Hey Riddle Riddle - #124: Big Grande Part 1! w/ Dan Lippert & Drew Tarver

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

In this part 1 (of 2!) we're joined by one half of Big Grande; Dan Lippert (Man Now Dog) and Drew Tarver (The Other Two)! We talk Escape Rooms and Scavenger Hunts, expertly describe Susan Saradon and then Riddle. Solve. Repeat! There's tigers, tv thieves, post-Harry Dumbledore and even a ruined toilet! Cross your teas and dot your coffee's, it's Hey Riddle Riddle! #WiddleWednesdayDonate to our editor Casey Toney's GoFundMe!Check out Dan and Drew in the podcast Teachers Lounge and in their brand new podcasts featured at www.biggrandewebsite.comStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Do you guys edit all the scenes? I mean, anyone can call scene at the end of... In anyone can call it. We like to give the guests, especially guests who are improvisers and out, so you can get maybe four or five seconds into a scene, and then you could call it if you don't like it. It's not funny. You don't like the voice you chose.

I like the scene to keep going if I don't like it. So I will just, my character will exit, but the scene can be. Yeah. That's how you learn to get better, though. And can we cancel a scene at it? Like, if we wanted to continue on, we'd be chilling out. Everybody gets to the cancel tokens. Very nice. Next up, it looks like we have Aaron Keefe from Boston, Massachusetts. What

are you, what are you, what are you be singing for your audition? I was going to let you decide. Okay. How about you sing? How patriotic are you? Ooh, don't love that question. How about all star by Smashmouth? Oh, sure. Somebody wants to tell me the whole thing. Great, thank you.

Oh my god, that hurt my feelings. Okay, thank you so much. Let's get her out of here. John Patrick Connell from Indianapolis. Sorry, he sent you through out of here. I will. Yes. What will you be singing for your audition? Connell from Indianapolis. Sorry, he said he's right out of here. I will. Yes. What will you be singing for your audition? I am from Indianapolis, Iowa.

I will be singing Boston's more than I feel like. Perfect. Damn it. Whatever you're ready. Okay. I see my Mary and walking away. Don't say enough. Don't say enough.

Hold on, I said no. Okay, thank you so much. And you're both my co-host, congratulations. Oh, we got it. Oh, good, we got it. Your part of any podcast called, Hey, Riddle, Riddle, I'm Adler, if I. I'm JPC.

And I'm Aaron Keefe. Boy, boy, and if you're just listening for the first time, here's what we do. We try and solve riddies and puzzies along the way, we do some improv, and we're running out of riddles. What is this episode 140? It's okay, it can't be.

But Adel, it's gonna be way easier for us to do improv today. A lot of that burden is lifted off of our shoulders. Because we have some guests. We've brought in some ringers. Please welcome from Big Ronde improv, Dan Lippert, and Drew Tarver. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Now Dan, you're old had at this, and last time you were on, we talked about your relationship with Riddle, so it seemed a little unhealthy. Yes. Drew, what is your relationship with Riddles?

As a child, were you into Riddles? Did you have any of your books? What is your relationship with riddles as a child? Were you into riddles? Did you have any of your books? What is your... No, I would say overall, I'm frustrated by them. I have never. I've never, like, they've never, like, donned on me. Like, my brain doesn't work in, like, ways that are, like, double on tundra type of, I'm not clever.

Oh. Oh. So, and I don't know if riddles are involved with this, but I'm the least helpful in an escape room. So you've done an escape room. Did you, I guess first question, did you get out? He's still there. Well, my family did one and we're all similar. And the staff had to to this was years ago

But the staff had to come in every round and be like you have to look under the candle Like they were just frustrated with us But when I'm with like smart people they can be like Drew go over there and and do let latitude and long, and I'll be like, okay, okay. So I'm helpful if I have a boss. Okay, yeah. You can do tasks, but you maybe don't delegate. What's wrong?

And would you be Drew's boss for this episode? Yeah, yeah, I can do that. I think he's already on probation. It's very probationary. He's given me a few talking to you. I have to imagine it would be pretty wild to do an escape room with your full family. I did one with a few friends and then my mom.

So everyone else, I think I'd have done a few rooms, my mom had never done one, and my mom was definitely coming up to me and being like, hey, the chair has four legs. Why don't you put four into that combo, in the lock combo, and I'm like, oh, sweetie, no. Like, mom, you don't understand. The fuck the thing is, I was there doing that room, and Addle never told any of the rest of us

that that was his mom. He just like, he yelled at this lady. We were like, why is he yelling at this older woman? Who's just being so helpful? Um, what was it like to have your whole family there? Was that, was it everyone's, is it kind of like holidays? Because I know when I go home for the holidays, my sister and I who are very close, like start to bicker over like bullshit and like all the emotions from when your teenager come flooding back, was there any of that?

Or was, how was that? Yeah, it was definitely a holiday activity. Like what are we gonna do? We've sat here all day making stuff mushrooms and we're sick of each other. Like, what do we do now? And I think it was pretty, yeah, I mean, like, I just really remember being astounded of like how equally dumb we all are, like in the same exact ways.

There are brains are like almost identical. So there wasn't like another type of brain who was like, I actually am good with, you know, clues, but it was just, it was insanely frustrating, but we weren't mad at each other because we were all so in whatever dumb boat we were in, like we were all just kind of being like, wow, we are not cut out for this. It was maybe bonding. It was maybe bonding in a way. So it's four or five people waiting around to be told what to do. Exactly. Big grand day. Have I done an escape room together?

No. I don't think so. No. I wonder, how do you think it would go? Who would be the most angry and who would be the most helpful, you think? That's a good question. Most angry and most helpful. So you're really asking us to sell somebody up

Easier question. How bad do you think John would be? How much would Ryan fuck the whole thing? Well Drew we there Susie Barrett who is a UCB performer you used to do do this thing every year. That was like super intricate, super fun called the Odyssey. Is that what it was Drew? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she would play in this whole scavenger hunt across LA and all the UCB teams would do it. You'd split into teams. So, and you'd have to drive around and like, I'd solve clues. One of the clues was like, you'd like find a CD somewhere and then you put the CD in and it had 20 tracks of songs

but they were all like, barking like a chicken and you had to figure out what every single song was. And solving that led you to your next clue. And one of them was, you had to go up to the, like the Bat Caves where like, it's like in Griffith Park in Los Angeles where they shot Batman. And it was just, you know, some of it is just like feats of physical feats. And so this one was golfing.

You had to like put into a hole through the caves and Drew runs up and immediately grabs the smallest putter. And they're like, all right, that's the one your whole team has to use. And everyone else on the team is like six, three and above. the smallest putter. And they're like, all right, that's the one your whole team has to use. And everyone else on the team is like 63 and above. And I feel like that is like the essence of the dynamic there. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it's just like I was like, oh, I can maybe be useful here. I played golf for two years in high school. Let like I've been worthless all day. And then I locked us into the tiniest putters. Yeah, I think without Drew Big Ronde is basically the size of like the Houston Rockets. Yes, yes. Yes, I bring down the mean.

But Drew, what you add, Drew, is there was a lot of dangerous driving with other teams and you are a bold driver who does not care. There was a lot of like racing down road. Yeah, it was like, there were, because when you were like neck and neck, you would all get in a car pretty much simultaneously and scream down the road to a bar. So I guess just growing up in the South and being around just writing ATVs and stuff, I care about my life less or something.

So I was good at being like, I will cut this person off like a lunatic for this game that means nothing. What a way to die though. Yes, yeah, they wouldn't name the game after you every year after view. But Dan was, but Dan was pretty much, he was solving a hefty load of what was happening. Well, whatever I bring to a team with solving, I take away with blame. I am constantly like, okay, well, you fucked this one up, so we're behind that.

I just bet you got a little bit too bad about themselves. Yeah, you will know. You will know if you messed up. Is that jokingly or serious or passive aggressive? I think passive aggressively mean. I think a lot of like maybe some of that Michael Jordan and stinkhouse calling everyone hose and stuff. Jordan famously bulls before hose. Well, let's get into, let's get into some riddles and puzzles and see how you

do. I say something before we start, I have to remember this. Please. And what cut this is possibly possibly cutable it also doesn't what is everyone's opinion on Susan Sarandon before I say this? Oh, I cannot wait to hear what you're about to say I Have almost no opinion on Susan Sarandon opinion. I think she's been riding Chris Randans co-tales ever since Princess bride wow I Princess spread. Wow. Hahaha. I, I think she is great hair, but I think she was miscast in the movie enchanted and those are my only two opinions about her. Okay. I think in sincerity, I always confuse her

with Sigourney Weaver for whatever reason. I always conflate those two. Or I'm like, Susan's Brandon, I loved Alien, and then I'm like, oh, Adel, you idiot. So I feel like, I feel like- I'm also, yeah, I could be Talking trash about somebody else because I'm not 100% sure She is I vaguely I vaguely respect her, but I can't remember anything she's been in I think the the most notable thing that Susan She's done has done in the last five years is voice that she did not vote for Hillary

I believe and then everyone on Twitter devoured She has been she has She's been the left punching bag since for the last four years, for sure. Are you about to tell us that you're dating her and then we're all going to be like, you know, that my mom, y'all just did our podcast and my mom just watched the video and I was face timing with her

and she insisted that I tell you Aaron that she thinks you look like Susan Sarandon. And I was like, okay. And I just said she had great hair. So I sent myself up for the best compliment. That's amazing. Please tell your mother. You have to tell her. I was like, okay, she told me on Friday and I haven't told you since then and so she

reminded me to tell you today. That sounds like an emergency. I wish you had told me sooner. Thank God I didn't voice, she has a face like slinner man or something. Yeah, that's why I asked first because I wanted to make sure that I weren't on a super negative scene. That would have changed my entire weekend if you had told me sooner. Well, you asked a group of people, what's your thoughts on this celebrity?

Everybody goes in with the looks first. They're like, okay, total, oh girl. Yeah, I should have said looks. I should have said looks I'm gonna take my sweater off. I'm sorry. No, no worries. And Aaron, who did your hair vote for in 2016 just so we know? Not Hillary. I'll tell you that much. I'm with hair New bumper sticker remember those remember what was that essence. Remember when commercials could get away with that. Those horny ones. Yeah. People coming in the shower. Oh come on. Bring those back.

Yeah, come on. Bring the curls junior. Don't be a coward. Bring them back. I want the curls junior herbal essence Cabo where someone's eating a big cheeseburger. The shower just coming. There's mustard. There's mustard dripping on their jizz while they come. Ew. It's been fucking JPC. I've been saying, join my only fans.

That's all it is. All right. Also, the best part about those herbal lessons, commercials was like after they would have an orgasm, there was always like a thing at the end of the commercial. The summer would be like, did that really happen? And they'd like wink at them and be like, yes, it did. That was sex.

I was experiencing it with the shower. So let's get into some warm up riddies and puzzies. Aaron and JPC, what we'll do is maybe ask you to, if you know the answer to pull the reins, just so we give Drew and Dana a chance. And we might take note that some riddles are jokes and most riddles, if not all riddles, are very bad. So here's our very first one. And we certainly don't want to give the impression that Aaron and I are jokes and most riddles, if not all riddles, are very bad. So here's our very first one.

And we certainly don't want to give the impression that Aaron and I are going to be any better at this after doing this podcast for a hundred and something episodes. We will not be, we're probably actually worse. I hate riddles. We care so much less. So these are quick and light, easy and breezy.

What do tigers have that no other animals have? What do tigers have that no other animals have? And if it helps, you can talk yourself through it. Drew just looked like he was finding out he was having to get a root canal. Oh man, I'm going to have to take a couple days. Well of course, we're, you know, the first thing we're thinking is stripes. But within them, we're thinking Zebra's Zebra's come slamming in, right? So it's not that. Slamming them.

That's my favorite Led Zeppelin song. Zebra's gonna slam it in. I don't know why. I don't know why this is the first thing that my mind jumped to, but I, because it's not the answer, but I think it think we were just talking about commercials. I thought white claw, and then I was like, yeah, white claw would be the perfect, tigers would be the perfect sponsor for white claw.

But then I was like, I think also tigers already have a sponsorship deal for, frosted flakes. Frosted flakes, yeah. And you think tigers have a sponsorship deal. So, Tony the tiger is doing that for the entire race. Obviously, it's a union gig for Tony the Tiger. No, I didn't.

He doesn't like to speak for all Tigers. But they all are wrapped by CA. So yeah, it's not stripes is a great guess initially, obviously, but it's not that. It's not that. This is whole unique to Tigers. Tigers and Tigers alone have these. Have these have multiple? It depends.

Some Tigers have multiple, some, some Tigers have multiple, some, maybe have one, some have have, have none. one, some have none. I'll take her seven. Can I guess, Adel, or is it not my turn yet? Well, let Drew and Dan, is there any further discussion? Aaron, I am not gonna get it. So I'm 100% certain unless it's like, go ahead now. No, no, Drew, I had nothing.

Is it like clever or is this like, like a, like a, like a, they have a second dick, like. You know, I need, I need to be like, I got a lot clever. I gotta see a scene. Drew, Drew, you're a, you're a tiger, Dan and Aaron, you are also tigers. You're all about the same age and you've been friends for a while.

And today's the day Drew, that you sort of in confidence tell your friends that you actually have two dicks. Okay. That was a fun gym class, guys. Really? That was good. I didn't think we were going to catch that antelope. Yeah, but we did.

We got him and we ate his ass. But you guys, and I'm gonna give you guys most of the credit because when we tried to surround him, I was tired. Yeah. You really, yeah, you faded back there and, you know, but we're not gonna not split up the meat. Yeah. I got to eat most of the ass, so I'm happy.

Does anyone have any deodorant? Yeah, which one do I use? I'm trying to think which deodorant I use. Take a couple minutes. We're not doing aluminum anymore, so we got some natural deodorant. Tov, is there something to that, Tov? You can google deodorants if you need some time. No, that's okay. We think of a fun. Um, how about... Anyways.

Yeah, I guys, before we head into the locker room, um, how are you guys? What's up, man? Listen, I've been hiding this for a while. I kind of been tucking it away and I got I got two dicks Well say that again. I heard you I heard you had two dicks, but that can't be yeah Yeah, I have two dicks. You heard it exactly right. Yeah It's I had been wondering why right around when you hit puberty, you started wearing pants which I've never seen before.

Yeah, I mean that was a dead giveaway and you know, I blamed it on being kind of a cowboy. Oh, you have this whole cowboy persona. Is that just a lot of cover up here too? Yeah, it's this whole thing. I don't need the gun. I don't smoke. I mean, I do now after smoking for so long,

but yeah, it was just to hide up my two dicks. What? Tell us, man, where are your best friends? Yeah. If anything, I'm just curious. I mean, let me know when I get to personal, but as one for P and ones for come in, what's the story? No, they both P and they both come.

That's amazing. And if one P's, the other one's like, what about what about me you know they're jealous of each other yes yes they they hate each other they're like twins like like to then they dress this I are they identical or fraternal? they're fraternal one of them circumsides the other one isn't. different fraternal and different belief systems are. yes yes one's Christian and one's Catholic it's so close. I know we're all virgin tigers, but like what happens when you have sex? I would assume, well one of them is gonna be like, I, both of them are gonna gonna like not have quite as much guilt because their church isn't quite as like um strict Yeah, but another one will have a lot of guilt. Yeah, I mean one's

What's the reason or what's Catholic is that's what that's what's happened. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So one like That's what that's what's happening. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So one like, one believes Mary was like a god in a way, and the other one's like, nope, Jesus only. I'm learning a lot. Seeing. Drew, I'd be remiss if I didn't do this. Can we just see maybe a 10 second clip

of a White Caucus commercial with Cowboy Tiger as the spokesperson? Absolutely. Thank you. Hey. Now listen guys, I know that you love beer, but it's making your fat. Well, if you still want to sip out of that aluminum can,

but you don't want to get fat You need to try white claw I'm assuming that's why people drink white claw is they'd like the can right? I think I think it's a whole personality thing Yes, like most things it's mainly peer pressure, I believe. Like someone's like, white claw. You want a white claw? It's like, uh, yeah, I guess so.

And, Andrew, I just looked it up. This is wild. Neal Simon's original version of Odd Couple was two tiger penises. Really? That makes sense. As roommates, yeah. And it was foul, foul, and, uh, foreskin. Or the man.

Couldn't do one with Oscar, sadly. And it was foul, foul-less and forced-scooting. Or the man. Couldn't do one with Oscar, sadly. To me get the answer to this riddle yet. No, Aaron says she'd have no. Aaron, do you know it? My guess is tiger babies, like what do tigers have? But I think that has a limited imagination. If that's the answer, I might add the episodes over for the next one.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. All right, think of a new answer, think of a new answer. No, Erin, you are wrong. The answer, no, the tiger paws. Erin, you're dead on the answer is baby tigers. And that's just a quick glimpse into how bad riddles can be. Mm-hmm. I knew that because I'm trying to have a baby tiger and I did meet a baby tiger

earlier this year and it was one of the best moments of my life. Their paws are so big. We've been in lockdown all year. I went on a cruise as a joke in January and I went to the super unethical terrible tiger places in Mexico and I got to meet one. Wow. Cruises and unethical tiger places in the year of COVID and people caring about tigers. Yeah, I really lived at the beginning of this year. And that's your solo show coming out right? Cruises and tigers. And that's your show show show coming out right cruises and tigers Let's do we'll do one more one more warm up and then we'll get into the sort of longer riddles The next warm up is walking on the living they don't even mumble walk on the dead they mutter and grumble what are they?

Walk on the living they don't even mumble walk on dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they? So this is something that walks on the living and walks on the dead. So we can walk, damn it. Sorry, so it's not the thing that's walking, it's what's being walked upon. So walk on the living, they don't even mumble. They being what's being walked on.

The living? Mm-hmm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, we're not looking for a thing that's walking on them. We're looking for what, what this thing is that's living in dead. Correct, yeah. Got it.

So walk on the living, they don't even mumble, walk on the dead, they mutter and grumble. What are they? Like, I see. So it's something that is dead that mutters and grumbles. That's basically what we have to solve for. Dan, you look like you've just gone like eight rounds with Tyson, like.

And he needs the chicken. Dan, Dan, if you'll fucking answer this aisle drive Walk out the living they don't even mumble walk on the dead they mumble in grumble or they Pretty good memory they mutter in grumble their mutter grumble. What are they? They're not. They mutter and grumble. It's Dr. Seuss. Pretty good memory. They mutter and grumble. They mutter and grumble. What are they? So this is something when you walk on them

when they're alive, they don't make a sound. When you walk on them and they're dead, they do make a sound. If that helps that recontextualization. Oh, what? Leaves. Drew Bingo-Bingo-Hotetot. Dead iron, the answer is leaves.

Wow. Nice job. answer is leaves. Wow. Nice job. Very nice job. Wow. I like to see a scene. JPC and Drew, you are two burglars. You're trying to rob a cabin, but there is lots of dead leaves surrounding the cabin, so you're having some trouble being quiet.

All right, all right, listen, I got an idea. Okay. As I brought a leaf blower, let's get these out of here. And let's go in there and let's get the fucking TVs. Okay, I love where you're going. I love where you're coming from. And I love where we're going. Where no, we're going into that cabin,

we're gonna get all the TVs in that cabin. This thing is packed with two. So we hope so. If the intel that we got in the joint was good, that this cabin is packed with two TVs. Heavy ones. Yeah. The big old ones. Yo, yeah.

We're gonna make a big wall for like a 90s music video. Mm-hmm. And it's gonna be really hard to stack these things because they are heavy as shit. They got thick glass and a lot of the electronic components in them. Yes, and we're not gonna strap them to the wall because we live dangerously. So they might fall on us and kill us.

Hey, they might, but you know, that's the risk that we take. We're criminals, we have a plan. but before you fire up that leaf blower Think about it stupid It's gonna make a lot of noise If there's not another leaf blower to cancel it out come from an opposite direction You're so right. Yes. it's louder than the first problem. Exactly, exactly. So we have to think of something even louder

to cancel it out. So what I will do, we, we, this is obviously by our accents, the South. I have an TV here. I'm gonna crank up this ATV, really get that engine revving. So when you turn on the leaf blower, it's a little bit silenced.

Interesting. Okay. Mm-hmm. But I've got a quick question, and listen, I wanna get to the tubes as fast as you do, and I wanna stack them up. Oh, baby. I wanna get to those tubes,

I wanna buy a very basic cable package, like the only ones that they sell. Yes, and the fire up. Fire up. Oh, no, no, no, I'm not paying for showtime. No, but we still, we want to pay $90 a month, whether we have extras or not, for the basics. All right, I've got a question.

What's gonna cover up the sound of the ATV? Because they're gonna, you crank it up, they're gonna look outside, they're gonna see you Revin me blowing mm-hmm we got a problem Okay, yes, we do we have a problem. Yes. Do you have a solution? Oh, I do okay. I go up to the door I Say excuse me we cut to that scene Dan answers the door Knock knock knock. Oh, I sorry if you've been knocking for a while I couldn't hear you I've been watching a lot of TV.

No damage. Yeah I've been out here for like 15 minutes. Oh yeah I watched a ton of TV I felt fast asleep but usually nothing wakes me up, but uh... Okay, good, so you're watching TV? Are you watching maybe multiple shows in multiple rooms? No, same show, six TVs one room. Oh, yeah, I mean, nothing. Would you mind if my friend gave you a TV a quick rev. I am sorry, I can barely hear you through the ski mask. Would you mind just pulling out the bump lips? What my friend said was, would you mind

if I come in your house and give you TV a quick rev? Sorry, can you turn off the leaf blower? And I can I hear you? Okay, okay, okay. Turning off the ATV, turning off the leaf blow, and not walking on the leaves. Would you mind if my friend and I came in and just watch TV with you, please?

Please, please, that's all we want. Um, I had it, could I ask you fellas, I've in the middle of nowhere in this cabin. I kind of come here to watch my TVs alone, what? I'm a hermit. I mean, cup here to watch my TV's alone. I'm a hermit. I mean, look at me. Big beard, long hair.

Mean to people. I'm a hermit, you know. I don't like being around people. How did you find me? We got a tip from my buddy in the joint. Yeah, your name is all over everybody's mouth. Because you got your cabin, all the nice TVs you got in their thick tube TVs. So you say that I'm big with prisoners. Well, the way I live my life is I

am a big target for prisoners. You're huge. I'm getting robbed every damn day to be honest with you They're robbing you cuz they like what you got it's hard to adjust outside But you got this chastle this cabinet the middle of nowhere solitary with tube TVs And hold on one of those TVs looks a little bit like my grandmother's old TV that was stolen from her. Hey wait a second, one of these TVs looks a lot like my uncle Nicky's TV that was stolen from him. Oh so when you say it is I go around and steal TVs from criminals, parents and extended families and watch them in my cabin up here. That's what we're saying. I have never been so insulted in my life.

Sir, it's obvious you're a tube TV thief. All right. What do you do when you got T.V. T.V. T.V. When you got when you got crunchy leaves out in front of the house. What's the answer? You never rob a house in autumn. I Only robbed dirt when because if you tread upon leaves whilst they're alive They don't mumble nor grumble nor matter. That's insane.

That's beautiful. That's the equivalent of hearing somebody in Star Wars say the word Star Wars. Fantastic. Well, we're going to take a break here in a second. Just a quick check in, quick temperature grab. Dan and Drew, how are we feeling about riddles? They make me feel so stupid. I don't like how stupid I feel. Yeah, like even though I got that last one, you really walked me there. It was basically the equivalent of that really frustrated person coming in and telling my family,

like, hey, you gotta open up the window. Well, those were just the warm-up we're gonna get into our harder and more verbose riddles. Right after these messages from what I presume are non-tygurs, we'll be right back. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

I'm not mad at you, we're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms.

Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I wanna prank JPC, and I wanna set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch,

you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, a prank thing new. He's gonna do you and I'm gonna use analytics use insights to grow my business and learn

Where my site visits and sales are coming from that's pretty cool I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords our popular products and content on my prank website The prank that you love me whoa, that's awesome Aaron. I'm glad using Squarespace Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, what's the website for? Prank. Squarespace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine,

head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeline JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an

impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, uh, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this?

You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month.

That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.I. I am home. Who are we? I'm clink clink clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well.

Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Kling, kling, kling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also

get alerted if anything looks off over three million, well, clink, clink, clink, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink, stop. No, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today, and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rockatmoney.com slash riddle. That's rockatmoney.com slash riddle.

Rockatmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rockat money, the website. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. It will be rocket money. It will be rocket money. It will be rocket money. It will be rocket money. It will be rocket money.

And we're back and let's get into some sort of entree. So we had our appetizer riddles. We'll get into the full course main entree, the stars of the show. Here we go. I just got to put these bumpers back from Dan and Drew's lanes. They came to us. Oh, it's a bumper. They can use the bumper to do more. I'm gonna take the T away, so you can just have to hit the ball and we're gonna actually have,

the kids are gonna start pitching now. So it's no more dads, you two are dad pitches, hard pitches. You two probably felt like a fucking big man, huh? Not gonna have the park with the T's. We had eight T's. I did the equivalent of fucking gutterballing on the, the with the bumpers on those I'm over two right now Which by the way you are also JPC just so everybody's game was keeping track of yeah, that is what I'm upset true

I think bumpers in bowling give kids a skewed vision of what life is Let them be happy for just a little while No, it's not all strikes. It's not all strikes and spares, kiddos. Here we go. This one's called Getting Away with Murder. A security guard in a hotel sees a man go into a room in which there is no one else present, and which may only be accessed through a single doorway.

Several minutes later, he sees a woman enter the room and immediately scream. Lying dead in a pool of blood in the room is the man murdered. But how did the killer get into and out of the room without being seen by the guard who had remained on the same spot and watchful throughout? Wait, did the lady just go in and kill the guy? Or did the lady came in and found the body? Lady came in and found the body. So security guard in a hotel sees a man go into a room in which there is no one else present.

So the man walks into the room, there's no one else present, we know that for effect. And that room can only be accessed through a single doorway. Several minutes later, the security guard sees a woman enter that same room and immediately scream, laying dead in a pool of blood in the room is the man murdered. How did the killer get into and out of the room without being seen by the guard who had remained on the same spot and watchful throughout. It is my my gut is saying that the guard killed him.

Okay. That is incorrect. But what can you can you talk me through your three. That is incorrect, but can you talk me through your theory? So did it ever say that the guard was outside the room, or is the guard stationed inside the room, pops the guy, and then the lady comes in and is like, ah, and he's like, oh yeah, I guess dead. That's a good guess. It's wrong in this case,

but that's the right answer to something. You know when cats know they're gonna die, and they hide somewhere in your house, because they're just like, I didn't too embarrassed to die in front of you Maybe he got like killed on the street Went in and was like I'm too embarrassed to die in front of someone. That's also a great great guest But is incorrect in this instance. Oh man Is there any significance to it being a woman that opened the door?

It is not although we have to assume the woman is a doctor. Yes, yeah, I assume the same. In, yeah, all right. I'm just, Oh, and by the way, the security guard is, Also a woman. Also a woman. Also the room?

A woman. Now, you made special note here to say that it was a single door. Is this like a single door, double door situation? Was it Dumbledore that did? Yes, magic. I'm not going to go to JPC and see what's magic. Magic. I think Dumbledore is responsible for more deaths in Harry Potter than any other character.

Oh, he fucked up so bad. True, no, you're responsible, adult. I want to see it. You're putting more deaths on Dumbledore than Voldemort, the one who was killing the people 100% because Dumbledore's like take the kids to the fucking spider forest and shit. And he has a wamping willow on grounds that thing over the years is surely just bash kids skills. That's true. I want to see a scene. Dan,

you're going to be Dumbledore. Japs Aaron and Drew, you're going to be wizard children at Hogwarts. And Dan, you're gonna be Dumbledore. James, Aaron, and Drew, you're gonna be Wizard Children at Hogwarts, and Dan, you're sort of in your, you're like a month away from retirement, and so Dumbledore is completely checked out, and it's just kind of being as dangerous as possible. All right, file in, file in, file in, children. It's the middle of the night. I'll get into the clock, wake up, magic can happen,

whatever, anytime you want. Top of the door, what is it? Well first question, who set my clocks wrong? Because my clocks, who used the magic spell to make me think it was a different time because I did not know it was the middle of the night. It looks like your clocks aren't moving, sir. Did you forget to wind them? Okay, okay. Who you forget to wind them? Okay, okay Who's the funny guy here?

Me my name's Josh. Oh Josh. I don't really. Hey Josh. Are you Harry Potter? You bring that up a lot we hung out a ton Dumbledore you smell like you ever hear that you ever hear that I say that yeah, yeah, you smell like gin Okay, smell O. Bagono now what do I know I don't oh my gosh Dumbledore now I can see your butt Dumbledore we can all see your butt. Oh, I did this spell to make the smell for my butt go away But I also took my pants Took you pants away, Dumbled

Can also sir can we come in front of you? Why are we behind you? Oh? Okay, we'll turn this around us turn this around us You turn to us around That we're standing butt to butt and I feel like it's weird. No, your naked butt is behind us. Don't tell anybody your parents about this crap. That's where you can't say that to us.

Okay, I'm not a creep. Dumbledore is not a creep. Dumbledore, when I could see your face before you turned us around it looked like you had been crying You could tell, huh? It was all red and puffy sir What's going on at home? Nothing that's the problem Spend every day of my life with kids. I thought this would be fulfilling enough

I don't need a wife. I don't need a wife, I don't need children. You're my own children, but you know what happens? You leave. I heard you screaming last night in the middle of the night. Wifeeus come backiest. Yeah, I'm trying to do spell. By the way, if you see a a zombie fight version of my life looking around the spell has not been perfected yet Why if he has come back. Yes, also sounds a little dirty, Dumbledore. Oh Okay, what's it? What's the joke that I want my wife to have my come on her back? I didn't say it Dumbledore You did see I was the perp

I didn't say a dumbledore you did say who's the per I Am the pervert fantastic. I love it. I love up top. It was almost like Joe Pescius Dumbledore like who's the funny guy? Fantastic So a security guard in a hotel sees a man go into a room. There's nobody else present in the room It can only be accessed through the single doorway. Woman enters later, screams. There's the same man who entered the room lying dead on the floor. What happened? And we know he was murdered, right? It's not a suicide. It is confirmed he was murdered. He was murdered in the room. But there was there is 100% nobody in the room before he went in there. And there is 100% nobody else in the room besides the woman After his body was on. I would like to see a scene

Dan and Ally you are detectives Who are trying to figure out what happened at the so-tell and then Drew you will be the security guard who's just the worst witness of all time and has no idea What happened? Hey, buddy, I'm telling you right now, you might want to start talking because my partner's going to come in here. And you don't want to get a mad, okay? You don't want to upset him, you don't want to lie to him. You don't want to be quiet around him, right?

He's going to get the information out of you. So again, I can't stress enough. Talk to me now or five. I went to the vending machine. I had to get a snack. I was hungry as hell. I was going to pass out. And I had to go a snack. I was hungry as hell. I was gonna pass out and I had to go grab some snacks So I think I missed most of the action

What if you want to the very machine what kind of snack did you get huh? Yeah, well I got Snickers I got two Snickers Oh, oh You had your chance get a Danny. Get him Danny. Danny take him. Hey All right, that goes from from face down to spanking up becomes more humiliating the more you lie So out with it. What did you get from the vending machine? We know there was no sneakers in there. Okay, so what was it? All right All right

All right, I got Peanut brittle. I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed Now he's talking and you better keep the truth flowing because you don't want to see my other partner come in here pissed off There's three at least my friend Danny. Sorry. Give me time to cook change Yeah, okay, should I do should I do beard and hat or should I do the should I do the suit of armor? No, I will never say suit of armor that will never be a lot of hair I'm gonna go to the bathroom No, you were the nice one

Bearing and happy to not be your wizard outfit I'm telling you, man. I know my story changed, but it's just because I'm embarrassed that I like peanut brittle and I'm not a snickers guy. Well, okay. We'll have to have you re-sign your statement. And why don't you tell that to the wife of the bed, okay? Because...

Betrayed and dead? Yes. Because she is at home and dead? Yes. Because she is at home and she is very sad and we're trying to find the killer for her and for his killed children. Who were also killed? No, I've heard enough. I've heard enough. We've been too con to this man. Slap. Slap across the face.

Now, I may have a hat in a beard but I am a police officer and I demand the truth and satisfaction. Hold on, are you sure you're not the same guy? That's... I can see the piece of elastic running from your jaw up to your hair. That is a birthmark. Now I have checked all records and not since 1967 has they been peanut brittle in venom machines So someone here still telling lies Oh my gosh, and you better hurry up and snippety snap giving the truth before my fourth partner comes in here All right, I ordered coffee sticks, you know coffee dunkkers. I like them as a snack. That's weird, it's weird. Are you talking about...

Are you talking about dunkel rules or those little Japanese candies with a panda on them? Neither. It's a little doughy dunker. I tried, I tried. Tiny, you didn't hear tiny? No, there's four. That's right, and this one isn't ironic. I'm really tiny shoes on your knees Check the children It's probably the children I

Had you checked the children? It's probably the children. I- oh, okay, because they have killed in their name, they killed them. I have seen enough. Stand up, slap, slap. How old are you? What is it? What is it? I swear, I'm just like embarrassing snacks.

I didn't do it. Okay, well after that, you said you went back into the room and watched something on the TV. What were you watching at 11 o'clock at night and we have TV guide book, so we can check. Don't take the TV guide book. It was the comic show. Were they called?

Comics at least with pirate Alan See See Fantastic I'm crying at shoes on your knees I also love to stand up, slap, back down Isn't Byron Alan a mill, is it a billionaire?

Oh yeah he is He bought the leather channel right? That's wild. And he was just, he was just like a comedy store guy who became like a conglomerate. I think he, I might be wrong about this, but I think he like used syndication to his advantage. Like he understood how syndication worked

and how to basically like did it like real estate, but just like, just syndication. I believe I might be totally wrong. So made his money with like his business acumen versus like his comedic chops? And maybe yeah, but he also is maybe a great host. I mean, he's really good at setting someone up

for their exact stand-up. Yeah, he like rattles off like 50 setups per night. That's absolutely fucking wild. And what they say with the weather channel is you have to buy when it's low. So if it's like winter, like the 10s 20s, that's what you're gonna buy the final low sell now. Buy a low on.

During a polar vortex is the best time to buy the weather. If you're looking to buy the weather channel this summer, I got a fucking bridge to sell you out. Oh. Well, he's to sell you pal. Oh. Oh. Oh. Well, he's not sellering out, Alan. So let's, let's, I'm so sorry. Let's take a look at the answer here.

Any final guesses on this one? I forgot that we were doing this riddle. Is there something to do with the fact that it's a hotel? 100%. And it's, so it's a hotel not a motel. So use that to your, to you. A pool. Oh No, no, no, no. Didn't you say it was a pool of some blood? So he got in the hot tub. The jet sucked him in the back Blood came out everywhere. Yeah, but he's just can I just say the jet sucked him in the back is a

I just thought I was gonna get a gun came out everywhere. Yeah, but he's just, can I just say the jet sucked him in the back is a side plot that was cut out of West Side Story. He's like, look, look, look be someone. Is it the hotel from John Wick where it's all assassins and someone broke the rules of the hotel and killed the person? That's my dream hotel to stay at. Dan, if it was the hotel from John Wick, I would have said that a old-fashioned

and ten-night stay cost the same one coin. That's the best bar in all of New York City because it's totally inaccessible for most people. Like all the drinks. Do you have a gold assassin coin? Goodbye. Is it the Hodeau, California? Oh, that's a great guess.

The man checked out but could never leave. Yeah, pool, a ghost, these are all great answers. I also would have been impressed if someone said, oh, there was a window, but nobody guessed that. So the answer to this is the room that the man went into that was empty, and then he was murdered, and then it was empty again. The room was an elevator.

Elevators are rooms. Are they? All right, I'm logging off. No, no, come back. So the elevator like dropped? Or something? I think a man came on stabbed him, got off on another floor. So the guy went into the elevator... See that's...

That's evidence of what's happening in my brain and how bad it is. The guy went into the elevator. He dropped down and crashed. I guess we know we're not related now, because if we were, I would have. It's very true. You know, I went into the elevator, went up to the third floor. Another person came on, stabbed him to death,

got off the elevator, and then the elevator went back down with the dead button. Uh-huh, uh-huh, damn. I would like to see you. I'd say, before, to all your listeners, tweet out before this episode, our elevator's rooms. I wanna see what the photo is on there.

Dan, no. And then we'll block you if you say it is a room. Yeah. Wait a second, I thought this was a Ford bedroom. One of these is a fucking elevator, no way. Fuck off. Ford bedroom, three bath, my ass. I need that.

This is a three and three to be a bedroom. I wanna see a scene. Drew, you just got on an elevator at a hotel. Aaron, you got onto the elevator at the 10th floor and your plan is to kill Drew before he gets to his room at the top floor, but you keep checking out. Cut. Okay, one, two, three.

No. What? I'm sorry. Are you okay? Good luck. Good evening, all right? Yeah. I did sneeze.

Oh, I must have sneeze. One, two, go. No. Are you holding a gun? Yeah. You're going one, two, three. Yeah. Is it kind of...

How do you like this building, huh? Do you like living? I don't live here at the hotel. Oh, okay. I'm staying for two nights. I'm in town for business. Are you gonna hurt yourself? Three, two, alley. Hey, give come for business. Are you gonna hurt yourself? Is it okay?

Three, two, alley, whoop, hop. Hey, give me the gun, give me the gun, give me the gun. No, I need it. This room is going up. This room will be opening on the 11th floor. Okay, I just have a quick question. Would you be mad at me if I killed you? Yes, yes, but what a, no, yes.

I mean, I'd be dead. I wouldn't get a chance to get mad, but what do you, who mean I'd be dead. I wouldn't get a chance to get bad, but what do you? Who sent you? Who sent you? I it's gonna hurt your feelings when you find out I know who it is you do. Okay, so you know your mom. Oh, oh Your home is mad at you. I think Your mom. Yeah, this is my first time getting

I think. You're mom? Yeah, this is my first time. Can you tell me not? I knew she liked Brian better than me. So she's siding with him. She's sending you to kill me. Yeah. Oh, this room is opening on the 13th floor.

And we see JPC is a contract to kill her by either the mom or the brother. Also step on. Hi. Hi. Nick, you and I wouldn't get on to. Oh no you two. No sir. I'm sorry. Sir you're holding a old timey muskid. It's not gonna wait. They sent you to. They didn't think I could do it. They didn't think I could do it. Oh you're you're who sent you on three one two three my mom and my brother your mom

I think we basically saw the plot to midwestern John Wick. I'm so sorry. I can't I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you mad? Are you mad at me? How embarrassing is it to murder someone? It's humiliating. People think you're so passionate about something. They're like, oh my god, you care this much that you're killing someone. Sorry. That's why we rarely see Matthew Broderick on red carpets. That's true.

Wow. He's embarrassed. All right, he's a family bread. I guess also his wife is taller than him, so that's, he made me feel weird about that. Let's do another one here. So this is one where let's make these more infuriating. This is one where it's just kind of a sentence, and based on this one sentence, you have to sort of retroactively piece together what happened.

Cool. So it's not even a question, it's just a sentence. This one is called cursed holiday, and I thought this might be apt because of the season that we're currently in. Here's a sentence. A man returned from the toilet to find that his holiday was ruined. So based on one sentence, we have to figure out what is going on. A man returned from the toilet to find that his holiday was ruined. All these boys are giggling at the word toilet. Everyone's giggling because that'll send toilets. Well, our toilet plus ruined. He ruined.

He got, he sat down to poop and he didn't realize that his pee while his pooping was coming out the That you like his penis was kind of pointed up. So he peed all over the back of his pants. Are you having a good day? Dan, I think I think you just added yourself. You're projecting Wow guy. He on the back of his pants. Okay. I guess so. Yeah, everyone has had a Dan has this happened to you. Of course. My sorry, my internet connection is unstable as I'm saying. I don't know. I think I broke my mind. Mine. Mine said that at the exact same moment too. That's fun. Whoa.

A man returned from a man returned from the toilet to find that his holiday was ruined. What's going on? A man returned from the toilet to find that his holiday was ruined. What's going on? Is it, is it on a Santa Claus? It took a really long poop and he didn't go deliver gifts. That is, that is a great guess. It's his holiday, right? I gotta say a scene. JPC, you are Santa Claus in the toilet. You've been in there for a few hours.

Dan and Drew, you are two people at his workshop, very concerned knocking on the door. Santa. Santa. Oh, ho, ho, occupied, occupied. We told you about the oatmeal cookies. You did this last year, Santa. I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist.

Oatmeal raisin. How was everybody just walking past the full plate of oatmeal raisin cookies all day? You're about to eat cookies for the next 24 hours. Every kid puts them out for you. You couldn't wait one day Santa. All right, everybody make fun of Santa because he's a fucking human being who saw a plate full of cookies and had a couple. Santa, you're sick. You're sick. Thanks. I know that now, dude. Look, that's not helping. That's a two fucking hours ago problem. Santa, we are worried about you.

We're worried about your stress eating. We're worried about how it's affecting the job. Yeah, I know. I'm a mess. I'm a wreck. I mean, we've already amended 50 kids to be naughty so that you can drop off more cold because we know it's better. Cold's quicker, Yeah, just drop it right now. Look look. What do we just do what we did last year?

I'll stay in here for the rest of the night you guys wear the suit and you go out and you do the presents for me Please, Santa, I'm good for it. Get on each other's backs and do Do Christmas again your thin things do side by side do side by side, do side by side. We cut to Christmas. Santa is, is that you? Wait, you were only here a second. Did you bring me cold? Why are you walking so funny?

Sorry, sorry honey. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why is your crotch talking Santa? I mean, sorry for my mouth honey. Hello, would you, what movie would you like to see? Debbie does Dallas. Okay, can I just see some ID?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you binning so much at the chest? Here's an ID, it's a cook camp. I gotta call, I gotta call what I'm here, shitting my braids out from the local Porto theater. That my credit card's been rejected. Now would you two elves happen to know anything about that? Listen, have you seen porn Santa?

Of course I have. Of course I have. We've lost it Santa, we're sick like you on cookies, but with porn. Santa, we never do all we've done is work in this workshop for our whole lives and then we left and found out about porn and we're sick in the head about it. Alright, so for this next scene, we'll have you at the front of the bed and then you're also also an elf but it looks like you're just wearing shoes on your knees. No no I'm gonna a short guy.

Okay. I'm sure guy like this guy. Yeah we're just short guys. Great so this is gonna be for our fetish season release. It'll just be YouTube masturbating and then if you feel like mornings to happen there's some props around the room. No, that's enough. Well, it's not about you. It's about what we want the viewers there, I guess. But whatever your comfort was, whatever you're comfortable with and action. There's stuff around the room. Yeah, use what, use the space.

There's a few outfits laid out if there's any Role play cosplay you want to have happen there's some toys if you want to play some with some toys. So don't just crank it till we're done See Sorry, we're sorry. Drew's elf clearly faking in order. Let me do, yeah. I also, I also did the thing. Yeah, same. Clearly an elf with two digs hiding it. So, at the sentence again, a man returned from the toilet to find that his holiday was ruined.

What do we think? What do we think happened? Okay, so the holiday in question is New Year's Eve and this guy was shitin' when the ball dropped. Oh, that's good. That's my worst fear. I love midnight on New Year's Eve. And I hate to miss it. Is the one time of year you and your boyfriend kiss, right?

Yeah. And it's just one little pack. I think I've maybe even talked about it on the podcast before, but we watched this movie on Netflix called Holiday, and it was truly one of the worst romantic comedies that I've ever seen. It was infuriatingly bad, but at one point, they're at a New Year's Eve party, and the guys like, hold on, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

After they've been like hanging out all night, and that's when the countdown starts, and I was like, that wasn't even a plot device. That guy just honestly had to go to the bathroom at midnight. He didn't like check his watch to make sure, like I can hold it for one minute. It's midnight, it's the whole point of the party. You gotta watch the romcom New Year's Eve.

It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. I have witnessed that travesty as well too. It's truly sick. Von Joby plays a singer named Jensen. And he's like, oh my god. So you're calling him John Von Jensen. Yeah, and he falls in love with Katherine Heigel and they kind of hate each other.

And that's just one love story among like 40. I can't recommend it enough. It's a huge way to say that. Are those like Penny Marshall or someone? Yeah. Yeah, it's like. Mr. Brother is a. Gary Marshall.

Gary Marshall. The guy who did like, pretty woman. I think it's like. Mr. Brother is a. Gary Marshall. Gary Marshall. The guy who did like pretty woman. I think it's. Anyways, you should watch it. And I'll go ahead and give the answer, because this is one I don't think anybody would. You can't really suss this out. So I'm just.

Easter Thanksgiving. Do we have to guess the holiday? Do we have to guess the holiday? Is it holiday specific? I gotta be honest, it doesn't even say what the holiday is. And I think possibly I think possibly, this is like the British sense of holiday, like the British term of holiday,

or it's just vacation. Oh, then I hate this one. So here's what it is. The man's wife stopped at a rest stop to get gasoline and snacks. Well, it didn't say petrol, so it's not British. She assumed her husband was still asleep in the camper and drove away.

However, the man had woken up while his wife was in the gas station and exited the camper to use the restroom. When he returned, he realized that his wife had left without him. She did it on purpose. Yeah, this riddle, absolutely. Fucking socks, this real fucking gloves. Don't campers have restrooms in them? Like is it like an RV?

Don't RVs have that? Some don't. Yeah, but you don't really want to use it. That's true. You guys really guessed it. You used it before and that's why she left in there. We're gonna see one final scene. The four of you are on holiday.

Aaron, you are the matriarch of the family and you have just left the father and your husband behind on purpose. And we're moving ahead with the implication. Okay, we're having fun now. What music does everyone want to hear? More than a feeling by Boston. All right. But we don't have it on Spotify.

Anyone else feeling extra alive right now? Hey are we sure Dad got back in? Yeah, he's probably somewhere in the car just being very quiet. Whoa, wow. I checked in on that. I checked the bed, but it was just pillows and the top of a mop. You're asking a lot of dumb questions, Kyle. You're saying a lot of dumb stuff.

Everyone just relax, have fun. We're all having fun. Everything's fine. Mom, dad snores sounds a lot like you snoring, and it sounds like a tape recorder also. Hmm, what are you applying here? Well, I should just say you taped yourself pretending to snore and put it under this, we'll blank it here for dad. You guys don't like love love your dad though, right? Oh, I don't know, I've never had to answer that question.

Give me up now, it's Boston's more than a feeling. Oh! Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, Coming up now it's Boston's more than a feeling I don't know but it's very distracted. Sorry. I'm interrupting this song to have a few calls already I did say Boxed in which of course is a chicken cover band of Boston. Let me turn this off. Why? Let's listen to that whole explanation.

Mom, why are we going towards Mike's house? Mike, your dad's really fun, very handsome friend, Mike. I don't know. I was going to stop by to see if he wanted to go on vacation with us Oh, come on you like Mike's son, right? Mike is pretty fun and Mikey J Jr. is so fun right Yeah, I mean I guess yeah Mike and Mikey J are fun. I mean, they're not dad, but they're fun fun. I mean they're not dad but they're fun. I can't. I can't. I can't abide this. I mean sure dad was being a little bit fussy on the whole drive and he I I don't like when he makes fun of your driving either okay. But I think we could talk about it not leave him behind. That was a very

scary gas station. I think he'll be fine and he was smelling up the whole camper and he's not as tall or as handsome as Mike and I think you're gonna really love having a tall handsome new dad. Hold on one second I'm gonna make a quick request to the radio station. Hi yes hello one at a point seven. Yes you're on the air. Yes could I hear two-box? Two-box Shakur?? Yes, please. All right, we're gonna play that next. Any particular song you want to hear? I'll give you a few seconds. I'll buy some time if you need. And then say, what about changes?. You know we also play real songs. No, no, no, no.

Hey mom, is it? Maybe what? Shouldn't you and dad have just gotten like a divorce? If you don't love each other, it's just like. This is easier and cleaner. Let's listen to the radio. I have to hear this. Seeing.

No. No. No. No. Thank you. Thank you. see you Thank you Changes all as he has raised his back Chicken bitch Danager thank you so much for being on the show is there anything chicken related or non that you would like to plug?

You know that there is, baby. We are part of a group called Big Grande. We had a podcast called The Teachers Island which you can always listen to. But we are now just released our new podcast, Empire I'll Say, at biggrandaewesight.com. We started a new website where we're selling new original podcasts directly to fans.

So if you want to hear the ones on there now, we've got those. We're going to put out more BigGroundA content. Some animated stuff is in the works, right Drew? Yeah, he nailed it all. Yeah, check out the website, BigGroundA website.com. Wonderful. I'll also chime in to say a man-now-dog pod, which is what the podcast

Dan does with Ryan Rosenberg is also phenomenal and the TV show the other two if you have not seen is one of my favorite shows of the last several years Which starts true? Thank you very much. Thank you. We'd love to get we'd love to get what number years? That'll just to be specific several can be very general. Let me let me think about it. No Number years, that'll just to be specific. Several can be very general. Let me think about it. I'll go. I think even for one year is pretty good.

I know the number, I know the number, but they both just curse me out. So I'm just trying to process. I'm just trying to be like a mother's booker. I like to follow you. Follow me Erin Keefe 10 on Instagram. And also if any of our listeners haven't listened to teachers lounge yet,

I recently did a cross country trip and did a full re- relic of the series. And it makes me laugh so hard that I cry. So please, I think our listeners will really love it. Yeah, you're, yeah, Bill Cravy's voice just like at six in the morning when you're trying to drive is, it's perfect. Thank you. Yes, it'll wake you up.

Make you feel alive, really energized. Please listen to it if you haven't already. It is truly my favorite podcast. Thanks, man. Thank you, that's so nice. Thank you. I think I maybe have even shared this maybe on the Patreon on the show before,

but there was a time when I was listening to Big Ground. I was getting ready to go to work. I was listening to Teacher Slounge, and I was in my bathroom, and I had just taken a big sip of coffee. And I think it was something that Ryan said that made me spit the coffee all over the wall of my bathroom. And then I had to spend like 15 minutes

I didn't have cleaning like coffee off of, like it was wall, this floor is ceiling. Like I don't know how it had happened, but I had to clean my whole bathroom that day. So I cannot recommend that show enough. Please listen to Teacher's Lodge, drink a big mouth of coffee before you do. Oh, and one actual thing to plug.

Our editor, Casey Tony, who does an amazing job editing this podcast, as well as some other classic podcasts, like Skyjacks and NeoSkum, is a need of your help. Casey is a full-time freelance editor and his computer recently shit the bed completely. So he set up a go for me for a new one and we are going to link that in the show notes. If you're a fan of the stuff that Casey creates or you're just like a kindhearted, generous

person, please consider tossing him out a couple bucks. He's genuinely one of the nicest human beings in the world and he makes wonderful art. And if you can help him out, please do. Again, that link is in the show notes. I love you guys. So nice. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

And we're very excited about the new project, a big, round day website. So people should definitely check that out and buy all of the podcasts that you can buy. Does anyone else here bring their drinks into the bathroom with them? No, absolutely not. So it was part of a very specific morning ritual

when I was working at that job because I had it timed out so I could spend as much time asleep as possible before I had to be awake and like getting ready to move out of, if you don't have- You guys go for your water bottles into the shower? Here's the thing. Is that weird? I'm serious, I do that.

You see, you see a hydrate post come? No, I'm serious, there's no one else have you never brought your bottom bottle for the show? I don't, like when do you take a little swing? Like, I guess I take really long showers. So I'll just be like shaving my legs and be like, I'm a little dehydrated, maybe because they're also

really warm too. That makes sense, sure, sure. Sweating. I feel like an idiot. I did used to bring coffee into the bathroom with me in like my 20, in my early 20s, but then I found out that smells is particles? Turns out smells is particles.

So when you smell shit, that means there's shit particles in the air and they're getting in your little, they're getting in your coffee. So that's when I stopped bringing drinks in the bathroom. Just wanna clarify here because Adel's comment makes it sound like I was in the bathroom to take a shit. And no, I wouldn't bring a sandwich in the bathroom.. I turned on the shower to Maximib Steve took a big old shit, the junk. And that's where we'll end it. Aaron, you it's post Thanksgiving, it's not

quite Christmas. You've actually come up with a new holiday that's a celestial worship holiday Do you want to let listeners know what that is? Yes Really quick have to thank Dan's mom for saying I look like Susan Sarandon and then I'll tell you the name Which is Jupiter? Sorry, Eric Keaton. And John Patrick Cullen. Casey Tony to the editing. Eric and the music. Vocal created by M.O.B. Cargamus and M.O.N. Immortals.

Let me know when you'll come back to your hate, Rick or Rick Yolk. And if you liked Dan and Drew on today's episode, we have a bonus episode coming out tomorrow with the other half of Big Grande, Ryan and John. Please listen to that and then please go to their website and buy other podcasts. That was a headgun podcast.