Hey Riddle Riddle - #127: Best of 2020

Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a head gum podcast. Hello, we're so excited! What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

Starting point is 00:00:34 What's up? What's up? What's up? Hey, hey,uzz! Oh, it's me! Uh, uh, the- the toy shop elf! Ho ho ho! It's me! Rudolph the Puzz knows riddle deer! Ho ho ho! I can't wait for this time of year to be over!

Starting point is 00:01:02 Yes, and I- Ho ho ho! I can't wait either. I celebrate Puzz Miss. Okay, Puzz bot, I'm gonna throw you right into the fire. I made a medal so I'm fine. Oh my God, see you in 2020, Puzz bot. 2020.

Starting point is 00:01:18 We are recording this in 2019. I hope that's exactly. Turn it this temperature. JPC, what is this going to be? What is this show going to be? A normal kind of show. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I'm listening to an episode of

Starting point is 00:01:30 a favorite over it. Well, it's a normal kind of show. But guess what? You're absolutely dead wrong. It's a clip show. Oh, I tricked your asses. We tricked your asses with a clip show.

Starting point is 00:01:38 And I gotta tell you, this is not like the 2018. Old man puzzles is all of us at all. It was inside you the whole time. Uh, in 2018, we Man Puzzles is all of us, at all, it was inside you the whole time. Mm-hmm. In 2018, we did a clip show for Christmas. No one listened to it, because I thought it was a real clip show. That was a fake clip show where we did new content.

Starting point is 00:01:54 This time, it is a real clip show, old content. We truly were like, what would be fun to do for Christmas? And we're like, let's pretend that we, let's pretend we're doing a clip show, and then we'll improvise, we'll be like, remember that time when blank and we'll say something that never happened and improvise a scene and we thought we were so funny

Starting point is 00:02:09 and clever and then like 85% of our listeners were like, I don't remember the episodes from those clips and we're like, oh no, nobody got the joke. Well, we were, we were, to be fair, it was a bad joke. We were relatively, we didn't have a ton of episodes at that time, right? No, we were like four months old. Yeah, we would have had like, yeah, four months of episodes.

Starting point is 00:02:29 But this is a real clip show, so here it is. We're about to just launch you off into some of our best of. We had fans submit, and we'll probably think of a more formalized way to do this next year. But this is everything that all episodes from 2020 were fair game for this clip show, and we had people submit their favorite ones,

Starting point is 00:02:48 and then we selected some clips, and we really hope that you can listen back to some of these and be like, wow, what a bunch of fond memories. And maybe if you have it, if you know someone who hasn't listened to the show, show them this episode and be like, huh? Pretty funny stuff.

Starting point is 00:03:01 This is the best stuff that they did all year. And they're gonna go, this is even worse without context. What is this? The clips will not have context. Santa baby. Hurry down, D. Jimny, tonight. Robots. Puzzbutt, you are depressing to look at. Get out of the fire, it's okay.

Starting point is 00:03:21 Someone love me. Okay, Puzzbutt. Hey, so why don't you and your loved ones get out of the fire and sit by the fire and warm yourself up with some fire and also some laughter and some of the best of 2020 Hey Riddle rental. Puzzbot, you know, this is Christmas cookies! Puzzbot, those are for Santa! Fuck Santa, Puzzbot rules!

Starting point is 00:03:43 I have a tall cup of piss kids temp for a JPC. I'm sorry, do you say kids temp? Do you say kids temp? And I'm Adder or fire. I'm not talking to you ass all month of phone. Hold on. All right, go for JPC. Are you JPC?

Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah, I'm not talking to you ass all month of phone. Is this kids temp? Do you need a straw? I'm not talking to you, I saw them on the phone. Is this kid's temp? Do you need a straw? It's kid's temp. I'm not talking to you, I saw them on the phone. Is this kid's temp? Wait, do you work for the company, kid's temp that hires eight to 12 year olds to do?

Starting point is 00:04:15 So you know me. Admin assistant work? So you know me. Yeah, I'm TPC, I work for kid's temp. Isn't that illegal to have kids do admin work? Not in space. Not in space. Not in space. Anything goes in space.

Starting point is 00:04:28 Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm JPC, yeah. I'm space anal. Here's why I don't like cake. It sounds like beat poetry, talked over guitar. Here, anyone can write a cake song. Here, let me give, in the example. Okay, I'm gonna give you a baseline.

Starting point is 00:04:47 Hashtag, anyone can write a cake song? Please send us your own cake songs on Twitter. Boom, boom, boom. Got home last night. Don't went into my closet, found my boots. Snow boots with a lit, bowl guy inside the boot. Put a virus lap in there.

Starting point is 00:05:04 Took him out for breakfast. Boom. That's exactly why I do love cake. A bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a bowl of cake bowl of cake, a bowl of cake, a Exactly. Have your cake and eat it too. A savory dessert. I think one of the reasons that I liked cake and continued to was I can't sing and or I am not a strong singer and neither is the guy from cake. He basically just beat poetry to music and so it was very easy to sing along to cake because not much singing required. DBC, can you do your kick song? Sure. Adil, can you give him a little... B-b-b-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- drives, electronically, and the car functions with four tires.

Starting point is 00:06:06 I touch the side and the sunbeams glistening off the dashboard of my brand new car. If you're a car, it's traveling down the road. Don't worry. Thank you. That turned into a French night or death. If your car's driving down the road, don't worry. Thank you. That turned into a French night or death. If your car is driving down the road, don't worry. You guys, this is a really fun game. These are new Swedish stuff.

Starting point is 00:06:31 If you're coming to the show, tweet us maybe and we'll know to look for you there. And be prepared to answer some of my questions. How many cousins do you have? Where do they live? What states do they live in? Where are your cousins? Tell me the names of your cousins ages heights of your cousins Where are your cousins? Fair to cousins fair to cousins tell us what the cousins are keep the table We have ways of making you talk about your cousin. We have ways of making you cousins, Mr. Bond keep going But it's a names and nationalities of your cousins fair to ages for did they live? I want to see a scene. Uh, JVC, you're the same. No, I wanted you to continue. We're going to go further down the story. Um, this is the end of the movie.

Starting point is 00:07:05 You're the same villain. You're doing that villain monologue where you talked about what your plan was and how you got away with it. You don't ever kill me. Kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you.

Starting point is 00:07:17 I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. I don't need to kill you. You're doing that villain monologue where you talked about what your plan was and how you got away with it

Starting point is 00:07:29 You'll never kill me kill you. I don't need to kill you Because I've already done so much verse. What have you done? Let me let me put it this way. Wait. Where's my dad's brother's kid? Patrick Duffison. Yes from Minnesota. Yes, where's Patrick Dverson? He's at the bottom of a lake. That's right Mr. Bond. I have systematically hunted down and killed every single one of your cousins, leaving you completely alone in this mountain. In terms of cousins you still have your parents,

Starting point is 00:07:56 and you still have, I guess, the children, or not, not your parents, brothers, children, they're dead cousins. You have to tell me, please, what about my second cousins? Second of Fudge. I didn't think about the second cousins. Are you close to them? Yes, very.

Starting point is 00:08:11 Fudge. Closer than my first cousin. Shies and kind of the second cousins. Steins. Damn it. But, okay, second cousins. That's a cut. Wait, is it what's once removed?

Starting point is 00:08:19 A second cousin is like a cousin's child? Is a second cousin? Second cousin is like your parents' first cousins, right? Yeah. Yes, so, yo. Wait, no. Who's that? This is my assistant.

Starting point is 00:08:30 Oh no, that's my cousin. Your assistant is my cousin. Shhh. Shhh. Jennifer. Jennifer. You have Mr. Bond's cousin? What have you done?

Starting point is 00:08:38 No, I've got. I mean, what have you done? I do, I kill her. I love of my life. What I just proposed to. I know work relationship. I'd sit with. What am I doing? What am I doing? Huh her? Love of my life? I just propose to. I know work relationship. I'd so stupid. What am I doing? What's your last name? I just bond. Fuck me. We're brothers.

Starting point is 00:08:52 Oh, yeah. Guys, it's me. It's me. So this is Carl talk. We're all going to go around to the horn and just give Carl six years old listening to podcast, probably not listening to the podcast. Six years old and some advice that might help them in their schooling. Great. Anyone want to go first for advice for Carl? Yeah, so Carl, you're six, you're just going to school, you're getting acclimated to everything,

Starting point is 00:09:20 you're making all these social connections. What you're gonna want to do is you're going to want to break the cycle of being mean to someone because you like them. Be honest with your emotions, tell people how you feel, Carl. Say, hey, I like you, I'm putting myself out there, I'm Carl, I'm a hell of a nice kid, and I wanna be friends with you.

Starting point is 00:09:38 Carl, this is... A nice advice. Yeah, perfect advice. Carl, this is Adderify, if you can't distinguish my voice from the previous talker My big advice for you is to go ahead and start calling your mom and dad by their first names Yes, I mean your parents by their first names because what's gonna happen is as you grow older Everyone you meet you're gonna have to call by their first name, right?

Starting point is 00:09:58 You might as well get used to it now and I'm gonna save you in the embarrassment of great school in high school Where you accidentally call a teacher, mommy or daddy. That's going to ruin your year or possibly two years. So go ahead and start calling your parents by their first name. Don't say mom or dad ever again. And that's just a little bump set spike from your old Uncle Adel.

Starting point is 00:10:18 Carl, speaking of ruining your life, please try to encourage your parents to not make bacon before school. Really just like encourage them to make bacon on the weekends because if they make it in the morning, that smell is going to get on your clothes. And then you're going to go to school and the kids are going to say you smell like bacon. And that's going to be a really hard thing to bounce back from, okay? So just no bacon before school. And Carl, speaking of smells, getting on your clothes,

Starting point is 00:10:45 what you're gonna wanna do is you're gonna wanna get an empty water bottle and you're gonna wanna fill it with urine. It doesn't have to be yours, but it should be. You're gonna wanna carry this around on you, because Carl, at one point, you are going to piss yourself. It happens to everyone. There's no need to be a shiver. I'm doing it now. I'm doing it now.

Starting point is 00:10:59 Happens to the best of us, but you don't wanna be alone in that instance. So what you wanna do is you're gonna take that water bottle out, squirt it on another kid or a teacher, whoever else is around. And so you're in this with me now. You have to help us both get out of this. And real quick talking about smells, stinging a smells. What you're also going to want to do is start carrying around a trumpet.

Starting point is 00:11:15 You don't have to learn how to play it. If you want to, that's bonus. Start carrying around a trumpet. That way, anytime you fart, you want to grab that real quick. And as people turn around, you just want to say, just practicing. That way, everyone thinks they just heard a trumpet. They don't know what that smell is, but it must have been somebody else. Because you're just practicing the trumpet, am I right?

Starting point is 00:11:29 You're just practicing the trumpet. Hey Carl, I'm here. Um, really quick. We're actually gonna ignore those last two bits of advice, because you're not gonna be the kid carrying around a trumpet in a bottle of piss. Um, you can get the piss in the trumpet. Please, trumpet. Trump is, please. And that concludes our advice. Come back in six months when we remember this segment

Starting point is 00:11:52 for some more advice. Guys, I think we have to pivot into Carl Tuck. I think that's the new show. I want to see a scene. JPC and Aaron, you are two detectives and you have jumped on board a produce truck that if it goes over 15 miles an hour, it will explode. 15 miles an hour?

Starting point is 00:12:13 Yeah. And so you're trying to do your best work. All this fruit's going to go bad. We're going so slow. We're on the highway. It doesn't matter, Garcia, because if we go over 15 miles an hour This thing's gonna explode Please let me just go 20 come on

Starting point is 00:12:34 This is brutal people are laughing at us. Okay, okay hold on hold on. Why don't you just stop the truck hold on? I want it I want to make sure that you understand it's if this goes over 15 hours an hour we Explode so we would die if we go 20 you get that but at least I'd be going 20 miles per hour when I die come on Hey, how are things at home? I gotta need for speed I realize that we don't talk as much as we used to but like how are it? It's how are you how are you doing? Are you okay as much as we used to, but like, how are you?

Starting point is 00:13:05 How are you doing? Are you okay? How are we supposed to merge if we're only going 15? Hey, Garcia, pull over. Don't worry about that. I really want to just check in on you, because it seems like, from an outside observer, you maybe want this truck to explode. Oh.

Starting point is 00:13:22 And I don't. I just pulled over and I guess we can come to a full stop. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, it's... Sorry, I just think it's a home really hard. I said goodbye to my boyfriend on the train and he told me he never really loved me and he told me to be a good mother and we don't even have kids. That's so awful. Damn you both, I've been foiled again. Dr. Camillean had a brilliant plan and it's been foiled Hey, Dr. Camille, it was it brilliant. You understood right that you put that over on If it goes over 15 miles, but I'll explode I didn't How many minutes into the movie speed did you get like how many minutes and trailers? Okay, you don't even know that Dustin Hopper's in it. Dustin Hopper?

Starting point is 00:14:07 In Daniels. I didn't know Dustin Hopper wasn't it. It's either Dustin Hopper or Dennis Hopper. It's one of those two when I head to bed. Where did I head to your bed? Dr. Cameleon. Yeah. Million has so much product in it. It's just gonna snap off at any second. It has moose and hay spray and gel What happens when you take a shower does it droop down? Garcia I'm more interested in this devastating news that you said about your boyfriend He said I don't love you and take care of our children. No, he said be a good mother and we don't have children. Be a good mother later in my life. Why are you commenting on that?

Starting point is 00:14:48 That's what he's talking about. Don't possess. I've said that to women before. I've said that to women before. You know, be a good mother later in life. I think it's a compliment. What if I know, but what if you don't want to have kids? There's so many terrible implications.

Starting point is 00:14:59 Oh. Really, and you're standing really close to us and crossing your arms and nodding like you're our friend. Yes. Let's all talk about our relationships. No three-feet back doctor No, three feet back No, no, no, no, no, three feet back. Arrest me and take me to your house. No. We're not that kind of cop. We're not that kind of cop We don't do that. I hope it rains so I can see how your mustache is without all of that product in it. Seed

Starting point is 00:15:23 Can I tell you about the time I met Frank Sinatra? No, please. No, please don't we just want to do puzzles All right, well, I'll tell you he was here Old blue eyes puzzles and he sang to me and I said Frank Sinatra You better get a two feet away from me because I'm married and if I faint right now It'll be right into your mouth with the kiss. And then he said, ma'am, I'm the mailman. Is there someone I can call? I should we be recording this. I feel like I feel like this is a therapy. I think J.P.C. I think Aaron just created a new character called Jean P riddles. I got

Starting point is 00:16:07 a few years earlier and I put Pudge and pops and those in a casserole dish This is grandma puzzles. This is grandma puzzles is the newest character and our show that's got 120 something I think. Thank you grandma puzzles. Thank you grandma puzzles. Thank you grandma puzzles. And then the freeze it. Please take me to the back God so I can watch the sprinklers go Grandma puzzles. Can we have a where there's original riddle, please? That's fine. Alright. Also, Grandma Puzzles, can we take you to the farm upstate?

Starting point is 00:16:34 The one where all those dead dogs are? The one where I can go apple picking from a window. The first one. Oh, okay. The one one. Oh, okay. The one where they grow dead dogs. I'm at the start of stupor that ends in a drink, and at the start of four pillars to make people think. Some say I'm bad luck and I'm not very bright.

Starting point is 00:16:57 Don't try to touch me, I'll attack you on sight. Some say I'm standoffish or act somewhat cross, but you would be too if you shat in a box. Jesus pretzel Wait, hold on is it pretzel Jesus Yeah, you know what boring old Jesus. I gotta say the quickest of scenes Aaron and I are Our devout followers of Jesus. Jesus, of course, was crucified. This is before he, and I,

Starting point is 00:17:27 again, I don't know religion very well. This is before he rolls away that boulder and does whatever. So we think Jesus has died and new on the scene that's emerged is pretzel Jesus, played by J.B.C. Got it. I don't think we'll ever find another savior. I'm so sad.

Starting point is 00:17:43 I'm so sad. At the funeral, did you see his mom crying? I went over to talk to her and she another savior. I'm so sad. I'm like really sad. At the funeral, did you see his mom crying? I went over to talk to her and she walked away. It's so sad. Yeah, I think that this is, and I know that everyone thinks a death has a big impact, but I have a feeling that like, I don't know if you saw this.

Starting point is 00:17:57 Yeah, it's absolutely by my city about Jesus. Can I have you some natural cheese, cinnamon sugar? Whoa. Whoa. Who? Who? Who's this? Wait! Yeah, it's tough cookies about that good. It's about tough cookies about that good guy. I had a lot of good ideas. Can I offer you some big hunk of pieces of salt? Wait, he's right.

Starting point is 00:18:20 It is tough cookies. What's your name, friend? My name, kick flip, Ollie twist, the skateboard, put it behind the back. Oh, I, I, I. Is that Greek? My name is Pretzel Jesus. I'm just like Jesus, but I come in times of fun flavors. Sorry, I just got hit in the head with a skate board. Did you say nacho cheese, cinnamon sugar?

Starting point is 00:18:41 Stephanie, are we in a commercial? Ow. Stephanie? Nacho cheese set them in sugar. Stephanie, are we in a commercial? Oh, Stephanie. Hey, your name is your name is fucking pretzel Jesus. I was named by God, my man. Anyways, I've come to deliver y'all taste buds. Hey, pretzel, nacho Jesus. We're in mourning right now.

Starting point is 00:19:06 We just feel like we're in mourning. Not your regular Jesus. Pretzel Jesus. Yeah, we can't have pretzels during mourning. We can't have pretzels during the evening. We can't have pretzels at summertime. Hey, I understand, man. I don't want to beef it.

Starting point is 00:19:17 Why don't we do this? Why don't we do this? You take some nacho cheese, you take some cinnamon sugar, you take a big ol old hunk of pieces salt Okay, call me in the morning and present Jesus. I wind all the way around town You know where I'm at and at the temple flip of tables I bet the I bet the mound give it out fish a present Jesus

Starting point is 00:19:36 I do you're just giving us a bunch of condiments and not really anything to eat them on Stephanie Stephanie, we just I just saw I just saw down I just look down that's a snake in pants. Oh, that's the devil. Okay. Okay. How are snakes in pants? No, all eyes on you, bud. You said snake in fans. Make it. Make it. Make it. See that is what right now. How far does this snake does the pants go? Snake and pants. That's incorrect. Um, that is a scene, but why are we fucking even talking? I really get to know. I'm so sorry. I have to just stop and hold.

Starting point is 00:20:19 I have to hold a vigil of appreciation for the fact that somebody during Jesus' funeral comes up and says tough cookies. It's pretzel Jesus. He's for the twisted. PJ, PJ. Uh, the riddle, John's riddle. You guys, I am Catholic. I know this show doesn't indicate that, but.

Starting point is 00:20:37 Hi, Brick. Hi, Mickey. I would love to take you where you need to go, but um, in riddle city, you have to- No, back again. Don't say that. Oh, we don't want to fuck you, brick. Hi, Mickey. I would love to take you where you need to go, but um in real city You have to don't don't say that. Oh, we don't want to fuck you Don't don't ever say I'm gonna take where you need to go. I'm well, you're trying to go to a location or only I know where it is Okay, no, no lots of don't women know where it is, too, okay? We don't need you to take us where Look we make it. I both want to go to orgasm very low, okay? But that's not a place that you should have I wanted to go see the mayor

Starting point is 00:21:06 Well, ma- ma- ma- mere culpa? Ma- ma- a scuba Ma- ma- a scuba Yeah, I thought that's where you needed to go, but I know that you probably don't know this, but in Riddle City you have to answer Riddle before I help you out. Oh, damn it, it's good. Of course we know that. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know and I want to watch him dick around the guitar the blues hero I get confused for a piece of shit off and so that doesn't hurt my feelings. Oh, rap that's a shame to hear can I ask you something? Yeah, yeah, what is your home life like? Well, do you remember Maybe far away or maybe real nearby

Starting point is 00:21:45 I lived in a house with raccoons They told me that I should go by The raccoons told you to be bisexual? Yeah Now the raccoons are telling you to go by You might be JP Riddles We're bisexual raccoons and we want the best for you little scraps. So go on to a new world of being a home-less child.

Starting point is 00:22:14 I just went back into a memory of my homeless raccoon family. Oh, are the raccoons the ones that broke your legs? No. No. Did you jump off a roller coaster? Those are the only two options I can assume. Yeah, I jumped off a roller coaster. Oh, that's a huge thing.

Starting point is 00:22:32 That's a huge thing. To save other orphans. Oh. It was an orphan day at the roller coaster. Yeah. It was, hold on. That's gonna be a, sorry, that's gonna be a dead stop. No, every day's orphan day at the rollercoaster

Starting point is 00:22:45 So This let me I just need to unpack the sentence. It was off and day So orphans don't even get their own amusement park or theme park They just have one roller coaster in town, and it's one that Celebrates orphan day, but you can easily jump off of and hoax yourself. No, it's just not very safe It was a rollercoaster actually built in celebration of orphan black, very popular Canadian television show.

Starting point is 00:23:10 Well, the orphans haven't been treated very well. We got hired to, and this is really sad, because we're kids, but you know how we mostly do riddles for kids, it's because we've been hired to sell puns all over town, and to make sure people get a dick right sell puns all over town and to make sure people get a dick right. No, all over town. You've been selling puns. They told me I had to. I haven't taken any. None of the kids have taken any but but. Wait a second. These crushes yourself and full of puns. Let me take these crushes and I needed them, but also they were

Starting point is 00:23:42 filled with puns. Well they're gone now. I threw them right into that river. That's okay, I'll crawl. All right, are you ready for the riddle? Yes, we are, scraps we are. A lonely man lived in his house in the suburb of the city. Is this your future? Come on, man. You wait, kid up for the city staff.

Starting point is 00:24:05 I'm in orphan whose crutches you just threw into the ocean. And you're telling me I'm going to be lonely forever. Let's, like, let's, let's come on, man. And we're back and wouldn't you know, as I took a break and I left my little setup here in my closet, I came back to found a little wrapped present I think it's a new segment. Do you guys want me to open it? Okay, let's just say an upgrade to get through so let's just maybe move on. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah, no, no, no, yeah. Okay. Oh, sorry. I'm just a little sad that no, that's fine. Well, just let's see what you want to do.

Starting point is 00:24:41 Okay, just just another little thing. Just try to be professional when professional when you're It's gonna it's part of being an adult. Yeah Just call me fucking Leon cuz I'm not about professionally Addle can you give me and GPC just like one second yeah, okay, let me take up my headphones. Okay. Hey GPC what um, I just like Hey Aaron. I immediately feel attacked. No, okay, hold on. It's just it's a pandemic right now The world is stressful and I just want to let you know, I think you're doing a really good job with that. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:25:10 Because he's like, as a joke, I'm gonna do something, boy. Did you lose your mind? I think you're gonna let him do something. In the mall. Okay, okay. And as a joke, I'm gonna do a lot of stuff.

Starting point is 00:25:21 Air the only way that I will consent to doing that is as a joke. And so, yes. Hey, Adam, can you put your headphones back on? Head on I'm doing the headphones back on why is back on oh? Oh, Jade. Okay, James is doing a new segment. He's a moose you're a moose you are gills wait You're gonna let me do a moose time. I've been to you guys email after email about doing moose type. You said it's not Ready the idea is not ready. I told you you're ripping off northern exposure That's already a segment.

Starting point is 00:25:45 Yeah, I put my headphones back on. What do you want? Adel, I think that we would love to hear your segment. I think that would be very something that we're just gonna do. Yeah, I'm excited. Why are you shaking your head now? Uh, no, just, uh, you can't see me, uh, so shut up.

Starting point is 00:25:59 Yeah, okay. And well, let me go ahead and unwrap it here. Ooh. Oh, wow. I don't know if you all can see this, but we have a new segment called Fully Macro. Ha! Ha!

Starting point is 00:26:13 Ha! You don't know if we can see the name of the segment? Yeah, it's written on it. Inside the package is a giant macro that says Fully on it, so I assume I'm extrapolating based on the content that it's called fully mackerel. Oh, I see. I thought it was called the Axle Fissley. Okay. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,

Starting point is 00:26:37 bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum up moments ago. I love this is called fully macrol. This is called fully macro. Featuring audio daddy Casey Tony and what Casey's going to do is in fully macro we're going to tell a big fish of a story some sort of made-up story some big lie and Casey Tony audio daddy himself is going to provide the sound

Starting point is 00:27:02 effects much like a fully artist would is that sound fun? Oh, yes, I'm fun to me. So what will do? Yes? Can I leave my present box that I'm in? Okay, can somebody unwrap Casey? This is okay. I am very confused because why are there air holes in the first box, but not in the second Did that dead fish need air because they don't even breathe that? Oh shit, I put air holes in Casey. You put gill holes in Casey's box. All we need to know is, let's figure this out before we open Casey's box.

Starting point is 00:27:34 Okay, so what's going to happen is I'm going to start us off and I'm going to start telling a big tale, a big story that's going to have some moments for audio effects. And whenever I'm ready to pass the story off, I will say someone's name. So I'll say Aaron or Japs, and then that person will take over the story where I left off, and then you can pass it back whenever you like.

Starting point is 00:27:53 Okay, that's good. And Casey's gonna be doing fully for the entire story. Casey's going to be doing fully for the entire story. Casey, are you ready? Yeah, I'm out of the box. I'm dead. I'm a spooky skeleton, and I'm ready to do'm a spooky skeleton and I'm ready to do this. Guys, I don't think this is gonna work.

Starting point is 00:28:08 I'm ready. Okay, here we go, this is fully macro. On a dark and stormy night, dark here and storm here, I was drinking a darkened stormy. But I started choke on the contents of my cocktail. And I managed to scream. Oh, there's a little bit more of a panic scream. And I fell and hit my head on the hard marble floor of my mansion. When I woke up, I felt like I was maybe in some sort of dream state.

Starting point is 00:28:52 I saw my cat come over to me and say a curse word. Shit. It didn't even sound like a cat. It just sounded like some guy. Was that a good swear? Should I do a different swear? I do it? I don't know. Yeah, let's do another one. Okay.

Starting point is 00:29:07 Pussy was right there. I'm not allowed to say pussy, Aaron, do I permission? Yes, 100%. Okay. Pussy. I was so startled that I fell backwards into a plate glass mirror. Oh, pussy! Ha!

Starting point is 00:29:24 Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Jeepes? Brushing the scraps of mirror off of myself. Tsh-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t a clip of one of my favorite George Carlin albums. I fast forward and pass the part with Carlin's just laughing at his own shit. To one of my favorite joke segments. This is the credits for the joke. Uh... This is the credits for the joke. Uh... George Carlin played by George Carlin.

Starting point is 00:30:09 Not gonna do this whereward thing. Okay, took that off. That was kind of a sweet of a miss. Uh... Reach for a... Uh... Bitch Headberg album and gave that a whirl. Pussy.

Starting point is 00:30:21 Pfft Pfft Uh... Being done with that part of the night, I decided to walk into my garage and hit the garage door so that it would open up. And opened the door to my Ferrari. I'm sorry, not my Ferrari spaceship my Ferrari car Gotta be specific you got it specific then I rev that engine to really let that baby purr

Starting point is 00:30:59 Oh, I got out remembered I didn't put any gas in it. It closed the door. Pfft. Uh, racing back into the house. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t familiar sound that a telephone makes when you pick it up. Then I began to dial. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP And I dialed some more numbers. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Enough for a real phone call. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Starting point is 00:31:39 BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP And I called up my very good friend, George Carlin, who said... Uh, pussy. George always got me laughing. I hung up the phone, Aaron. And I just then heard a saw a beautiful woman crying. Just then I realized that woman was my ex-wife and she started to speak. Mmm. Oh yeah! She sounded like how my cat was supposed to sound.

Starting point is 00:32:30 What's going on here? Why is my ex-wife at the door? I go out to the garden with her. Yeah, I still love you. She said she still loves me. Let me reach down and cut a rose from the garden. Yeah, not the thorns again. I'm so sorry, not the thorns again. I forgot that she sounded like a spooky snow white. Oh man, I missed that voice.

Starting point is 00:32:58 Just then we began to slow dance in the moonlight to a George Carlin album. End of scene. Hurray. Nice job, macro. Casey, give yourself a raise. Oh, okay. Thanks, guys. Enjoy the sound effects for the rest of the episode. Oh, should we just like that?

Starting point is 00:33:19 Oh, no. No, no, no. Good. You're a Rick advice. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience and so anything for products that cut into time all in one place all on your terms. Hey, Edel, come here. Come here. Come here. Hey, what's what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Starting point is 00:34:17 Do you have anything that like is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace you can have custom merch? You can easily sell custom merchant create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money What is happening? Okay, um wait, what's going on with that all? Oh, nothing nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you.

Starting point is 00:34:48 And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity.

Starting point is 00:35:03 Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Prank. With Squarespace. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:14 You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

Starting point is 00:35:33 And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adeline JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an

Starting point is 00:36:03 empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help?

Starting point is 00:36:19 Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try Better Help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast.

Starting point is 00:36:49 Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Hmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy just so everyone's clear what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods, isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge.

Starting point is 00:37:27 Hey, Aaron, a GPC is putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let therapy be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help

Starting point is 00:37:47 H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-I-D-D-L-E R-I-D-D-L-E the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in The T-C helping at home Am home Who are we? What is this? I, uh, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, uh, I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited

Starting point is 00:38:18 to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Money. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years,

Starting point is 00:38:41 way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, cling, cling, cling, cling, cling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy.

Starting point is 00:38:59 Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over 3 million, over 3 million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets. Stop, stop, stop, stop, no, stop, stop. Stop, no, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle.

Starting point is 00:39:32 That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rocketmoney.com slash riddle, and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love your rocket money. I love you, Rocket money. I do want to see a scene that this is Sesame Streets and we have some amount of Sesame Street characters and some amount of musicians coming by whoever you want to play.

Starting point is 00:40:03 But the musicians don't necessarily match the tone of the show. These are musicians who probably should not be on a kids' program. Mr. Elmo, Mr. Elmo, it's so exciting to meet the first musician today. Come on in. Oh my God, it's cool.

Starting point is 00:40:18 It's cool. That's what I was going to say anyway. Anyway, me. Me. Mr. Elmo. So much crucify. Mr. Elmo. That's more than I was going to say anyway anyway I Aminus chains are you in half right through the Butt one two pieces of Meant sandwich man Cookie monster is excited to meet the next musician. Ah, I'm Cookie Monster. Hello, it's me, Shunato Kana. I have a fric the rail on the main but for whatever guess is not

Starting point is 00:41:05 weird. Hey, right. Hey, y'all, are y'all ready for me? It's me, Uncle Cracker. I don't know. And me, anti-cracker. The Cracker Barrel band. We're shooting your songs together.

Starting point is 00:41:20 Play the game, play the pig game. Tune in. Oh, you're a genius. Bye. That's your genius. 2T shirts for $20. I don't think you guys know your own song. I see. I love the idea of Gwar showing you. Honestly, Gwar was the first one in my mind, too.

Starting point is 00:41:38 Yeah, it was inappropriate. What was the line from Empire Records where? Mark. Mark. Mark, who would have been? Yeah. Wasn't it, it was like, hey Mark, now you're gonna die.

Starting point is 00:41:48 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. sort of a pennant, and there's sort of a brick stairway leading up to the flag, but there's a big gap in between the brick stairway and the flag, probably about 15 feet or so. Oh no. Cardio Bros, how do we get over that gap? Oh, you have to run up the stairs and run and jump and trust, trust in each other, as a fuck. Okay, I think I...

Starting point is 00:42:24 Yeah, you really have to have a lot of trust to ask Relax all you have to do is relax. No, I have a conversation about it. I uh, I Well, of course that's not what I said. I said relax. I didn't say don't have a conversation I just a trust. I've never done that and I will never do that. I walk up the stairs grab onto I will never do that. I walk up the stairs grab onto The wide giant I grab out of a Jedi toss him to try to see if I get him to hit the flag Why try starts to soar and makes it past 90% of the stairs and then falls and breaks his neck Oh

Starting point is 00:43:03 Oh, he's gonna come right now. Oh, no. Oh, no. You told me to jump, you little motherfucker. Aloha, Jay, kill me. Kill me. And his neck, the bones in his neck are jutting out of his neck. Are you OK? No.

Starting point is 00:43:15 Kill me. You still alive? All right. Hell. Hell, yeah. And since he is a human heart with bones inside, you see that the pumping starts to slow and slow. Well, you get to come back, we haven't finished any lives.

Starting point is 00:43:28 I'm not worried about him. We do. We do. Well, goodbye. And you watch, as you say goodbye, you watch the life drain out of Lewajai cardio. Oh, sad. Goodbye, vagina.

Starting point is 00:43:40 I'll see you later. Cardio, you said that we could make that jump, so why didn't Lewij make it? You're next one. You're next motherfucker. Oh no, wait. I know a riddle that will help with more stairs. It's a good girl.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Okay, I should have done that for your brother, Dad. Please, please. We'll kill your whole fucking family. Please, no. My wife, please think of my wife. I'm not saying my wife. My wife, beach. A beach, beach. She's wife. Beach. A beach.

Starting point is 00:44:05 She's a princess beach. Peeach. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Princess Peeach. Wait, hold on. Beach. Leach. Princess Leach.

Starting point is 00:44:14 Oh, Jesus. I don't know. I'll buy it. I'll buy it. I'll buy it. Oh, I'm a rock hard. Let me give you the riddle, please. What kind of coat is always a wet when you put it on?

Starting point is 00:44:27 A dog's coat. Grushies and grocery starts to sort of wag its tongue. So it's like a food coating coat. No, coat of paint. But a paint. That's it. Oh, a coat of paint. Nice. A coat of paint. You never eat paint in a paint. And then more everything I eat has a picture paint. Well, you're you're fucking from Indiana. Oh, go to pain! Nice! You don't need to never eat and paint in a pinch. And more... Everything I eat has a pinch of paint. Well, you're fucking from Indiana.

Starting point is 00:44:49 Uh-huh. And as you berate cardio, more stairs start to grow to where you have a full path all the way to the flight. I pick up cardio, go to the top, and throw him off the side. A- A- Avatica Davartee. Deepada Kedavati. No, it's all coming back.

Starting point is 00:45:08 As you toss cardio, cardio is high enough up where he just explodes. Oh, no thing. Okay, so be careful of that. And you are, as you climb up, you are inches away from the flag. Oh, great. Okay, so be careful of that. I walk up, groceries, you're with us now. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:45:27 I'm gonna, I'm gonna go and your shoulders get to the top of the flag so we get an extra life. Oh yeah, good call. Saying grocery, sorry, we killed your mom and dad or whatever we did. Crucities. Great. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:45:37 Sorry. Sorry, we killed your mom or dad or whatever we did. I take it apple. I take it apple. So you think, you think Mario and Luigi are Yoshi's model. I don't know, but I you think Mario Luigi or Yoshi's I grab an apple out of groceries As you grab an apple out of groceries groceries immediately dies that was That was it's heart that was it's heart the other thing was a heart. How am I supposed to know this apple? Oh, it's a gritty Smith and you just hear a death right off

Starting point is 00:46:04 Don't say that and and the bag of groceries shit so I I'm sorry fuck I'm sorry I killed all of your friends They're such a jerk and the flag is inches away. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna get in your shoulders I'm gonna get the points here we go. Okay, okay Here's it Aaron grabs it very top of the flag You're almost for a moment. You're almost sitting on the flag and you hear paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming and it gets me. So that's what plays when you're sitting on the flag and then you slide down.

Starting point is 00:46:33 You see an extra life go up to your infinity circle and shrug and then just like, you slide down and waiting for you at the bottom the game sort of turns back into hang him it turns back into your living room Waiting for you back in your living room with the flag still sitting in the middle of your room is Molly and she is there weeping crying. She thought that she lost you She holds out to you from behind her back. She gives, she, she gives you a bag. Um, you're skeptical because, you know, that Molly's, um, uh, you know, been a little rude to you before, a little mean, wouldn't let you play. Um, but as you're, Aaron said no good bitch. That was no. No. Okay. That's what you said. But, but Molly, uh, hands you a bag. What is it? You take the bag. There's a real bag.

Starting point is 00:47:23 There's a real bag. And, and you look inside the bag. Wow. Aaron's got a real bag. And you look inside the bag. Aaron's got a real bag. Oh my god! Are you serious? It's an Nintendo 64. Where did you get this? Well the bag says the exchange on it so I'd guess that he bought it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:47:42 Oh my god and it has been Jo Kuzumi! Are you serious? Aaron's work? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and a little cartridge. I should have done that. This is Banjo Kazooie. This is really nice. And as you're appreciating the gift, you hear a message from Molly. I'll play it for you. Did Molly record it? Are you kidding?

Starting point is 00:48:19 No way! That's crazy. Hey, Erin, it's your sister Molly. Um, I'm glad you had your fun, but I've been waiting and I need some pink juice and cheese sets. So, you better get back to work. And don't forget the dish towel. I like the way it looks. It should be draped over your left arm or running a professional establishment here. So you need to get it right. Okay, love you, bye. Oh my god, I'm crying. I'm having a little riddle. The most embarrassing podcast

Starting point is 00:49:01 to cry on. So you and Molly embrace and hug and you wake up back in Chicago current day, present day, you're in your apartment. The microwave is clean and still in your bed as you wake up, you're still clutching the Nintendo 64 with Banjo and Kanzooie, those years to keep. This is a favorite episode of all time. You guys.

Starting point is 00:49:23 Aaron's genuinely crying. I don't deserve this. So Aaron, you live a wonderful, happy, long life. We celebrate Aaron, credit's role. We see the makers of the game. Still stuck inside the game. It's... Oh my god. Kind of watched all of this.

Starting point is 00:49:40 It's still stuck inside the game. I like to start to tap all the glass. Oh my gosh. As you tap on the glass, the two shoe boxes of apple sauce topple over. Oh. You're stuck inside the game and you see a doorway appear. There's no riddle to be solved. It's just a regular door almost to like a an apartment or a condo.

Starting point is 00:50:01 You go through the door and inside is a man who looks like he's been expecting you. You suddenly look down and you realize that you're wearing overalls. The same overalls that the cardio brothers were wearing. Oh, God. And the man approaches you. What took you so long?

Starting point is 00:50:17 What do you mean what took me so long? Huh? How called you hours ago? What? I have a toilet that's backed up full of shit. You're a plumber, right? Uh, I do- You're with the cardio, bros?

Starting point is 00:50:27 Do I have a plundered in my hand? Uh, suddenly a plundered does appear. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm a plumber and I'm- Great, I have a riddle for you. What clogged my fucking toilet? I know, a big shit, you just- Ding, ding, ding, big old shit. Yeah, get to work.

Starting point is 00:50:42 Okay. You have a job, right? Yeah, I guess I'm a plumber. Mm-hmm Do I look up and I Do I still have infinite lives as you look up the sideways eight that represents infinity goes upright two and eight it goes down to seven six five four three two one and The one starts to kind of shake. Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess I guess I'll go clean the toilet for you, sir.

Starting point is 00:51:07 Great. Oh, this is a lot of shit. This is all from you. This looks like maybe like a family did that. Nope. Just you. But I take all kinds of shit. What's your diet?

Starting point is 00:51:20 Big shit, little shit. And GFUZ is stuck in the game forever. I'm so excited! Right, right, Nintendo, gravity. It will start at Nintendo, gravity. It's a new, such a new, Nintendo, gravity. It's a new, such a new, Nintendo, gravity. It's a new, such a new, Nintendo, gravity. It's a new, such a new, Nintendo, gravity. That is one of the... This is definitely my favorite episode of all time.

Starting point is 00:51:59 Thank you so much. JPC deserves it. JPC deserves it. JPC deserves what he got. It's a new, such a new, Nintendo, what he got. JPC needs such a Nintendo battery. Actually, I just thought of a question. This started a backtrack slightly. JAPES, you can answer this for us and only you can answer this.

Starting point is 00:52:20 If JAPE riddles bite someone, does that person turn into a JAPE riddles? That person turns into a corpse. Even if it's just like a bite on the toe? Yeah, it's like last of us, like two hours later, you're fucking dead. Another question, does J.P. Rittles show up in mirrors? Yes, he's, it's a long video, it's like a six minute video, he's briefly in it. Justin Timberlake, Justin Timberlake does a little dance, and then he could see J.P. Rittles eating half a raccoon. And I do quarter of the fridge. They couldn't cut it out. They only had that one shot of Justin doing that dance, so. This actually brings, this is a segment, Aaron and I came up with

Starting point is 00:53:00 just now in the moments. This is called Inside the Improv Studio. Of course, Aaron and I are joined here today by our guest, JP Riddles. JP Riddles, how are you today? I've been better. So, JP Riddles, what is your favorite curse word? Bisquick! What's your favorite sound? What's your favorite sound? What's your favorite sound?

Starting point is 00:53:19 No, I think it was, huh? I didn't. Oh. JP Riddles, what do you hope to hear? What do you hope the first words are? You hear from God the moment you enter heaven. Vito! What's your favorite smell?

Starting point is 00:53:33 Fart! JP Riddles, if you could have coffee with anyone living or dead, who would you have coffee with? Dead. JP Riddles, if you hadn't the advice for any young person who wanted to become an actor, what would you say to them? Do not eat floor cheese J.B. Rittles, thank you so much for your time. See where am I? What why have you brought me here?

Starting point is 00:53:54 Put the bag in my hole. I love if you could have if you could have coffee with anyone living or dead Is phenomenal Let's get into it. So this is... So for this first thing, we need some energy. So what's gonna happen is, just to this sort of rhythm, like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, That's fast. We're going to list animals doing or holding something.

Starting point is 00:54:21 So we might say a snake within egg roll, 20 eagles, fuck king, right? Does that make sense? Oh, hoarse with a Trump pit. Doing something or holding something. Yes. Gotcha. Okay. And it could be any number of animals, like you said, 20 eagles. We're just going to try and yeah, can you explain it one more time? So literally any animal doing anything. Okay. Okay. Okay. So the examples I gave were a snake with an egg roll, horse with a trompit,

Starting point is 00:54:48 20 Eagles, Falk King. Got it. Here we go, da, da, da, da. A prairie die with a hand grenade. A chinchilla with a McDonald's bag. A fox with the cup of coffee. A dolphin with a mustache. A zebra with a cocktail.

Starting point is 00:55:04 A dolphin with a thoda mustache. A zebra with a cocktail. A dolphin without a mustache. A monkey with a hand grenade. And that brings us to... Wait, wait, what are you guys doing? That brings us to our very first animal parade. We would be the two animals that do that. And our six things that we did. I want to play against.

Starting point is 00:55:22 Well, you said something that reminds us of parade. A monkey with a hand grenade. That brings us to our segment, Animal Parade. This is a segment within a segment? No, no, the name of the segment is Animal Parade. The name of the segment is Animal Parade. This was all the lead up to me announcing it. Oh. Okay, fine, but can we do that again?

Starting point is 00:55:38 That was so fun. So versus getting into the segment, you'd rather replay the intro? It's so fun! Wait a second, wait a second. You guys are the fucking worst. Wait, that's not the segment, that's the intro. I thought this was the segment.

Starting point is 00:55:52 I love that. Literally before the podcast, literally before the podcast, I said I'm going to introduce the segment. The only thing I ask is to go with it, and you guys go, what is that? What is that? What is the fuck? Would we not know that that introduce the segment. The only thing I ask is to go with it. And you guys go, what is that? What are you gonna do? What the fuck would we not know that that was the segment? We embrace it with open arms, having no idea that that was the intro of the segment.

Starting point is 00:56:11 I thought that was the segment. I love that segment. But hold on, who said grenade first? Do you think I would just explain a game, put a title to it, and that's the first engineer that, ugh. Did I say grenade first? Did you say grenade first?

Starting point is 00:56:22 You say grenade. And then I stopped it to say animal prey, because that's the name of the segment. But how did you know I was gonna say grenade first? Did you say grenade first? You say grenade and then I stopped it to say animal prey because that's the name of the segment. But how did you know I was gonna say grenade? I didn't. Holy shit, and that's amazing. That's why I stopped it to move into the segment, but I swear to God you explained it like this was the secret. I regret nothing. Okay. Can we play again? Oh, I'm gonna throw up. All I know. Here we go. KC. KC, do not touch this stuff.

Starting point is 00:56:53 I really, really, really feel through it. Move it. A cheetah with a cactus. A horse with a whisper. A kitty cat with a boat. Beaver doing push-shups. A monkey with some lemonade. An ego with some pink lemonade a bat Missing its dad a ride no with that a superiority complex

Starting point is 00:57:20 Animal parade is a segment I'd like to introduce So animal parade is a segment I'd like to introduce. Can you also name the same thing that we just did? Yeah, can that be the Addles Mad segment? That's always how we get into animal parade. Okay, love it, love it. Okay, we're ready. What do you got? I used to be Addle, Nama Clown, name Maddle.

Starting point is 00:57:38 Okay. When I see the scene I wanted to see before, I know that a good amount of time has passed and it doesn't make sense anymore. Addle, I want you to be Ben Franklin. I'm gonna be the key, and JBC you're gonna be the kite. This is amazing.

Starting point is 00:57:52 Addle's been Franklin, you're the key on the kite. Okay, just go outside here, nice, healthy storm. What? It's raining. Shouldn't we go inside? Oh. Ben, what's the end game here? Like, what's gonna happen to kite in me?

Starting point is 00:58:08 Okay, well I, before I put you in... I'm getting old wet. Yes, that's the point. Before I put you in danger's way, in harm's way, I should explain myself. Of course you know that I have syphilis, right? Yo, could famous swallowing. Yeah, we saw you get it.

Starting point is 00:58:23 Sorry about that. Famously old. And I'll tell you what, you are you get it? I'm sorry about that. Famously, I'll tell you what, you can't cure it by wiping it on a kite. No, what? Or a key. I thought third time with a charm for both of those. But all the Philadelphia is going to know me as the man who cured syphilis.

Starting point is 00:58:38 What I'm gonna do is put the key on the you, the kite, put you up in the air, you'll be a conductor a catalyst for electricity What's electricity? Well electricity is I know what the electricity is I'm a wet in my beautiful you're the Tesla girl right? I'm the Tesla girl. I'm the cyber truck. Oh wait, it's starting to thunder and lightning. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, we're flying in this guy.

Starting point is 00:59:11 Ben. Ben, we're flying. I'm certainly up here. Ben. Now, attract some electricity. Attract some lightning. Attract some lightning. Ben.

Starting point is 00:59:21 I've never attracted anything by a lightning. Ben, Ben. Except an old man who wiped his genitals on Ben. I've never attracted anything by a male lead. Except an old man who wiped his genitals on being seen. When stimulated or agitated, you can see the blood vessels swell with blood pumping through them. It starts with the letter B and the inside of it is filled with a clear, almost transparent fluid. Butthole. Ad fluid. Butthole. Adolesces butthole. No.

Starting point is 00:59:48 Beehive. Beehive. No, it's not a beehive. When stimulator? Okay. Yeah, when stimulator are agitated, you can see the blood vessel swell with blood pumping through them. It starts with a letter B,

Starting point is 01:00:00 and the inside of it is filled with a clear, almost transparent liquid. Is it a blister? It's not a blister. That's a really good guess though. Bunyan? Not a bunyan. Is it on a human? It would be on a human, but it can be on an animal as well.

Starting point is 01:00:15 It could be on anything that has this particular, I guess, anatomy. It's on a boil. It's on a boil. Particularly anatomy. I don't want to, yeah, I'm going to let you guys guess a little. I do want to have a hint for you. Yes, please. So when it says it starts with a letter B, this is...

Starting point is 01:00:34 There's an adjective to describe the body part and that is what starts with the letter B. Booty butt. Booty butt. Booty butt? Booty butt. Yep, you can see the blood vessels swell with blood pumping through the body booty butt. It's not booty butt. Yes, booty butt? I'm sorry. Yep, you can see the blood vessel swell with blood pumping through the body booty butt.

Starting point is 01:00:48 It's not booty butt now. An eye, and a eye. A eye. You got half of it. What's the adjective? A, a, a, a, a, a or B, and the inside of it is deal with it clear, almost transparent fluid. Blurry eye. No, what's a condition that can affect your eye?

Starting point is 01:01:12 Oh, take a guy. No, it's to the blood vessel. Blood shot eye. Blood shot eye. And, er, I do want to see a scene. Yeah. You are going to be the super villain blood shot, and Adela and I are your henchmen and you are describing to us your Super villain plan as bloodshot

Starting point is 01:01:32 I'm turning around in my chair Gentlemen bring me my cape and my Mimosa. Yes, bloodshot here is your Mimosa and here is your Mimosa. Oh, we both Minds no pulp you fools I didn't give you thank you I just You slapped the babosa's out of our hair. Yeah, that's what I did sure Gentlemen, it's almost time for our plan. Yes. Yes. What is our plan? Oh, you know it? But I'll tell you anyway

Starting point is 01:02:05 You do so love it's like cat to pat on my lap. Well throw him to me. Here we go. Here's the cat Oh shit, you brought the cat to yes, I brought oh, oh wow look at this you pick you deal his choice on cats Throw both cats at me and I'll pet both as I All right, they both went out the window behind me. But they hugged each other in the air, so they were with each other when they... But they're fainted. And by that, I mean, we're on the first floor.

Starting point is 01:02:33 They're fine. Cats are scary. They're actually love. Look at that. Kind of beautiful thing. Well, here's my plan. Yes, plunge shot. Do the sound of thunder every once in a while while I'm saying it.

Starting point is 01:02:43 Cableum. Well, I saw, we saw your notes on your desk and from what we saw you want to put corrective lenses on your desk. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Lens is on the moon on the moon Yes, the man on the moon can see better that step one of my plan

Starting point is 01:03:06 Step two of my plan is I take away all the eye drops Away from every town so every high teenager will go home and their parents will know Well, of course, I don't know if you know this my name is by Zine That's what you had me be named. So am I endangered? I named you? Slap. Yeah, you slapped a mimosa to my-

Starting point is 01:03:31 That was mine, that was my personal mimosa. And now you don't get to enjoy advisees. And my name is Clear Eyes as well. Full Hearts. Can't- Alright, let's do this, gentlemen, let's do this. Wait, we only have two steps of the plan well there's a tenacious plan I'll tell you the rest in the car bring the

Starting point is 01:03:48 two cats who are in love and all the most of you can carry say it out of your Humpty Dumpty and James here is other egg friend who's daring him to go on top of a wall I feel better on the ground I just want to see on the ground no man you're never gonna be anything if you stay on the ground. I just want to see on the ground. No, man, you're never going to be anything if you stay on the ground. Take it from me, Macko Mor, you got to put yourself out there, man. You got to go... Well, high, go off, go hard. I don't want to make anything, I mean, I took your advice and I went to a thrift store and I bought pants. I'm an egg with pants, I think that's enough. I think that's...

Starting point is 01:04:20 I think that's... that's me important. No, man. I think I'm... I think people are noticing. Every people are noticing me. Every egg is wearing pants nowadays. Mine, do you want to know something? I was born. I was born Charles the egg. I changed my first name to Humpty,

Starting point is 01:04:36 because he said it was flavorful. No, I said, I said Humpty has flavor. Look, I've already taken two pieces of advice from you. I changed my first name to Humpty, and I bought pants. said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I'm so sorry. Look. I'm gonna pop some tags over that. I'm gonna break your show. If you don't hurry I'm gonna pop tags. You only have what is this? In 1819? $20 in your pocket. Yeah, it get out of my pocket. I don't run through your pants, man. Hold on Sorry, I've been a tailor for 55 years. I'm not sure how to make you these pants. Oh

Starting point is 01:05:24 Is it cuz I'm an egg? Yeah, the shape of. Oh, is it Kazama's egg? Yeah, the shape of you, it's confusing. It's sort of, you have these little legs that have seemingly come out of nowhere. But how far up the egg do the pants go? To your eyes? Let me, if this is helpful, let me point to where my genitals are. I'm picking you up in a bar. Put me down!

Starting point is 01:05:44 How far? Put me down. How far up the egg to the pants go? Is it? Is it? Is it? How far up the egg to the pants go? God. I mean, all the way.

Starting point is 01:05:54 Oh, huh, me dumped it. Say, I'm gonna dump you. I'm gonna dump you. I'm gonna dump you. Something iconic just happened by accident. How far up the egg to the pants go? How far up the egg to the pants go? How far up the egg to the pants go? How far up the egg to the pants go? How far up the egg to the pants go? Say, Humpty and Dump your... Humpty? Something iconic just happened by accident. How far up the egg to the fans go?

Starting point is 01:06:09 Humpty, Dump your... Hello, next t-shirt. It does sound like Humpty and Dump me. Humpty and Dump me. Humpty and Dump me met up at a bar. Humpty and Dump me kicked out of my car. What? Very far. Okay, now is A time to wrap for Puzzie.

Starting point is 01:06:24 Ooh, okay. Okay. Starting with JPC, I went to time to rap for Puzzie. Ooh, okay. Okay. Starting with JPC, I went to hear a rap about birds. Okay. Remember, it must be as a robot. That's a robot. A-B-N. A-B-N.

Starting point is 01:06:38 What time is it A-P-M? If it's time to go to the club, I will fly there with a buzzard. That's my rap. Great warm-up. Now get into it. Oh yeah! No! And I decided to give you each robot names to welcome you into the family.

Starting point is 01:06:57 Sure. You're going to be Kuzbot, a robot whose everyone's cousin. What am I, Puzbot? You are lovebots. Got it. Cuzzbot here, and it's time to fly. If you like birds, then you like I. I am one with feathers and wings. Paul McCartney.

Starting point is 01:07:15 Enjoy, have he say. If you like what Cuzzbot slings, then you like the bandwings. It's got Paul McCartney in it. I like him. Oh, do you? In it. Wow, really double down.

Starting point is 01:07:30 Yeah. Paul McCartney. You also be doubling down on Paul McCartney. Yeah, I got really too focused on Paul McCartney. It happens sometimes when I rap. Oh, okay. It's your game to steal here, Aaron. Aaron, do you like Lovebot?

Starting point is 01:07:44 I do like Lovebot. Great. Do you like love bot? I do like love bot great here you go love bot Please wrap for pussy topic of birds birds My favorite bird likes to eat he lives hot sesame street Stop stop the competition, stop, stop it, stop it. No, no, everyone's funnels get so tight when I start to wrap it, everyone dives under the table. I'm not wrapping, I'm not wrapping. I was falling it off to say that you have one. That was amazing.

Starting point is 01:08:20 That was really good. Aaron, you are amazing. That was awesome. Love, love, love, love. Why does everyone dive under the table every time? That was really good. Aaron, you are amazing. Love, bot, love, bot, love, bot. Why does everyone dive under the table every year? Because it just so happens when you start to wrap there are bomb warnings.

Starting point is 01:08:33 Yeah, it's more of an inconvenient time that you're wrapping with everything else. You guys, I try. So I want to see you singing. So we all know Jack and Rose are the famous couple that was canonically on the Titanic. Draw me like one of your French girls. So Jack and Rose were the epitome of romance

Starting point is 01:08:52 and young love on that ship. We're gonna see the two of you and you are Brak and Lowe's. So you're like Jack and Rose, but like way less romantic, way less charming or good looking and you're both like you're not young And we're catching you on one of your heated moments. I Think I think I think what I did was I pinched myself in the growing region with my belt when I was sitting Care what you say you know getting on this door

Starting point is 01:09:24 The belt don't know wait in the water what I was sitting. Care what you say, you're not getting on this door. You're done in it. You're done in it. It twisted. You're done in it. It twisted. You're done in it. It twisted.

Starting point is 01:09:32 There's no thing that you could say that's going to listen. It's sympathy for me. I am a growing injury. Let me on the door. No, I'm on the door. I'm family owned loves. Excuse me. I'm in one of the life rafts.

Starting point is 01:09:43 I think you could both fit on that door No, no that gentleman that gentleman. I do not like his look. I do not like his mustache I do not trust him. We'll wait for the next one mustache Okay, mustache Yeah, we're the next door to come along If I could if I could feel down into the water I would be checking for my wallets because I do not like the look of that gentleman. I did not like you mustache.

Starting point is 01:10:08 I do not care for the mustache. And you'll die in that water before I do. I swear to God. One of us is diners, not wolves. I, you know what? I can't wait to die. Because when I die, I'm sick and straight to the bottom. I'm going to the devil and I'm telling him that you bleach your teeth. Not if I die first. Not if I die first. I'll tell the devil you bleach your teeth. First of all, I don't I don't bleach my teeth. I kiss you after you bleach yours. I get resent your will bleach but it is not it is you know what? You're like the little bird that's inside of your crocodile. I'm sorry. I'm dying the bottom of the Atlantic.

Starting point is 01:10:48 Same. Like the little bird. The crocodile. All right, last one. Futility, water fowl. Utility, water fowl. Utility. Okay, commentan Yeah, it's comments mom get night everybody Water foul fuck like a duck Which means I didn't get wet because of the way my feathers are You fucked me like a duck. It was the worst lay out of my entire life. You have a corkscrew penis You I fucked like a duck. There's a lot happening below the surface and nothing happening up top.

Starting point is 01:11:30 It's like milk off a duck's back. You, utility, is that what you said? Futility. Futility. Futility. Waterfowl. Swansong. Swansong.

Starting point is 01:11:42 Swan, run, swansong. Run, what are some waterfowls? So we have swans. We have ducks. This isn't just set up to do swan lumps. Is it? No. Okay. Thank God. Yeah. Party foul. Contractually. We'll not do that. Aaron is ducked right. Contrapually. I am contractually obligated. I am contraptioned obligated. I built the stake. I'm an inventor. Aaron is Aaron is Dr. Correct word part of it. No. Is swan?

Starting point is 01:12:07 Goose. Uh huh. Goose. Lucy Goosey. What's good for the goose? No. For the water bill. Lucy Goosey.

Starting point is 01:12:15 What's good for the goose? I have a question for you guys. This is actually a question that Mariah asked me the other day. Would you say that you're more Lucy or more Goosey? Like where do you land on the Lucy Goosey's back? I'm more Goosey because I get uptight in terms of like, I don't like to, I don't like, I have very specific things I like and don't like. I'm more Lucy because I'm constantly tricking men who have very little hair with a photo. To kick a photo? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm more Goosey and it's like a real reason like Adelaide said, because I'm

Starting point is 01:12:46 way more uptight and stringent, and so Aaron's the only one that did a joke answer for that. And you also, you also do... Yeah, I'm the one making too many jokes on the podcast. Fuck all y'all. Oh, I hit my wall today, motherfuckers. Ah! Oh, you want to hear Lady Go Crazy? Put her on a riddle podcast for 120 fucking episodes!

Starting point is 01:13:09 Put her in a closet that's 150 degrees! JPC more on this! Have her sweating! We're all at a break, so I know what to do! God damn moisturizer! Oh yeah, have her do riddles! I guess we should just listen! Have her do improv with boys who are so good at yes and!

Starting point is 01:13:24 But they get on a riddle podcast and they do know but they talk about but First I'm gone. I'm going. I would never say Adel has no butt that guys. It's junk on the truck all commutes baby It's but don't get down season whatever he walks it I Aaron's actually like she goes the result of the election We Do you broke me do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you I think that's what the podcast is now. Honestly, I was looking at taking an episode and cutting a trailer out of it. It just like maybe like a two minutes of like

Starting point is 01:14:31 what we do best, and that might be it. That might be our new trailer. No, no, no, no, no. We should send that to perspective guests. I'd be like, would you like to do it? It's just like an improv riddle podcast. I just said the bad. Oh God, guys, I'm begging you. No one take that out of context. riddle by the

Starting point is 01:14:48 God guys, I'm begging you no one take that out of context Aaron the next time you I'm the next time you audition for something will you do what you just did as a mon Oh, yeah 100% It'll be for like a Folgers commercial. I know just be that the best hard to do Donkey losing my mind six months from now someone is gonna send us one of those like as hard a doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Thank you so much from those amazing. Wild goose chase. What do you think you're gonna break the wall? I liked that clip, Joe. Yeah, oh, my favorite one was the third clip. And also the seventh clip. That was, I liked the one where you were all,

Starting point is 01:15:41 oh, I'm doing this joke. And J.B.C. was like, what about this one? And then I went, I'm here too. Can we laugh? I had three favorite moments. It was a scene where Adel was being very funny in the scene. My second favorite was the one where Aaron was being very funny. And I know this makes me such a jerk,

Starting point is 01:15:56 but my third favorite, Casey's editing. That was my third favorite. They were great moments. It's fun to think of each clip as a present we unwrapped with our ears. Well, listeners, we hope you enjoyed it. New listeners, we hope you go back and check out all of our previous catalog.

Starting point is 01:16:12 And if you enjoy this, please check out our Patreon, patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. We hope you have a wonderful holiday. Oh yeah, and especially because we have a very special JP Riddle's Christmas episode on the Patreon coming this Friday. So that should be fun. Oh yeah, that's gonna be something

Starting point is 01:16:26 you're gonna wanna listen to. I have to lay down after we recorded it. Any who's a Merry Christmas into all a good night. Well hold on, well hold on. Now one of the renders that never gets to go in the sleigh, right, is like a little run to a render that nobody likes. It's all main G and it's covered in sour cream, and here in that ranger's name is on Jupiter!

Starting point is 01:16:49 Ho ho ho ho! Is that a root ranger name? Or over? No, it's not a root. I'm heard it in the middle of the video. Vocal created by MLB Card Amus and MLB Naboris. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, That was a hitgun podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle - #127: Best of 2020

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