let's call it people. I'm calling you a bug. It's an insult because we're friends. All right, all right I'm gonna be close to pins to pins to pins to pins to pins to pins to pins. No, no, no, no, we're fine here. We're fine here I'm sitting in a martini glass like it's a hot tub Come in close boys, and there's a dead frog at the bottom of the martini Oh, yay, and on the other side of the martini glass

There's a fox and on the other side there's a bag of graime Yeah, there's another riddle for another day boys leaning close I'm gonna ham the ham pinza pinza. I am rich cuz I got hired on Craigslist To do something bad Very bad. Was it another sex thing, Scorpion? Did you like step on a guy's dick and tell him it's small or something? Oh, so I've been talking a lot of this bar about my accolades. Have I must be?

Do you pour some milk on your pincers? Yeah, you said you would step on a guy's dick and said, man, that's really small. Take it from me. I'm a tiny little Scorpion. Yeah, and I got paid too. Guess what I did today. What did you do, scorpion?

What is it? There was a little scorpion who sat in the shoe, hiccup. I'm drinking. Are you? Are you drinking something in my teeny? Wimmer? And now I'm wearing the olive as a hat. There was a little scorpion who sat in the shoe and then he waited for the front of you

As soon as it's there. Me? Uh-huh. I I took very good care. So that's I'm okay and I stabbed Wait a second. wait a second. Mickey, take off your shoe, take off your quick. I got a little stab mark on my toe. Oh me too. Oh shit. Two little bugs sitting in a bar in their life.

They won't get far. Squash. Wait, we are bugs. We're barflies. Scene. I didn't, why did you let me do that? Playing in simple, a boy who is three feet tall puts a nail into a tree at his exact height.

Boy who's three feet tall, puts a nail into a tree as his exact height. He returns two years later when he has grown by six inches and the tree is grown by 12 inches. How much taller is the nail than the boy? He's three feet, put the nail in. How big is the nail? Is it a three inch nail?

It's a three inch nail, yeah. Standard three inch carpenter's nail. So he's, yeah. That's what I think who did Trent Resner date? He dated somebody who wrote Liz Fair. And she said nine inch nail, more like three inch now. Do you ever read the anecdote? No.

It's kind of fun. It's the same height, the same height, six inches or the same height. I think it's still three feet high because trees don't grow from the bottom up, right? Addle. You're exactly correct. Trees grow from the top.

The top of the tree grows. Not the bottom of the tree. I said that, I said it was the same. I wanna say a scene. JPC, you are a new boy in school. This is probably junior high. You're the new boy in school. Aaron and I are old classmates at this school

and you're the new boy in school and you unfortunately grew up in the top. Yes, I was saying to... I think he's right... He's right here. Hey guys, I'm... Hey, we actually have... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Stop. If I can reach it. Yeah, you grow from the top, man. Oh, yeah. Well, you guys are noticing that I grow from the top. Describe your body.

And then I'm going to draw. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'm ready. We ask all the new kids to always describe their body day one. Well, okay, I mean, I'm going to, from my perspective, the first word I would use would be normal. Uh, describe it. What normal?

So let's see, I got tiny little baby legs. Tidy little, tiny little baby waist. Super long torso, like group long torso. My arms are super spindly, brittle and long. My fingers look like demon claws. They go into infinity and my head is somewhere up into the clouds. Something normal, like normal body,

like normal little boys. Anyway, anyway, my name is Chuck E. Pizza. I've never seen a mob sort of my life that I'm having to be. What's that right down on your head? Oh, sorry, I was I just came back from the sniper scene Oh Slender man, yes, but, or is he just a tree?

Yeah. You'll have to post that. That's great. That's probably like once in the silent. Groot concept art. OK, this one's a ghost writer. This one's called Jericho. A man was building a house when it collapsed all around him.

He wasn't injured or upset, and he calmly started to rebuild it. What the fuck was going on? This man was Charlie Chaplin and this is a bit from one of his movies where the house falls but he stands right where the window is and he escapes unharmed. Did you love that more than my answer?

Did that happen in Robinhood Minute Tights 2? I have a memory of I feel like that happening in Robinhood Minuteights to have a blanket. Yeah, yeah. But no, that is not correct um tornado uh no Aaron that is not correct either it was not a tornado oh I think I know the answer this man was actually a boy and he was playing with legos uh he was playing with blagoio which blagoes uh no he was not playing with Legos and it was not a little boy. And Aaron, it was not a card board box. So can you read it again?

The man's building a house. It collapses all around him. Yep, building a house. When it collapsed all around him, he wasn't injured or even upset. And he calmly started to read belt it. Oh, it's either a gingerbread house or a house of cards. It's all been a house of cards. Season six, ever coming back. Yes, Aaron, you're correct. It is. It's all been a house of cards. Season six ever coming back. Yes, Aaron, you're

correct. It is. It is a house of cards. Very, very good. All right, you guys want to do one more? Well, I actually want to see you soon. Well, that wasn't the question that I asked. So, I guess the answer is no. Aaron, you're the Queen of Hearts, JBC, you're the King of Hearts, the two of you are coming home from a long day work to your house of cards and your whole life of cards. Oh, wow, we're getting home at the same time. Look at that. Oh, I didn't know that you would be home.

It's 530, Mary, what do you mean? I thought you were in a business trip with... No, I'm just gonna go inside and take off my shoes, put on my slippers and my card again. I'm sorry? Oh, I'm having a friend over, because he's fixing the sink. He's fixing the sink in our house of cards.

I love it when a friend comes over to fix the sink. I'm just gonna head into my house. Whoa! Whoa, you're naked. Yeah! Hello! Oh, you know, honey, you're naked. Yeah. Hello. Oh, you know, honey, let me explain. You were fixing the sink.

You must have gotten all wet fixing the sink. Took your clothes off to dry. Yes, put a kind of one to. He's a real joker. Uh-huh. And wow, of course, I'd put a kind of one. I wouldn't want my gentle-skitting wet when I'm fixing a sink.

Anyway, cardigan. Take a little main coat. Cardigan slippers. I'm going. Well, of course, I'd put a cotton ball in it and it would want my jinn to look at what it would fix to get sick. Anyway, cardigan. It's a little raincoat. Cardigan slippers. I'm gonna be on my sofa. And I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, but I just wanna say as a plumber, which I think is what we're saying I am, sometimes, how do I say this?

Sometimes people don't use the sink properly. Sometimes they don't use the sink in weeks or months. And then, you know, the sink gets bored and the sink is gonna search out, you the sink properly. Sometimes they don't use the sink in weeks or months. And then, you know, the sink gets bored and the sink is gonna search out, you know, something. I would say don't speak for the sink. Wait a second. The sink has full agency and wait a second. Plumber, Jack Queen, Kang Ace.

There are no plumber's in cards. You're a flanderer. No, I guess I donated a lot of money. Well, congratulations, it's what, what a accomplishment. I've always wanted to be the flanderer. The point of a Joker is to be a replacement card when another card can't be found and is not around. That is the point of a Joker, that is why he's here.

That is why he's here. You wanna know how I got these cards? Stop it. Wow. This story is wild. And this wild card needs a nap. So I'm gonna go sit in my chair, take my little nap. Stop Mr. Rodger using your way out of here

and putting on a card again and putting on softer shoes. Look back here. We're talking about what he put on our merit. Hold on, let him go, sweetie. He might wanna be solitary. Oh, I just called you, sweetie. Whoops. Yeah, we're not there yet. See, let him go, sweetie. He might wanna be solitary. Oh, I just called you, sweetie. Whoops. Yeah, we're not there yet.

See, I wanna make a full house. Oh, wow. Well, too bad we called Cino and we didn't get that full house thing, so we had to cut that off. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that didn't make it into the episode. Can we do a bonus episode of all the bits I did that got cut?

One day, buddy. On your birthday for Christmas, we'll definitely do that. But actually a really fun episode. Let's record that until then, until then, just so we can give you something. We don't want to have you leave empty handed on this show of, I guess, how long it's been. They took a shower. Do you have anything that you would like to to Yes, I have two things I want to plug.

The first thing I want to plug is that I guessed it on my friend Lex Friedman's podcast. He has a brand new podcast that's a game show called Friendly Competition. So please check out Friendly Competition. It was an absolute blast. It was a very fun, weird, silly game show. You will see if I win or lose. And then I also want to promote. We have some good friends in the improv community

at DevilsDodder, JPC, that's the year former Herald team. Yeah, my former Herald team at IO that I was unceremoniously fired from. Hot true. But they, Gretchen, Ang, and Brad Pike from DevilsDodder one asked me if I would let everyone know in the community in the world about a brand new podcast network

they have called Devils.er podcast network. It's all of Devil's Slaughter and along with several other talented improvisers doing all sorts of shows. They have a show called Dear Diaria, show called Experience the World, Talking Shop, Blocked. So please check that out. I will say you're gonna want to make your way over to Twitter and follow them at Devils

DAUGH and you can find more information about all their shows and check all that out And they have a patreon and I listened to an episode of Bradpike experiences the world where he goes to the zoo for you So it's basically him taking you on an audio experience of going to a place that you can't go into quarantine And it was one of the most maddening things I've ever listed to have ever lived. Brad Pike is one of the funniest humans. Speaking of people in the Improv community who we love, JPC might have been about to say this, but I'll say it. Our sweet friends Dan White and Tim Lyon

started a new podcast called Improv is Dead. JPC's episode is already out. My episode comes out, I think, in a couple weeks or within the next couple weeks. Dan White and Tim Lines, to me, are two of the funniest people who have ever existed or lived. I, they were two people I looked up to a lot,

much like I looked up to the two of them, yeah. When I first started doing improv, and I, they are so laugh-out-loud funny, and if you're looking to laugh-out-loud, please check them out. And I really think Heyver the R Roto fans would like listening to them. Yeah, I think my app came out yesterday too. So it was a very fun podcast to do

and congratulations to them on their launch. And probably said you can find them on Instagram or you can them Apple iTunes on all the places tonight. All those places probably. While we're talking podcasts, you can always go listen to the Bill Buds podcast. Very fun podcast that I do with Johnny O'Mara from the campaign podcast,

but big news in podcasts. Our editor, Casey Tony, the actual play podcast that he does, Neo Scum, is back from their Bray Kaitas, whatever they were doing. Case has been working really, really hard on the editing. If you think case he does a good job editing this podcast, you have to go listen to NeoSkum,

the one he actually cares about. He does a much better job on that one. And it is truly, it is truly very enjoyable to listen to. It is a shadow run actual play. It is a mile a minute fun. And it's back from it, they're big break. So I highly, highly, highly recommend that you listen to the NeoSkum podcast.

That's Neo like the Matrix, and then Skum like come with an S. Go listen to that wherever podcasts are found. And if you liked what you heard on the show today from Hey Riddle Riddle, we're doing a live show in a week from when this recording comes out minus one day, it's on a Tuesday, Tuesday, October 13th.

If you wanna get tickets to that live show, it's a live streaming show that you can stream from anywhere in the world, up to 24 hours after that stream ends, go to headgum.com slash live, you can get tickets to that. It should be very fun. I think we're gonna do like 90 minutes, we're gonna do some riddles, obviously.

We're also gonna do maybe some of our Patreon characters that we do, and let's see what am I forgetting. Oh, and there's a live chat, so you can submit riddles to us from the audience throughout. For like relationship advice questions, and all sorts of other nonsense. And this is your chance,

if you've never seen one of our live shows because you live in some weird, tucked away area in the world. Life for us. Like Florida or the Black Forest in Germany. Now's your time to come out of the woodwork and to see us from home. It's going to be a good show. I can't wait.

And then one more one final thing to do. Yeah last plug last plug. Very last plug of the night. Yes, yes. Aaron, will you just say like the planet? To say your thing. Oh, the thing that I say at that. Yeah, the one that you said it in the episode.

Okay, yeah. Jupiter. Great. Oh, and then, oh, sorry, I had one more thing in that. Oh, yeah, just the last thing I wanted to say, which was five per hour. Oh, okay. And John Patrick Cullen. Casey, don't need to be editing. Hey there spooky skeletons, if you that, you're gonna love this.

On this week's Patreon, the Clue Crew creates her own scary stories. You can hear that episode plus our entire Bat catalog if you join the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8 by going to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See you there! That was a Hitgun Podcast.