Hey Riddle Riddle - #122: Rebel With A Cause! with Jake & Amir

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

We're on our best behavior because we have our Network Daddies, Jake & Amir (CollegeHumor, If I Were You, founders of HeadGum), on the podcast and they're thirsty for answers! We invent some famous musicals, snag some BBQ at DinseyWorld, go to musical camp and meet the saddest insects in nature! Enjoy and if you have a chance, check out The Clue Crew guesting on a recent episode of Jake & Amir's podcast If I Were You and sample all the other wonderful podcasts on the HeadGum network!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Cool, everybody ready? Yeah, I'm ready. And again, thank you guys so much for doing this. Oh, you're welcome. We do this every week, so not you. Not you, Jake and I remember, sorry, I'm talking to you. My bed, my bed, of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head.

He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head.

He's got a lot of stuff in his head. He's got a lot of stuff in his head. or hit Rick the Rick Dome. Oh, JPC Aaron. Hey, JPC Aaron. What, I'm up. Sorry, I just got my ballot. Who are you voting for? Rities or Puzzies? I feel like you're not supposed to crawl under ballot this and check and see how you're voting.

You're not supposed to sleep no mither, but you just woke up, huh? It's really warm here. It was a long ballot. We took a nap. There's a lot of like, you know, local propositions that we have to go on. So many judges.

So many judges. So much to learn facts about all these judges. I just, first of all, I just don't believe in the two party system. So I don't think we should have to be, I should have to be riddies or pussies. No, why not lateral thinking problems? Why not, why not, you know, that the world is bigger than just be ready or pussies. No, why not lateral thinking problems? Why not why not you know that the world is bigger than just riddies and pussies Aaron

Don't be that guy jbc isn't a vote for lateral thinking problems and that just throwing away your vote Hey, I could have thrown away my vote at home. I'm here for the snacks Adelaire you using a crayon I feel like your vote's not gonna count and I'm writing in Jill Stein for every blank space. Okay, cool. Guys, I voted for Kanye, what? Oh, can we hear what? It's Kanye West, not Kanye, what?

They're not gonna count that vote. Oh, here I'm gonna write in a new vote. I'm gonna write in Adler, if I. I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron Keith. And welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle, a divisive political podcast. I'm about all things, Riddle Rittle, a divisive political podcast. What? A lot.

A lot. All things, Riddle, St. Fuzzies, and what each platform they're running on. Uh-huh. We are, we're living in a post-election world, hopefully. And we're in Chicago. Chicago's having some unseasonably warm weather. What, what do you guys been up to?

Anything fun, any outdoor time? How are the animals doing? We're also having an unseasonably large spike in COVID cases as well. The state with the most COVID cases right now. Probably unrelated. I have been inside my apartment. I think Monday goes into effect the lockdown, right? We're going back to lockdown Monday. I think so, yes. This, interesting in the last three days, every sink in my apartment has broken. Now there are only two sinks in my apartment,

but we were doing the dishes the other night, and the pipe underneath the sink just fell off of the connected pipe and flooded everything underneath. And then today we were running the bathroom sink and a whole just appeared inside of it. Are you shaving at every sink? And that's why it's like filled with air and starting to break?

I think I might kick in my sleep and feel like I'm maybe kicking the sinks of my sink. Well, we're not alone. We have guests. We have guests and not just any guests. We have very important guests. Guests, we're all of us are wearing suit and ties. We easily, I think they are our dads. Yes, we're all of us are wearing suit and ties. Because we're...

We believe I think they are our dads. Yes, we have on our network daddies, our network dad and dad. You might know them from college humor, the Jake and Amir show, you might know them from if I were you podcast. You might know them from the Vimeo series, Lonely and Hornie.

Please welcome, ooh, and I'm gonna switch things up. Please welcome Amir and Jake. Yes. Whoa. Oh, finally. Yeah. That says, I am your dad and now you're in trouble. No.

Across the line, kid. Amir and Jake sounds way better, does it not? No, no, it does not. Don't let that stick. Don't let that stick. Who's the chill dad and who's the dad, who's worried that we're not back from our party yet? Ooh, great question.

Jake is more of a party animal, but I don't know if that would make him a chill dad or a strict dad, because he knows what kind of deferious shit's going on out there. Yeah. That's true. I'm at home sort of just doing nothing, but I also don't believe in anything very staunchly, so do whatever the hell you want.

I feel like a mere of the dad that sits you down and is like, buddy, if you're gonna masturbate, I prefer you do it in the house. That's exactly what I'm saying. You're kind of masturbating. Do it in my room. I prefer you do it in the penthouse. Dad.

Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. And use my websites. Yes, only at Orney. Yeah, and give me your login. So the founders of HeadGum podcast network,

Amir and Jake, Jake and Amir, thank you so much for doing this. We have to ask, since we are a podcast, somewhat about riddles and puzzles, what is your, the two of you, what is your relationship with riddles, what's your relationship with puzzles, lateral thinking problems. What do we get? I have a history of like joke books, buying like joke books as a kid, and when you're like up until

the age of 12, I would say every joke is just a riddle. So I have that basis. Like there's no difference between a joke and a popsicle stick in a riddle. it's just a silly question. And that kind of informed my sense of humor for probably a third of my life. So I feel uniquely qualified to try to answer some of these riddies and or puzzies. Perfect, perfect. I'm a bad mix of competitive and dumb. So I will, I'm gonna be very frustrated right away

when I can't solve a riddle. Perfect, we call that dumbpedative. Yes, that's me. Golden Retriever Syndrome. Yeah, my wife says that I am a dog. A golden retriever specifically. When we get frustrated and angry around here, we call JPC names.

So if you are looking for like sort of a punching bag or a place for your anger. That's great. Yeah. And to me, it's a, I don't, an expression of sexual bliss. So I welcome it. Oh, sexual, sexual bliss. The teacher from Save By The Vell. Nice. Good morning, sexual bliss. We're all 38. We're 38. What we have you to hear, we have to ask. We got to get the inside scoop. What when you found out that you had brought on board a podcast about riddles and puzzles,

what were you guys thinking, what was your reaction? What has been like being father to a riddle podcast? I was kind of jealous that I didn't come up with it myself. That's a great idea. It's like, fuck, that could have been our podcast. Perfect. We don't ever know what to talk about. Are this riddle adjacent? It's like advice so people are asking us what we should do. So it's kind of like an open ended riddle, but it's like, oh, only we just thought of the riddle podcast, then we wouldn't have to like rely on people's sexual trauma to find out

what kind of answers, questions we should answer. So yeah, it was probably filled with rage. I have a kind of, I vaguely remember talking about this show when it was like a pitch, and we were talking through a riddle, and it just like fully was dawning on us, like, oh, this is such a good podcast. Look at us, look at us discussing riddles.

What's funny is, you know, we're like 120 episodes and right now we're almost completely out of riddles. By the way, we have been saying that since like episode 15, so soon we will just be an advice podcast. So, right up your sexual trauma, say the Doverdart, you've got a lot of us. No, we ran out of sex questions. I think around episode 100, all of us, we're running on fumes now. We're almost like we're four or 500 episodes. We have nothing left, nothing in the

tank. Don't you guys worry. Don't let it little thing like run it out of riddles stuff. I would have respected it so much if you had said no to us and then started a riddle podcast that way. I'd have been like, you know what? Powered it. Yeah. Game on. They're way better equipped to do this than me.

And I would listen to it. I never realized, I never even thought about it that advice is just like personal riddles. So every time you guys answer a question with your advice, you're solving riddles. Yeah. And you guys have done the show before, so you guys are familiar. Absolutely. It's only a slight departure. Well, let's get into some warm-up riddles. We'll see how you guys do, keeping in mind your relationship with riddles. So here's the first one. They can bring back the dead,

they can make you cry or laugh, or make you young again. They are born in an instant yet last a lifetime. What are they? Memories. Amir wishes. But onions, onions. Amir, when we had,

before the, and I should say to the audience, we had one stipulation before we had you to on his guests At no point should you sing any Andrew Lloyd Webber songs now One second into the first riddle a mirror busts into a cat song This is absolute garbage. It is the right answer, but I'm still pissed off. Can you can you sing the whole song a mirror? Memories all alone in the something I am answering a riddle. I can't wait. I'm getting real hard. Irril. Unrelated. I'm still thinking about the penthouse joke

from earlier. Perfect. I want to say this is going to be a scene. Are you guys cool doing an improv improv scene? Have you guys taken improv classes? We haven't. But we're naturals, so don't you worry about how hard to be. Oh shit. Like a 25 year old spressed. You're naturals. Nice.

They told me I was a natural as well, yet they still took my $375. I just don't know. Over and over and over. I didn't take any classes, but I get in cash. So we're going to see our first scene. I want to see a scene. Aaron, Amir and Jake, the three of you are coming up with the idea for the musical cats

or something close to it. And JPC, you are Andrew Lloyd Webber who's overhearing this all with a glass of the wall who's going to steal the idea. Got it. Okay boys, here is the bag of drugs. Just sort of close your eyes, reach in, and then we'll get started. Oh, ow. Pricked myself.

That's a serious one. I guess you already did your drug, alright? I'm going to pop this pill. And are you ready? Let's talk musicals. I am so high out of my gourd. I want to write a fucking musical about cats. I'm serious.

Hey Mike, normally when people are high, they don't really, like, announce that they're high like that. I took an edible four seconds ago. Hit me, because I shoved it up my ass. And I think I have the song figured out too. It's like, memory, I am thinking about riddles. I am getting real hard. I love it, I love it, and I'm going to write that down.

We don't have context for it yet. We sort of just launched into a song. That's right, that's actually. Who would be singing about their memories? The Jolly Rancher's kind of sliding out of my ass. I don't even think it hit yet. Yeah. I'm serious.

Well, who goes long as you need? Kyle, what do you, what inspires you? We're talking about memories in the song. So like, what, what can we write a musical about? Sorry, the Jolly Rancher that's from your ass, it's just on the couch. Can you do something with it? Can you throw that away?

Wait, wait, wait. That's perfect. Can you throw that away? It's hard. Can you actually throw it away? You're holding your guitar. You're holding your guitar, ready? Jolly ranchers in my ass. It is hanging on the couch. Every day I get real high and I want to eat your thighs. Why did you need your guitar? Why didn't you even play it? Why did you need your,

you just wanted to hold it? It's like an inspiration thing for me. It's kind of like, you're holding it so tight. Yeah. I broke the neck. I have a capo actually. I think you're sitting on it.

I'm gonna grab the shawli rancher. Okay, thank you. Do you want wanna enter out? I think I wanted in me. Same. I'm perfect. I've made as much sense as cats, make sense. And you're the webber by the way,

on the other side of that door, and listen for about 10 seconds of the video. Just, just, just, the melody for memories and things. Just walk away. And I'm sitting up. I pictured you saying, in a row, and then saying, we aren't Just the melody for memories. Just walked away. And I'm not saying enough. I pictured you saying in or out and then saying, we aren't heating the whole goddamn neighborhood. I guess you see cats.

I never thought. No. You should. I still have it. It's on Amazon Prime now, I think, and I still haven't seen it. I saw it in theaters. I went with one of my friends

and she walked around to everyone in the theater and she went, we're all here as a joke, right? And everyone was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the best time. It's fun to entertain. It made no sense. The three of us were all supposed to see it together, but Aaron went to see it and then a week later, Adam and I were like, let's go and see it and it had left the theaters.

It was, it was gone from everywhere. They got it out so quickly. That was fast. I have to ask, Jake and Mary, are you okay if we make merch this? Just is a t-shirt that says, this Jolly Rancher is sliding out of my ass. Is that hot?

Get out. We cannot even split those royalties. It was all bloomin' though. If you guys want to do it, I won't partake. Don't give me any action on that. I'm not trying to get too much. uh... it was all it was all blue you guys want to do it i won't partake don't give me any action on that but i'm not trying to get to buy big jolly ran for i'm not ask her something

asking about the jolly ranchers lighting out of my ass uh... let's do another here's another warm up riddle amir absolutely destroyed that first one. Very good job. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Jake, still not on the board. You're trying to make me dumb-peditive and it's working.

Wishes. Wishes? By the way, can you read the thing again? I want to hear how many of those actual clues wishes works for. They would have worked for all of them, but let's not. Let's not. No, I think it was one about a baby-

bull-like pass. There's, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. As soon as we solve a riddle, we burn it for good. I would be dead without my wishes. Unfortunately, we're recording this, yeah. Here's the next one.

I have only two backbones and thousands of ribs. I go around the world without moving. What am I? I have only two backbones and thousands of ribs. I go around the world without moving. What am I? Barbecue food truck at Epcot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay. Two backbones. Excuse me, are those backbones for sale? No, no, no, we're mostly ribs, but...

Well, the devils. The devil with two backbones is, that's a way to describe making love. And Marilyn Manson famously would do his rib cage out, so he could better make love to himself. So I guess my answer would be a barbecue food truck at Epcot Final Answer, blocked it. And I think it was around the world. It says it goes around the world without moving.

I do want to see a quick scene. JPC, you're going to be playing goofy in your in character and you want some ribs from Epcot and I'll be the barbecue truck salesperson owner. Oh gosh, I sure am hungry. Hey Southern man, can you move out of the way Goofy's behind you? Pardon me sir.

Seen. Damn it. I never realized how Southern, what a Southern bell Goofy is. Yeah Goofy's all Southern. He's ha ha. Gorsh, I do declare. Duffy is very sinister to me.

I don't like goofy. I don't like. Is that why you called for a scene eight seconds? Yeah. I'm done. I just say after I got Gourish out, I was all downhill from there. So I'm about to eat it.

That's very weird. I have only two backbones and thousands of ribs. I go around the world without moving. What am I? Wait, I have only two backbones. Only two backbones? That's what it is. Interesting.

I have only two backbones. I have an answer, but it only works for I go around the world without moving. Okay. I can't think of something that does any of it. The equator. The equator is a good guess. It is wrong in this instance, but it is the answer to something. Yeah, right. I would have incurred it. You just asked the last thing. Yeah. Latitude,

longitude. Mm-hmm. Is it ever like, oh, that's a metaphor when it said two backbones. It's like, it represents the two poles or something like that. You're not, you're not, yeah, you're not, a lot of ribs. What's, yeah, thousands of ribs. You have to really think outside the box. Would it be like a globe? Like, cause a globe, all those lines on a globe for latitude and longitude could be a rib. But what are the back bones?

Yeah, again, a great answer, but wrong in this instance. Let's keep digging into it. I think it could be right. We could get there on this one. Let's keep digging into it. I think it could be right. We could get there on this one. Now I will say, I will say, around the world is a little bit misleading. I'm just reading the riddle verbatim, but around the world's misleading in terms of this does go around the world, but not completely. So for example, we are recording this right now with Jake in New York,

me, JPC and Aaron in Chicago and a mirror in LA. So this would go from New York to Chicago to LA, but after LA, it can only go around the US and Canada. Maybe it's not going to go overseas. No, overseas. This podcast goes overseas. No, we have no listeners overseas. I'm really bad. God, we're ruined. And so other parts of the world have their own of these, but it's not all one thing. It's not all connected like the equator is. Trains. Huh?

Roads? Roads? Okay, cold. Cold. And you also should always say, what are train tracks? If that's a road of trains. I gotta give this to Jake. He said, no, I didn't get it.

I didn't, I didn't. I'm not dumb-peditive enough to take it. He said trains. He said trains. Jake, I feel like you meant tracks. Jake, what the fuck, I'm trying to give this to you. What are you doing? What are the answers?

Train tracks? The answer? Yeah, you idiot. Of course it is train tracks. The answer is, yeah, you idiot. Of course it's train tracks. To backbones. The answer is a railroad or train tracks. So if you think of the two rails themselves, the wheels go on, those are the backbone

and then all the interstitial connectivity boards are on ribs. That's the ribs. Oh no. I like to pitch a different answer. I would like to pitch the answer of a daft punk concert, okay, because we've got the two people in daft punk. They both, they have, you know, spines, and then they're playing the song around the world to an audience of thousands of ribs.

Whoa. That's good. See? Okay. Thank you. Now thank you. And I also like to change my answer one more time to a barbecue truck outside of Epcot. Outside of Epcot.

Yeah, you can't die at Disneyland. You also kick it ribs. It has to be like 1500. You can die at Disneyland. They won't tell you about it. They pronounce you dead on the street outside. No one's ever died at Disney. That's not real.

It's true. They don't pronounce them that until off the site. But what do you get like to capitated on a ride? How is it possible? A woman, so there's an old ride like the 70s or 80s, where like a wall turned, where it's like an actor standing behind a wall and the wall turns and rotates to show like a bookcase or something. And the woman got caught and literally got to

capitated and they flue her, they chopper her head and body off-site, outside of celebration, and then pronounced her dead. This is a true story. That's not real. That's true. It was an actress who worked there. For them, then just allowing people to die there, I think. Do you know how many prostitutes, chip, and or Dale

have murdered? And there's no consequences? The rescue rangers? Yes. No! My childhood. My childhood. More riddles, please.

I do, I do wanna see a scene. JPC, your chip, Jake, your Dale, and the two of you are getting your story straight before your court case. What the hell did you do? Which way? Which way? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is a disaster. I'm chipped your tail. Okay.

That's not even the worst part. We got to get our story straight. Oh my God. There's a dead ocar in here. Okay. Okay. Wait. That could have been here. That could have been here before we got in here because we are in a we're in a courtroom. So, excuse me, ma'am, okay, no, she's just sleeping, okay. Well, okay, well, we're really hot in here. I know.

It's so hot in here, we're lower up all you. This is how we talk. Okay, okay. We gotta get our story straight, okay? Sure. I pulled up to park. I said it's just gonna be 15 minutes. Why would I pay for that?

It's just gonna be 15 minutes. That's right. Then I walked away. And the guys put in the fucking ticket on my car. And who did? And then you killed him? I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I sh-I Right, I got great. I'm not going out like this. Okay, so that's what happened. Right. So, so we have to get the lies straight. Yes, now we now we add the layer of lies onto it. Okay, just a real quick, ma'am, you're cool, right? Me? Yeah, you're cool. Oh, no, I'm just a judge. You can tell.

Oh, man, I'm so sorry that we mislabeled you a surprise to do. By the way, that outfit is absolutely working for you. You look smoking hot 10 out of 10. My robe? Thank you. Is that what that is? Same. Beautiful and erotic.

Anybody ever play the rescue rangers in the Nintendo game? Yes. Fucking awesome. That game ruled. It was mostly was it launch pad, not launch pad. Who's the big guy? Who's a big bruiser oh? Chip and down monster isn't a monster?

Mon array You're thinking of Frankenstein's monster I knew it was something I knew was cheese. I knew was cheese related Yeah, it was like this big slab of big slab of a mouse who like helped them out. And then, with a mustache. You were the mustache and maybe he had like a sidekick that was a fly, like a blue fly maybe. I don't.

Regardless, that game fucking slaps. What is this? Is this a side character with a sidekick? I think so. That's a hat on a hat. Yeah, that's too much. And also, I think you're playing Mickey Mouse in that same JPC.

I was definitely playing Donald Duck. Okay, here's another riddle. So we're past the warm-up riddles. We're into our main course, our main entree riddles. Oh yeah. And Jake and Amir, just to prepare you, these are bad. There's three good riddles in the world. We've done them all.

And so these are going to be absolutely maddening. These are going. There's three good riddles in the world. We've done them all. And so these are gonna be absolutely maddening. These are gonna be frustrating. Amir, you said no to the answer to the last one. I can't wait to hear what you said to the answer to this one. Like even after we get the answer, we'll be disappointed. Oh yeah. Okay.

So here we go. I get the answer. So here's the entire riddle. You're gonna think that I took a pause to swallow or something, but I did not. This is a full riddle. Why did a think that I took a pause to swallow or something, but I did not. This is the full riddle. Why did a woman send out a thousand anonymous Valentine's to different men?

I don't know, Adam. Why did I do that? Because it's Aaron and she's fucking desperate. Ooh, sorry, I had to get that slam and now let's read the real riddle. No, this is the four riddle. Why did a woman send out a thousand anonymous Valentine's or Valentine's cards to different men?

She was a dentist and she was reminding them to get a Valentine's Day cleaning. Women can be a dentist. Aaron, you're not far off. That's a wonderful answer. You're not far off. I wish you did some hygienists. That is correct. Thank you. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. Epic. No, that's not bad. Do the cleatings.

That is incorrect. Hey, can I ask you a question? Have you ever had a cleaning done by a dentist before or is it always a dental hygienist that does the cleaning? I think it's the hygienist and then the dentist comes in at the end and is like, all right, now I'll do the real hard stuff. Yeah, it looks good to me. Bye. It's always been my experience. I went to the dentist and a place the end, is like, all right, now I'll do the real hard stuff. Yeah, that looks good to me, bye. I've always been my experience.

I went to the dentist and a place I've never been to two days ago, and the dentist came in, gave me an exam and I was like, am I gonna get a cleaning? And he was like, yeah, I'm about to do it. And then the dentist did the cleaning. I was like, guy, what do you do with? That guy's a dental hygienist.

Yeah, that guy was a dental hygienist. Yeah, I got a plumber. You know. I don't know, I don't know where, I don't know if he was a plumber, a dental hygienist, I've never had a cleaning done at a subway restaurant before it, but it was amazing. I was gonna say, when you clogged up your sinks and you called the guy over, did you suddenly get dental surgery?

The guy said mask off open up and I was like, cool, I haven't been to one of these in a while, so. I was in a way. I know what they say, a mechanic doesn't clean your car. I'm your name one person that says that. James Dean Jr. James Dean Jr. You mean Jimmy?

Ugliest high schooler in the world. Why, we have to find out. Why did a woman send a thousand anonymous Valentine's cards to different men? Aaron, you were very, you were on the right train of thought. Oh, I got it. Yeah, she had a job. She had a job that required her to communicate with a thousand people. What other jobs besides being a dentist allow you to do that.

She works in marketing for ashleymatisan.com, which is a website for, by, and for cheaters. The cowards. Oh, the people. The people. We're buying. We're buying for. I will say, Jake and JPC, you are exactly on the right track.

In terms of this person is doing it to do what you kind of along lines of what you guys said. And also, they're being mischievous. They're being a little mischievous scam, right? Well, that's half the fun of that. She just said. She just said. She just said.

She just said. JBC, you would tell us if you were being paid by them, right? Because it seems like you mentioned. First of all, I love the service that actually Medicine.com provides so much that I would hardly think to accept the money from them. But if I had to accept money from them, my bake a cut number is. And I do want to, while you guys think on this, I do want to see a quick scene. Aaron, you're going to be the director of the 1980s classic sequel, Rebel With the Caws, starring Amir as James Dean Jr., who doesn't quite have the charisma or acting chops of his dad, but still makes it go

out of it. Let's see this scene on set from Rebel With the Caws. All right, James Dean. Jr., I just need you to lean against this car. Call me James Dean junior. I just need you to lean against this car call me James Dean Jr You say James Dean like that with a pause it makes me think of my dad who actually died in a car crash on this day 58 years ago

Carry on I can call you a nickname if you want I can call you just junior if that makes you feel more comfortable Call me Jay Okay, great. I just need you to lean against this car take a smoke of the cigarette Just look really handsome and swab and then deliver the line. All right. I have asthma. What? Okay, excellent. I can't do the cigarette thing. You know what? Pretend and we'll add it in post. Sorry, Carol. Sorry, Carol. Before we start, there's a, for some reason there's a Jolly Rancher on the seat of the car. Can we get that out of screen? Out of shot? I don't know. Every time he sits down, that keeps showing up. I don't know if that came out of it.

Who's asked or what happened there? We didn't imply that came out of anyone's ass James Dean Jr. Alright, here we go. Sorry Carol, sorry Carol, it's just it's Jeff from Customing. Do you want him to be wearing the costume that we agreed on or should he continue to be naked? Because I kept trying to get him into the costume but... I told him we'll add it in post. We'll add the costume in post.

Okay, great, thank you. And... So what do you need me to do? Just lean against the car, look real cool, smoke the cigarette and then deliver the line all right and Action hi, I'm Jay My dad's a fucking dead actor And we got it So man perfect

So, man, perfect. Perfect. Does anybody else want a dumbass? You guys are circling it. You're almost there. Do you want me to? I like your style. I said 9000 Valentine's. I know it.

So, she is a divorce attorney, and she is drumming up business by sending these cards out. That's very clever. You hit the railroad spike on the rib. It is, the answer is she is a devois lawyer drumming up the voice lawyer. The voice lawyer. I'm a devois lawyer. The voice lawyer.

So, so that, that's so shitty to make all these wives or think that their husband is cheating on them. Pretty smart though. Smart opening sign. Oh and everything's fine. Oh, it's good. When they could instead just go to AshleyMadison.com and get all of the fun and excitement for half the price.

Does head gum have actually Madison as a sponsor yet? Jake and Amir, because we can really push for this. It doesn't. Yeah, we have, we only have, right now we have only fans, bank, bank, and a horn hub. Perfect. Well, Tinder Bumble, of course, hinge. Of course, a minge.

We should say Tinder Bumble has sort of a KFC pizza hut situation going on or Taco Bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a two-ing humans on this and different back ends and just call it two different apps, but it's the same thing. Well, we're gonna take a quick break and hear from one of those amazing sponsors and we'll be right back with more riddies and puzzies! Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, bow!

Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, bow! Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, bow! Hey, GPC! Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a website to prank him.

Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you just don't like it. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to sit online, whether you're just starting out

or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on?

I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening okay?

Wait, what's going on with that? Oh? Nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal square space website not a prank thing No, he's gonna shoot you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights grow my business, and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Prank. was four, I can't remember what's the website for. Frank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron.

Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way.

I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly as a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost,

I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm.

Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want

while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods,

even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs.

Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p.com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-D-d d l e the middle of riddles of d

but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the hope home who are we uh... uh... clink clink clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to,

I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I wanna talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh.

Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel

it for you. It's that easy. Click, click, click. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year.

We love rock and roll. Stop, stop, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocket rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rock at money dot com slash riddle and tell them jpc's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website

click like like like like like like like like And we are back on set with Rebel 4 cause Rebel 4 with a cause 4 cause that's 2020 version. Getting into fun raising. Let's get into another full course riddle. Here we go. A kidnapper sent a ransom note. He prepared it carefully and insured that it contained no fingerprints. Yet it was used to prove his guilt.

How? I think I know the answer. Oh, please. Wow. Go ahead, please. He was cutting up a magazine and the, the, the address. It was addressed to the killer.

Oh, Jake buddy. Oh, I want to say you had it in loss it, but you never even had it. What? I was sure that I was worried that I ruined this. It would not half of the podcast. I get to hear right so fast. Yeah, I love the idea of somebody cutting out letters from a magazine to make that stereotypical weird ransom note from like bodyguider

Whatever, but they actually cut out their 100% what I thought happened that's fucking brilliant. That should be that should be in like if they have a remake like airplane or something The Zucker Brothers need to use that bit. That's that's phenomenal phenomenal bit, but wrong answer Anybody else have a guess or a gander? It was this handwriting. Also a very good guess, but not correct. Could you guys write a random note with your off hand? Oh, that's good. Yeah.

I know. Someone would read it and be like, okay, so he was kidnapped by a 90-year-old. Scrawling. I believe Jake is trying it. Jake, can you tell us what you're writing for your ransom note, what your demands are or what you've actually done?

So I'm writing, well actually, you know what, I'm almost done and I'll show it to you guys. And then you can tell me if you know what it says. Okay. Give me the money. Give me the money. Give me the moon. Give me the money.

Give me the money. Give me the money. Give me the money. Give me the money. Give me the money. Show me the money. Show me the money. The kidnapper, the kidnapper has Sarah

and it also has her mommy. It's not the address from the magazine, it's not the handwriting. Okay, so the Kidnapper wrote the ransom note. They used the, whatever, they hit it, they didn't put their fingerprints on it, but then they hand-delivered it. And they caught them because they were like, hey buddy, hey asshole, you can give me the ransom note, you took them. Aw, nerds. Uh huh. Who do we think is-

He spelled something wrong and then they could tell by the bad spelling. Yeah, he put you better give me the wicked fucking money and they knew he's from Boston. Boston, yeah. Who do we feel like is the most, if you had to kidnap someone? So I feel like ransom notes,

ransom implies that you've taken a person, right? That's the definition of ransom. So I feel like we need to answer the question who would be the most valuable person to kidnap in 2020? Donald Trump, Jr. Baron. Eric, Eric Trump. Junior.

I would take Junior. Fred Trump, you get the fucking bones. You get the dead, the dead, dead, Trump. Eric Trump? Uh-huh. Eric Anier. Fred Trump, you get the fucking bones. You get the dead, the dead, dead Trump. That's what you need. Now, I'll take the niece that doesn't like him. I can't remember what her name is, but we'll take her Trump. Mary Trump. Mary Trump.

That's right. Uh, no, he's famously broke, so I don't think that- And it also famously does not care about his children. So it doesn't pay his- definitely, he does famously broke, so I don't think that and also famously does not care about his children. So definitely he does not pay debts. Yeah, you know, others $400 million in me a hundred bucks and I'll give you back Mary. I think that the Queen of England has a lot of money, so I'm kidnapping someone in that line that she cares about.

I would say, well, there's your trouble. There's the rub air and she doesn't care about fucking shit. Or she does care. She wanted, she wanted the dogs. So kidnap a corgi. Oh, I do have a corgi. Kidnap all of her corgis. But she doesn't like her son.

That's fair. Here, corgi reminds me of what I think the actual answer is, you have to think of someone who's worth money themselves and who comes for money. And to me, the only person that fits that bill, little bout wow. That's true. That's true. That's the big, that master cano limit soldiers, his uncle so the shaka, he's got all that like mic money. It's got to be a little bit. But he's

bow, he's bow wow now. Yeah. So he's, he's, he's regular size. He's no longer little bout wow. So that's a, that's a big mistake. You go to kidnap him as little bout wow. You bring a tiny little mat. It's's a big mistake. You go to kidnapped him as little bow wow. You bring a tiny little mat. It's like a fool, man, who's being a shit out of you, just wail on you. He doesn't fit in. He doesn't fit in.

Who's this girl, man, who looks like a little bow wow? Are you bringing a cartoonish dog catching net to kidnapped people, JPC? What do you do? What, you want me to leave it at home? I have it. I bought it. Okay, I can't get the money back for it.

I bought it two years ago. Did I get a return it? Did I bring a tiny net? You bring a big net. That's the little bow-away. Tell you what I said though. Yep, exactly. Do we have any other guesses for what happened

with this kidnapper? We really have to try to find out who they're kidnapping to get this answer right? Or is that all I know? That was just D-tour. That was insane D-tour. Shame on you. So let me read it one more time.

Please. A kidnapper sent a ransom note. He prepared it carefully and insured that it contained no fingerprints. Yet it was used to prove his guilt. How? I got it. I freaking, God, I fucking nailed it again.

Okay, Mr. CSI, Mr. JPC CSI, what do we got? Hold on, I don't have any glasses except I have, oh wait, hold on. Okay, we'll have to scream when you take them off. I have, these are Mariah's sunglasses that are on this desk, so, oh, because they look bad on you. All right, I think they look nice.

I was joking, I didn't have the heart to tell you that they are my sunglasses. Right, does it have sunglasses? Okay, here we go, Riff and Maw. I've got, hold on, I've got, also I've got her blue-blocking work glasses. I as it have sunglasses. Okay, here we go, Ruff Mom. Hold on, I've got, also I've got her blue-blocking work glasses. I'll try these instead. These look better, Adel. Yeah, you look cool.

Yeah, you look fresh. Thank you. So the kidnapper, wow! Licked the envelope. JPC. JPC CSI, Bingo Bingo, Ha-Tata. That is correct. The police were able to get a DNA trace

from the saliva on the back of the stamp that matched the suspect, which stamp envelope either one, you're getting some DNA, right? What a dummy. Either way, you're getting DNA. So we did, we did, mail-in voting this year when I voted for fucking Jill Stuyge, throw my photo away.

But I was about to lick the thing, like lick the envelope to mail it in, and then Mariah, my girlfriend, wedded a paper towel and ran the wet paper towel across the thing and then sealed it, and I was like, holy shit, you can do that. Yeah, but then you don't get the taste glue. Yeah!

That's the best part of the time. That's the best part. You don't get taste democracy. And then the paper towel gets charged for the murder. Yeah. Don't throw away. You're going away for a long time, paper. Brony man, you're under arrest. So, JPC, you didn't realize that it just had to be well. You thought there was some secret ingredient in saliva that caused stuff to be. I guess in my defense, I had never really thought about it before, but yes, in that moment, I did realize that the thing that I had never thought about before was that I thought

that there was a secret adhesive ingredient in your saliva that made the envelope stick. I did. I have a similar thing that I learned as a kid or I had as a kid and I just never unlearned, which was, remember the straws at 7-11? Or no, the ICs. Was that an international thing? I.S.E.E. Yeah, yeah.

So, the straws were like little red spoons at the end of them. You know what I mean? They just opened up and then you can use it as a spoon. So I used to think that as you used the regular straw, it would open up like that. And then every time I took it out, I'm like, I nailed it, I got it in the perfect amount of time because I used it as a straw and it slowly opened into a spoon.

And then like one day when I was like, nine, I was like, wait a minute. That straw came open to like a friend of mine. He's like, yeah, that's how it works. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's how it works. Obviously, it doesn't open over time with you. You thought you were a genius. I thought it was always nailing the exact amount.

I'm like every time I looked, I'm like, God it. I used to just write it out of time. That's kind of like thinking the adhesive is from your saliva. Yeah, that's true. Except in your story, you were a young boy and I was my full grown man who is and can vote. I will say I was like when I was 16 or 17,

the first like five times I ordered McFlurries. When I was like 16 or 17, I would try and suck up the McFlurry through the spoon because I was like, oh, it's like a strewn, it's like a spoon in a straw because there's a big square opening at the end of the spoon. I was like, this is brilliant. I can suck it through a straw

and then when it gets to be too much, I can just eat it. Come to find out, that's not a straw at all. It's like what they use to put the mixer in. It holds the metal mixer component that then mixes through the mixer. Stirs your mixer, yeah. Okay, I didn't know that. And I sometimes try to use it as a straw.

And I was also like 34 when I realized what those little mustard cups are actually supposed to do You're supposed to like pull them open to where they they hold like 10 times as much ketchup Same with the same with the Chinese like food boxes those seniors open up as plates. Yeah Excuse me. Wait, slow down. What's the most? To go boxes open up and become paper plates. Yeah. I misspoke and said mustard. It's like the little ketchup thing.

So if you go to like, like a little ramicking. If you go to like the little paper. There's like the little paper cups you put ketchup or mustard in. If you grab the rim of those and pull them open, it stretches out and that's what you're supposed to do so that it holds a ton of sauce.

And then it is easier for you to dip or like lay your fries in. I didn't realize that now. Yeah, my mind is blown. But I also didn't know the thing about the Slurpees. So I'm discovering a lot. And then what's the Chinese to go containers open up? Those like white to go Chinese boxes.

If you just snap them open at the sides and then they open up into plates. Now you can't, they're usually like stapled. So you can't put them back together, but if you wanna just have access to everything at the very bottom of your dish, you just snap up in the sides and open it up, and it's a little plate.

Is it a plate, like a circle, or is it a plate? You just deconstructed a box and you're using it as a plate. Like, was it designed? Was that it's intention? Well, I believe so. Or if you hack this. I like open up a cardboard box I couldn't like turn deep I'm like, yeah, it's a plate like no you just Yeah, is it like saying a basketball if you explode it you can use it as a toilet seat cover. It's like yeah

You can I guess wow Look at that. Yeah, wow. So are they designed like that? I think that they are designed like that. I guess. Wow, look at that. I guess. Did not. Wow. So are they designed like that? I think that they are designed like that. I believe so. Oh, look at them. Who's dog is that? Is that my dog?

What's male persons here? What's your dog's name? Luke. Named after Luke Canard, I assume? Named after my girlfriend's favorite movie character, Cool Hand Luke. There you go. I thought it was after her other ex. That guy that she was...

Oh no, that guy... That's what he said. Yeah, cool little Luke. That was Lucas. Oh, that's who's here. Yeah, she's here. She's here. She's already fucking her.

Oh wow. Luke loves him. That's so weird. Who was it? Luke is. He just must be playing tennis. That's so wild. He's such a huge love that one.

Fantastic. Wow, he's spreading his dick over his plate. It's such an awesome life hack. Life hack. It's all catch can do. This is totally right. It's all it can show in his ass. That's all it can do. That's all it can show in his ass. That's all it can do.

That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do.

That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do.

That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. That's all it can do. like we are just talking about. So I don't know where I source these riddles from for today, but this absolutely blows, but here it is. This is a bit of a medical life hack. Okay. How were insects once used in the diagnosis of a serious disease? I know. Oh, they, yeah, I think they were too. I think we all know what we don't even have to talk about.

I think we all know. I don't know. I just say it. I don't know. Let's say it. I'm about how we all know. I don't know. I don't know. I just want to say something else. Let's say it at the count of three. One, two, three. This is because of the loss of the eating of the oxalic range. You know what, you know what,

it's the loss of the eating of the oxalic range. And then blood of the insect to see if the insect has the disease. What did Aaron say? What did he say? I didn't think about putting a jolly rancher up your ass. That's what I didn't say. I will say I heard seven different answers.

I don't know if I heard the right one. So, do you really know what we do think you know what this is? No, no. I do it. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. I was gonna say like something about leeches. Oh, like using leeches to bloodlet or something like that.

It's a great guess. This is Aaron and I's wheelhouse too because Aaron has had most of the diseases and I have eaten most of the bugs. So we, between the two of us, we should know how to do this. I'm going to say that Jake needs a win, because Jake, have you solved one yet? I think I solved the first two. And a row. Yeah, I think I did.

I think I've wished. After I gave you the answer, you said wishes. Yeah, because it was wishes real well. It didn't even cheat correctly. It was my memory. It was my memory. I said memories and you could have just repeated it and said I said at the same time.

And so I have a wishes. I've got a new word for how I've been behaving which is Confedum as my Confedant. I'm always so sure. I don't think I've said a guess yet and like been half and been unsure. I'm always pretty positive that I'm right. Well, let's hear what your answer is for this one.

Do you have an inkling? Do you have, I didn't hear what you said. I think it's the mosquitoes. I think the mosquitoes are eating blood, Dr. Swatnam putting them on a little petri dish thing under microscope. That's what I think the mosquitoes are eating blood, Dr. Swatnam put an amount of little petri dish thing under microscope. That's what I think. You're very close. So what doctors used to do is take mosquitoes

and then they would take out the blood and clone dinosaurs. And that would help them tell if someone was a dinosaur. You're making a game, right? Yeah, it'll be. You've made a fool of me. I'm making the most dangerous game of you. Does that just mean that they thought everyone had malaria?

Because it's like a mosquito-borne illness. It's like, yeah, this guy had it too. This is a mosquito acid. You see, this is what I'm talking about, Tronavirus, they're only finding, because they're testing more. And it's like, I know it's a punchline or whatever, but the numbers, the disease is a hoax for them.

And that's exactly the number is the numbers are going up is because more people have it. Why are more people being dead then? Because they all have this nasty China flu. I'll be honest, when it didn't kill Trump, I thought, maybe this is a hoax. Well, the Christy. Well, JPC, you're going to get a chance to play a doctor right now. Oh good. You're an esteemed doctor, top of your field.

Hell yeah, I'll tell my mom to listen to this one. So you're Dr. JPC. Jake, you are a patient who is awaiting results in JPC. You have the un-enviable task of letting him know he is infected dinosaur. Uh, you look well. You look well. Uh, yeah, uh, if you need a water, the water that's out, it's just, it's right there for you. You can take this. I don't know. Oh. Oh, okay, yeah.

God, I cut that on the back of the clipboard. That's a big one, that's a big sneeze. Look, I'm his son. If you have anything to tell him, you can just say it to me. Yeah, damn it. You can be in the room. You can be in the room. You can be in the room, son.

Look, there's no easy way. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name Tad Tan Tad Tad Tad your father But oh yeah, yeah, there's a few bucks but continue

Okay, okay, so So you you you know that your father is a dinosaur which is great because. Yes, I know, but he doesn't get it. Well, we're past that because that's great. That's a great first step. Now, your father, I know he's told you that he is a T-Rex. Yes. Your father is, unfortunately, we got the results back. He's not a T-Rex.

What are you talking about? He is a... He's a brachiosaur. Wait, here he is. I'm sorry. This is not a doctor. This is a plumber nice try guy get the hell out of here Wait wait wait wait wait look at jolly rancher in my hold on hold on hold on Hold on I'm sorry you and your son can go home before before you cast a stone at me before you throw me out of here on my ass, I only have one thing to say. Do you need a plumber? Is there pipes that need fixing? Yeah, some guys kicking our sinks and the salt is his sleep, so yeah, we'll give you a call.

Get the hell out of here. Okay, okay. I can take one of these waters, are these waters for everybody? No. And I'm so sorry, I've been here the whole time. I'm famed movie actor Christopher Plummer. Can I be of any assistance? Get the hell out of here, Christopher Plummer. You were, oh wait, which one's Christopher Plummer? No, yeah, you can stay.

You can stay. You are great. I was thinking Christopher Walken, and he was there when that lady died on that boat. I'm the rich man's Kevin Spacey. You really are. And you're great. Oh, just it's, just it's,. You're a great and sound of music.

Get the hell out of your Christopher Plummer. I love you. I had a crush on you when I was a kid. Same. Get the hell out of you. Wasn't it Christopher Plummer? They were totally reshotted movie with him. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, the one about the, it was about Ransom too, I think, right? Yeah. It was like a true story about one of the world's wealthiest families and the kidnapping. I think I saw that one a couple of years ago. Christopher Plummer was great and knives out, I thought. Oh yes. Oh, that's his name.

Christopher Plummer. Christopher Plummer. Christopher Plummer. Wow, this guy's so old. He's so old and he isn't like that. He's a true dinosaur. He's a G90. And he's still acting? God damn.

He was captain Von Trapp in the sound of music. I think you just want to ask her a few years ago. So he still got it. And a lot of the kids in sound of music are dead. And he's still acting. Goodbye, farewell. And almost every dog in sound of music is dead. You don't know that. You don't know that.

Did I tell you guys about when I went to Austria and did this on the music tour? Yeah. No, but yeah. That's fine, I don't need to know. The main takeaway was basically that everyone on the tour learned my name was Adel, but they thought it was Adel, so the entire bus was singing Adel Vice to me and thought it was super funny and nailed it, and I was like, hated them all Very bad very bad time in my life. I'm so back to the topic of hand riddles How were insects once used in the diagnosis of a serious disease?

I'm gonna give you insolvesis one final stab at it and then I'm gonna reveal The answer and again, it's a bit of a while we did solve this we dicked around for hours on this one JPC I will say even the phrase dicked around is circling the target pretty pretty close to We dicked around for hours on this one. JPC, I will say even the phrase dicked around is circling the target pretty close to say dicked around. Whoa. So animals, or insects we use as a diagnosis for a disease. For a serious disease. A penis disease?

I will micro penis. They would put up an animal's penis into a human penis. And they would be like, wow, your penis is the same size as this tiny little animal. So you have a tiny dick. People don't know this, but if you, if you show ants a tiny penis, they will laugh.

They're the only animals that are honest, so they'll laugh at a tiny penis. So. I know my ant does. It's not right. Oh, you don he dropped it. Curtis, no. Oh, no, Lucas, this is fucking your aunt.

I'll go ahead and say the answer. Again, this is a bit of a medical life hack. So what happened was if aunts, people, doctors used to bring aunts for this, for this exact scenario, if aun ants gathered around a place where a person had urinated it was a very strong indication that the person had diabetes the ants were attracted by the sugar in the urine and sugar in the urine I believe is a limpisket song okay I would like to see a scene the four of you are ants and you're drinking pee and maybe you're wondering if this is the kind of life you want to be leading.

Oh, this is so fucking good. Right, clinkies, clinkies. This is fucking fun. It's spot-em-zopful and annoying. It's shrunk from this guy that it's fucking urine. I love piss. Call me a piss ant because I'm a fucking piss ant. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, go ahead. I love piss. I love piss forever. That's the first time I'm fucking her and that. Yeah, I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant.

I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant.

I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. I'm a fucking pissant. No! Watch your pissing! Watch your pissing! Come on, man!

Okay, fine, but then you gotta go home because you can't stay here. Yeah! I have so much piss, I think I have to piss. Hey, I'll drink it! Can we level with you, human men, human men who's pissing? Can we level with you? Yeah! Yeah, I mean, we love it here.

You know, can we just, can we just call, you know, call this one of these and make this thing official? Maybe we just live in your toilet. Don't you have a queen? Oh shit. Hey, I'm ready to announce her. Lock her. You could be our new queen.

Yeah, we should say this like this. Who needs enemies? It's like, it's like the Queen, huh? The Queen is mostly a figurehead nowadays. She's mostly for like the tabloids. We have our own government that really runs things. Yeah, I saw she has corgis. Those are gigantic dogs.

Yeah, they're terrifying. And their piss tastes like shit. Alright guys, you're at the point where you're drinking each other's piss, so I'd say it's time to call it a night and give me your keys But wait I can lift up my car look. Look how strong I am All right now you're just telling me all the things you know about ants go home Yeah, my thorax will go home give us more piss Give us more piss

What the fuck? I'm seeing. I love it, Gunn. We had a small 50-bit. We had to stop. You called the scene way too early before. We had to stop to celebrate. The only reason we stopped is to celebrate an anniversary. That's the 50th time that exact phrase has been spoken on this podcast.

Us dreamers come down in the house. Oh my God, I do know. Give us the piss you've been. Give us the piss. It's an anniversary. I got mug today. Oh my God, did I get your phone, your wallet? No, I don't want to talk about it.

They got it, forget it, forget it. Got your piss. Well, we came up with two awesome t-shirts on this episode. Let's do one more riddle. And this is one. Perfect. One more riddle. And Aaron, this is one, I forget the name of the show.

This is A-Law. What's a British game show you like? The correct one. Oh, Only Connect. Okay, I wanted to say Connect 4, but you're correct. So this is in the vein of only connect. So Jacob and Mary, what's gonna happen is, we have four little kind of trivia questions

or little puzzles to solve. And then the answer for all four of those collectively are sort of a greater answer. So you're trying to get the answer for all the four questions and then try and macro view the four answers to see what they all have in common. The four answers will have something in common. Cool.

Cool. So question number one, which UK comedian gained fame guest hosting the daily show before getting his own HBO show, John Blank? Oliver. Oliver, yeah. It's John Oliver. Yeah. What protein-based filament grows only on mammals?

What protein-based filament grows only on mammals? The penis. Hair. Hair. Hmm. Number three, who was the, and I'm not saying yes or no for these right now? Who was the lead singer of the uurythmics, blank Lennox? Annie Oliver.

Okay, and number four, name the pet with breeds called Maine Coon and Tonk Canese. Cat, cat. Great. And so you have the four answers and you have to see what they have in common. I know. I know the chair.

And we're gonna let Jake answer. We're only gonna let Jake answer. He's the last one. He really needs this win. Olive hair. Oliver, Annie, cats,

and penis. Hair. Whatever. I'm sorry. Aaron, he's called pubes. Don't correct me. Wait, pubes is the name of my cat. So hair, Oliver, Annie, cats.

Okay. Penis. Let's all just stare at Jake. Hair, all over her Annie cat. What? And that's not how it's going. Imagine hair, that's all of colored, all over Annie. And Annie's cat

These are it's two names a cat and hair So we have all over hair Annie and I just to Nudgeu long Jake. It's it's not cat. It's plural Cats, uh-huh and so over And we're no let's let him fucking sit in this. We're not shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Stay in your piss.

I don't care if it's silence for an hour. It's gonna be fucking me. I want it all. All slow. All slow. Fucking me. I will leave. I'll leave.

All right, hold on. Hold on, Jake's getting up. He's leaving. Wait, what's going on his chair? It's, oh my god. It's a Jolly Rancher. It's a Jolly Rancher. And Jake, I should say the reason I read this question is because earlier in the show Wait, what's going on his chair? It's, oh my god, it's a Jolly Rancher. It's a Jolly Rancher. It's a Jolly Rancher.

And Jake, I should say, the reason I read this question is because earlier in the show, we actually did a scene involving one of these answers. And that's a huge hint. Like that could not be more of a hint. In fact, it's the answer. I don't remember this. So what is the specific memory of us doing this?

Do I have memories of it? I don't have any memories. Nice. We don't know what's going on. Jake, you're saying gasslet. Here's the little phrase we have in my house. Oh my god, Jake is crying. You can lead a horse. You can lead a horse in the water. You can put the horse in the water. You can bucket water onto the horse, but eventually that horse is just going to drown because he doesn't know he has a mouth. This is what it felt like to bully someone at a lunch table. You guys remember doing that?

Remember when we would bully one person? No, I was always the person getting bullied. This is what I've used to this feeling. I don't know that anyone who's ever bullied can relate to not knowing musicals. I don't think that that's a valid form for a bully. Yeah, and I do. It's a musical theater bully. I do.

I do. A musical theater camp and the cool kid gets bullied. All right. Well, see I see. Hold on. We got to see a song. Hold on. I just want to say some more quick. I want to say something because otherwise we'll have to edit this part out. If I can be real and sincere for a moment. I just want to apologize to Jake. I feel so bad because when you see someone who's had so much success and has so much money and is so fucking handsome as Jake, it just sucks to pick on them because they must have such a hard life and it feels like, you know, this guy probably has 20 fucking homes and, you know, I just feel bad and I'm so sorry, you have a beautiful life and a beautiful wife and

I'm sorry I picked on you that it must be really hard for you. He could have a lot of pain, we don't know about. Anyways, those are from musicals. That is a great dancer. There are any musicals, any hair Oliver and cats. Food, glory, food. The sun will come out tomorrow. This is the dining of the age of Aquarius. Okay, see, there was, yeah, there was a major disconnect between, I thought I had to

string together all of the words from those answers into a coherent sentence. My sister was in hair in college and the performance we went to go see all the lights are supposed to come down when they get naked right before intermission and the lights broke. And that's the first penis I saw in real life was I was sitting next to my dad and between my mom and my dad I was 14 and I saw a bunch of people strip all singing and they looked horrified. They were like, that's it all. And I was like, oh no, well no and it was just supposed to be their silhouettes but I saw

full penises and boobs. Just so everyone's clear, the only reason that Jake didn't know the answer to that and all of us fucking nerds knew the answer to musicals was during high school when we were all singing musicals, Jake was in the parking lot, getting the shit kicked out of it by the local sports jogs. Just getting absolutely destroyed by sports jogs. Nerds. Nerds. That's right. John, did you have a scene you wanted to see or two late? No, yes, it's not too late, because I do remember. One more second, it would have been gone forever. So we are going to see, let's see a scene where Jake, Amir, you are the two bullies at

musical camp and Aaron, Adel and I are the three like newest kids to musical camp. We're so excited to be here. Oh wow, gee. Oh, it's so beautiful. It's glorious. Shots the fuck up. You little bitch. Oh.

Huh? Huh? That's right. I can swear. I can use the beward. Your mom's not here. My sheep music. My sheep music.

You're not the one in my hand. Shut up, bitch. I swear word. All right. Yeah, I'll say bitch. Oh, yeah, I know we're supposed to be bullies man But you're going a little too hard, right? I don't know. I mean these three little bitches Here's my We don't want your piss let's not bully them so hard I'm pissed perfect We don't want your piss. Let's not bully them so hard, huh? Hey, shut up. Here, take mine as well. Take, oh, we don't want one. I'm piss perfect. Dude, let's take this.

Here's my piss and a jolly measure from my ass. Please. Perfect. This is awesome. Why is it awesome? We could fucking sell this. Oh, wait, could we please put on a production of piss Igon? Okay, fine.

Let's see. Oh, we should definitely not do that. Okay. we can do urine town that's real musical let's hear that you little piss bitch wait why are you even here don't you don't you don't count for at this school oh no oh like therapy yeah guidance this is like on your drumming of this therapy. See. Oh, you're fully fantastic. I know, I kind of liked him. He was hot.

You were super hot. Jiggy, thank you so, so much for being on the show. It's so wonderful to finally have you on. Anything that you want wanna mention that our listeners should check out? Wow, listen to Hey Riddle Riddle on the headcomb network. Yes, just what you just did. So if you came just for us,

there's many more better episodes than the one we did, I'm sure. Yeah, and if you wanted to listen to more of all five of us hanging out, you can listen to our episode on If I Were You, which is our advice podcast. Hell yeah, and check out all the, you can listen to our episode on If I Were You, which is our advice podcast. Hell yeah. And check out all the, I can't stress enough. I can't stress enough because I'm, no, the, the head gum network, everyone there, the two

of you, the offices, like you all have been an absolute dream to work with. So, please check out together. Thank you so much for including us. Yeah, we feel, you feel so, part of the team. We feel so taken care of and so supported. So thank you so much for that genuinely. And also check out all the other podcasts on head gum. I feel like you guys have one of the best kind of hit rates in the game in terms of like

really making sure every podcast fits your like the brand and is wonderful. Damn, thank you. Oh, yeah. Thank you. There should be something for everybody. Hell yeah. That's the goal. GBC anything you want to plug in or or a new podcast you want to pitch the jk anymore?

That's time. Yeah, I know. I mean, I just it's it's all more puddle and puddle Yeah, I have I have a podcast. It's I know we do riddles and puzzles I have a puddle in umbrella podcasts that I would love to talk to you about Interesting. Well, it's not. You would think it was. I'm excited to get wrong, but it's very much not interesting. I don't want to give the wrong impression. It's not interesting. I will send you an email.

We could talk about this offline, but it sounds like a forever dog show. Uh-huh. And earn. Okay, my podcast. We bring on people who don't know about musicals and we bully the shit out of them. Now I'm about that, we find new things, we get to know them and then we bully them. That's cool. Do you use the B word? Yeah, we use the word bully bitch.

They said it's a cup of their piss instead of letting them do plugs at the end. That's cool. A drug test of sorts. And Aaron, you have written a musical. I've actually seen the demo version of it. It's brilliant. It's a musical that's out of this world. Of course, the title of that musical is... Jupiter.

Bye forever. Co. Huh. Created by Apple Revival. Starting, Eric Keaton. And John Patrick Collins. Casey Toney to the editing. If you like that, you'll miss. You'll miss. If you like that, you're gonna love this. This week on the Patreon, it's Addles most famous things. You can find that plus all of our back catalog

by going to patreon.com, such, hey, Riddle Riddle, and joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there! for eight dollars a month. See you there!