Hey Riddle Riddle - #130: Papa Bear's Honey

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

Okay, hear us out: what about a podcast where three improvisers sorta do riddles? Sound good? Well, open your eyes because it's real! That's right, it's this show. Oh, we almost forgot, it's not just riddles. There is so much more. For instance, we've got an Italian conversation, a domesticated dinner, a date that goes horribly awry, an ice-breaker that'll break your heart, lives flashing before some eyes, another dinner date scene, two golf announcers having an a-typical day, and this fall's hottest new shows. It's #WiddleWednesday and we love to see it!All riddles today are from a book by a fan that you can purchase! Get James' book by clicking this link: Riddles for Smart PeopleStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. And we're ready to run. I'm ready to run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run.

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. We get some purple stuff. Ooh, we got some favorite riddles. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want the purple stuff, I want the purple stuff. Purple stuff. Purple stuff. Oh, sorry, I don't think you heard me. We have some Hey Riddle Riddle. Let me just make this, aren't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what did you say before that?

I said I have, oh, Jay, I have purple stuff. I'm happy. Hey, I want, I want purple stuff. Who, I just threw purple stuff in here. That's not, it's not even a name. It's just a descriptor. You're just, it's robot-tussin. It's robot us in it's robot us in we want to drink robot us in oh is this is this like a you you're gonna like trip we hope if we drink it off okay what

you take some you had it first you just down like the half the bottle I don't want any what you're you're good you're. You're good. I have the Morn's Juicer. Hey, Rital Rital. Hey, hey, also man. Good luck. This is your first time. Oh, my name is Adelora. I'm poison control. You would be talking normal. You're ruining the illusion of audio. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm a robot. And I'm orange juice. What do we do? And I'm JPC, and this is a rental podcast.

And if you are just joining us because you were stuck. You butt-diled our podcast. You're butt-hitting all the wrong buttons, and now you're here. If you were texted us and said, baby, I'm so sorry, please take me back. If you were just unfrozen and you're a caveman, you're trying to catch up on the last 40,000 years of human evolution and you've got to this point, this is a riddle podcast. We are going to be doing riddles on the podcast for your amusement. But it's also a good podcast.

And yeah, art took a turn for the worst. This is good. This is where it's hitting you that art is dead. This can't possibly be a little podcast. No, I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. Please, freeze me back again. I want to see my wife. I want to see my child.

Well, I can assure you, they are long dead, my friend. They died 40,000 years ago. Oh, man, that dead, my friend. They died 40,000 years were not gonna get more than like 10 more years. Anyway. Your wife and son are dead. Welcome to the Riddle Podcast. Let's get started. I think I read something this can't be true.

I feel like I read something that was like, when the pyramids were built, there were still woolly mammoths. Is that right? That can't be right. Yeah. The pyramids were closer to something than they were to Cleopatra,

means, at least. That hurts her feelings if they weren't that close to her. Yeah, close. The only thing that is important for you to understand is that even the 200,000 years ago, early, early, early, early, early people is like 40 million years off from dinosaurs.

So people, dinosaurs, never had any crossover. But I think like alligators and a Wolley Bayer with this stuff probably they probably did. I'm one more video made by a paranoid YouTuber away from believing that the pyramids were made by aliens. Aaron, are you going to become a flat earther? I don't know. You know what I am though? For 2021, please be a flat-erther. Aaron, dinosaurs don't melt at that temperature.

Yeah, you guys, I'm taking some stepping stones into being a conspiracy theorist. I'm like all on board for the Royal Family Killing Diana. Who do you think shot JFK? Princess Diana. See, it's his whole thing. The JFK one is like, he cares. But if it was something cool, a princess die shot JFK, that would be, and she has like an eye patch

for so recently, like it's for the future, like that shit would be cool. I also believe every single conspiracy theory about Dick Cheney. What are, oh, I don't know any of these. So like, go YouTube.com, and type in how do I become a worst member, a worst member of society,

and then all of these conspiracy theory videos will pop up. Do you listen to, what is it like the desert oracle radio? No. I think that you would like that. I'm gonna write it down. Yeah. Ken Lane, Desert Oracle Radio. I think there's one that one time superlated like four in the morning, I was with a friend

driving from New Orleans to Chicago and it came on, I think it was called Coast to Coast and it was like a talk show host and they had Collins and this one was called. Yeah, that space goes by good. And it was a little thing. And it was a little thing. A little thing. And Brak, there's a guy named Bragg who just screamed and everyone thought it was funny. But there's this, there's like a Collins show

and this woman Collins, she's like, hey, my dog's possessed by my husband again and he keeps trying to like, you know, kiss me and then he screams and there's like blood coming out of his eyes and the host, every single call was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, oh, I hate it when that happens. Like, treated everyone as if they could not be more honest, it was absolutely wonderful. One of the best things I've ever heard.

What's he told? No, thanks so much for your call. Now, here are six pens, none the richer singing. Kiss me. Oh yeah, it's Casey K. So I'm sorry. Kiss me, I am the ghost of your husband trapped inside a dog. Oh, I'm more excuse. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle.

Let's hear some riddles, JPC. Who's our old husband, Doggie today? Dude, I don't fuck go out of the riddles, they've been doing this. I don't fucking care, dude. My phone workers called me an old husband, Doggie. Aaron, JPC, Aaron, hey, I turned off the button to where listeners can hear us. Oh, thank god Why don't I have an idea? Why don't we call and sick from riddles?

But we're running out of excuses. I'm gonna call riddles hold on. I'm gonna call riddles I've also I've already lost 30 or 40 about grandparents hold on Mr. Riddles oh This ring, this ring, this ring. Oh. Mr. Riddles. Oh, hey Mr. Riddles, this is Adel. This is Adel and JPC and Aaron are with me. Oh, I don't think we're gonna make it to Riddles today. Oh, you sound, you sound just awful, Adel. Yeah, it's just, I, you should absolutely,

you should absolutely take the day off. It looks awful too. Oh, Aaron, you sound awful as well. I look pretty good still I'm sick too. Oh JPC no no no you should definitely take the day off Oh, we're sorry. We would love to be there, but before you do and before you do and I'd love to give you the day off I just have a little Ritter for you Just when I think I'm out who has two tiny dicks At a squiggly little braid it is out of fucking pto the three of you numb nut Skull shits, okay?

We have only two dicks and one brain between the three of us. You're doing your math wrong. How did he know I had two tiny dicks? You have at least four dicks and no brains, asshole. I have custom pants that hide them very well. This guy was dead off for B-Doh Dic-Doh, right? Ha ha ha. 2021, maybe D-Doh Dic-Doh, right? Ha ha ha.

All right, I'll find I'll do riddles. It's not okay. The 10 man's looking for My god one of them's like They're like I'm looking for a brain. I'm looking for a heart. I'm looking for some courage. What are you looking for Todd? I don't want to say I don't I don't want to say well no Todd no Todd. What are you looking for? Please we're all going to the wizard The dick was inside you the whole look for that dick. I Gotta find that dick honestly. I am tied here. I got a pretty good life I what I could use is a forty five dollar red lobster card

Oh my god because every time I go I want to get a couple things and then the bills 61 bucks and I'm Okay, you I could eat again at Chili's. Oh my god that's amazing. I'm not gonna do the rest. I'm not gonna get in the church. I'm truly not being paid enough to do such work. Love has got to focus me the lilies. We're all at work today.

We have to do riddles. It's a riddle podcast. But I have really actually fucking fantastic great news for the two of you. Yeah, absolutely. So back in November, someone wrote into the show, their name is James A. Kennedy, and I did get permission to use their full name, because they told us that they had written a riddle book. They found the podcast, they told their friends that they had finished writing a riddle book. One of their friends directed them to the podcast.

They devoured all the episodes and an embarrassingly short amount of time. They ate or back cataloged? They ate fuck. I ate the back catalog! At least they're gonna turn into a butterfly, a very scary nightmare butterfly. And I corresponded with James back in fourth of a while. James was nice enough to send me the first.

Did he sign it? Yes, he did. The first two volumes. James signed it. He also wrote to JP Riddles. It's no swan lumps, but I hope you enjoy from James Kennedy. And James is very nice. The book is called Riddles for Smart People.

One hundred plus original puzzles to solve with friends, volume one. Throw another window. Yeah, it's not gonna work for us. I believe that you can get this on Amazon. So if you, I look again, it's called Riddles for Smart People by James A. Kennedy, K-E-N-N-E-D-Y. If you like the riddles that we're gonna do on the show today,

go and buy James's book. We'll include the link. Hold on a minute. If I remember, what's the name again? James Kennedy is the son of mask. I'm sorry. The son of mass actor Jamie Kennedy. This is Jamie Kennedy, the person who killed Princess Die. Got it. So you saw my video. Yeah, so we're going to do some of the, all of the riddles in this book are all original riddles. And James included this cool author's note, which I think every riddle book should honestly have.

With three things, one, these riddles are more fun with friends, and obviously we've got that part covered. Co-workers, they're basically friends, you just haven't met yet. Two, the riddles, the riddles are written for adults, but there's no like bad language, but some of them are involved like murder or untimely death. So, yes, just question. But, there's no but fucking in this.

And three, all of the following riddles come from James's brain. Fewer even true stories, however, there are seven plus billion people in the world, and I'm not vain enough to think that other writers haven't had paranormal ideas. Any similarities are unintentional. I think that's a great thing to include in your riddle book because, yes, like some of these riddles, someone else has probably said like a similar type of riddle. But these are all from James's brain written by James and I can't wait to crack it to him.

Thanks again for seeing this end. Thank you, James. Congratulations on finishing something too and making something that is a very beautiful way to crack it to him. Thanks again, James. For some of this. Thank you, James. Congratulations on finishing something, too, in making something that is a very beautiful way to move through the world. Now, that sounds like James. It sounds like James wrote this book before they even knew about the podcast.

So James actually had no idea that one of my favorite things is including this, which is all of these riddles have titles. I love a riddle with a title. Hell yeah. OK, what if these were all fucking bad, and then we just like laid into James for like fucking well that was like because James A Kennedy is a numb the plume or Adderify. Uh oh. Okay, so this is called the masterpiece. Austin was a gifted painter who graduated at the

top of his art school class. Yeah, he was a self-admitted perfectionist. Each year, his paintings became more and more intricate, and he spent countless hours on his latest artwork. At last, his masterpiece was finished. He went home satisfied and had a celebratory steak dinner with his wife, Amanda. Austin returned around 2pm the next afternoon to show Amanda his handiwork as he never liked to see He never liked her to see his paintings until they were completely finished to shock and dismay The painting had vanished overnight if the painting wasn't stolen

What happened snowman So are you saying mr. Policeman mr. Policeman? Please catch me before I kill again That's not fair. All right. I'm gonna get this. Okay, so can you I'm uh whoa damn Aaron Collin or shot big 2021 industry? Damn can you read it again? I want to make sure I have all the details Correct before before you read it again. I do want to see a scene. Okay Before you read it again, I do want to see a scene. Okay. Thank you.

JPC, you're going to be an artist, maybe like a who painted Mona Lisa? Is that DaVinci? Oh, DaVinci. DaVinci. So you're going to be DaVinci. Aaron, you are the actual painting, the Mona Lisa, and you've just been finished,

and then you have a conversation with DaVinci. My master piece is finished. I am smaller than I thought it'd be. Oh, a bunch of... Well, French. Da Vinci, you're... Oh, Italian. C-I-A-L.

Ciao. Oh, I've only ever seen it written down. Okay. Is pronounced Ciao? That's crazy. Cool. What you're speaking to me, how is this happening? Oh, the Vinky. You've been around the paint fumes so too much.

You painted me during a lightning storm, so that could be it. Am I smiling or no? It's more like a smile. It's like a smile with your eyes. It's not really like a facial smile. Yeah, in my mind you were like pissed off about something and I was like trying to like figure it out but it was only like peeing you off more than I did couldn't like, you know, I should have known.

I should have known what it was about because I get it. It was out me. Okay, so you got into a fight with your wife and then came and painted me? Look, I painted this. I really just wanted to get that big stick dinner with my wife, and so I painted this. I was gonna bring you home I said, um, a baby. I'm a sorcerity. I don't remember what I did, but I paint you with some painting of a smiley woman Maybe make a stick for Leonardo, maybe a pig mater, maybe a pasta for sure. I would be a little bit nervous. And not a knock.

Everything okay in here, it's a me or a brand. I heard you talking to someone. Yeah. Wow, Banzhou and toothpaste to you, sir. Oh, and a real thing from. Hi, guys. My latest is kind of like an invention in the painting all in one. It's like a puppet ventriloquist. Hachu!

So, I have a little boy who's hiding behind the painting. Who make all the sounds of the painting? Okay, I'm gonna take off, but just remember I'll be there for you if you ever need me. When the rain starts to fall, I'll be there for you. This is why you stopped my red. Get out of here, you old fuck all It wasn't originally, but then I was like oh wait a minute Hey happy coincidence happy coincidence my favorite Adam Stanley movie. I love wishing people a happy coincidence So this guy made a masterpiece He went home to eat a steak dinner with his wife Amanda and then next morning his his masterpiece was ruined or was gone It was gone, dude. It was gone. He had vanished overnight. It had to have been an ice sculpture. Oh

Did it have to be an ice sculpture? Literally That's a really great question. That's a really great question. It's a great question. It's a great question. It's such a great, great question. Or was it ice cream sculpture? No, it was nothing that melted. Invisible ink. Aaron, no. Okay. He painted it on a steak and then they ate the steak.

Read the riddle again and then I will get it. He's a steak painter. Can I give you some hints actually? Please. So, hit one was the painting was enormous. Hit two was the painting was not on a canvas. Elephant. Oh, okay, he painted it on a wall and then it rained.

Ah, graffiti. You guys got it. Hit three, Austin preferred the medium was spray paint. Austin was a graffiti artist and his work was on the side of an office building. He hadn't received a permit to paint anything there near my residence had complained. That morning the city council had sent workers to cover it up with gray paint. I love this guy uses spray paint and he goes home to his wife and has a stick dinner because you gotta keep Austin weird.

This guy's a fucking weirdo. It's saying. This guy's insane. Took, okay It's saying, it's saying. It took, okay. I wanna see a scene. Speaking of Austin, who has a very non-traditional job but goes home to a very traditional nuclear family stake on the table, a thing with his wife,

we're gonna see a scene where, Adel, you are going to, you're gonna be preparing a meal for Aaron, Aaron is just coming home, but Aaron, you have like a very non-traditional job. Oh, welcome home, honey. Grab a seat and I'll start bringing out the apps. Ah, you are so good to me. This is so lovely. And you picked up the kids from school. Oh, that's right. Who did I marry? The nicest guy?

You married me. Who's the nicest guy? No, I'm not gonna go you. Oh, sorry. Blurp! I just poked your belly. Oh, I love being in love. Oh. Go ahead and just kiss your nose. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.

Oh, better not. I should probably shower. Oh. For you, kiss me. Oh, just got I killed a lot of baby ducks today And then she was the air was the air was the cow She killed the what you paid me, Doug, as just a total nonsense. Yeah, that's just what I do to get out my rage. I just love the idea of like,

who likes being poked at the stomach? Oh my gosh, Sean and I watched the best worst movie we've ever seen. It's a sequel to a movie called After. It's called After We Collide. It's on Netflix. It's one of the most watched movies in the country right now. Nope. Nope. And it's the one of the worst movies I have ever seen. You guys, it makes no sense. Every choice they made. It was like a choose your own adventure and they made the wrong choice every time. Sounds like a review crew. You have to watch it. It is lash out loud. So funny. Can I ask what this has to do with somebody being poked in the belly? Well, I'm about to tell you.

It's basically soft pour porn the whole time. And there's a hole. Please watch it. Watch it. Watch it. Now where he just pokes or in the belly button. And we were like, what is this? That is very weird. Does he make like a doorbell sound or anything? Yeah, he goes ding-dong, boink-bong-gee-boinkie. That feels like a moment where they're like, what should we do here and the director's like, just have fun with it? Like I feel like anytime the director says,

just have fun with it, that's when the worst choices come out. I think it's just a general choice, right? It's not a specific choice. Like what do we do in the scene be like, I do something sensual. Yeah, okay, poke, poke belly of that. Like, what do we do in the scene? Be like, I do something sensual. Yeah, okay. Poke, Poke belly of that. He's an alien. And he's like, this is it.

It is the least sexy thing I've ever seen in my life. Is this my penis? Speaking of the least sexy thing you've ever seen in real life, this next riddle is called the TV star. Hell yeah. Zach with a CH was an up and coming young actor with spiky blonde hair and a great comedic timing. Okay. Exactly.

Obviously this about me. He scored a lead role in a major sitcom and became immensely popular overnight, although his confidence bordered on arrogance, which sometimes rubbed his co stars the wrong way, they didn't deny Zach's talent. The live studio audience couldn't contain their laughter when he was on stage. Was this a good looking guy with fucking great comedic timing? What the fuck, James? Why would you write this?

Fuck this guy, I hate this guy. One Friday morning got James, I like James, I just don't like Zach. This is Zach guys, sticking to my car. Tell us. Yeah, very jealous. That's the whole undertone of what I just don't like Zach. This is Zach guys. We're sticking to my crotch. Jellies. Yeah. Very jealous. That's the hole in there. Two on a one. One Friday morning. Yes, Aaron. Jellies to this guy.

He's up in comic. One Friday morning, Zach went into work early to run through some lines before shooting began. A production assistant found him around 9 a.m. dead. Oh, thank God. Okay, good. That's all I can. Jellies. I'm up to knock him down. You brought me back.

Zach's body was found in a room with no windows. The only door to the room was locked from the inside. His head had been crushed with a blunt object, but there was nothing in the room that could have killed him. How did the murderer do it? Okay, he's a golden retriever. Spikey, blonde, hair. He's a golden retriever. Spiky, blonde, hair. Let me go to the answer.

Aaron, Zach is a golden retriever. What do I win a car? Is that written in invisible ink? It's written in, I'm sorry. It was written in graffiti and hold on. The range is, I'm sorry. That was a joke answer. JBC was gonna give me a car.

Okay, I, I, I have an answer that, that's gonna sound like a joke, but I'm serious. Was Zach killed by a hypnotist who spoke to him through the door and made him slam his own head into the wall? Adel, that is a great guess, but it is not the correct answer. And that, that brings us to a scene.

Aaron, I'm gonna see a scene right now where Adel and I, you went on a date last night and you went on this date, it was amazing. And we want the deeds we want to know what this guy looks like. And everything that you use to describe, none of the characteristics that you describe are human in any way, where you describe this man. So how did it go? Oh yeah, last name. Oh my God, I am, you can probably tell

that I'm sort of on cloud nine over here. It was the big game with Simon, right? Yeah, you guys I think. I met my husband. Oh my God. I think I met my husband last night. Well, tell him, tell us a little bit about him. What did it look like?

What's his personality time? Yeah, because he's been chatting for like nine months right? Nine months. Same. Finally met in person so obviously Right out of the gate he's a floating orb So like Oh like his first thing on my check like his personality like his like his bubbly or his sign is like

Areas are you guys are so funny? So floating orb check. I'm not funny. Can turn. Why did you give me the check? I'm not paying for it. I'm living on the island from lost. Can sort of turn into anything.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It makes a clicking noise. You've been talking about this that guy for like forever. Nine months. Yeah, for nine months. To my very funny friends. Just a station period.

Maybe we should like ask like more specifically, like what, how are his teeth? And also real quick, can I just ask, why did you say he can turn into smoke? He lives on an island and he can turn into anything. Doesn't anything cover smoke? Why specifically smoke? Well, he like is mostly smoke.

He's like smoke most of the time and can turn into things. Oh, he's smoked that can turn into anything but his resting state is smoke. His teeth are nothing because he has no teeth and he's the smoke monster from lost. Okay, I still don't get a good idea for this. Um, and he paid. Oh my god, Kelsey Kelsey lock that down. That's a keeper. I love you. See, guys, where are we? Kelsey has low standards.

I think about all the time when Adel said, because the guy who gets sucked into the engine and the pilot of last, and then Adel to make it, put a positive spin on it, he said, but Aaron, for a moment, he was flying. I think about that twice a week. We recorded that episode like a year and a half ago. Join the review fell on him.

No, and so I don't think finding the murder weapon is gonna help you. I don't think that is not gonna lead you to the answer. He's on the set. Oh, a blunt object, a bomb. Aaron. Uh, Am I right?

Oh, it's a set without a fourth wall. Yes, and you are correct. Aaron Am I right? Oh It's a set without a fourth wall. Yes, and you are correct Zach was on the set when he was killed in a traditional sitcom the sets have it most three walls Although the door that was part of the set was locked the set did not have any windows the murder simply walked past the cameras and killed them Yeah, I'm detective Aaron had it again case and hose and guess what guys? I'm out of my mind of my glass in front of my eye. Why are you bringing those ants? past the cameras and killed them. Damn, Detective Aaron had it again, case cause. And guess what, guys. I have a mind of my glass in front of my eye. Why are you bringing those ants?

Ah, because I can. Good news, the murderer did not know what the camera was running, so let's, real quick, let's just play the tape and this is after, we're not gonna obviously see the tape of the murder, we're just gonna play the tape afterwards so we can get a little dialogue of who, the killer, what, so okay, here we go. I'm a good boy.

I'm a good boy. Hey, what's this golden retriever doing here? Why do you have that watch and you're swinging it back and forth? Okay, Aaron, holy shit. You were right, the killer was a golden retriever. Wow, Adelaide. I meant to say I'm killing all these ants because this town is a lot of baby ducks. That's what ants were marching is about is about Dave Matthews crushing baby ducks.

Crushed all of the baby ducks. Oh, I thought you were talking about the actual ants go marching song. I will. To the ground to get out of the rain. Doom, but doom, but doom. Oh, so how never talking about two different actual Ansko marching songs. Yeah, you're talking about the Dave Matthews one

and I'm talking about, I'm sorry, the Dave Matthews cover. Yeah. Yeah. These are so far very good retils that I am enjoying very much. I know they're almost too good, right? These are just like good.

Yeah, these are better than our average riddle. Ah, better than your average riddle. You guys gotta get this book. The next riddle we have here is called the Unlucky Fisherman. Doug, an experienced fisherman was called in annoyed. He had been hunched over his rod for a minute. Same.

He had been hunched over his rod for many. Same. He had been hunched over his rod for many hours and that a single... Been there. Alright, everybody gets one. Per episode. Where your fucking episode? Are you Riddle Spider-Man? Everybody gets one?

Come on! You cool with that Riddle Spider-Man? Baby, you know what? Don't talk about Riddle Spider-Man. he had been hunched over his rod for many hours without a single bite from a fish, not one. Yes, thank you. He called his wife Lynn to complain about how unsuccessful the trip had been. He told her that he planned a camp out where he was, eat the tuna salad sandwiches she

had packed him, toasted some marshmallows on a campfire to cheer himself up, and then get some much-needed sleep. He would drive back home in the morning. When Doug didn't arrive home by the next evening, Lynn called the police to investigate. Despite triangulating the location of his last phone call, Doug's body and his fishing equipment weren't recovered. What happened to Doug? Solved it, solved it immediately.

This motherfucker went ice fishing, and he built a fire on the ice. Now, the ice in ice fishing is a frozen lake. So when you start a fire on a frozen lake, ice going to melt, you can go under the water and of course there's currents underneath there, they're going to pull you all the way to the ocean. All right, I am going to see a scene between the two of you before we find out if that was correct or not. Okay. JPC and Adel Adel You two are best friends and JPC you just fell through the ice while you guys are ice skating And you both get a little too distracted and Adel you forget to help him out of the ice

Oh no. Oh no Peter you fell. Oh you're in the air. Are you okay? No, get out of there. I can't I can't okay, no good place for there's no steps I need like I need a ladder. Do you remember? I don't know not a lot of people talk about this show Do you remember step by step that TV show? Yes, I remember step by step. Oh, what was the nephews name? You need to help you need to help me out Maybe Cody or something don't worry about that just go get it go get a rope from right over there Oh, oh Alfred Hitchock. Oh so good rope. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll take Alfred Hitchcock. It's all one take rope It's so good. It's a beautiful movie really well done. You're getting distracted. You're getting distracted I'm moments from death in this ice I have a really long rope. Do you need one?

Alfred Hitchcock Oh, I love it. He's the director who taught modern directors how to put suspense in their movies. Oh, I'm sorry sir. I confused you for him. You look a lot like him. Yeah, turn sideways real quick. Now back to the front. Yeah, you're not there for a teach kick. No. Okay, have a front. Yeah, you're not there for a cheat cake. No Okay, have a good day. Thank you Now what was I doing? I think I was walking away Adel, of course, you are incorrect the answer is that Dog was a golden retriever

Who was who was ice fishing, uh, unfortunately the warmth of the campfire cost the ice beneath him to melt and crack sending him and all his equipment to the bottom of the lake. Adely, you were so fast. So you're telling me this dog retrieves gold? Oh boy. A friend fried all this rice. And speaking of rice will be rice back after these messages. Too good of a transition, let's stall, let's stall. It's 717!

I looked at my clock like, is it? 904. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Addle. And I'm setting up a whole website to prank him.

Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking Addle. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and to see it online, whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience. And so let

you think for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here. Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC, and I want to set up a whole website to prank him.

Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you

time and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. New and easy to answer, and And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business

and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content on my prank website, the prank activity. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace.

Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for? I can't remember what the website is for. Frank. With Squarespace. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey JPC, hey JPC. What's up, Madel? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her. Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase

of a website or domain. Oh, she's back, she's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey Adeline JPC, thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an

impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually.

So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Mm-hmm.

Because sometimes Aaron and life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want, owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online. So it's designed to be convenient, flexible,

and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist. And you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's

putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. Mm-hmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.

H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. R-I-D-e-l-p dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e. R-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the two d. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to, I know it's JPC's birthday. And we're all so excited to talk about him. But I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny.

Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Uh-huh. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years way before they were a sponsor and it helps me so much especially around tax season. Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well, quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy.

Clean, clean, clean. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Clean, clean, you didn't clean it. Over three million. Well, clean, clean looks off. Over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money,

saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets, don't we? Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink. Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketm money dot com slash riddle That's rocket money dot com slash riddle rocket money dot com slash riddle and tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money the website

Dragon money. I'm like, like, like, like, like, like. Hey, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, Rick, oh, Rick, oh, Rick. Oh, sorry, listen to those ads, you came in with what I was doing. Hey, hey, Pety. Uh-huh. Pety?

Oh, you're not. Pety, it's. Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's, it's, Pety, it's, it's, Pety, it's, it's, Pety, it's, Pety, it's inside the ice. Oh no. Now you have to deal with me and you have to chill out. Why are you pissing all over the lake, bud? I'm trying to get it towards you but I

don't have a very good range. Why don't you freeze for a moment? Aren't you famed Batman villain, Austrian actor an actor over his car? No, that's doggie husband. Come on doggie husband more riddles, please. All right, I have to go back to my wife I'll be back to finish you off Not gonna fuck him that guy's gonna jerk you off. Yeah, he's hunched over his rod. I love I love I'd turn into my freedom being like that's gonna drink you off I think that guy's gonna drink you well. How do you feel? Hey, man, you better start running Okay, this one is called that last one is called the unlucky fisherman love these titles This one's called the missing wedding guests should have been called the stupid fisherman

the missing wedding guests. Should have been called the stupid fisherman. Alright James. If you light a fire on a frozen lake, you're not unlucky. Come on. Okay, that may be a revision for the next printing of the riddles for smart people. I slapped a polar bear in the face. I'm so unlucky.

That's that victim mentality. When Mark and Vicki met, it was love at first sight. They were absolutely crazy about each other. Although some people said it was impulsive, they got married after only four months of dating. It's not that bad. Impulsive would be like three weeks, right? Yeah.

Six minutes. Their springtime wedding was beautiful, and the bride and groom couldn't be happier. They're extended families got along extremely well, and were totally supportive of the lover's decision. However, neither Mark nor Vicki's parents attended the wedding ceremony. Why didn't their parents show up?

So it says their extended families got along extremely well, and sit into the wedding ceremony. Why didn't their parents show up? So it says their extended family's got along extremely well and we're totally supportive of their decision. I have a thought of what the answer is, but first I have to ask you both a question. If you hypothetically, you're both single, seven years. Okay. Can you imagine needing someone knowing that you love them

enough to marry them after just four months? What's OAR and if you can't, what's the shortest amount of time you could possibly fathom that happening? Here's the thing, I could totally see that happening and I would be okay with that happening to me or to other people, but I cannot state this enough. There is no such thing as love at first sight. So that I do not believe in marrying somebody after four months God bless marrying somebody after two months

God bless I that could happen to me could happen to anybody else love it first the site is a fucking lie love it for smell though absolutely because that's fair amounts baby that's the body's magic so you just think you can be attracted to someone at first sight mm-hmm absolutely I can see I can see so many scenarios where I would meet someone and marry them in four months, like scenario one. I meet someone, let's say it's a kind of party, and then the news breaks on, and they're like, there's an asteroid headed for the Earth,

it'll be here in four months. Hold on, you see a scene? Scenario number two. I'm at a party. The news party. They say the moon is gravity's been reversed. The moon's gonna crush into the earth in four months. The scenario number three, I'm at a party. The news breaks on.

They say all the dogs that have been hunting you have got free from the psychiatric ward. And they're gonna be here in four months. I wanna see a scene. The assages broke and the news is gonna crush into the earth. So you two here at four months. I wanna see you soon. The asteroid just broke and the news is gonna crash into the earth. So you two are at a party. You see a light in space.

It's nighttime, you see a light in space coming towards earth. You realize that it's an asteroid that's gonna crash into earth at some indefinite amount of time. And you two are at a party and you just met and you're kinda hitting it off and we go from there. Oh yeah, I love Maroon 5. I love all of their, yeah, so good, so good.

Sounds about Jane. I think you're part of Maroon 5 and you can agree or disagree. I love that all of their songs sort of sound exactly the same. Yeah, oh my God. I just love that too. Oh my god. Um, I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but the way that your hair looks in the moon, holy shit.

I'm sorry. It looks like shit. No, no, no, you look great. I thought that that was moonlight, but that, what is that? That looks like it is getting closer to the earth. Oh shit, that's an asteroid. That's an asteroid. Oh fuck, okay, this might be the adrenaline talking,

but do you wanna have an entire relationship in like 10 seconds, 20 seconds, something like that? Yeah, I mean, let's go for it. What, hold on, let me just, I'll voice some of my trauma. I've always thought that I look more like my uncle than my dad, and I think that there might be something that my parents weren't telling me. I started a fire as a joke and I was kid and I killed probably like 130, 140 people.

Let's see, this is my roommate and this is where I sleep. This is where the magic happens. Okay, so that's that. Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a poor addiction and I sniff glue. Hi, I'm really in love with your son. Thank you so much for making him. Okay, so that's pretty good. Well, I didn't in love with your son. Thank you so much for making him. Um, okay, so that's definitely really great, but you're welcome. Great, so we did that part. Um, uh, you're being so controlling. You're being I need space. I need space. I wouldn't have to be so controlling if you didn't leave so much of your life up to me and have it be my responsibility. I feel like I'm your mom. I'm going on the motorcycle for two months. I'll be back when I go in the motor saying you can get hurt Um dad why are you fighting go back to bed go back to bed mom dad I got accepted to Stanford

Oh My boy is gonna be a Stanford man You know we renew our vows on in Hawaii. I have loved you since the moment I met you and as maroon five once said I'm the I'm dying. I'm gonna be dead by the end of this Sentence, okay, that is a plane in the sky It was nice video as well. Would you like to have sex tonight? I'm saying that you know. Okay, good, good, good. But I did kill 140 people. I am a did you deported? I do. You can't stop us, Adel. Only tap my throat. Is this thing? One

of my favorite moments is I started a fire as a joke and it killed a hundred people. Um, JBC, the answer is these are two old people who met an old folks home fell in love and that's why they had a fire under their butts, started as a joke, to get married and that's why their parents weren't there because their parents had passed. Mark and Vicki are 90 years old and their families love each other and honestly, four months, that's pretty long

to wait when you're fucking both 90 years old. Does it say they died on the Titanic? Does it? I'm sorry, it doesn't say that at all. It says they died from golden retriever. I would love to do a joke thing, but this one is the first one that doesn't have a joke answer about it, so I'm so sorry. Yeah, I guess they honested the book.

Yeah. I guess I think I could see myself meeting someone and being engaged within like 10 or 11 months. That would be a crazy situation. That seems like I would have to really know. Here's the thing, what's stopping you? Like what is it that is the difference that six months could make? Is it that's how long you think it takes

to get to know a person or what? Well, realistically timeline wise, because I don't think I'd ever want to be engaged to someone if I hadn't lived with them first. So I think that's big. Yeah, that's big. There needs to be at least, that's what's hard though, because I'm like, am I moving in with someone after like five months and then I have like another five months?

I'd have to be, we'd have to have mutual friends or something because I'd have to be like a hundred percent sure they're not a murderer. That's a lot of what dating as a woman is is just being like, I hope this guy's not a murderer. Time will tell. I have a friend who married someone after 12 days of dating them. Are they still together? No. Oh, okay. Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? I'm sorry, I should say. I have a friend who, upon hearing this, will not be my friend anymore. Yeah. I was like, I was gonna ask me who it was.

Yeah, the thing is though, your chances at a long lasting relationship are better obviously than more you know each other. But there's nothing, there's nothing like on its face that says that after four months, like there's one thing that's like, are you dating someone that casually you live in separate places for three years,

or are you spending every moment of every day for four months with this person? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can, you can shock a lot of that into the system because there's some shit that if you're just around someone forever, they really can't kind of like hide from you or it's harder to hide those things from you. I think that's why I feel like quarantine has made added like six years to everyone's relationship because that's how long people spent with their significant other.

Like it's quarantine. So quarantine is like, that's like if you ever watched one of my favorite, probably my favorite reality show is Big Brother. And they, so many people have showmances and then end up being married or like in long-term relationships with the people they meet in the house.

Even if they've only, like there's one couple that, I think the one guy got voted out after like six days or something, but you are in this isolated room with nothing else going on, and for seven days, 24 hours a day, so you get, it's like, it's like a pressure cooker, like you get to know them. And you're encouraged to like talk, right? Like the producers want you to like.

Oh yeah, yeah. You have to socialize. So there's people who are like, been with somebody in Big Brother for seven days and they know that person, they know each other better than like some people who have been dating for two years because there's like that pressure cooker situation.

So if I was on Big Brother, I think I would last for like four days and then people would be like, okay, it's time to like vote someone off of Big Brother and someone would be like, well, I think I'm gonna vote JPC and they'd be like, who and they'd be like, the guy who's playing fucking Starcraft 2 in the corner, 24 hours

a day, he's just drinking Mountain Dew and playing Starcraft 2. Like, what is his, what is his, has anyone talked to them? He's eating all of our Pringle chips. I got, I got about five feet from him and he spit what felt like acid at me. Let's get another riddle. This one is called the busy restaurant. And it does say it's because busy Phillips works there. Maureen owns a downtown restaurant that was always packed with people.

Every day, both regulars and newcomers pass through her doors. She managed a staff of 20 part time employees just to keep up with demand. She considered the restaurant a tremendous success. However, despite the popularity of her establishment, no critic ever reviewed her food, nor did she ever turn a profit from the business. Why was it Marines restaurant more lucrative? Soup kitchen.

Adel. Soup kitchen. The answer? Sorry, soup kitchen. I'm sorry. Adel is incorrect, Aaron, you are correct. The answer is soup kitchen. The answer, sorry, soup, soup kitchen. I'm sorry. Adel, Adel is incorrect. Aaron, you are correct. The answer is soup, kiss it. Oh, I'm sorry. Never mind. I get that backwards. Marine owned a soup, kiss in, which was serving the economically disadvantaged. You know what? I think we got to get some ruthless restaurant reviewers into these soup kitchens, giving them terrible reviews

so they can shut down. Yeah, some antidepress. Get Gordon Ramsay. Get Gordon Ramsay in there. Do you know what I'm making? I'm making it idiot soup. You just dumped hot soup on both sides of my fucking ears, Gordon Ramsay.

I'm trying to help people best I can. I want to see a scene. JPC and Aaron, you've been dating for maybe a few days. Aaron, you've gone over to JPC's place where he has cooked you a meal, starting off with some soup, and you are a professional food critic, and you can't help but let your profession take over.

Okay, I'm just about done here. I guess I also never asked What do you uh, what do you do for work? I'm smelling notes of what is this? Mmm tomatoes that have gone bad and what is that horrible stench? So I guess I never really asked you what did you what have you what do you do for work? So I guess I never really asked you what did you what have you what do you do for work? Yes, I think the decor is a little too kitschy and a little too What what's the word for it?

He's trying to make it seem like it's a home the decor tried like like a guy like a guy in his mid-30s at home I'm a second grade teacher and I love it. He didn't bring bread before the meal. He sort of just launched into facts about himself. Hmm, and the wine is not wine. It's a tap water. He got me in handed to me as I walked through the door. One star. I'm sorry, would you like wine? This is is water? I can get I was gonna break some wide

I have wine if I do not recommend this eatery It is not good enough for my taste buds nor shall it be for yours I will take my coat and be gone. Oh Please I mean please please please please Please don't leave. Uh, look, I'm gonna be honest with you. I know that we don't immediately click. I know that, you know, your lifestyle and my lifestyle may not mesh well, but I would

really love it if you would just try the dinner that I made and sit here and just attempt to eat it. And even if you don't like it, just stay here for like 30 to 40 more minutes. Well, my friend Ricky robs your place. Ugh. Oh, oh, sane. Damn it. Oh, I'm so tired of guys robbing my place.

I'm on a date guys robbing my place. I'm on a date with their roommate. The perfect crime. To rob somebody's place and have your friends say their name and what they're doing. Hey, your place got robbed, but you got a bad dinner. Not a bad day for old Aaron. Let's get a little ribble. These are great.

The next ribble is called the Showdown. The tennis community was a buzz with excitement. After an intense season, Paul and Eric were finally scheduled to play each other in the final match of the tennis tournament. Fans had debated all season about who was the superior player, and it was time to find out. The match was grueling, and both players gave it their all.

Before it was even halfway over, they were physically exhausted and dripping with sweat. The game took multiple hours and went to the full five sets. Ooh, somebody knows tennis. Not me. But you could say seven sets, I have enough to idea. But Eric overcame his opponent just as the floodlights were turning on around the court. The crowd went nuts. Paul took him the first place trophy and proudly displayed it on the mantle.

If Eric won, why did Paul get to take the trophy home? Eric died on the court. He gave it his all. And he died on the court. We're going to see a quick scene, just an ever-so-brief scene. Aaron and Adel, you are both playing announcers in that little golf announcer box, and I'm going to be a golfer who is taking his shot and dies while taking their shot. Taking his shot as a golfer, you clearly know your sports? Five sets and ten is a bitch, I know that.

shot as a golfer. You clearly know your sports. Five sets in tennis. Bitch, I know that. Hi. All right. He's on your back with Lucy Gauferson and Jeffrey Markers. Oh, sorry. I'm putt. But Jerry's. Oh, yeah, you're filling in for Jeffrey markers. What are we looking at here? Okay. We're on the seventh green. It's happening here is. We're also plating, we're sorry, we're in the middle of a game of hide and seek, which is why our point is, our life is just where we're all this way.

We don't wanna be found, we don't wanna be found. So we're on the seventh green here. Looks like Dylan Sullivan is gonna run away with this tournament. He's taking out his driver and, he's prefer doing the whole thing, put, put, put. Also unrelated, are you getting those hide and seek pee impulses? Like now that we're hiding, you kind of have to pee.

What is this? You know, when you play at hide and seek and you don't have to pee at all, and then all of a sudden you're hiding, and then you have to pee more than you've ever had to pee in your whole life, put, put. Ooh, sweetie, I think this is a your thing, and you assume it was universal.

Okay, and I assumed it was universal. Alright he is picking his club and okay. Oh and he's clutching his chest. Now we haven't seen him do this before but this might be a new technique. Maybe he's just trying to get a feel of own body how it's gonna rub up against the club. He's motioning for help but that might bestition thing, so we're just gonna let him He is face down in the sand trap of course nobody is coming to help him because this could be golf and we don't want to disturb him But famously golfers do not want to be disturbed so he's having he is midstroke. It seems He's mid is midstroke it seems. He's midstroke, midstroke. But I have peed a little bit in my pants.

I hope I am found soon so I can use the bathroom. I fully peed, I fully released my pee. I think he's dead. I'm like the wolf man and Dracula. That is not universal. Not everyone fully pees when they're announcing a game Yeah, it looks like the the Amulets is on the scene of course they've turned off their sirens if they don't want to disturb them in case he pops back up and

Is deciding to take the shot And they got it very well done. Oh very good very good Very well done. Oh, very good, very good. Oh, the ship found us. I got a whole load one that works today. See, aren't you an EMT? Well, so why'd you kill all those ducks? My favorite thing about tennis is the,

I don't know what they call it, like the grunt, like whenever they hit the ball, there's a typical, there's some sort of noise expelled, which makes total sense. But there's some, I think, I think incredibly popular a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of It's the funniest fucking thing in the world. If I played 10 hours ago, hee-ah! Hee-ah! Yeah, that's a great trick to demoralize your opponent. I mean, Jack has. No, I make a fart noise with my mouth.

Every time I hit the ball, I would say, Dad! Dad! You were amazing. Okay, he did it. He did it. He did it. Okay, but do you guys know who wins the showdown? Which is the title of this tennis riddle? Was it a doubles match? So they both won?

No, they were versus each other. It was it was a Paul versus Eric. Eric won, but Paul took the first place trophy. Paul won the match. But Eric won the war. That's right. Tennis is a battlefield. Thank you, Pat Benotar. And you forgot your book. Boots. Yes, the war.

All right, JBC, go to bed and then we'll pick this up in the morning. Boots. These boots are made for walking and I just had a stroke. What do you see? These boots are made for walking and I just had a stroke What are you saying these boots of I they're gonna boots all over you? Is that correct was it he just won the match but not those not to set or the set not the match? No No, he he he won he won all of it. I don't know is it what is it sets within a match or match within a set?

I assume I assume matches That's within a match. I assume matches like the whole Shabang and sets are, right? He won the match. Okay. Okay, give us a hint then. Give us a hint. Give us a hint then? Uh, all right, so hit one, Erich's win, Erich won, was completely legitimate.

Hit two, there was no animosity between Eric and Paul despite the rivalry. Oh, was it? They get along perfectly well, the two of them. They have a rivalry, but it's not, there's no animosity. I wanna say Siamese Twins. You're on the same team.

The, the, I said doubles. The hit three on all of these riddles, by the way, is like, this is the answer to the riddle. Like it gives you the answer basically. So I'm the the hit three on all of these riddles by the way is like the answer to the riddle like it gives you the answer Basically, so I'm not reading hit three because I think that you guys are better than hit three Can we so let's ask some questions sure place was They were playing against each other and this was the winner Regardless of standings the winner would take first place right so it wasn't like a match where it was like fourth place versus first just a score whoever wins wins it all and Eric definitely won it all and it was legitimate. Is the answer I want to say

15 love? Addle legally I don't know if that is tennis so I have to say yes. No it's a new Disney Channel TV show it's so good it's about this freshman in Legally, I don't know if that is tennis. So I have to say yes. That doesn't do it. It's a new Disney Channel TV show. It's so good. It's about this freshman in high school. All right, Adel, I want to hear the, oh thank God, kids are getting work as actors. And Adel, that's the scene is you're doing

the voiceover for the commercial of this. Coming this fall to Disney Plus. It's 15 love. Meet Amanda. She's 15 Love. Meet Amanda. She's not like your typical high schooler. She's 15. And she plays tennis. And she gets to school every day around tennis.

She's late to school. But instead of going to the tension, Mr. Frobloster has her tryout for the tennis team. Okay that was great. Now we have a script. This is a Disney show. This is we need to do the same voice, same voiceover. This is a new Disney plus show. Groot is going to become a dentist. It's called dentistry. Okay. okay. Coming. When is it coming out? This fall. Coming. This fall. Baby Groot is all grossed up.

This sapling story is about a dentist grunting around, giving a Groot Canal. Can I say that? Groot, it's on the page. It's pleated as is. Giving a Groot Canal. Because he's practicing the page. It's pleated as is. Giving a group now, because he's practicing dentistry. Vin Diesel, and I can't read this name here.

No, you're doing it right. Vin Diesel, that's really correct. Vin Diesel and Susan Sarand and Starin, dentistry. That was awesome. We actually just have one more voiceover. We need you to do in the same voice. Uh, this is a new, uh, uh, Nickelodeon show called Jeremy Torture. And it's a boy who takes a wrong turn at summer camp and ends up, uh,

doing torture for the United States government. So here are the side and go ahead. This winter, a little kid sets a fire as a joke and ends up killing 130 people. Me, just you would torture. Okay, we love it. Now one more. This is just the pasta pass. This is a pass you could buy an olive garden to get it for the pasta.

Go ahead. Okay. This is the fall. Okay. This fall. Step into Olive Garden. When you're here, you're hungry. You actually legally, we can't say Olive Garden.

Oh, because this is a third party pass. Oh, is this like a fast pass? Like you get your pasta before other people? It's a third, it's counterfeit. It's a counterfeit pass made by a third party that you can use at Olive Garden. I guess I'm actually- We actually make them here with markers.

It's sort of like when you give a, when you're a kid and you're poor and you're, you make a little, like, one-do-the-dishes. Yeah, one-do-the-dishes, it's sort of like that. We make them, we're hoping that they'll catch up. Yeah, I actually, when I was a little kid, I didn't really understand what those were. So I gave my mom 10 coupons for 10 back rubs.

And she's cashing them all in today, so. Same. Oh, very nice. for tit back rubs. And she's cashing them all in today. Seeing. Very nice. That would be a funny sketch, wouldn't it? Is someone showing up? Like a mom showing up at someone's work? And being like, I'm cashing this in today. And it's like all of the chores.

It says never expires. I would love if you did like those like, Hoki, you know, homemade, homemade, hey, here's your present. It's like one free back rub. And then you just had one coupon in there that was at any time, anywhere, we will go to Mexico. I will take you to Mexico. I'll put you in the car.

We'll drive. Any time anywhere. Good to kill one enemy. Yeah. One enemy of yours will simply disappear. But it's in that, it's in that like it. Scrawling friends. Like cards over the eyes. Right next to five free hugs. Kids, if you're listening, get your parents' gifts. One problem will go away. one problem will go away.

I didn't have an answer to the showdown. Wait, this is still the tennis one. This is the showdown. This is the tennis one. Yeah. Oh, boy. So how did two people play against each other? The trophies on the line, whoever win gets first, Eric one, but the other guy walked away with what's the only thing? Paul took home the first place trophy and proudly proudly, proudly, displayed it on the mantle, proudly displayed it on the mantle. Did Paul steal the trophy? No, Paul did not steal the trophy.

He wanted the trophy for something else. It's no, it's this is Eric's trophy. Get me out of here. Tell me the answer. So, hmm, what kind of, okay. So this is Eric's trophy. Eric is not mad at this, by the way. Eric is not mad that Paul is a-

Two brothers. Probably no, not twin brothers, but that's, there's a world where that could be the answer, but that's not the answer to this. Oh, oh, what are the names again, Paul and Eric? Paul and Eric. Paul is Eric from the future. Yep, if you change all the letters, not rearrange, change.

Change the E to a P, R to a, I do a U, C to a L. Eric and Paul are the same name. No, they're not each other from the future. They're not siblings, they're not related. They're me. They're me. there in the key wins the day Eric and power married

You can play tennis I feel like that's a fucked up answer I know we hired you to give like a people love to play tennis. Tennis. Coming this far. It is deep bass. There's a real ad right now for beats headphones, which is this black woman who takes an uber to a Confederate statue and then dances in front of the Confederate statue. And it's something like the most epic clapback

beats headphones. And I'm like, is this what advertising is now? So with seeing that today, I would not at all be surprised if I flipped through Instagram and it was like, you can be gay and play 80s, but you what? And I'm like, what is going on in the world? Like, why are companies doing That's wild. I feel like hold on to go back to the answer

I feel like that's super fucked up in terms of If you and I were married and I beat you to win a first place trophy and then I said like hey sweetie Can you take this to the car like that feel like the biggest fuck you like let's think it along That seems shitty to make your partner who you just be Carry your true James James thought about all this because he put it in I yeah, they admit well playing tennis many years before although Paul lost the game He was immensely proud of Eric and wanted to display the trophy in their shared home Yeah, I

Mean people like tennis do Well Venus and Serena are they they're a married couple right? Like, three months ago, three months ago, we should know what? Three months ago, Mariah won a fucking podcasting award. Um, and I come home and see it, I fucking threw that thing as far as I could, which wasn't far. I barely made it, I barely made it like four or five inches so, I nudged it. It didn't even topple. That really showed her.

I hope so. It just moved to a slightly different part of your mantle. Yeah, she was asleep at the time. So I don't think she noticed. Anyway, congratulations, Mariah, on funniest. Whatever. Whatever.

I, I'll say it again. I say it once to say it again. I don't care. I don't give a shit. I think he cares, Adel. Well say it again. I don't care, I don't give a shit. I think he cares at all. Well, speaking of things we do care about, James A. Kennedy, thank you so much for the book. We're going to continue to do you use this.

What a treasure trove of wonderful riddles that is fantastic, thank you so much for that. Please people check that out. We'll link it. I will also say that I'm not gonna use all the riddles in this book. So if you want all the riddles for yourself, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to

You don't have to taste a little bit of Papa Bears honey for yourself on your own little paws, my little bears. Hold on, JVC, we need those riddles so bad. I blacked out what's happened? We need those riddles so bad, please, read them on, please. Now, these are riddles for smart people, I can write a thousand of these, this is not gonna be problem. Okay, here's two people are playing tennis, it's okay, that they're gay. It's fine, it's fine. It's better. I would love it. I would love it. They open up like gay footlocker and it's all the same stuff. It's the exact same stuff, but they're like, you know,

forget it. It's like, what are we doing? Yeah, they, you over corrected it. Now we're back to discrimination. Now we have to go to gay footlocker. You did segregation. You did a segregation footlocker. Bad footlocker. I'll bet. You did. The vibes in footlocker? Horrible. The vibes in gay footlocker? I would hang out there in a Friday night. Well, yeah, am I going in gay footlocker? You were so close.

All you had to do was exploit the global south by making cheap sneakers and selling them to white people for hundreds of dollars. And you fuck that up by doing too much. So close. Oh, footlocker. And you think to plug, doing too much. So fuck. Oh, fuck. Anything to plug at all? I don't.

I don't have to plug foot locks. No, I want to buy a pair of kids. Um, anything to plug. I cannot think of a single thing that I need to plug. I would just say, hey, it's 2021. It's a fresh start. It's a new year. I know it's all been tough.

You got this. And this year's gonna be the best year for everyone. So hang in there and it's gonna be cool. That's real sweet. JPC, anything to plug? I got a little plug. So I will give a shout out to, I had a really great experience today.

We've been doing in lockdown and quarantine, however you wanna call it. Grocery like order. So we place an order online at like Mariano's and then a person packs the grocery. So I wanna give a shout out to everybody who's working grocery stores. That, I mean, it is a rough thing

to be working on grocery stores. So thank you to everyone who does that. Thanks for the people that do the grocery delivery in the stores that make it. So we don't have to have a ton of people in the grocery stores. And shout out to anyone who's kind of working in a, I hate the fucking quote unquote essential

because the people that are doing that are not being paid what essential means in my mind. But thank you so much to everyone who's out there doing that. I really appreciate it. It's a very cool thing. And I appreciate it. And if we have listeners that are doing that as well,

shout out to you too. Aaron, you're gonna plug something or be not selfish. I'll be not selfish, I guess. I've gotten so many sweet messages on my Instagram, which you can follow and get tan on Instagram, but I've gotten so many very thoughtful, very sweet messages recently, and it's meant a lot to me, and sort of like turned some of my days around

So I'd say I want to plug if you are a fan of like a youtuber or a small creator or a podcaster or like an animator that you follow I would suggest reaching out even if you're don't expect a response Not everyone owes you everything, but just say something really really sweet and I think it can maybe make a huge difference in their day I promise that a lot of people are not getting a lot of Feedback and when they do it's negative. So please reach out to the creators You like and say yeah all the people who message me ruin my day Yeah, now Aaron I have a little qualm with that because you say you have this Instagram Aaron Keith 10 and You say follow me on it, but it's a it's a private account, so you have the request,

and then my question is, how do you know it's me? Because I have all these different accounts, you can't possibly know that they're all me, so how is not a single one of my requests getting through? Your photo is always a police horse, a cousin, or a bottle of piss. That's the same guy, that's Jeff,

he's one of my good friends. I think you got in my house. I just got an Instagram friend request from police horse named Cortland Sweatpants. That's not Jeff. That's no, that's not Jeff. That guy sucks. He says, except that he's got more followers.

He says he's 69 years old. He says he waits 420 pounds and he says he's from the planet. Jupiter! Bye forever. It's not Jeff guys. It's not you like that then you're gonna love this week's Patreon. We go back to the celebrity guessing game and there's some disastrous consequences. You can listen to that plus our entire back Catalog by going to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle and joining the clue crew for $5 a month or the review crew for $8 a month. See you there!