Hey Riddle Riddle - #125: The Brunch Bunch

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

Today's ep was recorded the earliest we've ever recorded! It was almost noon. So join the Brunch Bunch as they attempt to tackle some early-morning riddles. All that plus we've got an impromptu cleaning session, a wall that really ties the room together, two partners having a pretty bad day, a journey back to the land before time, a contentious family gathering, a couple in a tough spot and hell, maybe even a visit to our old friends in Riddle Court. Are we morning people? You decide! Happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Oh Whoo, hey, it's a little little huh. Yeah. Oh, yeah Energy yeah, oh! Energy. Yeah, it's you. Oh my god. Oh, boy. Oh, man, hey, we're the riddle. Hey, this is a new episode of Hey, We're the Riddle. This is the earliest we've ever recorded. Ah, they're gonna know, yeah, you have to say it.

They're gonna know. I'm Dr. Mournings. I'm Grandpa Mid afternoon. And I'm Erin napping. Mm-hmm. And this is a real first just for everyone listening to this. Now I know a lot of people tend to listen as soon as it comes out and it comes out at midnight central time or one o'clock central time. But this is the earliest we have ever recorded.

Now, I want you to think about what you think that means in your mind because it is 11.30. It is 11.30 in the morning. Yeah. Some of us have been up four hours and some of us have been up four mere minutes, mere moments, we've been awake. I got a 10 to 15 minutes ago. It was like, can you guys call me to make sure I'm awake?

Oh yeah. I was truly embarrassed where I text and I'm like, Hey, this is a little embarrassing. I'm an adult, but we're all friends here. Can someone please call me to make sure I'm up? I was reading a recording on 1130 in the morning. Like your dad is like, look, the plane leaves at 615 am. So we're out of bed at 5.

We're in the cart, 525. That's way too late to leave. You're playing with me at 650. Okay. You're calling me an airport dad. I didn't know that. Yeah, Adel, your airport dad, this. Aw, thank you.

All right, kids, are your bags packed? Does anybody have to pee? Last chance. I pee in my bag. I have a question. So obviously I have like a specific memory of that, but do you guys have memories of childhood or adulthood waking up super early for a thing?

Oh yeah. Oh absolutely. I remember doing in high school I did speech in the bait, and we would often have to leave on the bus for a meet at like 6.45. And that's actually when I started drinking like cappuccinos and anything with caffeine. I was just like, I don't know if this works,

but I've seen adults on TV do it and someone to try this. But that was hell. Mornings are hell. Hell is other people and mornings. Thank you Garfield. So I never wanted to be on the NBC. What is that? Good morning America. Yeah. For me, I've wanted to be on the, on the NBC, what is that? Good morning America.

Yeah. For me, I've talked about this on the show before, but I had zero period, which was like the period before, first period in high school. And so you'd have to wake up so early, and I regularly remember, like knowing that I only had,

I could have had like five minutes to take a shower. Like, and that was gonna wake me up, and regularly falling asleep in the shower, standing up. Well, and then my brother, regularly, falling asleep in the shower, standing up. Well, and then my brother, like, knock you in the door, like, we gotta go. And I'm like, I'm awake. Let's do this.

I love school. I love school. I love marching band. Let's get on it. I think what we put kids through physically in terms of their schedule is his absolute batch, insane. It's crazy. I would just be like a 15 year old girl

walking into school early for a music group, like an all girl choir. It's like six in the morning. I'm walking with my math binder trying to study on the way into school with my snow boots sobbing, openly crying, not caring who's seeing me cry. Just sobbing with girls and snow boot sobbing over a math binder. I would also like to say what I put kids nowadays through

physically with my obstacle courses, I should be stopped. That someone, the law, they should be a law against me, making kids go through that hard way. So my mother's not going to hire you. I'm gonna need you to say that monster every morning. GVC, I think it's on them. They have to find those flags. Yeah, they have to find it.

Well, otherwise, they don't get to play my little game. And if you don't play my little game, you can't win and you certainly won survive. And you're Mark Winters. You guys, I ate so many chips last night and now my face is puffy. And no one's allowed to make eye contact with me until the end of the episode, okay?

Why did chips make your face puffy? Is this the salt? I said puffy. Is your face puffy? Well, I have like a rash on my neck and my face is super puffy from the salt, so. Aaron, is your face puffy? Here, here girl.

Is it your head? Wait, half a dog. Is it your happy, happy, happy, happy dog. I'm just a happy hat. Sit face. Eh? Eat it. Eating a chip that makes your face puppy sounds like some Harry Potter shit. That's like a Polyjuice Pokemon.

Oh my God. They would sell that at the, whatever that joke shop was in Hogwarts. It's like a Polyjuice Pop-Word or Polyjuice Potato Chips. The joke shop. Cervantes, is right. Isn't that Don Cajute? Apologies, Apologies Popcord or Apologies Potato Chips. Did you know a surfant has this, right? Isn't that Don Cahote?

Yeah, they would go into like the pet shop next door, take a bunch of hair and then put it in the candy. Mm-hmm. Part of this is Pops. And that's what happens. This is what happens when we record too early. Yeah, that's true. We absolutely fuck ourselves over.

We start doing a Harry Potter fanfic. We talk about Puffy Puffie potato phases We're gonna move on, but I have to I just have to declare it. I could never be a farmer. I don't know at all. One look at the way that you dress by by screams. This guy could should would and needs to be a farmer. I could be like a night farmer, but I went to school. Oh my God. I went to grade school, high school, and college with people who are like farmer farmers.

And they'd be like sitting in class, and they'd be like, hey, I've been up since four. I had to like, you know, kiss the chickens or whatever they do. Yeah. And I'm just like, what is your life that you are able to get up this early in function and be like physically active.

Adel, I have an image in my head, your farmer, it's like five in the morning, you're wearing your glasses, but still squinting, if you're milking a cow with one hand, just like when your heart really isn't in it. Milking a cow with one hand, ooh, trick shot. I have an image of Adel in this AU where he's the night farmer,

where people are like, you heard about the Refi farm? Oh, yeah, the night farmer has it going well his farm is bankrupt. He fucking immediately trips as he was walking through his fields. He stepped on a rake and died and nothing grew You're like, I got to figure it out. I'll just farm it all at night That's gonna be my superhero character, night farmer. I just kill crops. Oh, no, that's terrible. Yeah, you're getting way more hurt

than all the other farmers. I will say, we're now that we're moving into, I guess this is our first episode of December and until, I think until Happy Birthday. I think you, until the 21st of December, which is my brother's birthday, that's the shortest day of the year. The sun is setting now at like four 20,

or four 19 or something, which is fucking bonkers to me. But it's because of daylight savings time. Otherwise, it would be setting at five. I would much rather have a little light at the end of the day than the light at the beginning of the day. I fucking hate daylight savings time. And it's archaic, it's just for farmers. And there's like six farmers left

and they're all named Monsanto. We didn't mean to come out as such anti-farmer people. No, farmers, we love you, bum bum bum bum bum bum. My great grandma was a farmer, it's all good. No, there are no farmers anymore, I just can't be clear. It's all, it's one company, it's one company that rinses you seeds.

And then when your farm fails to like up Tough fucks tough fucks fuck knuckle and then Disaster get getting paid not to grow. What are you Olympic gymnasts? It's like we were not anti-ghost on this podcast. There are no ghosts. It doesn't matter JPC it sounds like what you want is not daylight savings It sounds like what you want my man is daylight checkings All your sunshine you're gonna say all your sunshine, you're gonna take that out of your savings

and put it in your checking account. Does that make sense? I want a high yield daylight savings account. Oh. Oh. Love risk. All right, that's all. I would hold it up the sun.

I want to hold it up the sun. I don't hold my, I don't hold my, I don't hold my, I don't hold my, but on December 20th, simply, it's gonna be good, good, good, good, you sure to stay say the year. I am a dayside pissed. A little bit of a dude.

What, are you Winston Churchill? I can't do this. I can't, it turns out I can't do this before 4 p.m. Before the, before the window passes, can I just say, I think JPC, you said, high yield. Can we just say that the night farmers catch phrase is yield? Trips on a plow yield So who's a fuck who's our thing? I am the thing today. I'll be I'll be early morning puddles today

And I'm the best I'm the best equipped that it Can we just at this point does insert episode so like three or four here and then we will know. Well, we are going to do some riddle submissions from fans that sent us a riddle submissions back in like 2018 today. So we are essentially doing things from, you know, the very early episodes. So what you're saying is essentially we're t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- Adults track, speed it up like 1.5. It'll throw the whole podcast at a line, but it'll make Adults out of really energetic. I just don't understand, Casey, it's 2020. There has to be an energy button.

Just make it, plug and work. Make it so. Make it so, so, that's what my catchphrases if I'm Captain Picard. Make it so, so. So this is a riddle that is coming to us from David. I believe that this is an original riddle that David is submitting.

Oh, I'm sorry. This is from a book of riddles that David purchased, and this is their favorite riddle from the book. So. That changed course pretty quick. From a original to store bought. It's wild because in 2018, I don't think we were getting a ton of original

reticles because we weren't asking for them yet, but this is one, you know, that I've never heard before. So I think that that in my mind, it qualifies as original just because we've heard everything at least three times now. Here we go. With 12 eggs on order, the cook sat and thought, one at a time if I like it or not. With three in the freezer and three in the pot, three in each hand, neither too cold nor hot. The first two were airy, so he remembers. The last two both burnt up and ended in embers. Um, sorry.

The question is. Quick power nap. The question is, I'll take him over easy. Nope, nope. You want him over easy. No, no You want 12 over easy eggs you fucking monster. I'm a rocky You are you are to get a dive potassium I'm an Olympic swimmer and I need all the egg. Do you just say limbic? Olympic My name is my name is egg luge nis and I'm an Olympic swimmer. I truly, I truly, what I threw out, let's just do,

can everybody do 11? I thought, I thought, this is just gonna be a normal recording. I had no concept that everyone's brains were gonna be on belt. Guys, it must be early if nobody left it, my egg Luganus joke. I, I said wow. I went a step past laughter.

Don't worry, we're gonna get hundreds of comments of, how could you guys have not given egg lougatis? No, no, no. We'll get thousands of comments saying, I had to Google egg lougatis, who is this? So, so the question is, what are the eggs? With 12 eggs on order, the cook satin thought, one at a time if I like it or not,

with three in the freezer and three in the pot, three in each hand, neither too cold nor hot. The first two were airy, so he remembers the last two both burnt up and ended in imbers. What are the eggs? Dragon eggs? If you end up in imbers, they must be dragon eggs. No, that is a, well, it's not really a good guess,

but it is a guess, I will say. Which I have to say, before Skyrim, Dragon Egg was a really great PS4 game. Oh yeah, I love the Elder Scrolls game Dragon Egg Legends. Yeah. Are they the eggs that you can find in a uterus? No, they're not human eggs and I should say when I say what are the eggs? Like eggs are in quote because the eggs aren't actual eggs. The eggs are a metaphor for something else.

Okay, guys, can you believe that I have eggs? Aaron yes. That's me just all the time. Spuckin' weird, right? That's wild. It is true, guys. What the fuck, that's crazy. It kind of grows, but kind of awesome.

It's the strongest case that we have for women being lizard people. No, that's not the strongest case we have. We people are like, Hillary's emails. We people are like, Hillary's a lizard people. No, that's not the strongest case we have. Hillary's a lizard person. I'm like, well, you're not wrong. There is one piece of evidence. She's always laying on that rock.

Oh my God, you guys, I would be such a good lizard. If you ever decide to adopt me as one of your pets listeners, I want a lizard habitat. Just like a nice heat lamp, give me a rock. Give you a little terrarium? Yeah, I need a little terrarium. I don't think I'd be a very good lizard. I just don't, I don't like, you know what?

I do like laying in the sun. That is very nice. If I go to the beach or like a pool or something, I'd barely get in the water, just put me out in the sun. Although I do have to say, if you're a lizard, they don't call it laying in the sun. They call it basking. Can you handle that?

Yeah, I think I would. I would mind that. I would mind that. Basking makes me think of ice cream. So I'd be like basking good robins. Basking makes me for whatever reason, think of when you sell tickets outside of a game. Scalping, busking?

Mm-hmm. It's a combo of all this things. All right, the eggs are metaphor for baseballs. I love the idea of like, do you want these two quart-side tickets? They're $800 a piece. And then also, can I have some spear change? It's like, wait a second.

You have $600 in tickets. Why are you busking? Well, busking, busking is like, wait a second. You have $600 in tickets. Why are you busking? Well, busking, busking is like, hey you, come and see the show. Like get in here, get in here to see the show. I thought busking was like, if someone has like a guitar case open and they're playing a song, hoping for spare change, or they're performing

some sort of act for money on the street, right? I thought that was busking, but busking is like, like come on, come on. Did you ever have to busk, like outside of an improv show to like get people on the street to come inside? No, but it is 20 in the 2010. So I did busk online. I did a lot of come on, come on, come on,

please come to my improv show. It's just wet bus performing for wet buzz every week. If we loved having an audience member too. I can't remember what the show was at IO, but there were like four people in the audience and they're like, look, we're not gonna do the show unless there's five people. And then someone was like,

does anyone wanna go out on the street and wriggle a veil and be like, come and see the show? And everyone was like, no, I think I'd rather die. I think I'd rather just like die than do that. Come on, come on, it's also my equal opportunity porn. So there's something about eggs, there's two in the freezer. That should just be porn. Why is it that it has to be a special kind of porn

for everyone to come, huh? Unbelievable. Aaron, I don't make the rules. Well, wait, first of all, I just break them, baby. I put on lipstick I found by my computer and now I'm confident again. So welcome back everyone. I'm back.

I got to say that I'm angry. This is poor, not everyone can come. Some people have to mic just hold the boot bike. Some people just have to hold the boot bike. Okay, they can't buy it to say. No, but I want to put. No, you can bust on your own time Janine your craft services we're gonna need you not to come today

it's actually Janine it's actually vital that you don't come people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels people are depending on these bagels Oh God. Oh. I think it's blackout.

It's a bad show. We'll let it most of this show out. I'm going to need a new crew. Okay. The porn and make it is too good. And my sets are a mess. It's too good. We have to solve at least one riddle. I can't breathe out.

How am I supposed to solve what egg's are? Okay. So yeah. The eggs are a metaphor for something else. I will say there are the important parts here, there are 12 of them. With 12 eggs on order, the cook satin thought. One at a time, I like it or not. So there can only be one of these at a time. Yeah, baby. I like it. Oh, not. I like it. No, it's not. Chess, I, I, I, I, I, I like this, I like this, or I like this clue for the riddle. The last two both burnt up and ended in embers. And because I think if you I can identify what these 12 things are, that might be one of

the easiest ways to identify it. So I'm thinking of things. I'm thinking of things that come in 12s. Yes. And the only thing I can think of are eggs. And then Steve Martin's children in the movies. Cheaper by the dozen. Yeah. Aim into that. Okay. No, you know, there's, there's, there's another very famous thing that comes in 12s. Oh, okay. That is sorted by 12s, no. What comes in 12? So, don't ask. So, you.

Months, Aaron, yes. Oh. I didn't say that they did it. They did it. The answer is the 12 months come one at a time. There are three winter months that are cold and three summer months that are hot and three that are in between mild

or six that are in between. The first two months in an airy, January and February, first two are airy, and the last two in an in-bur, November, December. Can you believe I got that? So here's the reason that's a basic error. If I can just make an excuse for myself. Yes, everyone gets one.

I've lived in Chicago since like 2000, five maybe? I brag you. So, 11 of my eggs are frozen. And then one is like chili. It's not here, it's not here the day before Halloween, so you have fuck off that riddle No, but thank you so much for sending it This next one. Yeah, I really like that one. This next one comes from

Robin and Robin puts Her name in parentheses as Susie. Remember what we used to do that. Oh, yeah. I see what's good on here a riddle about eggs A riddle about robins. This is all morning riddles. Yes. Hi, seriously. Hi, seriously. Next one will be about coffee. The next one is submitted from coffee. Yes, this one is from Robin.

Now, Robin submitted several riddles and unfortunately we have done a few of them. So we are only gonna do the one that Robin submitted that we haven't done. And this is kind of in the framing of a who done it. Also, when Robyn submitted these and her email said, some Ridley's and Puzzles. So this was early on, I think it was the show.

Oh, the minute. Oh, yeah, really. Come up with Ridley's and Puzzies yet. A woman. Okay, go ahead. Oh, I'm sorry, so this is a whoies yet. A woman. Okay, go ahead. Oh, I'm sorry, so this is a who-dead. A woman finds out that there has been a fire in her home. The fire was put out extremely quickly

and causes only minimal damage. However, once the woman hears about the situation, she becomes furious. Why is she so angry? Someone lit her favorite candle. The fire was a match. It's a that is a good guess. No, it was an actual house fire This is a house fire that was not in the fireplace. Nope. It was not in the fireplace. It was it was a house fire But she was furious so she was furious when she heard about how quickly it was put out specifically. She had hired someone to burn down her house Oh really that's a really good guess Aaron. That's a really good guess

But the answer to this one is it is not it is not that let's assume for the answer to this that the fire was unintentional and was just like a you know a house fire that started because of whatever the a house fire that started because of whatever the stover. He was, he was sounding awfully familiar coming from you. Let's just say that it was unintentional and I, there's no one to hire for business. Let's just say I'm sorry. Here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, there's pending litigation.

So I can't say more about this rental. Here's the answer. The woman was David Byrne. She was, he was recording the song, burning down the house. He, he put it out too soon because and he wasn't happy with how it sounded. Yeah, she was recording the song, burning down the house. He put it out too soon because he wasn't happy with how it sounded. Yeah, he put out the album too soon.

He wasn't happy with the mix. It was David Burns. His sound engineer forgot to hit the energy button. He sounded horrible. I love that. I love that answer for you, but I got to say, if I can give you some advice, stop making sense. That's also what a busker says.

How much did you make? $47? How much did you make? $4? Stop making sense. All right. Here's a hint. Nobody was hurt. She's not angry for any reasons about like insurance or anything like that. And the fire was indeed caused accidentally.

Those are all hints that Robin provides. Was it Mrs. Doubtfire? Oh no! And she was getting hot flashes? No, not this time. If you used her favorite, they used her favorite curtains to put out the fire. No.

So here's the thing, the fire was put out extremely quickly and only caused minimal damage. And once she hears about that, she becomes furious. So I guess the operative thing here is that why would someone be furious that an unintentional house fire was put out so quickly? Hmm, boy. That mean someone was in her house or?

Year on the right track, I think, with someone in her house, yes. Like, it got called so quickly because someone was breaking in and they called. All right, what does he see? I want to see a seat. I try to slow down so the scene wouldn't happen. Oh, yeah, we do see some of this.

We do see this here. Aaron, here's what's going to happen. You are breaking into a house. You're breaking into Adles house to, you know, to, you know, to, to steal whatever's in the house. Upon breaking in, you realize that like, it's messy in here, it's like not clean, the organization's all off, so you're describing my house. Yep, so you decide to clean the house,

and you're going to be waking up in the next morning while the burglar is still clean at your house. That doesn't sound like me. You, I am in. Fuck, what the fuck? Ew. Um, okay, I guess I don't just buy his every book. Does he even fucking read these?

Jesus. Oh my god, there's a global pandemic, why does he have so many board games? Oh, they're all unopened. Oh god, this is so fucking... Hey, what's going on here? Why are you shuffling through my coasters? I, you're dreaming. I'm not here.

Put down my 500-page coasters. Oh, God. Wait, I'm dreaming? Are you the ghost of something, something? You don't recognize me, I'm Darren. Talk. What do I say to that? No, nothing.

Um, in your dream, I organize and give away some of your... The things that you've bought. Oh, okay. Um, well... Do you really need all this chante fae and art? Why do you dress like a skunk at live shows? I'll throw this in the garbage. I guess because they don't make badger costumes

that aren't Wisconsin mascots. God, do you need 11,000 teaky drink cookbooks? Well, they're not cookbooks there. Yeah, well, you have the regular, like, what is it called? What's a cookbook for drinks? It's my dream. Shouldn't I know this? Shouldn't all the characters in my dream know what I know? No

Wait, I'm not dreaming am I you are if you are dreaming could I do this? You're just clapping your hands your hands. Okay. Oh, but to a beat. Did you eat chips last night? I did. I'm can you tell I'm puffy in my face? Yeah. Yeah. Your face is puffy. I'm gonna go back to the house. Sure. I'm not your cell. I have to go to do a scene. I did not get what I asked for. Nice that feels good to do some character work early on. Okay, but you still have not solved this riddle. It is not something. It's not to start redecorating. I think this would be an accent wall.

All right, who? I am a world. What is it, JBC? I think I give up. I want to see a scene. Sorry, I want to see a scene. This is going to be a quick scene. Aaron, you're painting your house and you come across a accent wall, which of course is a wall with an accent played by JPC and he's just trying to talk you out of being painted.

All right, I have eggshell white by Benjamin Moore and goodbye, weird green accent wall. What are you doing with that paint? and goodbye weird green accent wall everywhere well what are you doing with that paint? oh Jesus oh my god what the hell exactly exactly wrong what the hell

what are you doing with that paint? I'm gonna paint the wall it's gonna be weird you're gonna do I am proud they're the wall you are not going to be painting me eggshell-what. Who are the people who lived here before me? This is the weirdest paint choice. It's not even like a cool green color.

They did not have a choice. It doesn't matter who they are. I chose what kind of accent wall I would be. And if you were to ruin me by painting me a whole eggshell- egg shell white you are known my wrath Alright, okay great here I go. No, please please please I beg of you spare me this one injustice in the world I'm what will you do for me? What's in the world? What do I do for you? I don't know. I mean fuck what do I gonna? I can fight I can impress people at parties I can oh come on now, I could have done, well well well. Look what we got here. Oh my god, I think I'm in a fall in love with my wall. See?

I would love an exit wall if it actually developed an exit based on what it was painted. Green is French. Okay, you guys both give up for the answer for this reddle. Is the fire something that happens anyway like every day? Like is this type of fire happening in my house every once in a while? No, no, no, this is not a regular fire. This is indeed a house fire.

And if you are having regular house fires in your house, it's maybe time to call a... Exterminator? Yeah, exterminator. A fire extroverted there. Extinguisher, sorry. Is this, is the house like a doll house and she's like recreating,

like a horror movie or something? I like that. It is not a doll house. It is a real house that this woman is living it. Is the woman Carrie? No. No. Sorry, Carrie Bradshaw. Oh yes, it is not a dollhouse it is a real house that this woman is living it is the woman carry now i can't read shot oh yes it is it's carry yet she's living in a house in the fire is an std now you guys you guys want the answer uh... yes

so the woman is a suspected member of a criminal organization and her house was being watched by the police the fire was put out so quickly because an officer who was watching the place saw it and took action. When the woman learns that she's angry as now she knows she's under suspicion and that an officer is watching her home. Okay fine I'll allow it. DPC, Adel, I would like to see a scene. You are two people who are watching a house because you're suspicious of the criminal activity that could be happening in it. You are two people who are watching a house

because you're suspicious of the criminal activity that could be happening in it. Ah, boy, I hate these stickouts, huh? Yeah, these things suck. I hate eating these old cheeseburgers in these cold fries. I'm eating a warm burger and warm fries. Why'd you specifically ask the restaurant for cold burgers and fries?

Honestly because I hate what I'm doing and I don't want to associate this thing that I hate doing with good food because then Part of it will be ruined for me But if I can always associate this with like umpleds and experience. That's why I've got these pliers right here And I'm just pulling out leg hair As we do this because I'm gonna associate this terrible experience with all of the terrible experience. I'm actually calling, I'm texting right now,

you see with the other hand, old high school girlfriends, and I'm just texting them like, I miss you when I was wrong. Yeah, so it's like a negative connotation that you wanna formulate. It's like a reverse, not reverse, but it's like a hellish Pavlovian Experiment you're I'm getting flooded with negative sensory experiences right now, and it's completely ruining all of the things that are going I'm about to oh there's a bee in here. You get out of here bee lower the windows effect

Here, okay there goes the bee there goes the bee. Oh, you know what I'm getting it. I'm getting a I'm getting a phone call. Oh, I think let me just double check If I get a phone call I am getting a phone call. No, it's not a text of the phone call. I can give you one thing Hello, this is Brad. Oh, Brad. I got a text from someone said I still love you and I was like who is this but I'm sorry who Brad Brad Cooper Brad Cooper Brad Lee But I'm sorry, whoop, Brad. Brad Cooper. Brad Cooper. Brad Lee Cooper. Brad Lee Cooper. We went to high school together, we dated for four days.

We, what? What? What, please? You spit gum in my hair? I spit gum in a lot of people's area. You're going to have to be more specific. OK, Brad, it's Brad Cooper. Oh, I was a

Second string chess club. I did water aerobics in my free time Yeah, I can go but not the school plays the place that I would write for myself Okay, I was at a terrible date, but now I feel like it's not so bad. Bye. Have a good day. I love you forever Man the fact that she didn't remember me. Who is that? And also the house burn down. Oh my God. Well, that was Cheryl and the house burnt down, which is also a really negative experience for me.

So this day was kind of a success because it was so bad. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I'll pinch myself while masturbating. So, I'm gonna have to carve down, I'm gonna get out of the car now. I'm gonna get out of the car. Well, we're gonna do some more riddles, but first, Dr. Mourning's here and needs a little bit of an app. So I'm gonna take an app and we'll be right back with more... HMM! Hey GPC.

Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand.

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production

and inventory and shipping are handled for you, saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing.

No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content

on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, what's the website was for? Prank. With Squarespace. Yeah, with Prank.

You can connect to your store to Vedent Dirt Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey Aaron. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeline JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path.

You know, they're never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, they're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating

them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h e l p dot com slash riddle r i d d l e

r i d d l e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the I'm home. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor,

and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, Kling, Kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy, Kling, Kling, Kling. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and

also get alerted if anything looks off over three million, well, clink, clink, clink, over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink, stop. No, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money dot com slash riddle that's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. It'll be running, it'll be running, it'll be running.

It'll be running, it'll be running. It'll be running, it'll be running. Hey, Rick, go Rick, go Rick, go Rick, go Rick. Oh, yeah. Can you guys try and wake me up for the second half? Yeah, we'll try. Cuckoo, doodle, doodle. Shh, snooze, snooze, rooster.

Snooze, rooster. Snooze, rooster. You touched that rooster, it's cold. You just popped it on the head. Crazy. You just popped that rooster news news a rooster you touched that you just popped it on the head crazy pop it popped that was the head cook man just pop that rooster to death I was trying to snooze what was the um what what what rooster is Elvis what's what's Elvis rooster anybody you got you got a you got a fucking snap into it.

Guys, come on. No, no. You guys know what I'm talking about. What's Elvis rooster? What's Elvis rooster? What are you talking about? You just come on. Bullshit.

You guys have seen this movie. Elvis rooster. Movie? Movie? Yeah. I'm getting even more confused. Come on. What the fuck are you talking about?

Hold on. You called Elvis ro about? Hold on. Hold on. Animate animated movie. Rooster is out. Rooster is out. Are you talking about foghorn, leghorn? No.

I'm talking about chicken run. I know. There's movie Rooster, Elvis, shake hip, farm, un-farm. Rockabilly. This is the worst fucking shit in the series game that I've ever played. Ah. Rockadoodle-do. Rockadoodle-do.

Rockadoodle-do. I will never make you wake up before 2PM ever again. I don't think it's your 20s. 26? What the fuck is happening? Rockadoodle-do. Come on, that would have been jazzed, doodle-do. Everybody knows Elvis invented rock music. Uh-huh. That would have been jazzed, it'll do. Duh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh my god, Marty submitted riddles. JVC, we have to go back to 2018.

Here's the riddles. Marty, it's your cousin, Chuck. Here's the riddle. What fuels billions is home to many and dominates the earth. Easy showtime. Showtime. Showtime fuels the two show billions. Yes, showtime fuels billions is home to many great characters like Ray Donovan

and Dominates the earth with a 1% market share. People are watching. Bugs houses. Bugs, Aaron, I like that answer because there are a lot of bugs on the earth and I guess you could say that they dominate the earth but what what what are you we fuels billions what a bugs are used for fuel yes is it that's what bees do they bring fuel to the flowers wait is fuel is does America does the US have over a billion people know right it's like 450 million because if it was at all at all maybe thirty and it's definitely not over a billion well cuz i was going to say maybe it's donkin because you know america runs on donkin

yeah so i guess you take america is donkin does donkin exist in foreign countries as well cuz you could maybe get to a billion no well donk and don't here's the thing we got a lot of messages because we talked about donk and don't it's in a patreon episode and donk and don't it's another countries is pretty unrecognizable to what we have here, or they don't have it. Like when we read all the breakfast menu stuff, well you did on that episode, people in London were like,

what the hell are you talking about? There's what, where, and why? There's bagels there? They were very confused. And in Australia, Dunkin' is called Hungry Jacks That's insane and Canada. It's called Tim Hortons But no, it's it's not Duncan. I think McDonald's also it didn't make Donald's used to say like three billion served or something like that Wasn't that yeah, yes looking for a while, but no, it's it's not that. It's not a restaurant Okay, I was all I would also hate it if it was his home to many,

and it's like McDonald's is the answer. It's like, oh, that's, that's the person. So what Sean said once, remember I asked him what his favorite fast food was? And he like said like, when these are some shit? And I was like, Sean, what about McDonald's? Like you eat there a lot. And he was like, that doesn't count.

That's like eating at home. And I was like, Oh, no, no. Aaron got out of the house. Aaron got out of the house. I'm going. I'm you see him pack you up on my shirt. Well, I don't know how I have so many dolls. As you Aaron silhouette and lots of lines behind it. So you ran fast out of frame. Um,

home, was it serving billions? It fuels billions is home to many and dominates the earth. Oh, our solar system. Dinosaurs? Uh, it's not dinosaurs. Aaron, I like solar system and answer as an answer, because I like to imagine like, like the solar system dominating the earth. Like the sun's like, yeah, you orbit me, motherfucker.

Like you don't go anywhere, I don't say. Yeah. I have a scene idea. Okay. You two are dinosaurs, and you're sort of trying to decide what goes into a time capsule for the humans to find. Okay, the loss of raptor.

We need to figure out what goes into this time capsule. I'm gonna put some of my leafy greens that I pluck off of tree tops here. No, no, no. Brachiosaurus, don't you think that if you put those leafy greens in the time capsule, they're all gonna shrivel up and die by the time someone, let's call them the humans open the time capsule? Hmm, you might be right, let me. I'm gonna put one of my Raptor claws in the time capsule. So humans can use them as tools in the future. Ooh, it's not a bad idea, but don't you need that Raptor claw to hunt and scavenge?

Hmm, that's true. I guess I can't put one of my precious claws in the time capsule. I got it. I think I got it. Okay. Let's fucking got it. Okay. Let's fucking fart in this bitch. But, Braqueusaurus! A dinosaur fart is the grossest, most nasty, and hardly dangerous thing known to mankind. You would put a dinosaur fart in the time capsule, the humans would simply die when they opened it. They'll call it oil and use it.

Huh? Okay, hold on, pause. Wait, no. No, I'm gonna pause it. You can jump back in the second. All I'm gonna say is that this is not the first time I've watched you guys do an improv scene and it ended with one of them suggesting they fart in a box.

And unpause. Okay, okay, so we fart in the dive gap, so bury it. Let's just say thousands of feet under the ground. It turns into oil for many centuries. And then the humans use that oil to destroy the rest of the planet? Yes, that sounds right. So our evil dinosaur planet comes to fruition.

We'll wreck the environment for the humans and kill them all. Let's see, it'll only take probably... Yeah, it should take any more than that for 6,000 years of civilization for the humans to kill themselves, right? Hey guys, it's me, Crocodile. What do you guys up to? Nothing! Nothing! humans to kill themselves right hey guys it's me crocodile what do you guys up to nothing nothing yeah what you go back hang it out the water we're we're just hanging out up here okay if we're being honest crocodile we are going to fart into this type capsule buried out of the crowd and kill all the humans we would invite you to come and play but you don't I don't think I don't think

you fart yeah and also crocodile I just have to say you're not built to last you're so low to the ground your mouth is held shut with like half a pound of pressure like you won't be around much longer. Yeah you're not gonna survive very long crocodile. Couple things. First of all a girl's fart okay second of all. Nice tag girls girls' vote. Okay, okay. I'm learning. Hypothetically, if crocodiles stick around by some weird nightmare miracle, I'll call it. I don't want to have to deal with your fart nonsense for the next several thousand years.

Oh, come on. You know that seradactyl would be into it. Hey, ser Dacto. Take me back. Take me back. She flies off. Call me. Call me maybe. Okay, okay, so let's get this let's get this straight crack it out You think that you're gonna survive for you know as long as it takes for the humans to come about. Okay, if that happens, all fricking feathers out of my back lay a bunch of eggs and be, uh, just enslaved by all of the humans for all of existence. That'll happen. Oh my god, you accidentally manifested something. I'm walking away. I don't want to smell your farts.

Are you? It's- it's so slow, or it's really fast, but just a straight line. That one. Okay, okay. Are you it's so slow or it's really fast but you should a straight line that one okay okay Crack it out so fun. I love I just love the imagery of a crocodile saying girls fart So wait you guys so my Brother-in-law Mitch sent me a video of my niece Trying to not to your dearest to miss. To me, she knows all the animals now and she's pointing to them and there's a crocodile, but she can't quite get the word.

Can I just play you quickly? Aaron, she knows, sorry, she knows all the animals. Ready? That's how she said crocodile. So, like she said said chowder. Yep, here it one more time. She said teach out her. She got zebra.

She got Zumba and chowder. What strip mall are they at? That is a little bit tricky and uh, kick quite a bit. That's a hard word. That is absolutely adorable. Um, okay, so I don't necessarily know that you were close, but I guess maybe when the crocodile ran away at the end of the riddle, you were getting closer to the answer of this. What fuels billions is home to many and dominates the earth.

Water? Oceans? Water! Yes! I think the earth is like 75% water It fuels billions and is home to many of fishes and crocodiles. I would like to see what are all the elements? Wind fire heart water Land yes earth earth earth wind fire. Okay, so I want I want to see water Earth, Earth, Earth, wind fire. Earth, wind fire. I want to see water, JPC will be water. Adil, you can be whatever other element you want to be. And we're all at Thanksgiving dinner.

And water's just like so self-important and thinks that they're better than us. A toast, a toast, a toast, friends, a toast, friends, a toast to myself. Oh my God. Bringer of life, okay, my god. Bringer of life. Okay, come on, bringer of life, wetter of lips,

to here, to all of infinity, to 75% of the earth, total domination. I'd like to shout out this one out to water. Water, your toasting to yourself with a glass full of yourself, and I'm drinking it, and I'm gonna put it right back into myself. Ugh.

Ugh. Ugh. I may be wind in full of air, but even you are just insufferable. Wind, you're basically fart, and I will take this one, okay? Okay. Yeah, stay in your lane, Farts. All right, I guess I'll go next.

Yes, please. And since you said the tone, I guess I'll go next. Yes, please. And since you said the tone, I'll toast to me. To fire. Uh, may you burn anthropology candles and, um, uh, marshmallows. Marshmallows. Sorry, I'm getting water all over you. I'm sorry, but I'll the steam.

Wind that could be your domain. I'm actually a chemical fire. So water won't do anything You maybe need some sand some earth. Oh look who went to college? chemical fire. Oh my god The sexual tension between us is palpable. What do you think fire? I? Mean yeah, I'd watch it look it is we've tried it fire, you're a chemical fire on water, it does it work out. That's not what we asked, Farts.

Oh. I'd watch you, too. Yeah. Farts. Farts, that's not what we're doing here. That's not what we're doing here. I'm into it. Farts, Farts.

Let me just pull up a chair. No, Farts. All right, cut, cut. Sorry, everybody. We had to cut the sound guide just came. I'm so ready for this for. See, come for you come on. Wind is far. Wind is far. Thank you so much, Marty, for sending in that last red all. Alright, alright, you guys ready for the next one? Yeah. This one is one that we've never done on the show before,

and I would say that we probably have never done this on the show before because it's so fucking bad. Here we go. This one is from Jack. Jack, I don't know if I should thank you for sending this in, but I guess a courtesy dictates that I do, thank you for sending this in. A man tells his wife, he is going to buy two chocolate bars

for $2 each. He doesn't leave a tip and there are no taxes, but when he pays, it costs him $5. How is this possible? Candy, the candy bars were KitKats and each piece is $2. And of course we all know KitKats come and no wait, that's Twix, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I don't know how you're gonna make this work with two candy bars that cost wait, that's Twix, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. I don't know how you're gonna make this work with two candy bars that cause $2 and a Twix or a KitKat. Can you read it again? I feel like I'm missing a keyword in the beginning. You're probably not, but a man tells his wife he's gonna buy two chocolate bars for $2 each. He doesn't leave a tip, there are no taxes, and when it pays it costs him $5. How is this possible?

Here's a few things I've noticed. Aaron, thank you for having him reread that. One, nobody tells their wife they're going to go buy candy bars. That's a sociopath. You're like, oh, you're going to cheat on me. That's a sociopath, man. That was a periodic move. You're about to cheat. Honey, I'm going to be gone for three hours. I'm just buying two candy bars for $2 a piece. Why don't we just break up if you're going to cheat? What is it that American Psycho where I'm gonna go return some VHS tapes?

Oh, so that's, I haven't seen that moving forever. That's a dead indicator that he's not doing what he said he's doing. I also wanna point out, they shouldn't have to, it seems obvious that no one would tip for a candy bar. So why are they telling us he doesn't tip? Is that part of the clue that he doesn't tip for a candy bar?

Yeah, I guess it's just, because that could be your answer and be like, oh, well, he just tipped an extra buck, but it's not that. Oh shit. It's definitely tipped an extra buck. I have to run to several julaska's and make amends with the implicit.

That's why you're buying candy bars? Oh yeah. Well, I'll see you, he's buying groceries, Adolf. Yeah, no. There's nothing that're buying candy bars. Oh yeah. We're also going to use by like groceries at all. Yeah. No, there's nothing that makes me feel like more of a big shot when I buy a king size watch and McCall and say, keep the change, you filthy animal. My mom sent me a bunch of chocolate from the hang-em candy store that I loved so much growing

up for my birthday and it's been a goddamn delight. If you want to, because they'll send it all over the country, you should order from poppollos and hang them. Absolutely amazing fudge. And I'm not even a sweet person, but their candy is so good. I also have a poppolo when I was a kid, a stuffed animal. Is that a poppoll?

I have a question. If you go into like a CVS or like a 7-11 or something, and you give them five bucks for a candy bar and then you say like keep the change. Or you know, it's four something and you say keep the change. Doesn't that just knock their drawer off of their count for the rest of the day?

Like aren't they fucked now? Because you have to count down your drawer at the end of your shift. What do they do to you? Like, what do they do to this? Oh yeah. A lot of times that goes until like they take a penny, leave a penny thing.

Okay. And I know that some convenience stores in gas stations will use that for the cost of if someone walks in and they're homeless or they can't afford. They don't have enough cash for the gas. That's great. I think it goes to mostly good use. Also, I'm sure that sometimes employees will pocket the difference in the money and use it as a personal benefit. I'm trying to do it because I used to work

at a storage place and I would like, you'd have to count down your drawer and at the end of the day, and the fucking thing that was the worst is if you counted down your drawer and you were like $2 short or something because you're like, fuck, how am I gonna get this $2?

But I don't think I ever counted down my drawer and I was like, up some money. I think that also I would be stressed about that too because I'm like, I either forgot to fucking put something into the system or something where I'm gonna be like, fucked over by this. Can I do a quick PSA on how to not be an asshole, really quick?

Because this is a prop pack of memory. So I worked at Nordstrom for like years, different Nordstroms. And say we would like close at like 9 p.m. We would close at 9 p.m. If you decided to stay in shop past that time, every single person on that floor can't go home until you're done shopping,

because we're not allowed to open our registers to count the money when there's customers still in the store, because like, hypothetically, they could have just be waiting to steal money. So, but Nordstrom floors, like, especially in some of the bigger cities, are huge because there's so many different sections. Yeah, that makes sense. So, one, you're shopping and you're like, there's tons of other hours in the day, you

can shop online, you can come back, and you are, it would always be like one lady who's so entitled, and she would stay like an extra hour and a half and 20 employees are stuck on like I would miss improv shows sometimes because like they'd be like, weren't you supposed to get up work two hours ago and be like, this one rich lady is in here and she wants to try on every fucking coat in the store and I'm just sitting here. That's horrible. That sucks. I do know that from working in restaurants, if the, like, of restaurants, let's say it closes

at 10, around 9.30, if you go in the restaurant, that's when the food is the best. So if you really want to get the best possible food in a restaurant, go in 30 minutes before it closes. So smart. That's when you sit down and get a table. That's when the food is... Joosh! Is this spit in my food?

Yeah. I'm not. JPC, I might know the answer. Is it, is it something where, so the guy's buying two candy bars for $2 a piece, but he pays $5. Is it something where it's like an American man in England and like the conversion rate? That is a better answer. I think than what the answer to this is. Yes.

Okay. Well, he's paying like a different currency or something. Yeah. That is, that is a great answer, but it, than what the answer to this is. Yes, okay. He's paying like a different currency or something. That is a great answer, but it is not the correct answer to this. I don't know. I don't know. Can you give us a hint? The answer to this is so infuriating that I don't even know what hint I can give.

Is it like a joke answer? Or is I can give. Is it like a joke answer or is it like a, is it like a, he's already saw. No, it's, I kind of want to just let you guys know because and then we can maybe talk about why this is one of my least favorite types of riddles. But it's, here's the answer. The man only speaks in rounded numbers. The chocolate bars are actually 249.

So add it together, they'd be $498 or $5. So he's rounding down on the price of the chocolate bar and then paying up. But the idea that the man only speaks in rounded numbers is like, oh, this man's brain is broken. That's not a answer. If a candy bar is $2.49, then you would say it's $2 a half dollars or two fifty, right?

Like round up to fifty cents. Yeah, I feel nothing. Yeah, that is now. Now I'm to riddles. Dead, dead, stop. Dead, stop. That is, that's maybe the worst riddle we've had. Do we need to take this to riddle court? Is this from, yeah, we gotta go. Yeah, I guess we have to take this to Riddle Court? Is this from, yeah, we gotta go. Yeah, I guess we have to take this to Riddle Court, don't we? Boop-boop! All rise for Judge J.P.C. in Riddle Court! All rise, all rise, all rise!

Greetings, greetings, everyone! I apologize, it just came from a Halloween party. That's why I am dressed up like a serpent! I'm dressed up like a snake, win and taping it all down. Just to be clear, I did not go with the synographer to this Halloween party. We came from the same... It was the same street, but different Halloween parties we are in love. We are not in love. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Now if you want to address the elephant in the room you will speak directly to the bailiff who was at a Halloween party

I know it's an elephant a Halloween party on the same street, but a completely different Halloween party I am sexually speaking sexually speaking. I am completely bipartisan The defense attorney who doesn't really want to get to my part because there are there is no defense for this kind of riddle I would like to keep the focus on you the stenographer in the elephant that was dressed like a snake as well Your bailiff is an elephant sir But bailiff is a Babar-esque elephant creature who was dressed as a snake for a Halloween party on a separate as a snake for a Halloween party are a separate house on the same street that me and the stenographer who are in a sexual relation hold on.

No more questions, you're on. You're on. You're on. Go with a jail. End of court. End of court. Case closed. End of court.

Case closed. No, but here's what I will say. Jack, thank you for sending that in because it was awful, but we'd never had it before the show. So it technically checks all the boxes. Jack, let's take this outside. I'd like to fight you. Okay, here's this next one.

This one I really like. This one is from Sarah. Sarah sends in the following riddle. Two penguins are sitting in a canoe in the middle. Yeah, honestly, cute. K-E-W-T. Yeah. Two penguins are sitting in a canoe

in the middle of the desert. One turns the other and says, where's your paddle? The other penguin replies, sure does. The first penguin nods and turns back around. Why did the second penguin respond this way? Because he only speaks in rounded numbers. So the... Sarah and Jack are coordinated riddles.

Where's your pad? Where's your paddle? Is that what it was? Where's your paddle? Where's your paddle? It sure does. It sure does. It sure does.

Why did that penguin respond like that? Is it something where- Please dehydrate it and listen anything. I will also say, Sara ends this email by saying, Sara from Minnesota. So is that a clue? I don't know. Oh, lakes?

It's not a clue. It's not a clue. Sara is from Minnesota though. Okay. I like Minnesota. I've thought of it before. Minneapolis is the cleanest city I've ever been in. It's really fun.

I could eat off the streets. Um, let's see here. That's for Carlton colleges, right? Oh, the dance. The dance for the first prince. I think that's where it is. You might be thinking of West Philadelphia born in race. So two penguins are in a canoe in the desert. Is that right?

Yes. Two penguins are sitting in a canoe in the middle of the desert. One turns the other and says, where's your paddle? The other penguin replies, sure does. Is it something where it's like the first penguin has a list and he's saying there's your paddle but with no that penguin is definitely saying where's your paddle okay it's not it's not a list situation but at all that is a very that's a very good yes and you're it's like a adjacent to the answer like a Barbara Walters penguin

well yeah it's y'all paddle okay let's see it's adjacent. How about right before he says, where's your paddle? He goes, hey, with this piss you off if I said it, where's your paddle? Sure does. Sure does piss me off. The very first question the pig would ask is, what do you hear something that makes no fucking sense? Ah, that's a very good answer.

I love that answer. Today, it's not the correct answer. Okay, so the fact that one of them had maybe a list was adjacent to the correct answer. So it does have something to do with the speech pattern of the first penguin? Yeah, I guess maybe speech pattern. Yes, I would say that that is a good a good speech pattern. It has something to do with. Is it like a Yoda thing? His name, the penguin's name is where and he goes, where's your paddle? Uh, no, it does look like my paddle. Excellent. Excellent. Guess but no, the penguin's not in his wear. Um, I can give you guys a couple clues that might be helpful. Well, wait, are they both, are they both the day in Davita one?

No, these are not twanguins, so to speak. So and twanguins. The clue here is it does not matter that they are both penguins. It doesn't matter that they're penguins. The dashes are fun part to make us say cute. It does matter that they're penguins. The dashes are fun part to make us say cute. It does matter that they are in the desert. So penguin part don't matter. Desert part definitely does matter.

Sandy? Sandy? Yes. That part is definitely, like I said, it's definitely matter. I don't know. So is it like a mirage situation? They're sitting in a canoe in the middle of the desert. One turns to the other and says, where's your paddle?

The other penguin says, sure does. Sure does. Where's your paddle? Sure does. And why does the second penguin respond that way? Sure does. Where's your paddle? Tell us.

So, so, so, so, Adel was close with like, um, and Aaron was also close with like syntax or punctuation, uh, which, which, yes, maybe punctuation is a part to play, but I would say that, oh, what has more of a part to play is spelling. Where's your paddle? So is it, W-E-A-R-S?

Yes, absolutely. That is correct. It is where's your paddle because paddling through the desert, where's where? Where's that? Where, you paddle down. And the other penguin would say, sure does because, of course. Oh my god, fucking, oh my god. I want to see a scene. G.P.C. and Aaron, you are two penguins in the desert and you're obviously out of your element. You're used to being around ice and snow and water and the two of you are clearly losing your mind. Marilyn, can I be honest with you?

Yeah, what's up? You know how we mate for life. Yeah. I wish I had never fucking met you. Oh my god. I wish I had never fucking met you. Oh my God. I wish I had never fucking met you. You know what? You know what? Okay, so when I was in school growing up, all I heard was when you have babies, the male penguin will sit on the egg and will

take care of the baby and male penguins are good fathers. And I made the egg. One penguin who's the worst penguin father that ever did live just in my luck. Why are we here? You said there's gold in the desert. I said, what penguins? What are we doing with gold? And that's where we are. We're creating a future for our children

where they don't have to just get married to the penguin next to our own. Children hate us because we are Trump voters, Maryland. And suddenly you stumble over a time capsule that must have been there for thousands of years. Oh look gold. See I told you there's gold and I'm sure it smells great. Maryland I'm only gonna ask you what smell. I'm only gonna ask you what's did you beef it in the canoe? Did you beef it in the canoe? Did you beef it in the canoe?

I accuse you, Jacquoise! Jacquoise of you! You'll pay when buck! Of you, Penguin, I love you so much. I would, what would I do without you? I would make a million Penguin babies with you, even though you've been beaten up. I love you, but I love money even more, which is why I voted for Trump. Despite how shitty I know he is.

Oh, children do not talk to us. And I'm opening the box. See, at JBC, I have to say, I have to give credit where credit is due. That was the best Jerry Stiller impression I've ever heard. Oh, thank you so much. I also do think that Aaron and I maybe have done that seed together 300 times on the show.

We love it. We love being a contentious couple. If you can find the other examples of Aaron and I maybe have done that seed together 300 times on the show. We love it. We love being a good, tencious couple. If you can find the other examples of Aaron and I doing that same seed, please let us know. We'll put them together in the master cut, and that'll be our holiday episode. But speaking of episodes, we're at the end of today's episode.

Thank you so much to everyone that submitted those riddles back in 2018. Hey, and if you are one of the people who submitted one of those riddles back in 2018, you found it, and you listened to it, let us know because I would love, I would love, you respond back to that same email. I would love to know that you are still listening

and that we kept your attention for a hundred and some of the episodes. But this brings us to a very important part of the show and that's the part of the show where we talk about other stuff that we are doing that is not the show. Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Just follow me, Aaron, T10 on Instagram. I got some stuff that maybe you the show. Aaron, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Um, just follow me, Aaron, Tief10 on Instagram. I got some stuff that maybe you'd want to see, maybe not.

I don't know, but you can follow me and, um, yeah, follow me there, Adel. Um, yes, first thing I want to promote is sleep. Always important to sleep past noon, very, very important. Um, a few other things I want to mention are the three of us hosts. We're on a podcast, one of our favorite podcasts called Man Now Dog podcast with Dan Lippert and Ryan Rosenberg. Please check out our episode and all of their other episodes in their Patreon as it's one of our favorite podcasts. It's just fantastic. Are they free episodes as well for that show? So you don't have to be

a patron to listen, you can listen to their free episodes. Yeah, so check out the free ones, see how you like it, and then you're gonna wanna subscribe to the Patreon. I was also a guest on another one of my favorite podcasts called Here's the Situation with TJJG, I get asking Rush Howell, it's a lot of hypothetical questions, it's a fantastic show, so please check out my episode and all their other episodes. I was also a guest on Bloke Buster's podcast,

talking about Star Wars. If you're into those movies, please check that out. And then from Charlotte, GPC, CLT, your favorite city, I did a podcast as part of Queen City improv theater. That was called Bat Boys podcast where we do the improv form a bat. And it's all sort of an audio soundscape and a great time with those guys. So please check out all those podcasts. Very cool. If you want to find more stuff from me, you can follow me at Twitch at Shark Barkman. Hey, if you got any Amazon Prime and you really hate Jeff Bezos and you want to give me your Prime subscription for a month, come over to Twitch.tv slash Shark Barkman and give me a subscription and watch me play some video games. We have a lot

of fun over there. We have a little community going and brewing and brewing ha ha. And you can follow me on Twitter at JP SoFly. And that's kind of everything that I'm doing right now. So... JP, are you brewing people who support you on Twitter? Okay, you're in very funny enough. Time for the show that's enough to good times. Aaron, what did I say? I'm? I think JPC is murdering his

Ha ha Jupiter. Okay. Goodbye everybody in the show Casey in the show in the show in the show sleep forever Hey Arts and Crafts! If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We play Addles World Famous Game, World Famous. You can hear that plus our entire back catalog by joining the clue crew for $5 or the review crew for $8 at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See ya there! That was a HitGum podcast.