Hey Riddle Riddle - #133: Riddleternational Gibberish

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

The first ten minutes of this episode are not for emetophobes! Unless you get a pass for it being about dogs. Also we talk about accents and how we cannot really do them. All that plus a day on the set of a new hit show, some harmless hijinks at the bottom of the sea, a daring spy on a dangerous mission, a venomous asp with a harmless ask, a wholesome party with some horrible participants, and a scene where two people are in a restaurant. Yeah, I kinda phoned in that last one. Either way, have a happy #WiddleWednesdayStarring:Adal RifaiJohn Patrick CoanErin KeifEditing by: Casey ToneyTheme by: Arne ParrottLogo by: Emily Kardamis & Emmaline MorrisWant more? Get Weekly Bonus Eps on Patreon!Want merch? Visit our TeePublic Store! or pins, buttons & printsWant to advertise on the show? Check out Hey Riddle Riddle via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum podcast. Okay, Riddlers, on your mark, get set, go! What are we doing? What are we doing? Ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple, I just say I done hurt my foot. And I can't walk on it. Forget it. Last time we try to do Hey Riddle Riddle field day. You guys didn't even try. I didn't even believe I hurt my foot. I'm just packing everything up from Hey Riddle Riddle field day. You guys didn't even want to participate even.

I just said, I know I did not, and something didn't want to participate. I just said I know I did not. And something didn't want to participate. I just said every time I tether ball, I hit myself in the back of the head. And it's it without fail. I can't get another concussion from tether ball. And yet we played tether ball. You did not get hit and we both got hit in the head by you. So.

And also JPC, I thought it was really cool that you had those fears and that you introduced us to featherball Which was so light and so relaxing and it still enacts the wind out of you and it's in the back of the head though Instead of all these games, let's just do regular reddles fine fine Well, it was a good run. I'm out of or five speaking of JPC And I'm Adolfi. Speaking of GPC. Hi, Mary. Speaking of good drives. Aaron Keesh. Aaron Keesh. I love egg foods.

I don't think there's anything funnier to me than in a southern accent yelling. I think when I started improv, I feel like 95% of the scenes I saw are dead. We're exactly what JPC did, which was like, Hey, darling. Come in the front yard. You'll never guess what's out here. Gab was like, hey, darling, come in the front yard. You'll never guess what's out here. Gabby Dickson yelling, hey, y'all going to JCPenney? From out of a window, the IOT, is still one of my favorite things I've seen, and that was like 2015.

I do love that there, it's not just like a, the person yelling, the context is always that they're very far away in both of those examples. It's not like somewhat, because it's insane for a southern person to have like a shouting match with someone like a close proximity. That's what they would know. Oh no, they're always far away. And it's always asking if people are going to JC Penney.

Hey, y'all going to JC Penney? Hey, that's the river, what took my son? I think that's the Tina Fey bit. Oh, Southern voices. Speaking of Southern voices, JPC, you were from the deep south of Indiana. I'm from, well, Indianapolis is exactly the centriot video. Could it be more the middle of Indiana? But it is weird though, because I, every time that I went to Southern Indiana, or even just like South in Indiana, like I had a friend who just lived on the South side

of Indianapolis, which was not that far away. And he had like a Southern accent. And it was like, it's, I felt like it was more of a rural accent than it was a like actual like Southern draw accent. It was just like, well nobody speaks like that second one unless you're in unless you're Colonel Sanders. Well, I'm just a simple country chicken lawyer. A country chicken lawyer from Savannah is what that boy says.

What is his voice sound like? You're on a 12 piece bucket. A journey. It was more like it was more like a cadence thing. His voice sound like you're on a 12 piece bucket adjourned It was more it was like it was more like a it was more like a cadence thing like it He just had like more of a cadence to his voice and and he was from Indianapolis like bait basically not really It was outside of Indianapolis, but it was the we were from the same place It's why with when people hear Indiana they think like you know two horses and 10 cows and the horses are the mayors. And the cows are the wives.

And the cows are the wives. Um, what is, and I'm going to feel dumb as soon as this leaves my lips, but I'm, it's, I'm going to risk it. Hey, I let you to feel dumb before it leaves your lips, and then you'll just feel normal as you say it. You're a true friend. What it, so in my head, I always thought Indianapolis was like, the name Indianapolis is one, because it's in Indiana,

and it's like a metropolis. So to me Indianapolis is a combination, it's almost like Pizza Taco Bell. It's a combination Indiana metropolis. Is that correct? I think Annapolis is mean city. So like Indianapolis, like many Annapolis, I think Apple is like the Greek thing for like city Is that derived from Apollo?

Apalus Apollo's list Yes, yes, and it would only come out when he was saying the word city So it's Apollo's list Meade You just got thethello for the thlaw. Yeah, but that's where I think that's where that's from. But I could be absolutely incorrect inapolis. But there's a bunch of cities haveapolis on them that are... Minneapolis.

Yeah. Inapolis. Inapolis. Inapolis. Yeah, these are them that are like- Minimalist. Yeah. Nationalapolis. Nationalapolis. Nationalapolis. Yeah, these are lost cities. Lostapolis. These are cities. Oh, okay, hold on.

Oh. It's from a Greek word, meaning citizen of no country. Polis was a city state of ancient Greece, adding the A in front means not of. So, miniapolis and Indianapolis. I have no idea, but they took theapolis from that Greek word. That's an Holes. And Aaron, we should say that Aaron. We should say that Aaron climbed up her bookshelf ladder

and knocked it to the side so that she whizzed by all her books, all of Belle and Beauty and the Beast. She grabbed a big old tome that said, city, city info. Yeah, I gotta tell you, I gotta concussion twice in non-fire exchange. You push the letter too hard? Yeah, I'm going up the ladder, but my head and then push the letter too hard, going sideways.

But there's the girl. There she goes, that girl is so concussed now. Ow! I'm really, really concussust, she dropped that heavy book out of her zoom and it fell from the top of her zoom into the bottom of her zoom with the top of mine. I caught it. I did look this up.

This is funny. So this is funny. This is interesting, I'd say, as a fact. Polis, as we all know, means the thing that Erin just said, it was a polis sausage, it is a sausage that blogs to know on. Okay, well if I pee right now, we'll go into your screen too, asking for a friend. Ow! Ow! Why is this hot? It's an acid! It's not hot in temperature, it's hot like spicy.

Okay, well here you get two options. Is it either hot like spicy or it's the consistency of hail. You decide. Can I tell you this? So this is something that is kind of gross, but it is something that happened to me this last week. So, thick pee? No, I'm sorry. It wasn't a bodily thing for me, and I will spare you the gory details. But spaghetti got sicker than she has, like, got since she was a puppy, and she had giardia, which is like a stomach bug or whatever. Oh no, sweetie. Giardia is Sport pepper and chopped up. It's what you get with a side of a tie and beef. Oh, it's delicious Well, you say Giardia to people you either go with Jardinera or

What's the what's the what's the STI? Got a real anyway, I was eating geraniums Yes, that's very unique. Anyway, she got super sick. She threw up like five times. But it was also kind of concerning, you know, when it pets second, you're like, oh no. But at one point, she was like, we were trying to like, do you want to lay down? Like, where do you want to go?

Like, she was just kind of walking around, just getting everything out of her. So she was just like standing in the kitchen, just like her legs were shaking. And she was just staring off her the distance, we're like, oh no. And we were like, do you wanna drink some water? And she like, went and drank some water. And then she like threw up all the water. So I've cleaned up way worse than I,

and this is just watered up. Like, well, thank God it's just water. But when I was like cleaning up her water, I was like, it's cold. Like, it's not, it's cold like the water for her bowl was cold. And I'm like, oh, cold. It's not, it's cold like the water for her bowl was cold. And I'm like, oh, throwing up something that is cold is just like, it's gotta be the worst, the worst experience.

You go, I am not okay in my insides. I'm famously supposed to be around 98 degrees. And if this is coming out cold, that I am not 98 degrees. If it was in me and it's coming out of me, it should be baked to the correct temperature, but this is not. Speaking of Inu and coming out of you, I believe you have some riddles that are dying to be regurgitated to our listeners' ears.

And I cannot wait to borph these little riddles as you're just... This is f- Yucky, uh, good. Borph is my favorite star track, Next Generation character. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. He's got that crease on his forehead. Yes, you're thinking of six of nine.

That's it. Nice. Okay, so again, I'm digging deep into the listener-submitted mail bag for some of these, but I wanted to do just some listener-submitted ones and these are from, you know, again, very beginning of the show. We're talking about 2018. These things are now, well, I guess. That's so crazy. I was all in tea then.

Crea historic. That's wild. I wasn't even born. These are from August, so they're not three years old, but they're getting close. They're getting close to that. Okay, so this one, and this is before we asked people if we could read their names. So I'm just going to read first names. This is from I believe eram, eram. Eram? Yeah. Man. Oh, I think this is I know this person.

I think it's eram. Yeah. Eram. Eram. Yeah. Well, this is a person that Adel potentially knows and this is eram. era. Well, this is a person that Adel potentially knows and this is era. Erim says, Hey, they're own peas. You guys make my Wednesdays commute so much better. Please never stop for a little in puzzling and then take a stab at this. Rizzy, if you dare, like a Toyota or civic, I'm just as good in reverse.

Stab. What am I? Stab, stab, stab. Or civic. I'm just as good in a room. Now Aaron, are you stabbing Aaron there? No, I'm stabbing the riddle. He told me to take a stab at it. Oh, is it? That's true. How do I do this?

Hold on. Oh, is it my ass that won't quit? Is it my ass that won't quit? You're ass that won't quit I have a question about. Is it just as good and reverse? Yeah, of course. Okay, is the answer is the answer Siddhuig? I'm just as good and reverse.

Yeah, so Siddhuig, one is the couple name for Siddhuig and my sister and brother-in-law. And then two, that's as good in reverse or backwards. Well, it's not so good. What did you say it was? What should be... So Doug, Dougsa? As good? Wait, wait, wait, read the riddle again.

I took G-O-O-D space AS and then I flipped that so it's S-A-D-O-O-G. So I didn't, you did it. You did it as. Oh, whoops. Okay, I think I'm gonna need the riddle again. I'm drunk. I'm drunk.

Wait, you're saying the air just has a good as? No, no, no, no. I don't quit. For, for a local charity, I told people I would do a dunk tank and I accidentally went to the drunk tank. And so I am sloshed. And I'm gonna borph. Okay well honestly this must be your first dunk tank because every time I go to a dunk tank I get drunk as a skunk before I go. Otherwise it's gonna hurt my feelings.

I want to see a scene. The two of you are on the hit show dunk tank where you have to pitch an idea. Oh we're gonna Aaron, you're pitching an idea to JPC who's one of the dunks and if you don't pitch your idea in the quick enough time or he doesn't like your idea, he dunks all over you. Why should I, Mr. Waterfall, give you the million dollar prize? $1 million prize. I'm asking for a million dollars for five percent stake in my company, in my company, us, um, uh, um, it's, hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mike, can we, can we cut for a second?

Cut. Thank you, Mike. Are you nervous? Yeah, I'm really nervous. I've never been on TV before. I'm on TV every week. I'm Mr. Waterfall. It's actually, you know, it Yeah, I'm really nervous. I've never been on TV before. I'm on TV every week. I'm Mr. Waterfall. It's actually, you know, it's totally fine to be nervous.

I'm gonna give you a little something that someone gave me back when I was first starting out that will help you feel less nervous. I want you to close your eyes and imagine me naked. Okay. Okay. Okay. That helps me a lot. That is hysterical. Okay. Okay. Okay. That helps me a lot.

That is hysterical. Okay, I'm having a break. Imagine myself naked. I was like, ready, hell yeah. I'm ready. Okay, all right, and I'm ready. Okay. Mike, we good?

Sorry. I was on my phone. What's up? Just say action, Mike. Did you know that Stevie Nix is still alive? All right, Mike's somebody's cousin. That's surprising. That's surprising.

I'm sorry. Action. Okay. I'm Mr. Wike. Action. I had to say action. I'm Mr. Waterfalls. I really want you to win that a million dollar prize. Show me what you got. I'm asking for a million dollar for five percent stake in my company. Take money from Mr. Waterfalls and give it to Stevie Nicks. We have raised over $100,000 from other investors. How much over? Please Pacific. No, we're not, we have raised over $100,000.

So it's like more or less $100,000. It's basically another way of saying $100. Okay. That's a dollar. No, it's not. No, that's just business talk. Hey, so what does your lying to me? Dunk. Are you not pissed?

Hold on, that alarm means that you have one dunk. So there are only two other dunks remaining. That means I have locked in a dunk on my right hand. Oh no. Now I also have my left hand and my forehead. And if I lock in a dunk on all three hand now. I also have my left hand in my forehead and if I lock in the Dunk on all three you will get dunked. What is the show? Well, that's it. I've dunked you on my left. Am I right? Am I forehead? Mike looks like he's still on his phone Looks like he hasn't hit the actual dunk button, so you have a few more seconds Mike. You kill me

He has to hit the actual dunk button so you have a few more seconds bike you kill me See when I worked at a summer camp on the last day There was a dunk tank of like all every session of the summer camp and you really saw which can't counselors We're most hated by the children because we would be the ones getting in the dunk tank And you just see something in their eyes and they would really want a dunk. It wasn't you, was it? Would you get... No, I think they're mostly apathetic towards me. Um, yeah.

But yeah, there wasn't a lot of hatred towards me. How old were you at this point? I think I worked at that camp for two or three years. So it was probably like 16 through 18 or 19. 16, 18 probably. Aaron, are you still working on that app called Pathetic? Yeah. It will never be finished.

True to its name. That's sort of like how I'm branding it as I'm never going to finish it. I have an app that's also called Pathetic. And what the app does is randomly at random times. It converts your ringtone to the sound of porn and then it turns your volume on. So at 80 point, like you might get a collar or a text and you should like, oh, sorry, everyone's like, oh my god, that guy's watching porn on the bus.

How pathetic. I have an app that's pathetic. Caprese salad. What are we paying $14 for mozzarella and tomato sauce? Shut up, it's amazing. Did I tell you guys about that? There's a basil, there's a basil. We put it in the oligodly type.

Inbalsamic vinegar, idiots. So I maybe like a year and a half, two years ago, I went to an improv show, and it was like at CAC and it was sold out. And I don't know how it happened, but my phone bumped and it was like at CAC and it was sold out and I don't know how it happened But my phone bumped and it was in the middle of the show full volume It went this is a head-com podcast and our show started From me my own podcast started playing in a quiet TIC theater and I was

Millie-headed That's amazing cuz people assume the worst and we are like oh she was listening to fucking hey We're on the way here Just to hyper up for this in-prem. Yo This is funny because to listen 40 hours ago That's true JPC and I were playing D&D and as we're getting ready for D&D It's like 10 a.m. Or something and all of a sudden my computer starts blaring Hey, this is out ofi, welcome to Hey, Riddle. And then it stops.

And everyone's laughing. And I'm like, was that my computer and people like, yeah. And they're like, what do you like to like listen to? Like they're all making fun. And it turned out it was JPC had turned on the link for our live show. And so it was just the intro. But I was humiliated, and these are friends.

But I'm like, I don't think everyone believed that it was Adel because it was Adel's voice that popped out. They're like, Adel's that you? And I was like, I guess it is. Oh God. Right under the bus. That's like, whenever I'm on tour with Rolling Stones,

I'll play one of their songs and I'll be like, that was Mick, no Mick did that. Did you guys have an answer to this riddle? Uh, like it. Like a Toyota or a Camry? What was it? It's like a Toyota, like a Toyota or a Civic. I'm just as good in reverse.

What am I? So a Civic is Honda. A Toyota could be many things like a camera. So one is making one as model, right? So like a Toyota or a Civic. It's a word going, it's one of, you like put the word backwards. One goes is a make, one is a model, one always tells the truth, one always loves to do. Dodge. Oh, they're, they're said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said, said eram yes the answer is a palindrome that's great I like that yeah which is like a toyota and I said or that song is called that's your palindrome for today yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

that's your palindrome for today brings such nice bright colors Aqu. I am a man, a man a plan, a panamok canal. A man a plan, a canal, panamok. Go hang us a lobby. I'm a lasagna hog. That's my favorite paladron. Pretty great. That's a good one. I think it was from like, I got that from like a Garfield book or something.

I don't know. Anyway, that has stuck with me for my entire life and will be with me until my dying day. And you don't even remember my last name. So, I want to see. It's clear what you try to remember. I know, I remember, it's Keish, you love eggs. Oh, come on. I think it's, it's Cloodle, right?

Cloodle. Yeah. Kid, cold, cougaloodle. Right, Aaron, you gotta remember that. We are getting warmer. Yeah. This next one. This next one.

Because my pee is so, so cold. And I would like for a diggy to up. You could, hey, put it in my dog's body. That'll hit it. Okay. Hey, here we go. This one is from Annie. I like this one a lot.

Um, this one, Annie says, hey, love the show. I thought I'd contribute with a couple riddles from Sweden. These are from approximately the 18th and 19th century from various areas in Sweden. I'll include the Swedish text if you want a go at reading it out loud. What do you guys think? Do you guys want to hear me pronounce these things

in Sweden? I'm not trying to get an entire country mad at us, so no. Well, I will say any time we get a listener submitted riddle or email from Sweden We do have to do a little segment that's the Swedish chef Bob, which is Swedish chef singing a popular song So I'll go first. I'm just gonna be a'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say And we're done here. Wow, great. Okay, let's see. Sure, even if you're doing it,

but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, but you're doing it, I deserve a derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe der derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe derbe der be derbe derbe der derbe der be derbe derbe derbe derbe der be derbe der be derbe derbe derbe derbe der be der derbe derbe derbe derbe der be derbe derbe der be derbe der be derbe der be der der be der be derbe der be der be der be der be derbe der be der be der be der be derbe der be der I'm gonna eat you in Cheapy-Pream and we... I'm gonna eat you in Cheapy-Pream and we... I'm gonna eat you in Cheapy-Pream and we... I'm gonna eat you in Cheapy-Pream and we...

I'm gonna eat you in Cheapy-Pream and we... This isn't a sign. What is that? What is that? That was a... Love Yourself by Justin Bieber. A Bieber. Okay, what are these Swedish riddles? I'm right. Okay, so here's the first one.

Walks uphill and downhill and carries a bone in its mouth. Walks uphill and downhill and carries a bone in its mouth. These are hundreds of years old and they're from Sweden. And it's not a dog. This might help you. Okay. Guard up for a back. Look at for the back.

Aq bar et bin et kaften. Aq bar, let me just pause and say dead, stop. Act bar is not a Swedish word. Admiral Act bar is not a Swedish character. He's a trap! Up and downhill. He's a true. Is it a literal hell?

It is not a hell, no. Walks up and downhill with a bone in their mouth. Is this a person giving a everlasting blowjob? Because in 100 years ago, because this can't be an advantage stop trying to sell. Stop trying to sell you to Willie Walgott adult script, okay? Everlasting gobsucker. Everlasting gobsucker. Oh my God, we have to write this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm writing this musical. Aaron, I'm writing this musical. You're the star. Oh God, I'm out. I'm out. There's a great Mr. Show sketch. It's a fun sketch.

Or it's not, and I don't remember it. But it's like Bob Odenkirk getting back together with this girlfriend and they've been broken up for a week. And people keep coming into this bar that they're in and slapping them or punching them because of all the shit that he's done in the week. And he's basically like, I've just been crying and missing you for a week.

And at one point, he says that he's done in the week, and he's basically like, I've just been like crying and like missing you for a week. And at one point, he says that he was in a blowjob contest in that week, and his girlfriend's like, you were in a blowjob contest, he's like, no, no, no, no, no, giving blowjobs. And then later on, someone throws a drink in his face, and he says something about how like they have a drink named after him at this bar. And he's like, they have a drink called the Tom Samuels and he's like no it's

called the ultimate conksucker. That's perfect. Bobo and Kirk, comedy genius. Bobo and Kirk, and he can do it all. He can break bad with the best of them. But do we have an answer for this riddle? This one I think is hard. I'm trying.

I don't even understand it. I imagine it's like analogous. It's not a literal bone. It's not a literal bone. Is it like teeth or bone and we all, it's like every human? Well, you know what? Actually, let me just double check this. We're just like a man in the morning, man in the evening, man at night kind of situation. Yeah. We're up here on down hill or like early stage, like beginning half of your life in the last half or something. I don't understand this one truly,

because Carrie's a bone in its mouth. I think it might be more, if it's like walks uphill and downhill and carries a muscle. I will also say carries a bone in mouth. I'm more of a Charlotte's abonance mouth. I was a man that's about to come out. No, I'm a carries with a bone is a mouth. Is it three? Are there three? No, there's four. Miranda, Miranda, carry and Charlotte.

Okay. Your full Miranda, it's funny that you don't remember because your Miranda, none of this matters. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it.

You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're not it. You're of quarantine, you just like are like, fucking none of it. None of it matters. Yeah, so maybe that's your clue.

It's not, carries a bone in its mouth. I would take carries a muscle in its mouth. Maybe even the strongest muscle. The tongue. Okay. The strongest muscle is the tongue. So what goes up, Helen Downhill, carries a tongue issue?

Yes, it is a shoe. Wow. Does anyone know what carries a bone in its mouth? It's supposed to get you to? If the shoe fits, guess it. The bone in a shoe is supposed to get you to if the shoe fits kiss it And a shoe do you guys don't have bones in your shoes? Is the bone supposed to be your foot like it's the opening of the shoe? Yes, it carries a bone in its mouth. Okay cool that's not at all. That makes sense. Okay

I would say that's a great riddle. I feel like the foot doesn't the foot famously have like the most bones Most people That's why I could never be a ballet dancer Yeah, the doctors have told me that I have eight bones so Who knows Aaron? I think I would have been a great ballet dancer if I had cared about anything or I was good at Being disciplined and showing up places, but I'm not Aaron. I need you to play a your feet are like a loaves of bread Thank you Okay, so this next one what speaks and replies but has neither tongue nor mouth

and replies but has neither tongue nor mouth. Would speaks or replies. I guess a simpler way to say this would be Vada desaam talar aksavar min samhara warkantunga elermon. A telephone, walkie-talkie. Now Eric, these widows were written in the 18th century. You heard me bitch time travel. Time travel.

Time travel. The answer is the time traveler's wife. So thank you. Oh, a great film. No, it's terrible. It's terrible. I always think about how Haley Palmer thought I loved that movie and she watched it and then judged me

and she realized I was talking about about time. Very different vibe. Very different vibe and about different vibe than about time, but about time also kind of creepy. Time to other's wife, famously set in Chicago, their reference and Sathers and the Metro. It's like they were here. Those are two things.

Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things.

Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things. Those are two things., they lived in Chicago for their whole lives. So they proposed at the bean. They went to the Navy pier stained glass music. That would be an excellent fit. Hey, anyone out there listening, if you're ever gonna propose to me, if you propose to meet the beam, I will laugh out loud. And then I'll say yes.

Are we, hold on, are we all calling it the beam? Yeah, the beam. Sean beam. The beam. The beam. The beam. Someone's not simply walking to Chicago. James, can you read the riddle again? What speaks and replies, but has neither tongue nor mouth?

An echo. An echo? No. In area, I think that, well, well, telephone is incorrect. I think it maybe is like around, it can help you get to the right answer because you're on the right track.

Is it like a labyrinth? A postcard? Yeah, yes, but like in the olden times like what would you BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Telegraph You don't know the location of a submarine, Aaron. No, this is a this is I know the location of several submarines. I know I'm on Reddit.

So yeah, we're keeping track. Be more specific. Be, be, be, be, be, be. I know what Submariner you're talking about. I know what morph code is. Ha, ha. No, so you're writing a letter, but it's not the paper and it's not the letter.

It's the, we'll call it a pencil. And yes, an ink quill. It's the, we'll call it a pencil. Yes. An ink quill. It is. It is an ink quill. Interesting. Yeah, it's very interesting.

Okay, so I want to see a quick scene. Yep. Adel and Aaron, you two are on a nuclear submarine. Aaron, you are, you were just sticking around and like playing around with these controls. You don't actually know how any of this stuff works. And then Adela is the captain. He comes up to you to do a Morse code message.

You're going to be like sending a Morse code message and you don't know how to do that. And sorry, this is one of those new clear submarines. Yeah, it's a glass bottom boat, but all around the field. It's from Florida. Great. Professor Daniels, I need you to send a urgent message. This is the most urgent message we'll ever send. Okay, sorry.

I'm ready to do that. I just have snooed, is pulled up on here, and I can't seem to find how to exit out of snoo'd. Is snoo'd like sexy nudes? No, snooze. Is snooze like sexy noods? No, snooze. Remember snooze at the game? Is that like chewing tobacco? No, it's like a game you could play in there, a desktop.

Also Microsoft painted up, sorry, I was just... Killin' some time over here. And also I wanna apologize again and again for farting earlier. I know that's like number one rule here in December and it's not fart. Here's your thing. You're new here. The first three months every new recruit holds it in or they fart, you know, in their bed or in a sweater, a rolled up sweater that they ball up in their hands. But

after three, four months, you get the hang of it. And we just walk around here. We're just propelling ourselves blast off King. Okay, that's great. Something a friend used to say blast off King. Um, I really appreciate you being nice about it. So what's the message? Well, first, let me, that's great. Something a friend used to say, blast off, King. Well, I really appreciate you being nice about it. So, what's the message? Well, first, let me, it's an emergency, so I have to rip open this protocol pack here. And it says, first thing I have to do is to outright ask you if you know how to send Morse code.

I, it's just sort of, sort of. And I put it on my resume, for sure. And that was under special skills. So that is what I said okay well you also said that you knew how to use garage band and yet when the commanders of the sub went into right and recording an album you suddenly seemed to not have the uh I figured I would know how to use garage band because people say it's super intuitive so that was just me like assuming I knew how got you okay and I'm ready do you think like Iggy pop or the white stripes list garage band as like skills on the resume?

Who? Let's just something fun to think about Okay, so let's see here second step of the protocol is I have to make sure that you have not eaten in the last two hours. Oh What am I going for swim? Well, we're in a submarine, so if something were to happen, we need to know that you can swim to the surface, because if you've eaten, you surely either drown, or the food is freshen your mouth to attract sharks. Yeah, a couple things.

Definitely put, I knew how to swim in my resume, so it must be true, right? The other thing is- Will you spell swim with two M, so we weren't sure? Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm- like I'm not gonna get back to it soon. Well, how do you play? Well, you do, okay, it's sort of like Tetris but opposite, the stuff's at the top, and they're little monitors. Sort of like Tetris but opposite, so I'm connecting blank spaces. No, dummy.

To try and fill a board? You're trying to break down a board, but it's above, so you're shooting little monsters up to the board. Oh God, you're shooting little monsters. This isn't sno Oh god. What? You're shooting little monsters. This isn't snooed. This is our command system. Oh.

What have you been doing? Oh, I was having the best time. I thought I got a high score. Oh, god. I'm not sure. Admiral on the bridge. Which one of you fuck knuckles has been farting in my sweaters? Ha, ha, ha.

It's you. Professor raise your hand. I killed a bunch of people because I thought the command center was nude I'll repeat myself Which one of you fuck knuckles has been farted in my sweater it was him what no court marshals And action Night court Marshall see night. Oh Gemma's obsessed with that game. Oh, yeah Gemma was really old. I played it growing up on my desktop Gemma found the app for it and was like over the moon and she literally plays that about an hour a day

Wow, my dad and I used to play it on my childhood computer all the time. It's really addictive. Hmm. Damn it. You know what else is really addictive? She's not that much younger than me, and I'm like, snake? Snake?

Snake? No, snake on a Nokia? Miasnude, you lood. Well, it's that magical time, 717 PM. Oh, it really is! It's riddle o'clock. Holy shit, how did that happen? 69,420 minutes into the day.

So we're gonna take a break. This worked out perfectly. We'll be right back with more. Hey, riddle, riddle. I love how you keep saying it's 69,420 minutes into the day. Which is insane. Whoops. Hey, you're a brick, a brick, a brick, a brick.

Oh, yeah. Hey, GPC. Uh, uh, yeah. You're not in trouble. I just need help. I'm, um, pranking Adal. And I'm setting up a website to prank him. Um, can I just need some advice? This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. I'm not, I'm not mad at you. We're pranking app. Squarespace is the only one website platform for entrepreneurs to stay in doubt

and to see it online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website. It gays with your audience. And so let anything for products to cut into time, all in one place, all on your terms. Hey, Otto, come here.

Come here, come here. Hey, what's going on? I actually, I want to prank GPC and I want to set up a whole website to prank him. Do you have anything that like, is there like an online store that could set up on my website to sell products? Did you know that with Squarespace, you can have custom merch, you can easily sell custom merch and create passive income stream that engages your audience and scales your brand, design your products and production and inventory and shipping are handled for you saving you time

and money. What is happening? Okay. Wait, what's going on with that? Oh, nothing, nothing. I'm just sending up a very normal Squarespace website, not a prank thing. No, he's gonna tune you. And I'm gonna use analytics, use insights to grow my business and learn where my site visits and sales are coming from. That's pretty cool. I'm gonna improve my website and build marketing strategy based on top keywords, our popular products and content

on my prank website, the prank site too. Whoa, that's awesome, Aaron. I'm glad you're using Squarespace. Did you say what the website was for? I can't remember what the website was for. Yeah, the website was for. Frank. With Squarespace.

Yes, Rinses. You can connect to your store to Vedent Third Party Tools to extend the functionality of your website. Hey, JPC, hey, JPC. What's up, battle? I can't believe we pranked Aaron with our little boy routine. Dude, we got her.

Anyway, if you want to prank Aaron with your little boy routine, head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash riddle to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, she's back. She's back. Hey, Aaron. Hey, Aaron. Can we go to grandma's house? Wait, I've been pranked. But how? I don't know. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, Adel and JPC.

Thank you for meeting me in the middle of the woods here. I am sort of at an impasse. I can't decide whether or not to go this way or this way. I'm having a hard time choosing a path. You know, there never truly is a middle of the woods. Isn't it funny to think about something like that? There never truly is a middle of the woods. No, this is the middle.

Okay, this is it. Addle, can you help? Yeah, actually. So as per Robert Frost, I don't know if you know his poems. He has a poem called Better Help. I believe this is written in the 1800s, but it still stands true today more than ever. Aaron, you should try better help. Have you heard of this? You seen this?

Because sometimes Aaron in life we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career relationships, being stuck in the middle of the woods, therapy helps you stay connected to what you owl owl. Sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you ow, ow, ow, sorry, that also does so fast. Therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life and the woods. Mmm, and better help is entirely online, so it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. I've been using it for several years, and it suits the way that my brain works way better than traditional therapy ever did.

And when Aaron says traditional therapy, just so everyone's clear, what she means is tricking two of her friends to coming to the middle of the woods, even though there isn't truly the concept of the middle of the woods. Isn't that fun to think about? All you have to do is just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Hey, Aaron, a GPC's putting down bread crumbs and then immediately picking them up and eating them.

Oh, dirty bread crumbs. Mmm. Mmm. And he's also like really into that owl who's swooping down. Anyways, let there be your map with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash riddle today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle r-i-d-d-l-e

r-i-d-d-l-e the middle of riddles of D but there is no true middle of riddle because it would be the space in the middle of the two D. I am home. I am home. Who are we? What is this? I, clink, clink, clink. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I just want to make a quick toast to,

I know it's JPC's birthday, and we're all so excited to talk about him, but I want to talk about my favorite, my favorite thing in the world. And that is the app Rocket Bunny. Oh, yeah, Aaron, that's one of my favorite things as well. Huh?

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. I've been using it for years, way before they were a sponsor, and it helps me so much, especially around tax season. Kling, kling, kling, kling, kling. Sorry, I also want to give a toast. Rocket money, well quickly, and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel.

And Rocket money will cancel it for you. It's that easy. Kling, cling, cling. Mm-hmm. It also categorizes your expenses so you can easily track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. I'm clinging. You didn't clink. Over 3 million. Well, cling, cl. Over three million, over three million people have used rocket money saving the average

person up to $720 a year. We love rock. Stop. Stop. No, click, click, click, stop. Throwing your money away, cancel unwirted subscriptions today and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash riddle. That's rocketmoney.com slash riddle. Rockatmoney.com slash riddle. And tell them JPC's birthday got ruined by two of his friends for doing speeches about

rocket money the website. I love you, Rugg and MONEY. Rugg and MONEY. Rugg and MONEY. Rugg and MONEY. Rugg and MONEY. Yag blef fad escogan Medin jag levde vrgaj Stum minsen jag Ardod skangur Jag rats vjall. I understood Medin jag dis and that's about it.

Yes, J.B.C. that's exactly what you should do to alienate our Swedish listeners. Good idea. Iate our Swedish listeners. Good idea. I don't know if I'm Swedish. I think our Swedish listeners are pretty impressed with my phonetic pronunciation. You actually have a lot of people who listen from Sweden. I don't know if we did. I don't know if I told you guys, but I'm, well, one, I'm like a quarter to 30% Swedish.

My family's from Delarney, which is in Sweden where they make those little red horses. And then two, I went to Stockholm and it was truly like the most beautiful place. I didn't realize it's like 400 little islands connected by like bridges and stuff. And every single person I met was like six foot four and stunning. Truly, truly just a magical land. Okay, let's go. Damn, sounds like it was well-stocked homes. Pretty good. There's a guy I, sounds like it was well-stocked homes.

Pretty good. There's a guy I was lost and I was looking for my hotel and a guy who's clear like a businessman was like, do you need hope? And I was like, yeah, I can't find this hotel. Can you tell me what direction he goes? No, no, no, no. I will walk you. And he walked me like 28 minutes to my hotel. Oh, oh my god. I was like, the people here are the most kinds, amazing, impressive, beautiful people. I would love to travel. That would be amazing. You guys find me a rich boyfriend right now. Everybody go.

What are you doing? You're still sitting there. I can still see both of you. My name's Rich. Can we date? Get out of my face. I don't know. Shad's a friend.

I don't think I would do that. Go run. Run. Uh, OK. I don't know. Shods of Fred. I don't think I would do that. Go run, run! Uh, okay, so for all of y'all who don't speak the king's Swedish, here's the, I guess, well, it sounds like this is fucking dog vomit in my mouth. American translation. I was born in the woods while I lived.

I was mute, but since I died, this thing pretty well Well, I'm a Tree that got turned into a flute. This is funny because I think the answer is Stevie next No, she wasn't mute she had the voice of a fucking angel RIP Stevie. No, no, we can't make jokes about that. No, we can. No, we can. We've messed up before. I think this guy's, I think, to show kills people. Do you think Stevie Nix and Nikki Six have ever fucked? Hey, let me, let me put it this way.

If I accidentally kill Stevie Nix by reading this riddle and saying RIP Stevie Nix, RIP Mitch McConnell, RIP Donald Trump, RIP former vice president Mike Pits, the hashtag would have to be rip publicans. RIP Nancy Pelosi, RIP Chuck Schubert, I think you'll order no Schubert. I was born in the woods. We don't need to kill them. We just need to encourage them to retire. Hey, death is the ultimate retirement.

It's the only retirement you don't need a plan for. The 401k is amazing. Okay, if you're not planning for your death, you're going to be a burden to your family. That's true. I keep telling my family, when when I die give me to a bird Thing about life nobody makes it out alive Okay, the answer to this riddle is not what I said about the tree being turned into a flute. Well, I don't wouldn't flute Aaron. Yeah

No, it's a recorder a recorder I think Is it a little wooden boy when I lived I was mute. I think it would work. It could work. Drum. Is it a little wooden boy? When I lived, I was mute. I think that this... I lived, I was mute. You're on the right track, but it's an instrument, basically, but it's not that instrument.

Is it a liar? It's not a liar. So, can you repeat the full thing again? I was born in the woods. Yeah, but I don't think that I was born in the woods. Yeah, but I don't think I was born in the woods while I lived I was mute. But since I died, I sing pretty well. So it's a wooden instrument.

Yeah, but this is not, it's a wooden instrument. This is an instrument that you need like another thing to play it. Like you can. Oh. I guess you could just. Hmm. Yeah, the drum guitar.

It's a drum guitar. Not drum, not piano, not the drum guitar. No, think of woodwinds, I think this is a woodwind. Sounds like a reed. Like not a reed, it plays with your hands up with your mouth. Oh, bow. You need a bow for it. Oh, violin. Ah, violin.

A strata-vari. A stradavari. A stradavari? What are those expensive violin? I want to see a scene. Well, Eric had said stradavari several times and her wand lit up and then her wand went dark and then her wand went up and then her wand lit dark. Hello, how about toven? I want to see a scene.

JPC, you are like a world class spy. Thank you. Also world class asshole uh... and you are you are under cover uh... in like this famous uh... or in this famous orchestra uh... trying catch a killer uh... and you are you never touched a violin and you're trying to um... fake it

uh... and air and you are the conductor uh... and all right well it all plays the when you are the conductor. I am. Alright, well, it's all play-a-see. See why aren't you playing? I'm sorry, you were talking to me. Yeah, are you ready? Oh, yes, you wanted me to play-a-see. Yeah, ready? I'd rather take you to the high seas.

I have a sailing boat to know. What? Okay, I'm the performance about is about okay starts I'm a little Tung tied sorry if at any point tonight. I'm a little sharp Yes, sorry that man I I threw a throw I grabbed at that man. I thought that's that's a Don't worry. Yeah, I thought it was a rifle. I thought it was a rifle. Cullen me embarrassed. He's just a bassoon player, don't worry.

And also, he was a third chair, so not much of a loss. Too bassoon. Do you mind if I switch over to flute? What do you mean? Well, I was going to play violin, but this champagne flute is more than my liking. Maybe a champagne flute for you as well. I gotta tell you, you're really impressing me, but there is an audience out there,

and well, we are a little bit delayed in our playing. Look. It's okay, we'll get started in just a second. Okay, maybe flute's not the instrument for me. Um, do you want sax? What? Do you want sax? Oh, a saxophone.

Oh my god, I'm blushing. I guess I could find one of those as well. Prond. Prond, can you hear me? Prond, this is mission control. Prond here. Please, just fake play the violin. Stop trying to fuck everyone.

Hey, if you want someone to come here and do the mission, you can call James Bond, you can call Alex Trevali, you can call one of the double-o's. You called Frond or whatever. I'm gonna fuck, I'm gonna try my best. I'm gonna try I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna call my shot I'm gonna try my best to fuck the conductor of this orchestra. That's how I'm gonna do it. Okay One two three four five six I guess so but I'm probably gonna need a sandwich in between four and five I'm probably gonna need a sandwich in between four and five Seen wow

Raines prawns Learning for the woman as she's trying to do her job. I love it. I like I like I didn't pick the scene I like that you killed somebody with a knife and Aaron And you're like oh, but soon. I thought it was a rifle. So you knew and Aaron didn't tell you was a bassoon and you're like, oh, but soon I thought it was a rifle. So you knew and Aaron didn't tell you it was a but soon. A guy. I had a movie there. From took music class, like he has an understanding of these things.

He's just not good at his job. Speaking of having an understanding of things, I think when we went to break, I said that 717 PM is 69,420 minutes into the day. That couldn't be more right. I stand by that. No, it couldn't be more wrong. Please, please don't learn minutes into the day. That couldn't be more right. I stand by that. No, it couldn't be more wrong. Please, please don't learn math from the show.

We're begging. Who are you calling a more wrong? All right, this is the last one. This is the last one for Manny. Okay. What is longer than the tallest of trees, but still doesn't reach above the berry bushes. Oh, and Sweden, that's winter.

doesn't reach above the berry bushes. Oh and Sweden that's winter. Oh, it's a big notor-zontally long, a river. It's not a river that's a really great guess. Maybe this'll help. Vader, that's on Arlong and Death, Langstad, Rad, Menanda, Inter, Nr, Oven, Fort, Baireset. Do hast, do host, meesh. I, you know what, I want to know, give me a score. If you're a Swedish listener, you know,

a scale of one to ten, teen, been ten, one being one, tell me how I did. Okay, so it's not a river, which I think actually works. I do have people who are aware of it. Again, it does. What is longer than the tallest of trees, but still doesn't reach above the berry bushes. You think think other long things that would be maybe next to a river big old snake.

Yeah, big old snake. Yeah snake that's taller the trees. Hey enough with this playing around just give it to me straight. Am I right? Just give it to me straight. Am I right? Adam, Adam got it. It's a snake. Um, uh, yeah. Uh, Adam, you are like a solo hiker traveler in the woods. And um, JPC, you're a big ol' snake, and you're trying to convince Adam that you're like not poisoned, so they're scary, so he can relax.

Duh, duh, duh. Oh. Oh. Um, sorry, I just want to pass by. Yes, yes. Uh, I'm sorry, I was just sunbathing here upon the path. If you wanted to pass by, just climb over me and you could continue on your way. No, this is like the scorpion in the frog. I'm sorry.

It doesn't matter. Um, can I... No, no, no. Are you saying explain it to me. I'm not stupid, I'm a snake! You don't think I can get it because I'm a snake? Well- You think it's from a book? You think it's from a book and snakes can't read books, so I wouldn't get it.

Well, it involves a frog and a scorpion, which are animals like you, so- I think it's meant for humans to talk about animals, but not too- Oh! So you think I don't know frogs or scorpions? I live in the woods and you live in a city and I don't know frogs or scorpions Some of my best friends are frogs. Okay fuck scorpions. I'll say that right now fuck those assholes I don't know enough about the animal kingdom to be one of my best friends of frogs. Okay. That's fine. Well It's about it's a frog who's gonna swim across the scorpion says give me a ride the frog says no

You're gonna sting me scorpion says I swear to you. swim across, the scorpion says, give me a ride, the frog says, no, you're gonna sting me. Scorpion says, I swear to you, I won't. Scorpion gets on the frog's back, they're halfway across the water. Should end the scorpion stings him. And as they're drowning, the frog goes, what the fuck, and the scorpion goes, I'm a scorpion, what'd you expect?

Ah, so you're saying, you're being a snake in the road. As soon as you try to climb over me, I'll eat you into value and I'll say something quippy like I'm a snake, what did you expect? And I realize now that as I was telling that parable, you bit me on the ankle. Yes, now I did do that, but I'm not a poisoner snake. Oh, well, it's not a deadly poison. It will not meal. Oh Emotionally. Wow. You still be able to feel physically and really think I'm doing to you. Hypothetically.

Hypothetically. Oh. Yeah, I guess I'm no one. What size are you? Medium. Yeah. Thirty four long. Waste 36.

Thirty four wrong. Thirty four wrong. I'm a thirty four a 34 32. Okay, don't if you were thinking I'm going to eat you do not worry I have no desire to eat you now I'm going to dress you up in some outfits I'm going to put you in some outfits montage The snake is dressing up the

This rake is dressing up the h The snake is dressing up the hiker The outfit's some of the outfits are very very good And some of the outfits are very very bad They're making friends and they're at the mall Now they're getting a smoothie Now they're wearing the very same outfit Now they're wearing very different outfits Now they're both dressed up like the village people.

The hiker steps out, presenting an outfit. The snake is reading a paper. He puts them to paper and shakes his head no. Oh, back to the drawing board. OK, now I am going to eat you. Nurt. An action. Perfect.

What a great little montage song. Oh yeah, put that on all of our montages. So it's not, Aaron River works, but that is not the answer to this hundred-year-old riddle. So it could be Beside a River, it's also something that like one would maybe travel on. A PATHLON like a river? A bank, a trail. A PATHLON, a trail? A path or a trail? Yeah, a road.

A road. Yes, you got it. It is a road. Annie never actually says that Annie is from Sweden. Annie also just said that they are riddles from Sweden. But either way, Annie, freaking thank you for sending those in, those were great. Those were amazing.

We had a fun time reading them. We need more riddles that are translated from like old and text. Yeah, those are fun. Yeah, I think Rital National, Rital National, Rital National. Oh, JPCs having a strong, Rital National. No, it's happens once and a half. I'm coming up with the episode in real time. That's why we created the character J.B. Rital. So we could brush up with the episode title in real time. That's why we create the character JP riddles

So so we could brush that under the rug He's almost there. He's he's gonna get it. I think that we need more riddle to national a little bit Sorry, I was we're winding him Do you okay? I love every one to go itself. Okay, this next one is from Patrick Patrick says oh oh, please. Aaron, do you feel like you'd be able to tell if somebody was playing Swedish backwards? Yes, I'm a very intelligent person. It's a very good ear. Okay.

JPC, sorry, go ahead. Aaron has one good ear. Sorry, guys, I'm fully in the middle of watching some episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, so if you're talking to me at all, I'm only half listening this episode. That's a game show, right? Where if they say no to the dress, they lose a million dollars, but yes, they win a million. Honestly, if even one of us is half-lifed listening for an episode, that is a 100% improvement. All right, so Patrick is I'm going to read this. I'm going to read this in its entirety. And there is an answer to this, but this is a paragraph that I will be reading.

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm hoping you can find out quickly what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would not think, I'm sorry, that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is highly unusual though, but why? Study it and think hard about it. You may not find anything odd at first,

but if you work at it, it just might dawn on you why this paragraph is totally unusual. Oh, it's written by a condescending piece of shit. Was that it? What is it? The paragraph is self-aware. Adela is correct and Aaron, that is all Reynolds. Uh, yeah, I hate when paragraphs get self-aware. He went down to the lake and, oh my god, am I a book? Holy shit, I'm a book! Fuck, oh god, am I a book? Am I gonna die? Am I even alive? Well, I'm a book Oh god, I'm a book am I gonna die am I even alive?

Well, I've been remembered More purpose to it is a more book should be like they walked up the path and then said Kill me oh my god. Oh my god. I'm a book Oh my god, oh my god, I'm a book. I see you both a picture of this paragraph as well. It may be easier for you to figure out what is so unusual about this paragraph if you Are looking at it I'm hoping you didn't find my phone was on airplane mode, so give it a second Aaron's phone has landed you're now free to phone about the cabin Is it that they're all like run-on sensors or something?

It uses like only a few words. Aaron? Yes, but there's something else to it. But yeah, it uses very specific words. Yeah, unusual paragraph. Those are all said like three times. Mm-hmm. Why?

It repeats a lot of words as well. Yeah, and I think that a lot of the reason why it repeats words is to make it longer, to make it, but that, again, the fact that it repeats words doesn't make it more unusual, but it is very unusual for a reason. But every sentence uses, oh no, that's not true. Yeah, so it doesn't have anything to do with a specific word in there, or like a grouping of words, as much as it has to do with the totality of all of the words. Oh, I see what's going on here.

Oh, hell don't see what's going on here. I thought I solved it, but I found some discrepancies. I thought that it was every sentence ends with it and begins with it, but that is incorrect. But several sentences end with it and begin with it. Again, it's less about individual words or groups of words as it is about every single word in here in this riddle. Has something in common, I would say. Every, every single word in here has something in common. Yeah, to a certain extent. Um, vowels?

Aaron, can you elaborate? Can you just, can you use the answer in a sentence? Um, I do love the direction that you're going here, Aaron, but I'm gonna need to be, I'm going to need the judges can accept it unless it's a little more specific. Every word has at least one vowel. Oh, a, i, i, you. I, i, i, you, you, you, you, a, ooo.

There's no ease in this paragraph. You both got, you both got the riddle and described your method of solving it. No ease. Just like a church rave. No ease. Just like my ideal uh, entourage, no e. What about turtle? That's my nightmare, I love the letter E because my name begins with e. It's also my nightmare.

Entourage without e, where's the heart? And then why would you even have Sloan in there? She doesn't fit. I want to see a scene. The two of you are at the aforementioned church rave, where there's no drugs permitted. And the two of you kind of, you don't know each other, but you kind of bumped into each other, you're kind of grooving. And you both, one of you is trying to suss out the other to see if they're into drugs or if they're straight list. Hey, Bethany, right?

Yeah! Tyler! Oh, Tyler! Tyler! Tyler! Oh my gosh! Okay, you look a little bit like Jararb. He's your cousin, right?

Yes, Jararb's my cousin. Incredible. This is so fun! Your pupils seem pretty dilated. Are you high off of Jesus's love? That's so funny Bethany. No, I had an eye appointment a little earlier in the day. Oh, they dilated your eyes.

Cool. Just get a little bit of pain. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, as long as I'm wearing these big sunglasses, it doesn't affect me too much, but I kind of wanted to look cool here at the dance Uh, gee cool. What are you into?

Oh yeah, I'm, oh man, I mean I I'm into pretty much everything that kids my age are into, right tep tex um Sunday school Uh alphabetical order Do you ever just like go and take like more communion than you should or like more of the blood of price than you should? Oh, no, I mean, not unless I was very hungry. Hey, Bethany, I know that this is a kind of strange, um, but, uh, Gerard asked me if your cousin Mary Jane was gonna be here at the day.

Oh, wink, wink, wink. You want to get fucked up? Oh, so she- I'm sorry? You want to get fucked up? The Lord, the Lord. Yeah. What? Yeah, the Lord.

Do you want to get fucked up? I mean, I don't know if that's Gerard's intention is marriage with said woman. Oh, you mean my actual cousin Mary Jane? Yes. Yes, dead from drugs. That's insane. The perfect ending. Oh, boy.

And that could happen to you. That feels like a production they'd put on at a religious high school, right before prom. Oh, 100%. It's like this awkward scene and then it ends with them turning to the audience going, my cousin's dead from drugs. I think I watched that in CCD, I'm sure. Ha ha ha.

Fantastic. You guys, I have a raffee song stuck in my head. You guys remember Raffee? I do, yeah. You do? You do? It's you, yeah. The children's music musician, who's amazing.

Yes. Yeah, we talk about. We just talked about Raffee on Bill Buds the other day You too? It's you, yes. The children's music musician who's amazing. Yes. We just talked about... We just talked about Raffi on Bill Buds the other day because Johnny was saying that a video from 1981 of Sticks looked like a Raffi concert. That sucks. That's amazing. Raffi's still alive, isn't that amazing?

Well, R.A.P. Raffi. No, don't. Don't! You had one job to do! Oh, God! Peanut butter sandwich made with jam. Fun for me and one for David Annman. Peanut butter sandwich made with jam.

Six, six, six, six, six, six. I know lots of witches good and bad, but the best switch that I ever had is a peanut butter sandwich made with jam. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. I don't know the lyrics to any songs in yet. Refi sounds like what a three-year-old would call like the lottery. Oh, I did it for that.

That is playing the ref. What is like a week from now, it was like, Kevin McCarthy and Yani that died. And we were like, what is the power that we have? It's strange, but more like. It's not specific. It's too chaotic. We can't, we can't predict where it will fall. We have to shut it down the podcast. Okay, I do want to do one more riddle for you guys.

This one is from Connor, but Connor at the end of his email says, cheers Kevin, goofed you one last time, it's actually Connor. I don't think I've ever met a Connor who didn't punch me super hard in the shoulder and then go, what? Okay, so Connor already off to a bad start. Connor says, got a little riddle for you

have always remembered this one because I think it was the first riddle that made me mad and because it was such a wild scenario. Warning, it's weirdly biblical, fits right in on the show, and here's how it goes. In hell, everyone is punished by being forced to eat with chopsticks that are three feet long. Everyone in hell is angry and starving

because they cannot pick up their food and get it into their mouths. In heaven, everyone is gifted with three foot long chopsticks, but they are all happy and full. Why come, How that happened? I know this. This is an old parable and the reasoning is a tale is because Bible. In hell, the sushi is warm and in heaven, the sushi is ice cold. Oh, warm sushi. Sushi is always warm when you throw it up. Nope, that's not true.

I know the answer is that if you're in, do you know this one? No, I don't know this one. So is it like they like turn it into something else? Like they turn it into a chair or table or something? Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like snowpiercer, it's bugs. In heaven, in heaven, they sit on the chopsticks and so they're all happy. Oh, that's the noise that they make if I sit on the chopsticks and so they're all happy. Oh. Oh. That's the noise that I make if I sit on chopsticks.

On a three foot chopstick. Y'all are gross. I'm guessing the end with the, the, the, that's my dad. I hope my heaven isn't you two shoving stuff up with your bus. That's just how I'm. I'm just sliding down the chopstick. You're dying.

Hey, hey guys. That's me being optimistic. I hope I don't see you there. I hope YouTube dummies are far, far, far much further south than I am. I hope I'm up there and no one shoving stuff up there. Unless they wanted to do, and it's normal. I want to see you sing. The two of you are on a first date.

It's a sushi restaurant. JPC, you don't know how to use chopsticks. Aaron, you do. I love this restaurant. I hope you're hungry. I ordered like a ton for us. Oh, that's so cool. I've never heard of this.

Would you call it a style of food before? Oh, weird. Really? Sushi. Am I saying that right? Wow. Yeah, I feel like of all of the international cuisines, it's one that has been in America for a very long time.

America. I do know that one. Okay, I'm slowly, slowly seeing some red flags that indicate you're an alien. I noticed it sort of right out of the gate. No, no, no, I was born in this country. No, no, I mean sort of a space alien. When you picked me up, I said, thank you for holding the door for me,

like opening the door to the car for me. And you said, please, Laura, I mean you're welcome. Oh, okay. You got beamed up to space for a second earlier. That was another sort of, uh, indignation. You saw that. Yeah. Hold on, bleep blurt.

Second check in, ishian to you. Um, negative. I do not believe I don't make fun of my voice. Speak how you speak. I feel like you're always mocking me. I'm sorry. It's, you know that I am a better- Is that an X?

And I pick up accents when I froze time, but by the way, before I left the table. So she is none the wiser to what is happening here. You forgot to freeze it this time, I can hear you, and I'm asking you if that's an X. Hold on, I'm picking up some interference from outside. You have to speak a little louder, Blink Blort. Pick up interference, but don't pick up the check. Because we don't have any earth money.

I get I don't know what that means. Blitblart about sending you back now. Any who's all um yeah you did for me. You didn't freeze time. You don't have any money for this date. This isn't going well. Okay. X on that call, you know what I'm out of here No, no, no, no, no, no, please I know that this date is not perfect, but you also Work for the government and you know where the missiles are okay. Goodbye grabs coat starts to walk out wait wait wait wait Maybe before you leave You could drink a little champagne out of this flute with me. Oh my god, I'm blushing. See?

I'm James Fron. I wasn't an alien at all of the secret abit. I love an alien that's chasing. I love an alien that thinks he's freezing time but is absolutely not. Adel, did you know the answer to this riddle? Yes, in hell they can't eat the food because they're trying to feed themselves with these three-foot long chopsticks, and it just will not work. That's not how math works, but in heaven, they use the three-foot long chopsticks to feed each other.

Because they're good people because they're in heaven. I'll tell you this, I'm not really great with chopsticks, and if I can't get into the first couple of grabs, go in and with my fengies, and that's what I would it in the first couple of grabs, go in with my fengies! And that's what I would be doing in Hell. In Hell, the piano's only play chopsticks. Addle, in your personal Hell, what's something that you would like to be doing, or something that you would like to plug?

Something I want to plug, I was recently on the podcast, The Small Wood Sessions, so please check that out. I feel like I was on something else, but I can't recall. I'll have to promote it next week if I remember what it was, but maybe I wasn't. Back to you. Bleat Blorp. Aaron, something you'd like to plug? Bleat Blorp, yes.

Thank you so much. Follow me, Aaron, keep 10 on Instagram. I will hopefully have some fun projects coming out this year. So please do that also, also. If you are either working in this field professionally or it's a hobby of yours, please reach out to me on Instagram. If you animate or draw for comic books, are you looking to get into that? Or you have a really close friend that you think deserves a spotlight for the work they're doing in that arena

Aaron keep 10 on Instagram reach out to me if that and I'm also link some of your work or some of their work So I can see thank you so much reach out to me if you're interested GPC anything to plug no, you know, we've already done the live show that we were gonna do I have absolutely nothing on their horizon. so I will be on Twitch.tv. Slashark, Barkman, and Plane video games almost every day. Hold on, that was... ...till miserable life is over. What the fuck, that was still a plug. You said, no, I don't have plugs, and then you plugged your Twitch.

That's not my Twitch. Peanut butter sandwich, raid with jam. One for me, and one for never-admmer. Peanut butter sandwich, raid with jam. Six, six, six stick stick stick stick. Araphe, can you work a play to it or that? Yeah, I know a lot of witch is good and bad, but the best switch I have ever had is Jupiter! Goodbye! I love you Raffee, call me.

Aaron, I don't have much on this podcast. The one thing I have is Bife Forever and you said, Yum yum yum yum yum yum By forever What was just Jupiter for 100 episodes has suddenly become Jupiter, but bye bye guys bye bye And then you say bye forever after that. Holy invalidates my by for oh god my god He he's sitting on a swing in the playground going I was sorry for himself Say goodbye after I say goodbye

All right peace Sasha Baron Cohen. Bye forever. Hey there movies and titles, if you liked that you are going to love this week's Patreon. We play the Hey Riddle Vardal exclusive IMDB Focker Can You Milk Me Trivia Game. And it's only happening at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Vardal. You can listen to that plus our entire Bat Catalog by joining the clue crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8. See ya then! That was a Hitgun podcast.