Hey Riddle Riddle - #123: Grandma Puzzles

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

Happy Wednesday! Erin is Grandma Puzzles this week and she reads some listener submitted riddles. This week we have some bees with a terrible secret, a nervous fire alarm, AND a hurricane and a tornado at a party. We hope you love terrible impressions of Owen Wilson and and Vince Vaughn-cause we got 'em. Then we keep the nightmare going when we get to see the birth of Kool-Aid man. We hope you have a safe holiday!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. I have a burp stuck in me. Let's do some burp time. You have a burp stuck in me? I got a burp stuck in me. Oh burp. Get it out. What is it?

I would be so fascinated just to be Aaron for a day, just to like go through what she goes through to think how she thinks. Casey, please tell me you're recording video. Oh, it's it's being recorded. Hey, I got it out, geez. There's a monster inside me. Oh, this is our new spin-off podcast. Aaron's being exercised.

I also can't burp. Like exercise. If I had a burp stuck in me too, it would be the worst pain. Fish! It was the cabin of an airplane! He's captain with the Hudson train! And the horse is riding! I'm riding! I'm riding! I'm riding! I'm too big for a rick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a-brick-a Aaron, we brought you breakfast and bed. You got your eggs. How did you get a kid in my house? How?

Shush, shush, shush, now. How do we get a kid in your eggs? Yeah, I lock up my eggs. We put a sane person would do, otherwise you could have foxed the dude. I will say I put a key in all of your chickens' butts, and it's somehow released the egg. So here you go. Happy morning.

Okay. And I made you my special JPC Scramble. It's egg in piss? Yeah. No, it's a wrap. It's a little boop boop boop boop boop. It's a JPC Scramble. It's a Scramble, it's a Scramble, it's a Scramble, it's a Scramble, it's a Scramble, it's

a Scramble, it's a Scramble, it's a Scramble. This orange juice has poop. Huh. Catch and put it in. I thought you'd like to know. I thought you'd like to know. I thought you'd like toble. This orange juice has pulp. Huh. Catch and put it back. I thought you like 90s British pop music. No. Huh. This is the worst mother's day ever.

First of all, you're not my son's. Second of all, this is not even cooked eggs. JPC peed on some eggs and you guys clearly like stamped on them, put them on this plate on the serving tray, orange juice with pulp, and a little flour. We did our best. Yeah, I made you orange juice with the pulp

because you always say I wanna drink like common people, right? Okay, I love my sons. Yay! Mommy's back. Mommy's back. Ew, ew, ew. I'm out of our five. Little mommy's boy. And I have aify. I'm Little Mommy's Boy.

And I have a burp stuck in my chest. No, Aaron. That's the worst, Aaron. That's the worst. We made your breakfast in bed because we failed last episode to ask you how your birthday was. You just celebrated a birthday not too long ago. How was your birthday?

Yeah, I'm 29 now. I was 26 when we started recording this podcast. And now I'm 29. I have a little less than a year before I'm 30 It was good. I got my period I cry Yes It was good. I had a good birthday. I wanted to tell you guys I was with Sean's family Because his brother you what I'm sorry I wanted to tell you guys, I was with Sean's family because his brother, you were with him. Scamal, how dare you.

His brother's birthday is the day before mine. So sort of a joint birthday celebration. Whoa, oh, a Spike Lee joint. And we were eating dinner and it sort of turned into them telling me riddles on my birthday. But now we're into dinner, everyone sort of went around and told me all the riddles they knew. And I was like, wow, did they send you? Did JPC and Adel get you guys too? And they're like, airing your paranoid and then they just backed out of the room. To me that feels like, like when Muhammad Ali was retired

and everyone that took a picture with him wanted to do the boxing fists. And it's just like, I don't want to pose with a riddle. I don't want to hear about riddles. I'm happy to meet anyone, happy to take a picture. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to you about riddles. The riddle pose is this.

This is work. This podcast is work. I don't want to talk about work when I'm off work. No, it was so sweet of them. They were like trying to get on board with my interest, but I was like, wow, they don't know I hate riddles. Can I have to ask, is this episode gonna be the riddles they posed to you?

We already did them, because there was an episode where I did all of the coil family riddles. That's true. Probably episode 11 or 12. It feels like that thing where you tell someone that you're a comedian or that you're like an improviser and then they start to like tell you like all the jokes that they know or like, well, you have you heard this one? Except like riddles is like an infinitely less relatable thing.

Like humor is pretty common because everyone enjoys a laugh, but like not many people enjoy a puzzle or to be tricked. To be fooled. I do. I have a question for our listeners really quick. After the, what was it? Boge Tau, Columbia, incident where 100,000 people, ish have a message JPC with the link to that song. I think it was the most explosive that we have received fan content about the show. And to be clear, I think a lot of people were like, I remember this. Like, I think that song was way more ubiquitous in grade school and high schools

all across the country than I had any idea. It's something loose and the people have spoken. It's very, every Halloween I experience something somewhat similar where a million magic tavern fans all Send me either DMs or emails or links on social media to a recipe for pizza skulls It's like a pastry. It's like a puff pastry. It's like skulls with pizza inside of them because once on an episode Usually go talk to about pizza skull and so every single year We get a million people reaching out to be like have you seen this and I can't stress enough. We have on an episode years ago, we talked about pizza school. And so every single year, we get a million people reaching out to be like,

have you seen this? And I can't stress enough we have. That's really sweet that they care so much about Bogota, home-be-en-peek-a-le. I'm hoping to jar memory for people. I think I've talked about this in the show before, but I'm starting to feel a little crazy because I don't know anyone else who had this one,

or a kid. In the 80s and early 90s, there was a thing that you could get at like novelty shops where it was a tape and there's only one song on the tape and it is a birthday song but it's not happy birthday. It's an original song but it would plug people's names into it. So you would like go and there would be all these tapes and different categories for songs and it would be like, Michael, Jennifer, Aaron and my mom would get us these birthday tapes. And so it was like these original songs that the guy who recorded them recorded

everyone in the universe's name too, that they would just plug into that song. And my mom would play it every year on our birthday. Sorry, Adel, it's no. They did not have Adel. I have no idea. I didn't keep track of all these tapes and I haven't met anyone who had one of these in all. My son's name is Bort as well. Yeah, let alone the specific one I had. And if you had the Zoom birthday song tape cassette with your name in it, please message me so I feel less crazy. Am I? I see what's yeah, go ahead. Do you remember the song sounds like? Yeah, of course. It's like hey Aaron, it's your birthday It's like, hey Aaron, it's your birthday. I'm in charge of the stars and I'm here to say,

hey Aaron, you're the big star today. Bumpa, dumpa, dump, my name is Zoom and I live on the moon and I've came down to earth just to sing you this tune. Singing Aaron, happy birthday. I see, I see what happened here. Aaron, you walked into a store and stumbled into a drunk Frank Sinatra. Now, when happy was, he asked your name and he put together a little lounge act just for

you. Well, let me sing you the end and then you can tell me if this sounds like him. And so tonight when you're in bed, find me to the moon. And I've got blue eyes and I'm drunk and I'm John Calemnade and vodka and beer and all the other stuff and drugs and I'm Frank Sinatra and I'm drunk in a store happy birthday and see you next year. Wait, now that could have been Dean Martin. Yeah, that would be Dean Martin. Because what he did was do and call himself Frank Sinatra.

Yeah, it's him. He was junior old blue eyes. I was trying to describe this Tushon on my birthday and was struggling and I was like, I need to mention this on Hey Riddle Reddle because someone will know what I'm talking about and I would love. So I'm like,

Can the internet and the fans will come to your rescue, Aaron? Can I point out that you said this Tushon, but the way you said Tushon was like two chains, Tushon? Well, I said it to two chains and Tushon two shan and two chains whispered it to shan because Aaron and shan are not talking right now I don't even know what's big big shan two chains hates to be in the middle of it But there he is. Well, here's what I'll say I recognize this summer on NBC two chains in Aaron I recognize what Aaron's doing so we just talked about how two chains in Aaron. I recognize what Aaron's doing. So we just talked about how JPC putting that song out into the atmosphere into the ether has caused us to have the most feedback ever. So what Aaron's

doing is you trying to piggyback onto the success of JPC's South America song. So Aaron, you're being so transparent and I'm going to absolutely join you and I'm going to say, uh, hey, remember. Hey, please. You know, hey, all you six year olds, remember there is a candy that was like a little coffin with a bunch of bones inside of it and you eat the bones. I think that was just eating bones out of coffins. I think you eat coffin bones, man.

And then you go to the doctor and they say, you have a mummy's curse in your tummy. One thing that I would, I guess there is a place that I could get this, but it's not a place near me. When I was younger, my grandparents used to have a condo in Florida that they would go two for like five months out of the year in the wintertime, and we would drive down there in our car. And we didn't have these in Indiana, but once you go south, you have this place called

Waffle House, which you guys are familiar with Waffle House, right? I've never had a waffle. Good, okay, but you're familiar with a house where you would procure one. But in the Waffle House, they have a jukebox, and we were so unfamiliar with jukeboxes that we would go crazy when we saw the jukebox in the Waffle House.

And we were like driving through Tennessee, we had stopped at a waffle house. It was early, early morning, like we had driven through the night and it was early morning, we were eating Waffle House when we were like driving through Tennessee, we had stopped at a waffle house. It was early, early morning. Like we had driven through the night and it was early morning, we were eating waffles when we were very young kids. And we begged my mom for a quarter so that we could put songs in the jukebox.

And the song that we played, we played it like three times in a row, was a song called Happy Birthday Waffle House. But here's the thing, we were looking for the shittiest song we played in the waffles because we thought that we were leaving. But my mom had not yet paid the check.

So we were all sitting there at the table when the song Happy Birthday Waffle House came on. And it was just us and truckers in there. And like not truckers in a good mood. Like when I say truckers, I'd be like, I mean, these are people who... I love when truckers are in a good mood. These are not happy to be their truckers.

But I remember the song Happy Birthday Waffle House had come on again and one of the truckers are in a good mood. These are not these are not happy to be their truckers but I remember the song Happy Birthday Waffle House had come on again and one of the truckers looked at me and my brothers it goes you're not from a round here are you. You got one of those in real life. I don't know. That's the dream. I've ever gotten a real one of those. That's like getting a y'all come back now you're here. Those are so rare. That's like diamond. Well you're a young boy and you are did a prank. The prank is falling apart at the seams and this song like Happy Birthday Waffle House is like playing a duke box for the second time. You don't want to get a you're not from around here. Are you? That's fantastic. Well speaking of you're not from around here all of us are very very young and we hate puzzles

But we have amongst our mists. We have a old man puzzles. Who's who's that today? I'm so old. I have a blanket over my knees and legs. Oh FDR you shouldn't no don't try and stay up No, I have this chair. I sit and watch my stories and my grandson comes and he reads to me every day after school. I mean, old man puzzles, you're talking like this, it's like a fucked up and weird thing, but I legit love to sit with a blanket over my legs. Oh my God, just to like have a blanket and trap that heat in, in the winter time, nothing gets better.

I have that little British water bottle I put on my feet. It gives me more. Oh, this is a Dessani. Oh, and Old Man Puzzles is your grandson that lamp with a leather jacket hung over it? Yeah, she's a de-handsome and tall. I love him. Sometimes we fans

It's so eerie she's sitting perfectly still I think I think all mid puzzles is also singing I'm blue of a D. Avada right now No, it's another one. Can I tell you about the time I met Frank Sinatra. No, please no, please don't we just wanted to do puzzles Well, I'll tell you he was here Old blue eyes puzzles. Yeah, and he sang to me and I said thanks an entrepreneur You better get a two feet away from me because I'm married and if I faint right now It'll be right into your mouth with the kiss and then he said mail man. Oh the mailman. Is there someone I can call? I should, we be recording this. I feel like, I feel like this is ex-portative. I don't know.

I'm just gonna be the one who should play this a therapy. I think, JPC, I think Aaron just created a new character called Jean P. Riddles. I got Eric confused earlier, and I put Pudger Pop to those in a casserole dish. This is Grandma Puzzles. This is Grandma Puzzles is the newest character and our show that's got 120 something at the end.

Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. Thank you Grandma Puzzles. That's fun. All right. Mm. Also, Grandma Puzzles, can we take you to the farm upstate? The one where all those dead dogs are. On the one where I can go apple picking from a window.

The first one. Oh, OK. The one where they grow dead dogs. All right. Actually, and here's what's cool. Everybody. I, actually, and here's what's cool. Everybody. I'm ready. We'll decide what's cool.

All of our riddles are coming from one listener this week. No, shut up. Who? Who? I'm jealous of them. Oh, he's getting, well, Phil Hoi, and you can use my full name if you want, is getting all the attention. So Phil Hoi was saying, so I was planning to send you 100 Reddles to keep you afloat

for a bit, which is very sweet. That's wild. That's wild. But we sync like rocks, so good luck. Speaking of keeping us afloat and syncing like rocks, isn't Phil Hoi what a naval captain yells when they see land? No, you're thinking of oh shit Guys come up here quick quick quick. Phil hoi. Phil hoi's would a naval captain yells when they see cookies. That's right

Chips the hoi. Oh my god someone give JPC a comedy medal Well, I was thinking if your name is Phil Hoy and you do decide that you're going to have children Which I think that you know is irresponsible Phil frankly, but and you do decide that you're going to have children, which I think that, you know, is irresponsible, Phil, frankly. But if you do, chip, chip Hoi, that's a great name. NGBC real quick, I do have to give you some comedy metal, aluminum. It's probably the funniest metal. Oh, boy.

Okay, so I made it to 30, so we didn't make it 200. Something before the life burnout associated with 2020 kicked in still hopefully you guys enjoyed these we will Thanks for being one of my favorite podcasts and entertaining me every week you guys are amazing. Thank you so much Phil these are wonderful and I'm gonna just get started. I did that old lady bit for too long I don't know what happened. I forgot that we had to do riddles Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah, yes And it's so cool. It's 30 cuz Aaron you're you're about to turn 30 and so this is like

Yeah, you like it when I'm like I love when I turned when I turn 29 People immediately start talking about how I'm about to turn 30 We're absolutely making hats that say don't rush my life. Don't tell Sean that I'll ever be 30. Or I'll pack all of his bags and get out the door. When my older brother, whose theory is older than me, turned 29, I spent that whole year telling him that he was closer to death than 30.

Oh my god. Okay, ready? Yes. A single letter would suffice. For my name to be said, a second letter is used twice. Let that buzz around your head. This is a warm up riddle. Okay, I think I know the answer.

I think I know the answer. Oh, I think I know the answer. Who am I? I think I know the answer. You're out. You're out. I sound like that two. Damn it. The answer better be. You're out. You're out. Oh, I sound like that too. Damn it.

The answer better be B. B. These are dying rapidly and we need to save them. Okay. I want to see a scene. JPC and Aaron, you are two. Bs and you are, you've found out that neither one of you can have honey. In turn, make honey.

Sure. And to B's, honey's like children. Got it, thank you. So what are B's? To be, that does it about it, that does it about it. We all get to do it. We're two B's, we can't make honey. Oh my God.

Long shift today for the queen. Yeah. But now I'm ready to come home and put in shift today for the queen. Yeah. But now I'm ready to come home and put in my shift for my queen. I have a secret. I feel really bad about what I just said. Just, it's fine. There's more practice.

Because obviously she's my queen and you're not, I mean, I love you as well, but she's, you know, it's work. Okay, I'm locking the door. No, but you're doing the work and we talked about that in therapy and I appreciate you doing the, I'm locking the door. What's going on? No, but you're doing the work and we talked about that in therapy, and I appreciate you doing the work

of being honest. What's going on? Okay, just lock the door and close the black lines. It's locked, yeah, close the blinds, okay. Hold on, give me one second. I want to hear you in this. Step ladder to get these fucking blinds. When just so big of this, a apiary.

Apeary, why do they call it an apiary, by the way? Do we look like apes? Honey, I didn't go to school. I don't know. I skipped. I was a cool and high school apes? Honey, I didn't go to school. I don't know. I skipped. I was a cool and high school member. Yeah, I do remember, okay? I was, you know, a nerd.

We fell in love anyway. Love anyway. Yeah, okay, so, okay, so I, I've been going to work, right? Sure, we all do, yeah, we have to. And we like, and clean. We like fly around, right? And then in a little like, like, what are they called? Like diamondy things? Like flowers? Like the hive. No, no, not flowers. Like that. We go to flowers, right? We say hello.

We go like, you get the stuff from the flowers. And then we bring it back to like the little comb, the honeycomb part. Honeycomb. Yeah, like the comb part. And yes. Okay. So I like eating and eating at the flowers Sure, yeah, and then I go back to the compart and then I start rubbing my butt up against the comb till I get that way Yeah, yeah, nothing comes out not nothing comes out So I just sit there and I just sort of like rub my butt and then so for the last like a few weeks I've been going to trade our joes and Like spending like so much money on honey and then like Mary what do you say and then Jesus Christ what are you saying to me right now and then putting the honey I will put honey on my butt

from Trader Joe dip it in and then I'll put it up up up against the honey coo what what you who's honey is that it's not what fucking bees honey are you dipping your feet but not cheating I'm just saying you're not cheating I'm not I got one hand job, but I've been in therapy for four years and you're not I was a therapy is about okay the therapy is punishment the therapy is punishment Absolutely isn't punishment and who only wants hand jobs in their life I didn't even want it. I was on an airplane. I misunderstood what they were saying. Can I come out from under the bed? Hey, who is this?

Who is this Mary? It's Beezis Christ. Hey, I just want to say I'm sorry. Beezis Christ. You got a lot of nerve showing up here. Beezis the one who makes the Trader Joe's honey. That's why it's so good. I turn honey into more honey.

And I also have sticky mada. Can I come out? Can I come out? Can I come out for a handicap? Who's that? It's B, L's above. Honey, I don't know what to tell you. You got a hand-drawn on an airplane a few years ago,

and now I'm sleeping with B, L's above, and B's is crazy. B's is crazy. Actually, just to be clear, I'm sleeping with Bees else about that. I didn't know that he was gonna get my spot blown up here. So you're also sleeping with Bees. Oh, fuck. Okay, well you know what, I'm gonna get the queen.

I'm gonna get the queen and tell her that you can't produce honey, okay? Damn. Honestly, let's get the queen. Let's turn this into a little five-subm action. I'm into that scene. Ooh, all those bees are about to get really horny for each other. What do you think of bees like when it gets horny? Have you ever seen a bee movie? Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld? Yeah, why not?

I'm not found in any store, but that might be what I do. Otherwise, I'm adding more texture to the blue. Oh my god, my Boston accent just came out. Am I okay? Texture to the blue. Texture. I told you I texture, just wait. It's only been two days.

I'm gonna text you. It brought me to be a text four days ago. He tried to jump over his head. He tried to jump over the fence and he got his escort. Um, Aaron, I went too hard on the Boston thing. Can you please read the riddle again? I thought he was. He went too hard.

He went in his head. Okay. I'm not found in any store, but that might be what I do. Otherwise, I'm adding more texture to the blue. I don't know. Pants that fucking fit me. Te texture to the blue. I don't know, pants that fucking fit me. Texture to the blue. Not found in any store, but that's what I do. Just focus on, I would say focus on the other wise,

I'm adding more texture to the blue. What's blue? What's blue? Blue's a color, water, so color. No, well sort of water's involved. So you're gonna disagree that blue is a color Aaron So I think I might have a clue on the alright clue. I think I might have a lead on the first part so the first part is I'm not found in any store, but that's what I'll do or something

But that might be what I do so you store something so this is something that you would store something Yeah, but that I wouldn't exactly I would never have used that word naturally. Oh, the container store. Oh, the container store. I walk around there for hours and it's my dream place. The only store that I've been working for. They say, sir, wear a mask. Or it could be like Dunkerous because I never find those in shells anymore.

I don't think there are any. I think there may be a win out of business, right? Wow, that stinks. Yeah. All right, what is something that's blue? That's not water. The sky. The sky.

What adds texture to the sky? Clouds. Clouds. They store water. It's the answer. Oh. Oh. Clouds.

Clouds. Clouds. Clouds. that texture. Much scarier world if there's clowns in the sky and said, it's mommies. Mommy, can you kill the sky clown? Mommy, if I'm in a tall-tell building and I reach out the window with a coffee cup,

can I scoop up a clown? I quit. I quit being your mom. I'm done. All Alright, here we go. It's easier to be aware. You'll find as long as I'm around. Feel the burn. I'll make you care. It's not safe, so I'll bring sound.

Either a wolf or Richard Simmons. Is it be aware we're wolf? But then work out with Richard Simmons. It's easier to be aware. You'll find as long as I'm around. It's easier to be aware. You'll find as long as I'm around. It's easier to be aware. You'll find as long as I'm around. Feel the burn.

I once again, asking you to solve this riddle. I'll tell you where. It's not safe, so I'll bring sound. Sorry, I like while I was reading that, I wasn't here mentally. Do you know what I mean? The first time through when I was reading it, I went somewhere else.

We saw it in your eyes. Your pupils turned into little clumps, smiles. Honestly, I was thinking, you reminded me of a moment with my mom. Not that she ever quit being my mom, but that brought me back to a memory for a second. I was like, whoa. So I wasn't paying attention when I was reading that

right, what's up? Do you mind sharing that memory? No, it has nothing to do with us fighting or anything I just like you can use said the word mom in it like jostle to my brain. Can we still hear the memory? That's why they called me the mom jostle We can't we can't sing cats we can't sing cats on two back to back Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Cat angelic. Cook cat. All right. Let me at least you One of these episodes has to go. Yeah, cool cat and jelly, cook cat.

All right, let me at least you. From Tom Tugurizekurizkat. Oh, that move. Aaron, I'll be honest with you, I stopped listening to you what this riddle was when you said feel the burn in it. And then I was like, okay, John, you can do the Bernie Sanders suppression. I know you can't stand one before.

Come on, buddy. And then I did that in my mind for a little while. It's easier to be aware you'll find as long as I'm around. Feel the burn, I'll make you care. It's not safe, so I'll bring sound. Not safe, so I'll bring sound. Makes me think of like when people in movies

wear a stethoscope and they put it up to the safe to hear the sound of the click so they can open it up. Is it a stethoscope? No. Does it have anything to do with a safe cracker? No. Not cracker. No.

But I love, I love cracker. I love all of these Christmas bellies. Follow me in it is Christmas time. My name is Saint Nick. Uncle Cracker was friends with Kid Rock, I think, right? We just asked him for something. Yeah, they were friends or cousins. I don't think so. I don't think they're related. It was like a Snoop Dogg easy-ease situation. Yeah, they were friends or cousins. I don't think so.

I don't think they're related. I think it's a Snoop Dogg easy-e situation. I think they're cousins. Or Warren G. I'm sorry. I'd say the part that's gonna help you get it the most is feel the burn and make you care. It's not safe, so I'll bring sound. It's not safe, so I'll bring sound.

It's not safe, so I'll bring sound. Safe and sound. What happened? Capital cities, or what's the name of that being what what makes sound when it's not safe I know A fire alarm If any alarm Fire alarm, but there's no the law I

Want to see a scene JPC you are Your upstairs asleep when suddenly your alarm goes off you don't know why but you have to go turn it off and check in with it air in your other alarm oh god uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... fuck out of like that oh god oh my gosh there's a fire uh... oh fuck you probably get out or someone's cooking no no no no there no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no Off off Oh, there's a bit cancel cancel alarm kids a little bar. He a fire broke up with me and now he's here

Can you tell it to go no? There's no fire here. I don't know what are you kidding me? Dude are you obsessed with me? Are you following me? All right? Let me just let me touch it so I can take the batteries out I'm gonna go run back. Oh my god. Excuse me. What are you doing? I was gonna take the batteries out here Okay, I'm sorry You want to die in the night because I'm not sure to I tell you that fire is here I'm trying to say that there is no fire My god

Can I get you wrong with me? I thought for sure there was a fire. No, there's nothing wrong with you. Oh, hold on, I'm sorry. Hang out for a second. My doorbell is ringing. It's so late at night. I'm on the ceiling.

Yeah, just be there for a second. Hello? Hey, I'm from the fire department. We heard that there was an alarm or something going on. Yeah, I'm so sorry. My my smoke alarm went off. I think one of my roommates was cooking, but it does this all the time. It should. Wait, smoke here. No. Oh my God. Are you kidding me?

Yeah, it's not a big deal, but it's there's nothing I can do about it. It's the a lot. You can't take the batteries out, so. Oh, okay. All right. You work cool? Yeah, work cool. Okay. Also, I'm from the fire department. I represent a large number of people

who have recently been fired. You from the fire department. Okay, I let you in my house. This was a big mistake. Can I have some cake? What's that? It's milk bad here. Hey, man, you brought the cake in here

so you could have as much of it as you want. It's your cake. Maybe you could grab a plate if you're gonna eat cake. I'm sorry about the bad smell. That might be this man's cake. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

This may be a dream. Beep. Seen. Ha ha ha. You clearly died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my body warning me Like you have to get up now because the poisoning is getting you

well Let's go ahead and take a quick break everyone please check the batteries in your smoke alarm and your fire detector Whatever those are called check your safe hide your children hide your wives and we'll be right back with more Grandma these your children and hydrogives and we'll be right back with more. Grama Puzzies. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah? You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal and I'm setting up a website to prank him.

Um, I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in that agency online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience.

And so let me think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up

on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna shoot you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from.

That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website for prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for.

The website was for. Prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Reddit, third party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle?

I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Erin. Hey, Erin. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how?

I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an empaths. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Adel, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices, and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it

for several years and it suits the way that my brain works, way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist,

and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPCs putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash riddle R I D D L E. R I D D L E the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the to see helping at home. Bye. Am home. Riddle of riddle because it would be the space in I am home

Who are we I Clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday I'm also excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Mm-hmm rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, uh, sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clean, clean, clean. Mm hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also

get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint. Over three million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, Clint, Clint, Clint. Stop. No, Clint, stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way

by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website And we're back grandma. Can we have some cookies? Yes, you can have these tall house cookies I bought in 1993. Oh, tell us about the 1920s grandma. Okay, sure. Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du- 20s I was 45 years old. Okay. What do you add? That's very funny. He's old as a shit and

1920 bird crab. We were having the best time you could have and then came the 1930s and it ruined the party I don't know. What about the 30s ruined the 20s? Oh All of my money was gone Hitler started talking. Pudding stuff. Okay. You know what? Can we just get the cookies?

We don't have cookies. Yeah, we have a lot of stuff today. I don't want to be here anymore. It smells like egg soup. Can we just get the cookies maybe we can go? I'm giving you some egg soup to go in a tupperware dish. Damn it. Alright, and send me a video of you boys eating it later.

How would we send you a video? I don't know. Put it out of VCR. Convert it to slideshow. The guy in the palette that you put the slides in and yeah, yeah, you dropped the slides in. Is that too much to ask? I guess not, Grandma.

Well, I guess we can convert it to a slideshow the next December here. Thank you. I'll be dancing. But Grandma, Grandma, oh no, you won't, don't say that. Grandma, as we're leaving, I'm gonna convert this goodbye into a wave.

I'll find a little tech humor. I don't understand those gotten to jokes. Oh Grandma, I'm the same age and I didn't get it either so. Hi five. You said you were the same age. Oh man. Got it. The character.

Got your ass. Oh more. Riddles from Phil, we're still on more of a brittle so I have a feeling this will last a few episodes. Hell yeah, okay. My head is spinning constantly. I've made many people die. I possess an inner beauty if you look me in the eye. Medusa, beautiful. I have a song stuck in my head. My head was so... Can you sing it? Can you share it? We...

Sean watched the first 20 minutes of... Was it called Big Daddy? With Adam Sandler? Yeah, with Adam Sandler. Yeah, Aaron, it's called Big Daddy. I love Rupus Wainwright and one of his songs started playing. And I was like, I forgot about this song. Remember the song?

It's like, I don't want somebody to love me. Oh, yeah. Give me sex whenever I want it. Do you remember the song? Intensely. It's in chocolate. I love that song. Everything about it is a little bit weird. I love catown. Sorry guys. What? The only song that I know on this episode is Uncle Cracker. So I can't relate to any of this. All right, well, you can just shop on your phone. You can check.

So yeah, I also got a battery. So ahead spinning, you killed many people. Is this like the top from inception? How many people has that top killed? Is that the, do I know, not know about like a sequel that happened? Well, they're sucking this other reality, so they die eventually. Oh, Aaron, did you never see in...

Top-s... Threats... In Threption? And that's the third one. What would the second be? Skinception? It's get in sec-skept. The screen-fold...

The screen-fold... The GPC walk away. Walk away, buddy. Cut your losses and walk away. It's grabbing my arm. It's telling me to come back. the screen full. JPC walk away. Walk away, buddy. Cut your losses and walk away. Yeah, I can't. It's cold. It's grabbing my arm. It's telling me to come back.

I hate when that happened. If you die in this podcast, you died in real life. My, if you died in real life, you died in real life. Oh, man, that really, it does look like Adel and JPC are being attacked when they're trying to figure out a joke. My head is spinning constantly. I've made many people die. I possess an inner beauty if you look me in the eye. Possess an inner beauty if you look me in the eye.

So something that spins and kills many people, that could be like the sprinkler. The head of a bomb or something like that? No. Like that's like spinning in the airs, it's coming a bomb or something like that? No. Like that's like spinning in the airs, it's coming down. It's like, I know so many people have died on like carnival rides. Is it like a teacup ride or something? Is it a bull?

Is it a bull? Is it a bull? Is it a bull? Is it a bull? That's someone ever died on a teacup ride? Jesus. Absolutely. It's not a bull.

You're, I like these guesses. Um, I would- Cause like, I know when you shoot a bullet out of like the barrel of a gun, the rifling like turns it and it makes it spin. I would say the thing that you're closest to is bomb only because I feel like the destruction looks pretty similar. Oh, is it Adel in the bathroom

after Frickin Thanksgiving dinner, my man? Oh, I love gross jokes. Do more! Cranberry scos! No, that's blood, my man. Oh, I love gross jokes. Do more. Canned Mary's Scars. No, that's blood in my poop. Oh, I'm so sorry, Adel, you should see a doctor about that. Nope. What's something that spins that is destructive?

It doesn't have to say like moves in a circular fashion is destructive. What's something that's stuck to you? I'll actually accept two answers. Oh, is it eight weeks in trouble? Three. What did you guys say? Tasmanian wheat pressure? No. What's something that's actually except two ant's? Oh, is it eight wheat and threshold? What did you guys say? Tasmanian wheat, threshold?

No. Batman, I mean, I mean that. Spins in a circle in this hurricane? Yeah, hurricane or tornado? Or the scorpions? Oh. Oh, I would like to see a scene. Yeah, okay.

JPC, your tornado, add all your, and you're talking at a party. And so what I did is I came off the coast, right? And I, and I, I had been drinking. And my friend Tom was like, oh, shouldn't you put down a coaster? And it was, I mean, you had to be there, but it was, it was so funny. It was just so, it was the timing was perfect. What about you, where have you been? Um, I mostly see the water. Oh, really? Yeah, Kansas.

All fun. Parts of Indiana. You know, I was going to say Kansas, but I didn't know if you think I was joking just because of the whole movie thing and like the trope, you know. So how do you know, Doug? You're not not Kansas anymore? I've been wanting to say that yeah, I get that I get that a lot Doug Doug is actually Can I be honest with you? I don't know Doug. I'm crashing this party. I Saw Finn Spon and Owen Wilson do it and you said you know what I can do it too. Can I be honest with you? Yeah? I don't know Doug. You know, I'm crashing this party too. It's actually I'm actually crashing with a friend. Oh,

it's it's Owen Wilson. Oh, wow. Can I meet him? Absolutely. Oh, it's come here. This is I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name. Oh, my name is Hurricane. Hurricane. No, I'm sorry. My name is Hermen Cain. Nope. I'm sorry, my name is Herman Cain. Nope. Nope. No, it's Herman. It's Herman. Owen, Owen, this is, this is, this is Hurricane.

Hello, nice to meet you. I'm sorry. Owen, Owen's a little sheepish because Owen doesn't know if he could do his voice. Owen, come on. Owen, you got this. Owen, you got this. Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen.

Wow. Hold on, Owen. No, it's, it's, it's nasally, but wow. Wow. Oh, no, it's it's nasally, but wow Oh Oh, I'm just I it's midnight in Paris Can I just add that that's what yellow I'm such a big fan. Can I just say and you mentioned you mentioned him So I want to introduce a friend I brought please meet Vince Vaughn

Okay, and Vince is also he's I feel like he's he's Here and uh, it's great great. It's great. It's great. We're doing good. I'm doing great. I'm Vince Vaughn Here we go and I'm here Vince Owen sounds like you guys are really hitting it off We're gonna be two to talk. We what't we back away from this? Vince and Owen. You two too. Have that. We're gonna love each other. You're my best friend.

You're my best friend in the whole world. Let's crash some more weddings. Wow, I don't know. That's the best idea. What? What? What? Rachel, I'm gonna get out of it.

I'm trying to tell you that. What? It's an awesome idea. Rachel. Rachel, you're here at this party as well. Rachel is part of this hospital. I'm Rachel McHabbin. You made this happen.

This is by your design and you're mad at me that I can't do any of the impressions. Unbelievable. I like how, as soon as Aaron Mitchell mentions Rachel McHabbin's add-ups, Adam's like, I don't know what we need. The carbon-vadax like I don't know what we did the carbon Vodox Well, once you're talking to yourself. I'm like, clearly she's either sleeping or dead. I don't arrive until the end of eternity yet I've been at the start of your every yesterday. No, I know it. I Know it. It's in smart ass Well, I sometimes that it's it's in smart ass. Well, I sometimes know it because AEIOU money, and I will pay you back the money,

not just in IOU form, but why? But why? So much time to get it right. Why? Because I want to. But sometimes, I, I, I, what can you do over time, it's like, I've met the start of tomorrow.

But hold on. You just said it. Hold on, that's top. I said it's the letter Y. At the end of eternity, but at the start of your something. Yesterday? Yeah. At the start of every yesterday?

You got it. Hell yeah. I may come from water, from the water. Sorry, I may come from the water. Work on from your hand. A fish, this is young Aaron and a jacuzzi. Wow. You may comeacuzzi. Wow. You may come from the walk.

Wow, you are. Or your hands. Or your head. Wow, you could have just said young Addle. Nothing more guilty than using someone else's name, bitch. Someone was too scared to say, I came from a jacuzzi when I was a kid. Let me deflect and say it was my friend. I can came from a jacuzzi when I was a kid. Let me deflect and say it was my friend. I can come from a wet pillow sand.

You think I'm a little adult. Let's add all. You think I'm a little adult? I was alone in a jacuzzi ever as a kid. You wish. I never had one spin alone with a jacuzzi. Okay. I may come from the water.

That's hilarious. I am coming in jacuzuzi or come from your hand, masturbation. Board, you may use me or see me from sand. I may come from the water or come from your hand. You see, what was it? See, that's it. It really is come from the water, come from the hand, right?

Yeah. Is. Board, you may use me or see me from sand. Board, uh! I did it! I got my bird out! Aaron, that's great, and I would like to get this out. The answer, a wave!

Yeah, you got it! It's a wave. All right, next one, these... Wait a second, I said wave hours ago, and you guys said it was a joke you didn't get. Yeah! And that was for a different riddle now. Ready? If these are hominem, hominem, hominem, hominem, hominem, hominem. And again, I'm so sorry, I don't want to be that guy, but that's hot porridge.

Hot porridge, hot porridge, hominem. Hominem. Okay. Women be hominem. Hominem. If I'm land, I'm super chill. A degree can leave me throne. If I'm busted, I can kill.

For the foolish, I'm a cone. I'm a cone. Foolish, I'm a cone. What do idiots put ice cream in? Quick, JPC, roll the magazine, what? They're hands. What would JPC Riddle put ice cream in? Hold on, let me dial JP riddles.

I'm gonna see a scene while you're dialing. I wanna see a scene. Adel, you are going into it, yes, I got it in the out of the wire. You're going into an ice cream store, Aaron, you are working at that ice cream store. Adel, you're ordering a scoop of ice cream, but the sign at the top of the store, or the top of the store, says like cone, waffle cone bowl,

but you don't wanna pay any for that extra, you just want it in your hand. Part me, Andy. I'm not gonna work here. Yeah, I'm like 18. Can I get you something? Do you wanna try a sample? Ha ha ha.

Sure, I'm 34 and I'd love to try a sample. Can you tell me about the mac and odd cherry chunk? It's super overrated and weird, and mostly only old people get it when they're in here. I'll try it, please. Okay. Do I have to pay extra for a smile? Oh boy, that sucks.

Wow, you're not even that old that you should be saying that. Hi, I'm sorry, I'm Doug. I'm the manager. I'm 36. Is there a problem over here, Nance? No, this guy's just told me I should smile, which sort of sucks. Also, dude, by the way, I'm sorry that happened to your party this weekend. No, it's okay. You know, it happens every year. The local teens say that they want me to buy a bunch of alcohol and throw a huge party and then I do it and then they burn my house out but I go to the store. Yeah, I heard a little soon Vincpon a hurricane and tornado were there. What?

Sorry, I'm still here and of course we know the customer is always white and I am a Caucasian man asking for ice cream. What I want you to do is take all those samples, put them in an ice cream scoop, form a ball, then take that ball and place it in my hand those samples, put them in an ice cream scoop, form a ball, then take that ball and place it in my hand so I can leave here with some ice cream. Okay, so you want sort of the full ice cream experience. But if you can look up at the sign, it says, come, laugh a con, con, con, con, and so on. So like, if it's none of those things, we can't put it in there. Yeah, so we can't put it in there.

And we're going to have to actually, we're going put it in there. Yeah, so we can't put it in there. And we're gonna have to actually, we're gonna have to ask you to leave the store. I wanna hear you read the sign manager. Read the sign that she just read. And Nance was exactly right. It says, come, we have a can, can, and we're just gonna, and we're just gonna, and we're just gonna ask her.

And that's our policy, because one time I passed through and made us put their scoop into a fish. Oh, can I have that? Well, that's fish food. and now it is an official flavor that we do sell here, and you can have it, but you have to have it in a con, we have for camping, camping, grocery camp.

I guess I'll take a grouchy cup then. Okay, he'll have to go grab your cup. Seen. Oh, wait, is it? Yeah, sorry, I've been on, it's been ringing and ringing and ringing. Did we get through? Did we get through to JP Roodles?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hey, JP Roodles on it's been ringing and ringing and ringing. Did we get through? Did we get through to JP Riddles? Hello? Hello? Uh, hey, JP Riddles. It's always this. Uh, it's Aaron Adela and JP C. Hey, how is this? JP Riddles, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm actually shocked you have a phone. I thought I told you never to call here again.

You did JP Riddles, but we have a question that we know you know the answer to. I'm not answering no questions from any of you. Well, I have one real quick question, the question I want to ask. How did you get the number 119? Fine, ask the questions. I guess I have two questions.

What is your phone made out of? Just kidding. Leave a message after me, but Jake, be real. So get to your call this door. It's so perfect. If you're a squirrel don't expect to call back. Bye bye. See. God damn it. God damn it. God, I call for that every time. Every time with that shit. Well, to be fair, we didn't

dial a phone. We put two quarters and a cat's butt hole and then choked it. Whatever it works. We got through it. Maybe maybe we're in other quarters. Maybe we're in the more quarters. We didn't kill the cat. We didn't know what add-on says we choked it. Of course, that's a euphemism for masterman. I'm not handling how much trouble we're gonna be in for this episode. Okay. I'm not handling how much trouble we're gonna be and for this episode, okay. Go.

Hey, if I'm land, I'm super chill. A degree can leave me thrown. If I'm busted, I can kill. For the foolish, I'm a cone. Okay, I think I know this. Pine cone, pine cone, pine cone. Is it a, is it a third mommy meter? No, it is a...

Because when it's busted, it can... Something that has multiple meanings, a word that has multiple meanings. Oh, it's a homonym, something that has multiple meanings, a word that has multiple meaning. Oh, it's a homonym. That's right. Because I thought something busted could kill like mercury is very dangerous, even though

my mom used to break thermometers and play with that. And it said something about a degree in thermometers measure temperature. To grease. Yeah. But it's a homonym. So when I'm land, what was it? When I'm land, I'm busted. If I'm land, I'm super chill. Super chill I'm super chill super chill a degree can leave me throne

If I'm busted I can kill for the foolish I'm a cone Point a dunce hat No, it's cap it's cap I just said dunce cap. Oh Well, it's you said I thought you a dunce cap. Oh, well, you said, I thought you said Dunce Cap. Dunce Cap. What's a dunce cap? A cap.

Dunce Cap is what they put on. It's a cone. I don't know what a dunce cap is. What's a dunce cap? It's a dunce cap. All right, great. It's what midwesterners call a dunce cap. From tanning to toasting, I'm sorry for boasting,

but I'm found all over the place. Though to be realistic, I'm misogynistic when I'm applied to a face. I actually love this one. And this is another hominim? Hominim. I'm misogynistic when applied to a face. Oh, JPC, what was that?

You went to some restaurant and you ordered misogynistic toast. What was that called? Now I went to a restaurant and I heard a misogynistic toast. What was that called? No, I went to a restaurant and I heard a misogynistic toast. Oh wait, can you hear that? Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Oh please, I'm an asshole. You don't want me to, please, please, please. You're right.

Kling, kling, kling. Oh man, I was gonna use that sound by to destroy my friend. Getting someone to give a speech to their like, no, please have an asshole. I'm such a bad person. Don't make me smooth. Don't make me give a speech. Bad people talk more than everyone else.

That's true. Massage and Instic when you put it on a face, but it's also what you do to toast. From tanning to toasting. Tain to toasting. I'm sorry for boasting, but I'm found all over the place. Though to be realistic, I'm misogynistic.

When I'm applied to the face. Bed, a bed. You have tanning beds, you have toasting beds, and then when you lay your bed down, your face is misogynistic. When you burn somebody to their face, that's misogyn-y. I'm gonna tell you-

When you burn someone to their face- It's butter. A butter face. What is, what is, tanning, is there tanning butter? Tantning butter? Yeah, and then it's like what you put on before you go tanning. Really? Yeah, and then you put it on toast.

Not to say that, that kind of butter, but real butter. And like tanning oil, I didn't know tanning butter with. I've heard of body butter, but I thought that was like lotion I feel like shea butter shea butter or something Shea butter of the ocean in the wheat from the bubbing. Okay, so here I want to know what mystical house you grew up in that had all these songs that nobody else in the world has ever heard I don't know what song I was just saying. I think that may be from hair spec All right, here we go. Okay I think they may be from hairspray. All right, here we go.

Okay. Um, for signals, almost nothing. For lives, almost everything. If that seems vague, give it a beat. Give it a beat. So that means we have to sing this one. For give it a lies, pop it a beat. Be it a pop, give it a beat.

You're being awfully loud. And I'm trying to do my 9 a.m. nap. Grandma Rittles, oh we're sorry to wake you up. Hey can we ask what do you put an ice cream in? What do you put a scoop of ice cream in? No it's what you put in the ice cream. You use the ice cream as a bowl for your teeth that night. That way when you put the men in the morning it tastes delicious. Oh Grandma Riddles. Grandma Puzzles. We're so worried about you. Can we please

What to move in with us? No, what the fuck? What? Move in with us. Let us take care of you full time. I'm saying. Can we please put you down for one room in our house? Okay. Well, how many cats do you have as for my bed there? I'm my bed is cat. Well, we had a couple, but the animal control took them away because we kept putting quarters in their butt. But yeah.

They called JP Riddle's boy the second. Grandma, we should go get some. We should set you up. It's been a long time since grandpa puzzles divorced your ass. Why don't you get back out there? Why don't you get back out there and date again? Oh, I don't know if I would fit into my first date dress anymore. And also, I forget how to dance.

When you said first date dress, you tugged on your skin. Yeah. We have the perfect person. You would hit it off so well I think you're going to love him would you please would you please please please please for us as a favor going on a date date Puzzbot Alright, but I'm only awake for 45 minutes every day legit legit. I was gonna say oh it Wilson I was gonna make a call Everybody shut up, enough jokes.

Wow. For signals, almost nothing. For lives, almost everything. Signals, sorry, my pronunciation is bad. For signals, almost nothing. For lives, almost everything. If that seems vague, give it a beat. Okay, this could not be more muddled in my brain.

It's just kind of rolling around signals. I was like traffic signals I'm nothing so the type of signals I know are traffic signals dance beat the sign the drum beat the movie signals with No, that signs with walking Phoenix signals for signals. I am nothing Give it a beat if you're if this is too vague give it a beat. If you're, if this is too vague, give it a beat. Oh, a pulse. Mm-hmm. How'd you get that, Adel? Because Aaron mimed taking her own, to pulse.

Good job, Aaron. Thanks, Aaron. So wait, now that I know the answer, will you please reread it? For signals, almost nothing. For lives, almost everything. For signals, almost nothing for lives almost everything For signals almost nothing so pulse signals pulse is nothing for a signal What was what is that first part mean? Yeah, I'm not 100% sure for signal on nothing. Hmm. Are these original?

Philip yeah, wow For signals well for lives almost it means almost everything for lives a pulse Sure, and a pulse can be like a beta rhythm, right? Yeah Well, for lives, it means almost everything for lives. A pulse. A pulse, it must be alive. And a pulse can be like a beta rhythm, right? Yeah, worry stuff on. Turn the pulse around. It's probably a very simple explanation to this one. Just love to feel my own pulse. What's your name?

Well, isn't like pulse signals? What does that mean? Yeah, Aaron, you can't just say what are pulse signals? I'll Google it. I'll Google it. Let's hear another one. Shape is formed by a rapid or sudden change from a baseline value. Oh, interesting. Yes. Would you like to share with us? Did you bring enough for the whole class Aaron? I Don't know how to explain this. I'm not going to I know who I go ahead. Okay

So all right if you're here you're bound to be dirty. Maybe it's muck. Maybe it's flirty If you hear Maybe it's muck, maybe it's flirty. Learn me, maybe it's muck, maybe it's muck. Oh, I'll bring it to our pits. If you hear you're gonna be dirty, I'm gonna say this in a much flirty your way. So maybe a bath or a bubble bath or something. If you're here, you're bound to be dirty. Ha ha ha.

Maybe it's muck, but maybe it's flirty. Is it in that ass? No. Hmm, not a- Well, I've got some bad news for you, it's muckass. You've got muckass and it's one of the worst cases we've ever seen. But doctor, I was watching Shrek.

Shouldn't it be swamp ass? I don't know, man, I'm a doctor. You got muckass. I don't know what he was for me. If you're in me, you're bound to be dirty. If you're here. You're here. If you're here, you're bound to be dirty. So this could be...

Maybe it's muck and maybe it's flirty. This is, I think, my favorite. Maybe it's muck. And this is still a homonym. Yeah. Is it a... Your mind could be there. Or you could hominem. Yeah, is it a... Your mind could be there, or you could be there literally.

In the gutter. In the gutter, my career of a treasure. So gutter. I wanna see you two or two rats in a gutter and you're flirting. Ah, so thanks for meeting me here, tootsay, I just gotta say, like, oh, the tail on you,

yowas, yowas. I just gotta say like, oh, the tail on you, y'all, y'all was, y'all was. I wanna know on that thing, eh? Um, sorry. Are you, I should have asked, ah fuck, you did it again, Steve. Are you a talking rat? I always forget to ask this. 99 times out of 99. They are not a talking rat. I should say that I, I of course found one day I was walking through New York and found a little tube of ooze and I I put it on my fur No, oh son, I get talking I was six feet tall and I knew martial art What was that I think I heard the word sexy in there No, I did not excuse me. Oh, yes, are you talking to my wife? Oh?

Are you bothering my wife? Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm star stuck. Are you are you John Favreau? Swingers. Yeah, John Favreau. Are you are you talking to my rat wife? Uh, I should say I should say She's a rat. I'm not saying like my wife's a rat. This is a rat. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're a rat too. I've got a raty guy as well. And I'm four turtles.

I'm the first one. I'm the second. I'm the third and I'm Michelangelo. Oh shit, we gotta get out of here. A bowling ball. Goon and get goon and get goon. No, I'm John, I'm John Favreau. I'm making this movie.

Your podcast to John Favreau? You're John Favreau, I'm making this movie. Your podcasted John Favreau? Your John Favreau from Friends? Pod save these turtles. Same. Isn't it Wild Heather or Choo? That's what we've ever done. What a shit show. Isn't it Wild Heather or Choo different John Favreos?

Mm-hmm. Wow. Wow. Oh, it wasn't. Wow. Isn't it Wild that I know three women who have slept with Vince Von? Do you really? I do. That is amazing. Oh, no.

Wow, I should have told you that and told you to not tell anyone. Honestly, I'm more surprised to add on those three women. Yeah, me too. I'm like, I know he has a sister and a bob and there's errands. Like what? I'm Jimma. Jimma, Jimma. Wait, people from the TV count, right?

Um. Would they sub with, yeah, Jennifer Anderson? Jennifer Anderson. Jennifer Anderson. I love fisher. Um, yeah, I didn't sleep with Vince Vaughn, nor would I not my cup of tea. No, thank you He's more like a mug of Joe in days past I was made of wood though. That's rarely true of late Now I often quest right now I'm more often question who would go out on a fictional date

who would go out on a fictional date. Of course, date. Of course, the most famous fictional date is from Indiana Jones, where the guy, the guy who played Gimli, grabs it as Harrison Ford tries to pop it in his mouth and he squeezes it and he says, bad date. So the answer to this is either. Is the answer to this Maryfuck kill?

No. Is it John to this Mary fuck kill? No. Is it John Reece Davies? In days past, I was made of wood. So that's rarely true of late. Now I more often question who would go out on a fictional date. More like when you want two fictional people to date you. Shifting with them. You got a ship. You guys rapid fire. What two fictional characters would you like to see on a date? George and Fred Weasley. Ooh, and I'm going to say Gandalf and Dumbledore. Um, um, um, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and uh, Remy the Rat from Ratatouille.

Ninja Flirtles. Uh, uh, doodons and turtles. Uh, Pillsbury, oh boy. Michael Edgico, um, um, uh, the two can from that. Two can Sam. Yeah. Follow your nose. Who would I, who, what, these are two fictional

characters that I would like to see go on a date. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. The tricks rabbit and the, and the Gukulid. What's a Gukulid man, what's his real name? Is he just called Gukulid man? Jeff. Jeff. Oh, Jeff.

Can I, can I see a quick, do we have time for a scene? I wanna see a quick scene. The quickest of scenes. I'm gonna be a doctor. No, Aaron, you're a doctor. I am Mrs. Coolaid woman. And we are moments of, and I'm pregnant. And we are moments away from my coolaid baby

bursting through my uterine wall. All right, you're coming along, great feels wrong something feels wrong. No, it's just that you're giving birth to something that will make the world a little worse There's so much tension. There's so much tension in my lower stomach Yeah, and this is gonna be unpleasant. There will be a hole in you Because that's sort of like what how he I mean by the What we're seeing he likes to make an entrance and it's going to probably be a little painful but also very hilarious. Okay.

Oh no doctor you're not listening to my wife. I think something might be wrong. Oh no. Is there a chance that the baby is Hawaiian breach? No. No. It's punching. I'm taking your wife's pain very seriously. I do I believe her that she's so uncomfortable

I think she is uncomfortable because in any moment he's about to burst through her stomach like it's a brick wall and say oh Yeah, or if he's from on Wow, she'll go. Oh, yeah, so we went over that about 10 episodes ago, okay? So everyone's relax. Okay. I've he's from Ontario. Wow, she'll go, oh yeah. So we went over that about 10 episodes ago, okay? So everyone's black. Okay. If he's from Ontario, I'm gonna be pissed because that wouldn't be not my baby. You have the epidural.

I slept with turtle, I should say, I slept with turtle. It's okay, we've already talked about this in therapy. Me and Turtle, basically the same guy. We didn't know what she did, she didn't know what she was doing. So is either gonna be turtle from Ontario or the Cool aid man. Either way, it's going to feel bad coming out. Okay, okay.

Is it going to come out of folk-run man? Yeah. Shouldn't he be the cool aid boy? And he's going to ask for money. Now, Dr. Dr. if it is my child, is there a chance, and I don't want to be class years, there a chance that my child could come out,

Charcoal Berry Finn, or invisible grape. Oh, no, please, actor cooler, please, actor cooler. No, just the classic red. Okay. Can you give me a high C section? So I have C, C, C, C. You're not gonna get better than high C section. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Fantastic. Turtle wears hats. Oh, okay, um. Oh, okay. Is that the episode? So Phil, thank you so much for sending these in. I will finish these another time I've marked where we left off. We only got, I'm going to try to count how many we've done.

We've done one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Tenish, we've done 10ish out of the 30. We will come back to that. Tenish anyone? So can't we be short of the three? I'll look at that. I'm not quite sure. Um, everybody, please let me know if you know anything.

Even if it's not that specific song, do you ever remember getting a birthday cassette tape? Do you remember this casket full of candy bones? Or these little packets that had gummy, slimy monsters that were delicious? Yeah, you will have had to be born in 1905. With those creepy colors, because I don't think you're supposed to eat those by the end. You know, anything to plug. Follow me on Twitch at twitch.tv slash shark barkman. Follow me on the old Twitter.com at JP so fly. And those are two things that you can do with your fucking time. So do those things.

Uh, Addle. Yeah, I want to plug a new Bob. I have on my SoundCloud. It's called Cat Buttquarters. It's a fun little. It's kind of a wrap. It's kind of a... Get it, but everything. Well, don't sing it. Now it's called it. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just saying that one line. I do it on plug two podcasts I recently guest on. One is called This Is Gonna Work.

So please check out my episode on This Is Gonna Work. And the other one is called Another Episode in where I talk to two folks about the movie, The Money Pit from the 80s by Tom Hanks. Aaron, anything to point? It's really fun. Yeah, just follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. I have some projects coming out soonish,

and that's probably where I'll post about them. Phil sent in a sort of last riddle of the show that I'm going to read. If everyone, if that pleases everyone. It pleases the court. One last riddle before the show that I'm going to read. If everyone, if that pleases everyone. It pleases the court. One last riddle before we depart. This one is broken into three parts. The first syllable is pretty simple. A religion with David stars the symbol. Cherry and Peach parts chucked in a bin. It's made bigger when you dig in. For most Harry Potter fans, this bit's assured a noise sometimes used for a hard to find word. Now take a second to string them together.

JPC, Jumil, turf, Jupiter, Fy, Jupiter! Finally, Adel can say bye forever. Created by Adel. Bye forever! Right on time, did you hit her? We blew it! Kill up! Poison! Photo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily DeBoris.

We're in the last two-per-door, hey, Rick O'Brien. Thank you.