Hey Riddle Riddle - #120: TWO Harmonica Solos

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

Look over here! A shinny distraction! This episode has so much to occupy your brain. We’ve got listener submitted riddles, a horse on a date, a portal to hell, and the worst musical/play mash up of all time. Also Erin finally has a meltdown- it only took 120 episodes. Happy Birthday! I’m sorry!Happy Anniversary!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. I the ghost of a JFK what a wild election we had this yesterday. Wowie. Actually JFK sorry we are recording this in advance. So technically we don't really know what's that there. Someone's recording a podcast with me. Teddy Kennedy. Teddy Kennedy. Who's that?

Senator. A Senator. A V-ador. Huh. He was famously a senator for Massachusetts. I was a Senator for Massachusetts. Are only the Kennedys coming or do we have a lot of- With someone say, ghost, it's me, me. The ghost of Teddy Taft.

President Teddy Taft. Oh. And a Boston bathtub. It's me the ghost of a John F. Taft Oh, hey, hey Aaron. Hey, it's me the ghost of a whoo the ghost of Mark Wobberg. Hey, okay, so all right This is a you're not even you're not even oh, hey, you're not even upset I died that's fucked yo Aaron that's fucked Aaron it's me Aaron I'm changes ghost Aaron me it's it's me doc Teddy doc. We're we gotta go back back to the podcast

What a way for you guys to tell me that you don't know who any of the presidents were Hold on Aaron it's me you cousin You know that any of the presidents were. Hold on. Aaron, it's me, you're cousin. You know that, presidents, you would, it's me, a Teddy Mario. President to Teddy Mario? Okay, so I've been recording a podcast with two boys who know, John F. Kennedy was a president and that's the end of the list. Hey, it's the only one who was Catholic or the only one on my list. There was the president who liked to poke a dance.

There was James K. Polk's. Six shooter McGee. What was that guys? There was old sideburns. Old sideburns. Old sideburns. There was a typical new and Tyler too. Barack Obama.

There was Lyndon B. Shappen. Um, who else? Is that from something? Lyndon B. Shappen. Um, who else? Is that from something? Lyndon B. Shappen. Lynd, can I just say, Lyndon B. Shappen. Uh, what? Who else? There was Jazz Man, saxophone boy.

Who was saxophone boy? That was recent. There's a guy's peanut farmer Williams. There was old, electric driver monkey, monkey actor man. There was who else? And it's me monkey monkey actor man. There was who else and it's me monkey actor man. That was fun.

So if I used to say we're recording this on a Monday tomorrow night is election night. We don't know what's going to happen. We know what we hope happens, but who knows the world we're living in right now. Or if there is a world who knows if podcasts still exist on Wednesday? I hope everyone still exists, and I hope that you're still listening to this podcast. Now this is a podcast about riddles. And if this is your first episode, I assume that you're scrolling through iTunes, you're like something to take my mind off of this.

You landed on this. You listed it three or four minutes. It did not make any sense. And now you're here. Yep. All right, but we're here to make you feel better. All right, where this is a distraction. Starting now, we will never make any reference

to anything in our world. I can't keep that promise. You know, you don't have to go stuff taft. We're here to make you feel better. Our hands are all covered in oil The shoulders look teds I now I invented Lafayette Ft. Oh My god, you sound like Rob Lowe when he played Kennedy and everyone was like oh, why I got stuck in a taftub

So the world is fine and everything's great. It's not gonna be fine. Uh, follow me this way. I'm old man puzzles. And I'm JPC. We haven't done this part yet. Oh, and I'm, and I'm Teddy Addle. And let's fall, we're falling, Aaron,

down this crickety staircase. Okay, so. We first I'm gonna do a Willy Wonka type. Oh, I'm very old and then I do Summer salt. Oh snapped in half Come with me and you'll be in a world if some puzzles and riddles Making this up here we go First to her first tour of the Rural Factory

Okay, so the season's a summer salt into a fall Here we go. This must be her first tour of the Rital Factory. Okay. The actual tour of the seasons are sub-ersaulted to a fall. So, Adel and JPC, if you get the most riddles right and you don't stray too far, I'll give you this riddles factory. Oh. Can I convert it to do something more useful to make riddles? No. I mean, I love the factory, I love the location

of the infrastructure, can I do textiles? You're not pure of heart. Adel, what would you do with this riddle factory, please, say riddles? Well, honestly, I'm here to steal the secrets of the riddles to give over to this creepy guy who I met in a rally after he saw that I won a riddle ticket.

All right, what about you, Charlie? You with your grandfather. Oh, me All right, what about you, Charlie? You with your grandfather. Oh me? Grandpa, what do you say? Oh, Charlie, we gotta go back. Oh, yeah. What about my other, hey, grandma and grandpa's doing bad. What do you think?

Our feet are cold. You didn't, you didn't put the blanket back after you got out of the bed and now I feed our cold. The way that we're laying the blanket only covers the middle part. Everyone's heads and feed our cold. I was gonna say I did put the blanket back but there's fucking three people in the bed which is insane. So maybe you should just, I've got point of fingers but two of them are fucking. And I've got pointed fingers, but two of them are fucking.

We'll never say which two. It's really YouTube. No. We need to remake Charlie and chocolate factory. Charlie in a fuck factory. Charlie in the chocolate fuckery. That's what it is. Graham, Graham, Graham playing the fuck chocolate fuckery.

The three of us need to make a grandpa the chocolate fuckery. That's exactly what that is. That's our next money. Kids send us a check. Kids send us a check. That's our next move. If you want to send us a check,

just go to patreon.com slash. Hey, good as super sales.com. Send us a check. Aaron, what's on the docket for the first repotal? I'm doing listener submitted riddles because I love doing those. In riddle books, hit me off. My God, I don't eat anything from the chocolate river.

Don't. Don't. Hello again, it's me, Rome. So this is from Rome. We've done riddles from Rome before. And I normally wouldn't do riddles from someone this close together But these riddles seem so fun and I'm dying to do them with you. How are you? Love the podcast so on so on so on. I'll go ahead and give you what you want some puzzles to solve

I haven't tried these. I love puzzles to solve any friends. So I have no Gage for the difficulty level, but here goes. Wait, they said they don't have any friends? No, they just haven't tested these on their friends. Oh, they're rich in friends. Oh, good, good, good, good. Actually, I don't know what their financial status is. You know, idioms say, oh, yeah, they don't say what they find. Tell us what tax bracket you're in. Oh, yeah, anytime you send us an email to HR or podcast at gmail.com, send us riddles, but also let us know if you give us permission to say your full name and also give us in

brackets what you make per year in a salary sense. I mean, it's just it's polite. It's common sense. It's polite. It's common sense. Tell us what income tax bracket you're in. All right, I'm ready. Ready.

You guys are ready. You guys are ready. You know And you have to buy idioms? You know idioms, saying like, don't want to be an American idiom. Till the cows come home. Yes, yes, yes. So Rome is going to give us two words. One word hints at the imagery or subject of the idiom.

Okay. The other word sums up the actual meaning of the phrase. So this is going to be better if I give you an example. It's actually pretty simple. Yes, okay, cool. So in the example, till the cows come home, the words would be bovine and longevity. Since the idiom mentions cows and means something that lasts a long time. Makes sense. Yeah, famously cows can last forever in bed and they don't come for a while.

I'd like to see a scene. I have for a while. I'd like to see a scene I'm lying. I would not like to see a seat Milk what's the opposite of I would like to call for that scene to not happen. Here's the scene that I would never like to see what a cow in bed What's seen backwards? Are you are applying that milk? Is cow come? Yeah milk is cow come. Don't do that and Chondroons chondroons gallons of cow come. Yeah, he really does It's the only ant if it's not cow come But if it was we would be putting chocolate and strawberry flavor and do another animal's gun Just saying

Yeah, it's to get a die scream. Just saying. If milky's cows come, would ice cream be that popular? Would people still be like ice cream? Yes, because humans are fucking disgusted. We all scream for coke. It's really at the end of the day, is that any weirder than killing an animal and eating it?

That is true. And again, I can't stress enough. This is your first episode. We're so sorry. It doesn't, it doesn't get any better than this. Can you tell that our manic chaos? Are you really sensitive? I actually think that you could get the,

kind of like, very, you know, reserved Western worlds to completely like change their world view and how they view sex. If like you just suddenly you were like, yeah, milk is cow common, it always has been. People would be like, well, I guess, I guess I have a lot of thinking to do about who I am and like what I like.

They just sit down in the couch and then lay down. Huh. Huh. Okay, Aaron, give us some of these sweet, sweet American idioms. Let's do this. All right, here are the words. Answers will be on an attached document.

The first one, are you ready? Yes, been ready for hours. Equine and patience. Equine and patience. So this would be a quick forcing around. Next one, please. A horse. Lips, sink, ships.

You have a word-renowned- I got it, I got it, I got it. Hold your horses. Mm-hmm. And JPC, you take that literally because you do, anytime you see a rules, a sexy horse, when you send it over some oats, and they say, this is from the Jodelman Anthem of the bar,

and then you hold it tight. I want to see a scene. Aaron, you're a horse, JPC, you're on a date with a horse. I think it's kind of strange that you took me on a carriage ride. It's sort of weird. Oh, if it's an issue of who pays for it, like I can go Dutch and I'm totally comfortable just oh no no no I'm fronting it as well legs don't bend So I can't sit in a chair easily and also my ex is one of the horses that is pulling this Yeah, oh, I'm sorry if this is awkward. I Google you

and A lot of results came in with your ex and who he was so I figured this is like a good first date because we kind of will emasculate him and show him that like, you know, what a real horse looks like and, you know, how... Well you're a man, you're a man. You're a mentor saying, thank you so much. But no, I'm a, I'm a horse. Oh my God, you're talking about how I'm in a human body now.

Okay. Oh wow, I feel like I'm missing a big part of this story. Yes, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry. In our tender exchange, I tend to do word vomit, so you may have missed it. So a witch spit on me a couple of weeks ago. Why? What's that? Why would me to her spin on you?

Excuse me, Horst. Get away from my hut, please. I'll go with any hut. I want, I mean, this hut, I mean, no to this hut. You can't do a thing to me. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do?

Please, stop. Please. What? Stop pushing you? Stop pushing with my hooves. Stop it. What do you do? What do you do?

Yeah, so anyway, it was another witch After I had bullied that witch who just spit on the back of me anyway, turn me into a short man It's kind of like because I was acting very short tempered and I'm like all bald and red faced because that's kind of like my inner personality Anyway, that was two weeks ago. There's a lot of soul searching. I've kind of become a better person, and hopefully if I meet my true love, which is why I got on Tinder, horse Tinder, of course. Just so we're clear, you were not a horse on a human Tinder, that would be insane. I mean, I did that for a year, and it was a great year. I've been on a human Tinder too, no judgment, but I knew that if I found a true love, I could come back into my horse body. So I

know what's early. I know the date has just begun. I would love if I could kiss you. May I kiss you? No You did bully that witch. Sure. And it's just sort of like right in front of my ex like yeah, like we were kids together We had planned a whole life together. Okay, cool. I missed it. Can I also be 100% honest? You are absolutely just a human. I don't know how you mean I'm a human pervert.

I'm seeing. Yeah. Horse Tinder is the most JPC creation I've ever heard in my life. Are we ready? Well, hold on. I just thought of a joke, which is that, how do you like your meat horse tender?

That's it. No, horse tender would of course be called hinder, but I was gonna say I Always hope the two horse if I see two horses in love. I always hope they have a stable relationship. Okay now I do another one. No, I'm all done. Well, I saw there's more to be done I saw a single horse and he was really out there running around in the field. It was just good to see a horse sowing as well, though. Love is the glue that holds their relationship together. I just dropped my phone.

That's what that sound was. Okay. Damnation chaos. Damnation chaos. So this would be hell freezes over. Hell, hell, half no fury chaos. Hell is other people. Hell is other people. Hell is crazy people.

Hell. Here I am. Rock me like a hell is other people. Hell is crazy people. It's for sure. The name of my third book, what I've really gone insane. That's the motto for New York City.

Okay. Hell and chaos. Hell. Wait. What's a damn nation. It really is. Damn nation and chaos. You, what is that damn nation in chaos? It really is. Damn nation in chaos. You have the word hell right.

So hell and then chaos would be a flurry of mess. Random. Hell, hell, hell. This is, we're all going to. Tom Hell or high water. Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, yeah, hell, yeah, hell, yeah, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hand bucket. Yeah. Hand bucket. Hell in a hand bucket.

Yeah, hell in a hand bucket. Where does that, where does that freeze stem from? I guess that's the first picture. I wanted to see a scene. I would like to see a scene. So Adel and Aaron, you are going to be two kids with human intelligence. Adel intelligence, human intelligence.

You're two kids with adult intelligence. With horse intelligence. Horse intelligence, yes, that's what I meant by adult. You're playing on the beach. You're building kids with adult intelligence with horse intelligence horse intelligence. Yes. That's what I meant by adult You're playing on the beach You're building a sand castle. I add all you have a sand pale and you have just found a portal to hell and a sand bucket Okay, and put some I'm gonna put some Spires over here and this is the moat of course, so Jennifer you can grab some water for the moat here and this is the moats of course so Jennifer you could grab some water for the moats.

I feel like you've decided that your head architect on this project and it just feels like I just blew prints. I'm happy to collaborate but it's just your architecture had a lot of sharp edges and I'm more I just feel like no no no I like it because it's more of like a Scandinavian style like I like something like sleek and I'm, no, I like it. I just feel more of like a Scandinavian style. Like I like sleep. And I'm more frank, influenced heavily by Frank Lloyd Wright, obviously, obviously. Uh-huh. It just feels like, and I, I, I love your artistic vision. And like, oh, thank you.

You're really great. It just thinks it comes in the building of it structurally. Like you almost killed our brother last summer when you bury him in the sand. Fair. No, and Jennifer, that's valid and I appreciate that. I take ownership of that. That's on me. I take on this. But it feels like some of your creations feel a little like tower of

Apple. Wait, is there something you know that spot? No, don't worry. It feels like it's like a crab. Well, there's a voice that's been speaking to me. What? Look, you don't hear it? No. Put it up to your ear. Oh, well, I hear the ocean. It's like a little song. All right, here we go. I'll put up to your ear. Oh, will I hear the ocean? It's like a little song.

Alright, here we go. I'll put up to my ear. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum I'm stabbing Hitler. I'm drowning Stalin. I am the devil and I'm in my home and it's hell. So anyway, I feel like a lot of the stuff you build tends to collapse due to the structural, you know, it's not structurally sound.

Honestly, it's just physics though. So it looks like the point of my design is it looks like it's not structurally sound. You're talking to me about physics. Hold on, there is a crab. You're talking to me about physics. There is a crab in this bucket That I think might be the devil he is a double-brown. That's a double-brown. That's a double-brown. Oh, yes. Yeah, he has a little top hat in the cane. Hello. What's your name crab? I

Feel like we're about to get a rhyming verse come on I love I love it. I love that you could have it into that song before you had the lyrics. And then you're like, uh, I don't know. Start stabbing Hitler. Um, confection ease. Uh, confection ease. Sweets, have your cake and eat it too.

Uh, it's easy like cake day, maybe. Two cakes. Don't make a good band. You got it, you have the right word. Cake, easy cake. Easy bake oven. Easy cake. Piece of cake. Piece of cake.

Yeah, piece of cake. Oh, that's easy cake, baby. You're on easy cake now. I would like to see a scene. You work at a bakery and you design cakes as your job. And JBC, you're coming in and you want Adel to write something on a cake that you do not want to put this on a cake. Okay. Oh and, did you want to try our special as a rye bread?

We also have some croissants. And I also do pastries, I do some, we have long johns, like a maple long john, and you see that cake display in front of you. I think I'm interested in doing one of the custom cakes. Oh, okay, custom cake, yeah, absolutely. So it's gonna be this cake right here, but it's pre-made, but then I can put whatever theme or

wording on top. You can, can you put something like happy birthday on the cake? Oh, no. I'm kidding, absolutely. That's our number one request. Okay, could you, could you put something, could you put something like, like an apology on the cake? Like I'm sorry on the cake? Oh, yeah, I've never had that before, but yeah, absolutely. I can put whatever you need, so. Could you put something like,

something like a happy anniversary on the cake? Yeah, is this all, is it gonna say happy birthday? I'm sorry, happy anniversary, is that what you want? No, no, I'm just trying to understand. I'm just trying to understand what kind of kicks that I could possibly. Yeah. If a person was having an argument with a dog,

what are you clutching in your hand there? This is a ghost. And if I'm holding it, if I hit it, it won't get out. If a person's having an argument with a dog about how many harmonica solos are in blues travelers the hook. Yeah. Hey dog thinks it's three. Hold on. The dog thinks it's three. The person knows. It should be better. It's a person knows that it's two. Get back in front of the counter please. Can you put on the cake? Uh-huh.

Listen up, dog. There are two harmonica solos. It blues travelers the hook. And if you don't believe me, and if you don't slay the baby, I'll put a ghost in your mouth. Oh, let me, I have to call the head baker. And her number is 91. It's a quick dial. It's 91. It's 91 quick dial. It's 91-1.

So let me just... It's the head baker needs to be in the head. Hello! Hello, head baker! Yep, it's me, head baker. Oh. Click. Sorry, wrong number.

Let me call the head baker. No way. Their number is 91-1. So let me press 9. Then 1-1. we present nine and one one is such a shortcut sure 91-1 your emergency hello head baker oh yeah okay what's up I have an issue here someone you know I'm sorry dude I'm having a bad day my husband forgot my birthday said happy and then honor anniversary gave me a cake that said happy birthday in quotes

I'm sorry so castically and then happy anniversary, so I'm just feeling a little bit on edge a little over Wow, I made that cake. Oh, well, that's not cute. Hello, hello Hello On a cake could I do a message to a dog about blues travelers to run around? Yes. Because the dog thinks that there are three harmonica solos in the run around, but I know that did not be true. I know that they are. Excuse me. I'm here to get a cake. I'm a dog. Oh no. Um Can you make a cake that says there are Harmonic there are three harmonica solos. Don't make that. Oh my god. It's you. It's you

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. See Happy birthday. Happy birthday, buddy. I love you so much. Oh, finally, a blue traveler scene. Finally, we got it. We snuck it in there. Finally. We snuck it in.

Clevver girl. Happy birthday. I'm sorry. Happy anniversary has got to be the funniest thing I've ever done in the game. I'm dying. That's so funny. This cake is for three different people. I can't afford three separate cakes.

Can you space it out so that we can slice it in a way? Um, ammo in door. Can I say real quick? I just want to say you can say the voice you're doing, there's a, there's a, I forget the show is maybe sound unsolved mysteries, but there's a, there was a serial killer in like the 70s who was named the Weepy Voice Killer. And he would call Voice Killer and he would call people and like he would call his victims before he came to the house or something and he would sound like he was about to cry and so he'd call someone and they'd play

the tapes on the episode I watched and they're like it's him on a payphone and he's like I did it again. Oh he'd call the police I sorry. He'd commit a crime then call a police and he'd be like I'm I'm I did again. I'm never gonna go to heaven now and say something like that I fucking hate that guy, but your voice is the exact exact timber and pitch of the the weepy voice killer Wait a minute. Hold on. They must have caught that guy. Hey, just a guy. Hold on. He escaped in anapolis No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no or like E N D U R E or I N D O O R. Or E N D U R E. Is it killed two birds with one stone? No. Okay. And that's also something a British serial killer might do.

I'm the stone, you're the two birds. I killed, I love, I killed two beds. Two women in the flat with one stone. That's super dark. With one stone, which is like, what, 22 pounds? It's like 16 pounds, something. 16 pounds? Which is of course our currency?

16 pounds, the way the console leaving a body. For these little Torah. All right, Shamphan. Ammunition endurance. Is bullet the word? Bullet. Number one with the bullet. Bullet, bite the bullets.

Bite the bullets? Yeah. Bite the bullet means to endure something. So it's one of those right. Oh, I see. I see, okay. To bite the bullet, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. It's not each word with that word means.

I was like, how is it by eating an indoor? But I see, I see. Yeah, it's what the phrase means. Coin common. Coin common. Pay the edge of me on his me on the. Save a penny, save a penny, make a penny. Nope.

Hey, take a penny, leave a penny. Take a penny, leave a penny. Take a penny, leave a penny, baby. Take a penny, little penny commercials, Sprite. Um, uh, JVC penny. JVC, so it's, Yeah, this one is JVC penny. I love your style.

It's coin and what? Coin and what? Coined and what? Common. Coyne, common. Common, you're just, you're a, you're a plain as, as plain as a penny. Ooh, you're a Nicholas six. Every penny has its day.

See if penny pick it up, fuck this penny, it is normal. Penny and common. Aaron, is it you're a Nicholas six? No. Is it your, is it your Nicholas X? No. Is it your quarter of four? It's a dime a dozen. I have more. A dime.

A dime. We're in the money. You're a second to we a dollar 100? Yeah, that's the common phrase. I want to see a quick scene. Aaron, you are a coin collector. You're looking through some old, you found that you had a garage shell box of old coins. and you're looking for like a special coin a certain

year or like made of a certain metal or just a special coin and you come across JPC who happens to be fairly normal and you're you're just letting him know that he's not special. Wait I'm sorry he's oh I'm the coin I'm the coin you're the coin gotcha gotcha gotcha. Put my gloves on. Hey they're pretty lady want to take me home What do I do? I want to take you home. Yeah, and the best coin of the bunch Best coin of the bunch and I can find a better coin. I can be good to you I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm pretty lady. You're hold on. Oh

Okay, you're a Nevada coin from 2018 and you want me to take you home. I'm one of those Nevada quarters, okay? I'm an official state quarter from 2018. Come on you. Oh God come that's what that is don't worry about it. Put me in your pocket. Take me home Hey, I wouldn't use you to pay for something. Why would? I'm practically useless as currency. I'm a collector's item. I've been everywhere, man. I've been everywhere, man. You ever been to the US, man? I've been there. I got, I told it once. Why do you think I got so passionate about collecting coins? I've been there. That's something we haven't common.

Would you even fit in like a vending machine? No! No, no, no, I'm altered. I'm altered. There's multiple layers of disgusting things. How many disgusting people's pockets? Pockets, not many. Mouths, stomachs, butts, a lot. I'm a coin you've seen some things.

You ever heard of Magic School Bus? It's basically my life story. Come on. Which part of Magic School Bus? You've been inside someone's body? Oh yeah! Many, many times over. Many, many times over. One person twice! Come on, take me home. I got soy setel.

I have a story to tell you. One time, a girl named Aaron Keefe accidentally poured a Dunkin' Donut ice coffee inside of her purse. And she was too sad and depressed to clean out her purse. And then more crumbs and dust got happen in it. And then she looked at the coins at the bottom and she didn't even realize they were coins at first because they were sticky from the ice coffee

and they were covered in gunk. You, Aaron? Aaron? You did it again. What? You're treating this podcast as therapy. Oh, I'm sorry. The world is on fire. Go back into the scene. Go back into the scene. Okay. Um, I guess it really started when I was a kid.

I'm good. I'm gonna put me back. Aaron seen. Is that okay? Seen? No, no, I hold on. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah, well, I'm to give you a little backstory. This is what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a 1970 Rhode Island border. And I'm also looking for the kind of love that makes you feel safe. Why are you walking away? Keep seeing, she keeps talking.

As Erin keeps talking about our problems, we're gonna go to break. We just have to break. we have to go to break Typical men afraid of therapy But we'll be we'll be right back after Aaron is done with her session here. I'm a coin Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble.

I just need help. I'm, um, pranking, adult, and I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, okay. I just need some advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking, uh, Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to

see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand square space makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience and sell anything for products that cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Otto come come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like,

is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New and easy to answer, and And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank site. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

No, the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for. Frank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back.

Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don on sounds. Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me

in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. There never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist. And you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. R-I-D-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e.

R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two d. I am home. Who are we? Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions.

Monitor your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clean, clean, clean.

Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million. Oh, clean, clean, clean. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, no, no, stop, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website Ragnarang, clank, clank, clank. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick. And we're back and Aaron has just completed her therapy session.

Aaron, how do you feel? And that's why I'm afraid of getting caught in a fish tank. Oh, I feel fine. Because you watched the movie Venom. I've never seen that movie All right, let's finish up. Get caught in that fish tank. I lose my whole shit. I Was screaming in the theater other comic book movies are afraid to go where venom went And I'll just I'll say it. I'll say it Aaron. What else do we have on today's episode?

Well, we are only halfway through Rome's puzzles. So the next one is fracture luck. And it's really check off fish tank, too, because you see the fish tank in the first act. And you know, it's got to be used. You know, it's falling in that. Vittams falling in that. How many harmonica solos are in venom? Too many?

One, two, three, four, five. It's like a Spiderman of three when he goes like dark. It's like dark Toby Biguari, he just grabs a herbock. He just jams on it for a couple of minutes. Well, there's a scene where there's like a chase scene and Venom accidentally goes into a house of blues and Bruce Wills is playing.

So that's, that's, there's like 10 right there. He says, Hudson Hawk, toss me a guitar. I'm not so competitive, I never saw it air what's I hate it here I'll be on this bullshit show was people talk at Nazim about a fucking movie they've never seen Unbelievable I miss women Where are the women? Okay?

Fracture luck. Fracture luck. Break a leg. Yeah. Break a leg. You old savings and a loan Climate illness. I want to see a scene illness Aaron and JPC. He works. Aaron and JPC you are two high schoolers in a high school play a very well-known play and One of you at some point literally breaks your leg Before you say another words Before you say another word, Javair! Oh, you... Shade me up like a slave again, listen to me! There is something I must do.

This woman leaves behind a suffering child. They're none but me who can intercede and mercy's name. Three days are all I need. Then I return, I pledge pledge my word then I'll return Now now Boo Bradley come out of that tree That's your daughter my daughter's playing cuz that the sickly prostitute There's no reason to be in that tree there Boo Bradley come on out of there Mad I found did you across the years a man like you can never change We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court.

We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court.

We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go to the court. We had a go's so one. This movie's in black and white. How dare you ladies and gentlemen of the court. I'll tell you what, you leave that poor buradly alone. It seems like it's all kind of out of order. Miss Stephanie's another character in the movie. Seems very out of order. Well, here comes the big dance scene. Let's hope everything goes okay.

Pass. Pass. We do a pass on this one. Let's see. Oh, thank God. They got a pass on that scene. That would have been awful to watch. Yeah, thank God.

Thank God. You're here, mocking bird singing the the song of the poor it's killed Scout is a kid in the movie and she will be scout again She's wearing overall and she likes to play outside And that poor rat please it is true. And someone died. Oh my God. From now on, anytime you do a musical, you should allow to yell pass in the one number that is not very good. I do love to kill him is a rock.

Okay, the reason why we started laughing is because JPC opened his mouth to initiate. The sound was about to move past his vocal cords and I started singing because I'm a jerk. It is in that moment that I decided that we were in to kill a mockingbird. I was like, no matter what she says, we're at the kill a mockingbird. Which is something you do at least four times a show is we'll start a scene and you're like, nope, we're in a to kill a mockingbird and you'll make subtle hints and references. You'll I can't stress this enough I've seen Adel and JPC yes and so quickly and more professionally and funny than like anyone

They are so good at it and because they're so good at it. That's why they refuse to do it I won't do it I won't do it if you get it something if you get they refuse to do it. I won't do it. I won't do it. If you good at something, if you good at something, never do it for free. If you want to see me do it well, paytrot.com. Hey, Rital Rital, this is the free show. We only do bad stuff here. It's like when Michael Jordan quit to play baseball. That's what we are. We're like, no, we're like, we're at the top of our game. We're done. Let's go, let's go to Birmingham and. It's like in the middle of a Michael Jordan basketball game when he would build it into me, the person on the other team. Let's go. Let's go to Burberry Ham and right. It's like in the middle of Michael Jordan basketball game when he would build it into me. The person on the other team.

In five seconds. I think I was going to be there about to go. I actually never saw Michael Jordan play basketball. That's about to happen in five seconds. Okay. Climate illness. Climate illness. So this is love in the time of cholera. The famous catchphrase. Climate illness. Sick is a wet dog. So this is love in the time of cholera, the famous catchphrase. Climate.

Climate. Illness. Sick is a wet dog. Ooh, climate. So heat. As hot. As hot as a sickly dog. Hey, you hot, you hot sick fuck.

Hey. Hey, you hot sick fuck. Yeah. That's my pickup line. Hey, you hot sick fuck. Climate weather. Weather. What is, what your whistle. Climate weather. Yeah, that's my pickup line. Hey, you had sick fuck Climate weather weather. What is what your whistle climate weather weather illness weather illness under the weather What it's illness. Oh very good very good. Um, all right the next one

Medication calm. Medication con. Calm. C-A-L-M, I'm sorry. Oh. Oh, calm. Calm. Calm. Calm. So, Aaron, do you say if Sean's acting crazy, do you tell him to calm down? I call him calm. Coil.

So, do you think it's calm air? Calm. I like calm air. Do you think it's a big movie? Do you think calm air? Do you think calm media isn't calm air? He is. He think, do you think, do you think, cold manidious and calm there? He is, he plays, saying the word calm feels a lot like throwing up calm.

Calm, calm. Do you think that Sean Calmary just died? Oh, that was sad, huh? You gotta get rid of that. When you go to Los Angeles, do you say, look at all these calm trees? Yeah, I say, look at all these calm trees. I say about Sean Calmary's death, what I say whenever my dad goes jogging, he had a good

run. What was the two words? Well, I say about Sean Connery's death, I absolutely believe in reincarnation and you're the man now, dog. Do you know what's in coming back as a dog? Aaron, do you know what time Sean Connery went to take his racket and whack a ball back and forth? Around tennis. Okay, that's fun.

That's about as much fun as you can have as an American right now. That's our limit. That's as much fun as you can have with that break in the sweat, baby. The reason we're laughing so much, the reason we're being so goofy and fucking wonky is because we're living in a pre-election world. We're living in a Monday, and you fools are walking around in Wednesday in a days. We're acting so wonky, because this is really wonky in the riddle factory.

I'm sorry for a little galos humor. You bet, he died. Okay, please, I have more riddle. Okay, yes, ma'am. Medication, calm. So medication, so, yes, yes ma'am. Medication calm. So medication, so this would be a spoonful of sugar. No. This would be, oh, I got it, I know it.

Yes. Yes, it's take a chill pill. Yay. I dare you to say that to someone in your life the next time they are freaking out and having a reasonable emotional reaction. So much. A reasonable emotional reaction sometimes. A reasonable emotional reaction you would never do that.

You would only tell someone to take a chill pill if they were blowing up at something, like someone yelling at a waiter, you'd be like, whoa, take a chill pill. Well, you're normal and a good person. Well, hold your words. That would tell you to take a chill pill. Yeah, and times when you're acting reasonably,

when you're the waiter being like, please don't yell at me and the guy yelling at you is like, whoa, take a chill pill? Yeah, and times when you're acting reasonably, when you're the waiter being like, please don't yell at me. And the guy yelling at you is like, whoa, take a chill pill. I feel like this harkens back to like- That's a sitcom. I feel like this harkens back to the 60s when prescription drugs were just like,

they just give you whatever. Like they'd give you basically cocaine in a pill. And people would, like women would get pills for like fainting or something like, right? I feel like chill pill was probably like oxy-contin and they probably gave it out 80 pills at a time. And if someone was being emotional, they'd be like take a chill pill and they give them,

you know, whatever. So they'd be like, That's what they'd call lobotomies, chill pills. I know in the most, in the most heated argument that I've ever been in my entire life, we both mutually agreed that we would step back. We would take a chill pill. We took MDMA.

We had one of the craziest next four hours. Mid-argument. Take a mid-argument break. You took a Molly pill. Did Molly trip? You know, Sans don't do it. It's derude. Yeah, this is 2000 and 700. You're being so. No,, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Halfway through the fight someone's like take a chill pill. Oh, so it would be like an MDMA

See someone in a fight like that and one person just goes stop Stop Got him regurgers just heals. I'm telling mom um footwear shock Footwear. Oh footwear shock high heel price tags am I right ladies uh sneakers surprise footwear shock um lightning lightning on the diamonds on the souls of her lightning uh shoe is it shoe gum shoe gum nice try gum shoe carbon sandy egocent Santa Marina up. But who up? Debrita harmonica solo

Well, she's been around the stuff right we're getting gold. Nav yeah, I'm gonna let you guys tie yourself out So I get a good nap out of both of you jokes on you. Well, we never tie She wear shock shock. Well, it's actually one of my favorite jolt. Boer jolt phrases ever Sands sandal surprise kick rocks hit the bricks. My name is kick kick I'll give me a hint. Okay, okay? Twice done pipe And we're not hitting on I know, if you want me, twice on a pipe. Here, and we're not hitting on you.

What? Is that knock? I guess you don't know that song. Knock? Knock? How is that footwear? Knock? Footwear and shock?

Don't knock my shoes. Knock. Oh, I'm gonna knock your socks off. Oh, those are knock off shoes. I see. Knock your socks off. I'm gonna knock your socks off. That's such a fun, cute thing human did. Humans did. I see. You were not. Not for socks off. I'm going to knock your socks off. That's such a fun cute thing human did.

Humans did. Human did. Human did. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to see a scene. I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Adel, Aaron, you are both a deities.

Let's call you. We'll make you a limp, a limpian gods because I've been playing Hades not stop. Can I be a limpian biscuit? Boy, you can be a limpia do caucus, so that's all you get. You're, you're, uh, moon lighting. You're both Olympian gods, you're looking down at the mortals and you're describing like the very,

the such a cute things that they're doing. Oh, they're so cute. Oh my god, oh my god, look at this, look at this. Oh, look. Look, they're buying each other jewelry when they like each other. Oh, they've been trying objects are worth something. They like to decorate the people they love, like the people they love are Christmas trees. Oh, that is so beautiful.

That is adorable. Oh, look, look, they've domesticated one of the wild beasts and they put their hand on its head and make and that makes them feel good about themselves That the creature hates it, but but the human feels good about themselves So cute. Oh my god, they're singing they sing to each other on the day that they were born. This is so cute She's here in top Hey, baby is born. Oh, hey, he's get out of here. Hey, I'm soon you'll be mine. Hey, I don't know why we're scared of you.

You're a crap with the top hat in a case. I'm stabbing Hitler even though who he ain't been born. Look, he's up here. I'm here with a lightning bolt. Please. Hey, these, hey, these. All right, come here. Come here. You can't do the light bolt. It just makes me I mean, he's up here. I'm gonna hit him with a lightning bolt, please. Hades, Hades. All right, come here, come here. You can't do the lightning bolt.

It just makes me horny. That, all the context you need to get the joke. Um, right, last one. Utility, water fowl. Utility, water fowl. Utility. Utility. Comment swan. Oh.

Yeah, it's comment swan. Good night, everybody. Utility, water fowl. Fuck like a duck. Which means I didn't get wet because of the way my feathers are. Fowl? Fuck like a duck. Hahaha. Uh... Which means I didn't get wet because of the way my feathers are. Hahaha. And I...

You fucked me like a duck. It was the worst lay I had in my entire life. You have a corkscrew penis, sir. You... I fucked like a duck. There's a lot happening below the surface and nothing happening up top. It's like milk off a duck's back. Ugh. Uh... You... Utility is that what you said?

Futility. Futility. Futility. Waterfowl. Swan. Swan song. Swan, run, Swan song. What are some waterfowls?

So we have swans, we have ducks. We have. This is just set up to do swan lumps, is it? No. Okay, thank God. Because I already found. Contrashually, we'll not do that. Aaron is ducted right.

Contractually. I am contractually obligated. I am contractually obligated. I built this thing in the inventory. I'm in inventory. Aaron is duct or correct word part of it? No. Is Swan?

Goose. Uh huh. Goose. Goosey. What's good for the goose? No. For the water bill. Goosey. What's good for the goose? No. For the water bill. Lucy, Lucy. What's good for the goose? I have a question for you guys.

This is actually a question that Mariah asked me the other day. Would you say that you're more Lucy or more goosey? Like where do you land on the Lucy Goosey's back? I'm more goosey because I get uptight in terms of like, I don't like to, I don't like, I have very specific things I like and don't like. I'm more Lucy because I'm constantly tricking men who have very little hair with a football. To kick a football? Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm more Lucy and it's like a real reason like I don't say it because I'm way more uptight and stringent and so Aaron's the only one that did a joke answer for that. And you also, you also have to do that? Yeah, I'm the one making too many jokes on the podcast. Fuck all y'all. Oh, I hit my wall today, motherfuckers. Oh!

Oh, you want to hear Lady Go Crazy? Put her on a riddle podcast for 120 fucking episodes. Put her on a closet that's 150 degrees. Have her sweating work. We're all at a break. I know what to do. God damn moisturizer. Oh yeah, have her do riddles. I guess we should just listen.

Have her do improv with boys who are so good at yes and but they get on a riddle podcast and they do no but. They talk about butts. First of all, I'm gone. I would never say Adela has no butt. That guy's, it's junk on a truck. Oh, caboose, baby. It's a Kentucky duck season, whatever he walks in.

They call me Mike. My husband is the same as a Kentucky duck. I'm the one who's been talking to me tonight. All right. Oh, Donkey Donnie. Oh, tonight I talked to you. Longer Ray and a trash bag. Oh no.

Aaron's actually like she goes the result of the election donkey donnie I finally went insane do you broke me do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do I can fix the phone. And seed. Oh, I'm just getting started. I need a glass of water and a blanket. I think that's what the podcast is now. Honestly, I was looking at taking an episode and cutting a trailer out of it. It's just like maybe like a two minutes of like what we do best. And that might be it. That might be our new trailer

We should send that to perspective guests and be like would you like to do it? It's just like an improv riddle part of it. I just said the bad God guys, I'm begging you no one take that out of context Aaron the next time you are the next time you audition for something Will you do what you just did as a monsoon? Oh yeah, 100%. It'll be for like a folder's commercial. I know just be that. The best hard to do. D-D-D-D. Dunky losing my mind. Six months from now, someone is going to send us one of those, like, what are those called, those animatics, those animatics, like those, like, digital animations of just that two but it's of the show.

Oh yeah, the animatics, that's wacko, yakko and dot. That one was wild goose chase. And now, thank you so much from those amazing. Wild goose chase. Okay. Can I ask a dumb question? Yeah. Aren't all geese wild?

So shouldn't it just be, this is, this heart is fast. I had a professor in college that was a goose. So no. Sorry, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. I had a math professor in college that was a goose and he'd waddle in and sort of just fly to the top and hit a little piece of chalk in his mouth. And he would like write the equations on the board. And if we got it right, he'd honk. Okay, I need to see a scene. JPC, you are Professor Goose, Aaron and I are your students and this is the first A class.

Oh, whoa, shoot, shoot, get out of here, shoot! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, is Professor. Street Creek, eight streets, street Creek, street Creek. Oh, let me shut the door for you. It's like, I just, I know, no hands. My name is Professor Goose. And welcome to math class, geometry, math class, colon geometry. Oh, I see, we have a question already. Yes, I do.

I'm not so sorry. And I don't know if this is offensive. Is it common for uh, geese goose's to have goose as their last name? Uh, no, uh, that's it's not offensive. Thank you for asking the question. Uh, my name is Mr. Goose because uh, geese don't get to pick their own names. Uh, they're named, they're named by humans. And so, oh my God. What? I look like a goose. Oh, were you spit on by a witch?

Oh, brother, it was the one of the biggest looogies that's ever hit me in my life. Yes, so here's the thing. I'm a man, I'm a human man. I was up in a witch's business. I was yelling at her. I was a tear in her hair. I was given in a witch's business. I was yelling at her. I was tearing her hair. I was giving her the business.

I was really yelling at this witch. You know, just because I'm a bad guy and everything like that. Anyway, another witch comes up, spits on the back of my neck, boom. Turns me into a goose. She said, basically, you want a Hong Kong, Hong Kong. Okay, we have another question from the lady of the front. A lot of questions out of you.

That's good. Yeah. You're gonna like math. Are you, are you really actually a goose, but you're also just a pervert? Well, I don't know. Would you consider it a perversion? Because I think I'm normal for a goose. I got his phone.

Oh, look, he's got Gander. Oh boy, it's Gander. Oh. Oh. It's, yeah, it's Gander. And I'm looking to do a little mountain, if you don't have said. It's gander mountain ashamed that people are familiar with. I can't say that it is.

You don't know it. Oh, man, people from Indiana are going crazy right now. For unrelated reasons. Pass. Well, sure. See, pass, see. See, pass. Um, do we have time to do one more? Pat. Well, sure. See the past. See the past.

Do we have time to do one more? Yes, Aaron. We have plenty of time to do one more. All right. This is from Keith. Hey, Clu Crew. Love the show. Thanks for being awesome. Hey, Keith. Thank you for being awesome. Thank you for the rolling stones. This is Keith R, Actually, which is funny.

Whoa. Denise Richards is dad. So the first riddle they sent is from an episode of Star Trek. And the second riddle they sent, they made up. Okay, if I haven't seen the episode yet, will this be a spoiler for it? It will be a spoiler and it will also absolutely not make sense out of context from the episode. So I hope everyone's seen this one episode of Star Trek Voyager. Thank God. I probably have. Aaron, we get to choose which one we want.

I'll just take the first one. It's fine. No. You can't separate twins at all. A man, unless it's for a parent trap, can you believe that they separated those two girls and just brought the brim? Is that the brim? Is that the brim?

Yeah, that is the premise. One twin goes to England, one twin goes to Northern California, which is like a sick deal. So the doctors separated them or the parents did? The parents did. They made the parents made the conscious decision to separate those kids. Did you guys see three identical strangers? No, but I know the documentary.

I think it's on like Hulu right now, where I just watched it last night. I saw it in theaters. It is so fucking good. It's wild. City of South America watching that. Yeah, yeah, yeah., I think it's on like, Hulu right now, where I just watched it last night. I saw it in theaters, it is so fucking good. It's wild. It's so, I'm gonna watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta watch it. But I've had it.

I won't tell you any part of it, but you should watch it. I'm still gonna watch it. You should definitely watch it. It's streaming somewhere, because we just watched it yesterday. Actually, I'm so sorry to do this. Aaron, you haven't seen it. I haven't seen it either.

I'm still gonna watch it, but I do have something spoiled. And anytime I have something spoiled, I want to ruin it for other people. So Aaron, I'm gonna let you know. No, don't get downy. I'm still gonna watch it, but I do have something spoiled. And anytime I have something spoiled, I wanna ruin it for other people. So Aaron, I'm gonna let you know. No, don't ski, don't eat. It's the same guy. It's the same guy.

It's the same guy. I thought it. He was just racing near mirrors. Aaron, I truly thought you were gonna say Dunkichito. Dunkichino. I look gonna go insane. My brain is not great. But Aaron just did the pants

labyrinth thing where she put her hands over her eyes. So, it was terrifying. And the pants labyrinth thing where she has eyeballs on her head. Ha! This was a social experiment that didn't work. Turned out, okay. No, I do love this being on the show.

It is a highlight of my week to record these. I am going crazy, but for unrelated reasons. Okay, a man is stranded on a desert island. All he has managed to salvage from his shipwreck is a calendar. There is no food of any kind on the island, yet the man manages to survive for a full year until he's rescued. How? The calendar is Marie calendar.

It's pies. He eats the pies on Marie calendar. No. Come on, give it to me. God, can you imagine just the image of a guy alone on an island eating pie? He eats the pies on Marie calendar. No. Come on, give it to me. God, can you imagine just the image of a guy alone on an island eating pie? It's not a calendar.

It's a calzone dendur. And he eats the calzone's new calendar. I know, that was very clever, but no. Thank you. And I know how he survives. How? August, he just does. I know how he survives here. I know how he survives. I know how he survives.

He didn't. Do you lie to me? I'm gonna march right out of here. If you guys don't take this seriously, he Survived awful flanuary. He may may I survive. May. What else? He killed a deer and cooked it over the September's of the fire Or november's or The number of December's yeah, because if you don't eat June go to die June to go to die February

May I go March on out of here, but uh Okay, Aaron does it have to do with a month Not a month is it a day? He was first he was first I know it. I know it. I know it. And then he had seconds He was first he then he had seconds and that lasted him all month He was weak hold on he didn't need so he was weak and then one day He had a month full

Attle I promise you it's like monkeys in a room bright and Shakespeare if we let attle do this a long enough We just dream of conscious. He will get this. He will let all this answer Yeah, keep going at it. What's the closest? I'm locked in I know it so I'm locked in oh, I got it. Maybe okay. Let's hear no let Adel talk a little I was being Lucy now. I'm back. I'm back. I'm talking. I finally gave you the floor and all of a sudden Well, it seems like Adel is found the floor is actually lava Aaron. Was that one of them the floor and all of a sudden. Well, it seems like Adelaide's found that the floor is actually lava. Aaron, was that one of them, the floor is lava? I look like a Tim Burton character right now.

I didn't at the beginning of my story. I know the answer. I know the answer. He ate what's 12 times four. Let's see your quick math. 142. He ate all the dates and Sundays. Yeah, he ate all the dates and stuff.

I was literally about to say he ate 142 Sundays. He ate all of the dates, but at the end of the time, he was 52 weeks to be able to leave the island. Perfect. Well, you guys had a lot of very funny answers, but not the correct one. Aaron, I hear, I hear the content that you're saying, but the tone of voice suggests it wasn't funny.

No, it is funny. I can't even, I look like, even as they're saying now, is the tone is that what it was in funny. I look like if a girl was in an ensemble member in a high school production of Sweeney Todd right now. That's sort of my vibe and my look. That's how crazy I've gone. You mean mockingbird Todd? Yes, exactly. All right, if you're cool, you can give it or not. If you're hot, you can do it a lot. Too naughty for many, but still it's used a plenty if it comes before boy he's a thought. I know it. It's a fuck. You can give plenty a fox. If you're hot you can get a ton of it a fox.

Will it save us of it? You got it. What did the fuck say? Why does that fuck say? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Wait, was that real? Yes, fucks. Holy shit. Hey, you got it. Thank you, Keith. Keith, you're amazing. You're amazing. Just the way you Keith. Keith on, keeping on.

Hey, and Keith, say hi to your daughter, Dr. Christmas Joe for us. She's a wonderful guy. Wow, thanks. To these Richards is bond character. Do you know that Denise Richards is on Real Housewives now? She's one of the Real Housewives. Yeah, she's been on it for a few years I think, which is wild. I catch it in bits and glipses. That's wild. Is she the one that killed

somebody? No, that's Rebecca Gayheart. I think Rebecca Gayheart killed someone. Wow. Look it up. In cases, in cases, you look it up. In case this is you look at that. How's everyone doing? What's that? Let's do a quick sanity check in. Aaron, can I say something? How are you doing? I think you brought up the sanity check to gauge your own sanity. How are you? Good. I'm glad I got to have that four hour therapy session during our break. It definitely helped, but it definitely cracked me open. It also helped us because now we can chop that up into four Patreon episodes. Patreon releases, yeah.

Absolutely. JPC, how are you doing? I think it would be interested in doing a therapy episode and then releasing that as a Patreon. Absolutely not. Do you think I could get like a therapist? I'm sure I could find a therapist that would send off a thing. There's a therapist on Real Housewives sometimes. I don't know what season of what show I get like a therapist? I'm sure I could find a therapist that would send off a thing. There's a therapist on real housewives sometimes.

I don't know what season of what show I've seen a therapist. And I'm like, why is this therapist agreeing to have this session filmed for real housewives? That seems illogical, but I would do it. I would do it for Patreon. I would never do a therapy session on Patreon, but I would have a therapist on just to talk to a therapist. None.

Here's my rule of thumb. Anything Metallica has done, I would do. I think it would be interesting to watch me do a therapy session with a therapist because I think it would help like demystify therapy because one of the things that makes therapy so scary for people is that they've like, they don't do it, you can't experience it because it is so private.

So just putting like a general therapy session out there into the world, then people would be like, oh, that's all therapy is, it's just talking about the way that I do that. That actually makes sense, although. Making some coping mechanisms. And you should take therapy seriously and it's amazing and it can change your life.

But also, I've fully just decided that for a patron episode, I'm gonna do a therapy session with JP Rittles. But also, if everything is content, right? So it all should be taken seriously and honored, but also if you can make a fucking book out of it. I'm going to go squeeze in your fingers. Ooh, I like that money. I like that money.

I don't know how you're doing. I'm just mostly concerned about Aaron. Aaron, are you okay? I'm great. Okay. I'm fine. Given the circumstances of the world, I'm just mostly concerned about Aaron. Are you okay? I'm great. Okay. I'm fine. Given the circumstances of the world, I'm totally good. Okay.

Okay. Great. But if anybody, I know that this is a really intense week, and if you need to message me an Instagram event, I totally understand or, yeah, let me know how we can be better allies and help you and help you feel safe and all that. I'm read an interesting book about how we should stop using the word ally and start using the word comrad But we don't need to socialize you guys on the podcast too much But I've been hearing the word ally used and thrown around so much

That and I think that the reason like comrad is more useful is it's like, it's not just like, hey, I'm here not experiencing that to support you, it's like, yes, I am a person who's in it with you and experiencing it with you, which is like the essence or the crux of it. I love that, because it feels less on the outside looking in. I think, oh, how to phrase this.

I feel like that's cool that you said that, but I'm not going to refer to my favorite breakfast club actress as Comrade Sheety, if that makes sense. So I'm not into it, I'm sorry. I respect your opinion. It's my opinion and that's all that matters. Adel, do you have something that you would like to plug? Check out our podcast.

I do called Hello from the Magic Tavern. We also have some bonus content on stitch your premium All kinds of fun stuff come in that way and Also, I just started today. I started the show based on rob white suggestion my friend rob white Not the listener whose name is rob white. No, perhaps because confused little Bobby white from Pittsburgh I started watching Ted lasso, which I saw commercials for. It's like an Apple TV original, and I was like, hard, past. It's Jason Cedake is coaching a soccer club in England,

and I was like, no, thanks, this looks awful. I started watching it based on his recommendation, and it is fantastic. So if you have Apple TV, watch Ted Lasso, it is full of heart and humor, and it's just really well done. And I'm very excited to watch the last three episodes tonight. I will plug something that I've been watching that I just kind of found on HBO Max that I think I had heard about but surprised me so much.

And it's so funny and heartwarming and kind of sad and very weird. It's an adult swim show called Joe Parrot Talks to you, 10-minute episodes. So there's a bunch of Chicago people in it, which is fun to see. They're just gonna pop up. It is so good. I've been really enjoying it. And then also you can go read a Comrad, an essay on political belonging by Jody Dean. That's a fun read. It's quick too. Where did you get it? Did you like download it? Or? Yeah, you can get it an ebook on Verso Books, v-e-r-v-e-r-s-o books, and I think when I got it, it was like on sale or something, but maybe it's not anymore. I don't know, but I just got the digital digital version of it. On my brother's recommendation, so thanks Jesse, you'll listen to this

in seven months, so thank you to you. He's very behind. Thank you to the recommendation. Aaron, anything that you would like to plug? Um, I'll just, I don't know. I hope everyone's okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do. I'm here for everybody in any way that I can. Aaron, another place that you are often for, I wouldn't say any body because it's not necessarily bodies unless you're carrying a planter bodies,

have the heavenly bodies as we would say and not I'm not talking about my own physique although I have been working out for 14 so what could say it is kind of a heavenly body that you often go to Aaron and that place is Dunkin Donuts Don't get Cheeto Boston forever Jupiter now I like the new ending. I like to do it to go live. Dunkin' Donuts, Dunkichito, Boston Forever. Jupiter. The job's Patrick calling. Casey Tony to the editing. I already heard it in the music video.

Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and M.O.N.N. Morris. Baby, you're in the most deep, big, or hate-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-witch-w