Hey Riddle Riddle - #126: Seven Seventeen

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

The Clue Crew is well-rested and full of holiday cheer! We even do some riddles in this episode. All that and a first date that takes an unexpected turn, a roadside attraction that allures and entices, a stroll through the historically accurate beginning of one of our greatest confectionaries, breakfast with a twist, and looking for love in all the wrong places. It must be #WiddleWednesday because this is an episode of a riddle podcast and it's coming out today!Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're riding on the same boat. And we're riding on the same boat. And we're riding on the same boat. But keep it your head, with the rhythm. Don't let it go. Millions of years ago, Riddles roamed the earth. Floreshing, eating other Ridddles, eating answers, eating each other.

And then one day, a podcast hit, destroying all riddles as we know it, submerging those riddles that did survive underground and turning them into riddle oil. And that kid's is why there are no more riddles. Does that make sense? Again, this is career day, so just... Yes, and I'm Adel's dad. I'm a riddle tall just, just like Ross on Friends. Oh, I thought he was just the worst. He's on a break. Okay, so do we have any questions for Adel's dad?

Who will not tell us his first name the riddle tologist? Do we have any questions for Adel's dad? The riddle tologist? I got one. I bet you you there back. I can take that out of dad I'm also a teacher. I'm a bit of a teacher. Is your job anything like being a firefighter because we're pretty excited to hear from the firefighter were pretty excited to hear from the firefighter. Um, I'm Aaron. Don't get me to hyped up. I'm Yafada. I'm wick. I'm a wick and firefighter. I'm bebecky. That outfit is very cool. Um, I can't compete with that outfit, but I, I do as a riddleologist, I probably save more lives per year than a firefighter. Um, yeah, just so you know, I just really want to do a sidebar for my dad's accent. Okay.

He's only ever lived underwater, and that's how he knows the Boston accent. Go bruvas on the water, baby, bruvet, bruvins. Go bruvins. I hear it now. Yes, the Boston Brewers, famously defunct. I have a question, I have a question for Adelstad, the

Ritalitologist. Yes, you there. What's your name? Where do you buy clothes that are just the front part of the clothes? Because I noticed that your clothes have no backs and I was just like, so, so. Well, I went to a TJ Max, which could have easily been

a Marshalls and they had a clothing half-offs. I would say that there's a, I typically, you are savvy. There's a difference between the two, but I'll let you carry on. No, I'll say that there's, I think it's literally, I'm sorry, I'm man is talking. It's dog beds.

The difference is dog beds. A dad is talking, please. Wait, they both have dog beds. They are, but only one has a good dog bed. They are indistinguishable. I dare you to tell me the difference between the marshals and a TJ max no one can All right, let's just hear from JPC's mom a different teacher

No, I am just JPC's mom. My job is talking about the difference between TJ max and marshals I guess I could talk or you could ask questions who has a question I have a question. How do you tell the difference? Yeah, sometimes they have the same bases or vases. That's where you start. In my experience, Marshalls is a little bit more fashion focused. They have a really strong relationship with a lot of clothing brands.

Oh, like for S4Lets. And, yeah, Jay Brandon, all these other clothing companies, because I just know that they get like a lot of overstock from things. And then TG Max is the same. Yeah, I got a question. Where could I get a wicked hot Dunka Chino? I can't apologize enough for my dad. I got one last question for the riddle guy.

Yes, me, riddle- Teologist. Are you poor? Well, time for me to band an adult. Adderify that is dead JPC. That's dark. I'm Aaron Keane. That's our, that's our best intro yet. That is our best. I feel like our int's are like fine wine, and that they age poorly with a screw top. If this is your first time listening to Hey Rittle Rittle, it's probably because I was chatting about it

at my birthday party, which was two days ago. And let's go. You know, max off two strangers. And I was telling you all about the podcast and then you came to check it out. So hello, goodbye. See you on your way. and then you came to check it out. So hello, goodbye. See you on your way.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your time on this Mary Earth. I can't wait. It's the end of the year. And that means our Hey, Riddler, Riddler fans are going to be making their top 10 lists. Top 10 favorite intros from the show. Top 10 times Addles gone. Top 10 JPC talking about piss. I can't wait for those top 10 lists.

All you little David Letterman's out there, send us your top 10 list. Hashtag, Hey Riddle, top 10. Yeah, I'll read them on the show. Making your lists, checking them twice, wondering what you've done with your life. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, there you go. No, no, no. Top 10. Okay, that's it. I just like that theme song, Casey. That's our top 10 theme song. I just like that sound.

Wait, what? You've said that before, but you said to put it before or after all porn. All right, whatever. Yeah. Do it after all porn. You know how many views we would get if our theme song played before porn? 69, 420. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, here I have something.

This is something I was going to say for 2021. Oh, thank God. We've just floudered for five minutes. That'll finally have something. Thank God. Well, I had something with the dad in a half close off, but we'll get to it later. So 69 and 420, very funny numbers.

Maybe the funniest numbers. Sure. And it's debatable, which order is better? How about the funniest numbers. Sure. And you know, it's debatable which order is better. Yes. Eight is funny. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight is very funny. Yeah. So 69 420 very, very funny numbers, but over time, less and less chuckles when I hear them, you know, so what I've discovered is that the time on the clock, 717 PM, remember this, PM, 17 PM. That is exactly 69,420 minutes into a day.

So from this point forward, starting in mid December, going into 2021 for the rest of time, when you see the time, 717, you must look at someone, get a big ol' chittity grin and just say riddle o'clock. Okay, JBC, we need to call Adelmore. Does that make sense? Or if you just say the number 717, that should be a new catch all for 69 for 20. Adel, what if you do today, we just, we just are doing a front members daily wellness checks for Adal just to make sure he's feeling okay.

And like, I'm, I woke up at 12 a.m. And then I just counted the seconds until it is 69. You know what, Adal, what we're gonna do for you for Christmas. We get, we get, we get you a journal, buddy, you can put some of those thoughts right in there. Take that thing with it's full luck, throw it into space.

That's trash. A big journal? No, no, no, no. We gotta get you, work it out, say you can throw a journal, and run into space. I wanna get so strong, I can toss my fucking journal into space.

Yeah. 17. I wanna go to our present trader and tell that's my workout goal. Well, Adela, it's going to be 17 while we record this episode. I wonder who we'll notice. Nice. It is Runele Clock Good or should we say something else?

Runele Clock is great. I'm also interested because Adela said 17, 17, PM. And I got to thinking, Adela is probably not seen 7, 17, 8, 8, and years. Maybe a 100%. 100% 100% What is it? It's way too late for you to have been staying up till. 17 a.m. in years. Maybe a 100 present. 100 present. What do you think? It's way too late for you to have been staying up till.

And there's no way that you're not asleep during that time. The first time I saw 11 a.m. was last week when we started early. I don't go grab a piece of paper. I want you to do your best guess of what sunrise looks like. Okay, all right. Okay, all right. So here we go.

Got a pen, got a paper, you got a man. See right out of the gate, you're using a pen to draw a sunrise. Their tongues are wrapped around each other's necks. Oh, I'm sorry. At a wheat with wings. We don't want you to describe it, we just write it down, toss it into the sun.

Okay, so it's just toss it as hard as you can. Hold on, let me open up my roof. Yeah. Yeah. How are Dean's great. All right, but we, Keid, we Josh, we jab, we jay. But this is a riddle podcast, and it is 100% incumbent upon us to do riddles on this podcast.

So, and that old glorious tradition, I will be acting as old man riddles for this episode. And I have some riddles that I think I'm gonna freaking absolutely not her socks rough. I would see, I can't wait. I would never stop. You know in gym class and middle school when you make it excuse for why you can't do it.

Is it a period thing? Yeah, I got my period. Can I sit in the corner and eat spicy Doritos while everyone else does this? It does some might. Wee! I grew up in the corner and eat spicy Doritos while everyone else does this? It does some might. I grew up in the Midwest and it does suck that our school, I think, all girls had first period. I think the school suggested that you have your first period at this time. It's funny. It is funny though. That's why we're getting you the journal.

We're getting to you, no. You know how stressful high school is funny though. It's funny. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It's funny. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It's funny. It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It's funny.

It is funny though. It's funny. It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though.

It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It is funny though. It is funny though. I guess it's funny. It is funny though. It is funny though. before the episode started. One, JPC, which was how you described 2020. Do you mind repeating that? I don't remember it.

You said 2020, where a year is weeks and weeks is a year, something like that. Well, I said the actual famous quote. We'll have Casey inserted at the beginning of the episode. So whatever audio you heard before this episode played, that's what JPC said. I believe it's there are years when weeks happen and weeks when years happen.

In 2020 was definitely a year where weeks happened, right? That's the one that it was. Yeah. Outstanding. And then Aaron mentioned that I don't know when this episode will come out. It's impossible to know. I think JPC said, but I don't listen December 16th.

Aaron said that that's the eight maids of milking day. Is that right Aaron? Do you want to? I didn't think anyone would hear me. I say so much hoping that no one will hear. That's 12 days of Christmas. I didn't know the 12 days. I guess it does make sense that the 12 days of Christmas

are, wait, no. What's nine? What's nine? Because it would be nine days before Christmas. Nine, eight maids of milking. Nine swans of swimming. 9 swans of swimming. The 7 swans of swimming. 9 Piper's Piper's. But then they get two friends. 9 Lords of Leaping.

10 Lords of Leaping. 12 drummers drumming. The only one I know and I fucking knock it out of the park every time. Hit us with the 5. 5 golden rings. The Olympics. 4, let's go. 3, let's go.. Or let's go three, let's go to let's go. I think Adela is obsessed with Let's Go, but I'm obsessed with reading Reynolds and the Reynolds that I'm reading today

are coming to us from some of our most loyal fans. And I say that because these are people that sent in emails in 2018, I can only assume that they're our most loyal still. And so that is what I'm going with. Okay, so this one is from Joel. Joel says that this is a stupid riddle that I thought of, that they thought of a long time ago,

and it would be perfect for the show. So here we go. Stupid riddle is like saying little shrimp. It's redundant. A man like shrimp. Jumbo shrimp. Go ahead. That's not actually more. A man was dead on the sidewalk outside of a bank.

In this pocket, he's a $5 bill, $4.1 bills, three quarters, but he has no obvious injuries. How did he die? He's dead. On the sidewalk, outside of a bank. Yeah. $5.5 bill. $5.5 bill. He's dead on the sidewalk outside of the bank. Yeah, five Like five dollar bill five dollar bill Four dollar bills three quarters

Is it something like a joke pun on 975? I don't think that any part of this is a joke pun on 975 Well, it must be a joke pun because this riddle doesn't make sense. Good night, everyone. Okay. That, that, that. Wow. He didn't even make it 717. He's going right to bed.

He's put on his old man. Do, do, do, do. It's raining. It's pouring, Cammy. Yeah, it's going to say it's the Christmas Carol like nightcap. I like cat. I like cat. Sorry, let me button the butt of my pajamas

Is it a night cap also like a drink before bed? Yes. Yeah. It's a hot taughty right before beds To the reason the reason the way the name is the reason they call that is because famously Older men of it of a certain generation would hide bottles of whiskey under their cap So they'd be like going to, snooze snooze, and then they wouldn't lay down. And the wife would be like, what's going on? And the guy would lift up the hat, and there'd be a bottle of whiskey and drink it.

And she's like, what is, I thought that was your nightcap? Did I tell you guys that back when I was dating, because I am in a relationship? Oh, you were on, broke up? Oh. No, well, yes, technically speaking, we have made it work because we still live together, and we've not been able to do it during lockdown.

Well, we can get into this later. But back when I was dating, I always used to carry one of those old, timey night caps in my pocket with me. And at the end of a date, a woman would say, do you wanna come up for a night cap? And I would say, no, you could just use this one. And then I would sprint off in the other direction

as hard as I could throwing the nightcap at them. And I thought it was so funny. And your first kiss was in 2019? Oh, I'm still pining for that. Oh, I'm pining. Ever so special. What Aaron, what musical is at the end of the day? At the end of the day.

That would be Laym is a date. Dude, Laym is a date would be a great early 2000s MTV show Where it's like you have the data cast member of lay miss and it's like as long as you can take it and then you The button to get out of the date. That's how much cash you make I told you I wanted to sit out of this episode. That's why I'm not funny I told you I wanted to sit out of this episode. That's why I'm not funny. I'm just, you know, waddle over to the pictures with my Doritos.

Laymissade has legs. I think Laymissade is brilliant. Laymissade. So $5. $5 bill. $4.1 bill. $3.4. So that's $9.75.

This is a human man. Human man. I have some hints. Would you have some hints? Hold on. I think I got it. If it's something to do, where you drop the bank and the die pack exploded so hard it like ruptured in Oregon?

No, sorry Adel, that is a really good guess, but it is not correct. They famously put die packs in quarters, right? Well, yeah, so when you get, when you have quarters, one of them is always chocolate and the chocolate quarter always has the die pack. That's why I'm not. Modern bank robbers have to wear die pack vests just in case.

Do you actually literally know why like old timey people used to like bite the coin before they would accept it? Because people tried to use chocolate coins. Because full school. No, because old timey human beings used to be able to eat coins. Shut up. shut up. Okay, he's dead because he money came by happiness. He's dead because he saw a ghost.

Two. He's dead because he, which put a curse on him and he was gonna die. He had $9.75. He's dead because the sidewalk is too slippery. Four. Yeah, the Shell Silverstein. The sidewalk ended.

That's why he died. He ran into the end of the sidewalk. Five. Give us a hint. And if we're Shell Silverstein, died penniless. Here are some hints. Did he rob the bank?

No. Was he murdered? No. Okay. How much money did he have just prior to this? A $10. He lost a quarter. He lost a quarter of his brain.

You're on the right track with he lost a quarter, but it didn't lose it. It's on purpose. He put a quarter in a death machine. He put maybe 10 minutes before he died. He put a quarter in a death machine. It's my favorite country song from the 60s. He was putting a parking meter car right over him.

He put a quarter in his, you're on the exact right track, but it wasn't a parking meter car right over him. He put a quarter in his, you're on the exact track, but it wasn't a parking meter. Okay, standing meter? No, and the thing that he put the quarter in, no, no, that's a really good guess. Directly caused his death. I know, he was putting a quarter, so this is Mr. McGoo.

He was putting a quarter in a venue machine for a can of soda. It turned out to be a dog's ass, and the dog turned around and ate him. He got crushed by a vending machine Hold on. He was putting a quarter in a vending machine to get a dog's ass. Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, it's K9. It's K9 and the vending machine. Good night everybody. Teamwork, teamwork makes the joke work. That's a far side. Putting the butt on my pajamas. That's a far side. That's a far side. You're putting the butt on my pajamas.

That's a far side calendar. We're just a guy standing in front of a vending machine with a dog's ass sticking out of it. And someone says, could you hit Kate on for me? What? What? This is my favorite episode we've ever done. I know. Why am I so happy?

What happened? You're closest with vending machine. Can you think of, I don't even know that you really see these much anymore, but what other machine would be like in the lobby of something that would take a quarter and could give you something? That we don't see anymore?

Is it like a newdy show? I used to see these in the lobbies of like restaurants all the time growing up. Like I remember this. No, no, no, no, I remember there was one at the Bob Evans by my house. They had one in the Noble Roman's pizza place.

Oh, I got a question. Is it one of those things that are at dues where you put a quarter and then it like stretches it out and then puts like an animal on it and then you get that? No, it's not one of those. Okay, then it's a two box. It's like a vending machine kind of, but it's for one specific thing and it is food.

Kind of food. Panties? Candy. He's there. Oh, gum ball machine. He choked on a gum ball. Bingo, bingo, hot-hot-tai, Aaron. That is absolutely correct.

He put a quarter in a gum ball machine. He frickin' choked his ass on a fucking gum ball. I would like to see a scene. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I think I got it. I think I better be. But we start talking at the same time.

Go ahead. So I want to see a scene. JPC, you are on, you and Aaron are on some sort of night out. And you are just the type of guy who as an adult would buy a gumball. I thought that movie was like super like the pacing was really off. Like I really loved a lot of the scenes, but like a movie as a whole was like pretty off. What did you think? Well, I mean, if I'm being honest, like I think I was so psyched about the casting of it because it's all star, but there was no chemistry.

And I was like, ah, like what? How do you book that? Yeah. So yeah, so like how did it compare, do you think? Honestly, it was almost exactly like the book, but if I'm being honest, I think that Ready Player 2 is gonna be even better. I cannot wait. I think Ernest Klein is a fucking genius.

And the excerpts that have come out are like, oh, mind blowing, how does he do it? He's gonna. Sorry to interrupt you. Are you cool just like walking a little bit longer down the pier? Oh yeah. Such a lovely night. I feel like I, I don't want to end just yet.

I know it is such a lovely night. And how about we make this night a little, lovely, or I'm a spontaneous guy. Oh, crank, crank, crank. That's a good one. Hold on, hold on. Okay. Oh, I don't really want to crank, crank, crank, crank, hold on. I got a red one. So that's a green one hold on hold on. Okay. Oh, I don't really want to crank crank hold on

I got a big old. That's a green one. These are like the size of my fist. I don't really yeah I'm throwing these in the ground don't pick these up. These are the bad ones. Oh a blue a blue for a lady Thanks, I'll like you fit. So we have a little oh no, no, no, no, no put it in your mouth here Here um, I'll show you I'll show you on me. I'll show you on me. I'm grabbing the back of my head. I'll show you on me It's great oh god. Oh god. No, you're ripping the corner of your mouth. It's fine. It's an old rent I'm re ripping no no it's good. I Was a little kid Jake's oh my god all your teeth breaking. Oh, it's okay. These are veneers. That's still horrible. That's even worse. Your teeth are so fragile. My uncle's a dentist. It's fine.

It's fine. Oh, you know, this tonight, this tonight is so wonderful. Um, maybe we make it a little more wonderful with a great, great, great. No, I really don't. A blue one for the lady? No, maybe I'll get a little sticker or one of those sticky hand things that you throw up against the wall. Oh, what? For like a fucking baby? Why would you do that? Well, you could have a gump wall.

Okay, I'll give it a shot. Okay, here you go. I grab the back of my hand. You're not going to want to put it in others. You got to grab the back of your own head. Uh-huh. Oh. Yeah.

It's really good. Oh yeah, it's good. Hey everyone, this is Adal. Um, just a heads up. I won't be ending this scene. So you want to go back to my place and get real weird. Sure. The rest of the episode will be this scene and this scene only.

My uncle's a dentist. Seed. Oh my uncle's a dentist. Ha ha ha ha ha. I used to be obsessed with buying those sticky hands at malls. Anywhere there's a movie theater. I would buy or gumball machine.

I would buy this hand. Sticky hands throwing at your sister. You can use them. They're fun for 20 minutes and then they collect so much junk on them like lints and hair and debris, they're unusable. And then you put them in your wallet and you find them six years later, you know, what even is this? I love those like gumball machines that were just full of like M&Ms or Pina M&Ms and you would like put the thing in

and then twist the dial in the quarter, the quarter. Yeah, you twist the dial, they all come out, and then you have to put your finger into the thing to fish the rest of them out, and just the number of people's fingers, fishing like, Emmett, Lou, Simon, and that, it's like the worst way to buy a fucking Emmett in. It's by COVID nightmare.

ProPoint, Pete, Zaria, had one of those, and hang them, growing up. I doubt they still have those machines, but I would walk in there, and I'd have like three quarters and I would put both my hands out and get like skittles, M&Ms and then like probably one other thing and then just walk home.

Like this and eat it from my hand like a dog. And I'm like, I'm a kid and everything's fun. I'm a kid. Same machine but happy Joe's pizza and QAnne Illinois. Happy Joe's home of the taco pizza Oh, if you're in hang-em I haven't had it in about 15 years, but they make a excellent buffalo chicken calzone that I would have in every sleepover Which would make me fart at every sleepover

You know everybody So Joel, thank you so much for that riddle Joel says I would love to hear you guys make fun or try to solve this thanks to the laughs D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D- a bell hold on hold on I'm sorry now fuck I didn't want to do this but legally we all have to do an impression of Bob Dylan coming okay here we go okay and you go first okay wait that means you're not gonna go no Oh It feels pretty good Oh And go it come Okay, and we are at a time for that So unfortunately, we're all Nothing 20s, it's all ready

This is my vampire Blue Okay, I'll try mine. Mm-hmm. We can put it all together with one head. Ugh. No. Yay!

One head like. You're singing as Bob Dylan's come. A bell hop working at a hotel is pushing a luggage cart down the hall to a residence room. As he passes by room 420, he hears a woman's voice loudly cry, please, Kevin, don't shoot, followed by, bam, a loud gunshot. Oh, you know what, hold on, guys, let me take this one again. I was gonna change some of the details from Dylan's reading.

Yep. A bell hop. So we have to redo the Bob Dylan Cumbus. Unfortunately, that's going to be a big part of it. So yeah, we will, we, that one is lost too. In case you just so you know, that one is lost. No. No, no, please.

A bell hop working at a hotel is pushing a luggage cart down the hall to a residence room. As he passes by room 420, or let's change it to room 717, as he passes by room 420 or let's change it to room. What is it? 1717. As he passes by room 717, it won't matter for the answer to the reddle. He hears a man's voice loud to cry out, please, Kevin, don't shoot, followed by a large loud gunshot acting on instinct. The bell hop kicks in the door to find four people in the room. On the right, there is a man lying dead with a bullet in his head. In the middle of the room is a gun, still smoking. On the left.

You can't smoke inside, sir. But gun, can you please, sir, can you please put down the cigarette? You can't smoke in here. This is a non-smoking wing of the hotel. On the left, there are three people, a lawyer, a photographer, and a mailman. The bell hop immediately understands

what has happened here and makes the citizens arrest. He calls the police who arrived quickly and hauled the shooter to jail. How was the bell hop able to deduce who the murderer wasn't such a short time and without asking any questions? So you said a lawyer, a photographer, and a mailman. Lawyer photographer and a mailman.

So Carl Malone, a mailman, is the mailman. So that was a basketball reference from what year did Carl Malone play? 1974? 1978. So a mailman, a lawyer and a photographer. Wait, what did he say before he shot? So the bell hops passing by room 717. Here's a man's voice cry out, please, Kevin lawyer in a photographer. Wait, what did he say before he shot?

So the bell hops passing by room 717. Here's a man's voice cry out, please, Kevin, don't shoot, followed by a loud gun shot. Rushes in, finds the lawyer, the photographer, the mailman immediately knows who the culprit is. They ship that motherfucker off. Is it because the mailman have a name tag that says like, my name is Kevin? Oh, I'm so glad. Well hold on

No, that would be great Thanks no one has a name tag. Okay. Well, um, what if because the photographer and the mailman are both holding something That the lawyer. It's the lawyer Uh, what would the photographer be holding? A big ol' camera. And what would the male man be holding? A big ol' armful. And what do you think the lawyer would,

so the lawyer doesn't hold anything? No, it's briefcase. It's still in the office. No, the lawyer holds all of our lives in the palm of their hand. Nice. I don't know. It is not anything that is related to what is in their hands.

Please Kevin, don't shoot. So does it have to do with the occupation of the fourth person lying dead on the floor? No, the fourth person lying dead, as always, as with every victim, is not important. I wouldn't say if it's like a dead dog. We don't mean that. It's joking. It is not a dead dog, it is a human person that has died. Okay.

And every life is precious. But the real crux of this is how the bell hop knew immediately who the person was. And who the person is you mean Kevin? Do they have like, sit on their hand or like they were just yelling, the way they were posing? It's not the way that they're all,

you know, they're in their poses that would be fit their trade. So the mailman is reaching into the bag, pulling out letters. The photographer is snapping a shot and the lawyer is, oh, catching a fucking check, yeah. I got no idea.

The most stressful part of murder is picking your pose right after. Oh yeah. Your post? Your post murder pose. Now I play a lot of online video games and I would say that the most common post murder pose is a crouch stand up, crouch stand up, crouch stand up, crouch stand up, right over their corpse.

Now we call that tea bagging in the halo community. And it is generally frowned upon. I will say if you ever go to England, we're doing it wrong because what it should be is you crouch down, then you sit there for about three minutes. Steep. And then you pull it up. Steep. Steep.

If you dip, you're not getting any flavor in my man. No. Okay. Okay. He just knows. A bell hops intuition. Why do they call him bell hops? He's the one who brought bags to everyone's room, so he knows who brought the gun bag. No, he doesn't.

He's never seen these people the good bag. He's never seen these people. He has no information at all. I think they call them bell hops because when you ring that little bell, they hop to it. That's what I was going to say. That's what I was going to take a guess at. No, the whole bell hops because famously for 40 years, it was mostly employed by bunnies. I asked, but then I had a, I had a follow up. Um, so let's see. So, um, the bell hop is, he didn't have like a black light on him or something. Uh, Jason Darulo, Miami-Dade reporter, I have a question, I have a follow-up question, which is the

answer to that question. No, he had no previous knowledge of anything or anyone. Everything is right there from the reading of the riddle. Does the answer have to do with what someone's occupation entails? Not with their occupation entails, not exactly. They're out there. The answer, no, not their outfit, but the answer does have everything to do with the three occupations. Okay. I also, and this maybe goes nowhere. This is maybe a thread I shouldn't be pulling on.

You said the bullet is in their head. How do they know the bolts in their head? Exactly. That is a thread that goes nowhere. Okay. Okay. Wait. So what do you call your lawyer? Um, I guess Frank. Wait, it's a lawyer, a mailman, and what's the third one? A photographer. A photographer. Oh wait, is there a photograph of the murder? No, nothing like that. Okay, it's the photographer.

It is, Aaron, I can tell you right now it is not the photographer. Okay, it's the mailman. It's the lawyer. It is not the lawyer, and it is the mailman. Maybe that's the, that's the hint. No, no, no, it was a murder. And, and, and Kevin was right on the money.

Kevin got it right. I'm Kevin. The bell hop got it right. Yeah. You said it was the mailman? And it was the mailman, yeah. Was it Sunday? No.

Can I give you a little hint? Yes, please. Okay. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. The doctor was the mailman. Well, no, but yes, you've done the hint. What happened? The killer was the lawyer.

The doctor is the mother is the hint. Yeah. Oh, he's related to the other two are women. Aaron, Bingo Bingo has a tie. You gotta watch again. Women can be anything. Women can be Kevin. I learned today that women can be lawyers and photographers and murderers.

No. No. I'm powerful. No, the women were not the murderers there. The women did not murder. Women can be anything. That's the most interesting. The air exploding.

The air exploding. The opposite was. I've done it. The male man was the only man in the room. The lawyer of photographer, both females, the bell hop, her to, um, uh, the bell hop, her to the person say, no, Kevin don't shoot.

Uh, educated guest that Kevin was the male man and it turned out to be correct. Now, this would have been a pretty easy one to solve as well because the witness heard Thibsaid, Kevin don't shoot. There were also two more witnesses of the room and only one of them was presumably named Kevin. There can be female identifying people named Kevin.

So, there's a moot point riddle, your moot. There's a moment where I was like, oh, maybe male woman, yeah, yeah. But again, that was a thread that seemed to go nowhere. Well, but that, but again, that was a thread that seemed to go nowhere. Well, but that, but that adult was not a thread that seemed to go nowhere. That was the thread that directly led to the answer

to the riddle. The one that you pulled, that's the U-Pold was a nowhere thread. That was a long way. And he was talking about that Dino De Lewis fashion movie. Oh my God, the nowhere thread. Well, well, well, folks, it is 7 is 17, which means red all o'clock. We're going to take a quick break.

We're going to six and I'm in smoke up and we'll be right back with more. It's 713. No, Aaron, add four. It's 713. At time of recording, it is literally 713, but it is also time for a break. No, no, no, hold on, then we'll wait for 7.17. I thought to, I thought to, you know, adjust time slightly so we could have a fun ad intro,

but you know what, now we're gonna sit here for four minutes and we're gonna think about what it means to be supportive because apparently, my co-host, no one will let me have this. It's still 7.13. You literally, I know, I'm my co-host. No one will let me have this. It's still 7-13. You literally, I know, I'm stalling for time. Will you literally set it some point? It's a four minutes of this.

Yeah, yeah. You literally set it some point. 7-17 is going to happen while we're recording. I thought to fudge time a little bit. I thought why not? You know, will fudge time slightly, we'll say it's 7-17. It literally will happen while we're recording.

I know. It's 7-14 now. I know, yes, I know. Now, as a Ritalologist and Adolfad, I want to tell everyone that, Stalling for Time, excuse me, I have a cough. Stalling for Time is not, it's easy as you would think. Because time moves very slow.

I have 14. I can actually, okay, I see. I have more riddles. I can't read more riddles. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now, why did they call them bell hops? Because when you ding a bell, they hop too. But why do they call? I promise it's really short. It's an easy one.

OK. So this is coming from Rob. A man without eyes sees lines on a tree. He neither takes lines nor leaves lines. How can this be? If you don't have a riddle, don't make one up. Hey, I didn't make it up, Rob. It's still 714.

A man without eyes sees lines on a tree. He neither takes lines nor leaves lines. How can this be? The man is fake. The man is the character in a book. The lines are braille. No, they're not. They're real lines. They're real lines on the tree because he doesn't have eyes, so there's their limbs on the tree. It's 715. No, no, no, it's not. They he's a man without eyes. That is true. Okay. But he does see lines on a tree, that is true. He neither takes lines nor leaves lines,

how can this be? How can a man without eyes see lines on a tree? That's a great question. If you can get that part of the riddle, I think that you're gonna have a really easy time with the second part. Oh, I got it, he's lying. He's not lying.

He's not limzing, he has, is a man with that eyes. He has Lyme disease. I don't think so. And if he does, it's not important for the riddle. And it's a fucked-up coincidence because I was his riddle about lives. How is it still 750? I'm not a time, doctor. Um, okay, give us more hints. 716. Well, I mean, so every, every part part of this riddle is in the phrasing of it. So I think that, well, how can a man without eyes see something? That's the question. Memories.

Memories. No, that's a really good answer. That's a good answer. Like, thinking about, no. He's not like feeling it. He's visually seeing it. He's dreaming it. He's visually seeing it.

Oh, because he has one eye. Adel, that is correct. So you're halfway there. So this is a man with that eyes sees limes on a tree. So he does a man with one eye sees limes on a tree. He neither takes limes nor leaves limes. How can this be? How can he neither take nor leave them?

Yes, he does. Because he just sees them. The man is Cyclops, Scott Summers. And what he does is he blasts them with his optic visor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. His blind zone grow on trees. Whoa. Oh.

I'm just, everyone else can make jokes. I'm the only one not alive. We have to let a single person make a joke because of this episode. Women can be anything. Okay, I don't know. Women can also be 717. 717. Because it is 717. 717.

Because it is 717. Riddler o'clock, we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back with more ribbons. Let me be your eight, rick, rick, Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a website to prank him.

Okay. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand,

Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engaged with your audience. And so anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here, come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand,

design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay. Um, wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too.

Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. The website is 4. Prank. Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website.

Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Vattle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back She's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adel and JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually, so as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help.

Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm. Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods.

Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire

to get matched with a license therapist, and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Mmm, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down.

Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. R-I-D-D-L-E, the middle of riddles of D, but there is no true middle of riddle r-i-d-d-l-e r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the L.A.P.C. hoping at home

by M.H.O.M who are we? what is this? uh... uh... clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world.

And that is the app rocket money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much, especially around tax season.

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, uh, sorry, I also wanna give a toast. Rock and Money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't wanna pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rock and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clint, Clint, Clint. Mm hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off over three million. Oh, Clint, Clint, Clint,

over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets, stop. Stop, clink, clink, stop. No, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rocket money.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle.

Rock at money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. I'm going to go and go and go and go. I'm going to go and go and go and go. Hey, Rick, go, Rick, go.

Oh, man. And we're back. Hey, it's still 717. That's a little of inside magic on how podcasts get made. Wait, we say we take a break. We don't actually take a break. I think a little mental snooze. What's with these lines?

So you got the first part, because the first part revolves around that like, I doesn't have eyes has eye. So he needs to take slimes, nor leaves, limes. How can he be? He only took one lime. He take one lime and leaves one lime. So you always have to pick fruit off of every tree that you see fruit on.

Well, if you're following the song you do, you take the lime of the tree and you only have one eye. You take the lime of the tree and you only have one eye, you take the lime of the tree and you only have one eye. I have a tree with me in my life to have a lemon tree in my backyard. You won't know what I did last night because I couldn't sleep because I wasn't feeling good. What is it? I looked at Zillow houses in Hawaii for two hours. That's a fun thing to do. I think I can afford to live in the middle of nowhere

in a one bedroom condo. If anyone would like to join me, I'll be leaving in an hour. Eric, I'd tell you something. If a realtor tries to sell you a one bedroom condo in the middle of nowhere, they are going to murder you. Uh-huh. But she... I nowhere, they are going to murder you.

Aaron, I know someone that would love to join you. And that is Adel in this scene. So we're going to see a scene. Adel, you have a lime tree. And you're, you're, you're on the side of the road and you're by your lime tree. There are two limes on your lime tree. Aaron, you are walking down the road. And Adel, you're going to see if this, this stranger to you would like to split or share one of the lines from your tree. Hello there friend. Huh? Hi.

How are you doing good morning? Good. I'm just doing my power walk. Nice getting those arms working huh? Pumping some lines. What a sad tree. Oh, why so? It looks like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree but for fruit. Oh, it's so sad.

Well, it's not sad. What's sad is that I don't have someone to split these limes with. Do you? These look like sick limes. Like, these limes are unwell. Where do you grow these? I grow them right here. On the side of the road?

Yes, they grew out of this table. Wait, are you? You're watering it with pineapple juice? I can see a watering can in a bunch of empty bottles of pineapple juice. Whoops, I'm not there's no fool in you. My name is Philip Sprite. Oh. And I'm testing out a new product that are Limes grown from pineapple juice. Now, typically I just take one lime and I squeeze it and that turns into Sprite. But I'm trying something fun and new. You know all those flavors of bubble gum with their tropical passions and their island passions?

I'm trying something new. Passion Sprite. Hypothetically, if I were to have one of your Limes, you don't just eat a lime like it's an apple. Should I do crunch? Oh, see how good this looks. You held the back of your head. It's okay, my uncle's like bentips. Skin and all, I love limes.

I'll have limes on anything, but these do not look smell or feel like limes. You'll have limes on anything? Well, how about on a beautiful morning? Okay, um, did you get fired? Yes. I... The shareholders of Sprite Incorporated ousted me. They said that my ideas were cookie.

They said my voice was outdated and they said that Sprite is moving in a different direction and that direction is upwards in terms of their stock, uh, prices. So I'm starting a new company it's gonna be called Dr. Sprite. I'm not really sure if anyone still has Sprite like maybe at McDonald's by accident. Sometimes I'm trying to make you feel better that they fired you. I'm just saying like I can't remember the last time I saw someone drinking a Sprite unless it's at McDonald's by accident. Well I think by, you mean if somebody orders the cactus jack meal.

Because the cactus jack meal was a sprite, a burger, I bleed with no pickles, and something else fries. Which is just a fucking meal, they don't need to put a name on it. If I'm gonna get a soda for McDonald's, it's gonna be a coke. Huh. Anyways, I'm more of a ginger ale gal myself, so I'm gonna keep walking. I could like what you said avocado. Wow, Aaron, I hate to do this, but I am gonna have to congratulate Adel for that scene, because that was the first time that Adel has ever done a scene as Dr. Camillean, where we didn't

immediately recognize that it was Dr. Camillean. So, my hat's off to you, Dr. Camillean, you did it, you found this guy, we didn't immediately recognize that it was Dr. Camillean. So, my hat's off to you, Dr. Camillean. You did it, you found this guy. We couldn't see through. Classic. Wow, Dr. Camillean. I can be. Anyone.

Six Dr. Camillean. All right, are you ready for this next one? This is a riddle submitted by a fan of the show. In a courtroom, the case of robbery gone wrong. The thief had been inside the house when the man who owned it unexpectedly came home. The thief had gone after the man with a knife, and when he was asked,

why did you stab him 38 times when you knew he was dead after the first blow? The murderer's answer was, I don't know. Murderers always seem to say, I don't know. Unless they say, I can't know. Mergers always seem to say, I don't know. Unless they say, I can't remember what happened. The man, what's your question? The man was Jeffrey Borden. Lizzie's no brother. Oh, now Lizzie of course gave her father 41 wax, but since this guy was younger, he gave 38. That's why there's 41 flavors that been in Robbins. I gotta say a scene. I want to do it. I can I see a scene.

I just called for one. You gotta go last time. You gotta go last time. So it's gotta be you too. I went last time because we talked at the same time. I clearly won this little. I promise you'll be happy. Okay. Uh, JPC, you are, uh, so and so Robin, whoever ends up running Basque and Robin, um, uh, Adel, you are Ben before you get replaced by Basque. Huh, we don't seem to be having a lot of, not a lot of customers off the street. What is wrong with Ben and Robbins? Ah! I, I, I, can I say this? Yeah, speak freely. So, this is hard for me to talk about.

Our business sucks. This is a terrible idea for a business. Huh? Why? And I've been cheating on you. Are you, are you? Hey, baby, come back to ice cream bed. Oh my God. Oh my God. You weren't supposed to come out.

Hold on. The person you're cheating on me with woke up got dressed. Yeah, got in their car. A trove over here. Sure. Open a door and start talking and said come back to bed. I don't know if you could say this is getting dressed. Our ice. Our...

Our bed is an ice cream cake and it's melt. This is it. I don't want to hear this. This is Baskin. This is Baskin and Baskin and I are together. And I know you've been cheating on me too. Uh... What's that now? I know you. I saw you with Jerry. Yeah. We just fucking Jerry guy. We saw you together. He's a sexy older man from Vermont. Okay, and he gets me right he loves puns

He I'm sure he has other stuff. He does, but I can't think of it right now and speaking of when I found you Robin you were fucking dick Grayson, okay, and your parents had died and you were sad I left the circus behind. I left Batman, I picked up an ice cream scoop. That's what's on my utility belt nowadays. How you fucking dare you. I'm gonna turn this business around. How's this blue ice cream?

What are you gonna do? Be better than us and have great social justice. Best pushing on the walls. You're not gonna turn this around. We have to talk about your ideas. We'll talk about blue ice cream later Best of ice cream sprinkles. Oh, it's gonna be so gross Basket is so fucking good. Look again. So hot. I will hear a lot of these ideas, but just no

Okay, I get it. Just get a gander at the looks. That's kind of the package We're good for the gander is good for the ice cream. Can I tell you both something? Can I tell you both something? You see this little skin tab at the top of my head? Uh, well guess what? Sorry, sorry. It's not a skin... Well, okay, now that's fair. It's not a skin tab, it's a zipper. Zip?

The two of you have been fooled again! Oh, Dr. Camillean. He's one of the co-op, Dr. Camillean! Dr. Camillean. And anyone... Wait a second, we went down on each other. That's right! Dr. Camilleian, when you...

We'll see who wins, because we're gonna be the one who gets an ice cream flavor from Jimmy Fallon. We open a business together. We've known each other for 20 years. What are you talking about? Long time! Oh my God! I got him a bit.

You got me. See? Dr. Camelian. Do you have an answer for the riddle? I'm going to need to hear this question again. What a little confusing. Well, I think maybe you guys are confused because that's not actually a riddle. It is an excerpt from Wallace Sean's essay Night Thoughts. That would be Wallace Sean for Princess Bride fame.

His essay Night Thoughts that is an excerpt from the section labeled Murder. Famous, he's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show.

He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a famous show. He's a was like this sounds like a riddle that's not a riddle I was like I'm gonna read this on the podcast. He's not joking you guys. He's really holding up a book famously wall shan who voices Dr. Kim million Insamable pick up night thoughts an essay by walla shan wherever you find why were you reading that essay? It's great It's fun walla shan's cool. I heard about a podcast and he was plugging this All right, let's go into another. What the fuck just happened?

I'm sorry, make up an answer to that. I'm unsatisfied. He took my sister to dinner. That's true. Okay, here we go. This one is from Parker. Parker says, how do you throw an egg on the floor without cracking it?

A hard boil it. Hard boil it. Hard boil it. That is an answer, but no, this is not a hard boil egg, this is just a raw egg. Not a raw egg. The whole is on the ground. A regular egg.

Take the shell off of it. No, you don't, this actually, you don't have to do anything special to the egg. How do you throw an egg on the shell without cracking it? Oh, the egg is, the floor is a trampoline. How do you, no, that's a really good answer. Wow, you guys are full a really good answer? Wow. You guys are full of really good answers today.

What did you guys have for dinner? Oh my God. Can I actually tell you? Yes, please. I had stuffing and gravy and that's it. Aaron, I had that for lunch today, but not gravy. I had stuffing and mashed potatoes leftover season. I, I started to feel sick halfway through it though. And I threw it in the garbage. I was like, I can't do this. And, and this is coming out on December 16th. So when we say leftovers, these are things giving leftovers.

They have bit of the fridge for a while. And when we say leftover season, we mean right now is the time to binge Justin Thoreau and Carrie Kuhn, one of the most underrated shows of all time. The ending may be not great, but I checked out of leftovers after the first season and then went back and revisited it later on. And I really liked the way that the show progressed. And Adel, you loved it? I adored it. I think Karrie Kuhn was robbed of an Emmy. Someone took it out of her hand.

Yeah, unfortunately, it was a situation where they didn't catch the person, but they did steal the Emmy. Oh my God, that's crazy. And it was rare instances where they gave the Emmy the person, but they did steal the enemy. Oh my God, that's crazy. And it was one of those rare instances where they gave the enemy before they announced the winner. So legally, the person was correct. Well, even crazier is they didn't get it on tape. And I know what you're thinking. The imbi's, there's cameras everywhere.

This person who ever did it, they found all the blind spots, all the spots in between with the camera's head. Holy shit. And it was on stage. It was like the one that's just... It wasn't even someone who had also been nominated. No.

Well, we don't know, Aaron, that's the thing. Well, it was DJ Qualls, so we do know. Well, it was DJ Qualls, but they haven't been able to catch it. Yes, DJ Qualls with a skin tag at the top of the set. So, yeah, so DJ Qualls is still at large. Also at large, the answer to this riddle, how do you throw an egg on the floor without cracking it?

Oh, is this like a wording thing where it's like, the egg cracks on the floor. You never crack the floor when you crack, when you crack, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you're very bad. I've been working out, and yeah, I can crack the floor. You can throw the egg any way you want. You're not gonna crack a floor with an egg.

Unless you have a really bad floor and that's what Parker says. Parker also says, love the show, keep up the great work and Parker, I can't tell if you're being facetious when you say great work, but it's obviously not, but we will keep it up. So that's our joke on you. We want to see you.

Absolutely keep it up. I want to see a scene. Aaron and JPC, you're just a normal, everyday couple. Thank God. Normal personalities, normal humans. But for whatever reason this morning, you're making omelets and you cannot get the egg open and you're losing your mind.

We see you at about minute 15. Oh! This, okay, okay, okay, Katie. I figured it out. We're dreaming. No, no. No, we must still be okay Katie. Ha ha ha! I figured it out. We're dreaming. No, no. No, we must still be dreaming worse. Look at this.

Weep, weep, weep. I could not do that while I'm dreaming. What are you doing? Going weep, weep, weep. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Is this one of the eggs that has a chickenet? Because I don't know how they people can tell the difference.

How do you know it's an egg that has a baby, a baby chicken in it, and an egg that you can cook? I want to say that it has always been my experience that you don't know until it is too late. Does that make sense? Okay, well I'm just saying is that the reason why we can't get in, because there's a chicken there, scared out of its goddamn mind,

because someone's trying to kill it. Okay, okay, that could be it, but maybe, maybe, this is it, this is it. I'm a puppet in the microwave. No, got that, okay. If I'm right, then that shouldn't work. We might be dead, we might not be dreaming, we may have died, have you seen the sixth sense?

Because Bruce Willis doesn't even know that he's dead. And he is, and he can communicate with other spirits. So if we both died in the house last night, Karimana upside, I've told you about this. This is what gets, it's a self-cure. Do you think that popcorn mode is too long or too short? For a neck. 30 seconds should be fine.

Do double popcorn mode. Do double popcorn mode. Also, that was certainly the pop-like popcorn. Did you leave the kitchen when I was telling you about my ghost theory? Yeah. If you can touch the microwave for not ghosts, it must have microwaved I too. From carbon monoxide?

I'm gonna Google if microwaves die, can they be ghosts? Do microwaves go... Oh my god, honey. This is our Faberjee egg. The one that your mom gave us last year. My mom, sorryarniculous. Yeah.

Oh no. What a delightful journey. We have to revisit this couple at some point. They are so normal. They're relatable. They're very relatable. I like them because they're relatable. My favorite part is we can't be dead because I can,

we can't be dreaming because I can do this. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I've been making a lot of popcorn this week and I've burnt it every time. I Burr I made caramel corn two nights ago. They have like like popcorn in a bag that's caramel corn and I put it in the microwave and I took it out when it stopped popping and it was smoking it was burnt to shit I burned my hand at all we all we all We all wanted to play along with it. We told you that was carbocorn That was popcorn that was the most dirt popcorn I've ever seen. It took on an amber hue to it because of how

birds it was. I think that was a normal popcorn by man. He sure, maybe it was Carmel corn. And this is for all the, said, yeah, the same. A couple of weekends ago, I was maybe a little high. Don't, again, not common for me. And I was eating egg rolls, gluten free egg rolls

from the microwave, but they were hot, hot, hot. And Sean watched me take a bite, spit it out into my plate because it was too hot, and then do that four more times. And he said, what the hell are you doing? You're hurting yourself. Just wait. And I said, to be a flyer the long. To be a flyer the long. To be a flyer the wait. And I said, I'm really hungry.

Well, famously, fly on the wall. Famously with egg rolls, the top is hot, and then the lower you go, it's cooler and cooler. I was like, ooh hot, I'm surprised every time. And it was back to back. If I were Sean, my main question is, what is she doing eating food out of that filthy microwave? That thing is gross.

Our microwave is so gross again, and I'm stubborn. I'm not going to be me. I don't know how it keeps getting this way. I keep spitting egg rolls into it, and it's staying filthy. Hey, I have an idea. I want to put you guys a joke microwave. Okay, this is a microwave you can pick up at Spitzer's. It's a gag microwave you can give us a gift.

Okay, it's a microwave, and you know how microwaves have all those buttons on them that's like popcorn or like chicken, you know, the reheat It's that it's that but it's all types of wine So the buttons of the microwave it's like port charquet sure us Sparkling rosé pito gree Okay, I kind of love it. I kind of absolutely love it Okay, I kind of love it. I kind of absolutely love it. People are gonna be very confused. I would buy $500,000.

I would buy the sticker that you put on other people's microwaves, like that makes it just say those. I think that's a million dollar idea. Um, I have a, you know what sounds so disgusting? So I know that people like heat up red wine, like the mold wine, and like, like, clothes and stuff. What sounds more disgusting than hot white wine?

Hot? Oh! Yeah, hot. I feel so dehydrated just thinking about it. Hot white wine sounds pretty bad. Now, white wine famously, I think you use that as like a cooking, like burn off the alcohol cooking, but just like to mold white wine,

I'm like, ooh, no thanks. No thanks. There's something, what is it called? Rob White turned me on to, Rob White just turned me on, one. Rose, two. He loves Bobby Rose, we call him Bobby Rose because he's obsessed with Rose,

but he turned me on to a red wine that's like, bubbly, I forget what it's called, but it's absolutely stellar. Maybe starts with an S, I can't remember, but if you ever see like carbonated red wine, I thought it was gonna be disgusting, and it's absolutely scrumptious. I would give anything to go back in time

and have, I would always, whenever I saw Rob get a rose, I was like, I gotta get a rose. And in the 10 p.m. intermission, I would just be sitting next to Rob. We would just be drinking our rose, like we were two gals out in the town. It was amazing. I'll tell you what that that guy looks fucking great holding the rosé. He makes it look good.

I would always be like, I think I need to go get rosé and Pad would do the same things. Pad was like, you're making rosé seem very appealing. Rob White, if you're out there listening and not the Rob White that listens to this podcast who gets confused every time we mention Rob White, but Rob White, the guy that we know, I hope you're having a fucking rosé, you're a fucking champ. In case you don't know what Rob White looks like, Google Calvin's Dad, so Calvin from Calvin and Hobbs, if you Google Calvin's Dad, that is exactly what Rob White looks like. And Rob, if you are listening, God, buddy, I apologize.

Never thought that you'd listen to the episode. We didn't want that information to get down to listen. So sorry, okay. So this is, hold on, I'm so sorry, I found the name of it. It's called Lambrusco, L-A-M-B-R-U-S-C-O. If you ever see Lambrusco at your local winery, grab it delicious. And if you work for Lambrusco, buy that for the podcast.

That's the last time we fucking mention your brand unless you pay up. You hear me, Lambrusco? Well, so, so you work. Send me free wine. Saying, if you work for Lambrusco, it's like, saying, if you work for beer, just to be clear. Well, famously, my t-shirt says, we'll work for beer. So, very cool. Very cool. Very sober. Here's a riddle

from KG. KG wrote this riddle, came up with it all by themselves, loving to show so far far sent from August 2018 While you look me up and down by the way, I like this one KG. This is great While you look me up and down you'll notice something strange my body keeps on changing while my head remains the same Even when I'm not before you it doesn't mean I'm through all you need is state my name and I'll appear renewed. What am I? Balloon. It's not balloon, it's not Destiny's child.

A mirror. It is not a mirror. It is a section from Wallace Sean's essay, Night Thoughts. No, it's not, it's a riddle. It's a real riddle of games. It was the middle of the night and I had a thought. So I thought to write it down.

These are Wallace Sean's Night Thoughts. That's not bad. It's Casey Kasey of Animal Shaw. I can't believe that you just read something that wasn't a riddle from a Wallace Shon book. And move on like you had sneezed and we were just moving on. I don't know, book.

It's, it's an answer. It's like, it's an answer. It's an answer. It's the size of comments. It's ANSA. It's ANSA. G.C., I think I know the answer. And the answer is, my day with Andre.

Oh, it's not that. Give me a hint, please. Okay, while you look me up and down, you'll notice something strange. My body keeps on changing while my head remains the same. So this is something that you guys, by the way, probably every day, every day you look at this. Oh, glass full.

And you look at this, the head always remains the same. The body keeps changing. And look at me up and down, I think, is very important as well. Oh, is this that weird dog that lives in my self-conscious? No. Not my self-conscious, my self-conscious. Well, it's both.

I look so weird today. What love. Damn, that's a t-shirt. Even what I've not before you, it doesn't mean I'm it. I love it. Damn, that's a t-shirt. Even what I've not before you, it doesn't mean I'm through. All you need to state my name and all appear renewed. The second part, I think, is it gonna be a little harder to get, but it'll make sense when you get the first part. So this is something that rotates?

Doesn't rotate. Doesn't rotate. Up and down is the operative word. Not a rotate hand job. Bones to hand job baby. No, Adel, I said up and down. I said this is something you see every day, not something you see in your fucking dreams moment.

Like a rolling stone. No, it's a legit, this is definitely part of your like daily life. Daily life, okay. While you get me up and down, you'll notice something strange. My body keeps on changing. What room are my houses in?

Thermometer? What do you guys are both in your closets? Closets. Or every room in your house? Is it mannequin, a dummy? No, no. No, no, no. A wall, a window.

No, it has nothing to do with the physical room of your house. Is it a tangible item? Like, can we touch it? Not really touch it, but you can interact with it. Yeah. And it's not like thermosetters. No, it's not yourself. My voice. This is something that you, I guess the best way to say is that you have access to this almost all the time. You hit your phone, like something on your phone. It isn't your phone, but you can certainly use your phone for it. Is it a mirror? Is it a reflection? Is it a... No, while you look me up and down,

you'll notice something strange. My body keeps on changing while my head remains the same. Is it like a book or something? Yeah, it's your phone, you know, a book. I don't know. It's, that's kind of close to the phone. You're closer with phone though. Phone is the right direction.

But we can access it outside of the phone as well. Yeah, on like a different type of device probably. TV show. Not you can't access. Most TVs you can't access it on. I would say it's mostly phones and computers. Is this like Tinder, but the same picture keeps coming up? No, but I guess Tinder would be an answer.

I want to see a quick, a very quick scene. Aaron, you're on Tinder. You've been swiping left and right. And this is just like 30 seconds. You've been swiping left and right. And for whatever reason, something can tell you to swipe up and down. And we see what happens. And And your way out of my league. And your way out of my league. Not a looks thing just you are

clearly in a different baseball league than me. I don't know why you're in a higher baseball league. Adult baseball league. No one I'm gonna switch this up. Oh my god. Hello my name is Santos my craft crashed here many moons ago I'm stranded on your planet. I need your help to get home my bright. Oh fuck see I'm going on a date with an alien And that I bet you wonder how I got here. Hi. I'm Erin and I'm married to an alien How I got here. Hi, I'm Erin and I'm married to an alien. Scratch I will clean the Michael wave. Oh, fuck you. See it, those. Um, can you give us a hint? Well, you're on your phone.

You were talking about swiping left and right on Tinder. Yeah. But remember up and down. What is something that you would swipe up and down on on your phone? Something I would swipe up and down on. Uh,. Something I would swipe up and down on. I mean, if I'm deleting pages on my phone, you might even, see every Windows open. You might even scroll one would say, up and down on this. Dead news.

Aaron, you're on the internet, great, but what is like, if you're on the internet and you land at a page that is called a, search engine. Yeah, that's all. Web site. Oh, Web site. If you're on the internet and you land at a page that is called a website. Oh, because the URL bar stays the same. Yeah. While you look me up and down and you're something strange, my body keeps changing.

You scroll through the body of the website, but the URL bar is the head that remains the same. When I'm not before you, it doesn't mean I'm through all you need to state my name and I'll appear renewed. If you go back up and put the name of the website in, every load. What I'm not before you, it doesn't mean I'm through. All you need to state my name and all appear renewed. If you go back up and put the name of the website in, every loads. If I may, and this is, maybe I'm being a little bit nitpicky.

Please. The URL is more the hair of a website than it is the head. Oh, I'm sorry. We're gonna do a quick check up on Adel. Adel, what did you do today? KG does include an apology. KG says, I know this riddle is a bit, can be a bit pedantic.

The URL bar is more commonly the hair of the website, but it didn't fit the rights game. So that's their explanation. I thank you so much, KG, for writing that in. I love that one. That was very fun, and it was a stumper. My favorite kind. Speaking of stumping for whatever you have going on in your life.

Nice. Thank you. Thank you. I'm very proud of that segue. Aaron, is there anything that you would like to plug? I would. I would like to give a shout out to everyone who the hundreds of you that responded to me about the Zoom birthday tape. The funniest part of it was I ended up getting eight messages from different people. Seven, it was a brother, one, it was a sister, but seven people, or yeah, or eight people message me to tell me that their siblings had the tape, they did not, because their name wasn't common enough and they were jealous. And I was like, our demographic is people who are jealous of their siblings. It blew my mind. I was laughing out loud.

I was like, why did everyone's brother have this? And not them. So weird. But thank you so much. I was so fun seeing all your messages from that. But if you want to message me, I respond to all my messages. But once a month, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. Hello.

Goodbye. Addle, what's up? I want to say, I've realized that the most interaction we as hosts get from this podcast is when one of us says, hey, does anybody remember this blank? So I just want to say it is anybody remember this song? It's like, so let me know, please interact with me, send me 100 DMs about that song, because I'm so lonely. And then I wanna give a shout out to my sister, Sadia, how do I go ahead and just say she's great. If you're ever at the Trader Joe's,

grabbing essential supplies on Lincoln, say hi to her. I don't know if she'll say hi back, she might be weirded out. But Sadia or if I is my promotion for today. Wow. That's nice, great. You're making us look like jerks. That's very sweet.

And you listed where she works. So cool. She also works for Red Orchard Theatre Company. She's a company member there. And recently she just got a promotion. That's very cool. Yeah. Congratulations on the promotion, Ced promotion. That's very cool. Congratulations on the promotions, Adia.

Let's see. Oh, okay, so in the same vein as Adal, super obscure things, I doubt many of you have heard of this or listened to it, but if you have, please feel free to message me about it. It is a podcast between two friends that listen to a lot of pop music, and they review that pop music together.

I remember it from, I don't know, days ago when I was recording an episode of it, it's the Bill Bloods Pop Guest. If you've heard of it, let me know. I would love to hear it. So please, find me anywhere you can find me. And please let me know if that is something that you have heard of.

Until then, I have an exciting announcement. I just was scrolling Tinder while we were doing this, and I just matched, I swiped up on a very sexy alien thing, and we are going on a date. Aaron, I'm going to show you my screen, and you can tell everyone where me and this alien are going on a date. It's a place I've never been before,

and I'm very excited to go. Okay, that's you and a wig and there. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, here we go. Okay, that's you in a wig and there. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, here we go. Oh, that's you in another wig and you're for Neptune. Bye forever, Neptune, wait, hold on. Hold on. Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter, Jupiter. Bye forever now.

Jupiter, Neptune. Join the picture now. No. Sorry, here I need it. And John Patrick Cullen. You know what? or hate, break, break, go, break, go, break. RUN You know what? Casey is crazy, because Toledo looks exactly the same as your other place. It's just that same fucking RV.

With that smoking hot chick on the roof. Oh yeah, that's my mom. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go oinks. Casey, I gotta say, I had known idea that that was your mom and upon seeing her, I gotta say, wow, he's always oinks. My man. Congratulations. I have to say that about your mom, but wow, he's always oinks. I knew your mom. She was a wonderful woman and we're gonna miss her.

I guess there's nothing else to say, but wow, he's always oinks. Does that make sense? What a caring person, what a kind person. What a Wally's, Wally's, Winks. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Here lies Casey's mom.

Wally, Wally, Zoe, Winks. Adel. Listen, what would you do if you were in a graveyard? If you were in a graveyard and you saw a tube stone, that was just like, you know, Jessica Smith. Wally's, Wally's, Winks. Wally, Zoe, Zoe, Jessica Smith. Wally's, Wally's, Oinks. Wally, Zawie, Zoinks. Those pauses that Adel put in are absolutely perfection.

From Wally to Zoinks. Ashes to Ashes, Wally to Zoinks. And all the Zawies in between. She touched every life that she knew. And while we may be having a hard time here on Earth without her, I know that God has up in heaven saying, whoo, Abby's Abby's Oinks! Check out the body on that mother!

Got got got got going! Mother Trunga! Mother Trunga. Sounds like a city in California. Okay. Okay. Hey there, states and capitals. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon.

Aaron takes us to the magical land of improv where we explore our favorite states and the local news stories therein. You can get that plus our entire Batcadelog on patreon.com-haverdol-rittle by joining the or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!