Hey Riddle Riddle - #124.5: Big Grande Part 2! w/ Ryan Rosenberg & Jon Mackey

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

Big Grande Week continues! For this bonus episode we have the hilarious Ryan Rosenberg and Jon Mackey with us! We read some homonym listener submitted riddles that are VERY fun and not too hard. We see a boy band that could either be N’sync or Backstreet Boys, free climbers, and Jack Mackey & the Losers. Everyone grab a slice of potato pizza and let’s have some fun! Donate to our editor Casey Toney's GoFundMe!Check out Ryan and Jon in the podcast Teachers Lounge and in their brand new podcasts featured at www.biggrandewebsite.comStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Great, and if I could just get a few seconds of room town from everybody. Wow, this is nice. Just the tranquillity. I wish somebody would tell me to get some room town just a few hours. It's like the same as meditating. You know, why don't you grab some room town just every few hours. Yeah, that's like the same as like meditating. It's like, you know what, why don't you get some, why don't you grab some room town real quick?

Unclean your throat. I'm going to throw you so right. Straighten your back, drink some water. Close your eyes and then get room to. The cat is of an airplane. He's after with an obstacle. And the horse is taking a ride. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. All right, close your eyes, deep breath. Hmm. Take in the sounds of the room. Alright close your eyes, deep breath. Take in the sounds of the room, check in with your internal sounds, okay. Okay, I have a question.

Yes, JPC. So I'm checking with my internal sounds and it's like a gurgling. Oh, oh. Like the inside of a water fountain. I don't know if it's a gurgle. It's like a trickle, it's like a trickle of a gurgle. Is it a trickle or a gurgle? Those are two wildly different sounds. It's like a gurgle, it's like a trickle, it's like a trickle of a gurgle. Is it a trickle or a gurgle?

Those are two wildly different sounds. It's like a gurgle that's trickling. So a gurgle is the sound of the trickle is the action. Okay, that's what it's like. And you are leaving a trail of blood behind you. That's so I can find my way home. Perfect, Aaron, let's check in with you. How are you doing?

Are you peaceful? Are you centered? I have an internal sound too, but it's just Phil Collins, the song that he wrote for that kids movie. Oh, in the air tonight. No. It's about when Tarzan, when Tarzan is on one vine and he lets go to catch another, for a brief moment he's flying and he's in the air. No, and he watched, he watched a gorilla die and he could have saved him. No, and he watched he watched a gorilla die and he could have saved him. It's um no not Tarzan. What's the other one?

The tell everybody I'm on my way New friends and new people to see that's in my head. Is that normal? It made the girl go away If that helps my inner voice is telling me I'm Adlerify. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keith. What do you think is that from? Has anybody ever, I just realized I have, I thought I had seen most Disney movies. And then I saw that there's one that's like,

what is it, Road to El Dorado, is that one? Yeah, that's one. Has anybody seen that? Is that a, I saw it when it came out, yeah. But that was a long time ago. What is that one about? Well, I don't know what that one was about, but I know two gentlemen that might just know what that one was about because we have some guests Please welcome to the show from Big Ronde improv Ryan Rosenberg and John Mackie Yeah. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Iistadors looking for Eldorado. Thanks, John Mackie, Titan of Energy.

I'm in big picture. I remember, I only remember images from it. I don't think I ever watched the whole movie. I think I just saw the trailer and then just never went and watched it. But I don't, yeah, I wish I could help more. It almost seems like one of those movies that never actually came out, but somehow we all have a memory of it. Yeah. Like a very famous thing, boys.

Yeah, it's a Mandela Effect situation where it's actually, or the Sinbad Genie movie, I think that there's one. where it's actually, or the Sinbad Genie movie, I think that there's one, but doesn't exist, but everybody thinks it exists. It, yeah, but that's not a real movie. Would you guys, would everyone in this room, be into doing a Zoom, where I play Road to Tradition and Road to Eldorado, we hit play at the same time

and we just see what happens, and maybe there's like a pink Floyd Wizard of Oz situation. You never know. Hey, Adel, I would not be into that, but I know a pillow wearing my clothes that would very much like be there. It will even smell like him. It's like a career. J. Pillow suit.

I feel like we all collectively made up the movie Atlantis. Like that came out and then I don't think anyone thought, but it exists, maybe. I don't even have an image in my head for that movie. Yeah, I can't think of what this is. It's like an anime movie, it's like a Disney. Oh! Yeah.

It's the lost city of Atlantis, right? Yeah. It's a underground city. I'm not completely crazy. Wait, Dorado is also a lost city. So he's just lost city. He's lost from our consciousness. Disney went through a big lost city phase.

Shangri-la, la, la, what else. We had, Ryan and John from Big Run, they've been on the show before. Maybe we can't decide when is, maybe two years ago. Ryan, we just did Manown Dog Pod and after the show, I have to check in with you because after the show, I jokingly delivered you a pizza from Chicago to LA. It was, yes, because we ordered it from Chicago, but it wasn't, the pizza wasn't from Chicago. Pizza was from LA, yeah, but I'm in Chicago, but I ordered it. You and LA pizza? It's not deep not deep dish that I don't care.

What an LA pizza. A suntan lotion and avocado. It's known for wet crust, wet crust pieces at least. But when we were getting off the Zoom call, Ryan was like, I wish someone would send me a pizza and I was like, this will be a funny bit. So I ordered you an extra large tater-top pizza from the place that seemed closest to your residence. Right. Which I had never heard of, by the way.

I never heard of this one. It's great. You know it's good. And when I texted you to answer your door because there was food coming, the only reply I got back was a picture of the pizza and then the description, dense and rich. So Ryan can you give us a full review of that Tatertop pizza? Well I will say this, I think it had cheese on it

but it may, it may, literally I don't know the answer this, it may have been mashed potatoes. Okay, okay. It was like no cheese I had ever had. The tater tots were nice. They were crispy. I ate them off of the top of the pizza, but I didn't eat them like with pizza. So it sounds like a school lunch. Like the school lunch cafeteria has had leftover food that they're not using during the pandemic, and they just sold that to a pizza place.

It was also the weird- What the pizza place was it from? It was called the name. It was called the Thanks Pizza. Like Thanks. Pizza. Okay. And I actually liked their branding. Like their box had like a guy on it who was like yeah, you know It was kind of sweet and they they serve like little special sauce with it like it's a little thing a red sauce We're just like I wonder what this red stuff tomato sauce

No, it was like it was like a half spicy half sweet thing I was like, this doesn't go with the pizza, so I talked. But it was a funny pizza place for you. Thanks for picking us. We are about to go out of business. Thank you so much. We make potato pizza. We don't know what we're doing. I also have to tell you the full truth.

I had already ordered pizza that day. And I had gotten a pizza like, like a little bit before you told me that it was happening and I was like, well, it seems like it's already underway. I can't stop it now. So I had three pizzas in my fridge. I mean, two pizzas.

Uh. Well, whenever you have time, just spend on me $37. I know. Well, let's get into it for the first37. Well, let's get into that first week. Well, let's get into the show. You two know the deal. We're going to do some riddies and puzzies. We'll try and solve them.

And along the way, we can call for improvised scenes whenever we like. I believe Aaron is going to be our old man, puzzies. Aaron, whenever you're ready. Awesome. I'm going to do some listener submitted riddles, because those are always the best. So all of our warm-up riddles, or all of our riddles depending on how quickly we move through these, are from Jack F. And he wrote all of these riddles and he said just quick

disclaimer, I did not run these by anyone. Can I say something real quick that I just found out like two weeks ago and I'm so fucking dumb. I never realized and maybe this is bullshit and we'll see by your your guys reaction. I never realized Jack was a nickname for John. Hmm. Is that a thing? Yeah. I never realized that. I never realized that.

But he goes by Jack. I thought Jack was its own name and then I read or heard something where someone's like, Jack is a, when you're John, you can go, when you're John, then you can go by John or Jack, which I never heard of, never realist. You didn't wear it. So when this whole time, John F. Kennedy, when people were calling him Jackie Onassis, what did you think was going on? Wait a minute. Wait, no, Adolf's a fucking dumbass, right? What do you think? Magic bullet.

Anyways, okay. So these are the format for all of these riddles. The rules are this. The riddle structure is, I am blank and blank. And the blanks are both filled with one word that can be related to the answer, which is a homonym. For example, I am blushing and written is red, red, R-E-D slash R-E-A-D because when someone is blushing their cheeks are red and when something that is written has also been red. Looks like the same word. It makes sense.

I think it should be easy. Yeah, you'll get these and like no problem at all. I wouldn't get the other. My prediction is these will be very difficult for me That's what I would like to do. Hey John have John have you ever gone by Jack me? Then wait which oh wait, which two John's out of the clarify John Mackey John Mackey I Absolutely not have never gone by Jack. I might so come I also I think Jack Mackey would be that would not be a great name Jack Mac. I mean Jack Macie would be that would not be a great name Jack. I mean Jack Mackie sounds like a piece of shit Sounds like a guy to party who claims to know Steve McQueen

I truly if I want to hear a radio show someday hosted by a man named Jack Mackey and it's called Jack Mackey and the losers The guy who like the guy who is his like sort of partner who just like fucking takes it Yeah, for sure Jack, I'll be a loser. We're gonna we have to see it now. So we're just gonna see a brief scene John you're gonna we have to see it now. So we're just gonna see a brief scene. Um John you're gonna play Jack Mackie Ryan and Aaron you are gonna be the losers the the initial episode of Jack Mackie and the losers What's up about their radio waves it's me Jack Mackie sitting here with these two pieces of shit the losers What's going on losers? Oh?

Yeah, we're the worst Yeah, that's just stuck in crap Of course you did of course we're gonna start the show out today like we always do reading user submitted burns That's right this burns coming from Sarah M from Lancaster and this is for loser number two I don't know which one that is because you're both not number one. Can I just say before you start? I hope they're not too harsh this time. Well, yeah, I don't want to cry in my car again after this Sounds like a thing you have complete control over losers. So here we go. Sarah's burn. This one for loser number two says

flush sound. That was it. Flush sound. That's right. That's all I was. Oh man, I got flushed down a toilet. Oh man, I have an email here. This is from anonymous and definitely not me. Hey, this is really hard to listen to because everyone's feelings are being heard. Maybe we can see her. Not reading your phone or a computer right now. Looks like you're just saying that for memory loser. Yeah. Maybe we change the name of the show where everyone takes turns being the losers. I don't know. Sorry, we're already the number one result on Google when you search Jack Mackey.

So we're not going to change the name now because that would ruin all of our, what is it? PR, I don't know what the fuck. That even goes to the toilet bowl. Guys, I think you found a hit. It's really funny. Serious XM. Are you listening? All right, are we ready? Yes, yes, I am cow and conversation I am cow and conversation so

Swine so is He's a twine. That's big, my friend. Well, you know how John's gonna be called Jack? Counts can be slight. Counts can be slight. I am cow in conversation. A meat meat. Uh huh, you got it.

Nice one. Nice one. Yay! Okay John, you get 100 points. Nice. Wow. You got to stand at Jack Mackey mentality. Whoever wins, I will send you a potato pizza at the end of the morning.

I don't want to win. I'll say this, send some potatoes and send some pizza. But together, they don't work that good. Well, you didn't try the sauce, so I think that would have tied it all together. I've been trying a pizza from thanks potatoes. I am capitalism and leaving. Bye bye. Is it? Bye bye. That's really good. I'm still stuck on bovine. I'm trying to think of another hominem. We got the answer. Okay, the answer's already got good. Bovine and cosine. I would like to see a scene Kansas City Royal and Raiders running back

Acting like Tarzan. Okay, the four of you are all backstreet boys And let's say right you were the backstreet boy trying to convince everyone to add one more buy to the song bye Guys, I'm telling you we're ripping off in sync. It's already perfect. Yes, that's why we need to add one more by. Because if we add one more by, it's technically a different song. Bye, bye, bye, bye. Did in sync do that song?

Yeah. Okay, do this new scene be in sync? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we will roll with this. You guys, come on. My name is AJ McLean, and I'm the crazy one. Did you see the V intent? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let's all go around and say our name and what we are just to remind ourselves good But before we start let's just remind ourselves who were not I'm definitely not Chris Kirkpatrick No, a member of insect. Yes, also none of us are Lance bass another member of it's a none of us are Justin Timberlake obviously obviously Yeah, none of us are Joey Fatoon That's right none of us are Joey's yes none of us are Joey Fatoon But I am more there's more

Jc jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis jc chavis I'm gonna go T. My name and I'm on my phone for a different reason. My name is, I wanna say, howie, Daru, Daro, and I have to be the sweet one. You are the sweet one, I think. And I am. I'm looking across at Nick Carter and I'm saying. Nick Carter, sweet McDonald's haircut. Yeah, I'm of course, Nick Carter. Every, I hate my brother.

He's crazy. Hey guys, are my ears burning? Hey guys, can I be in the band? It's Aaron. Yeah, I'm of course Nick Carter every I hate my brother My ears burning hey guys can I be in the band? Aaron Aaron get out of here. Oh, by the way Aaron. We know you didn't beat shack. I did I did You wrote that whole show how I beat shack and you didn't and I threw the party of the year too That's all real a spill a kid spilled juice of my mom's new cushion. It all happened. They tell him. Aaron, believe me. I am Brian LaTrell and I'm very surprised that this is what I look like. Get out of here. I have almost no memory of me. But I'm sure I'm gonna have a great, very easy life after this interaction. Oh yeah, if I have anything to say about it, you are not.

Whatever. Wait, wait, wait, repeat what you just said. Everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Back off. Back off. What if we do that and what if we're like universal monsters?

Oh, that seems expensive. See. I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I thought that that was Backstreet Boys. What happened? Hey, we got you back. We totally got you back by naming all members of both groups. It used to be so cool. What happened?

Can I tell you guys a funny anecdote? I, when I was working on lights out the comedy central show at David Spade We did a tie-in bit with Chili name drop and and we cast we cast Chris Kirk Patrick from in sync to be in the bit and He was one of the nicest guys Wow I'm so sorry John you said that's a funny anecdote. Yeah, because we had him sing the Chili's

GM song that they did by himself. Oh, honest days. Is that like baby backwards? Yeah, yeah. And he just did it by himself and made up choreography in prompt to and it was honestly it was funny. I don't know if the bits online anywhere John Here's my I shouldn't have told this I literally New's nice it does he have like a wife and kids and is like I think so and he like lives in Nashville I think and he's like significantly older than the rest of the group, right?

That's what I think. I think he might be. They were like a team group and he was like 29. Yeah. Of course. That's like hey, real riddle. Oh, I have a new dream job. Yeah.

I want to be in a team group. It just me and a bunch of 17 year olds. And I'm just too tired all the time to do the choreography. Right. John, I have a theory that I may have voiced on this show before, but I'll get through it quickly. And it's something I've done constantly. My theory is that anytime someone meets a celebrity,

they either say that it's always like the bookings of extremism, they either say like they could not have been more a piece of shit or they could not have been nicer. Like, it's any celebrity story. I've never heard somebody be like, I ran into John Lutkow, like it's always like, he's the nicest guy. He could not have been nicer. The greatest person I've ever met,

or it's always like, what a piece of shit, what a complete monster. And it's like, what did he do? He didn't high five me or something. Yeah, I always feel like it's that extreme swing. I think it's because we all have an expectation. And either your expectation is completely met or it's completely reversed like, sort of reversed.

So, like, so many people think, oh, celebrities, they all suck. But then, like, you meet them and they're, like, not bad, and you're like, oh, then they're the best person. Or you have, like, or they have, like, the opposite where, like, you think this person, like, oh, they seem so nice, and then you meet them, and they're, like, not, and you're like,

oh, what the fuck? Like, you suck, actually. Will Farrell passed you're like, what the fuck? You suck actually. Will Farrell pass me on the freeway the other day? Not funny, bro. Oh, yeah. Fuck me. What's the fuck that guy? He didn't even do one.

Was it funny? His hair was long, though. That was kind of. I think on that spectrum of like nicest person or like total asshole, there's like a celebrity in the middle. Like that Steve Bouchimmi who who is like constantly opening doors for people and they just walk right past him. And people like, have you ever met a celebrity and like, no,

I've never met a celebrity. Can you imagine seeing Steve Bouchimmy in public and not recognizing Steve Bouchimmy though? I read an article, it was like a New Yorker profile in him like years ago, and the guy started the article with like, Steve Bouchimmy and I were supposed to meet in this cafe. I was there for a fucking hour. I'm like, Steve Bishimmi set me up,

and then I go to leave and I'm like, oh shit, you're Steve Bishimmi, you've also been waiting here for an hour. I'm so sorry, you're so innocuous. I'm assuming you did. It's also his voice is so distinct. So if I heard him quarter coffee, oh here he is. Yeah, what am I gonna say anywhere in the room?

I have no idea what I'd say Hello, I probably I'd be like sorry, you should be I do not work here. I would love to get you a coffee I just I don't I just I don't You look really interesting You look really interesting. Ooh! Oh! Ooh, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da done. Nice job, John. I wanna see you seen. Ryan, you are going to be a pirate captain based off the I.I. You're gonna be a pirate captain, and you are very kind of existential and philosophical

all about the self. And GPC, Aaron, and John, you are his, uh, first, second and third mates. Hmm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, listen to this. When I say, I, I, it means yes, right? But it also means me, I, I, am I talking to myself? Did you get high again a Little bit maybe also bus come off the back of the boat you just been steering out over the waves for the last six And look how far you can see

You know, I don't think this world is flat Okay, but boss. I don't know boss. I feel like, you know, if it was flat, we could see all the way to the other side of the world, but we can't, because it curves down. Whoa, look at him clouds. Oh, what you see there for me? I see myself, aye? Weird, right?

Yeah, weird. I don't know if it's really weird, boss. myself, eh? Weird, right? Weird. I don't know if it's really weird, boss. I mean, icy clouds. I feel like it's about more about your state than about the state of the cloud, if that makes sense. Yeah, it's like you're projecting, you know. It's like an object that don't look like nothing can look like anything. I, I.

For example, I'm projecting because those clouds look like nothing can look like anything. I, I. For example, I'm projecting because those clothes look like all the men I killed. I see you need them everywhere. I can't use the accent. Again, again. It really has, it's like a projection of your psychosis. Right. Oh my god.

A captain, continue looking out across the waves? That's fine. You have a lot to look at. Crew, can we talk for a second? Yeah, I saw. Oh my God. Oh my God. It doesn't even think it's a bit odd

that we have a college freshman captaining our pirate ship. I mean, it's resume a stellar. I love it. It is all not to be I love it. Yeah. It's a B- Oh, not a B. That is the question. Because you gotta think about it like this. I mean, or any of us, or qualified to do it on my night,

seeing a date past grammar school. Right. Oh, right. I'm certainly not me. I can't even write. I got two peg legs, two peg hands. Right. Oh, let me ask you this.

When you're looking at mirror, who you're looking at, you or yourself? We should kill them. We should kill them. No, hang on, no, I've got me thinking a little bit here, cause it's like... No, no, no, no. This episode will be called The High Seas.

When I was doing that accent, I realized I wasn't breathing. I was like, I'm gonna pass out. I'm gonna pretend to be a pirate for one second. I'm only expelling here. What an embarrassing way to faint too, just make my guess. Because you're pretending to be a pirate too hard. All right, I am fragile and 52

How did Aaron die she forgot to breathe I am fragile and 52 What's a word card card? Oh? Yeah, you got it Franchial and 52 like a state state No, you know, yeah, there are 52 states John. That's a really good point about states. Hey, it's part. John, give it up. Washington, DC and Puerto Rico will never be states as long as this podcast is out the air.

No, I did. They're coming through. This administration, you, I'm feeling it, man. What was it? 52, and 52. I am fragile and 52. And Aaron, can I ask, is 52 meant to be taken as like an age or is 52 in relation to like we said, like a deck of cards or states or something? Yeah, it's in relation to something, it's on an age.

I'm not just talking about a weak 52 year old person. I was like, isn't this like a Molly Shannon character from like, Blah, Yes and no. A week, 52. Week. A week, yeah, you got it, we. character from like a week week week

you got it you just said you said week and you said I'm not talking about a week 52 year old person I'm a dummy no only if it was balder dash yeah I'm

cheated is actually I actually, I took a accidental clue. I'm an optimist and I think that both Aaron and John got it right. I think that you both guessed the answer to the riddle. We did it. And I'm an optometrist and go ahead and look ahead and tell me the letters you see. W-E-E-K. Oh, that should be an E at the end. Go ahead and read it again.

W E D. Nice, yeah, brother. So those were the easy ones. Now these are the medium ones, are you ready? Okay, yeah, that is. Jack Mackie fucking crashing the gate. Yeah, I think I got all of them. Yeah, well yeah, every single one.

I am looking and climbing. Looking and climbing. Eyes rise. No, it's not words that rhyme stupid. I'm looking and climbing and kissing and looking and looking. No one knows the words to that fucking song. No, how would you? Because of a thing that they added different verbs.

But if you believe in a new, I'm with you. So, but thing. All right. Climbing. Climbing is the other one, right? Looking and climbing, because I was like, okay.

I am looking and climbing. CC, but I don't think that, that's climbing. Well, it's so, so. Mm. This is a little misleading, because climbing is like, where do you climb to? but I don't think that uh... uh... well it's so soft this is a little misleading because climbing is like where do you climb to is the word peak peak

yep I'm in shummit peak peak I would like to see a scene um... Adel and John you are uh... two friends and you watch the movie free solo and you're trying...

you've never tried it before but you're trying to climb up a mountain without any gear This is it. Sorry. I just need to take a breather Yeah, how you doing Teddy how you doing? Let's take as much time as we need man I mean like let's be honest. This is the most dangerous hobby a person can have I know Yeah, I think next to like next to like lobster fisherman, this is like most dangerous job. Or like indoor gun shooting. Like this guy.

Wait, why? Indoor gun, I thought, okay, so I just read an article, top three most dangerous jobs were lobster fisherman, ice truck driver, and what was the bodyguard? Bodyguard, yeah. And you said indoor gun shooting? Yeah, it was just the first thing

that popped into my head about a dangerous job. And listen, I'm a little bit scared, man, but I feel like we can do this. Yeah, yeah. And I liked it. Even though the movie was going solo, I'm glad that we partnered up because it's nice to have, you know, we're new to this.

Yeah, and we're solo, we're solo separate. If you fall, I'm gonna be honest with you. Yeah If you fall there's nothing you can do I I cannot and will not do anything Yeah, because I put myself in danger Yeah, and our both our goals is to get home to our loving families after this. Yes. Yes. Yes So we can't we can brag Yeah, yeah exactly my stupid brother can't do shit, okay? Yeah, yeah, exactly my stupid brother can't do shit, okay?

He hasn't done anything with his life and up until this point I have not either yeah, okay, yeah, but after today I will be one of two people who have climbed what most people have called this Climable mountain. Oh my god That guy driving by a scream today That guy driving by scream today He screamed no words And then at the end when I Would have fall I would have followed that guy for just a day. It's just he's like a It's like a one of those body switch movies where dog got switching Driving

That absolutely would be how it happened right if a dog if a dog switch with a human body and all of a sudden had Consciousness have they done that they've done that movie before right? It's kind of a funny. Oh, yeah Cracky dog or something the shaggy dog Tim Allen was in it Well Tim out didn't Tim Allen switch into a dog's body and did the dog have a human body? I don't I Do not There is a movie called The Santa Pause. We're Tim Allen turns into a dog,

and then that dog gets big and turns into Santa. Hang on. That's a joke. You're kidding. You're joking. You're kidding. Are you kidding? Are you kidding?

I do want to hear the inner monologue of the dog when he comes into the person's body. When he freaks you fr out. What is the dog thinking? I think you just mulled it scream and like, what? What do dogs don't have know, when he freaks you for it. Like, what is the dog thinking? Like, whoa, it's green. And like, what do dogs don't have language? I think we got to see it. So, do we know that?

Although my dog responds to us saying it's flavor town. Wanna go to flavor town? When it's time to eat. So, I've accomplished something during quarantine. We're gonna see a scene. JPC, you are holding auditions for a local community play. Ryan, you are auditioning for that play. And in lieu of preparing a monologue that you've memorized,

you've just decided to act as if what it might be like if a dog were to zap into a human person's apps into a dog's body. Great. Hey, it's Ryan, correct? Yes, it is. OK. Perfect. And what do you have to show us today?

Well, it's a bit of a performative piece. It's just called a dog's life. Okay. Is it an author or buy it someone? Well, it's a self-written piece. But the story idea is that I would be a human who did a body swap with a German shepherd, and I will be playing not the human, but the dog. Okay.

And then, no, that's fine. And other people have been doing their own work as well. We did ask for this to be a dramatic. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Perfect. And I guess whenever you're ready. Okay. Oh, man, I have fleas. I think I have fleas. Oh, God, I'm itching like crazy.

Oh, who's that hot babe? Oh, another hot babe dog. Oh, a hot babe dog. Oh my God, another hot babe dog. These fleas are driving me crazy. Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt. I'm supposed to go next, but I have the same monologue as him. And I'm feeling a little embarrassed.

Can I just have a little bit more time to prepare? No, you know what? I actually love that instinct. Why don't you pop up there with Ryan? And we'll do it as more of a dialogue. We'll do it as more of a dialogue piece. This is working. And by the way, I did ask for everyone

to prepare a dramatic anachimetic. I don't even think I'm gonna need the comedic. The dramatic is working for me that well. So please play up that drama whenever you're ready. And you want me to also be the dog or be a different person in the scene that he's talking to. Hey, I'm not the director until we cast the play. Let's just use the, you know what I mean?

Let's just use each other. Okay, oh, I have a good idea. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Wait. See us each other. Okay, oh, I have a good idea. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Rufu. Wait, I'm a human and a dog body. Oh my god. Wait me too.

Oh, Chip, you're supposed to be, well you'd be the, you'd be the dog and the human body. This is good, this is great. Figure it out. These fleas are driving you crazy. Ah, I keep seeing hot human babes, but they won't date me because I'm a dog now. Honest to God, I think I might try to have sex with my first human. Honest to God, I might try to have sex with my second dog.

Wait a second, I'm just walking by. I'm so sorry, I'm not here for the audition. I just got a sign outside the door. I'm just walking by. Could we have the dog turn in the Santa Claus? Oh, yeah, I love that direction. And absolutely. Let's have some. So you just take direction from anybody? Well, I know not when the play is cast,

but I'm not the director until the play is cast. That's not really pretentious. Thank you. You ready? I can do this again. Thank you. You ready? I can do this again, let's go, okay? Okay. Okay. Right, right.

Wow, I'll tell you what, I'm a lot taller now. I'll tell you what, I love getting to sleep all day and pee outside. Hey, that's gotta be nice. I really feel like I can empathize with you. Wait a minute. What's this long beard I'm growing? And all of a sudden I want to eat cookie. I'm sorry. I just feel like the more I'm doing this, I feel like it's not a great I do. You both, no, no, you both did an amazing job. I dreamed a dream. I don't need to hear the song. Hear the song.

I want you both in Les Mis. I want you both. Hi. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm so, so, so, this into a laboratory where I'm gonna try to swap my essence with my dog here. Are you serious? Can we watch? Could you play Javair? You have the bone structure of a Javair. Could you play Javair? I didn't hear any of the other things you said.

I have to say, I love Les Mis and I feel like I could play any part in the film. Are you doing film? You're doing the film. It's an idea. Can I ask, are you taking commissions for science work? Because if you can do all this in just an hour in a theater, I am so interested in your work. Commissions for science works are like I'm an artist doing science.

I don't know. I mean, if you wanted to give me some money, the one that you've been at. You had to do an Etsy shop for your science. I actually haven't only had some. You could subscribe and I do live streams of my experiments and sometimes they get a little bit racy. So yeah, it's pretty cool. I'm open.

Okay, I feel like I love this energy. I love the scientist. I love dog switching. But this is at the end of the day. This is where I'm supposed to kick us out of the room by the way. I'm so sorry. I'm Chris Martin and I'm walking by. I was climbing up to the roof. How could this be?

I was climbing up to the rooftop because I was so sad, but I heard someone say they like the scientist. That's a hit song of my album, a rush of blood to the head. Chris, you could have walked right by. It's a scene. Can you... Can you...

Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you...

Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... Can you... I love that shit, man. Wow, shit. Yeah, I love the idea of commissioning a theorem. We're thinking of commissioning a theorem. We have to go commission some theorems from some of our advertisers. So we will be right back after this commercial break. Hey, Jimmy. Hey, Rick. Rick. Oh, man.

Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle.

And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking our all spaces to all one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website it gauge with your audience and sell anything for products to cut into time? All in one place? All on your terms?

Hey, Addle. Come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace? You can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money.

What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Addle? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics.

Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron.

I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website is for Frank With square space You can connect to your store to vetted third-party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey jpc. Hey jpc. What's up, Adam? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine dude We got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com, slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron.

Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse.

I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, they're, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have they're never truly as a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So, as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems, he has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow.

Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed

therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash riddle

r-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e, the middle of riddles of d, but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two d. I am home. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.

Um, I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Bunny is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket Bunny, well quickly, and around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly,

and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, clink, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses, so you can easily track your budget in real time, and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average

person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirtanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle Intel of JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website

the website. I love you, Ruggie Money. Hey, Rick, don't break the promise. What's up, germs and idiots, it's me, Jack Mackie, here with the losers. That's right. These two pieces of shit are still here no matter how hard I ride them. You are the best man at my wedding. Just don't understand why you treat me like this. Oh, because you love it.

Doesn't matter what you say. Doesn't matter what anybody says, they could say they hate it, but they love it. The numbers don't lie loser. That's right. We're going to go and do the next segment that we always do on the show. And that is where I just look at you and say what I don't like. Start with the, we're gonna start with you. You don't say my nose again.

Oh, but it's so there. You know what I mean? Please don't say my everything again. Oh, but I can't narrow it down. It's too hard. You do suck. Do you remember that show? I don't, it wasn't even a game show.

There was a show where judges would hold laser pointers and shine a laser light on someone's body Like people would stand in bikinis and stuff or in was it the swan was it that net Oh, that was a classic surgery which was fucking bonkers. Thank you for reminding me of that This was maybe like hot or not or something so like someone would stand on like a someone to stand on stage And I feel like it was like Lorenzo Lamis or someone if that's a if that's a human not or something. So like someone would stand on stage. What? Someone would stand on stage. And I feel like it was like Lorenzo Lamis or someone, if that's a human. And it would like shine a laser pointer

and be like chest, great, stomach needs tightening, your face is asymmetrical. And it was just like they would verbally tear someone apart, someone's physical. I do remember this now. Sounds like my cup of tea. That sounds like the main. And it was was like, I believe it hit show. And it just feels like living in 2020,

it seems wild that that ever existed. Have you, have you guys seen the British show naked attraction? Oh, I just was about to mention that. Is that one you see a little bits of their body at a time? It's basically, yeah, six naked people in boxes and a little shade raises up a little bit each round to show their feet and then their

genitalia, genitalia. What? Genitalia. Genitalia, it's pasta. Yeah, genitalia, it's tele. Darn, genitalia. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix.

He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. He was in the matrix. Matrix But then the person a person basically picks a person to go on a date with based on their naked body And it ends which is almost the most Demoralizing moment of an episode is the last one where they hear their voice for the first time So it's like somebody could see my beautiful well not my beautiful naked body

But be attracted enough to my naked body to want to go on a date with me And then I say hello and they say actually that almost feels worse than someone being like, I don't like his penis. I the whole time I was watching that I just kept thinking about how hard it would be to stand still. If you're one of the naked people, like, it's on the crotch part and you just have to be like, and apparently it's like an eight hour day. I've heard on that show it's like eight hours of them standing naked in a box Are they would love to be on that show not as not as well as to make it people bored

But other people picking a naked person as a person with a foot fetish To just be like they just pull it up a little bit like I'm all good I like it all let's just just chill here don't waste anymore it ruins it for me Are they are they all the rounds just feet? Are they wearing underwear? Can they be mashed potatoes with their feet? Would that be possible? If I was there, completely naked.

There's no underwear, no bra, nothing. No, except for the host and the contestant, right? And at the end, the contestant has to be naked as well. Yeah, they showed them their naked body. I would 100% who they picked to sides. I would 100% right grower on my tummy or something? Just to cover my vases. I can't think, which round would I be most offended

to get out on? There's no winning there. It would hurt my feeling. Every single one would have my feeling. I think it's gotta be voice, because if it's me and it's my body and it gets all the way up, I'm like, somehow I made it. Like this is fucking great.

I can't believe I won. Well, because it's a thing that everybody always says, like, oh, like being like hot people, hot, hot, I need to be attractive people, you know? But then if the thing that gets you cut is like your voice or your personality, it's almost worse to me. Yeah. It's like worse to me. Yeah.

It's like you can handle me being what I am physically. I think it's really funny that there's no real mystery of the show. It just like gets to the last person and they always pick the hottest person. Like it's just like, oh, what a surprise. They always pick the guy with the biggest dick and go with the highest breasts.

I don't know why. I just felt connected to him. It's a really fascinating show because we see what happens when people are purely based on looks. Yeah, it's very wild. So stupid. All right, back to riddles. Oh, go ahead, add on.

I want to see a scene. So Aaron, you're going to be part of a new dating show. JPC, John, and Ryan are the contestants. And this is where they stand behind a screen. It's all blurred. You can't make out any single shape, but each contestant will physically describe a part of their body that you request.

All right, welcome back to the show. Lauren, whenever you're ready, go ahead and give a number of a contestant and then which part you'd like to hear about. Hi, I'd like to hear from contestant number one. Contestant number one, what are your teeth look like? But not the front ones, but like the inner, like the wisdom teeth. Like what do they look like?

Oh, um, okay, well yeah, my wisdom teeth, I'll tell you this, out of the gate, I've only got three of them. One of them never came in and my dentist said there was room back there if they did come in, but it never did come in. The other three, however, they came in and one of them actually cracked one of my molars. So I... That's hot. Yeah, so... And this was about 10 years ago.

And I... I still have it. Got haven't fixed my dentist. That's right, Lauren. We're in the tickle round where we have an associate producer to go the contestants while they talk about their body. Please stop it. Please stop it. But on the top right, my top right back molar was cracked by incoming wisdom tooth and I have yet to fix it So the back my back teeth are pretty bad the front I often get compliments about how straight my teeth are from dentists and You know regular people. I only like the back teeth and they use your son sexy sexy hot

What another another can this Contestant number two. What? What does your butt look like? To my butt? I guess I gotta say my butt looks like two pounds of pudding and two plastic bags. Exactly, my tape.

Awesome. Thank you. Oh, sorry. and sorry, contestant number two, we are associate producers coming around to tickle you now. Oh, the bags are in hot love to boot. Wow. And you have one more round. Can, test it number three. What does the inside of your head look like? Oh, that's a very interesting question.

Real quick, I have not been able to get this off of my mind since you started talking Melissa. I don't know. I forgot I'll say something. Is your name Melissa? Oh, the card says Lauren, but of course all of our contestants have fake names to protect their identity. Yeah, Melissa, what's up?

Yeah, this is your cousin Dave. I know we had different, we know. No, we had different last names, so I don't know how this maybe passed the check. It's a question, buddy. What's inside of your head? Looked like well right now I'm thinking about what our kids would look like if I went through with Dave I'm so happy you're here and I can see you're being tickled and not being affected by it

I'm not being affected by the tickle because I'm so stressed out about The fact that you're my cousin don't worry Dave. You're still in the running excuse me associate producer I would like to get off the show. I would like to see. It's me, your cousin. You know that cousin you were looking to fuck? Well listen to this. JVC is gonna pick you, so if you had just kept the scene going.

Ah! Damn, dude, you missed out. That was my shot. The girl who's really into wisdom teeth. Your cousin that got away. All right. I am tangled and incorrect. Tangled and incorrect.

Tangle, of course, another Disney movie. Impuntled. Punzel. Not not. Yeah. Gosh, John. John, I don't know what's happening. You're getting so close to the potato pizza.

I am not good at this stuff. I don't understand why I'm. You're getting so close to the potato pizza. I am not good at this stuff. I don't understand why I'm having this stuff. Yes you are. It's clear that you are underestimating yourself. You're arguing at this stuff. If you were an NBA jam, you'd have flames on the net. I'm a fire. Sure.

I'm heating up. John, if you win, I will pay for you to fix that muller. No, I mean, everybody could tell that that was true? 100% I'm gonna make the call to the dentist for you. You started crying during the Zoom. Yeah, no, I truly have. I haven't had dental insurance until very recently, so now I can get it fixed.

Good. I'm glad. Don't worry everybody out there, but if you'd like to send me some money, I mean, absolutely. Would you like to go for John's teeth? Yeah. Go, please set up a go for me for my teeth. John, do you often get compliments about the front of your teeth? I, every dentist I've ever gone to has said, did you have braces as a kid?

And I'm like, no, but then I'm like, shut the fuck up because my two middle bottom teeth overlap completely. It's absolute bullshit. They're just buttering me up to try to like, you go well the front is really nice. The front, let me talk about the front for a second. The front is really nice. The back.

I don't wanna burp. I wanna burp. All right. I am improv and visible. Ugly, ugly. Yeah, you got it. Oh, there we go. On the board.

It's an all-john sweep. I am foot and religious. Fettish, fetish? No. I am foot and religious. Fettish fetish? No. I am foot and religion. Fettish fetish. Foot and religion. Religious is not maybe the best hint for this.

Foot definitely helps. I would say like spirituality. Oh, like. Corn corn, but the K the R is backwards 100% I would also say maybe like Yes, but something that you would sell to a bad guy Silt to a bad guy maybe the are like the worst I'm making this harder. Oh wait, there's a hit. Okay. I am a part of the foot and the self.

Soul. And the sit- Oh yeah, you got it! Soul. Oh, nice. There we go. I would like to see a scene. Adel and Ryan, Adel, you are the devil

and you're asking to buy Ryan's soul. She's a hunk. What? Don't be alarmed. Ha ha ha. I'm not gonna tell you my soul if that's what it is. Fuck. Why does that- Did someone tell you? Yeah, that's your famous thing. Fuck. This is my spirit. Okay, and I'm not going to part with it. Not today, Satan. I want to say ever since-

I don't know. 1987 when I was in Georgia. Ever since an incident there, everyone seems to know what I'm up to. Did something happen in 1987? You went down to Georgia, didn't you? Yeah, that's what I just up to did something happen in 87 you went down to Georgia Didn't you yeah, that's what I just said Why'd you friends like that yeah, yeah, yeah, well the devil went down to Georgia and he was looking for a soul to steal It's pretty famous song upstairs. Oh

Wait, I went down to Georgia. It shouldn't be I went up to Georgia because I'm coming from beneath the earth Hey, you tell us man. I don't know, but you're not getting my soul. Ah, come on, come on. What are you? What about this? Yeah, yeah. You can tell everyone you took my soul. Yes.

Can I just give you the soul of my shoe? I don't. I don't. Why does everyone offer me that? I want to say ever since, I want to say 91, everyone's offering me either diamonds or the souls of their shoes. Did something happen in 91?

Uh, I don't remember. I guess not. And I guess not. Okay, here's what I want. What is your, let's not even talk about. Thanks for taking no for an answer by the way. I really do. Oh, of course, I'm respectful.

I'm the devil. I'm not disrespectful. I know. Let's work, but let's work something out. So this is, you know, this is negotiations, right? You say, you know, I say a million dollars, you say a hundred million, we meet in the middle. What is your biggest, what do you want?

You wanna be famous? Can I be honest, you wanna go dick? Yeah, no, no, no, it's hot. I don't know, okay. And as you can tell, I came down in a wool sweater. Yeah, big pants. Yeah. I would just love to be in shorts in the tank, if I'm honest.

Okay, so, okay. So you want to be in shorts in the tank first. What if we did a, we're still negotiating. What if I gave you a sweater and tight pants? It's a big pants. For what, for what? Okay, no, not what I want. Don't, I don't want to fight.

Okay, I were just negotiating. What if I gave you a sweater? And again, I appreciate you for being so open. Of course, not sweater, expecting. A sweater and caprice. Okay, now we're talking loose pants. Don't go all the way to the bottom. Change that sweater to a tank top and then you hit.

I can't tell the soul of my shoe. What if it was a sweater vest? Sweater vest and caprice. Okay, what's the material? I'm wool Give me 50 50 polyester and we're good, okay? Okay? All right, and how about a fiddle Made out of anything you want hey man. We don't nobody wants your fiddle come on. No. No, come on It's your fiddle. There's nothing wrong with it. Here. I'll play it See No, no, no, no, that's your fiddle. There's nothing wrong with it. Here I'll play it. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. See?

That's not a fiddle sound. There's something definitely wrong with it. No, no. Here, look at it. I'll hold it back here. I'll hold it back here. You string a fiddle. Here, look, I'll show you all three sides.

There's one side, there's one side, there's the cut. And that's all three sides. Can I tell you something devil? I gotta be honest with you. Okay. You don don't have a fiddle you have a ukulele Come on I mean there's no come on Well, you gotta say I get to write a song about it You can write a song about me having a ukulele. I am famed songwriter Bob Dylan

I'm Kevin and Yuki Laley. I am famed songwriter Bob Dylan. I'm seeing that. All right Bob, all right Bob, you've got the studio, you've got the studio for another 20 minutes. You said there was one more. I thought you wanted to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to do one sort of not in the voice, you know what I mean?

Oh, oh please. Yeah. Famously, people don't love your voice. So I know. You just go crazy, please. Yeah. We're gonna beat you up back here Bob. Oh something funky dirty south for sure Some punk I'm doing this one not in the voice man. All right here we go The devil took me down to his land. He had a you go layley in his hand

He said he'd give me some short pants. I said Caprice. He said no chance. Just kidding. He gave me short pants. Now the devil has my shoes. The devil has my shoes. The devil has my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes. But you gotta get them from the devil. We love it, keep it going. Aaron, this is Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter is gonna come in here as well. This is a collab track. This is for charity.

Of course. Aaron, whatever you're ready. I didn't bring a fly while somebody did. The girl walked in. The one I'm crushing and the kids filled juice on my mom's new cushion. It turned around another one broke a lamp I hope that was inexpensive. He got that from France, but now I won't sweat

Yeah, we're gonna need a brand new song. Oh shit The only one I would I don't want to make it that there's all I want here I don't want to be hyperbolic. I would pay $35 to hear Bob Dylan cover I beat check to hear Bob Dylan cover Ibeat Check. That's what these out of work musicians should do. They should just cover stuff weird and sell it on their own website for a high dollar. A hundred percent. You get a thousand dollars to pay you, thousand people to get pay $30. It's no, it's no less weird than the world's most famous Jewish musician putting out a Christmas

album. No less weird. Yeah, that's true. Thank you so much for loose pants that don't go all the way to the bottom. Definitely my favorite description of the phrase I've ever heard. Absolutely. Want to do a couple more of these?

Wait, please. Yes, please. OK, I am Justice and Charging. Justice and Charging. Law. Law, law. Justice and charging. Long, long, long. Justice is blind. Justice is money.

Oh, so charging like a bowl, and there's a character named Bull and Night Court, is that what they're going for? Yeah, Adel. It's bull. You got it. It's bull and bull, Adel. Justice?

The hint is, I am also a type of boat without the final letter. A type of boat without the final letter. A type of boat without the... That might not be helpful. John just got ghost. I'm trying to think of all the types of boats I know. So, same with that. Let's list all the boats without the final letter.

So there's a tie, yeah? Try, re. Cana? A-yah. So there's a kaya try re canna a yeah Boa I Maybe if you're going to mothas vineyard with your family for the summer you would take yeah No, that's fancy your poor Okay, you're going to an island and your poor and it's a boat. Very fair. Yeah. Oh, fair. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair. Fair.

I am candy and apartment. Candy and apartment. Candy and apartment. I live there. Job breaker. Job breaker. Bank Baker. Brick. Brick up Brent job and a part of the job breaker bank breaker at all Excellent I have to talk through it. I have to apartment in candy. I am candy and apartment Is this a specific brand of candy? Or like a okay flat flat. Oh, it's a sweet sweet. Yeah And of candy or like a okay flat flat. Oh, it's a sweet sweet. Yeah sweet sweet sweet Close on that one

John guess nothing which was not the answer, not even close to the answer. Weird. I am strong and clammy. Aaron stop describing yourself and do more riddles. I'm sorry, I have such clammy hands. That's true. My hands, anytime someone's about to touch my hand, or I think they're about to, my hands get so sweaty, but otherwise they're very soft. No one will know.

I'm clammy, hear me. I am strong and clammy. Mollusk, Mollus. I'm strong. My hands just got so sweaty, just talking about it. The human body is amazing. So, clammy is like wet, damp, cold, damp, strong, and moist, moist.

I'm clammy, but not sweaty or cold. Clammy, but not sweaty, not cold. Shell. Is this like clammy? Shell doesn't like a clam, yeah, a chowder. Yeah, it's chowder, chowder. No, like what's a, what are they called? They're animals that are sort of fish and they're in shells.

Shrimp shrimp. Moms shrimp shells. There's like a certain, like the phylum of it. Sea or sea or sea. Crustaceans. Crustaceans. Yeah, but it's like a specific kind. It maybe you have it with some like a wine sauce.

Oh shrimp shrimp. Crab. Lobster. Lengosteen. Lengosteen. Crab. Scabie. Muscle, muscle. Scabie. Muscle. Oh, shrimp shrimp crap lobster Lengosteen Lengosteen crab Skatebee Muscle muscle

Muscle So clammy was in the sense of like icy clam and my Little Missly clam is I want to see I want to see a scene It's almost a clan. A little misleading. A clan is. It was cute to find. I want to see a scene. JPC, you are welcoming your first ever guest.

You are a strong man, like a former body builder, who has opened up a gym slash seafood restaurant, called Muscle Muscles. And you've got a while without anybody coming through that door and you finally have your first guest And let's have John be that first guest. Oh Hello, welcome welcome. Oh, hey man. Let's go on on table table for one You got you got a bench or can I just do can I just do bench and then you? Yeah, you do bench side service or you can do bench, yeah.

Leg there, arm there. Well, I wanna do bench, so I think it's Chess Day, really, Chess and Arms. I'll have to talk to the chef. We only prepare it for leg and we can do chest. We can do chest. Yeah, I mean, that'd be great. I mean, I could do leg there.

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, No, no, no, bench, I crushed my legs yesterday,. I mean I could I could do leg day I No, no, no bench. I crushed my legs yesterday dude is all I'm sick So I don't know if I could do another one, but I'd love just a yeah, I'd love bench side I'm so sorry to hear about your legs No, I like there. Well Thank you. Yeah, they're very bad. They look awful. Were you were you If I may ask were you free solo climbing? I did do legs only free solo yesterday and

It's hard it's hard work It didn't I got up about only like 35 feet but a fall from 35 feet is still pretty intense Well, of course you'll make yes, yeah, and so I'm working with, you know, compressed joints on, and a ripped ACM. Would you like me to carry you to the bench? No, I can use the crutches. I'm getting pretty good on them. Okay. So yeah, I'm going to head to the bench and then yeah, I guess out of the gate, I'll definitely get a water and a little polymer.

Uh, two drinks. Yeah, yeah, I got a hydrate because I'm worried about, you know, uh, do you, uh, dude, you're bringing an empty cup? Oh, I got my shaker bottle here. I guess you could just use this. Yes, we watched it out. We'll watch it out. cup. Oh I got my shaker bottle here. I guess you could use this Yes, we wash it out. We'll wash it out. Yeah, and I could you use a tablespoon of this way protein as well Throw that in the Arnold Palmer way way Yeah, and then do you guys do like free bread sticks or anything like that or like a salad? Oh something like that none of the food at the restaurant is free Salad something like that none of the food at the restaurant is free

I thought it would you would pay you could pay for the meal in the yeah, okay. Yeah, so it's not included in my membership That I already paid $200. Oh my god, you are a member. Yeah, man. I did it online. I did online. I did online. Okay. I'll look you up I'll let's name Marvin I'll look you up. That's not um Mark Marvin Okay, that seems It seems like you had to take a little while to come up with that I don't ever sign up for stuff online with my real name because I don't want people being able to track me All right, okay, we don't have it. Marvin. You may have used your real name. How long ago? This is shit. No, I didn't use my real name. I use another fake one

Okay, so it's either Marvin or it's awesome exclamation point okay 22 and Explicit 22 yeah, I'm not getting is it possibly you spelled awesome wrong? You know what I might have left out the E okay, eight the first Oh, so you got the last there we go awesome awesome. Yeah, out the first e exlamation point 22 Hi table for one, please Oh, he will be the table for one you are eating at the rest of us. What are you are you a member?

Uh, no, I just walked by and it looks really Strange in here. I thought I might pop in would you like to Share a bench with This awesome a man's right here Lex Is it's a sad story that is not a polite question either to ask so sorry sorry. Sorry. I was just walking by I'm Chris Martin Did I hear someone say the word yellow you have been banned from this restaurant for life Chris Martin. Did I hear someone say the word yellow? You have been banned from this restaurant for life, Chris Martin. Oh, you are filthy, man.

I'm pretty sure nobody did say yellow. See. Oh, man. How did someone free sell a little climb with just their legs? You got to lean up. You got to lean up. Yeah, it's a black belt. It's a black belt. Yeah, it's a black belt.

It's a black belt. Yeah. Okay, cool. I just didn't understand the physics. Last name. Marvin. Well, thank you so much, Jack, after those, there's way more. So I'll come back to them later.

Thank you, Jack. Jack Mackie. Yeah. Thank you, Jack. Thank you so much to John and Ryan for doing the podcast for coming back on. I have to say, and this is no shade to your previous guesting spot. I have to say you guys were, I'd say 100% more correct in answering riddles this time around.

I, I, for me for sure. I have no idea how this happened. I was coming on expecting to really lag behind, but I feel like this maybe these types of hominem is a cheat code for me or something. Well, John, I would like to throw this out. Before we started recording, you were having some internet issues and you were getting very angry, furious even. Do you think that maybe you have some sort of hulk strength, but for riddles where your theory propels you to do better at riddles? Yeah, like I get smarter the more angry.

And like so it's kind of opposite. Reversal. I turn more into Bruce Banner the angry I get. Don't make me calm. You wouldn't like me when I'm calm. Um, I am telling these scores, Ryan, you've won. So I'm going to send you a pizza covered in John's Great great great. No, I need to supply them or what

I said the guy he'll be there. Oh, there's a guy out there, but John you have to supply some plugs Is there anything you want to plug? I will say I will say we did have a Drew and Dan on very recently for an episode and they didn't have anything to plug so if you have something We really regret having them on because they didn't plug anything it was a big misunderstanding But we would love to have you guys plug something. Oh, we'd love to plug something. plug it up John Yeah, if you're listening to this then I believe currently You can go to www.biggrandaywebsite.com where you can purchase two new podcasts from us, a longer form, sort of hour long podcast, that's a sort of teacher's lounge S type thing and then another podcast that is sort of little microdoses of Big Grande Improv.

So yeah, you can go to the website and you can get both of those right now started. They're going to be coming out over the course of the next few weeks, but you can get them right now. And now that we have the other website, there's going to be a kinds of fun stuff on there. Yeah, we're hoping that BigGroundA website.com is sort of a hub you could say for BigGroundA content,

whether it be video, podcast, merchandise, all those kind of the animations, you know, stocks. It's, you heard her first folks, news know, stocks. It's. I'm not your first folks news on the website, but just slowly from your feet up and then you yes, slowly from the feed up. Um, but yeah, so go to www.biggrondaywebsite.com right now.

And by the two, can we say the names of the shows, Ryan? Is that a thing or sure? Why not? Yeah, one of the shows is going to be called last resort. And the other one is called exit 42. Yeah. Last resort is about four guys who run a resort hotel restaurant. And they're not very good at it. They're not very good at it.

And then exit 42 is a bunch of sort of a series of scenes that I'll take place at businesses and locations, the same exit on the highway. So you can get both of those right now. It's cool to say that out loud that there's a way. And I will say that the four guys of Big Ronde so graciously gave us promo code so that we could listen to all of those episodes

and they are fantastic. And this is not something that I'm spragging on by guests right now. This is something that really did happen. And if you DM me about it, I will swear that it happened. Yeah. Yeah.

That's fantastic. It's been a lot of fun making them. Yeah, we're excited for everyone to hear them and excited to have a new place to put stuff. Yeah, that's phenomenal. Can't wait for that. And listeners, I can't imagine people have not heard us talk about teachers lounge, but if you haven't listened

to teachers lounge, in my opinion, the most underrated comedic podcast of all time. So please listen to that. Oh, okay. And also check out man now dog pod. If you have not listened to that, which is Ryan and Dan. Oh, and I guess I could also plug. I do podcast on Twitch, a live podcast every Tuesday night at seven PM, uh, called

how you been with Brett DeMott right over the show. Yeah, there's, there's a sign hanging. Yeah, I host it directly from where I'm sitting right now. Uh, and it's, it's basically a, what the, what the fuck with Mark Marin, if Mark Marin was a nobody from, uh, Pennsylvania, and he could only get his friends to be his guest. Ryan was the first guest on the show. You can go and see. Gotta check out the first episode.

I think they've all gotten worse and send. What do you think? I'd say quality wise, definitely, viewership wise, definitely. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm cruise into zero concurrent. No, I work kidding. Of course, John is building an empire over there. No, I work. I didn't. Of course. John is building an empire over there.

He's a hilarious house with hilarious guests. You've seen all his guests. They're all great. That's very kind. Fantastic. Thank you both so much for coming on. Thanks for having us. Thank you guys.

What a joy. Truly such a blast. Really? You guys are such wonderful people. And it's so nice to see your faces again. Well, I say this in awesome. It's an honor. I say this with all all sincerity and I would say to your faces you guys are the tallest people I've ever met So sweet you know

I'm gonna send you a pizza and it's gonna be also weird Also, also, Tiver Tiver is only like like 5'10. Yeah, that's true. He's normal. Well when we met you guys in person, it really was just like... Yeah, I was even wearing a basketball jersey I think when we were in the middle of it. I was like a pissed-inser. I think collectively, yeah, mass-wise, mass and sort of group height wise. We were probably the tallest group of four men

who do things together. And comedy wise, four absolute giants of the genre. Ooh, you guys are sweet. You're tall and humor. I hadn't Googled you guys when I had been listening to Teachers Lounge for a few months, the first time I met you. And I was shocked.

I was like, oh my god, they're all tall. They didn't all have any tall. You guys sound like angry tiny guys. Yeah. Yeah. I was honestly shocked that Dan was not like, just the 64 year old guy in your improv group. I was very shocked.

Every day I am. I think it was a bad move not getting a 65 week. Honestly. And I was just pissed someone who was stealing my voice. Oh no. Who is that, is that Howard Levis? I can't tell who you are presenting to me. Oh my god, how is this here? J.P.C. anything to plug?

Uh, no. Oh, and I mentioned it on the show yesterday, but our editor and fantastic human being Casey Tony's computer died and he had a buy a new one with money that he didn't exactly have. So Casey is a full-time freelance editor and his computer is basically his everything. So if you like the stuff that Casey makes and you have the means to help him out,

we are linking a GoFundMe in the show description for a new computer for Casey. Casey is a beautiful man, one of the kind of human beings on the planet, and it would be awesome if you could throw him a couple bucks. Again, that link is in the show description. Aaron, anything to plug? Nope. Yeah, I mean either. That works out. Oh, Addle, Addle, anything to plug. There's one specific beautiful celestial star of a planet even that I would like to plug. Aaron, fill in this gap. The most beautiful planet in the world is blank. Jupiter, goodbye, most beautiful planet in the world! Bye forever! created by M.O.E.S.R.D. Amos and M.O.E.N. Amos. Hey Pines and Cones, if you liked that you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We return to the classic game of small, medium, or large.

You can get that plus our entire Bat catalog by joining the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8 at patreon.com-haverdoverdall. See you there!