Hey Riddle Riddle - #132: Artificial Sweeteners

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

Here we go again! Today is a good day because we have some listener submitted riddles AND Adal thinks it’s time for Bane impressions to come back in a big way. This episode also has a lot of DRAMA- Two Time Tony spills his secrets, Adal tries to loan JPC some money, and all three hosts try to decide who gets the middle seat on an airplane. We’ve also got a field trip, a music-less concert, and two strong guys at the gym! Also Jemma we love you and appreciate you! Here-we got you flowers 💐 Starring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgun podcast. All right. I mean, I started off for Adel. Do you want to start off? I was just going to start with Bane stuff, but if you have something else, I was going to start with Bassenbake Bane, because we just said he's primed for a return. Okay, just fade Adel out here, Casey, and just put the theme right there. Alright, I'll start. I'm not going to be a kid.

I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid.

I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a kid. I'm not going to be a in ads. Okay. We can't even episode. I'm jumping on the bed. Okay. We just do a lot of ads with us waking up. I know, but come here. Sweetie, sweetie, you can't wake us up every time you're jumping. The other day at the pool, you woke your JPC and I up because you wanted to, you wanted us to watch you dive off the diving board. Everyone does that. It's not special. You're not special. I also can't even dive that well. I sort of just put my hand out like I'm trying to make a swan shadow puppet and then I just do a straight jump into the water.

Doesn't matter. You guys, it's time. It's time for riddles and puzzles. Wake up, wake up. We just did riddies and puzzles. 10 more minutes of bullshit. No, come on, not 10 minutes of full bullshit before riddles and puddles.

No, we'll start. And it was gonna do Boston Baked Being together, whatever. Boston Baked Bane. It's my most under-appreciated character. So what it is, I'll repitch it even though you were part of the episode I debuted him on. What it is, hold on, what it is, is it's Bane, but he's from Boston, so it's Boston Baked Bane, because Boston Baked Beans are like a fun snack.

I don't know what they are, they're kind of good. We're gonna have to fade you out into the theme again. No, no. So Boston B baked bane might say something like, don't talk to me until I've had my Duncan or, um, out of my fucking way, David Ortiz, something like that. You parked the car to have a job, but I was born in it. You clearly grew up in Massachusetts. Get out of my way, David or me.

You're not of my way, David or me. Well, I like it. Well, thank you. You do want it. Let's Aaron, what's the most Boston thing a human can say? You're not better than me. Perfect. Batman thinks he's wicked smart.

I hope Tom Brady still wins with the box because he's fucking wicked smart. Okay, like I said, that's my picture. This is not a typical. What I, what I, what I, what I, what I, what I beg to bring back Boston, Big Bane, because I said he didn't work the first time. Aaron literally said, Hey, Adel, do you think he didn't work the first time because that movie was 10 fucking years ago? Well, Adel, can you do anything off of Wonder Woman 1984? Is there, I mean, that's zeitgeist here, right?

That's in the culture. Yes, let me see. I just saw that two weeks ago. So let's see what I'm going to do. When Adel does that JPC, can you make me pancakes? I've been up for hours waiting to do riddies and pussies. Something...

Okay, but they're gonna be JPC special pancakes. No, forget it. Nope, it's gonna be wheat flour, no butter, and the syrup is gonna be your imagination. Oh god. Cheetara, more like... What are we doing? Wow. I'm glad we gave you a lot of space for that.

Well, anyway, all you Kevin's and Susie's and Cousie's and Seven's, it's time for, Hey Rital Rital, I'm Adorify. I'm JPC. And I'm Aaron Keith. And Boy oh boy, do we have an episode for you? Do we do that anymore? Do we say our names in front of every episode? I feel like maybe we have it done that a long time. I can't remember recording before this. Every single episode. I gotta tell you, like all of you at home,

I'm hitting my quarantine wall. And when I hit a quarantine wall, what I do is some listener submitted retals. Hey, can I ask you, Aaron? So you said that you're hitting your quarantine wall. I think that there's probably several points in lockdown where I have hit my quarantine wall, and then you get your second window, whatever. Do you know how many times you've hit your wall? I would say I've hit a wall like twice now. I think September I was losing it in the now.

I think I'm about to. When the year turned over in January, that was my second wall. And then I just, I started, I had to just do fucking new stuff to like shake my self out of it. Yeah. And what's your goal wall? If you fit your wall, do you have a new, do you set a new wall?

I'd love to be 157. That's how many walls I would like to hit. Um, so, um, my therapist said, uh, has a word for, and why people are all going crazy right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. She calls it second birthday. She goes like, if you go to someone at the end of their life and you go, hey, can you just give up eight months of your life for the greater good to make sure people don't get

sick? We're all good people. So we're like, of course. But by the time you start rolling around and everyone's about to have their second birthday and quarantine All of a sudden you have perspective that you're kind of getting a year of your life sucked out of from your life and you're missing out of your butt You're missing two birthdays and that's like a logically can fuck you up So you're not crazy everyone's feeling bad right now. Oh, I have my birthday is 11 months away

So I still have a long time before I have it. Excuse the thing about second birthday. I will say, I didn't know this was a thing, but I will say literally last night, and I'm gonna talk real low so that, Jim, I can't hear this. Even though she'll listen to this episode.

We cut to Jim, with a glass on the door of Adults Recording Closet, full of water. Yeah, go on, go on, go on. This. Yeah. I'm gonna get swimmers here. I hope it's worth it. Literally last night, Gemma was fairly upset to where there was tears in her eyes because she realized her birthday is coming up. It is March 28th and she realized she's about to have her second birthday in quarantine and she got very upset.

So I had no idea this was a thing, but I experienced it first hand last night. That's crazy. And she was just saying, because her last birdie, her last birdie, her last birdie day, where's her? Where's the birdie? She's a golfer? Uh huh. Was her 30th and she was like, I felt, she was bummed because she's like 30th is supposed

to be big. I went in like a big to-do and she was like, obviously felt she was bummed because she's like, 30th is supposed to be big. I went in like a big to-do. And she was like, obviously, I was willing to brush out aside for the greater good. But she's like, this year it sucks because it's gonna be her second birthday and her 30s and there's been no to-do. And 31's the big party year anyway.

So, everyone knows that. My therapist has something that they keep saying and it's, I have retired. And. Please stop coming to my house. Yeah, exactly. And. Please stop coming to my house. Yeah, exactly. And it's, I've ruined my couch.

How? Doesn't matter. Don't answer it. Well, GPC are you happy? We did 10 minutes of bullshit and then everyone at home is even sadder than they were when they started this podcast because I told them about the second birthday phenomenon.

Hey, if we can get 10 minutes of bullshit down to six and a half minutes, I've always happened. So, I do want to see a quick scene. This is really to push my own agenda, but I do want to see a scene. This is going to be a JPC and Aaron. uh, this is, uh, the story of Bain and Able. So we're just going to see the scene Bain and Able. Uh, can I add up before we begin this scene? Can I tell you what I thought you were going to call for? And maybe this is because I just watched Lord of the Rings, but I thought you're going to call for a scene where, uh,

the hobbits are asking, uh, each other in front of Erie Gorn, if they've heard about Second Birthday or, uh, well, now I want to see that's it. What's your photo? He's our second birthday, Mr. Frodo. He knows about second birthday. He does it. He. Oh, baby. All right.

So this is what is this? Is this a bait or something? I don't want to see it anymore. I got it. Aaron started episode. I got it. Uh, Adam and Eve are my parents. Wait, so, so here's the thing. If Adam and Eve gave birth to

Canaan Abel, who did and came murder Abel? Right, Canaan murdered Abel. I don't remember who murdered who. They're two brothers. I think Canaan murdered Abel. But then King got married. Who did King get married to? Congratulations. No. No. Oh, oh, shit. Was he registered anywhere? Oh, no. So Adam and Eve are the only humans on earth. They give birth to two shit, was he registered anywhere? Oh no. So Adam and Eve are the only humans on Earth. They give birth to two boys, can't enable.

Cane murders Abel. And then, like, gets kicked out of the garden or something. And then he goes somewhere else and marries someone. Who did he marry? Um, so what I was laughing at so hard there, as Aaron did that, Bane impression, was the thought that there are maybe five people who are still listening to this show who really care about riddles.

They're just like, you just bear with it, you just gotta bear with it, you gotta make it through. They do about three per episode, so they will do riddles eventually. And this one, hey, this one's to you guys. Hello, love. My name is Michael Bane. Oh God, I tried to look up what Cain's wife was She was and this is the information. I'm not reading that

Just tweeted us and tell her Her name was Sarah Demarco and she was an influencer. Yeah, that can't be right Whatever you guys I whatever Okay, herbal life. Yeah, she was deep into an MLM. Okay, let's see. So the listener submitted riddles. You guys, I had so much energy and was so into this 10 minutes ago. Okay, so the first listener submitted Riddle. Good, Addle.

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I honestly really needed that. These are from Cat Whittle. First of all, excellent name. 10 out of 10. Are they a Whittle Cat? I think that they're a human person who's a grown up. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I was in the impression that you were a human person who's a grown up. Oh, but. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I was in the impression that you were a little cat, and now I'll treat you like a grown up adult. I want to treat, to be fair, I was going to treat you the same way I treat all little cats. I'm going to hold you in my arms. I'm going to scratch you a little, Jim.

We're not going to do that. We're not going to do that. So now I'm not, because I can see full grown adult, totally different tact. So Kat, thank you so much for sending us these. These are some excellent warm up riddles. That they, I don't know if you can see this, but Aaron's playing with her hair, she reads the riddle.

I think that means that she's attracted to the riddle. You don't know if I can see it. Oh. If I'm flirting with the riddle. I think that means that she's attracted to the riddle. You don't know if I can see it. If I'm flirting with the riddle, then I'm flirting with the riddle. Everyone's a while. Everyone's a while. Addle will say something about me that is devastating. I don't know if you can see it. Chase me, riddle. Chase me. Okay, shut up, everybody. I can't do this anymore.

I'm gonna go to the Compton. I'll see you all later. Do you want me? I'm gonna see if they want me. The podcast, okay. Your sheriff of Compton. I'm gonna go knock on their door and see if they need me.

I don't know. Come on, come on, come on, or knock. Okay, okay. We are covered in gum. So, they found these in a daily puzzle app and they took some of their favorites. Oh cool. They sent it to us. The answer to each riddle will be one word

that has multiple meanings. We've done variations on this thing. Oh, how many names? A hominem. A hominem. I've included a hit for each in case you need it. And the answers are in white below each riddle. And then before I forget to say it, Kat said HRR, which I assume is Hey Rittle Rittle, is

my favorite podcast. And I've been listening since episode one, Love You Guys. And you can use my name from Kat. Thank you so much Kat. These are really fun. So we're going to go through these as a warm up. Let's do it. HRR could also be home run really?

That's probably the most likely thing. Which is what a lot of umpires have been saying this year. It's a lot of what our fans are saying, honestly. They, I don't know, the MLB, they hired a ton of umpires who are in disbelief about how good professional athletes are. What do you mean the umpire made you cry today at the game? I don't want to talk about it. He called me out.

He said, call run really? Nice triple. There's so mean, whatever, I'm going to bed. All right, correct direction. Right, right, right, right, right. Right, yep, you got it. Yes. speak to location speak to location talk talk talk talk talk talk a walk speak location speak to location

um speak to location um add-at verbal verbal I, that's what it sounds like. Verbal Verbal. I start drowning. Verbal Verbal. Verbal Verbal. Verbal Verbal. That's the add a Swedish chef drowning. Hey, Jeff Ernie.

Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. Verbal Verbal. Verbal Verbal. Ernie, Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. Wow, you're good at that. Ernie, Ernie, Ernie. He's drinking Jim's glass. What? Can you just talk speak, speak, speak? What's it called? What did that? I'm on the world. He's drinking Jim's glass.

What, speak, speak, speak. What's it called? Speak to location. Speak to look. I'm gonna give you the hint. Okay. Write the recipient's name on an envelope. Onvelope envelope.

Sincind? No. Write the rest. Address address. Yeah, you got it. Yeah. Address some, I got you. I got you. I want to see you seeing Aaron, you are going undercover to try and catch a sort of

Malfioso guy in his crimes. JBC, you are that Malfioso guy, and your name is Tommy Two Times, and you say everything twice, like a dress address or right, right? Gotcha. And this is you Aaron trying to coax out some information. Can I offer you some gaba go, gaba go. Yeah, I've been here the whole time and I love something to eat. As you know, my name's Gritelli Matsurelli and I'm here to talk to you about

whatever you want to say secret or otherwise. Hi Griteli Matsurelli! Matsurelli! You come very well regarded. I'm sorry, uh, too, uh, Tony Tony. It's not like there's an echo in the room. Hey, my name's not Tony, Tony, Tony. Tony is Tony two times, two times.

And we call me that, call me that, because I have to say everything two times, two times. Now, I know what you're thinking, thinking, why does he do it, do it? Well, it's because one time I got a little too close to a horse horse and I was picking up a penny, then I got another ground ground behind them behind them And the horse got spooked spooked and he clocked me in the nose bows, hoes, troves

So I guess that's not the only reason that come on two time Tony. Swap. Oh Mahoguse, Mahoguse Sheila, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wow, it's the Mahoguse, Mahoguse! Sheila, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Wow, it's the Mahoguse, I can't believe how offensive we are being to an entire culture of people. Ah, JPC's brothers Italian, so he's allowed to do this to this. I was that possible. You know what?

Two-time Tony, sometimes it seems like at the end of a phrase, you don't just say it something two times. You sort of just peter off into a bunch of rhyming words. Is that part of your thing? Hey, maybe I could call up the horse, of course, that kicked me, it kicked me. Yes, this is what I mean. That was a mistake. So, a dress was precious. Yes, gently offer money. Brieb, bribe, gently offer money.

Cokes, cookes. Here you go, here you go. Gently, I want to see a scene. Addle, you are JPC's parent. And JPC is in his like mid to late 20s and you're just trying to gently offer him some money to try to help him out in hard times and maybe JPC or two amperes to take it. Got it. Sweetie, I know it's been tough. Europe, Europe, it's embarrassing for me to even say it.

Europe, podcast her, but I'm willing to, we're willing to support you. No, no, you know, actually things are going like way, way better. Um, yeah, I'm sure your little podcast is doing great, but here, let me, I'm gonna hold up a dollar bill and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna blow it over to you. Not not necessary. In fact, I was thinking that maybe I would pick up dinner tonight. But not the meal that we just had. Let's go to a different, let's like get like a burger on the way home and I'll pick up the check on that. I'm like a second dinner. Because, because, Franklin, I'm doing very well and while I appreciate the charity,

it is absolutely not necessary. I am doing fine. My boxing podcast is, it's coming along. It's much better. I... Excuse me, sir. There's a dollar bill in my salad. Please stop blowing money over to my table.

Sorry, that was meant for my son. Let me hear JPC. I'm gonna suck it in and you, so I'm gonna hold the solar bill to a mouth and suck in And then you put your lips on the other way. Aren't you related? Sorry, I'm just a person alone at a table next to you But that game is intended to kiss your crush. I'm sorry. He's he said my son. This is my daddy. Oh Does that make sense you asked I'm gonna go back to eating my money, Salon Crunch it's mostly coin That's my idea of someone had real movie someone has a sugar daddy, but they're embarrassed to take money from them

Oh my god, I couldn't I couldn't I mean I just was the time with you. I can't afford to be someone sugar daddy. I'm somebody's sweet and low daddy That's amazing some I'm a splendid daddy. Oh, what is it? What's the caviar? Sweat no what's the Sweetener Octavia Butler. I don't know whatever. Um, are you trying to think of another are you trying to think of Splenda? No Try to think of another, are you trying to think of Splendor? No, that's hot. Equal Splendor?

Come on, sweet love. You guys, help me. Shut up. Okay, hold on. That's called Octavia? No, it's like, this is a losing battle. Aspartate? We'll cut that.

Okay, a JPC, I meant to ask you, what is the name of your boxing podcast? Uh, ooh. Something with ropes or ring or something like crunch. Yeah, like Jab I don't know punch up the slang. Oh jab on my hitters graves. There you go. Thank you. Thank you Now we can't cut this part out. Truvia upper deep cups. What was the punch? Truvia. Oh, I don't have a pun. Jesus Christ. This sucks.

The podcast is, we've got to hit the point where the podcast is literally airing, just remembering. So, that or remembering, taking the time to Google Aaron sounds like a Tickle me Elmo We're done this episode's done Casey Casey put in put in 40 music Put it put in 40 minutes of fucking music. Oh God. I type something into a computer I'm not expected to do all the work I'm just doing a part of it

Cut the episode right here and just put it in the last 40 minutes of Conair. That's a good 40 minutes. Oh shit. Okay. Oh He says Gently offer money Shampoom offer money. So oh god damn it. I had a joke for this and now I don't remember it. I'm sorry buddy. Oh it was like hush cash or something like that. Hush cash. Hush cash. That's my favorite Paula Bdulsong gently offer money so if you're offering money your um you're bribing you bidding your money. If it's real money, it's legal. Tender, tender, tender. Yep. Ooh, legal, tender, legal, dude.

Parap for a contest. Team team, team. Tandem, dandem, tandem, dandem. Tandem, dandem, my favorite Olympics for. Team up, what was it, team up for? Parap for a contest. Parap for a contest, couple, couple, couple. Parap for for contest. Para for contest. Couple, couple bubble. Para for contest.

What's the United? What's the United? United we fight. Uh, contest. Uh, match match. Yep. Nice. I'd like to see a scene.

Uh, JPC, your teacher, and everyone's pairing up for a field trip, and Adel, you're the odd kid out in class, so the teacher is your partner for the field trip. Okay everybody grab your partner. I'm with my best friend. I'm with my best friend. We're all with our best friends. We all have best friends. But we would be so happy to be paired up with anyone in this class except one. And in teacher I grabbed my best friend.

I'm hugging myself tightly. Oh Jesus Seth is. Oh my God. I hug myself tightly and nightly Nick is sick today, okay? You know Seth I keep telling you yeah, you and Nick are the biggest losers in school Thank you. Be sick for feel no, thank you. I dropped 180 pounds. I dropped a hundred and a pounds because of that show shut up Be sick for field day okay for field trip Day be sick that I tell Nick Nick always is sick on field trip day you would but my parents are still in space They're not back yet and honestly they don't know if they'll be back Hey, it's mom and dad sending a video from space maybe for the last time just remembers

Make sure to have yourself last time just remember to make sure to have yourself tightly. Mom, I love you. Back you damn beast. I'll come the background says BP gas station. And back to the filter. Your parents aren't in space. They're liars. Look, no one wants to deal with you.

No one wants to deal with you. At least of all me. Okay, because you know, you're so uncool. You bring a cool teacher down. Ah, that sucks to hear, but you're my best friend, so I'll absorb it. I'll take it. I'm Mr. Micolas. Do not tell people that I'm your best friend. Okay, I'll fucking dead our new. I'll put you in stone.

Oh, look, Mr. Micolas brought his skateboard to the field trip. Do a trick, Mr. Micolas. That skateboard to the field trip. Do a trick, Mr. Micolas. That's just one of my skateboard. Whoa! Okay, don't fuck this up from me, okay? Okay. We have to be partners on the field trip today. Don't say anything out loud in front of people.

If you have to say something, text it to me, okay. Mr. Micolas is paired up with Seth. Does that make Seth cooler? Or Mr. Micolas more of paired up with Seth. Does that make Seth cooler? Or Mr. Micolus more of a loser? They're talking through it. I can't believe the kids are taking that, that's 2024 you. The kids are taking their time to talk through whether or not to bully me. Okay, Seth, no, we can turn this around.

We can turn this around. Actually, Seth turns out, Seth's pretty cool. He just offered to lend me his Katana. Yeah, look I'm uncircumcised. No It's like a little ant eater. All you had to do all you know what your parents are in space So not fighting Naly they're working a gas station and they Maybe cool people aren't mean maybe the coolest people of them all aren't the mean people with skateboards, but the cool people. Hey Sarah, hey Sarah, you're expelled.

You're expelled. Oh. You leave school now. Okay. Same. I love a teacher that has the power to just expel it. Like firing them. Right where they're starting to get it.

Okay. the teacher that has the power to just expel it. Like firing them. Right with their study to get it. Okay, got up to get a flower. Rose Rose, nice, Adel. Wow. And that's what I want from Valentine's Day from the two of you. And that riddles based on my favorite Kennedy. Rose Kennedy.

My favorite Kennedy is Rose Kennedy. Um, what are you guys getting me for Valentine's Day? Keep on for free kisses. I Thought from who? Who ever you what it's keep on you give this somebody else and it just says kiss me question mark. Oh, Pacey from Dawson's Creek. I'm gonna get you one of those big heart-shaped boxes that's full of chocolates, and I'm gonna do you the favor of tasting every one of the chocolates first,

so there's gonna be small bites out of every one of the chocolates, and then I'm gonna rank their taste from one to 10. So I'm gonna put a little piece of paper in there that's like this one's a seven, this one's a three, this one's a 10, just so you know which one's to eat. I know you're joking, but that's honestly my dream

because I like to be able to see inside of a truffle before I, um, what's eat it? Mm-hmm. You forgot the, did you have to Google that? Yeah, I do. Like your sugar substitute. Aaron, what if I got you instead of a teddy bear? What if I got you, so teddy bears, of course,

named after Teddy Roosevelt? What if I got you a Franklin teddy bears, of course, named after Teddy Roosevelt. What if I got you a Franklin Roosevelt bear, a Franklin bear? I want an Andrew Jackson voodoo doll. End of list. Okay. They don't make those anymore. Not since all those kids died. Okay. Sway to popular music. Sway to popular music. Good groove.

Ooh. Jam Jam. Bam Bam. Swade. Okay, God, what's popular music is disco, disco disco. Yeah, disco is currently very popular. We're recording this in 1971. So popular music would be, okay, sway.

Oh, dance dance, follow-up boy. 1971 so probably music would be okay sway Dance dance follow boy. Yeah, I'm going back and forth like this. I'm back Drunk your junk junk. Oh, you have your hair back in fourth Willow Smith Rock you rock rock. Oh, yeah, rock. Bash away. What's that? Bash await. Wait, I want to see a scene. So based off rock rock, the two of you, you are a two person rock band. I'll uh, the white stripes, black keys, um, and the two of you are on stage. You just got on stage. This is your big concert. This is what's gonna put you over the top

But the two of you forgot your instruments and so you're trying to just Make-do install Cleveland You're in Santa Fe Yeah, it's a joke. We do we say that every city that we're in true fans fans know it. Everybody point and laugh at that guy. True fans know the joke. You've never seen this live before. You've never listened to a live album.

We're so happy to be back on tour. We love you all. Now let's get to our hits. But before we do that, some crowd work. You did. The one that yelled at earlier, you're somebody's dad. Where are you from? From here.

All right, so you're from Cleveland? No, I'm from here. Alright, so you're from Cleveland? No, I'm from Santa Fe. That got a big pot, man. That got a huge pot. You're from Santa Fe. What do you do, sir? Well, let me get on stage to your grab this mic. Sure, yeah.

We'll throw a mic down to you. Todd, we hit him a mic. I'm a prop comic. You're a prop comic. Yeah're a prob comic. Yeah Okay, smart ass come up here and do your stuff. Yeah, you're set What is this a what is this a microphone or am I or am I a unicorn? Okay, he's getting too many laughs to get it off stage More kind work more kind of you did you talk to someone?

Wow Anyone here ever have a crush on me? I'm gonna do more kind work more kind of you did you stop someone Wow Anyone here ever have a crush on me oh used to Why did you stop When all those tabloids started to tell your goings on okay pivot pivot pivot this is really bad This is really bad for us pivot you kiss the giraffe and I can't look at you the same way We didn't just kiss it wasn't just a kiss it was love doesn't matter Okay, you there you

Surrey in the audience that's an interesting scar. Where'd you get it? Why am I doing this? Why am I like this? I was in a bar fight. Okay Okay, um, we're gonna serve this little guy we think that we'll be having here. I was at a casino and I was at the slot machine and I got bar, bar, cherry. Okay, that is it, right? I should have got a third bar.

So I started punching the slot machine, see? This is a huge part of the slot machine. The slot machine started fighting, three, four, five, six. You have to go everyone with us. Seven, eight, nine, Happy New Year!

What's up everybody? This is a show. See. Pretty good. Pretty good job, Stolen. Bash away. Bash away? A weight. Bash away. Tunt, tunt, tunt. Bash away. Bash away. A weight.

Bash away. T-tun, t-tun. Bash away. Is it A weight like a physical weight or is it the word of weight? Oh, physical weight. A weight. Bash away. Dumb, dumb bell, go to hell.

Dumb, Bash away. Damn, he got it. Dumb bell, go to hell. I want, bash a weight. Damn, he got it, slam. Dumb bell go to hell. I want to see a scene. You two are both. I'm pound. Yep. Yes.

Yes. You two are both dudes in the gym, and you're trying to impress each other by lifting heavier and heavier weights. Oh, let's go. Ooh, oh, let's go. If I can get it. Ooh, 550, just curled 550.

You just curled 550? Yeah. Okay, very nice. Ooh, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, do you mind spotting me? Yeah.

I'm gonna bench, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bench right now. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to, I bench 750. 750? Let's go. It's a little bit up. Okay, so. Pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, p Let's go it's a little bit up. Okay And that was with me pushing down on the bar. That's even worse hell. Yeah hell yeah, I'm swole Okay, okay, that was 750 that was 750. Let's see here. Let me

You ma'am can I talk to you for a second? Me yeah, how many friends do you have? What the hell? Get your friends, I'm gonna squat you all. Okay, come on boys! We do. All my friends are football team. That's the biggest one in the country.

Well that's a new shirt. Wait, the biggest football team in the country? Yeah, they're my friends, The ones that have the most people. Yeah, the Seahawks. The Seahawks, it's been like three years now that the Seahawks get to play with 10 extra players, but nobody knows why. Yeah, I don't know why,

but I have a thing where I'm only friends with people who are on the Seahawks. Oh, let's go. Here, get on my back. There you go. And DK Mack have to get up. And here we go. Lifted them all, squatted them back, there you go. Get pop N, DK, Mac, have to get up. And here we go, lift it up all, squat it up.

Oh, your turn. A kill is tonight. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. When we come down here from our mountain, and we frolic among the mortals, sure. Is it fun for you anymore? It's fun to see the reactions of humans, mercury, but it feels we're all

throwing up because we're so scared. You're just wrong. Yeah, I feel like it always ends the same way, right? You know, we meet up with women in the gym. She's friends with a professional football team. We lift them up and then they all throw up because they're too scared. It's like the fun's out of it. You know, it's old this time. Maybe Zeus has it right. Oh my heel, my heel. Okay, we're gonna quickly do the rest of these and then we're gonna go on a break.

All right. Okay, Ross. How I would do it on a break. Averagely nasty. Averagely nasty. Me mean. Mm-hmm. I wouldn't describe myself like that.

I'm just, I a sort of a joke um a baseball player full of water oh Albert pull hosts and water cool host Jose Cateco fall of I'm giving you two so much of this the sunny a jitter leader I'm gonna take it. I honestly there's no choice but to take it Fuck I can't believe I have to take a jitter leader Shit fuck I'm so pissed that works What was that professional ball player full of water? No, it's a baseball player right? Yeah, it's a jeeter leader It's not it's a pitcher pitcher, but god

Jeeter leaders way better Birds do you know that did you know that Derek Jeter used to like sleep with a million women and send them home with autographed baseballs? Is it too late for that or? That was his thing is he'd give them a sign baseball in the morning and tell them to get out. Honestly though, once he heard they'd all gather at a field and fight each other with those balls.

All right, when I sleep with people, what should I sign? Like while they're on their way out, like a gift bag or should I do like one of those, like gift baggies, like filled with erasers and confetti and like little candy? That's pretty good. Like a little trigger treat. As they were leaving my house, I'd be like, take a snapback.

Take a hat. Take a hat. Yeah, take a hat. Take a hat. Maybe I'll sign a copy of Little Women. It's also fantastic. There's also a few women who have said that they slept with their jeeter and during sex he watched highlights of himself and just screamed yeah jeez.

No, no, that can't be real unless it is. Dear, I'm just flying that it is. Dear jeeter sounds like the type of guy who saw the movie American Psycho and was like, that looks cool. I will try that. Oh, you mean like every other guy in America, they see Psycho. American Psycho, they see the Joker, they see Wolf of Wall Street and they're like, oh, baby, that's gotta be me. That's me. Not me.

I saw that movie and I thought one thing. I want to get railed by Christian Bale and I don't care who does. A bird stretching its neck. Crane crane. Uh huh. And thank you so much, Cat Whittle. You are a hero. Thank you, Whittle. You are, uh, you're, uh, we are so proud of you. Uh, you've done such a great job. And thank you so much

for submitting and for listening since episode one. We really appreciate you. And we're not going to be moving forward. And we wish you luck with your further endeavors at so much your time. And thank you for coming in. And Aaron, this is something where it's, um, a fractured bone and also an intermission. Sweet and low, sweet and low. No, a fractured... Break break. Thank you so much.

Break break. Break break break. Break break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break.

Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Break break. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Atal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Okay. Um, I just need some advice.

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking at all. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs just starting out a managing a growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It engaged with your audience. And so let me think for products that cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Addle. Come here.

Come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank JPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace,

you can have custom merch. You can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production, inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time and money. What is happening? Okay.

Wait, what's going on with Adel? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just setting up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics. Use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm going to improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our

popular products and content on my prank website. The prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. The website was for. Prank.

With Squarespace. website for Prank Square space You can connect to your store to Vedent third party tools to extend the functionality of your website Hey JPC hey JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine Dude, we got her anyway if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine head to squarespace.com for a free trial And when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC. Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here.

I am sort of at an empath. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? Like, have there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? They're never truly is a middle. No, this is the middle. Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still

stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this? Because sometimes Aaron in life were faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better

than traditional therapy ever did. And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods isn't that fun to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a license therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey Aaron a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them. Dirty bread crumbs. down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Dirty bread crumbs. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash riddle, R I D D L E. R I D D D L E the middle of rid riddles of d but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the light of the two d helping at home by am home

who are we uh... i would uh... clink clink clink excuse me ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to I know it's JPC's birthday and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite My favorite thing in the world. Oh, and that is the app rocket money. Oh Yeah, Aaron. That's one of my favorite things as well Mm-hmm rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place.

I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, Kling, I'm sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you, and for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel, and Rocket money will quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any

you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Clink, clink, clink. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. Over three million, oh, clink, clink, clink. Over three million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. We love rockets. Stop, stop, clink, clink, clink. Stop, no, clink, clink, clink, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions today

and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rock at money.com slash riddle. Rock at money.com slash riddle. Intel and JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about rocket money, the website. I love you, Rugga Money.

I'm clank, clank, clank. Hey, Rittle, Rittle. You're welcome back from the sweeten-low sweeten-low. I'm still Aaron Keith to my diagonal left is Alive-Five into my left. What did thaty? It's JPC. Activio. Everyone let us know what sugar substitute you think we'd all be. What's the stuff in Diet Coke? Aspart of me. Aspart aim. That's probably me.

All right, let's do some more listener submitted riddles. These are from Brooke, Matherly, Matherly, Matherly, which I think I know you might know. Yes. She is from the restricted section podcast, if you want to check that out. And she sent us some excellent travel riddles, she says. Hey y'all, hey.

Hey, Brooke. If you've been missing travel like I have, then hopefully these travel riddles will bring back some fond memories. Okay. Okay, please, Trittles. All right. And Adela, I'm sorry, you were talking to your Butler Trittles,

right? I'm sorry. You were talking to your butler, Trittles, right? I'm sorry, you were talking to your butler, Trittles. Yes, Trittles, could you please, could you please clean up the water that Gemma spilled outside my door? Thank you so much, Trittles. Yes, of course. And Trittles, I have to ask,

are you named after Trittles? Oh, because we have different. Similar sounding names. No, Trittles is actually a family name, sir. And Trittles, where are you from? I always assumed UK, but oh no, no sir. The Southwest. Oh, Santa Fe, Cleveland joking.

Okay, my Trittles. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye. I don't know, I never hired that guy. He just appeared to me in a dream and then I went. Whoa. And he was there. Okay me in a dream and then I was there Okay, that's pretty cool. I was gonna say rich much god. I'll sew rich you guys I like how he's I like how he's so tall and like very Slender and black. He's like the black a black outline of

Like a man. Yeah, he never see this face. Yes. Do you guys think it could be Sean Mendez? Is that what we're all circling that right? Okay, all right. Who are you? Okay. What even were we doing? I think you are going to do some riddles from Brooke.

Okay, these are from Brooke. Nobody wants me, but I don't know why. Erin, come on. We said afterwards we would talk to you and see what's going on. Oh, um, I'm sorry. That's the riddle. Everybody wants me. Hello, I'm sweating through my tie-dye sweatshirt hoodie. Hello, boy. Are you all into that? Chase me, listeners. Hello boy. Are you all into that? Jase me, listeners, Jase me. Everybody wants me, lucky charms. Oh, man.

Okay, nobody wants me, but I don't know why. Despite the fact that I bring neighbors closer together, people often pay extra just to avoid me. What am I? Jail time. JL time. JL time. Is it a toll? No. Nobody wants me, but I don't know why. Despite the fact that I bring neighbors closer together, people often pay extra just to avoid me. What am I?

House fire. Is it like, is it like um? These are travel ripples. Travel. So they all involve traveling basically? Yeah, because I was gonna say like, uh, is it like, um, these are travel retals. Travel, travel. So they all involve traveling basically? Yeah. Because I was gonna say like, is this like a seat mate on an airplane? Like a, which one? Which seat?

Middle seat. Yeah. Wow. That's a great one. All right, I want to see a scene. It's the three of us. We are us and we are holding up an entire line of people behind us trying to get an airplane deciding which of us is gonna have what seat.

I'm just telling you that when I fall asleep, I fall asleep. Sorry, I don't have my headphones there and what were you saying? I'm saying when I fall asleep, I fall asleep in like a Jesus pose, like my arms are outstretched, so I don't think it's good for me to be in a middle because I'm gonna be interrupting both of your, you know, readings or watchings. With the Jesus pose, that's the only appropriate place for you because we don't want you to throw your hand through the window or hit the... Or the aisle.

You know, a flight attendant. Well, I also, I brought a board. I don't know if I told you guys. I'm bringing a board a comfort, what do you call that? A comfort animal? What are those called? Yeah, an emotional support animal.

Yeah, I'm bringing on one of those. So that, what is it? What kind of animal is it? You don't want to know. I do. So you legally have to declare. Okay, it's my son and I didn't want to buy a ticket for him. So he's coming. Humans are animals. And so my son, so my son doesn't like to sit on my lap, so he's going to be in a little cage underneath my feet. And eventually at some point in, I'm going to have to let him out so he can stretch his legs. And you're not gonna want to have me in the middle, you're gonna want me on the aisle so that the little scam can get away. Okay, Adel, you got to argue for your point. I'm up next.

I have a thing where I have a really terrifying dream enactment, night terrors, but when you're in the middle seat. Sorry, Aaron, your headphones were in. Oh shit, my headphones were in. Oh shit my headphones were in. I was talking about second. Yeah yeah. Oh yeah, I started again. I have a thing where I'm in the middle seat of their plane I do dream enactment stuff.

So it's possible that I'll punch you right in the eye if I'm in the middle seat. Also, I just broke up with a middle seat. I'm going to a terrible breakup with a middle seat. So I'm like really fresh for me. I don't want to sit on it. Yeah, so this is all kind of a moot point anyway, because legally I have to take the window seat

because I, legally, unfortunately, I have the air marshal on this flight has a restraining order against me because I tried to fight him to become the air marshal, the last time I was flying. It's not how that works. You know that now, right? I know that now. I know that. Yeah, $400 later in a you know a public apology. I know that now. And also when you said legally you held up a VHS copy of Ferdinand Gully. So I think you're I think you're confused. I'm watching this on the plane. I'm gonna give it to the pilot in a second. He's gonna put it up on the TV's. But I have to sit there because- I think it's one of those old greyhound buses

that you put a VHS in at the front. Why is it not? I don't know. I don't have the air in the technology. You don't have to say old. You can just say greyhound buses. Sorry, let me- I give the pilot Ferngolly every time I fly

and it's always plane. All right, while we talk about this, I'm just gonna sit on the window seat. I'm just gonna sit right here and then Adel, you just sit in the middle and then just sit on the end, just what we talk about. How is that a result?

Oh, the, the, the, the, the fastened seat belt light is on. No, that's the smoking light. We're, now, let's all take a quick smoke break. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. I have an ace in the hole.

I have an ace in the hole. Hey, Gemma, sweetie. I didn't know you were in this fight. Hey, Aaron just said I had to sit in the middle. Can you please make us? We're flying. Thank you for it. Oh never mind. Hey, Gemma. Happy birthday. It's a fucking matter where I sit. Well, well, this is this the episode where she leaves me. Now leave it in. Okay. Leave it in because we, Jim and I need to have this difficult conversation.

Wow, we really are sending you up. Which is IPC doesn't like spirit. I have no problem with spirit. Actually, I love spirit because I don't like paying for all the extras because they don't give them to you anyway. I have to ask you, have you and Jim have been watching the flight attendant on HBO Max? We watched the whole darn thing and the whole time, and there was like five or six episodes where Jim would turn to me and go, that's not how, and I was like, I don't want to hear it. Well, I've only seen the first episode and I won't spoil it for anyone who is watching,

but as I was watching it, Jim was the only flight attendant that I know, and as I was watching it, I was the whole time I was like, I wonder if that's something that's going to be pretty. Hey. But there's so many inaccuracies in terms of like, nobody would ever kill somebody like that or do this or do that, but there'd be one flight attendant protocol that they would do, and Jim was like, nobody does that.

And I'm like, I'm willing to suspend this, believe me. I had to stop watching because I got very, very mad at the directors of the show and the people editing it. I go, I don't think you're very, very good at setting up suspense or doing something truly scary. If in order to be scary, you need to do jump scare flash callbacks to the most gruesome image from your show. I think that's lazy.

That's fair. I keep saying, okay, big bang theory. I think that's lazy. That's fair. I keep saying, okay, Big Bang Theory. Oh, that's a good comeback to anyone though. That would devastate me. If I make a joke and then someone goes, okay, Big Bang Theory, go, oh man, I mean, that show is really popular for a reason. People must think.

Even before the show, it's kind of like saying, okay, Einstein. Yeah, 100%. All right, next one. Yes. A woman grabs her plane ticket and clears security with three hours left before her flight departs.

Jesus. She charges her phone and begins to check out a familiar neighborhood. When her flight leaves, she is not on board. What happened? She was watching Mr. Rogers neighborhood. She got so engrossed that she fell asleep and woke up dead. Same answer as Adel, but'm in a change in grossed with engrossed

Okay, well you both have been reading my fanfic Stay out of my computer boys If this is not a formal hint, but this is truly one of my favorite riddles that's ever been on the show It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood and I'm a beautiful day. You so good. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

Won't you be my lover? Could I be your fuck boy? I'm gonna take my shoes off and then we can get stuff. Where are we close? I'm in the Radges. I'm in the Radges. I'm in the Radges. Chase guy. She's a bad guy. She's a bad guy. I'm both a bad guy. She's a bad guy. Chase me.

She came. All right, so she came to her flight, cleared security, three hours early, and then she said that she checked out a familiar neighborhood. Uh huh. Is it like, what is it like a chili's neighborhood borrowed and grilled, and she got fucking it. So drunk and chili's too, that she missed her flight. I wonder if you're

sort of right on the money, but she's she was eating good in the neighborhood, which isn't she was a Apple bees. She got drunk at an Apple bees and she missed her flight. Okay, first of all, fuck off if you're drinking out an Apple bees. Any self-respecting person will drink it at Chili's too over an Applebee's every time. I need a Wolfgang fucking pucks salad before I went to sit down in a fucking Applebee's. Here's where we part ways, because I love Applebee's.

I love it. I love it. I love Chili's. I love Chili's, but I will say I was in Mississippi and I like a year and a half ago, two years ago, and I will say I was in Mississippi and I like a year and a half ago, two years ago, and I went to go see the movie BookSmart, and then afterward I went to an Applebee's

in Guttle Little Bit Drunk. I'm just going to say is one of the better nights of my life. Applebee's is a pretty fun place to get drunk. Okay, I'll see that. I mean, I can't drink physically, I'm incapable of doing it or I break my streak. But I went to an...

Also, you can't pick up a cup. It's too hard because it's so slippery, because it's wet on the inside. My hands are backwards. So last time I was going to Applebee's, it was in Michigan. My waitress's name was Hunter. I asked Hunter, I'm a vegetarian.

Is there anything on this? I looked at that menu for 10 fucking minutes. I was like, I'm a vegetarian. Is there anything on this? I looked at that menu for 10 fucking minutes. I was like, is there anything on this menu that I can eat? And Hunter, who is a pescatarian, says, do you eat fish? I said, no. And she's like, well, then there's nothing on the menu that you can eat.

And I was like, I can't even get a salad without the chicken. And she's like, they're all pre-made salads that have the fucking chicken in them. And there's that. You get any sides? What's that? Could you get any sides or does it hurt?

Yeah, I bet I could have gotten french fries, but what am I, I'm gonna eat that as a meal. No, Hunter, I had a moment. We commiserated. Hunter was sad because basically unless she's eating fish, she can ever use her shift meal. And I said, Hunter, do yourself a favor. Get out of here.

Ron, and Hunter, if you're out there, if you're listening, I hope you did. And then Hunter became the hunter. The hunted. Applebee's a still chasiker. You ran my speed plan. Her brother, Gatherer, Aaron, you should know, unless you already know this,

Booksmart, one of the better movies of the last 10 years, was written by World News tonight, Alam Sarah Haskins. I lost my mind. I saw that movie before I knew a world news alum had written it. And then it exploded my heart in my chest. It's like one of the best written portrayals of female friendship I've ever seen. It's so good, that's so cool.

That's so cool that a world news person did this. And Aaron, you would also love to know that the Mario Brothers movie, the lead in that movie was actor Bob Hoskins from Hoothrame Roger Rabbit and Hook. He plays me. You guys know anything that I care about. What do you know about me? Well, you have a tight-eye sweater that you're sweating through.

That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it.

That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it.

That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. That's what they call it. I went to bed at 5 a.m. last night. I'm gonna head up my accommodations. Aaron, would you say that you're like a bicycle? Um, like a bicycle. Tandem.

Well, I mean, just in that you're too tired. Nobody, nobody move, nobody move. Everybody very, very still. The predator just joined the zoom. He can see us with his heat vision. Nothing to see. The predator just joined the zoom. He can see us with his heat vision Nothing to see Sofia arrives in Paris and heads to her accommodation when she gets up to her room There's already a German an Italian and a spaniard inside. She's not bothered and settles right in why isn't she bothered?

This is our types of sausages she ordered for dinner at the hotel. No. No, no, no, no, no, because those are the different translations of the Bible in her room. Yep. Let the Bible. No, they're really people. They're really people. A German, a Spaniard, and what? A German, an Italian, and a Spaniard inside her accommodation. I'm only gonna ask this once, and I'm only gonna ask this because this is a podcast, and this is my job, and I take it seriously. Is this a sex thing?

Mm-hmm. The podcast? No. Okay. The answer to the riddle? No. The night when everybody had apology, big apology. For kind of what I've been kind of under my

reactions. Yeah. Okay. So there these are three human beings. Huh? Three people. Yes. And she expected them. Um, she didn't expect them maybe specifically, but she probably are they expected? Are they like on TV or they in the room with her physically in the room with her physically a German a spaniard in an Italian it doesn't matter their nationalities. Oh these are the pet boys

No, I think they're all German Okay, so they're their nationalities doesn't matter, but why did, so there's three people in her tell room. And she's not bothered, why? Well, she, there's three people in her accommodation and she's not bothered, why? But your Baker can, was there mayor? Are these like support staff? Are these like a bus boy?

No, but I did correct you when you said hotel room. Yeah, so it's not, so it's a combination, it's not a hotel room. It's a a combination. It's not a hotel room. It's a ski lodge. Oh, is she, is she, is she in a hostel? Yes. Oh, so their nationalities do matter. Well, kind of to imply that a lot of people from all over the world usually are in

hostels together. Next question. Next question. Actually, fun fact, every hotel room that I stay in has a hostel vibe. I stayed in a hostel in Edinburgh and I will never since that day, I will never stay in a hostel again. It was like 13 whatever Scottish money is per night and it was the worst fucking thing in the world. Sure. Yeah. Hostels are garbage. I'm sorry. They're awful. Somebody went through my bag. It was the worst it was the worst experience I've ever

ever had. I think there's probably a lot of really great hostels No, I live by one. Do you see the documentaries? No, I don't why would I don't know? Not documentaries at all. I live by a Chicago hostel like on it I am actually not gonna tell everyone right where I live right where I live. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're so against hostels, but isn't spirit airlines just the hostels of fucking airlines? Why are you trying to get them into trouble? I get free flights anywhere in the world. Last episode. Last one. You don't get anymore, okay? Are you happy? You don't get anymore. I'm happy happy. Come on. I wanted this on the record. I'm not happy. Darla starts in Richmond, Virginia and sets out alone to head to New York City. On her

way there, she goes right through DC Baltimore in Philadelphia. When Darla arrives in New York, she can honestly say she's never in her life seen any of these cities. How is that possible? Carla's a liar. What's she, what's her? She's a liar. Does it say what a her motive transportation is? Doesn't matter.

So she went through the cities, but she honestly can say she's never seen these cities. Did she sleep? Did she just sleep through it? She was asleep. Which is why I can say I've never been on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. Same logic. Cause you sleepwalked her all of these.

Uh huh. I'm dead asleep right now. Completely asleep. I do like it. You could have said I've never seen it up a episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, but you said bin on. So it's like, never been on one.

Not me on a lake. In a fugue state, and Hayward Overtol is happening in the ether kind of around you. And that's how impressive and funny I am, that this is just me and like a dream. Like, can you imagine if I were awake, how much more normal and funny and interesting I'd be? Right?

Okay, so I want to see a brief scene. So here's the setup of the scene. Aaron Adel, you're on an airplane. And have you guys seen the television, oh, the television, the movie Valentine's Day? No. Oh, tell ya. Yeah, so Aaron's talking about it constantly.

It's on Netflix. It's an absolute ball of trash. But the Bradley Cooper, Julia Roberts, part of that movie Valentine's Day starts with Julia Roberts, I think, falling asleep on Bradley Cooper, and that's their meet cute, I'm not gonna spoil that movie for anyone who wants to waste two and a half hours of their life.

But this is that. It's honestly a blast, it's so bad, watch it. This is your little meet cute on a flight, except that Aaron, you keep trying to think of creative ways to start this conversation. Aaron is going to be sleeping through it the entire time. So she's never waking up, but this is your meat cut. This is your meat cut.

Oh. That's so funny. Too hot to you too. We're so alike. Too hot to you too. We're so alike. Uh oh, whoops. You got some drool on my shoulder. Shoulder drool. The shoulder drool almost sounds like, how are you?

And I want to ask, how are you doing? I'm never gonna fall in love. Yeah, I don't want to fall in love. I want to stand up in love. I want to stand up for you. I want to stand up for you and you are It beautiful. Oh this this emotional support pet petnacage. That's my son. Oh, I'm having a nightmare I'm having a nightmare that I had to talk to the guy next to me on the plane when I sat down Okay, you

Funny Jennifer Jennifer. Yes, funny. Jennifer. Uh oh. In your subconscious, all you wanna do is tell a guy next to you that he's a doofus, but don't do that. And it's gonna be rude. Make sure you don't tell him you think he's a doofus when you make a. Who's Jennifer? Are you on the phone? Oh.

Oh. Hey, can I get anyone something to drink? Hi, what's your name, Dex? Here's a, hi, Gemma. Can I have, let's see here, can I have a red bowl with Fanta and a splash of Fego? And for my friend here, she's gonna have a fruit topia. Okay, I think we did a scene similar to this on the Patreon recently. That can't be right. It comes like a red all red all to Florida episode.

Fruit topia and a Red Bull Fego Fanta and also get something for yourself, huh? Thank you so much, and does anyone know how to fly a play Do I not fly play? Okay, she said I know how flat play so I I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep look up keep my eye I've seen Con air. I've seen Con air have it. We all All right. Well, here's my chance.

You, I don't know your name, but the moment I sat down next to you, I knew I would just spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me? Oh, sorry, sir. I'm so embarrassed that I fell asleep on you. Oh, my husband was gonna make fun of me. He's always laughing at me for falling asleep

on strangers on planes. Are you from the picture? Oh, I see. Sorry, my husband's on the other side of you. Hold on, I'm not always doing that. Come on, you're always teasing me about it, right? It happened one time and I brought it up at a dinner party, but like I-

Dair come not trying to fight. I'm not trying to fight either. Just like it's- Open up why are you fighting? Because my character is being assassinated. And it's like a dagger in the mind. Like it sees your wife in a cute way. That's a character assassin.

When you tell us, Ranger, that I did that, please. Did you at least order me a perturbed? The two of you, please, is there anything you want to promote? Well, my marriage isn't a rambul, my marriage isn't shambles, but I guess, if I could promote anything, I would direct people to.

Yeah. JPC's Twitch stream. It's twitch.tv slash shark barkman. He streams most, you know, day times. So if you're at an office job and you wanna watch it at work, you know, your boss probably won't know, throw it up on that second monitor. Twitch.tv slash shark barkman during the days.

Okay, okay, great. I don't know who that is up on that second monitor. I twitched on TV slash Shark Bark been during the days. We did. Okay. Okay. Great. I don't know who that is, but that's sunscreen. Neither. Ma'am. Ma'am, is there something you want to plug? Fine. I'm furious and I think my marriage is over. But I guess if I have to plug something, I'll plug Aaron Keefe 10 on Instagram. I have some projects coming out soon that I'm excited about. But I mostly was excited that I found a little great that anything to plug that's so kind of you to ask and that you know my name I want to plug spirit airlines they're one for airline I think they're the fastest growing airline and they're good value when you travel again you're a spear to your lines. I also wanna plug my fiance, Gemma.

That came out wrong. You have pulled. I care. Hey, you high five, low five. You're really good. I'm very excited to marry her. I'm very excited to spend a life with her and she's the best.

And on March 28th, hey everyone, let's all wish her a great second quarantine birthday because she's had two birthdays in quarantine now. All right, love you Gemma. Sorry. Happy 11th is Gemma. And JPC, what planet is Gemma going to send Adel to after this episode? I don't do this shit.

I don't want to. You do it. Come on, bud. Just balance. Oh, why are you starting a fight? Wait, wait, wait, hold on. JPC, you get one. Now it's your turn to do a planet. Okay, what's the funniest planet?

What's the funniest planet? You're right, Niz. Bye for ever. Creep is my apple for five. Starting, parenting, and John Patrick calling. Casey Tony to the editing. Starting, parenting, and the the editing. That's already Paris in the middle of the video. Vocal created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Niporn.

Mark T. B. Dore, Hey, Rick O'Brick. Aaron, you ready? Yeah, one second. So no. Yeah, I need, I'm not ready. Hey, you tell us, chief. Boom! Shaka-laka-laka-laka.

Yes, I was the voiceover for NBA Jam. He's on fire. He's on fire. Boom, Chang-a-laka. From downtown. Mm-hmm. That was a headgun podcast.